RAWTALK - CHRIS D'ELIA QUITS STAND UP TO BECOME A FULL TIME DAD

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Lets get on the stage with Chris D'elia and look at the crowd. We talk about the journey of life and many stages of mindset as you get older. We share stories about the challenges, stand up, mob mentality, relationships, negativity, comedy, dark times and fatherhood. There was a lot of lessons that we collectively took away from each other and you might too...SPONSORS:PRIZE PICKS: Sign up for PrizePicks here: https://app.prizepicks.com/sign-up?invite_code=BRADSHIPSTATION: Sign up using promo code RAWTALK for a FREE 60-day trial today at ShipStation.com and start saving with every shipment. KUSHY DREAMS: Go to kushydreams.com use Promo Code RAWTALK for 25% off your next order SUBSCRIBE HERE: https://www.youtube.com/c/REALRAWTALK?sub_confirmation=1LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rawtalk/id1294154339FOLLOW RAWTALK PODCAST:INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/getrawtalkTIKTOK | https://tiktok.com/@askrawtalkFOLLOW BRADLEY:INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/bradleymartynSUBSCRIBE TO RAWTALK PODCAST CLIPS: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvzSBNBOK599FqzrTZS8ScQ/?sub_confirmation=1SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE OF BRADLEY MARTYN: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWTQG2aMDYKGDqYEGqJb1FA/?sub_confirmation=1SUBSCRIBE TO FITNESS CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/bradleymartynonline?sub_confirmation=1RAWGEAR: https://www.rawgear.com (CODE:RAW)

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Let's get back in this podcast. Yeah, what come to get you right now? Cricelia, baby. Oh, there is. Oh, the door is open. Who knows if this is not your place, I want to shop. What's up, bro? Good, you.

See you, man. How long are you for coming? Good, good, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. How long have you been here? About two years. You like it out of it? How long do you do this podcast now?

So, I wouldn't do the podcast for like four years, but not consistent. Got it. This is a new rendition of it. When I first started, it was like me and a few of my boys. And then, you know, people get busy, do other things, and folks and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, I kind of paused on it, didn't do it as much, came back.

Did it again. It was a different name. It was called CultureCast. And then I stopped that for a while and then came back and was like, okay, I wanted to take this for real. Because I love this kind of content so much. I just like learning about people. Interesting. So that's kind of where it started.

And then I was like, okay, I want to do this full force because, you know, at the same time for me, going through years and years of making content, I've been doing social media forever from the beginning of fucking Instagram and doing this YouTube shit. you get to a point where I'm like okay I don't want to keep making the same kind of content forever it's like you know slapstick type like blog shit on YouTube where it's like it gets old you know so that I was like I like this because it's it's you could always do this

yeah yeah yeah yeah I know shit changes it's like the stuff that's hot on social media then changes to it to a whole other platform and shit and so like you gotta figure out how to do it there and then figure out how to do it on the next one like there was there was Vine and then fucking Instagram and then now it's TikTok and so it's like yeah you did Vine shit I did, yeah, I was actually just, that were you, that's where you blew up.

Yeah, kind of. I was literally just talking about this. I think it was last night. I, I kind of blew, so three things happened. I was on a show on NBC and my special came out, my first special came out, and Vine was like, I had gotten like, I was like one of the first guys to get like a million followers on Vine. It was like back when people didn't really even have a million followers on anything, you know. You know, people got like fucking 30 million followers and shit. But like, and I remember starting, this is what I was telling.

I can't remember who the fuck I was saying this to, but like I was telling them that I was, I think we were talking about Batch, King Batch, because he's doing stand-up. Right. And now he's doing stand-up. Well, he had always kind of been doing it, but then he kind of popped off doing other shit. So I think he kind of took, he stopped. And so now he's really been doing a lot of stand-up lately, which is great. So I was talking to him about this months ago, but I was like, you should like slowly educate people

with your following that you're also a stand-up comedian because this is when I would do, like it was all different thing. People knew me from this show and then my sick, and then my special, and then a whole different group of people knew me from Vine. So I would always like try to make sure on Vine that people knew that I was a stand-up comedian too

because like I'll be hell of, I knew I was from I didn't want to not want to be known for like six second videos yeah yeah yeah it was like I like I've worked so hard doing stand-up and doing stand-up for years that like I was like this is what I wanted to be known for so like I did blow up on vine but I always tried to like do vines where I would like either be on stage or something like that because I wanted to like educate people that didn't know because people would be like oh that's the guy from vine he's doing stand-up and I'm like I've been doing stand-up for years you know

yeah there tends to be that that process people learning about like what you're doing from this and then because i've i've done content with like the knellke boys for example and like you know i play this kind of character where it's like they you know pretty much they're punching bag for a lot of jokes and then other people see like wait i've seen this guy doing fitness stuff for a hundred years yeah but it's it's i mean it's a part of the process but this for sure the podcast stuff is hands down the thing i enjoy the most that's cool and i think it's like it has the most longevity with it because for me it's it's just about learning about people and trying to understand where people came from so by the way welcome

back i know we got right into that really quickly another episode of raw talk i I got the, fucking the great Chris Talia with me. Thank you. I actually met you years ago outside of a, I think it was the comedy store. Okay. Super briefly, I was with my buddy Brock. Oh, you were, okay. Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Years ago. I remember that. Like super years ago. I was a fan. I was a fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, I came to see it and watched it and then we met you after. Yes.

I totally remember that. I made fun of Brock online years ago, just. I didn't even make fun of me. He took a picture in front of these stationary bikes, and I made some silly, stupid meme about how he had too many stationary bikes. He was obviously at the gym, and I was just making fun of him. And then he reached out to me, and he was like, bro, I love your shit. I was like, oh, dude, thanks for being such a good sport.

And then I just always knew him as, you know, his online stuff. And then I ran into him. I can't remember if I invited him to that show or not, but I would run into him at the gym. I ran into everyone at the gym I know and then we ran into each other at the gym outside and but okay so you were at that show okay long time ago

I remember there were a bunch of fucking big dudes together and you were one of them okay that's hilarious man that was a while ago though long years ago years ago so you started you started what in acting or comedy what was first I guess technically I started as an actor but the goal was always to do stand up I always wanted to do stand up and I thought it was just too

I was too scared to do it How do you know you want to do stand-up? I don't know I always just wanted to do it I always thought it was the coolest job I always liked making people laugh My parents are both hilarious in different ways And my mom and my dad Just

They're just fucking always fucking with me And like in a funny way And you were a kid Yeah it was just always doing jokes My whole family's crazy And so my dad very early on showed me like George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Dom Herrera and just, you know, all comedians. And I loved, I loved watching it as a kid. And I always thought it was cool that like a guy could go on stage with literally nothing.

Yeah. Like you don't need a guitar. You don't need anything. And just talk and keep people entertained. I was like, that's what I want to do. Maybe it was fucking egotistical or what. But like, I just always was the class clown. and it wasn't like how you say like how do you know you wanted to do stand-up it wasn't like

I figured it out it was just always what I was going to do it wasn't yeah it's so weird yeah it is weird but I don't have a thought of oh that's that's what I want to do it was just always kind of I don't know if I believe in destiny but it's like it's just always kind of what I was going to do yeah so like when you do comedy stuff you write bits and then you like practice it or is it just like, because I know people have different processes. Yeah, I think it's good to do a mix of all of the stuff. I think it's good to sit and write and I think it's good to go on stage and work stuff out that you have from your head. Um, but for me, I, I, I, I don't write. I just go on stage and, well, you don't write anything? No, I really don't, man. Holy fuck.

And I know how it sounds like, I don't know if it sounds like, um, because sometimes people are like well how do you flesh a bit out then and um i just kind of do it on stage i'm i think i'm better like under pressure like that's what i've always like making my friends laugh like i like doing that and because it's spur of the moment so i'll go up with like an idea you know and and maybe i'll be like i think that that's funny and if so what i'll do is i'll think of a um a joke or a part that i know people are going to laugh at i'm pretty sure people are going to laugh at something relatable yes and And then I'll do like, I'll see like how long I could talk about it until I get to that point. And if I'm bombing this joke, I'll just get to that point and then I'll be, at least I get that

laugh. And then I'm done with that. I don't know. It either doesn't work or if there's parts of it that work. And then I'll, and then right after that, I'll be like, well, I want to go on again. I'll either go on later on that night or the next day. But that's how I do it. I started writing in the beginning.

And it's just, dude, I think it's just, I don't know if it's. laziness or what, but like, it's so not fun for me to do that. Yeah. You know, and like I have bits. The last bit that I wrote had written out was this bit that I did on this special man on fire. And it was a bit from years before that. And I always hated the bit.

I liked the bit, but I hated that I wrote it out. And so I dropped it. And then it fit in what I was talking about in years later in this special man on fire. And I was like, oh, I can just. use this bit in that and that's the last bit that I actually like physically wrote out I just it's not it's not fun for me are there like the pressure are there any like um like moments because I've filmed videos in the past where like I'll talk about something like really from my heart I'm like and I'll be done and I'll be like damn like where did that come from are there any moments where

you have comedy where you're like where did that come from like where you almost like you you say and then like you'll think about what you said and you're like damn that shit was funny like kind of in your head and you're like it just kind of came out of nowhere yeah oh yeah 100% um yeah i mean that's mostly what a lot of it is i get a lot of the stuff from crowdwork too i would go up and i would do stand up and just talk to people and then i would be like oh i could turn this into a bit but yeah i mean you talk about from the heart i the first two specials like almost like when you're done with it you're like where did that come from almost like how did you create it yeah and and a lot of the times I'll do something on stage and

I'll be like fuck I wish I was recording that I literally don't know like there like it'll be something that I've always thought about but never actually articulated you know and then I'll do it on stage and I'm like fuck I should have recorded that and so I'll run off stage and go in the green room or wherever and I'm like

I'll write it down and I'll be like oh this is what I said these are the beats I said and I fucking I'm like I won't know for a whole other day till I go on stage if I can do it again because a lot of times as a comedian comedians will tell you like you'll do a bit it'll kill and then the next time you do that bit it bombs it's like fucking clockwork man

it's because you're excited about it and it's new and then it works you're like oh this might work and then you have that energy of like oh I hope this works again and I fucking you'll bomb it it happens all the time yeah yeah have you ever had really like really terrible moments like doing stand-up like where you're like fuck

I'm so bad right now oh yeah I had a like people like get the fuck up the stage yeah i had one my first bomb like hard bomb was um i was doing stand-up for about six months i mean i had bomb before but before this but this was like fucking horrible i there's something called a bringer show which i didn't really know what it was you wouldn't know what it is until you do stand-up but uh it's they make everybody come to everybody who's on the show has to like invite their friends

to come see the show so there's an audience right so there's six comics on they say bring 10 people so there's 60 people in the audience right you can't go on if you don't bring the fucking people okay they asked me to do this show like like late notice

and I was like okay you said this is six months into your career yes okay I go on stage I didn't know it was a bringer show and I they wanted because I didn't because so what they'll do is it's the guy who brings the most people they'll make him go last because they don't want the people that he brought to leave after him oh you understand what i'm saying

of course so it's like this whole fucking like it's all it's like this shady show that they put on i don't know anything about this i've only been doing this for six months so they i didn't bring anybody because they asked me last minute put you first or what no they put me last which means they put me right after the guy who brought everybody oh no so I didn't I yeah so I didn't know I didn't understand what was happening but this guy goes up and he's killing because everybody knows him in the audience yeah and I'm thinking wow this audience is so easy if they like him they're gonna fucking love me because he's he's not good and I I think I'm funny and so he went on and then I went on and then I went on and

And it was just like, silence. I mean, it was like this. It was like there was just no laughter. I was doing the jokes that had been working somewhat for six months. They were just sitting there staring at you. Yes. And a few minutes in, I just sat on the stool, which I had never done before, I had always stood up. And I literally said, I don't really know what's going on.

