RAWTALK - BRADLEY MARTYN ON HIS AYAHUASCA TRIP, ANDREW TATE OFF CAMERAS & ELON MUSK’S TWITTER

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Join Brad and the boys as they talk about his trip! As we travel through the jungles of Ayahuasca to the world social media we make some discoveries. Through their travels They discuss perspectives, life, experiences, relationships, growth, and more. So brace yourself because the travels throughout this trip get pretty wild.SUBSCRIBE HERE: https://www.youtube.com/c/REALRAWTALK?sub_confirmation=1LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rawtalk/id1294154339FOLLOW RAWTALK PODCAST:INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/getrawtalkTIKTOK | https://tiktok.com/@askrawtalkFOLLOW BRADLEY:INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/bradleymartynSUBSCRIBE TO RAWTALK PODCAST CLIPS: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvzSBNBOK599FqzrTZS8ScQ/?sub_confirmation=1SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE OF BRADLEY MARTYN: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWTQG2aMDYKGDqYEGqJb1FA/?sub_confirmation=1SUBSCRIBE TO FITNESS CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/bradleymartynonline?sub_confirmation=1RAWGEAR: https://www.rawgear.com (CODE:RAW)

We are back. Yeah, we're back. So here's a deal. Before we get into this podcast, first and foremost, I want to say that this is going to be about my ayahuasca experience. Also, the three guys that are sitting on this couch, so we're going to talk about them in a little bit. But this is the second time we did this podcast because Jacob first, and he said that, you know,

the thing stopped recording halfway through. How long did we do the podcast? So basically what happened was that we, we, hold on. How long did we film before? Two hours. Two hours. Two straight, full hours. straight for we were like yo that was great we got it we said we were like yo that was good shit

dapped each other up like let's go fucking next day jacob goes you know the audio cut halfway out uh we can't use it cool okay it was that night i texted brad and i was like fuck dude because like i knew immediately as soon as we were done with this podcast the one that we filmed previously you didn't tell i looked at the recorder and it wasn't even fucking you're a scum with you i just didn't say anything because i was like i'm just gonna save this bullshit for later on and come up with something you're not to come with something so i told them at like two hours later at like 11 o'clock and I was like yo audio for some reason just stop recording because usually I'd be behind I'd be behind the counter like making

sure everything's going well but I wasn't doing it so I was like it just stopped midway but because I think that would make me look like less of a fucking idiot it was never on it just was never on okay anyway I'll take fault for that this is V2 yeah V2 I'm gonna I'm gonna check one more thing yeah before we continue because I want to get into this ayahuasca thing because there's something I did what was it like a week ago now a week tomorrow a week tomorrow okay we're solid okay double triple check that nice dude if i if i sit through another two our podcast or we all sit through another two hour podcast and it's not recording dude i might jump off i would honestly probably new bridge in l a

i'd honestly wouldn't even i'd probably lose my job now that we're all here you know thanksgiving is tomorrow uh happy thanksgiving yes happy thanksgiving dog also part of the reason why i want to do this podcast with you guys in general was it was a kind of a thanksgiving to you guys honestly mainly Jacob that sounds like a bunch of bullshit no because we look because I learned some shit and I told you about it I'll get into that in a little bit about Jacob and about just the people of my life in general

because of the ayahuasca trip the ayahuasca trip let's talk about it so let me go into it so first and foremost everyone's probably like what is it like oh my God what like what happens like I've heard so many crazy things like you know there was this uh Connor Murphy guy who did it a bunch of times and I went crazy or some shit like wasn't even he was like drinking his own piss doing crazy shit everyone was like yo you good bro

is there a video of this I don't know if there's still in the internet. There's a lot of stuff on like Reddit and just a lot of stuff online because he was a full he's still live. Yeah, he's definitely still live. But he was like a full on fitness influencer, like aesthetic dude going to Venice Beach like flexing. But he like lost his shit. So he's just he's just a crazy tweak now. We don't know.

I don't know the exact details of it. All I know is he went through some stuff and like it was at least specifically in the fitness industry people would have known this guy. And then he was like talking about doing this and then he kind of disappeared. So I don't know what he's doing right now. I'm sure he's good. Okay. But in general, people have this idea that like, oh, this shit's so.

scary because first and foremost when I first said on the I haven't been thinking about doing this I want to say for like about the last year and for the last six months I've been like highly contemplating doing it yeah you would always like really bring it up he'd be like he'd take like mushrooms and like that was kind of like mild yeah moderate but you were always telling me how you keep you always want to do I was yeah the fact that you even like do mushrooms as much as you do like trips me out because I'm scared of mushrooms no yeah I mean we said you only microdose though well it's okay but microdosing you don't you don't

you're not scared of you know you don't you don't feel feel it's not that at all it's not like when you take mushrooms you're like oh shit like am I good my hands and all this shit's moving it's not like yeah microdose you generally if it's a true microdose you don't actually feel any you just feel maybe the sense of like happiness huh i feel good like colors are cooler but everything's normal yeah you know you're not like oh my god so anyways it's normal obviously the fear is normal but yeah i was very afraid of doing this and i was thinking about doing it for a long time because for for many reasons in my life but there was the fear was built up around what other people would say about it and he made it sound like it was

this thing and you know if you were like you always say this shit like if like if you're kind of like already crazy and then you take this thing it's going to for sure make you crazy or like hit some switch or some shit and so before I get into this I did like a whole week diet where I'm basically trying to be very consistent with the food that I'm putting in my body so I'm not eating any red meat I'm just basically eating like fish and rice what's the reason I that something to do with uh I think physiologically the way that the medicine interacts like in your gut so like your response to the medicine basically they just wanted you to trip fucking Bulls. To get higher, yeah, but also at the same time, um, I think it's, it's more so in relationship

to like showing reverence to like the practice of it, like showing that you're serious. Like, because the thing about this whole thing is, I'm sure when Connor, whoever else does this shit, willy-nilly people just do it. It's like, they just show up and like, I'm just gonna do this thing. And the whole, the whole point of this is not just like to do a plant medicine or to do a drug or however you want to view this, right? It's to genuinely go, okay, what am I trying to figure out? Like, why am I doing this? There's like steps to it to like actually make sure that you truly actually want to do it. Yeah, and there's steps to what even we're talking about mushrooms.

Like the whole point of actually doing these things, like, yeah, you could just get fucked up and take mushrooms with your boys, but you could also like try to take these things therapeutically where you're trying to get something out of it. So for a week, I'm very serious about my diet and I'm very serious about not drinking caffeine. Like everything is just super clean, super basic. And I'm just trying to like basically at the same time during this week, I'm talking to myself. I'm trying to set my intentions as far as like, what's my, what's my purpose in doing this?

Like not just to take a drug, right? not just to take this medicine. I went into it with that mentality. And like I said, I've been talking to you about doing this in general for the last year and then for the last six months really like, I want to do it.

I want to do it. And I was afraid, very afraid. And I realized from me, why do you think you were afraid, though? Yeah. Of taking it. Just to deal with the trauma was, right?

Yeah. So, so, I mean, dude, I'm afraid in general of like anything that has to do with when my body doesn't feel normal.

So like I have, you have no control over what's going on. Well, you do have control. But, I fear not having control. So, in, give you like a small example, when I drink too much caffeine. Yeah.

And I'll get like, like, my heart will like be a little bit, right. And I'll be like, oh, is that? That's not okay. I love that. That's not normal. Yeah, no, you guys, you guys fucking. Be taking stimulants up the ass. Stay up all night.

I'm like, that's fucking go. I'll drink a ghost before bed too just to like do some editing. I'm like, yeah. I can't do that shit. I can't do that. I have to. Yeah, I have to do. Anyways, well, I don't.

I literally won't sleep. I will not sleep. I have a problem. I'm like a very sensitive to all kind of drugs. I've always been that way. I've always been just like if I feel some out of sorts, like even sometimes when I'm dehydrated, I'll be like,

oh, my head and it like it gets to me mentally where I'm like something's wrong. And I like hyper focus on feeling not normal so that in general, I like to feel as good as possible, right? You guys are true nice over there. So, so. So I'm trying to like,

that's one of my biggest fears in general. So knowing that I'm going to put myself in position that is like, And this, just until we get, before we get into this, this plant, the one that I took is called Yahweh, which is like from, you know, in Colombia. Every time you say, Yahai. It's like, it's like you're about to have a great time. Yeah, no, bro, this is, so this is the strongest version. Like in my head, it's like, yeah.

In my head, every single time. This is the strongest version of ayahuasca, basically. So I took the strongest version. I've always been, yeah, like I said, afraid to like lose control, afraid to not like know what's happening. Because in general, all this stuff kind of comes. back to like uh i've talked about before obviously like losing my father and the idea of death but that was the biggest thing i wanted to conquer i wanted to feel like i could just be okay because i know that i don't have a choice i know that as in far as in what like dying my own

mortality because i've always struggled with that my whole life from my childhood till till now it's just like it never feels like it's enough i always feel like maybe i haven't done enough and i'm not good enough i haven't put out good enough like there's i don't i have this general sense of like my biggest reason to not wanting to die is because i feel like i have so much more to do And then the other side of that is that I'm afraid of the unknown. Okay, so I've always struggled, and I've been back and forth, you know, with God and my beliefs and what happens and what doesn't happen. And because I think there's no definite, yo, that dude died. He came back a year later and was like, bro, let me tell you about this.

Do you think everyone's scared of death? To a degree. I'm fucking so scared of death like that's. To a degree. Ever since I was little, like I would always tell my mom, she would always pick me up from my dad's house for the weekend. And on the way home, like, I just think about death and dying. Like, what happens? I would always ask my mom this like you could ask her I would just so obsessed with like

what's her number you're sorry mom what I want to ask her I want to talk to I'll call her myself and you can talk to her how it's that slide me the number I'll ask her I'll call her call her right now that ass no I'm kidding I'm kidding no but so we're afraid I would always ask her like what mom what happens when you die like she's like at what age I was like five and six I remember asking her this because I was so obsessed with it I would not stop thinking about it. Yeah. And I was just so young.

I don't know why I was obsessed with it, but. I was obsessed with it because of my childhood. Because my dad died. I'm like, oh, okay. What does that mean? I had no one close to me died, though. That's why I was like, maybe it's because like the shit I was watching. Like, I would always watch like horror movies and stuff like that.

Maybe that's because, like, that's why I was thinking that. But in all reality, I don't understand why I would be obsessed with it. I think it's because, like, how you said, I like to know what happens. I like to be in control of what happens. And I've always been like that since I was little. so like not knowing what happens fucks me up because I want to know what happens yeah so I'll get into this

because this is the interesting thing and part of stuff that I learned I want to get into it after though I explain the physical feelings right so first off I just want to tell you guys it's like a it's like a very thick viscous like liquid it's brown tasted horrible so like shark

I mean it didn't taste like shit if you can compare it to something I'm glad you ask yeah I'm glad you can compare it to something um shark like imagine imagine imagine imagine you took espresso beans and you know the beans that they make the

like the espresso with coffee whatever but then you take the beans and you like ground them up so that they were liquid with like a little bit of water it would probably taste something like that like not like coffee though

like so so they take the beans so look at home you know the bad after taste of coffee exactly like a terrible terrible taste that than shrooms shrooms tastes fucking gross but you can have shrooms and so different many variations. This is like this one way to do it. So anyways, oh, by the way, too. So I'm with

a guy that people would call a shaman, but technically it's called a Taita, which is like, this is a guide in doing this thing. And this guy speaks zero. I want to preface to say this now. Zero English. Okay. He speaks very little English. Like he knows basic things, but he's from Columbia. Straight up like, born and Ray's doing this shit, started, I think drinking this shit when he was like six and it's in his fan. It's his whole tradition. It's not like, it's not some like white hippie guy that was like, hey, bro, come down to Venice and like, I'll give you some ayahuas. been through some shit. This motherfucker like I've been doing it since he was a kid.

Like that's so fucks me up. But when you told me the first time I was like Imagine like a little six year old kid just fucking tripping on Iowa. But but it's like in that culture it's like that's a thing they do like in the place that he's from it's like a thing that they do that's so crazy It's like a huge mental yeah it's a mental drug so I'm thinking like they changes you forever as a kid taking that Definitely changes you forever because you know like when traumatic things happening when your kid like you remember it forever. Yeah. So like wouldn't that be like this guy's This guy's massive trauma Probably floats dude I'm what I'm saying

He probably He probably walks on water He just shows up like this He's like hello Like I don't know You can see the story Okay so anyways So anyways

This guy's here And now just so we get We get the visual He's got paint on his face Right He painted his face He's got full You got this

I did I did In a tribe Yeah so he's like No you're back there He's fully down What did you do Oh listen listen He has beads

And he's got like a little Headdress thing. This is a real motherfucker. He had a headdress? I didn't tell you that thing. Yes. You skipped that part. I skipped that part. For sure. Skip that part. Well, this spot's better than fuck the other one. Okay. So listen, he's fully gowned up and he has a harmonica. Okay. I would have been tripped. Yes. I would have been tripping.

Listen. Bro, you didn't tell us any of this. Okay, because we got into it. But listen, he's got a harmonica. So he's like, this is what this guy's doing. Well, fuck, I got to, I got to take you guys through what it felt like, right? Anyway, so this guy's got a harmonica. He's like singing songs. He's like these like it's straight up it makes you higher that's the best way i could describe it these like types of little songs and like things that he's singing the harmonic with me bro on god on god yeah like the way he was singing this the way it was sounding was just like as soon as he would start it'd be like oh fuck it's like there's more there's more yeah oh shit so anyways i'll take you through it

i take this stuff it was that viscous liquid tasted like trash i take the first cup mine look like little three ounces right in a little white shot glass okay shot shot cup like little mini shot cup and I'm looking like oh that's it like it's not a lot so I'm laying there and I'm like I'm wearing like a hoodie a shirt and then like a tank top this will be important later on um I think later on later on any of this you know but I got better details this time because last time it was very just yeah so I'm laying there and I drink it and now before I drink this shit I'm like I'm trying to think okay what's my intention what do I want to get out of this what's important like

trying to organize my thoughts and I'm trying to go down that path because like I really wanted to get something from this and not just like be high right so I'm sitting there and I'm like thinking to myself when do you know when it's hitting like because that's so new right because I've taken mushrooms I know it like mushrooms kind of creep in you're like like like your vision kind of gets a little like narrow distort it and you're like okay that you start to experience like maybe the sun differently or like your vision on like trees like perception is changing yeah more saturated you're like like you're like like like saturated you're like like like So this isn't like that. This is like I'm laying there and I'm waiting for it to hit. Now about 35 minutes in. I'm like, huh, I'm like, I wonder what it starts to feel like. And I'm laying there and I feel this like warm go like under my whole like my whole posterior chain. Like from my top of my head all the way down to my heels. It was like this like warm feeling.