I swear I'm funny. I said that. And then I said, I guess this is just not my night. And then I kept trying to do more bits and bombed. I got off stage and I was like, I didn't, I was like, shell shocked. I was like, I don't know what happened. And then that was when they told me, this guy brought everybody. And I was like, oh.

Okay. Okay. And so I was like, that means I'm not really, I'm not bad. Like, this is just something that happened. LaBreau, I was so new. Yeah. And they were like, nah, it's okay. Like, I was like, okay.

But I'll never forget that. When did you start to, when did you start to really pick up traction in your career? Like in comedy. Like, I think that you need, like, like, you say, like, there's all sorts of stuff that you do, but, like, I think you need, like, like, I think you, I always say to people, like, especially, like, young comics, like, you need three things to make yourself just in people's faces to where they're going to realize who you are. And, like, if you were just a workout guy, you wouldn't be where you are, you know? if you were just a podcast guy, it wouldn't be where you are. You have your workout shit.

You have your content on YouTube. You have this. You know, and like, I had my show on NBC. I had my stand-up and I had Vine. And, like, when those things were all working together was when I started filling up like a theater. You know, like I went from comedy clubs to theaters.

And it was early on, but because I was pretty good with the, social media shit. I realized the power of it, and this was when comedians were like, well, we don't do that shit, we're real comics. And it's like, all right, well, this is the way shit's going. You know, I get the real comedy

thing, but like be a real comic and also do this shit, you know, do Instagram. Yeah, I mean, I think that's kind of common. That's a common thing. Like, I know, like, specifically we're talking about the bodybuilding industry. I remember when it first started coming, it was like, you know, obviously bodybuilder, bodybuilders are like, all this other shit's lame.

Yeah. But you kind of got to get with the times yeah you know so i'm curious like throughout throughout your process of becoming a comic do you think that um do you think that to be a great comic like you have to go through like fucked up shit in your life because i know a lot of people who've said like they have like kind of went through dark shit to be able to like have some sort of like good comedy yeah i mean no i don't think you need to the bottom line is i don't think you need to i think that a lot of people that's their escape it was never really my escape um i was just kind of like i always i talk about on stage you know on stage and one of my specials i had a great childhood i always thought it was weird that like

people always say comedy comes from pain you know it comes from maybe like insecurity but like to say pain is such a hard word yeah um i never looked at it as uh something that you that i never looked at comedy as an escape you know and i know a lot of people do and i always found that interesting because like it's not what I was but that it's not how I felt but a lot of people say that so um you know I feel like that's a good thing you know it's an outlet for people to escape their problems because you know look we've all been through shit in life and like my shit is when I want to just like check out I watch like you know some stupid movie and that's the same thing right as somebody watching

fucking Jerry Seinfeld or whatever the fuck they want to watch you know comedy I just don't watch comedy you don't watch comedy no no like ever ever never holy shit I don't I just I I don't I don't I'm I'm not like I'm hating on it it it's just like I don't I don't know I'd rather watch like some stupid action movie

you're like to me that's funny anyway you know it's like watching a fucking guy kick ass you know it's hilarious so like you know maybe in that way I am watching a comedy in my head but like I don't yeah I don't I don't watch comedy man I don't watch people's specials I don't watch you know I might watch a minute of it to see how it's produced yeah but like yeah I don't happen because like because when you started having to be in it and create it you're kind of

like stepping away from it that sense uh because I like don't like to watch a ton of content anyways I just try and make it yeah yeah yeah also because timing wise I just don't have a ton of time right right right I think that man uh I've seen well when it comes to stand up like I've seen versions of whatever people are doing before you know and um like it's not like oh i know that joke that this guy's telling now but like you know this you can see how they make the sauce you know so it's like um but yeah i i just uh i don't really i don't i don't know i think it's just because i'm in that world i'd rather do something i was like i like if i'm going to sit down and watch tv i'm going to watch a thriller or like yeah you know where do you think your comedy comes from then

Like your style because you have a very unique style Yeah Like delivery and all that shit I think that like Which by the way everyone was like I had Brian on the show And everyone was like he copied He copied your style

On the bar they were like what is he fucking Hanging out of Chris De Leon too much That's hilarious We're just friends So that's why like people said like Yeah but people People by the way love to do that shit Oh you got that from this

He got this just like dude It's such a small community It's like yeah it's very small It's like how many bit Like there's fucking 900 guys Who have a bit about the airport Like they're not all stealing from each other, too. Right.

It's just like, um, but, um, yeah, it's just, uh, would you ask, wait, what did you ask me? Where does it come from? Yeah. Um, because like you're normal, when you're normal, it's completely normal. I can see a little bit of it in it. I thought, yeah, I thought that when, so when I started doing pocket, my podcast is very silly. It's obviously, so congratulations and it's just me bullshit. But like, I always was like, oh, I got to be silly.

This is why people like me and, um, I realized that I don't. have to be like that. Like this is not the medium to just go out and like I'm not going to come on here and do fucking jokes. Like I'd rather just bullshit with you and get to know you. I guess people find that refreshing. It's such a weird thing, dude, because like I don't give a fuck about that kind of stuff. Like the last thing I want to see is like Hugh Jackman and what he does in his daytime. Like I don't give a fuck. I want him to be Wolverine. But like, but like if the thought of Hugh Jackman being on Dax Shepard's podcast is not something I would ever fucking listen to. I don't give a fuck. You want to see Wolverine. I don't care. That's for me. Okay.

And I would talk to my, my fiancee. I'm like, why do people like this shit? Like, I did DeK Sheppers podcast and I got home and she was like, how to go. And I'm like, man, I was boring. And she was like, oh. And then when afterwards, I got so much of love from it. And I'm like, I'm not even doing jokes, dude. Like, I'm just being my boring self.

Yeah. And she was like, you don't get it. People like like that because they relate to you. You're not like a cartoon of a person. You're like, you're a real person. And it's such a weird thing. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 42. Like to think of like the people, the TV stars doing that shit in the 90s.

Like they would never do that. You know what I mean? Ever. Like even there's even still guys like that. Leonardo Caprio, you don't know what he's really like. Zero, yeah. I mean, obviously he's the fucking biggest movie star ever. But like you don't know who these people are like.

And now like they're doing podcasts and shit. And to me, I still am of the old school mentality and I battle it a little bit. I'm like, I don't want to fucking do that shit. But I think part of it is like I'm scared and I'm insecure that people won't fucking like me for any other reason than just me being funny. Yeah. And that's horseshit. It's not true at all. Yeah, it's not true. But it took me and it takes me and it's continually something that I struggle with.

Like I'm on stage now and I talk about, you know, like I don't want to get into it, obviously, but I've had a rough few years and like I, you know, I talk about stuff now and how I've felt and how I've, I've, I've had like, you know, I talk about my son and I want to be a good dad and how I don't want him to make the same mistakes as I do. And like, it's hard to do that because this is from a guy who would talk about how only silly things on his first two specials. you know and I only wanted to talk about silly things because this is what I thought was funny and you talk about where my comedy comes from and in the beginning it was by design I only wanted to talk about the shit that fucking you would talk about at a party and making fun of shit

and being silly and get a reaction and get a reaction I didn't want to fucking talk about the stuff that I went through or the stuff that is going on in the world because to me I just wanted to have a fucking good time and make people laugh. And now I'm 42 and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to talk about where I am in my life.

And I want to talk about what it's like to be somebody who's been going through shit because that's what I want to. And I kind of get it now, you know? Well, that's what really matters. I mean, my whole purpose of this podcast in general is to talk to people who I think have done amazing things and trying to figure out like how they got there, how they work through the moments like. Because truthfully, like you say, yeah, of course,

someone's going to get engaged with you and be like, man, I love this comedy, I love this style, I love this guy's personality, all the jokes, the shit's funny. But it's getting to a different point, like in society with all these different platforms, specifically social media and like podcasting in general, is like people want to know more about you,

about like the person. So that's why like this is so enjoyable to me because my whole goal with this podcast, this specific podcast is just to get to know you and like your process and how you got to where you are because the person who like, there might be tons of kids who are like, I love this guy's comedy,

I love what he does. I want to, you know, live a life like his, like, because now you see everyone's like, you know, highlight real life, whatever we're doing on social media. And how you actually get there is by not necessarily the act of comedy, but like, what makes this person tick? What makes this person happy? What makes this person sad?

Because that's who you really are. Yeah, yeah. And for you to create comedy is based on all those things, right? So now you're saying you get to a point in your life where you're like, you said 43? 42, yeah. 42. And it's like, now you want, it's kind of changing.

And you could still find comedy and create comedy out of all those. Those things that is still relatable to everyone. Yeah. Make ship happen. Shout out to one of our sponsors, ShipStation. Listen, I have personal experience for ShipStation. I've actually used it for years for being fit gear, which you guys now know as raw gear,

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give him a shot shipstation.com use promo code raw talk let's get back in this podcast like doing that was all by design for me like I'm literally like I want to talk about this silly shit

as long as I can because eventually I'm going to have to grow up and have kids, whatever is it, you know, I didn't know I want a kid until I had Calvin, but I didn't know, I didn't want to do that or I wanted to do that until I couldn't anymore.

Because I didn't want to be this fucking 55-year-old comic to talk about fucking dicks and like just, you know, farting and shit. And now I'm not. I'm, you know, I'm doing other shit. And it's good because you want your audience to also grow with you, you know? Like, I mean, like, my, my demo was like, you know, fucking 18 to 40. And they're, they get older, dude.

And like, like, it's like, last guy I want to be is the guy on fucking, you know, I don't want to be a 60-year-old comedian to talk about the new fucking app that came out, you know? It's like. Yeah, because it's also kind of becomes not just genuine, but like you're, it's not on your timeline. It's not on your timeline. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, it makes sense. but so you've obviously gone to shit

go through a bunch of shit do you use that as inspiration for your comedy now like you were saying yeah I mean yeah you have to I don't know I mean a lot of people you know

there are people that go through shit and either don't talk about it and then there are people who use it to kind of become a better version of themselves artistically and also just as a human and I'd rather do that you know

Because the opposite is death, I feel like, you know? I mean, I see comedians that are older and not even just comedians and just guys who don't understand who they are. And they're not even trying to figure out who they are. And they just kind of fall to the wayside. And I don't even mean... And when you say not trying to figure out, you mean just through like avoidance of things? Yeah, yeah. And I don't even mean like like artistically or or in the business like you know the

me the business to me making it and getting more and being bigger and being more famous or whatever the fuck you want to say was always my goal until I realized it wasn't and it's just you know I I want to be um first of foremost I want to be Calvin's dad I want to be a good to my friends and that's what's most important and if I lead with that then the art comes second but also I think it's better because like I'm I'm being a person first yeah you know which is why now I talk about more about myself and I'm not necessarily doing you know the silly shit anymore but that was all by it was all a plan it this Everything that has happened to me in my whole life obviously wasn't planned, but I always tried to plan it out, you know.

I wanted to be this fucking cool comedian that was talking about guys and girls and fucking, you know, this guy came up to me and did this and I was like, I said this. But now it's, I don't want to do that anymore, you know. And if people don't like it, like, it's okay because I have everything that anyone could ever want, which is like a family and like, you know, I have. that actually love me yeah yeah yeah but i didn't even think about that man in the in the beginning like it was all about my career i remember when i first got with christin my fiance i was like i i you got to understand my my career is more important than anything number one yeah and and she was like you know i understand that um and i was like that's my dream girl yeah yeah and uh did you have religious part of that where it was like not where yeah it was always button heads and i get it like

You know, it's like your business, it can be the most important thing, but not if you're trying to build a relationship and build a family and stuff. So I talk to, so now, you know, I say, dude, I saw, I remember when I was a kid, I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, and I was watching this show of stand-up comedians. It was like a showcase show, comedians would come on, and they'd interview the comedian before their set, and they interviewed Dennis Miller before he did his set. And they were interviewing Dennis Miller and they were like, so what, so comedy is so important to you, right? And he was like, yeah.

And he was like, what else is important to you? And they said, my family, my kids. And they said, well, what's more important? And he said, well, I love comedy. But, I mean, if it comes down to my family, I wouldn't do comedy for another day in my life. I'd quit right now. And I remember thinking like, wow, what a bitch. Like, he's not a real comedian.

Like as a 16 year old, yeah. Oh, shit. I was like, that's me. I was like, fuck that. And now I'm like, wow. Well, yeah. I mean, that's a 16 year old talking. But if you ask me at 30, I probably would have sent the same thing.

But now, I mean, there's no question, man. There's no question. It just. You think the kid changed everything? Everything. Everything. I mean, I came to talk about him without fucking crying. I mean, he's just like, he's just the best thing that, he's the best.

You're not dad, right? No, I want to be, though. Do you? Good. Yeah. It's, I never thought, I didn't know if I want to be a dad or not, you know? I didn't know until about a few years ago. Yeah.

Took me time. I didn't know if I wanted to be a dad or not because I was a selfish dude and I got with my girl now and I was like, she just obviously would be such a good mom. She wanted kids and I was like, she kind of turned me around and I was like, yeah, you know, so we did it. We had a kid and I'm getting crazy deja vu right now. Really? Yeah, I said to say that. That was really weird. Like you had been interviewing somebody.

Like 100% we've done this exactly. Oh, really? The people say that means we're on the right track. I hope that. I hope so. But yeah. How do you know, you said this about it. I'm sorry.

I remember I interrupted you. They're going to be mad at me. They like to talk shit when I do this. But you said you knew she'd be a good mom. How do you know that's? How did you know that? You know, sometimes you just meet people and you know how you meet people and you're like, oh, that person, as a comedian, you'd be like, oh, that person should be a comedian.

They should do stand up. Yeah. It's just like that. you're like, oh, you'd be such a great mom. Like, you just know. Yeah, she's this beautiful woman that is very caring and easygoing, and her mom's great. And, you know, it's just like, all the, the deck is stacked. And so, and she is a great mom.

And you never know. But I was always like, am I going to be a good dad? I have no fucking idea. And it's funny, he was born, Calvin was born. and when he was born, I never cried. I just don't, I do now, but I like, I never used to cry. And he was born and I cried and I cried for, it was about two weeks that anything could have made me just,

I was just so happy. And he just opened me up, man. It's just, I don't even know how to talk about it because it still feels that way and I'm still in it, but he's just, I don't know, I fucking, I don't want to be one of those boring guys that's just like, yeah, I've got the best kid, but like, I don't, I don't know. I've got the best kid for me, that's for sure. No, I mean, there's nothing wrong with thinking that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what you mean, like prior to this, you just were like more insensitive or something? Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, when you, like, I was with him today and, and before I left, he was just like, he was playing with. We had his friends over and I had to leave. And I was like, what are you doing, buddy? he was like, I'm playing with Carter and Hudson.

And it was just like, just that is like, it's just like the fucking, God damn it, dude. It's almost like it pisses you off because you're like, you're fucking up my whole day in like a good way. Now I've got to think about how like cute you are and how amazing it is. It's just great, man. And you see him sharing toys and it's just like,

this is what life's about, man. Yeah, simple shit. Yeah, really, man. Did you ever, did you ever any other moments in your life prior to like this realization? Like, where you were younger, you're like life is about simple things? Or was it always?

Because you said you're 16 You were like Fuck that bitch Who didn't want to be only a comic Were you always hardcore Until you're like This shit opened you up? I mean it sounds silly

Because like I was from my fucking I'm from this town That was like Yeah I mean I'm originally from New Jersey But like you know We moved to Locked out of Which is a great place And it's not like I'm from

But yeah I always remember having that fucking chip On my shoulder Like And being like Friends Like friends will like never be like they'll always like backstab you or like show their true colors and people don't change and um yeah i just was always but did you learn that through moat like through people yeah i i

went through something uh when i was 16 where my my my girlfriend broke up with me and my friend and my best friend started dating her and i was like it was at such a formative moment in my life that really fucked me up dude and um it was at that point This sounds funny, but it's true. It was at that point I found Tupac's music, and I was like, that fucking completely solidified who I was in my head. Damn.

Yeah. That's fucking funny. It's really funny. I know it's really funny. I fucking laughed at a funny. You were like, wait a second. I get this. Yeah, I know.

So silly. Some dude from Lacken Yada just fucking, like, being like, yeah, I wouldn't, yeah. Fuck bitches and get money, you know? And just so silly. And I just carried that with me, bro. I legitimately as silly as it is, I carried it with me until in my, just, man, it's just silly, you know.

And I realize that now, but it really affected me, bro. And so I never really, like, let the moments hit me. I never let the moments hit me. I never let the moments hit me. Dude, I wouldn't even listen to emotional music. I fucking was like, why do you want to listen to this shit, man? It pulls fake shit out of you that you're not even thinking. I would say this.

And Kristen's like, I just want to listen to. country please and I'm just like fuck that shit it's all about it just contrived trying to make you sad I still hate country but it's a little different yeah but but now I'm you know I'm I'm a little open to listening to I try do it it it's hard but like it's funny how it's always girls that end up doing this because I have a moment in my life prior to meeting my girl of I talk about this often on the podcast but I did a girl for eight years a very on and off tumultuous relationship great person but prior to meeting her I dated this girl who who just like twisted me the fuck up

where when I got done with that relationship I was so hurt that I was like fuck bitches I'm getting money fuck everyone everyone's trying to take advantage of me I'm gonna take advantage of everyone everything and then I met her and it like obviously blood into that relationship and fucked it all up but I remember that exact feeling of like

fuck everything but the crazy part about that is that was at a point in my life my early 20s where as as fucked up as it was the moment that I was coming from and it completely ruined that relationship, it also put my mindset in this like, I'm going to crush it. Yeah. Like I'm going to get it. So there was a benefit. Obviously, a con as well. But yeah. No, I mean, it happens. It's like a lot of successful people come from that mindset. You know what I mean? And it's like finding the balance is really fucking hard, especially for somebody in their 20s. Yeah. You know, and for me, I feel like

it happened to me late, but like I try to be about the balance. Like I don't want to like, like, I mean before COVID I was doing so many shows and my agent would be like you want to do this show and if you do this show it's more money and if you do this show it's this and then you fly to fucking Wisconsin

and do this show and I'm like fuck yeah let's and I was like why why why for what my life doesn't change if I make extra money I'm still in this house I'm still fucking you know doing what I do every day like what am I trying to do what am I trying to get to

so at what age is you start to realize that this is before COVID then so two years yeah I mean it's been it's been that long it's been it's like COVID changed things like I took a break like I remember we we got like when COVID happened for they were like all right everyone's going to stay home for two weeks oh my fucking god this is the crazy yeah and I was like okay I'll be home for two weeks we could do this shit before that I had not the longest I had not done shows for were in a row we're 10 days in my whole career I had not gone

more than 10 days and not done a show that's 14 years so I was like all right I could do two weeks that's 14 days let's see if we can get through it

and then we'll come back everyone will be fucking healthy and obviously we know what happened but after like a week and a half or two or three weeks I was like oh I think oh I can just chill like I got into it

I was like I wasn't itching to get on stage i was like everybody's in the same boat turned on fucking love island or whatever fuck i'm watching on reality tv to hang out with calvin be a dad and i got into it dude and i got into it for a year and a half um and just kind of i knew in the back of my head i guess i got to get on state i mean there was a while i was like maybe i just won't do fucking stand up but like you thought you weren't going to do it again yeah yeah i did like ever yeah because i mean you know i i i just wasn't sure you know I just wasn't sure if I wanted to get back in that game and um the COVID and it really fucking I you know I lost a lot of friends because of everything but like