I'm laying there. I'm like, oh, it's hit. Oh, it's hit. Like we're starting. I feel like that's the scariest part of any come up on a drug. Yeah, yeah. That's like I'm not so nervous. I was only nervous because I hadn't I had I didn't know what to expect.

So on other things obviously I'm like okay I know what it's like the first time though specifically something like this where you hear like all this crazy shit and how intense it is and how serious it is. So wait as you're coming up is there music playing? Yeah like so he starts like he has like he had a besides the harmonica he had like a leaf thing that was like are you are you laying down outside I'm laying down. You're laying nowhere on the grass. I'm laying down yeah I'm laying outside outside oh okay so I'm laying down and

And so he's like, he's like, you know, he's chilling at first because he takes it too, takes a smaller round. He's like taking it too. But he's done this. It's not like, you know, he's not, oh my God, I'm tripping out. What's going on, bro? I feel that and I'm like, huh. And then like maybe like five minutes go by and I'm trying to figure what else do I feel? What else do I see, right?

So it felt similar to mushrooms when mushrooms kind of like, you know, if you look at the walls, it kind of little distortion. You look at your hand. You notice how like your hand's kind of like old, young, old, young. Like you kind of get kind of dialed into how many fucking little, you know, little tiny. You know what I'm saying? You're like, damn, I see every wrinkle in my hand. And it's like, am I old and my young? You can't decide, right?

But the crazy part about this was, if you guys could ever relate to taking mushrooms and looking at yourself in the mirror. Bro, I trip out. I never, I never do. Exactly. When I go to the bathroom, I go straight to the toilet pee and then get the fuck out. Exactly. You're like, you're like, your dick looks fucking weird. Anyways, I don't look at anything.

I just, I don't know about that. Yeah, bro, don't lie. Your dick is kind of like I haven't really tripped on trims and looked at my dick so it's just like You never peed on mushrooms? Yeah, what not that I remember okay whatever it doesn't matter I've taken acid and like touch my dick I'm gonna lie okay you like jerked it or I Just to see what happens did it get up? Yeah no I will really I would look you hard That's impressive but I let go of it though because like I just wanted to continue my shower Yeah okay anyways so normally you look in a mirror and you go like you go like you don't want to look

Because like you know the lights in the face it kind of distorts and like you kind of look weird to yourself. The weird thing about this was I'm getting the visuals from like the, you know, I'm looking at the walls and shit. I'm looking at like the trees and shit. They're distorting and they're moving. But I looked at his face and his face was crystal clear. Like he had no, there was no distortion in this guy's face. 8K or 4K? 4K. Like straight up like you can see the sweat like fucking. You see the pores on his skin. You straight up like. And yeah, it wasn't weird. I was like, okay, this is like looks clear. But anyways, then I'm thinking, okay, because I know this is a real like cerebral experience for the most part right so I'm in my mind I'm thinking like

okay what is what is what's happening to my mind and I start to realize and I told you guys this at the gym all your thoughts like started to my thoughts started to feel spaced out where like normally you have this traditional linear thought where you're like okay I'm going to the gym I'm going to do this workout that's what I'm going to train I'm going to talk to this person I say how like all the stuff you're doing in your very like conscious mind is like right here in front of you and you're doing this makes you think like okay right there i knew in front of me i know that i just took this stuff and i'm laying down but then i had all these other thoughts that were related to am i going to be okay what's going to happen all these my ideas and my stresses around my anxiety right and they

started to like space themselves out and they i best way i can describe it fucking biggest trip to me because i remember you telling me this yeah at the gym and you're like the way you were explaining it you were like so like fucking descriptive and passionate i was like this guy has literally taking this drug and completely transformed, I swear to God. Yeah, well, there's a lot coming. The next day. Yeah. But so anyways, I'm seeing these thoughts and like all these things felt like they just felt

more almost attainable, more like I could individually be like, okay, like I could wrap my mind around this because normally my mind kind of feels like a lot all at once. Like scatter. Scattered. Scatter brain. Can't think of one thing. Yeah. And then like something will pop in my mind.

I'll be like, fuck, I got to make sure that I do that. Then I do that. And then something else pops in while you're thinking of that. Exactly. So this made everything feel like very spaced. out in fluid where I was like oh I can like individually identify all these things and it was and it was okay anyways that didn't last for too long um I got to this point where I'm not I this is this this I'm just going to preface this it did get bad but it overall

it was such an amazing experience I want to say that first you say bad like how did you feel okay so I'm describe it so I'm sitting there and I'm looking at this guy and I look up and there so it's just like one point to the next. There was no real break. It felt, and this is nothing I want to say before I say this. There was a time just seemed to not exist, right? So this is the thing. This DMT is the thing that like you can smoke, whatever.

People all do all this crazy shit. But this is the thing that your body dumps a bunch into your like body when you're dying. So you're kind of unaware of certain things. So point is your unawareness to time. Like time is just out the window. You don't, I don't know if it's been 10 minutes or fucking the whole day. and you don't even care because like you know like when people die

they say that like DMT is released into the body into the brain and like they can relive every single like highlight and thought in their fucking entire life in like a matter of a few seconds wait I'm confused yeah I never knew that so when people smoke DMT pens

that's what's going on in their head well everything is so unique you can't say it's exactly what's happening it's going to be the same experience for everyone right yeah but for the most part like I'm just saying your your reference of time it just becomes like completely gone and it and it just you feel this like it just doesn't even matter like you don't

even worry that there's no time you don't even have a connection to the need of time it's a very weird thing next thing i know after this like you know that my thoughts are like that and i'm kind of chilling i'm like and there was at one point where i before this kind of went bad i walk outside and i'm thinking to myself i'm like looking like normal kind of mushroom feel where like you know i'm looking at like the ground looks like it's making all these faces kind of i'm looking at these trees and i'm like feel like i could talk to these trees in the back and i'm sitting there thinking like man why do we do this shit to ourselves like why do we make everything so difficult for ourselves i even wrote this thing which i should read it later um but anyways i wrote this

while i was high as fuck on uh i waska basically but it's you into fucking goddamn yeah so listen so listen i'm outside yeah no i did i just i wrote some like bar shit i was like oh this is dope when i read it and i was like well that made sense but anyways i'll try and read that i'm sitting outside this is before shit it's the fan and i'm like looking at these trees and i'm like damn and i'm like talking myself a little tear because i'm thinking about like holding on the shit and I but that's at but at that point I'm like this is really mild mild exactly I'm like this is when you were like saying that you like felt like I can do this exactly okay I'm like I can do this isn't a big deal and I'm like I'm chill

this isn't I'm like this isn't what people say it is like that's it yeah exactly I'm like that's it's it's not every day it's not that intense I'm like this is easy like this is all these pussy's are like it's so crazy don't do it bro because I was I'm not gonna lie I was I was getting my head because I tweeted and I put it on my story I'm like I'm gonna do it was like oh oh bro don't oh my god it's so are you sure oh that would freak me out that's the thing but that you told me i did afterwards after the trip that most of the people that replied to your story because you did post it on instagram that most of the people that replied to your story were the most successful people that were like you should do it the like like rich famous people were like

so did that help you then that did that did there was a point that where i kind of recounted at my mind and then the other people i would say overall less like super successful people are like be careful most people were like scary thoughts but going from the trip from mild to because I don't know yeah if I did that that would scare the shit out of me no I did it scared the fuck out of me because that was that was on my mind because like when I tell people I'm gonna smoke weed

and they say no no I know you you can't do it I'm like okay well I'm not gonna do it then yeah but see so this is this is the thing I learned this I'll get to this later like what I learn overall hope perfect you got it so anyways um so before shit hits the fan okay I'm sitting there thank you bro I'm sitting there and I go back inside and the guy's like, more. I'm like, yeah, this is easy. Of course I want more.

I'm like, I want to go further. Okay. I don't even know how I got here, right? So I get to a point where I take this and I'm chilling for, I don't know how long, maybe 20 minutes, 30 minutes, digesting. Next thing I know, I sit up and I'm thinking everything all at once. I'm stressed out about everything that I thought leading up to, like what would happen. am I going to go crazy all this stuff and I'm like oh this is it zero to 100 zero to 100 I was like I ruined myself and then my thoughts now just start

going like you know I said they were clear earlier these bitches are ping pong and like nonstop and I'm looking around and I'm like oh this is it I'm this I'm that guy that went crazy taking this drug and this is going to be my reality now and I'm like why did I do this how did I get here all these things and I'm looking at this guy like how did I get here and he's like you you wanted this what do you mean So I'm like tripping and my thoughts are just going just erratic at this point and it was very uncomfortable I'm not going to lie. Then I started to get like physical real physical anxiety because I tend to when I get actually anxious because I've like showed up to the ER many times like younger. I haven't been to the ER and you know fucking fucking knock on wood in like I'm not trying to show up to that bitch in like years at this point. But I used to go all the time because I'm like I'm going to die. I just had this this crazy idea that I was going to die and it's related to obviously stuff in my child and my. my dad taking his life and all this stuff but so now my mind's going crazy and I cannot stop it

like there is zero stopping remember I was talking last time this is a thing that basically the thoughts or the stresses or the struggles or the traumas the things that like maybe you've buried for fucking time in your life it literally makes all those things just like right here in your face and you cannot look away you can't escape you can't look away and it's like no matter how hard you like no matter how hard I tried to look away it was just like it was just like following it was just so apparent that you couldn't even like look away and I had even if you tried and I had to deal with it I was forced to deal with it and I'm not going to lie as as frightening and as scary as it was because so much of me was like yo I just want this shit to go down just a little bit because

it's too much and I don't like the way that I feel it didn't even stop it didn't stop but but I started to realize I was like this is but this is why I came this was the point the point was to get over that fear, the fear that I have about dying, the fear that I have about being worthy, being good enough. All my fears were culminating to like, because I got to a point where first thing that hit me was, I'm going to die, right? And I don't want to die. And am I going to take my life? My father took his life when he was this age and I'm this age. Am I going to take my life? I'm only a few years away from that. All these thoughts in my mind. And they're coming like that fast. And then I'm like, well, like, well, like, but then what's,

what is being alive? Like, am I dying now? Is this killing me now? Am I dying? And I'm thinking about this and I'm like I keep going down this thought and I'm like well I get to this point where I start to realize like because I'm going in so many circles that I'm like okay like the only way to relax myself is to start answering these questions what what happens if I die and if I die like then what was your answer to that what happens if I die yeah nothing like it was okay so this is the thing I want to get into the first thing I started to realize after this didn't happen in my trip I started to realize like yeah in the trip but then also like it got it got like affirmed after was like the idea of death for me has always scared me like I told you

and this was the only time in my life that I've ever been like huh it's okay it has to be okay because it's a thing that no matter how afraid we are of it I know this and this is the thing that I learn I know this you know this every single person listening to this knows this it is fucking inevitable you're going to die and I know that you know it's weird hold on the difference between knowing that and fucking feeling that two different things on this drug i felt it i was like i felt the idea to myself that i know that i'm going to die and at the same time that it was okay and i've never been able to just feel okay about it i would run from it i'd run from it i'd run from it i'd run from it i'd rationalize like why it's so do you think that the reason why that you always ran

from was because of your dad it's it's because of the unknown because i don't i don't know right so this is the thing i want i'm going to get into that more The thing that I started to realize was like, okay, but I'm not dead right now because I'm having these thoughts. So what is the point of living, right? That's the thing that I kept coming back to. And then I started to get really emotional. And I don't want to get emotional on this podcast.

I got really emotional because then I'm like, oh, fuck. I started to realize because you go like, okay, what's the point then of living? And what is living mean? And like, what's the purpose of it? Like then if I'm so afraid of dying, what's the purpose here now? Because I'm not dead. Right? And I'm like, I'm affirming this to myself.

And then I start to go, well, it's, it's love. And love is the most important thing, right? And because I know that, and I've always thought that. And then I think to myself, do I fully love myself? Have I fully loved myself? Do I allow love in my, and I start to realize, like, I haven't done that. Like for so long I haven't done that because I'm afraid of allowing someone to be too close to me in my life and then leaving my life. Because in relationship to my father, the idea of loss, losing, right?

So then I would like feel afraid to allow people fully. to my life in conversation in business and friendships and everything like allow them all the way in and then I realized I was like wait but if I'm so afraid of dying like the idea of not living in love and not living and allowing myself to love that's a version of death already like if you lived your whole life and you don't give love and you don't experience love and if you don't lose love aren't you already dead yeah what the fuck are you doing what the fuck yeah so I'm living exactly so I'm sitting there and I'm like okay who would miss me and I'm thinking about the people who would miss me or who would I miss? And so now I think about all the people in my life that I

truly love and I feel like truly love me instead of thinking about the people that I know don't love me that I know I've taken advantage of me because I had this moment where I'm like people take advantage of me and people just want money and people want cloud and all the shit because of like all the other experience that I'm dealing with in my life. All that shit is coming up. And then I'm like, but what about the people really love me? Right. So I'm sitting there and I'm like fucking crying to this guy. He's trying to, he's trying to calm me down like in Spanish and I swear I'm like understand everything he's saying at this point. Does he understand you. I have no idea, dude. He knows that I'm stressing. Maybe it's the drug that made you

think that you understand. Bro, I have no idea. That's pretty fucking well to me. Anyway, so you don't even, you don't speak Spanish and no, I actually kind of understand Spanish. Imagine he does genuine. Look, you know Spanish. All the girls I've ever dated all speak Spanish. So I kind of understand Spanish. Anyways, so I'm sitting there and I'm thinking like, okay, the people that I really love, right? I thought of Jacob. A lot of Steve. He's sitting back here. I thought of my mom. I thought of bam i thought of the people close in my life and then i'm thinking like well i don't tell those people i love them i don't let those people know how much i appreciate them because i'm afraid and then i'm like well because i'm afraid i'm not going to then live my life afraid of what when you are you

afraid to tell people you love them i don't so it's the idea it's the idea of like being too afraid to let someone know how much you appreciate them and this is the craziest thing that makes no sense right and this is what i started to realize to let someone know that you truly appreciate them because if you do, they're just going to leave you. They're just going to leave me. Not because I let them know that, but just because that's how people are and that's how I've been taught my whole life

that people just leave you, no matter how much you love them. Because the people that you've loved in the past. And people have left. And people who have taken advantage of me, people who have used me, people have done everything in their power to take, take, take, and then leave. And use me for their benefit and leave, right?