I lost friends just because of COVID man people lost their minds because of COVID oh my God I mean you know like I have four friends yeah that just like look I don't hate them or anything but it's just like okay I don't know what else to talk to you about yeah it was talking about the same thing over and over again it did get crazy yeah like crazy to the point where you whether you believe this or that whatever was side doesn't matter but it got to this weird moment like which not even politically speaking but it's like it's just divided the fuck out of people because some people felt this or felt that it did I remember being like oh I I can't even yeah talk to you about it because then it was like almost like every conversation came back to that yeah it's like yo just fucking

let's go forward i know and bro i don't i actually don't give a fuck what you believe i don't care i know people say that but like dude i don't care who you voted for i don't give a shit yeah i don't care i don't fucking care and so like this whole like silences violence thing it's like no no some people just want to chill yeah you know just because i'm not out there marching doesn't mean that i'm racist yeah it's like you know it was a crazy time it was it was insane everything was political and then especially social media because like if you because if you had some sort of platform and like i remember people messaging me like why aren't you talking about this is like i don't know enough about this shit like i can't say things that i don't know about they bully you into it it was

fucking crazy man i know people i know celebrities who had to say things because they knew if they didn't say things that they would be attacked by yeah aside being like why aren't you talk about this and they lose you lose deals too it's like why didn't you it's like i posted that black square when everyone posed that black square and i'm like i guess this is the thing to do and then afterwards I'm like I don't even really know what that means what the fuck this is not saving anybody's life it's fucking crazy I do Instagram I fucking do silly shit like why am I posted this fucking black square yeah you got a thousand people being like why the fuck you're not doing this wow bro dude it's so weird it's like an episode of South Park so I'm like it really it really is now I'm not posting shit about now I don't know about anything yeah I know about me I'll post about me yeah you're not gonna bully me in a post in some shit silence is violence violence yeah fuck off yeah it's a weird that was a really weird time yeah like a super weird time yeah and i mean it just became like a just a i don't know man people just attacked everyone was home losing their minds and fucking mad at everything and um yeah so i don't know man and then it's like you know you read

the news and it's like fucking that's the thing it's like people are like well look into it and then you look into it and then like if you could just keep you could just support your side no matter what yeah you know what i was fucking like there's like there's like there's There's so much information out there that you can support your side. So I don't even trust that. Yeah, well, I mean, even in that of itself is like the way social media

and algorithms, all this stuff works is like even just news outlets, it's like they push one side, they push the other side, whichever one, right? But the algorithm, like on Instagram, on apps, on Facebook, whatever you are looking into, it just gives you more of that. Right, right, right. So you just go down a rabbit hole,

which whatever rabbit hole you started on, you're probably going to go deeper into it. I go into fucking rabbit hole sometimes. I don't so much anymore, but I go into rabbit hole. and then your fucking YouTube page changes and you're just like, all right,

I got to click not interested in all this shit so make a clean my shit up. It's weird. It is weird. That's the, I would say that's like the, the cat's 22 with this whole social media.

It's such a cool thing. But there is like this, the subliminal like push of stuff that if you kind of start going, it keeps coming. I know. I know. It's a very interesting fucking time,

man. It wasn't like this 10 years ago. No, I remember when like Twitter and shit and Instagram started and people were just like saying crazy shit. shit was because you could yeah and it was all part of it and now that shit that you're said fucking 15 years ago can just literally yeah come back and fuck yeah and so i don't know man i

don't know i you know i i it's it's a fucking weird time and i just try to remember people are people and everyone's got their own shit and you know yeah i think people forget i think i think it's easy too on the internet to like if you're a fan or you're a fan or you're a for someone who watch this and you like consume this content. It's very easy to get one side of something and just like not at all ever even see their side. Even if the other side has ever even put out there, it's like you, you, you mean, maybe like you see it one side and then the other side gets get out, but like you don't even see

it because it's the algorithm. It's just a very weird time. It's very easy for people to jump on things and talk shit and talk about this, talk about that. And it's just, it's frustrating as a creator, as someone who's been doing it for so long. But at the same time, like I realize it's just. part of the game then you just got to keep going forward it's also like i'm sure like you're you're very big on and stuff and a lot of people know who you are like i mean people talk shit about

anyone who's big right so like it's to not to remember that that's not actually like real life it's like i'm sure you walk around everyone's like hey bro you know what i'm like nobody's like ah it's that fucking dumb as shit workout like they don't actually believe that they're just and i don't know you're i don't know if you get hate or what i fucking have i got a ton of hate but I'm not sitting looking at your negative comments but like you know everyone gets hate so like it's like people people hate on me and then I see them I see them yeah and they're like what's up bro and I'm like let's get a photo what yeah so it's fucking and I've approached people too like I you know um I remember there was I talked about this on my podcast but um there was a comedian

that would like that like would just talk shit about me and I approached him And I went to therapy beforehand, about my group therapy is a bunch of people in there. And I was asked, and I was like, I got a show tonight with this dude. And he talked shit about me on the internet. He's on the list as well. Yes. Yeah. And I'm really angry.

And I want to, I want to, I want to fucking, I want to confront him, you know. And they're like, what do you want to say? And I want to, and I, like, what do you feel like? you want to say and I was honest with them and I said I feel like I want to go up to him and say a motherfucker I'm here now why you on this show if you're talking shit like fuck you you're a bitch yeah because you talk shit online and here you are uh you're welcome for all for this for the people in the crowd by the way you know what I mean yeah you're welcome for all these tickets I sold motherfucker yeah that's my ego right

but that's what I wanted to that's what I in my head that was the fantasy and said the dudes who are very smart and in therapy with me i need this actually right now yeah yeah yeah i think we all do but yeah different levels but um and they said and then what do you think if you did that then what do you think would happen and i said i don't know um he'll probably be like fuck that what are you fucking coming at me all hot for fuck you and then they said and then what And then I said, and then I'll be like, yeah, well, but you're a bitch. And I'm having this conversation with these fucking people in my therapy. And my therapist is there too, this 60 year old lady.

And I'm like, and then I'll be like, you're a fucking bitch. And then they said, and then what? And I was like, and I was like, I don't know. Maybe like he'll want to fight or something. Or maybe he won't. Maybe we'll just get in a big argument. And then they're like, and then what? And then I said, and then, uh,

We'll go on stage at different times. We'll do our shows. And they're like, okay. And then they said, what if, they said, why are you so angry at this guy? And I said, because he talks shit. And they're like, but why are you angry? And I said, because he shouldn't do that. And they said, why?

And I said, because he's a comedian. And he should like, at least. He doesn't have to have my back, but don't carry on with the mob. Like, he should understand that this is a community. And they're like, and that bothers you? And I said, yeah, I guess so. And they were like, why? And I said, I don't know.

They kept asking why until I eventually said, until I eventually said, I mean, I don't know what to say. It really hurts my feelings. Yeah. Yeah. So then one of the guys said, well, what if when you get to the impassee, prove you walk up to him so you hurt my feelings and tell him that you hurt that he hurt your feelings yeah yeah and i said but yeah but then you won't know like how angry i am and they were like but you're angry because your feelings are hurt right and i was like yeah and then they were like

if you go in and if you tell him that he hurt your feelings what do you think he'll say And I said, well, he'll probably feel really bad. And he said, don't you think that's a better outcome? And you'll achieve what you wanted to achieve anyway, is making him feel badly about what happened rather than getting defensive and want to fight? And I was like, yeah, you're probably right. And so I fucking left. And I went to the show and I'm like,

I can't believe I'm going to tell this motherfucker that he hurt my God damn feelings. I get to the show. And you're like, fuck you. No, no, no. I get to the show and I see the guy. And he says, hey, what's up, man? And I say, hey, I got to talk to you, man. Like, you're killing you.

I got to, I, uh, I went through like a really hard time and like a lot of people were talking shit about me. and I just want you to know that, you know, you were a part of that, and it really hurt my feelings. And, dude, the look on his face was like, oh, he said, I did? And I said, yeah, like, you did, you talked some shit. And he was like, I don't even remember doing that. And I said, why, I Googled it earlier just to make sure and it's still there. and he was like oh

I feel badly and I said I know you to be a good guy he opened for me before and so it just didn't really add up to who the relationship we had and it made me feel really badly

and he said oh I like to think I'm not one of those people that does that he had to go on stage he got off stage and he said hey he had a great set he's a good comedian and he was like I

hey dude I don't remember doing that but if I did you said I did and I'm sure I did I'm really fucking sorry and I was like it's all good dude I know you to be a good dude and I appreciate you saying that

and fuck it and it went about as well as it could have either the guy is lying does remember that he did it which I understand that because you don't some people don't like

They want to own up to the shit. Especially comedians. Like, bro, I might do the same thing in a certain time of my life. But or he truly doesn't remember it. In which case, this is how crazy the shit is when the mob comes after you. And like, people aren't thinking about, oh, this is a person. But it ended up being okay. And, you know, he is a good guy, dude.

You know, I like the guy. Shout out to one of our sponsors, Cushy Dreams. Listen, I just I still I'm still asking you guys where is the where's the pre-roll pump? That's what I want. That's what I I want this on my doorstep ASAP, but listen it's CBD. I'd rather smoke CBD instead of ingested for the most part Honestly, because I just like the vibes the vibes are nice the vibes stay nice and you don't get twisted You don't like super high where you feel super paranoid super anxious. It's actually pretty relaxing But yeah, this is the this is the energy version of it and since I'm about to go to the gym like that That's better than obviously the dream one because I'm not trying to go to sleep.

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how much do they get off phone then 25% off that's a lot what 25 promo code raw talk do it right now and we're gonna get back into this podcast i have a question like you know the the guy talking shit or whatever obviously um where do you think like that kind of stuff comes from do you think the the talking the shit like listening to the mob all the bullshit like following that that trend that line is it is it do you think someone is trying to like validate themselves or trying to make themselves feel better or trying to make you look bad so they look good like where do you think it's coming from i mean i think it i think it can be a you know a myriad of reasons but i that's a good word it's a great word by the way yeah yeah i don't know if i've ever said it that was amazing holy

i sounded phony when i said it oh but it is it could be a myriad yeah yeah i i think well people are bullied into speaking that whole silence is violence thing is crazy to me but like if you don't say something you're part of the problem is crazy to me because very rarely do we know

about a situation we're not involved with anyway so it's like you know sure does this cause or this organization sound good as a headline yeah it does you know but who knows

you know it's like yes black lives matter that sounds great to me and then you read the thing about how the fucking lady was gave all the money to buy the fucking house yeah so it's like all right well what do i believe i have no fucking idea right and that by the way just because she did that doesn't mean that it's a bad organization it just like that that could be just a weak moment i don't know anything about it dude i don't know her i don't know i'm not black you know what i mean it's not it's not a personal thing to me should it be i don't know but you know i think that bully people into you're going to be on the wrong side of history you know and i also think it does make people feel better about stuff uh about themselves um you know like i mean people get get like

dragged for all sorts of shit um you know like chapelle you know i mean they're at the end of the day it's just words ready what he's saying right and i get how that could hurt people's feelings And look, as a comedian, I'm never, I promise I'm never trying to hurt anybody's feelings. Like, just never. I'm trying to do the opposite. I'm trying to make you laugh. And so is Chappelle. And so is all the other comedians.

And so this thought of, he said this about trans people or whatever the fuck, get on board with fuck Dave Chappelle. or you're the reason why trans people are dying is is is is is something that when somebody says that to you you might think oh well they say they get you like this do you want trans people to be dying and you're like well no and they say oh okay well then you're part of us and you're like well yeah I guess and then you're like yeah fucks Dave Chappelle and but it's but you're like wait hold on hold on it's not about that I don't want trans people to die but also what Dave Chappelle

was saying it's a fucking joke right or it's like the cue shit the Q-in-on stuff they're like you know some people are like Joe Biden's a lizard you know that and they're like no he's not and they're like but you want to save the children and you're like yeah of course and they're like come on and you're like okay and you're like marching and you're like okay and okay well Joe Biden maybe not a lizard but the children we want to save the children and then before you know it you're like yeah Joe Biden's a fucking lizard you know yeah but that's how they get you and that's what that's what the mob mentality is yeah you know it's like it's just it's an insane thing they also don't realize that like it turns into like bro the the like all like these are like death

I was talking to like a comedian that got canceled the other day and he was like dude the amount of death threats you get is just and I've gotten death threats like It's not something that makes you feel anything, but like when you're getting death threat after death threat after death threat, it's impossible to not think maybe it's better off if I am dead, you know? And it's and it fucks with you, dude. It fucks with you. And and the shit is real. And it's, you know, it's it's it's a shame because. like this comedian that I was talking to

he didn't deserve that you know and and he's a good guy I know the guy yeah and back then when he got canceled for what it was it was something he said the community felt it they were like oh we should speak out on this but that's all bullshit man you don't know the situation

like I'm not about speaking on shit for clicks like there's something like I want to be a person before that. I don't give a fuck. If you don't want to watch my podcast, don't watch my podcast. But I'm not talking about the ongoing drama with this

because of that and this in the community. And it's like, I don't know the situation. Or I do know the situation. And those guys are my friends. And I don't want to make it worse for them. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Because this shit affects people, man. Yeah, it does. Genuinely. I think it's frustrating because, like, I don't know, the mob mentality on the outside, like outside of the social. like just from the audience. I don't think they really truly realize that

or they do and they don't care because they just jumped on the bandwagon and it's like a comfortableness and it's like fuck it. Because it is like you're talking about real people's like lives their businesses, their brands, like who they are. Yeah. And I just wonder like, I don't know, is it,

you know, when you talk bad about someone else, is it just for your own benefit? And that's the thing that gets Catch 22 to me. It's like, wait, you're like, because I'm talking about not as like a fan, talking shit but like as another a comic or another person in your industry right because I deal with this in my own way in a different

industry where it's like is your intention like you're trying to make someone else look like a bad person or enforce that and you know the audience is mine but like what's your what's your reason for that remember we're talking about like why would you what you really want to say to that person right so it's like what is that person really trying to get

out of making you look bad is it to make them look good so they can sell tickets so they can look righteous I don't know yeah maybe I mean yeah that could be one of the myriad of reasons But I Yeah And you know look We all talk shit

I I try not to But I do You know And and a lot of times It's under the guise of like Oh but I'm being I'm joking I try not to come from

Like a shitty place But you know There was just a comic last night That I I walked up to And I You know we had a discussion And I was like

You know I talk He's you know We've built butt heads before And I've told him I was like Dude I I talk so

I've talked so much shit about you and I just like I shouldn't have and I feel badly and like you know I don't want to be doing that and it's just um I just as long as you're you're trying to keep your side of the street clean it's good but I think it gets mixed up and convoluted with like the social aspect of it whereas it's like but I want to seem like a good person I want to I want to make sure I want acceptance from other people that I'm a good person you know when that's not what makes you a good person what makes you a good person is what you do in your life positively you know um yeah so and and dude there's a lot you know of there's a lot of a mental illness in the world dude and like we

don't i think that we forget about that sometimes you know i know this whole everyone's like yeah take a mental health day we'll speak out for mental illness but like you know these people are real people. Like, remember, remember everyone had the crazy uncle that you would invite for Thanksgiving? All those dudes found each other on Reddit. Yeah. You know what I mean? And there's hundreds of thousands of those motherfuckers. There's millions of those motherfuckers. And they're saying shit. And you don't know that they're mentally unwell. So you're like, yeah, you know what? I do want to save the children. And before you know it, you're sucked in thinking that fucking Biden's a lizard because of these motherfuckers. And you wouldn't even sit with them.

during Thanksgiving you know it's a yeah the internet's a crazy place it's crazy man yeah you know I go back and forth on like the free speech of it all and yeah you know I'm for free speech obviously but I'm a comedian but then there's like okay well what's bullying yeah and and should that happen and yeah it's free speech to say fuck you die but also should that be online yeah you know and now that I'm a dad, I think, about Calvin growing up in that way. And him having to deal with that shit. Yeah. I mean, there's people online that talk shit about

him, you know, and he's too. And unfortunately, it's the stuff that has to, you got to live with as a, as a celebrity, and also not even just as a celebrity, because everybody's a celebrity now. Yeah. You know? Everyone's got, you know,

you got a thousand followers. You got 600 followers you there are days where you're like fuck yeah dude i'm a big deal and then 600 people know you are you fill those 600 people fill in a room that that's a good fucking payday man yeah i think the reality whether celebrity or not i think in life in general like you and your own circle your little your your own ecosystem you're going to have the similar dynamics yeah yeah because it just seems to be like human nature to like yeah you know right point fingers say this or you did that whatever it's just it's it's it's definitely magnified on the internet Yeah.

To a degree that can like really, like you said, like the death hurts, all the stuff that could really hurt someone. And I mean, I'm not, I'm not speaking in any situation for you specifically. I know I've dealt with a bunch of shit over all the years that I've done it. And I don't know. I just, I guess, try to pose the question like, what's the fucking point of it truly? Like, because are you really good, is there anything like positive coming out of it? It seems like it just seems to just be like a.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's a good question. I'd have to think about that. Just fucking tear people down just to tear them down. It's a good question. I'd have to think about that. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, I don't know. It's weird when people are, it's also like people are so worried now. Like the people are so worried, can I say this? Should I do this? Is it okay to say this? I don't want to get fucking, you know, I don't want to lose my deal or whatever it is.

You know, and it's like, living like that is so fucking stressful, bro. Yeah. you know i mean you got your sponsors and shit and it's just like i don't know man it's too much to think about almost but i guess you know you think of like a comedian and capitalism is a real thing like if people want to go see the guy they're going to go see the guy yeah and uh you know if you sell tickets they sell tickets so take you know Louie or whoever the fuck um you know they say well like oh yeah he's doing shows and

he abused his power but it's like so what's he supposed to do then you know you say do better okay well let him yeah you know I don't know what the answer is I don't know what the answer is but yeah people definitely like to I don't know it's it's almost like It's an interesting thing because, like, people, we talk and we believe so much in, like, the ability to grow and self-growth, but then you don't want it for other people when they want it for themselves. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's, I don't know. I wish I did, dude. I wish there was an answer, you know. But this is just one of those things. It's also, like, still new, like, the social aspect on this grand scale. It's a new thing, you know? Like I said, actors used to be like, like, I was think about like, like, Harrison Ford was like a huge fucking movie star. And like, whenever he would walk around people, though, wow, that's Harrison Ford.

But there were people at home that would be like, fuck Harrison Ford. But you just. But I don't know though, because like you would only know him from his, unless he played a bad character. There might have been less about that. But like, but there were guys who like, I don't like that guy. He looks like a guy that fucked my girl. or some shit, you know? Sure. And like now all those people are like nobody like there are no movie stars anymore like that. Like even we saw it, Will Smith, you know, if that happened in the

80s, it would have came, they would have reported on it, it would have been gone. Yeah. But Will Smith is a person and people fuck up and do dumb it, dumb. If you were to ask Will Smith, hey, what do you think about what you did? He would have been like, that was dumb as shit. Yeah. I've met him once or twice and he doesn't seem like a guy that goes around smacking people. No, nice guy. You know? And he seems like he's doing good things

for the world. You know, he entertain I know he makes a lot of money at it, but he entertains the world. He pulls people out of dark places with his fucking movies and, you know, what he did was fucking stupid. I'm obviously a fan of Chris Rock. I got Chris Rocks back. I'm a comedian.

I think that it's bullshit. Will Smith did that. I think it's bullshit. shit that Amy Schumer didn't say something about it afterwards being Chris Rock's friend people do dumb shit and you know it's stupid they didn't remove Will Smith right there from the

Oscar I think fucking won and he got a standing ovation and then they're like okay now later we're gonna yeah because they feel oh wait we're all mad about this yeah yeah okay we got to do something so it's like but that's insane that the the group thing is becoming like a problem it's a fucking crazy thing it's weird bro it's weird Like people lose, like you said, that you lose,

where do I actually stand because they just go, oh, they're all standing over there, so I'm standing over there now. People, people, like, guys like Will Smith, Joe Rogan, they try to cancel him, you know, it's like, I'm just fucking crazy. But like they're too big, you know, especially like a guy like Joe Rogan who's just going to be, like he makes his own money.

It's not through, you know, I mean, he's got a Spotify deal, but he could be like, I don't know, just pay for a subscription instead. I don't, if Spotted by was like, no, we're going to drop you. Yeah. Then he would still be fun. He could just go on a platform and fucking crush, you know. Or make his own platform, fuck. Exactly.

So you can't really, you know, I don't know why they come for somebody like Joe Rogan because it's just not going to work. But like, I think they feel good when they get certain guys, you know, actors have to be fucking careful because Hollywood is a woke fucking place. Yeah. You know, if you're just a guy in movies or TV, you got, oh man, you got. to be terrified even if you didn't do shit you're like who knows i'm a good person but they come from they come for good people sometimes yeah so yeah so yeah crazy this is pulling shit up too yeah it's

interesting time man but social media it just makes it it it's it's it's what made it the way it is now it's it's made it like fucking 10 times worse but um so for you in comedy do you you you said earlier like you thought about never doing it again like you you you know you're like all the way in you would never stop or wouldn't when do you think you would stop is there like an end to this like where do you go obviously the podcast stuff yeah i love doing my podcast um and i love doing stand-up again um the first month or two when i came back i it was a struggle um i did it for i honestly did it because of calvin i wanted him to know that you can um you know you can do you can do what you can do it you know you don't have to be scared and um and so i did it for

for him and i kept doing it for him and now i'm finally doing it coming back to it for me yeah yeah um so calvin got me through that um and uh yeah he's just um yeah i love doing it i i i'm having a lot of fun doing it um and it's it's it's you know now and now i'm at the point where i don't see You know, I don't look online, but if I ever hear about some sort of hater thing, I just book another show because... Just keep going. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I just want to... I'm going to do stand-up. Yeah. Hell yeah. I love it, man. I think you're one of the fucking funniest comedies. Oh, thank you, man. Straight up.

Thank you. Before I ever met you, obviously, years ago, I met you in that moment. I remember being like, oh, man, cool. Yeah. And then, but prior to that, I'd watch your stuff. Like, I'd have been a fan. And I was dope, like, full circle people come here and have this conversation with you about it. Well, yeah, I don't do many podcasts, but I know you're a good dude and I've liked you.