So my fear is like, it's protecting that. Like, I don't want to allow that. I don't want to allow to. But then I also realize, Now I'm not even doing that for the people that genuinely love And show me that they love me through their actions Show me that they love me through the work that they do You know what's crazy too is that I did say this one last podcast

But I got to bring it up again what because when we came back from zoo I knew Brad was a little bit different because holy fuck all of us did dude Dude me Nate so be we all walk up because we go to zoo every single morning we work right every day We pull up there and we meet up with Brad and we shoot shit right yeah we walk in and We're in the parking lot and Brad's sitting in the middle of the parking lot. Motherfuckers just on the phone. I don't even know what the fuck he was doing, dude. But we all walk in and we all kind of like, look each other to meet Nate and Chris.

And we're like, why does this motherfucker look weird? We're like, why does it look different? We all just start laughing. You had a glow. You had a glow to you. And like this motherfucker literally had a glow, bro. Like it was like a-ray halo. It was like a halo over your head.

It was so weird. The motherfucker was like glowing. The picture I took of you was fucking hilarious. Like Jesus. I might make it my avie on Instagram. That shit was crazy. That shit was crazy. I remember, like, after that, like, he went inside.

He was on the phone. He was talking on the phone. And usually he's, like, just not in the greatest mood when he's on the phone because it's like some bullshit, some bullshit negativity. Some business shit. But this dude is on the phone. And he's like, I don't know who he's on the phone with, but he was extremely positive. He was like, hey, man, I appreciate you so much.

Thank you so much. Like, I really appreciate you, man. And he goes outside. He's, like, walking, like, fucking got a little skin from his step. Yeah, you had a stretch to you. Straight up. I was like, what in the. the fuck is going on.

And I looked at Nate and Chris and I was like, this is not normal, bro. This is not normal. He was like, I'm kind of concerned. I think we just lost Bradley Martin. He's like,

he's still tripping, I think. Yeah, I was like, he's still shipping for sure. And then he pulls me outside. And he's like, dude, I got to, because he was telling the story

to everyone. Yeah. That was at the front of zoo, right? So all the coworkers. And he goes, Yo, I got to tell you something real quick. Pulls me outside.

And we start talking about, he starts talking about his whole ayahuasca trip, how great it was, blah blah blah and like then like this motherfucker tells me he loves me and i was like damn that's dope because like i've been working for so long and i appreciate that so much yeah because like because i would work so hard and then brad would just be like yeah yeah hell yeah dude dope good job yeah i remember but it was never like it was never like dude this is dope it was never like i did all those phone calls he would call me all the time when you guys were out in miami or

like traveling somewhere he would call me like yeah i made this hard-ass video but like i don't know like i don't think brad is it was just it was just a he'd be i don't think i don't think brad fucks with me so the fact that you sat there and told me that you love them is everything he's ever done for you had a meeting i was like damn well that's sick to to hear the appreciation you know it's the truth man it does like you said like the whole reason why you did it and like you you know you refused to love and like exiled everyone blah blah blah like yeah that just showed me in that moment i was like damn like maybe he maybe he does care about me you know changed he did change a little bit well it's the thing is i the thing about it is i know that i always have

I've always appreciated that I've always appreciated you because you were never someone that came in and just like just you never appeared to me as something you were just taking because most people I noticed after while I'm like oh they're just coming in trying to take take take take and then they fucking dip and they're trying to use the benefit on their own somewhere else right you never gave me that vibe it was my problem to not be able to say yo I appreciate you though because like Steve same thing like I can't tell you how many times I told Steve I love on like probably all on one in fucking hand I've known him for like fucking eight years yeah so the same thing I told the night before, before I came in to talk to you, I told Steve, I was like, bro, I just want to let you know, like, I fucking, I'd love you, like genuinely. And it's, it's just, it was in a practice for me because, like I said, the fear that, like, the more that I give, I just felt like someone's going to run away. But then I started to realize that's not living. That's not me being alive. That's not me enjoying my life.

Do you think that if you never did this drug, you would ever have realized that? I, that's the thing. And that's the thing I keep going back to. I have, I've known that, right? This is the, this is the thing about. this drug this medicine i want to call it this is the thing that i'm really really understanding and to be fair i want you guys understand this stuff has been around for thousands and thousands of years it's not some like hippie shit that some motherfucker in venice made i joke about that

but like cultures have been using this kind of stuff forever and this has for like a variety of things tons of different reasons all this kind of shit and it's good for you health wise too so it's just like it became this it's taboo because it's not you know an ssr i from a fucking doctor and they're giving you a pill to rely on for the rest of your life and make money off of it it's different but these things are actually and they and they have they've have even shown like so many studies that like this shit is so beneficial to people even mushrooms and all this shit now are finally getting kind of okay because maybe they're probably going to be able to put their hand and it makes some fucking money but they're starting to allow these things to actually treat

anxiety and depression all these things that are because you also understand this too all drugs pharmaceuticals that we know are also just derivative of plants and extracts and they're just made a different way to like become this pharmaceutical but it comes from plants all this shit comes from plants so anyways the reason why like to answer your question it's the difference between knowing something like i said and feeling it and this was the only time that i was able to like with those thoughts and the the the haywireness of the thoughts i also i felt everything like if i was afraid and it wasn't just like here in my mind it was very physical yeah so that's a thing too like when you say that you know how people say like oh they're like i know i know i'm gonna be successful

I know I'm going to have X amount of money or I felt this way when I was young Yeah, right? Yeah. But do you think there's a difference between knowing it and feeling it and what are the differences Okay, so this is the same thing when we talk about intention and you talk about intention a lot you guys joking whatever and shit about him But my whole life remember we talked about last time I always felt like that I always felt like Yo, I'm going to do more than this. I always knew it. I didn't know what the fuck it was I just I was like talking to people and I would tell people like I got enough phone with my buddy the other day, my buddy Ryan, we used to train when I was like 16, 17, and I would always tell I'm like, bro, I'm going to do this. Like, I know that I, before, this was when I was 1617. Was that like a feeling or was it more like a, like a mental kind of thing? You're just like,

it was a fucking feeling. It was because, like, you can't really explain it, right? Yes, because there was no direction. When I was 16 years old, there was no Instagram. There was no one doing fucking YouTube. There was nothing, nothing that I do today existed. Yeah. Right. Except maybe people want to talk shows on the, on, on like, TV, right? So there was no, like, direction. It was just this thing in me that I would tell people and I would tell people and I believe so truthfully, like in my heart, like in my body, I felt it that like there's more, I'm going to do this, I'm going to own a gym, I'm going to be great. Because that's what it seems like whenever like we go to do podcasts with successful people

or, you know, if I had taken some time and watch some podcasts of like some celebrity or an interview or something, they always say the same thing as like when they were a kid. You just get, you really can't explain. It's like a feeling that you get that you know deep down inside that like you might do something great or you know that you're going to do something great. You can't explain it. Yeah. I don't know if it's a feeling or a thought

or maybe it's a combination of both but every single time it's weird dude because like everyone everyone that I know that is successful everyone that you see on TV most of them have said that has had that feeling and I want to talk about this too because a lot of people might hear this and be like

well I don't have that feeling right I don't know that feeling right and I think the thing that's really important I think most people who get to that point or to have that feeling there's something else in their life that's some sort of trigger like there's some sort of either trauma

or some sort of like issue going on in their life that makes them stop and think because for me it was like when I'd walk to school and I'd walk through the cut you know everyone like people would smoke weed and shit like before you go to school I don't if they call that shit back with the cut you're from the bay you're from the bay that's where I'm from

it's not a gang member thing dude you're saying it's not a gang member joke no we just call little Mexico no but you know what I'm saying like did they use that slang we wouldn't call it the cut like they would call it the rails the rails no I see and see me yes but in the bay No, we just had little spots like we'd go to the aqueducts because whatever. Fuck the aqueducts

all this anyways the point is this sorry I'm walking no you're good I'm walking to school I would walk to school and I would like sit in like where everyone would smoke in the cut right and so people weren't there wasn't like teachers and shit were there was like away from school but far enough that like you could chill and I'd like walk through this and I'd like sit there like in the morning by myself and just fucking cry right I would cry about my life I'd cry about my circumstance I cry about my dad I cry about what is this what's the purpose like I was so obsessed with trying to figure out what the purpose of life was and why like why am i here why is my dad not here why do these other kids have dads how come my life is this way all these questions and i question this

shit so much every day every single day that i'm trying to figure something out that technically you can't really just go here's the answer right so i spent so much time trying to figure this shit out that i think all people who end up coming to that point where they're like yo i just know something's different there's something that like happened that i think like or some people are just built like that they just believe there can be more what taking the time out of the day in whatever traumas or experiences that you have throughout your life and being like you know what I'm going to do this thing because of your circumstances and because of the things that you've experienced in your life and so here's what it comes down to being able to be vulnerable yeah

being able to be vulnerable not necessarily with other people but with yourself so not enough people are able to be vulnerable with themselves because it's scary because it's uncomfortable because it doesn't feel good like being able to go like okay this happened to me how does this make me feel instead of just like fuck you this this is your fault the outward push it away it's your fault it's not the scariest thing is just like really like looking in yourself addressing yourself and like looking at the things and address like you said addressing it and being like okay well this is what it is this is like through my experiences i i think that everyone's a piece of shit because of this experience yeah and then trying to unpack that shit exactly and like trying to learn

from it so not everyone's willing to put in the work to do it exactly so that's what's so powerful about this is like you don't just take this drug and then you just go you're cured But what I said earlier, which is so significant about it, is you take this. And like I said, the most important thing that happened in this whole experience for me was the fact that all my problems were put right in front of my face and I couldn't look away and I had to deal with it. And I had to ask myself the questions, every question around it. And I didn't have a choice to look away.

And that's what this comes down to is like, you're supposed to be afraid of that. That's not supposed to be easy. Same reason why people go to therapy for years is because they're trying to be able to be comfortable with going through their problems and they just have someone else and they're leading them through it and then they're trying to figure it out and make sense of it

and figure it out and make sense of it. This shit literally is like it's like a crash course where it's like here it is motherfucker so you gotta figure this out. Deal with it. And bro being forced to deal with things sometimes is the fucking way.

Like I'm not saying it's a way for everyone. I'm not saying everyone's ready for this. I'm scared of it. But and that's okay and I was afraid of it. But if you feel like yo I've tried to have these conversations I've tried to have this therapy

I've tried to do this. I've tried to do this. I've tried all these. these things, this shit will literally slap you in a face with it and you'll put it right here. So do you think that like taking the drug is basically mentally, physically, spiritually like showing you to be uncomfortable? It shows you your true self. Yeah. Because that's uncomfortable as fuck. Exactly for a lot of people. Depending on what you have built up around your ego and how you should be or people should treat you or how you should show up and people should accept you. And

it's all based around this shit. Speaking on that, like the comfortability thing is like probably one of my biggest fears in life is being comfortable being comfortable being too comfortable being too comfortable well that's how you know that you're not doing enough you feel like it's like because i remember at one time in my life i was just like so comfortable and being held back by other things and blaming other people for the reason why i wasn't where i was at yeah and like i just got fed up with being comfortable because it somebody's not right if you're if you're comfortable yeah like if you're comfortable, I feel like you got to like put yourself and give yourself a reason to be uncomfortable, right? Yeah. Because if you don't put yourself in uncomfortable positions,

like you said, you don't know, what is it? You said you don't know good unless there's bad. Yeah, like I was saying last time we did this, I mean, that's the truth, man. Like, in general and all, it's like, if I can't experience like terrible things in my life or amazing things in my life, but vice versa, you don't know the difference. So everyone is so trying to pick the middle trying well people are so trying to feel good everyone wants to feel good right that's our goal humans want to feel good i want to feel accepted i want to feel love i want to feel good everyone wants that we're all searching for that whether be too like trying to make money or trying to like have a business and all these representations that are external and that are showing us oh that

guy is success and that guy's great and that guy's fucking successful he's a good guy whatever not everyone's willing and okay with being in a negative mindset or being in a yeah well it's not that you have to be in it it's but it's how it's that you do have to go through it yeah like you have to know that it's not always going to be sunshine rainbows you have to know that it is going to be fucking difficult you have to know that like you're going to cry you're going to feel bad and accept it that's the difference because people we're so like outwardly living our lives now through social media all stuff where it's like you're looking at examples and you're like you're looking like why don't I have this and why don't I have that people don't look look inside

they're not contemplating themselves to go through the issues to go through their problems and they expect things to be good because they look at that guy's life and they go that guy's he's my agent he has this car and he has this house and he has it figured out and it's like first of all that has fucking zero to do with you absolutely nothing to do with you what's going on inside here that's how you get there so people are so afraid to deal with the negative shit yes exactly what do you think that if you could give advice to some kids out there that are in that negative mindset and they can't get out of it right stay in it a little longer that's the thing but like some kids resort to just being like I'm gonna I'm gonna off myself I can't even deal with this

okay so you're in such a deep dark place like so okay if we're talking about that do and give kids advice to be like you know what like how do I get myself out of this shit so I bet you're talking about suicide I've been there I've thought of this so I can relate to this here's the deal right number one thing to do is to realize and it's going to sound stupid because right the way kids are going to be like oh yeah i know that there is always more right if you're breathing you have the ability to change your circumstances as difficult as it feels as tough as it feels it's hard to do this but like we're saying the minute that you could start to realize that all this negative shit that i'm going through in my life all these problems in my life all this

shit that makes me feel like i'm not good enough that girl doesn't love me my father left me no one cares about me all these thoughts all this shit is energy yeah even though it's all perceived bad it's all negative it all hurts your heart it makes you want to cry makes you want to quit it makes you want to say fuck this life fuck that i wish i had this i should have that that that guy fuck him he doesn't know he's talking about all this shit take that energy keep taking it stay in it longer and accept it now once you can accept that okay this is where i'm at this is what's going on in my life i feel like shit i want to end my maybe you've contemplated you thought about ways of doing it right step away from all the things you thought were important the things you thought you should do

someone said you should do take some time away from all the things like give yourself a week because if you're at that point you're going to end your life fuck work fuck school fuck all this shit fuck yourself fuck everything walk away from everything and everyone and just spend time with yourself yeah and ask yourself genuinely like is that really gonna make it better ending it just because you think you want to it's i've had enough how and this is the thing it's like with kids right or younger adults like how do you even know you've had enough like you don't even know you're bandwidth yet like we were talking we were talking after this is a this is a sidetrack but after even just for example sylvia you could relate to this after the whole black month the uh the black

friday month shit right you doing all this extra work you're like yo i didn't even realize how much i was capable of yeah workload until i was forced to do it right we don't even realize how capable we are until we fucking go through it. So you can't be in it and say, I'm ending this shit. You have to keep going. You don't have to keep doing all this shit. Take a break and fucking walk away. But then sit there and ask yourself, like, is it really worth it? Because I was sometimes in my head, because I've already experienced like the positive and the negatives, like my lows and highs in life, sometimes I wish that bad things would happen in order for me to grow from them. Yeah. And be more.

wiser or be a more positive person. This is what it is. And it's like really fucked up. You would be like, you would think like everyone wants their life to be always be fucking sunshines and rainbows. But you're not. It's not supposed to.

Let's not go back to what we were just saying is like everything in my life that I have. The fact that I could sit here and give you any of this perspective about suicide, about loss of my, my father and how I related to that and how it's affected all my relationships, how it's made me like at points of very cold individual where I'm not able to give love, where I feel like I've fucked up all my relationships. I've ousted people out of my life that I should have kept in my life. I've done all the negative shit you can think of.

I would not have dick to say. I wouldn't have shit to say. None of this would mean anything if I didn't go through that. So everything good in my life I have, all the good, all the love, all the appreciation, all the people who said, yo, when you talked about this, I appreciate it. All the people who told me like, yo, I didn't kill myself because I watched this and I saw that you could do it. And if you could do it, you made me feel like I could do it. All those people, all those interactions, bro, it's thousands.

There's people. There's a dude that I talk about a few times that this guy was like going to take pills. And now he has a daughter and he says thank you every year. His daughter's birthday. And he sends me pictures over like I have a guy. We met him at the at the expost. Yeah. Like this guy, he would have been dead.

And he's daughter and his daughter as a father. So all these things that I get to experience is because I experience absolute fucking negative bullshit where I didn't like my life. I didn't want to be alive. I was unhappy with everything in my life. I was unhappy with my circumstances in my life. But that's the only reason why I could say shit. That's the only reason why I have anything good to give in this world.

That's why I have all the success that I have to be genuine. Because when I sat in those lines of those expos and I talked to people, no one was like, yo, bro, I fucking bought this shit because they're wearing all my clothes, all the being fit here before it was ragged here. No one was like, I bought this because you jumped out of the pool.

It was so sick, dude. Yeah, I feel like no one. The guy was like, bro, I love you because you talked about this. You made me look at like this.

When you talked about your father, you made me want to connect with my dad more. You made me not want to kill them. All this shit. Because then you see a lot of these influencers online. Like, I feel like everyone's doing the same shit because they see, that everyone is doing it

and being successful at it but I think the true way to actually be successful is being genuine right and no one's being genuine anymore besides a lot of the people like you because like that's the main reason why they're buying your shit

is because you're genuine not because of the pool jumping shit because you're not copying everybody's trends and doing what that person's doing because you're just doing what you do because of everything you've been through exactly and so then what it comes down to right so me I feel like I have a responsibility

to myself to be a better version of myself and to continue to like try to encourage people to be better versions of themselves like straight up that's why i'm so afraid of this shit but i'm like but i need it i need it from myself because i need to evolve in my life maybe i can give some perspective to someone watching this shit like all the success i said literally in my life i have is because of the negative shit so there is no we go back to that concept there is no good without bad you would never like imagine if everything in your life was perfect you wouldn't even know what it was you wouldn't know that it's perfect you wouldn't be able to like sit and fucking well you wouldn't know i mean bro you wouldn't even know

funny thing not even just that it would mean nothing you got to understand this if i if you woke up every day and it was just perfect every day imagine this you would not know what perfect is it would become no there's no experience in that you would not that's not living that is not being alive like every day was the same thing bro that's not being alive you're you're in a fucking program so then what if it's like well all you know is negative the only negative then it's time like i said you got to sit in that shit's crazy yes i mean it's harder to get out of two that is it's supposed me let me i'm gonna read this thing now this has to do with this this is the thing i wrote when i was on iowasca how were you even able to write yeah bro first and foremost let me tell you i'm i got a pen in

my hand i swear to god i'm writing i'm like this and i'm thinking like i don't even know if i'm gonna be able to read this later that's that's how fucking crazy i've tried i've taken shumes like on my birthday and i've tried to write some shit down like i wanted to make a video treatment for a music video i'm like i have hell idea right now i'm like writing shit down i'm like i'm like writing numbers and shit i'm like this doesn't make any type of sense they know about drugs and shit i don't know any about that so that's why i'm like learning from you is talking but like i don't know we talk about the craziest drug trips you ever had i mean this is it that's the highest one this is the craziest drug i've ever taken my life most horrible one well we are doing that

that was the fucking story was summer and fucking taking the fucking edibles what about you what's your craziest drug story sorry mom sorry dad um i know for a fact that i did blow up a male stripper's dick okay that's pretty crazy okay sylby's parents i know for a fact you're going to watch this I'm not going to lie there's this thing called escape it's a music festival EDM EDM music festival but we took I think Molly or XTC or something I'm never taking any of that and me and my friend are like always feeling the same me and him were fucking on one all of a sudden I start hallucinating it really bad I'm looking at the lineup it has like a whole snake around it I think it's moving nice and I was

like holy fuck I put my phone away I can't do this right now don't look at the phone yeah not good and then we went to see this guy I mean, you probably know who he is, but I'm sure a lot of people know, excision. And it's crazy. Absolutely, like, I hate that kind of music. The fuck is excision. Don't worry about it. I hate that kind of music.

It's literally like, the house. No, no, it's hard dubstep. Like, okay, dov dov, do a lot of people love that stuff. I don't know. Like, we wanted to go for the experience, I think. Just because he's biggest fuck, he's like the biggest of that genre. But continue. And I'll play a song.

And. Oh, that's fucking. And I'm looking at Nate And his jaw is like deformed I'm like I'm tripping Nice because I was just rolling so you were on mushroom No no no no no no no I was on Mali or Ecstasy we took something

And like I'm tripping tripping You saw his jaw like his jaw like his jaw look like it was Fucking dinosaur bro So you weren't just on Mali or ecstasy No I don't know what the fuck it was but bro And then this music was in the background It was just 10 times worse Yeah yeah I remember you

Nate had this like The bait mask It had like a jaw Like you know what I'm talking about The ones that we had The pink The pink dolphin ones Had like a little face on it

With like teeth But he had it under here And I am fucking going Crazy I tell my friend I'm like I need to get out of here It was we were only in there For like 10 minutes

And I'm fucking like I had to leave Whatever blah blah blah You think it's in there No but this is It was just it was different And then I went to go see 21 Savage And I was fine

On the same experience Yeah Oh, wow. Must it kind of peaked and came down a little bit. You do a son of a bad. All right, hold on. Let me read this real quick. Anybody who drives around with that song is definitely sucks.

Fuck it. So let me read this real quick before we get into the rest of this. So I wrote this high on passage. Like literally, this is a passage. This is Bradley Martin 3-2. It felt like an Instagram caption that I would write, to be honest. Let's hear it. So it's crazy.

Wow. Listen. Okay. We hold on to so much. we don't allow ourselves to heal why why do we do it all to ourselves i think it's because it's easier this way to stop ourselves from going deeper into ourselves flips the page yes pain and i felt like i had to flip the page because when i was writing i felt like i couldn't write more for some reason on this page anyways pain shouldn't stop us pain should allow us to move forward

because pain means you felt holy shit that was a poem yeah that was crazy you got bars I write for Drake sometimes anyways the point is this can you do some for me this is the thing that I realized right was like the whole like we're talking about this the whole point of everything in life is to experience pain is to experience love is to experience loss all of this is supposed to happen so when you talk about the kid who's talking about ending his life he's stuck in a moment where he thinks there's nothing else so he's willing to end his life like my dad was probably stuck in a moment where he feels like this is it but there is always so so much more.

Yeah. It's, it's just, it's just how much longer can you sustain? Are you willing, yeah, are you willing to go through it?

And it's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be extremely fucking excruciated. It's supposed to be extremely hard. But if you get through that, imagine how much more now you have for the rest of the world, for the people in your life.

Fuck, like you don't need to be social media famous, none of this shit, just for people in your circle to have conversations with. Yeah. Because like these are, I would have these kind of conversations,

like I was talking about my boy Ryan earlier way before the fucking internet I would have conversations like this. before I even had all this life experience, people fucking me over, me getting all this kind of shit, right? And I just keep being reminded that this is what it is. This is what this human experience is, is to experience pain, it's to experience love. It's, and it's to go through it.

That's what I always give up. You can't just give up. That's it. I always thought that since I was a kid was like life is just one giant experience. Like, and I remember like one of my New Year's resolutions because me and Nate would write down, me and Nate and Sylvie would write down like New Year's resolutions every year. and one of them was to experience as many things as I could in one year. That's dope.

Just as many as I could because I feel like that's the only thing that I can do. And that was like the same year you like started to do your video stuff, right? Yeah. So let's talk about that real quick. So just before we get into more of this podcast, I got to say, so Jacob's worked for me the longest. And then he brought Sylvie and then Nate came. These guys, though, have known each other since they were like fucking high school. When I first moved to Simi Valley, that's where whenever I moved here,

I just always was friends with everybody And I just became friends with his girlfriend at the time And then I became friends with him Close friends at least Because I knew him before that And then I was friends with you're doing like eighth graders Yeah I'm just glad you motherfuckers know how to work hard

Because actually we knew each other since middle school It was sucked to fire you guys Because Jacob got you on you know You guys are hard workers I don't think we'd ever that ever be a problem No you guys are solid I feel like I was afraid at first I'm not gonna lie

That's the thing that people that you surround yourself Whether it's super important I think Jacob's really good with that type of shit Yeah I've already noticed that Jacob's If Jacob likes you, it's for a reason. Like, that's it. Jacob's fucking circle is like this. Yeah.

So let's talk about how it came about, right? Because a lot of people like, oh, I want to work for Brad or whatever, want to work for Rocky or whatever, right? Talk about how it came about how you got the job and then how like you brought them on. Yeah. So basically what happened was we'll take it back like two years ago, I guess. Because it sounds like they were kind of a part about you even not getting the job, but like, putting yourself in the position to get the job well yeah to even get the opportunity or you know to even get the job so when i was in high school uh i didn't really know them and i remember when they

first started when i first met them it was like sophomore year of high school i barely had even really picked up a camera the only thing that i had ever filmed was like small skits and just like filming stupid halo reach videos when i was a kid that's because that's all i just wanted to do it because i thought it was fun and it was just fun to entertain other people and i met them in high school like sophomore year because of some girl that I talked to that's held on really quick best halo of all time well two two two that's when you get the though SMGs yeah that went a little reach good halo reach is good but like size if you like reach if that's your favorite one but like oh gee halo halo halo two and three what that's the debate yeah I'm saying halo two

but yeah go ahead i like halo three but uh regardless of that uh I talked to this girl for like five years and it basically brought me and them together because they were friends and And it was crazy too because like I didn't really have very much experience holding a camera. This is the girl I took a picture with that 24 hour fitness once. Yeah, exactly. And so I didn't really have much experience. I didn't have any experience actually at all holding a camera or editing or doing anything. And I remember they were in video production and I wasn't in the same class as them.

And they were making like super sick short films. They made like one of them. At the time. At the time for like high school kids. Don't be hated on shit, fool. Watch your old YouTube videos. It's talking about fucking trash videos. Yo, that's because they just used to fucking get clips and put them together.

Guess what? We didn't do that. We tried. Yeah, yeah. No, I know. I admired that. Like, I was like, damn, well, this is really dope. I've always wanted to make short films and shit because I barely even really watched anything to really gain inspiration from.