And I know we have mutual friends. And I just think what you're doing is really cool, man. Like, I, you're an interesting dude to me. Like, because I've seen your stuff, obviously, and I follow you on Instagram and all that shit. And I look at your YouTube videos and sometimes. And sometimes I'm like, what the fuck is he doing lifting nine people? on like a fucking yeah it's dumb shit but you know there's this whole other side of you that is like a really good savvy fucking businessman and you're you seem like a good dude so i'm like yeah i don't

know i fucking i like who you portray yourself as so i was i was all in and i wanted to come do this yeah yeah i appreciate it yeah of course so i have a i have a question about that how how can you as someone who's gone to all the shit in your life how how do you perceive someone as a good person how can you tell well I don't know if you can but you try to because you've got to hope for the best because if you don't then you're just going to have this thing where it's like you're not trusting anybody and you can't live like that you know yeah um dude I mean in my life everybody was my friend I met people and if they got my humor you know like some people would be like he's a dick they just didn't get that I'm joking right but like if you got it I was in man I'd love to make

new friends. I loved having my crew people. I love people, dude. I just love how weird they are, how different they are. And yeah, one of my favorite things in the world is people watch. It's just, yeah, it's just, yeah, it's so fun. And like, so you never can really judge people and people surprise you in horrible ways. And then they surprise you in really fucking great ways too, you know. But I just, you can never know, but I, I definitely just hope for the best. And it's an energy thing. It's funny, too. My mom would be like, you better find a wife before you get, like, you're just getting more and more famous.

You better find a wife that, like, loves you for you. Loves you for you. Yeah. And I remember thinking like, yeah, that's true. And then she was like, you better, you know, she would just keep coming back to this. And I'm like, you know what? Actually, I'm not an idiot. And like, I'm not going to marry somebody that I don't, that doesn't like me for me.

I'm just going to think I am good enough and understand enough about people to know that I'll be smart enough to find the right person. And once I realized that, I was like, oh yeah, and then I did, you know? It's like there's this whole idea of don't trust anyone and, you know, Tupac. Yeah. Fuck these motherfuckers. Yeah. And, you know, I'm sure if Tupac grew up and he would be about 60 now. I probably would look at that Tupac and be like, yeah, you could trust some people though, you know.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, okay, I got a question. That's, that's interesting. You said something about energy. Did you, have you, is that new for you? This idea of energy like the vibe, understanding people. But I, you know, I don't. I got to keep my circle tight. You know, it makes me new people. I've always been the kind. I've always. been the kind of person that walks into a room and any room and felt like I need to win people over because I think that they're not going to like me. I don't know where that comes from. Yeah, where does that come from? I don't know. I'm in therapy. I'm going to talk about it all the time.

And my therapist is like, you know, you should. That's a horrible way to live, you know, because of the sadness. And I'm just like, yeah, you're right. I guess I never actually really thought about that. But when I walk into a room, any room, if I'm going to get coffee. I think I think still to this day yeah it's a struggle man like I I'll walk in and I'll think like oh that person probably doesn't like maybe they don't like my comedy or maybe like maybe I know somebody that they know that doesn't like me and they talk shit yeah it's really fucking weird I don't know where it comes from but um my therapist used Calvin she was like well when Calvin was born do you like Calvin and I was like I love Calvin and they said and she said why and I said because he was born and and he's my son and she was like yeah you like him because he's your son and he just you met him and he just came out and you like him just because and i was like yeah and she's like the fuck can't

people be that like that about that about you and i was like oh fuck that's a really good point like they don't know me you know what if yeah like almost it's like an ego thing i'm assuming people even know who the fuck i am you know yeah but it's always been like that even before i was like you know somebody on netflix and shit like uh i would walk in and i i i remember in high school, I would be like, I'd go to the neighboring school thing and nobody knew me and I would be like, oh, they probably think I'm like, just some bitch. I don't know what the fuck it is, bro.

That's crazy. I know. I know. And I would use humor, bro. I would go in and I'd be like, I'm going to make fun of people. I'm going to, and I got good at it, dude. That's my career. Like, I go in and I fucking, I can win a room over and like, and then I would go in and like, comedians was coming up. People didn't necessarily know who I was. People would crush and I'd be like, oh, I want to go on after that motherfucker to see if I could do it. Like, Chris Rock would do 40 minutes and I was like I hope I get to go next. Remember I asked you earlier about where did your comedy come from and like also coming from pain? Yeah. Because it kind of

sounds like that a little bit. Like not so much like oh I'm hurt yeah but you're wanting need your need to feel accepted. Yeah. And you're need to try to get people to accept you. And and the truth is I think that pain doesn't necessarily come from something that palpably happens to you. I think pain is in your head, right? Like, because people can go through different things. You could go through something and walk out like, oh, that wasn't a big deal.

And I can go through something and be like, man, that really affected me. Yeah. And, and, and that's pain to me, right? So, you know, it's subjective. You are who you are in your head, not who people think you are. And so, yeah, in that way,

I guess it does come from some pain, you know, which is interesting, I guess, you know. And talking about it with you, just like, you know, it's like, oh, yeah, I guess that is right. Yeah, wanting the acceptance. Yeah, I mean, everybody wants acceptance. And I think comedians probably wanted a little bit more, you know, because of whatever the fuck. You know, even last night, I was, I was on state. Last night I was at the laugh factory and is a bit of a name drop.

I love the laugh. I was at the laugh factory. It's great. You come out, come out soon. But, um, I was on stage. And there was a special guest-slotted for me. I was going to come in and do some time. But the manager asked me to do it last minute,

and it was already sold out. So I was like, yeah, just put special guests. I'll pop in. And the comedians that all, I was like, when you want me to go on? And they were like, he was like later. He's like, the reason why I asked you to come is because Justin Timberlake's coming. And I thought it'd be cool if you were on.

And, you know, I want the show to be good. And, you know, I won't. So I go there and Justin really shows up and he's like, what's up? And I say, hey, you know, I don't know if he knows who I am or whatever, but he walks by. I've never met him and we nod, you know.

And the show goes, it runs long. The manager's like, I'm going to put you up at the end. But the show goes so long that I'm like, I'm a special guest. I'm not billed on it. I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to go on because it's just too long. and I don't want to have to

as the night moves on it's harder and harder to do stand up like the first spot you'll crush second spot you'll crush because you can only make people laugh so long at this point it's three hours if the show's three hours people are laughing but they're like

literally thinking like I don't even know when does that's not my eight yeah exactly so I'm like you know what I'm not going to go on and then the manager comes up and he was like hey

Justin saw you and he was asking if you were going to go on I was like, I'm going to eat shit, you know? I'm going to go up and it's going to be a struggle. So I'm like, he's like, just go on. I'm like, all right, I'll go on. I'll go on. And I got it in my head.

It was like, it's been two and a half hours of good stand-up. I mean, they had good comedians on. People were crushing. You had Maximini, Dane Cook, fucking Eric Griffin. I mean, these guys crush. And, um, and, um, and. there's always that drop-off point where it's like, oh, this person isn't as good.

And it's just because the crowd's tired. So I was like, I'm not going to let this fucking shit happen. And I got into that. I was like, all right, it's been a show, but I'm going to fucking go up and I'm going to kill. And I went up and I had a great set. But, you know, I looked at it as like the, I wanted the acceptance so badly of this show.

But I also wanted the acceptance of fucking Justin Timberlake and fucking Jessica Beal. I can't act like she was there too and I just saw that show Candy and she's like so good in it and he's in it too and I'm just like I just watch these motherfuckers

and it's annoying that I want that acceptance but I did and you know It's normal though Yeah it's normal I guess and afterwards they were like

great job and we talked a little bit and they're good people and yeah and so it was just still a reminder that like God there's always that fucking acceptance that you want

as a comedian at every level I think just as a person man as a human we all want acceptance but at every level though it happens like I'm like if I go up on on stage and my fans are there like if I'm doing a show in Boston and I sell tickets and they're coming to see Chris DeLeia

I'm fine I'm going to go out they're going to like me. You know what I mean? But like to be the special guest after fucking two and a half hours I'm like I hope these I'm not in my head I'm not Kevin hard not everybody knows who I am people are going to be like

is that that guy from this or yeah I think I recognize him is he funny and then I got a you know it's at every level so it's just a reminder bro you're never I always say this but like you are never better than the room as a comedian you're never better than the fucking room

like you can go and just have a bad set because the room is not what you thought it was you know yeah and I was able to fucking do well But, you know, sometimes, you know, it happened a few weeks ago where I was like, ah, that was fucking whack. It was fine, but it was just like, you know, it wasn't a bomb, but like, you know.

Do you have any specials or anything coming up? Do you work on anything? So I'm doing my show on the road, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I might. Because how many Netflix ones do you have? I have four, I think. I have, well, I have, I think I have four. I might have three, but I have another one that's like maybe a half an hour on this

comedian's the world. Or maybe I have four. Incorrigible. Oh, yeah, I have three, and then that half hour one on Convenienters World. And then the first one I did was for Comedy Central. So I have a few. And after I did my last one, I was like, what am I going to do next? I didn't, because I was doing specials like every year and a half, every two years.

And I'm like, at the end of the day, I was like, how many specials do I really want to have? And I know it's a different little bit of a mentality now is that content is king. Yeah, more and more and more. But, bro, like, I put out clips on TikTok and they get, like, fucking 12 million views on my stand-up, and I'm like, I don't, I don't, Netflix doesn't tell you, but like, I don't know how many people are watching me on Netflix. Is it 12 million? I have no fucking media. They don't give you stats? Nah.

So, like, what the fuck? So, like, yeah, because it's better for them if they don't, because then they can pay you what they want to pay you. Ah, yeah. So anyway, but it's like, I don't know, the game is constantly changing. People are doing it on YouTube now. Yeah. And, and I mean, like, I looked at somebody the other day. They have, like, fucking 10 million views.

And this is a comedian that blew up on YouTube. And if he was on Netflix, he might have got lost in the shuffle. And I have four on Netflix or three on Netflix. So if I have them on Netflix, they can see me on Netflix already. Right. So maybe it is better if I do something else. Yeah. You know?

People on TikTok are like, oh, who's this? Oh, is this the guy from that? Oh, yeah. I don't know him. Well, it's a whole new audience. It's a whole new audience. A whole new audience. A whole new audience.

Yeah. So you got to, like, you have to keep doing it. Like, how long, I guess my question of refining is, how long do you see yourself doing this? You're going to continue to do comedy or are you going to continue to do podcasts? Like, where do you see yourself evolving into? I guess I don't really think about it. I just know. You just keep going.

I just keep going. I mean, at this point, it's like, it's my bread and butter, you know. I want, I want Calvin to be comfortable. I want Kristen to be comfortable. I want, you know, people, I have employees that count on me. So I want them to be comfortable. And, you know, I want to keep doing it. But I also love it.

So I want to keep doing it because of that reason. Will I always do stand-up? I have a feeling like, no matter how many breaks I'll take, I'll always come back. Yeah. But I'm in it now, you know. So, yeah. I got to come, man. I'm on all the time.