But they would do that, blah, blah, blah. And it was towards more like sophomore year that I, like, decided to pick up a camera and just start making YouTube videos because I was like, damn, well, this is dope. Yeah. This is super fun to me. And we would all hang out and just go shoot YouTube videos. At the end of sophomore year, I got broken up. with and I was so obsessed with like trying to put an effort into relationship and putting energy and all this shit into this relationship that I would how many years you together at that point

five years okay it was like five years okay wait sophomore year of college senior year you know senior year of high school so like going into like going into college it's like when we I got broken up with and because why just comfortability got it and so that's the reason why you didn't get broken up with you are the breaker upper no no no anyway I'm confused I got broken up with right so i was putting in so much time and energy and effort into like relationships and trying to like make shit work and i was it was like the only thing that i knew how to do and i knew that i wanted to do this type of work i knew that i wanted to do creative work i know i wanted to be like a YouTuber or be an editor or anything in that realm yeah and i just never put

the time and effort because i was trying to focus it on other things like relationships yeah into this girl that's all he did that's all i wanted to do i didn't even fucking hang out with him at all and like i saw them like living the life that i just want to make before we can continue you're going to continue but I want to just listen to that point really quick what you were focusing on was that that girl right the relationship okay good girl right and I didn't know that I was being held back right and I was just like well shit it didn't it didn't hit me until after the fact that the relationship was over yeah and I was like damn well I want this girl so bad I want to chase this girl so bad because I just I that's the only thing you knew that's the only thing

you knew that's all I knew and so like I didn't really realize that I was not putting an effort and energy into the things that I actually really, truly wanted to do. Remember that. I was being blindsided. Fast forward another year. I didn't really know what I was going to do with my life. I was working at a gym at 24-hour fitness. And I hadn't picked up the camera.

I was so depressed and down bad for like a year and a half about that relationship that I didn't even know what to do. I was making YouTube videos with them. And they both helped me like kind of come out of like my super down depression state. And if it wasn't for them, because Nate would go out and shoot during COVID. So this is around like COVID time. Yeah. And everyone was staying inside. And Nate was always going out to shoot music videos.

Yeah. Right. And like, but he would always drag me out the house and be like, dude, let's fucking go film some shit. Yeah. Even if we weren't getting paid, like the first half of COVID, I was getting paid shit. Like I wanted to get paid, but I knew that's just not how it works. And like, I remember I would try to make Sylvie come help me because I just wanted to help. And I wanted my friends around.

I wanted them to have content too. Did you shave that before the podcast? Yeah. Why I'm just curious. I just realized it right now. I was like, why? No, I'm just saying you like, yeah, it's dope. Well, I was all fucking hairy. You didn't tell we were doing a podcast today. No, solid. That's good. We just on the fly. Sorry. Whatever. What the fuck? I lost my train of fire. So during COVID, you were going out to work. You've got Sylvie to go with you. Yeah. And then, it was a pain of the ass. But like, I wanted my homies with me always. Even if we weren't getting paid. Like, it was just like, I knew that it would benefit us in the future. Even if, like, like I said, we weren't getting paid. And like, I would have to like beg them to come. happen with me during COVID no all gyms are closed besides yours obviously but yeah that's too far for us and we weren't able to afford that yet we're working out in his garage every day and I was like yo I got this paid for us tonight like come with me please I'll drive I'll drive us there just come with me I didn't even care to go because I was so depressed and after this after this relationship

right his parents a little bit older so he wanted to stay home to make sure that he didn't get sick because of his parents and you know they didn't let me go out and they didn't let him go out either damn that's tough understandable so like I was sending it out to fucking COVID all the fucking time and like during COVID all the time and like shooting music videos in the studios with like certain artists and shit like that you were working during COVID no matter what

no matter what you wanted them bring them apart I had to like fight my parents about it but like it you know what they didn't even give a fuck dude you would just go out and just shoot his shit I didn't give a fuck either yeah but that's how it had to happen though like you weren't going to make shit happen if you didn't give a fuck and I was out

I was in L.A. No traffic because of COVID in 30 minutes. That shit was amazing it was a crazy time it was a great time but like I said I I wasn't making any type of money until like, you know, I just fucking grinded it out. Granted it out. There's at one point I wanted to quit because, like, it was just like, I'm not making any money. How am I supposed to fucking sustain and like live?

Like I was still paying right even though I was living with my mom. But like it wasn't a crazy amount, but I still wasn't able to afford that crazy amount. I still had insurance to pay and all that shit. But it was just like me pushing through all that and like showing them that like it was possible. Because I remember at one point he wanted to quit. Yeah. So what happened was that Nate, I saw Nate like, you know, really going out. and making an effort to make well because when we were in middle school or when we were in high

school we all talked about how we wanted to do like shoot videos like that was like what we wanted to do yeah and since i was a kid it was like well damn if i remember watching like shane dawson yeah like 2007 i was like seven years old dude wow that was like some of the first youtube videos i ever watched in my life and i was like well damn like if this guy's doing it why can i do it right and like you know youtube started coming up and then there was actually like youtube celebrities i watched you and like a bunch of other people yeah and i was like well shit like throughout high school i was like well if i if they can do it then i can do it yeah you know and so i picked up the camera and from there it was just like i decided to just go full force i talked to another girl

she fucked me over and after that i was just like dude fuck everything fuck everyone like i don't care about anything except myself that's exactly what i did yeah and i was like i like resented everybody i didn't give a single fuck about anyone and the only people that i cared about was my friends and my family and that was the only thing that I cared about and I remember just being so down and depressed I didn't I didn't know anything else other than to just write down what I wanted yeah and it was manifesting shit so I would write down everything that I wanted here's the thing I really want to make known before we keep going on this this this this journey for you guys and for you specifically that I was saying earlier about listen to what he was saying about what he was focusing on and how he was then what he was getting right focusing on the girl got the heartbreak focused and then he switches focus the thing that that I'm even talking about even if I'm referencing this ayahuasca stuff forcing remember the thing forced me to look at the things I needed to look at inside myself right this is the thing that's really significant and you said it with no ayahuasca yeah you just got to a point where you're like oh fuck like I forced to deal with it you're forced to deal yeah it was like life so

and I was like damn well like and this is the thing and it's the point the point I'm trying to make is this is like that is such an essential part of life like being forced to look at something and then understanding where you focus your energy you're going to end up yeah you're going to be you're going to go towards you're going to grow so the minute you were like you realize you were focused on this and it fucked you not that it's a terrible thing because like you can't guarantee those things not fucking you because that's a part of life right just an experience and it's another person like you can't control another person can't make them be the way you want to be but you go once you were able to realize oh wait my focus was here i needed to shift it here and then

once you did that now you started growing you started getting better so the same thing we talk about the kids who wanted to kill himself all this stuff is like it's just that finite focus of where you're at right here but like it can change it you just have to do it you get to stick through it and that's and like i was re like i was saying it earlier when he almost quit if he didn't if i didn't push him and if he didn't push himself to like that that feeling of like i should just give up because i'm not making enough money and i'm not able to like live on my own he would never be where he's at right now and you have to get back to like yeah i guess you got to get to that point up and killing yourself whenever you feel like it you know there's no point of living anymore

yeah it's about pushing yourself and he pushed himself and that's the reason why he's here right now or just straight up bro kill that old version of yourself yeah i just got kill it all i just got completely and that's it you go fuck this shit fuck feeling like this that's that's i remember the same exact thing man when i got broken up with the chick and i like and i was trying to do everything to change for this chick i'm doing all this crazy shit like getting rid of clients getting all these people in my life because she was like well you're fucking that person you're doing this and you're and i was like oh no more that's gone what you're talking about now that she's All this shit's gone.

She was saying all this shit to me. And I'm changing everything to be like, no, I love you and I want you, right? Yeah. Which is, to me, looking back, it was just a terrible form of attachment. It wasn't true love. She's true love doesn't, you don't change your entire life to make someone love you, right? That's not true love. Let's make sure that's known.

But I changed everything. And then she still was like, no, this is like, I think the last thing she said I had a client who was a dude, like this gay dude that I would train in Hollywood. She's like, no, you're fucking your gay client. I was like, what are you talking about? Like, I remember being so distraught calling my mom and telling her this story. And she's like, what the fuck? And I'm like crying and crying.

And then I snapped one day and I was like, fuck everyone, fuck everything. I don't give a fuck about no one. Fuck bitches. All I'm doing, I'm taking advantage of everyone and everything because I felt so taking advantage of and so hurt. And it did a lot of good for me. But it also like for years I treated people like that. But doing it like that, though, adds a lot of negative to that.

It did. It did. Because, bro, I met like soon after I met a girl that I dated for eight years and completely fuck that relationship, but from the very beginning all throughout because of my inability to like allow someone in because I was so hurt and I was so pressing everyone out and I was like I got a business money and do this and I got a lot from that but then now it's like bro 10 years later 11 years later for me and I'm looking back and I and I talked about this on the tape podcast I talked about this before another podcast I'm looking back and I'm like fuck like I said this

ayahuasca stuff even is like to this point where I'm like I need to develop this different aspect of my life that's not just like business and like achieving shit right I need to develop this like interpersonal thing that I'm so afraid to because of my fear of not being good enough or my fear of losing someone that I love or someone that I put myself into like my pour myself into in that way. So I'm going back now in my life and going through that. And I'd encourage everybody, you know, focus on what you want to do, focus on like, you know, being a social media person, whatever the fuck you want to do. Like focus on it. But don't, don't like just go 100% and forget to look left and right and go, okay. Am I developing like, like my ability

to hold inner personal relationships or am I just trying to fucking be popular on the internet? That's how that's what I did. That's the thing. And like in order to get to where I need to be now was that you block everything. Like I said like I was like fed up with everything and everyone and I just wanted to be selfish and do exactly what I wanted to do.

Yeah. And that's exactly what I did. It could work. And I wrote it down and I was like I was in such a negative mindset. And I would just write down whatever the fuck I felt and then decided to you know slowly transform into more positive things. And I was like, okay. Well like I'm positive.

I can I can become like the greatest videographer in the world I can become the greatest content creator in the world all this shit and I still do it to this day but the thing is with that there's sacrifices in order to be great right yeah of course and I'm 23 yeah we're all young like we're young you're 10 years fucking older than us so like you've got more life experience but I feel like basically what you're saying is that you sacrifice a lot of things in order to be successful and now you're dealing with it later on if there was one thing that you could go back because this is honestly advice more for myself yeah but everyone because i feel like i'm so in

this realm of wanting to be successful and knowing that i need to be successful and do something great because that's what i've always felt since i was a kid that i need to block everything out i need to block love i need to block relationships i need it's like everything is like i'm so i'm i feel like i'm being so selfish in order to get to where i need to be and be great that i'm sacrificing a lot of other things sometimes you have to be so because you're a successful person right you're 32 you're 10 years older than me you've got a lot more like life experience than I do like if you could go back and change something in order to yeah to learn from that and like also live like a healthy fucking life because like here's a deal here's the thing

i would never change anything yeah i would never do that and i and i would i would i would now just never even think like that but i will tell you what i've learned right so i wouldn't say go back and change this and live my life this way i will tell you for without a fucking doubt in my mind that sometimes it's needed but at the same time you do have to be willing to slow down because everything is so unique right the way that you process things is completely different than him and him every other person right it's never no one's exactly the same right so your ability to slow down and go like okay I'm doing this I'm focused on like becoming this or becoming that right and your ability to like take inventory of yourself and

like this other aspect of your life, let's call it like not business. We'll call it friendships and friendship building. This one will call it intimate relationships, right? There's all these other aspects of your life. I can't tell you exactly your relationship to all those things. But I will say that if I could tell my younger self, yo, be aware of this because it's going to bite you in the ass later or like it could be a problem. Because ultimately it's, I can't say, oh, it's a problem. It should be different. It is just my life. And otherwise I wouldn't be able to share it with you and the people listening. So I would tell my younger self, that make more mistakes in this path like you're maybe going to fuck some more shit up but

be willing sometimes to slow down and stop and just look around and be willing to be vulnerable with yourself because you know in your heart you will know in your heart really like if you listen and stop not just you have to get out of your mind sometimes you have to get out of this like conscious this is what I'm doing this is what I got to do you have to be able to go like okay what is my heart telling me it's like what's in my heart? heart so like you know how like you get that feeling he said to what feels good and what actually is in your heart i feel like a lot of people are like in their head so much there's a disconnect so absolutely because like for me like i was like that yeah i was exactly there's a disconnect yeah so

like in order to get that clear state of mind in order to like really know what you truly want to do and for me at least in my experience was like meditation and so i'm gonna tell you meditation right this is the thing writing down positive things but when i was your age like people would be like meditation you're fucking you're fucking you're fucking you're fucking hippie people Yeah, I was like, shut the fuck up, bitch. So, but now I'm older. I'm like, yo, this is the smartest shit to do. Like, because you have to, like, you have to try to erase all the other shit.

Like, if you could sit in a space and just focus on your breathing and, like, genuinely listen to your thoughts, go in and out of your mind without trying to hold on to them, without trying to make them something that you want them to be different. You want them to, you want to think. More, more like observing them. Exactly. Exactly. And it's so hard. It's so hard for people to do this because the thoughts. will come in and then they'll have like 10 other things associated to that thought that they go

well this and that and that and then like you try to organize it like I've been that way but the minute you realize like you're able to just relax and like just they're all little practices in letting go and allowing yourself to be vulnerable so if you could sit in that moment and just like okay I'm gonna focus on my breathing no matter what thoughts come in I'm going to continue to focus on my breathing let let them go let them come let them go that is so powerful and it sounds like some hippie bullshit it sounds like some bullshit in general but bro I swear to god that will change your life because you will start to get those thoughts and they'll come in and just like I said about the fucking ayahuasca shit goes out no no no the thoughts will come in and like I said about the ayahuasca shit

you'll be like it'll hit you and you'll be like oh I felt that that's that's the one yeah and then you can listen to that instead of just listen to this shit up here and the shit up here is normally associated with everyone else's fucking opinion oh you should do this and do that and do this and oh he did that to you should do that to him all this kind of shit and you start to you start to feel those thoughts in here and then you know oh that's undeniable i have to listen to that and then the better you get at listening to that the quicker you can listen to it and the quicker you can listen to it the quicker you can move through life and grow and get better in all those aspects and all those avenues yeah exactly that's what this shit's all about and the thing is

that's why i can't say this is exactly what you do because i can't speak to the exact person i don't i can't feel what they feel i can't know what they know about themselves but you have to be willing to be vulnerable with yourself you have to be willing to put yourself in positions like that that maybe it seems a little weird but allows you time to decompress from all the social media shit all the shit all the input input and allow yourself to just fucking be to see what's really going on in your mind not just the top like i said based on other people but what's really going on in your heart exactly and then like going back to like however everything kind of started with all three of us yeah but yeah i mean i just ended up finding like you posted

some shit on instagram yeah i messaged your old assistant danny shout out danny's a police officer now shout out danny and uh i honestly Honestly, this is like a super, don't kid, I love though. This is like a super, super big key. And I honestly think the reason why I'm able to work with, with you guys and to have all these opportunities. I'm super thankful for and grateful for was I remember I went to San Francisco with Nate. Wait, what was this? Oh, long, long, long, that's where I'm from.

No, no, no, no. This again, I'm just saying. We went back to Sam. We went to Sam. You're from there. I know. I can make those jokes, motherfucker. Nah, you're supposed from living.

Anyway, for living there. We went to San Francisco. We took a trip because it was his birthday. And for some reason, this is like the. main point that everyone should take away from this is that having that true feeling and like meditating and taking the time out of the day to be alone and truly be alone and manifest and all the shit right because I had been doing it for like a solid like month month two months that's all it took me because I was like so focused on what I actually wanted to do

and it was I wanted to do the job that I'm working yeah didn't matter who it was with I didn't have an idea but that didn't fucking matter didn't matter to me I was just like okay well this is the thing that I want to do how am I going to do it doesn't matter I just wrote it down every day and so we went to San Francisco we went to his we went out to like my aunt's house yeah to his aunt's house and he was like some birthday party bullshit anyway regards to the fact was that I had this weird feeling that something really good was going to happen the entire time the entire time I didn't know I even went to the ER that weekend this is before before like I you even posted that shit on Instagram I just kept telling myself and I would say it out loud literally

manifesting the shit that I have and I was like something good's going to happen something good's going to happen something good's going to happen and then I started to feel it and I continued to say it and I told Nate and he was just like what the fuck you're talking about bro what are you talking about I had just left the ER I just left the ER and he had just left the ER because of some bullshit and I was like bro something good's going to happen I kept saying it and then you posted on your Instagram that you needed a new videographer and I was like okay well shit I'm going to give it a shot yeah DM'd my work blah blah blah and I told Nate I remember on the drive home from San Francisco it's like a fucking five-hour

I'm like when I get home I promise you I'm getting this job and I'm gonna change my life forever I said that you know it you're witness bro you're a physical fucking witness and I would and I remember telling him like I like for some reason I feel you like I understand what you're feeling right now

I feel like it's gonna happen like I don't know it was a weird fucking feeling crazy dude crazy bro and I went home I went home that night and I was like I'm getting this job I'm gonna fucking kill it and this is like I'm I feel it and I knew it and I wrote it down said it out loud i felt it everything manifested it boom now i'm here and then he almost quit on the

first day i almost quit on the first tell him tell him tell him tell him i think we all almost quit at least the first week of being yeah yeah yeah good it's not i almost quit because my grandma died the first week i started really yeah i didn't oh shit no remember when he yelled at you you were like this is normal yeah yeah but like well the first time i ever work with brad uh i won in and like obviously See, he was like, I showed him my work and for some fucking reason. To be fair, let's say your work was, it was, everything was mid. Yeah. Everything.

It's not like better than, it was better than average. Okay. It was better than average. Ah, man. It was average. It was average. Better than your own YouTube videos. But my old YouTube videos.

Well, the takeaway is like, it doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, it's like, dude, if you know you can get better than fuck. No. So. No. So, let me tell you, though. That let me tell you why I was like, okay, I can hire this guy, though, was, not because I looked at your work and I was like wow this is incredible but it was because for some reason I felt like this this there is room for improvement I knew that but I felt like you you were willing to improve yeah like even from conversations with you like as I was talking to you and I'd give you feedback and I'm not the nicest when it comes to give because like I've done this shit for so long you don't want to waste you don't want to waste my time and just most definitely I don't want to you don't want to waste and I had a guy before you who like imagine I just had a guy I just got a guy I just got a guy I just got a guy I just got a guy and just got a guy and just got a guy and just got a guy. who quit before you who I laid it all out you knew exactly what the fuck was the job and you

knew what it entailed and you like yeah and you wanted this money and I gave you this money and you flopped it and flopped it and it's like and then but at the same time it took so many months to get him to even be at the point where because he did work that job for time where he would like I'm pouring into this guy you don't do this do this don't do that don't do that do this do this change that change that change that like because I know what works yeah and then I'm teaching I'm teaching I'm teaching six months go by The person just flops right So my fear is like

I'm gonna teach teach teach teach teach and then you're gonna fucking flop right So that's why I have to be very like This is how it has to be Do you get it or not and you started getting quick Brad's also an absolute psychopath and if it's not exactly to the T Then it's like buddy Yeah but look how much You have to be though I'm not saying it's a bad thing

But look how much better you guys are because of that shit Yeah You are always gonna be better because of that Like I'm not I'm not here being like you fucking suck. You're a bad person. I'm just like you know that you could do this better. Yeah and I going back to the first fucking day. Yeah, go ahead. And this is going to make sense. Right. So the first video he right. He called me in and I was like, God damn it. Here we are. It's 8 a.m. He told me to come in. We're going to film a video with Noah Beck. Yeah. And I was like I know who the fucking Noah Beck is. I know exactly it is. So I come in and my ass is completely like like I'm loki a little star struck because I used to watch. I used to watch. I used to watch. all the videos and i'm like damn this is super cool to like be a fucking videographer oh this story's hilarious and so like i love this i'm filming and because i'm not like a super super curated videographer yet i'm not experienced i'd only been doing freelance work and working with influencers i've never done so i'm like filming the video this way brad's talking and i'm not

paying attention i'm in the frame yeah you're in frame and noah's talking and i'm like okay well this is way more entertaining i'm going to look at the conversation with my head and i'm not moving the camera. Yeah, this is the number one thing. Like they're talking and Brad, I didn't even fucking batten eye to it. And so Brad goes, turn the camera off.

And I stop recording and I'm like, the fuck, why is he telling me they stop recording? In front of Noah? In front of Noah. Like, we're like in the middle of filming like so fucking random. I thought they were just having a conversation.

He's like, turn the camera off. I'm like, okay. And he goes, don't fucking do that shit. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, he's like,

when we're talking, you pan the camera. You're not paying attention. You're not paying attention. You're not paying attention. Because the number one thing, like the worst thing a videographer can do, like he's in the conversation. Like, Matt, his problem was he's filming me and then he starts talking and he goes like this with his head, but the camera's still on me. Like he's like he's more engaged with the conversation himself than he is with filming the conversation.

It's the whole point, right? So I've done, and you weren't the first person that's done that. You were like probably the fucking fourth person who's done some shit like that. And there was another guy prior or another guy. So I'm like, I'm at this point. I'm like, is everyone fucking stupid? Like, are you trying to film us or what are you shooting? I didn't have that experience.

I get it. No, no, no. And it's fine. It's fine. But I was at that point, I remember thinking like, oh, not this shit again. Yeah. I can't do this again. But Brad's, he snapped on me, bro.

He was like, what the fuck are you doing? Hold on. Hold on. I fucking do this again. I'm like, I'm going to get rid of you. And I was like, I'm going to get rid of you. And I drove over. I wanted to hear about his first day.

It was my best friend. I want to come over. He's like, I don't know if I could do this, man. I was like, why? I was like why he goes dude I was just filming he's fucking yell at me he said he said don't fucking do that shit ever again I'm like first time and I was like I was like maybe you don't want to work with him anymore like maybe you shouldn't yeah and like I was like I was like questioning it I was questioning it I was like damn like is Brad a piece of shit like

like should I even work with this guy blah blah blah and like everyone told me not to do it because I told them to do whatever you wanted to do now everyone told me not to do it and I was like why you know like maybe and the only person that told me to do it was my my roommate roommate Devin yeah and he was like bro just fucking do it man like who gets a shit like at least you said you tried and he was one of the most successful person people at the time that I knew yeah and I was like you know what I'm gonna give a shot and here we are yeah bro and I believed in it and I was like fuck it dude I don't really care what anyone says I honestly believed it I was like I honestly genuinely believe that if I just give it a shot then I can say and die and say at least

that like I tried because if I didn't try then I'd be like fuck dude I would regret that in my like It was like, it was killing me. I was like, dude, if I quit and, and slip up on an opportunity that somewhat could be amazing, that would kill me. Honestly, I don't want to regret anything in my life. Yeah. And now look at you guys. Yeah. Well, after I, after I, after I, I've heard multiple, like, multiple things he had told me, like, after the fact, like, your guys' trips to Miami and stuff like that.

I'm like, damn, like, I would never work for a YouTuber ever in my life. It just came out of work. It seemed like a lot. It seemed like a lot. It seemed like, he just seemed like super depressed. I'm like, well, he didn't have time to do it. anything because me and him would always like to hang out with him and he was like no I can't I got to edit I got to do this and it made him sad and I remember thinking I'm like damn like I can't

do that that's why I like my music videos basically what he said was I can't do anything anymore I don't have a life you so okay let me explain this so there was a point when we were traveling so much more than I probably ever traveled even my career of doing YouTube shit yeah it's when we were doing all the gambling shit the shit was Steve but there was a point when I knew we needed more people okay you're okay listen listen let me explain this story I love it. Let me explain the story. I knew it.

I was like, I know that we need this. But I'm not going to lie. The fucking, the competitive person in me goes, let's see how far Jacob can push it. This motherfucker fried me, bro. But now, but now you do,

you probably do, you do 10 times less work. Yeah, 10 times less work, yeah, for sure. But we also have help now. No, but that's the point. But we also still, at the end of the day,

I do still do less work. But if it wasn't for doing, because at the, at the time, time we like slowly started with like it was two videos it was like oh let's start with two videos yeah yeah yeah little light i was like that this fucking easy dude it was so easy in my head i was like damn well i can fucking do this every week forever and then brad's like we're gonna bump it up to three i was like yeah it's getting a little yeah it's all right i can still fucking live my life a little

bit then we started doing four and i was like buddy what the fuck like i had never produced that much content in my life. I was like, okay, this is getting a little harder. And I was like, ah, you're good, man. Just drink a little caffeine. And then when you thought it couldn't get any harder, they started traveling. Every fucking week. Every fucking week, bro. It was like fucking Miami. It was Cabo, Cancun, Bahamas, like, everywhere. And it's not, we're not doing normal shit. We're with fucking Steve. Steve will do it. Steve will do it is an absolute fucking animal. Yeah, he is. He's not a normal human. Yeah. He's like, what do you mean? What do you mean by that like because we're not doing normal shit it's not like we're not filming shit we're not filming

just workout shit and he's a cycle like me like non-stop everything it's a very last minute it's very like we're doing this now we're doing this we're doing it was like before what we were doing like the three videos here in in california was like we were just filming like bullshit like youtube videos like working out blah blah blah and that's easy to chop up but then you have to get more creative when you're traveling because you want to go all out yeah i want to go also have to have the time to edit while you're traveling exactly and so like we're going it starts off slow we're in miami blah blah doing a couple workout videos here and there i'm like okay this is easy and we're staying at steves and like that was cool

and then all of a sudden we decided to go to fucking cancun and i was like okay well this is fucking different and they start doing like you know gambling and shit blah blah blah at the time and then fucking starts ramping up then we meet six nine we're with six nine every day and we're in fucking cobo and then we go to bahamas and we're getting rampage by fucking a thousand fans in mexico i'm like what is going on and keep in mind like we're filming all day this isn't like we're filming at you know 10 it's not a 9 to 5 job yeah he's filming he's filming all day when i gave up he's editing all night when i gave up my previous job at working 24 hour fitness i was like well should this is boring

like i don't want to work in a 9 to 5 when you give up the 9 to 5 be prepared to work 7 days a week 24 hours a day yeah i don't know who the fuck ever said that they're like i don't want to work a 9 to 5 I think working myself would be easier It's not fucking easier You just get more used to it And you get more curated to it So here's the thing Like I said

I knew there was a time I was like I want to see how far I could push this motherfucker I'm not gonna lie I did that But I knew that he needed that I knew that he needed that in order To like if we were gonna bring more people

That he would know His max capacity like what he could do And now I bet you Bet you his max capacity is even higher If he went to go do it again He could probably facilitate it more Even with a better team right yeah so here's the thing we talk about this this whole podcast is this the same shit the same

concept you wouldn't know good without going through the bad you also it also would not make you better if it was just like oh man you're doing a great job dude keep up that shit you work honestly you wouldn't no like because like like I said you didn't really like ever tell me that I was doing a good job when I was like grinding it out doing like crazy videos and you probably wanted to be better and I wanted to I just continued like thinking like damn well like what the fuck man like what else do I have to do to like be better and I would just I'll watch YouTube tutorials I'd watch like editing on sounds. I'd watch color grading.

I'd fucking always want to like do more. How can I get someone to like watch this video through storytelling? How can I, how can I be better because this motherfucker is not showing no love? I'm like, God damn, bro. And look, what else can I do? And now he's the best. I'm on my hands and fucking knees grinding, bro.

Look, now he's the best. Grinding 24 hours a day, bro. And if it wasn't for that. And it was like shitty, bro, I wanted to quit so bad. But because I thugged it out and I was like, you know what, inside I still had that feeling. I didn't really manifest as much

but I still had the feeling I was like I want to be great at something Yeah And I still think that to this day Even after that huge fucking Bullshit like that shit was like Not a good mindset Now you're now you're the best

But now I'm like I think I'm very good at it And I still manifest it And I think that's on my way And that's the part of the journey To getting to be great at something You're definitely top five editors On YouTube right now

I hope bro Easily easily But so that's what I'm saying like Look obviously I'm not saying I went about everything right I go about everything, right? I know that. But I do believe in hard work.

And I do believe in having to do the work and go through the bullshit. And then you get to the other side and everything's fucking easier, man. Like everything is more simple. And then obviously I knew we had to hire more people. And it's so hard to find good people because it's very, it's more so often than not, I'll find people that like they want to come in, steal some fucking cloud and run away with it. Right. I've dealt with that.