I love to. Just trying to work shit out. Yeah. So do you focus on any social platforms for particular? I mean, TikTok seems to be the one now. So I kind of like post my clips on TikTok And my page Like the stand up clips do really well

It's funny like I post a lot of standup clips So I think people start coming for that And then like I post sometimes my podcast ones do well But sometimes they don't And then I look at like Theo Vaughn You know Theo and like his podcast clips Are fucking way off the charts And his standups aren't as big

So I'm like why is Yeah Because he's a big standup comedian you know It's just weird the way the algorithm works So I'm like I'm always trying to figure it out I like figuring it out Like, I always like trying to figure out the new platform and shit. Yeah.

You know. Do you have any favorite comedians, like current comedians right now? Yeah, I really like, my favorite probably is, it's probably Bill Burr. I really like Bill. He's really funny. I love Chris Rock. I've always loved Chris Rock. What about like up and coming guys?

Lesser known guys. I always say Fahim Anwar. I think he's great. Um, and I love my opener. The guy who opens for me, Mike Linocchi, who is my opener. I'm lucky to have him as an opener. That guy's a pro, man. That guy, we did a corporate gig the other day.

And he, uh, it's a corporate gig. Oh, so for like a company? Yeah, for a company. Like in Dallas that thing. They, like, just come make these people laugh? Yes. So basically it's their company has an event. And their events are always boring as shit.

Yeah. Company boring as shit. Yeah. So they're like, well, let's get comedy involved. I never do corporate gigs because I don't want to because they're horrible. And they're not there for comedy. A lot of the guys are like 60-year-old and that's just like, it's not my demo. I'm up here talking about, you know what I'm talking about.

And this, they hit me up and they were like, oh, but corporate gigs, very good payday. Makes sense. So I'm like, all right, look, they're going to pay me. I wasn't going to do it. but Kristen wanted to go to Texas. So I'm like, if I can make a trip out of it, fuck it, I'll do it. Yeah.

So we go and the corporate is in like this banquet hall. And I'm like, this is not conducive to it. It's not a club. It's not a theater. I'm like, all right, it's going to be bad. It's going to be fine. I'll get the check. It's all good.

And I brought the open. I was like, I'm not coming unless I can have a guy do 10 minutes in front of me because then I can really judge how bad the crowd is. Because I know what he does. he can kill right so if he doesn't kill it's not him it's the crowd so i know i got to really dig in right i love i love the getting his mind like understanding that yeah yeah it's something that you wouldn't you wouldn't know so they say okay well well you can bring it opener so i have michael not you come he's a pro i mean the guy kills so he goes out there and does i would say really well um does i say

they don't do too much crowd work because that's easy. That's easy in this situation because if you go up and say, hey, bro, what do you do for this company? Everyone's like, oh, that's Bill. What's he going to say? That's, you know what I mean?

That's Mary. What's Mary going to say? So I say don't exhaust the crowdwork because I got to be up there for 45 minutes. I might have to do this. Yes. My material doesn't work because a lot of times material

doesn't work at a corporate game. I don't care what you say And so He goes up Does a little bit of crowd work And then does his act Does well Does really well I would say

I go on And I just start doing crowd work I start crushing right I start doing really well myself I dip into some material Because I'm like I wonder if this will work The material does

Okay So I'm like How do you gauge it okay Just to laugh Like how long they laugh The laugh And how long they laugh And it's also like

when I do the crowdwork they're erupting but when I do the material they'll relate to it but I've already established I'm doing crowdwork and to dip in a material it's a little bit trickier so I talk about that the material I'm talking about my son

people have kids and they laugh but then I go back in a mid crowd work I probably did in 45 minutes I probably did five minutes of material and I just roasted the shit out of them and they loved it and I was like wow this

I was saying on stage I was like man corporate gigs fucking suck I was dreading this like you guys are fucking awesome and they and they were just happy dude they were so happy that the CEO I was like look I did my time I did 45 minutes thank you

the CEO said I don't want to say the amount but he was like do 15 more minutes and I'll pay you this much more and I was like I guess I'm a fucking hooker tonight dude yeah yeah right I did extra 15 minutes and yeah it was great but you never know what you're going to get with the corporate gig yeah you know you don't know who because they're not your fans you know I was

walking around the hotel earlier in the day and uh and people were like oh we were happy to get you i was like oh that's a relief man like it was a younger was a virtual real estate which i don't even know what that fucking means but a virtual real estate company like make videos on like zillow and shit of like house walkers seemed way shadier than that bro oh no and I was talking about I was like, there's going to be a fucking Netflix documentary about you, motherfuckers. This is the shadiest shit. It was working, you know, but like, and it was, it was fun.

It was fun, bro. It was fun. But, you know, they're not always fun. I've had corporate gigs where I have just tanked, dude. And I'm like, I did this shit on Netflix. This works. This worked. It just didn't work.

Yeah. I love it, man. All right, we're going to get into some audience questions. Okay. Unless you have any questions for me. So at the end of every episode, we do three questions normally, right? And if you guys want to get your questions, Asked, you can shoot us an email at AskRodotalk at gmail.com or you can send us a DM at GetRotalk

on Instagram. You can shoot us a DM, easy. But she, you have, do you have any of the questions lined up? Yeah. Okay. And normally like I'll answer, I'll answer whatever. Okay, cool. Okay. So where is it? I literally just had it. Um, you got it. It's my birthday today by the way. Oh yeah, you said. Happy birthday. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Do you say your age or no? Yeah, yeah. 33.

Oh, fuck, you're young, bro. Because you're so, I always think Jack guys are fucking way older than they are because they, like, I'm like, ah, because I just look at it as like more advanced than me. And if you're more advanced than me this way, you have to be older than me. But fucking 33, God damn it, dude. That's amazing, bro. Good for you. I feel great.

Okay. So this one is how do you stay motivated when everything feels like it's going against you and you feel like there's no way out? also love the pod Bradger dope like that's basically what they say okay uh so I'll start it off and then and then I'll let Chris go um so it's kind of interesting because it's along the lines of the things we were talking about earlier about like this you know the group think mentality and people being against you for whatever reasons because I've dealt with a lot of the shit in my career over the years and me specifically just being on social right I never did stand up I

never like put myself out that way but definitely all my feedback is like you know direct from the audience so what I realized is like at some there's some points where like I just had to just stop reading I had to stop looking at things I had to stop engaging with certain things and just going okay like who the fuck am I and what do I really give a fuck about what really makes me happy and what really drives me and just focus on that and I remember I got because I've gone through so many different phases in my career I went through bullshit earlier on in my career I go through bullshit even today I deal with people just talking shit recklessly and it is what it is And I realized like, okay, I'll get to messages and it'll be some, someone in my DM will be like, fuck you, you suck.

And I'll reply like, yo, I appreciate the love. Right. And they'll be like, oh, man, I just, you know, I'm sorry. I just wanted you. A lot of about that, yeah. And then also I just realized I just needed to focus on the good. Like straight up, I know it sounds so cliche to say, but it is really as hard as it is, it is that simple to just keep, you just have to keep going, okay, you see the bullshit and then try to just start kind of either avoiding it or addressing it with positivity. and then going towards like, okay, this is why I'm really here.

This is what really makes me happy. This is what I really give a fuck about. Like focusing on that, man, like this kind of content, talking, learning, sharing, understanding people where they come from, why they got there, how they got there. I think, like, for me is the most enjoyable part. So, okay, this is a great example right now where me having a podcast and talking to someone like you and learning about your life and what you've gone through and how you've got to where you're at, that's what I focus on.

And not like the bullshit that someone could say about this or that or some other shit just just to drag me right and it's just kind of like I just realized it's hard but it's almost like with with everything the more exposure you have to it the more you work through it the better you become at like okay this is hitting me this is hitting me and you're able to go forward through it so that's good yeah yeah I mean that is I mean I know you say it sounds cliche but it just really is true I mean it's hard to even think of something else to say besides that but you know look it's like you know

this person talk about how to get through dark times and shit and keep going first of all you have to get through that because the only option is otherwise is not getting through that and that's the worst thing

You don't want the worst thing. You want a way out. And sometimes the way out in a positive way seems unmanageable and too difficult. But I would argue that I look at it as when I'm, when I have something I don't want to do, like a chore even, something basic or benign. that I have to do, and I don't want to do it, and I so don't want to do it. I think about it in a way like this. I'm going to end up doing it. I have to do it.

It's going to get done because I have to do it. So in a way, it's already done, right? If you're looking at it in a mental way, if I have to do something and there's not a choice, I'm already there I'm already done because that's that's the future that's going to happen

right so I would argue that even though you might be in a dark time you're already through it because you're still here and things suck but the only option is getting through it. And I've been in a dark place before. I mean, many, many people have. The things that

have kept me alive are my son and my friends. But at any moment, I could have been the reason that all that went south. And I got through it because there was no other option. And I didn't allow myself to take that route. And darkness sucks. But you're still here, and because you're still here, you're through it, you know? You may not be totally through it, but this is part of through it. And it's a part of your journey, too. I hate the word journey, but it's true. Yeah.

It's the most important part, I think, to understand it. Like, I can say everything in my life that I've ever gone through. I grew up without a father. If you knew this or not, my father took his life when I was very young. All those things, though, made me who I am today. It just took me a very long time to recognize. this was the use of it like in the time and it took me about 20 years it'd be like oh now it's starting to make sense why I went through that because of everything else that was happening and going on

in my life god so it's just kind of like that to the person listening it it's like we said it's cliche as fuck to say this but like it it is a part of your journey as shitty as that word might be like but the truth is and I talked to a guy at the expo the other day I went to a fitness expo and the guy told me he's like dude I saw your stuff I didn't kill myself because of what you said and blah, blah, all this stuff that, like, to me is like, wow, it's powerful. But the thing that I said to this kid that's so significant is like,

if you could help even just one fucking person to go through or to be able to go through what you've gone through because you've already gone through it and you've developed from it, you went through the bullshit, you got to the other side, it's not as bad as it was, then that's the value of it.

Like, just because I have this platform that I'm able to speak to millions of people and I'm grateful for that. But that doesn't mean that I'm, any more special than the person listening who if you have fucking 10 friends and you could talk to one guy who you know needs to be talked to and you could change his entire life just from a fucking conversation and that's the real value like I'm talking to this guy at the expo and he was telling me this and I'm like man like the power in going through this this kid talking about

not ending his life is so significant and like I said even if it's helping like another human with just one single person or not even necessarily in that same sense like you know someone has to be to that point where they were going to kill themselves and you're convincing them not to, but just showing someone like perseverance, man, there's so much power there. And I think like it's very easy to get caught up in the moment where when it's darkest to be like,

man, this is never going to end. But it is going to end. And it's not going to end. It's not going to end badly, man. Like it just, it always feels that way. And if you just keep going and you keep going, eventually you look back and you go, okay, now it starts to make sense.