So it was so hard to find the right people. And then it's so crazy that like he had you guys. And I knew about you guys prior doing the same kind of stuff. and I was like fuck well this would be great like if you guys could all be like a fucking crew I didn't I didn't know how it would work because I didn't know were you gonna come in and then fucking not not only suck but like would you be able to be consistent

or would you be good or would you work hard because like it's different between being good and like being a hard worker and being consistent and doing it over time because anyone could be good at something and temporarily you could be good but like when you really get put to the test where you're like fucking you got to perform and do X amount of videos

can you still be good can you still be good yeah Because that's when hard work comes in Exactly what do they say Hard work beats motivation Hard work beats talent Talent that's all good I'm 30 sorry bro yeah I'm older you know Mine's racing or anything

No you got it's all good So anyways you brought How the story went You brought Sylby right He came next so you guys were on your last trip in Miami I think it was last August Yeah so yeah The end of the storm

I texted him Yeah dude well no I was ready to get out of that bitch too He actually asked me he says Yo like I might have a job opportunity for you like would you want to do it i'm still in school at this time okay i'm about to go on to my last year of college and he would mess to me about i'd be like oh that'd be cool like yeah i'm down never said anything about it again i'd message him like almost every day i remember of this is

like literally leading up to my first day of school i was like yo like am i going to get this job whatever he's like i'm not back yet he phacetimes me with you next to him and says yo we're going to bring him out here i don't know if that was a joke or what obviously but you probably he was like it was a joke and he's like okay we're going to bring you out here and I was probably like this so fuck's that kid me and him went out there but you guys ended up leaving that same fucking day so me and him just were out there anyways I got home you guys got home I'm like yo jacob am I coming in whatever then it's literally the day of school my last day of fucking senior year for college he didn't he still doesn't send any word yet I'm all my way to

school I go to C son he's like yo he calls me I'm like almost almost at school he goes all right I'm gonna uh Brad wants you to come in come to zoo I just said I don't go to school I don't go to school I turned around I dropped out that day literally that's you know what's funny about that you want to know you got to always thank Jacob for this yeah that was a hundred percent his decision no I know yeah we had already been looking at like three videographers and like I was like going back to the whole thing of surrounding yourself of people that are like minded yeah and like these are only two fuckers that I actually believe that are hard workers like there's only two people that I hang out with yeah like since high school and we all wanted to do this year I'm not gonna lie I was hesitant at first

I was like these are just his boys trying to get him pay yeah yeah all these thoughts to be fair i'd i'd even want to work with you in the fucking first place no because you were scarred by the early shit well i would first yes because i was scarred by what the fuck he was going through i'm like i was i was traumatized by his trauma so i was like fuck that and i was okay with making my own schedule and be my own boss with the music video stuff but then like i just you know i finally realized rappers just broke as fuck like your your chain like the chains they have is all the money they saved up to buy that And they have nothing else left unless you look at a list wrap exactly if you're a list whatever you're still making money whatever

But other than that like it don't matter how many followers you got like I know which rappers actually broke But like anyways it just it just I don't know I didn't want to work with you I didn't want to work with you the first place But I just you know I realize how much he's learned and how much better he got from everything And I'm like bucket maybe I should try it out and then he's like I do have an opportunity for you if want to take it I'm like really has about it just because like of everything I heard and then I don't know I just so funny I just fuck it my girlfriend now is was the reason why I actually took the job why what do you mean she was like I need money for these kids no no me and him always said that we all okay so all

all three of us always said that we wanted to work together we didn't matter what it was yeah whoever it was for whatever was we just always said that so it started with him right then it came to me and then we were like let's get a job we have to like this is like it's kind of fun yeah Like we all have to make it a thing A lot of work but it's like fuck it And then finally he came That wasn't that wasn't the reason why though It was a big reason

It was a big reason why but The reason was because I was so tired of being used And like not getting paid To do these music videos I would work so hard Spend countless nights Fucking till 4 a.m. as Jacob And like in studios and fucking random spots

And bro who the fuck owes you money dude We gotta find those people I would make a fucking lame I can put a whole list together and so late add up I literally have a whole notes of everything that people owe me whatever but it's definitely how much money you think you're owed over five grand oh that's not that bad but honestly like it's like money dude you know what the fuck but like that five grand like I get it I get it's me

and I didn't charge that much stop you were like 250 for a video so you think about that's a lot of videos yeah god damn bro but I was doing it because I actually loved doing music videos and I wasn't down to overcharge somebody for a music video because I wanted them to afford it so I could keep working with them because I only cared about the work not because of the money so that's it in age well my girlfriend saw me like go through all that shit and she was like and I was tired just like being low on money living fucking whatever paycheck to paycheck even though it was just little cash here in there she was like maybe it's just time for you to take that step

and like do something where it's more consistent work like I'm not afraid of hard work I'm not afraid to put in the effort. Yeah. I don't give a fuck who I do it for as long as you appreciate it. And as long as like I'm being taken care of as well. So then finally he had talked to me, he sat down and talked to me. He's like, it's a lot of work, but like you'll be taken care of. All I fucking cared about was taking care of me.

I just told him that like, bro, I mean, if you follow your passion, because like we've been want to do the shit since damn near fucking ninth grade. Yeah. I've been wanted to do it since seventh grade, honestly. And I was like, I would have like real conversations. That's just funny. We had deep-ass conversations about, like, damn, like, this is where we want to be. This is where, like, we need to be.

And, like, we need to follow, like, our passions and live, like, a dream, a dream job and, like, do that shit. But we have to, like, all, like, work together. Because I found out, like, like, like, manifesting your shit and, like, saying it out loud, like, if you believe it, then, like, if it's more than one person doing it, if there's, like, one or two people or even three people that actually believe it. Yeah. And, like, we would. always like work out together and like it was like that energy bouncing around like we'd get progress or like I'd get progress and Nate would get progress and Sid would get progress and like that was when I knew that like as like a fucking trio group like yeah that we could do something we were so

it was just it when it was dope because it was like base off working out it's like that's what we work in fitness industry and like if it wasn't for that like I was like damn well we can really do this shit super random thought yeah Andrew Tate what about him he just got unbanded from Twitter no that's right he did He did. He's back on. Super random. I'm not super random, but like, it's like fucking far left field. But Elon Musk, unbanned.

And he got like a million followers in a day. And also unbanned Donald Trump. Yeah, he did. And Kanye West. Damn. What if Edutate did ayahuasca? Bro, he'd be like a fucking, he'd like a, what if he's done? What do we could talk about?

What? Is you had a conversation with Tate off camera. What did you guys talk about? Oh, shit. Because like. That's we can't really talk about that. That was a lot. A lot of stuff.

That's something we can't really talk about. But so if he, I'm thinking if, Andrew Tate did i was like if i did if i did if i did iwaska with andrew tate i think it would be the craziest like it'd be like the craziest this guy we'd probably like break the sound barrier like i think he turned into like i think you guys would break the internet together yeah i think he would turn into like a fucking like a maybe he's already done iawaska there's no way because i don't think he'd be so misogynistic oh you think it makes you non i think but do you think he's really misogynistic really why just because of like the videos i

see like I know like on podcast and like it's not very top videos he like yeah that's kind of that was kind of lame what you do just FYI why just kind of like it's kind of fucking not very top G yeah just we're just saying I'm not I mean bro you're entitled to your opinion it's fine good just kind of not it's just like really fuck you fuck you felt I'm out of you it felt low G to me no no honestly though like I don't think Andrew I don't agree with everything Andrew Tate says but he does say some fucking shit there's a lot of things he does he does he do will be spitting facts sometimes. That's what I'm saying.

I'm not saying everything he says is not facts, but like I'm saying like every girl hates him. No, no, no. No, no. I think so. He definitely has, bro. When we went to fucking Dubai,

if every girl hated him, then there would be zero bitches at the screen. That's different. Isn't that like, he had some, he had some, he had some, he had some, he had some talent.

Yeah. I'm talking about, he can't even put that in down here. Oh, he had some talent. He did that. I won't say, anyway,

I think if he took ayahuasca, he'd be, he might just literally like rise. Jesus Christ Like literally just float away Because I think dude It makes you even more like No but that was certain

You think okay Well I guess What if he doesn't really feel that What if he like Deep down he just doesn't actually feel that But on the internet he's saying the shit Just like for the views you know Well I talked to him about that

When I did the pot with him in Dubai It was like he He did say that like he could have said things differently Like obviously he knew at the same time That the controversialness of his conversation The way he said it He also knew that that that's kind of to how the internet works like that's how you get the growth like i mean it's simple it's it's

really this simple if he came in and only said yo empowerment stuff for men people are just not going to listen to the same if he says that yeah and also this other stuff that's more controversial that's just the way it is that's how the internet works i'm not saying it's okay and it's right and the things that he said are great in every aspect but i think i think a part of him knew it would have such an effect that would cause like everyone to be like oh my god but at the core of it he has a lot really positive things to say in my opinion and I had a conversation with him off camera I'm not saying everything he says is like misogynistic we'll say with anyone right I don't agree with everyone I'm just like I think if I took stuff like that like I just change my ways and be more understanding

towards everybody like not just like you know what I mean but that's what I'm saying even so off camera for example he I think he is very understanding I think he just knew at the same time no matter what it's on the internet no matter what there is a bit of a character for everyone everyone plays a little bit of a character so you're saying that you think he's been playing character a little bit no no no I'm saying I'm saying that part of his character was to be a little bit controversial so yeah there is a little bit of a character play you mean you kind of have to do that right but off camera when I'm talking to this guy like everything is very very rational very logical so it seems like not just a void of emotion like he's not just like men rational logical like he he does

understand like the effects that it has so it's like again I had this like literally like a two hour conversation after you were there I was there yeah you guys were fucking it was crazy because Like, this is right after the part two, Tate podcast, it's full send. And, dude, it was crazy because, like, we didn't film anything afterwards. We didn't film anything, yeah. But afterwards, like, we were in Dubai, and, like, it was, we were, like, eating shit and, like, taking shots, blah, blah. But, like, Brad and Tate were fucking sitting outside for, I'm not playing, bro, like, a solid two and a half hour straight. Yeah.

On this fucking table, just shooting shit. I don't have no idea what the fuck they were talking about. Can we know anything? Yeah, I just can't talk in detail. It's crazy, though, because I wish, like, we could have recorded that, but I wish I could have, bro. It's like, it's always the most, like, genuine off-camera conversations that are the best, which is fine. Yeah. That's not supposed to be.

What was the most important thing you got out of their conversation if you can tell us? I think Tate's a good person. Okay. Yeah, I do. Genuinely. How did you get that feeling? Like, what made you feel that way? All things considered that we were talking about, like it would, I never felt like, oh, he's just misogynistic and he hates him.

I don't, I don't believe that at all. Okay. I think that that was a thing that, like, there's, there's overarching viewpoints. that like big big picture viewpoints that would make sense why they'd want to kick someone off like that off of the internet because of a lot of the things that he was saying in regards to like society and like taxes and money and all these things that are like big picture like if you get a bunch of young men to believe in these things and these ideas that it's empowering them yeah it's it's encouraging them and I think there is a lot of parts in our society in which it can make more

sense for the powers that be to have less empowered men and and and weaker. So I think Andrew Tate's kind of empowering men to be like, absolutely, 100%. Let's fucking get this shit. And obviously there's a line. There's a line of like, you know, everyone's unique viewpoint of his viewpoints, right? You know, that the 12 year old kid might not, he might not have enough of understanding of a hundred different things to make the most sense of what Tate said.

And then maybe he takes it and he runs this direction. But that is a reality in all types of conversations. Yeah, I just like the fact that like a lot of people were trying to cancel him just because of some of the things he said, not all. So they kind of made it seem it was like all the things he was saying was fucked up. Like I don't agree with fucking anything. It's like it's like we go like this.

We go like that thing he said was wrong. But that's with anyone though, right? Exactly. Right. And there's also a ton of people who've done things that aren't fucking amazing for everyone and they have a young audience and they might do some fuck shit. That kid's going to see and think that's okay. Yeah.

Right. So like we've experienced stuff like this and like there's been other people who've been canceled in the past and blah, blah, blah, and all this shit. It's frustrating because. at like the core of it when I was talking to him it felt like the big picture I mean I don't know just like in the society that we live in it's just like this way or that way it's like yeah and it's it's not that simple right and in relationship to the way people view it you can't make your message only I guess perfect for everyone you know what I'm saying like it's more like so because here's the thing right do you think everyone's gonna love you yeah yeah and do you think that like okay okay Okay, overall, the message, there's a lot of message, a lot of good things in what he's talking about

and a lot of empowering stuff for men that men have been obviously looking for it because if he comes back from being banned, he's on Twitter and he's got two million followers like three days. People like want to hear from this guy, right? Because there's a drastic need for that sort of male encouragement that has been lacking for so long.

Otherwise, why do you think Elon Musk unbanned these people? Because he probably believed that they should have a say and like they should be able to like voice their own opinions i think that's why well it also i mean i'll just call that exactly what it is and also it's it's also like relevancy right and it's also making twitter more popular yeah i saw some like some analytics on twitter yeah they're skyrocketed yeah elon just recently posted and that twitter's skyrocketing i honestly do think twitter's gonna come back and be one of the biggest well twitter's always here but yeah i love twitter i use it all the time

twitter's fucking hilarious but i'm telling you right now it is it's just like straight up Elon's a smart guy He gets a lot of shit all the time But it's like he knows that people want these people I'm not saying they're like make or break the platforms But it's enough to cause like Oh Twitter was the first app that brought this guy back That's what I'm saying

If this guy can get 2 million followers In fucking four days That does a lot Clearly motherfuckers want to talk about Or hear about or see what this guy's saying So it's like no matter what you want to say About what he said or didn't say Or all these other things

It's like there's obviously a lot of people Who want to hear from this person and there's a lot of good in a lot of the stuff that he says so it's like you can't just say this one thing is bad that guy's a terrible verse so like also too

because like that gives a perspective as like if Elon's the first one to unband these people and you can see how Twitter's slowly been kind of from like this slow steady platform right it's kind of like plateau and just fucking it's starting to skyrocket

a little bit do you think that other platforms like Instagram and YouTube and all these other apps will maybe fall along that trend Because Elon's the first one that did it. And I'll tell you why. And at the end of the day, if we're being real,

these apps are in it for the money. That's why people will. Yeah. And so here's the deal. Elon's probably making a lot more money now. Hold on. Hold on. What's happened. It's not even about money.

He's not, he's spent fucking 44 billion. It's more about competition and industry. The point is this. These apps now are getting to a point where they're so competitive with each other. Instagram versus TikTok versus they're all like apps are now changing the way that they're working with the creators. For the first time ever,

like I've never experienced this just to make content on like Snapchat. they're starting to pay people just to post stories simple shit shit i've done forever made no money doing like i made money because i'm promoting roggear i'm promoting a workout program i'm promoting my own video i'm making because of the content that i'm making the way that i'm capturing it somewhere on the back end now these apps started tick to start paying people more for all the little views they used to pay a lot less now they're paying more it's so smart too so the point is this so smart it's smart it's smart but they have to start competing well also there's because like now the pool is so massive but also it's divided so if you see like twitter's popping why would you think dude facebook

just laid off a bunch of people amazon all these companies are laying off people because like shit's going like this overall so if like if you see like oh if we let these i'm not saying like that creator is going to just make it change but it's like if you see any sort of well if we can put him on and we can make sure that like maybe his views are a little restricted or like we can kind of get him like yo can you like not do this or not do that then like why would they not try to work that out I mean, I don't know. I don't see. Also, too, because if you see like Snapchat, like you said,

is paying people like a lot of money and bigger creators, like a fuck ton of money to make stuff, that's going to make everyone else believe that they can do it, go on the app and make that app amazingly fucking huge. The point is, like, if people are, if there's more people on an app, because there's more creators on an app, but I think this is the thing that's happening is that basically

these apps forever have been grown because of influencers. Yeah. Like YouTube exists because. because people like me and before me made content. People were like, this is cool. And then all these big companies came in and were like, money, views. We're taking all this shit.

We're in this bitch. We're taking everything. Like, now we're fucking the way that you get content from your favorite creators because we're in here. Buy our shit, right? Now they're starting to realize there's just like, well, TikTok came and gave people more views. Like all these apps are now being like, wait,

we kind of fucking need creators a little bit. Yeah. So now they're starting to come back around. Yeah. I feel like TikTok was like that first app because it gave like small. smaller creators from anywhere like part of the world like people that have no fucking followers a chance to like actually go viral yeah but you could see random people like they'd get like 10

million and 11 million blah yeah it's not even it's the way the algorithm works but i and literally it's just because now because ticot got so massive that all these other all these other apps are like wait we're like people aren't making as much content here right because prior to this they were just like we're instagram yeah you're gonna be here right regardless exactly so it's like we're not going to help you or deal with you or anything we don't give a fuck now instagram's paying people well yeah now instagram's paying for reels now it's going for all this stuff because they're starting to realize like wait we need people to make content here if not they're going to fucking ticot if not they're going to fucking snapchat if not they're going to youtube right and they're

starting to realize that there's like real competition in between all the app space that they're kind of like they're having to do things differently so like before it was like you need us now they're starting to like not that we need that that that we that they need us like really bad, but they're starting to realize they need us a little more, I think. Let the attention to that. Yeah. Just people making content on the platforms. Yeah.

Because like you can't facilitate. Like imagine if all the creators are like, fuck this app and then it's just a bunch of advertisers. Yeah. No one's, no one's there. Everyone's like, okay, I'm just watching ads on YouTube now. Super random thought too. Because you're a fitness influencer and, and we're talking about TikTok. I was on TikTok the other day and I saw H3.

Yeah. And I know you're about podcast. Yeah, we're going to do the podcast. I feel like we should talk about H3 a little bit. I saw him working out online. It's lit, dude. I'm proud of him. And, like, I know, like, he doesn't really work out.

Yeah, but. And you kind of roasted him. I never roasted him for not working out. I roasted him for, for basically. Didn't he say working out was, like, kind of pointless? I don't know. I don't know about that. I never heard that.

I don't know that. All I know is, I just, I'm pretty sure I remember him saying that, like, working out was pointless. He gave me shit for keeping my gym open. I don't, I think he was, I think what he said was, like, people spending, like, all their time in the gym was pointless. I don't, to be honest, I'm not sure, but I think it was along those lines. Which could actually be true.

Could be true, but I was like, but yeah. But no, if he's in the gym, that's great, dude. But I do know that. I'm going to talk to him about it. Yeah, you're about to be on H-3. I'm going to be on H-Street. I'm doing it in person. Wait, so, send it up.

Did you guys have beef with each other? I don't, I didn't really have beef, no, not real beef. It's just like, he said some shit that I was like, why the fuck would you say that without understanding the full circumstances? He related, he just related the gym to like laser tag, basically, because I was keeping my gym open. And he's like, you know, basically this meat is keeping his gym open for selfish reasons. It's obviously much different for me than that, right?

But I'm having to like deal with someone just like clipping it and being like, you know, if we're saying the gym's important, though, might as well just let people who play laser tag play laser tag. Like that's kind of how he said it. It's like it's the same thing. Like the importance of the gym is the same thing as the importance of the laser tag for the laser tag guy. I just heard that.

I was like, that's kind of fucking crazy. But it's obviously it's from a perspective of someone doesn't understand how important the gym actually is. I think it's cool that he's allowing you No, it's don't. That he's having you on the podcast. I don't, bro, I don't have an issue like that. Like, I'm actually excited to talk to him about it.

So there's no beef? No, dude, I don't know what. Because from the internet's perspective, I feel like people thought you guys had beef. On the internet's perspective. Yeah, no. I think I actually have beef with that guy. I don't even know it.

I can know, dude, that's just I just say, all I know is I see shit and it's like negative shit. Oh, oh, the whole thing. It was more like beef with Steve, right? Yeah. So, but that's because like there was like a joke with The dog, the dog shit. But it was your podcast.

So I thought it was beef, just because it was, it was your podcast and like, yeah, I feel like the internet was comedy a lot on that pod about how like Steve said he jerks his dog off. And it was obviously clearly just a fucking skit. It was a joke. We made the joke prior, but like they believed that it was true. Yeah, which is understandable, I guess, you know. Yeah. Well, that was part of the joke.

Yeah. To be honest, that's part of the joke. But the problem I think was when, because I think the reason why they got, they like, they shot back and was like, then why is he so mad that it's it's like i wish i wish you guys filmed beforehand like on camera like oh like we shouldn't talk about this and yeah you remember you were there i can say that i was you were there i was physically there and like we were in miami and i remember them we didn't film it because obviously like it's part of the joke you don't want to give away the joke but i remember them talking about we were in the fucking penthouse yeah we're in the man cave

yeah exactly we were in the man cave and i just they were shooting this shit and i heard them they were like we got to fucking do this to make it funny blah blah blah yeah and like we didn't film it but i did overhear it so yeah I talked about how we're going to think of, like, three, like, three, like, fake bullshit stories. Yeah, just to make it entertaining. And it was fucking entertaining. Bro, it was so funny. My dog.

Don't worry about it. Clearly, it did get the internet's fucking eye. You got the attention. So I guess it worked whatever the fuck you guys did. I mean, that's part of it, dude. Like, and that's the same thing. Like, that's, like, that guy's content is, like, picking stuff and talking about shit. And it is what it is.

Yeah. Yeah. But Steve was just foul against his wife. That was foul. Yeah, that's kind of fun. You can't do that, but you dog is why. What do you say? you can do your own research on that one but am i lost like why do fuck how come i like i just

find out about shit like now that's how it is that's why the internet's a fucked up place so too because like some people will see bits of content and not see the full form or not see the whole thing or not to really if you really want to like really give a good opinion on something it gives you got a really deep deep deep get in and that's why i tend to like sometimes tend to like stay out of shit because like people like i said i'm not jumping in on like topics like that because they talk about you well i don't know the whole side of the whole side of of the shit and that's my I only fire back because I was like you don't really understand

why I actually did this you just made an assumption based on what you thought you know what I'm saying I feel it so I always kind of like I try to be like all right if I don't know fully I'm just going to be like I don't fucking know yeah so that was our side quest let's get back to the other conversation yeah let's get back to it let's get back to it I know for a fact

we can do it because I felt it and now now we're talking about making a production company together yeah which is which is fucking cool which is cool as fuck because I've always dreamed of doing something like that because I want to be able to make content for everybody and all kinds of fucking people like not just making YouTube videos or just music videos I want to make content it doesn't matter where we do it how we do it I just want to like commercials anything

what's the future man I mean it's it's the president's a future it's something that's not going to go we've talked about this but it's something that over the next 20 years is only going to continue to be more more important like because everything lives on the internet nowadays so making content around either a creator or a creator in relationship to a company and vice versa, et cetera, it's never going to go anywhere. And the thing is, like, I realize over all my years of doing this, like knowing what works, what people like, what people don't like, knowing all this shit that I kind of pour into all the people that I know,

that I've been like, damn, this is something that I would love to go in further and all the brand building, everything that I've done, the networks that I've created. And then I was like, I always wanted to do this. I've always wanted to have a company like this. I just knew that I wasn't the guy. I wasn't the Jacob. I wasn't the Nate. I wasn't the silly.

I couldn't do the actual application myself, but I've always wanted to be able to be involved in that space. to a greater degree because I know what works. And like, I'm really excited to do it. And it's dope. I'll just think like all, all four of us and then like whatever we add into it is going to be like, I think we're just like the puzzle pieces that like just were meant to be together.

And we can make something like this because what's that five Steve. Oh yeah. Oh Steve too. Yeah. Steve's ride or die right. But like obviously like you're a big part of it and like I'm sure you're going to be a big part of it. But like I think I don't know.

You just needed people like us to be able to do it. people you can trust and I feel like we all trust each other I trust them with my fucking life well I think it's just a it's a at the end of the day like moral of the story is like doing shit that you actually feel is right is right yeah and honestly at the end of the day like that's why like I think I've got a little bit of success that's why Brad has success that's why Steve has success everyone in the world had success because they're following the things that they actually truly feel in their heart yeah and in the energy because energy is a real thing.

Energy is a, if you fucking follow the energy that you get, that feels good. Like that gut feeling, you're like, damn, like this feels good. If you meet someone, you know, like, they're a shitty person. Then you're like, damn, that person's a piece of shit. And then at the end of the day, they're like, damn, that person is to be the shit. And if you know something is going to go bad, like you get that gut feeling. You're like, damn. Like, I don't really have a good feeling about this.

It's like, well, and then it ends up being shitty. Well, and not to suck dig, but like, I've felt that way since I've started working with you guys. Like, all I've wanted to do was, make all of us better and like you could ask steve and chris we have group trust together i'm like we should do this like i just want to keep getting better at everything that we do yeah like i feel so a part of this i feel like it's like a real team and like yeah i agree it's been this is more than that follow follow the passion man once you find it's a hard thing to find but if you take the time i feel i feel good about working like like harder for you guys and like because of that feeling and it's

because it's also reciprocated like i want the same for you guys i as much as i want to work harder for for myself I want to work harder for you guys because at the same time it's it goes like this man like like I couldn't keep going if I didn't have you guys to be like around I couldn't do it like it's just kind of like it wouldn't it also wouldn't be as fun like I like to see you guys succeed and make money and have fun like all that shit so at the same time at the end of the day we talk about this it's like peace love and ayahuasca pretty much but we keep talking about the same thing which is important which is like where you place your energy where you place your emphasis on what you're thinking about what you're like really feeling and are you

attentive to it because that's if you listen to that that's that's going to allow you to be successful not even in a sense of money or financial game but like happiness yeah because if you listen to your heart and you listen to how it feels and you act upon it like you're not going to be unhappy you're going to be unhappy when you look around you're like fuck i don't i don't know i like being here i don't want to be here like your body your heart's telling you get away right but like your mindset oh i have to do this though like if you start listening to your heart more you will have so much more success. And not only will you have so much more success,

you'll be better at everything that you do. Like, period. Because you'll do the things that are guiding you, like, your heart is guiding you to do this because you genuinely give a fuck about it because you actually like doing it. And then that product

or that thing that you're working on, it's going to show that. It's going to represent that. I just think that people get too caught up in like whatever, what everyone else is doing. Of course. And they're like,

well, this guy's successful, so I'm going to do everything that he did. Just focus on you. It's like, until like you really, truly decide to like make that step and the effort to work on yourself and be able be alone for a bit and and feel all the feelings associated with that yeah because that's when yeah be comfortable yeah be

comfortable being uncomfortable be alone for a bit and like honestly follow your gut feeling yeah and at the end of the day i feel like that's going to lead you to success i'm not saying i'm the most successful fucking videographer in the world but i'm just saying like it seems like all the people that i've surrounded myself with all the all the people i've surrounded myself with all the all the people i've surrounded myself with and the people that I've seen and met and talked to and it seems like they all say the same shit so I'm gonna just keep fucking doing that so all the videographers are creators hey and that fucking possible you can work with Bradley Morn too bro but beyond that just like do do shit that makes you happy to

yeah straight up it'll lead you to where you need to be absolutely it doesn't matter what the fuck it is like follow your passions stay solid and you do ayahuasca yeah Sylby go ahead close it out be make sure you do ayahuasca this is about Ayahuasca is forever You sound like a cult man Jesus Christ Ayahuasca is forever I'm kidding

No but that's it I appreciate you guys a lot I just want the world to know that You guys are fucking amazing You guys are incredible You work fucking hard I know it's not always easy It's not supposed to be

That's the point of life You're just supposed to fucking Try harder every day And some days are gonna be more difficult than others but you just keep going And you'll be like fuck you turn around You'd be like damn this shit was dope Yeah exactly

I got one thing to say before we wrap this up This is the small fucking couch and I'm sorry that we're sitting this and whoever guests that sat in this goddamn fucking couch and shit fucking is small as hell it's our fault it is our fault we picked it out we need a new carpet

we need new couches yeah we're gonna fix this anyway maybe next season I don't know appreciate oh oh subscribe to the channel iTunes we're on Spotify or YouTube drop a like everything if you like this video with the boys show some love yeah if you want more of it

let us know as well I love you guys We're out of here. Peace. Later. Fuck yeah.