Yeah. And it's like when you're sick, physically you're like I can't even think of how it feels like to not have this flu and then you get better and you're like oh yeah yeah it's like the same fucking thing you know but yeah that's uh wow I didn't know that about your dad and that's powerful about what that kid was telling you yeah um that's uh it's uh it's funny too because like when I talk about comedy being an escape like I didn't I never I never really didn't I didn't never really think about it like that but then people start coming up to you and they say like you got me through dark times and you're like I guess I guess I'm your action movie for me you know what I mean like just sit and fucking watching that shit exactly and that's a powerful thing and it's that's the thing I've done this for so many years now like talking to people at expos because I would go to these expos and you know I've talked about my childhood in my past like I just said right here and people will tell me these crazy not crazy things like normal things but to me I'm like whoa I just met you and you're saying how I saved you because of what I said and I never once said something to think I'm going to save you of course I just said it because it's my life. and but but there's so much power in that and I can't I can't make this anymore well like understood I really want you guys understand it is like to that person who feels that like man you got this just take that and give it to someone else because that like yeah that's all life's really about like at the end of day like you're realizing the most important things in your life is like

your son and your family and things that really matter and your perspective on even how you make comedy has changed because of that because like the real things actually matter is just that kind of stuff like money and all this stuff it gets you guys and Like you said, making more money, how is it going to really change your life? Not by much. And it's like, and at some point it doesn't mean anything. Like when you're gone, it doesn't mean anything. When it's going to matter is like what you gave to your son, what you gave to your family, what you gave to your loved ones.

So I'm not trying to get crazy, crazy deep, but like that's all life's truly about. So just understand like the moments that you have that are dark, there are necessities in your life to make you the person that you're supposed to become. And that's the most important thing to understand. Sorry, go to the next question. I get yeah no it's good all right so this next question is I'm 23 and I recently started building my own business and it's been taking up a lot of my time I spend time with I don't spend time with friends anymore or my girlfriend is and she's starting to feel neglected and in all honesty there's times where I just want to work more so than hang out with my

friends and my girlfriend because I'm not where I want to be financially yet and I feel like I almost don't deserve to have the luxury of spending time with friends or girlfriends or family. How do I find a balance of working and having a life without feeling like I'm not doing enough in my business? Also, do you think having a girlfriend in the come-up stages of your career is a good idea or bad? I'm just going to go straight up and just, I'm going to say this, no, unless it's

someone who completely, like, is aligned with you and understanding of where you want to go and where you're trying to go. And here's the deal, too, I want to make this really clear. If you're 23 years old, you might not even know exactly where the fuck you're trying to go. So like you're always going to, you might butt heads with someone no matter who they are, no matter how well they get with you or they're able to work with you on things like because you're still learning yourself overall. So I would I would say not they, you're not like saying fuck these people in your life, but you do have to focus on yourself and you do need to like dive into that as much as possible because like 23 years old, like you're really. learning who you are when I'm just looking at myself when I was 23 years old I was I mean I was going to do a lot of shit in my life that I needed to go through independently and if I had

someone else in my life and I did I had moments where I had people but I noticed a lot of times it was easier for me to like look and focus on that circumstance and then the stuff that I need to fix with myself I wasn't fixing I was covering with this circumstance of this relationship and then eventually this broke because I'd never fixed this or I never changed this or I never focused on this. So I don't know because everyone's so uniquely different in these situations, but you got to answer this yourself if like you're

constantly in this like tumultuous feeling with the person, like you should probably just focus on your shit. Yeah. The one thing that struck me what he was saying is I feel like I don't deserve to be doing anything else but my business. Don't say that dude. Like you deserve it.

You just may, it may not be something that you are focused on right now. which is fine um yeah it's tough what do you say 23 24 it's like you you want to be successful in business i get that i was the same way and it's really hard to to manage that with a relationship especially when you're coming up um i think the key is for sure finding somebody that meshes with you in that way and understands uh what you want and your goals and you understand what they want and their goals i think that's the key because

otherwise it's going to be if you don't have something that matches on both fronts, business and relationship either one of those they're going to get weighed down Yeah exactly they're going to pull each other down And maybe this person is the person That you're supposed to be with

But you are young And I think that right now you have to focus on your business But as far as not deserving it I don't think that that's the right choice of words Maybe you didn't mean that but that was the thing that struck me out of that. Yeah. Okay.

You want another one? Yeah, word choice is super fucking important, guys. Okay. Say this before we go on one more time. If you tell yourself every day like you're not worth something, then you're going to get more of that in your life. Right. So go ahead.

So this one is a very long story. I'm going to make it short. Okay. So I'm not going to put their name because I don't know if they want me to. But they're 24 years old and they just wanted to start by saying, thank you for spreading so much hope, wisdom, and positivity. to the listeners' lives. This podcast has gone to be my favorite one because you break down the idea that men cannot be emotional, suffer, and express their feelings openly without the fear

of being judged. So I applaud you for that. So he goes, my story is long, but I'll keep it as short as possible. Originally from Europe, and he moved to the States in the process of doing that. In early 2019, he lost his mother to suicide. And we fast forward to early 2021. he lost his younger brother because of like medical conditions and then summer of 2021 he lost his younger brother to suicide another younger brother yes so there's two younger brothers um in the same year and so everything has been different he was only 12 years old and he and he took his own life and there was no like symptoms or anything and they say like due to like this is my story with all my childhood trauma growing up and unfortunately I feel stuck emotionally and

the stage that hasn't improved much since my mother's passing. It feels like a movie and it isn't real. I love to hear what your thoughts are on my situation and what your life experiences have taught you that could help me grow out of this emotional stage that I can't get out of. I know this email is really long and I probably won't make it on to the podcast, but wanted you to hear a story. How old is he? 24.

Wow. That is fucking tough. so okay damn I mean we kind of said a lot that's along the same lines and the previous question but man

that's a tough that's like a tough really like thing to swallow there yeah I mean you've been through a lot of fucking pain and sometimes the only thing you can say to that is I hear you

and I can imagine oh I can only imagine how hard you've been suffering and this is the worst time in your life and it will probably be the worst time in your life you will eventually have a chance to use this and come out the other side and that's all up to you buddy you know

I mean that's that's up to you um i really i really feel i really feel for you man um i'm sorry to hear all that i don't know you obviously but there's a lot of pain in this world and you're experiencing some of it but that doesn't mean you can't come out the other side yeah and i'll say some from my personal experience like i've obviously haven't dealt with the same exact thing but i i don't the loss of a father very young uh to suicide he hung himself and uh i will say fuck I will say without a doubt that this point in my life

everything like everything that I really that really fucked me up in my life is starting to make sense so what Chris said and I want to make this I want to reiterate this it is probably the darkest point in your life like this realization of like where you're at your family what's happened to them

but if you can get through this which you listening to this podcast or trying to figure these things out like you searching for some sort of reason even like asking shooting this email right and that's answering this question you're trying to figure out and that's what's really powerful and that's what really matters and the point is like not that this is going to make it any better right now but if you get through this you can get through anything and that's the reality that you have to understand it like you're here because you wrote this email you're listening to this podcast you're alive right it's very important to understand that that is the biggest hope that you have. And then once you're through this,

the biggest gift that you'll ever have is that you'll probably never go any, you will probably never go through anything as difficult ever again. And it can make everything else in your life seem more simple, like your goals, like overcoming adversity in the rest of your life, because at the age you're at now, you're going to continue to go through those things. And it's like to go through this now it's it's the it's the the darkest blessing and you just have to keep going and like I said you you're you know you're not your brother you're not your mother you're here you're alive and you just got to keep going forward and then at some point you're going to be able to look back it'll make sense so fuck yeah I won't know the story's pretty

I thought it was going to be me, but you... That one fucked me up. Yeah, that would fuck me up. But I mean it, man. And to everyone listening like that, the reality is like we're all guaranteed to go through tough times. We're all guaranteed to go through pain in our life. That is what life is.

That is what the journey is. It is pain. Like everything in our life at some point, we're going to have that. Like you're not going to have all the good shit you think you want, the cars and the money and the clothes, all this bullshit, right? without there being an equal opportunity for shitty stuff in your life and you have to accept that and that's one of the most important things to understand in life like you can't just you're not just going to go wow everything's great and then you die someday like it doesn't work that way like

you're going to everything's going to be great it's going to be fucked it's going to be great and it's going to be fucking it's going to be terrible and it's going to be good and and you have to be comfortable with that process and yeah man that's that's it I could say from my life experience I've been in the darkest places but I've also now I'm in like I'm so fucking grateful to be alive I'm so fucking grateful to be able to sit here and have a conversation with you and being able to even say this to you

one person if you can listen to this and it can help you that's what matters so that's it yeah that's all I got to say I appreciate you guys watching I appreciate you guys listening I appreciate you guys continuing to come back and I appreciate you coming on here and talking and being vulnerable and sharing

your process and I think you're an amazing fucking comedian and you're clearly a fucking good dude and yeah thank you for coming i uh i'm really happy i did uh you know like i said i was always i looked at your stuff and i always thought you were really interesting dude and um you know we kind of ran into each other before but it's really cool to talk to you dude um so thanks for having me really absolutely yeah and much fucking success man hopefully if you ever need me

for anything i can be there for you perfect man likewise cool so thank you guys subscribe to the channel uh post notifications all that good shit if you're on itunes drop a nice review if you're on spotify i don't even know what the fuck goes on over there because I use iTunes sorry I know there's like probably like a feud there oh you use iTunes yeah I use iTunes pretty much but but we're also on Spotify which is dope and then obviously YouTube drop a like drop a comment subscribe and check out check out Chris on tour chrisalia.com for tickets I'll be in your city at some point so go check now and maybe I'll be there soon who knows but yeah and you do you do do do do Patreon I do Patreon yeah

I have a Patreon from a podcast uh which is patreon.com slash crystallia and then my podcast is also on YouTube so just check it out just call congratulations cool yeah thank you guys appreciate all love we're out of here fucking awesome I love doing podcasts

I love doing podcasts oh really crush that shit oh cool good so good what do you what do you mean like versus so some people you know like

I mean obviously I had Ronnie Coleman on here I don't think he really is like he's not like he's a body killer I know legendary body lover but I don't think he does podcast all the time you like right so other people who like you do podcasts consistently he's done it for a while

Got it. So it's like a comfortability thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Brian was on here, like, they're just, yeah, yeah, yeah. The flow is like seamless, you know? Yeah, I guess I, it's so funny to me that it's even like an art, but I guess it is. It is. It is.

At some point you break it down, it's just a conversation. But like to get to that is like hard sometimes because, like, you know, you're not going to mesh with everybody. You interview people and like there's a, there's a rhythm that there's an energy. And like, you're either have it or you don't. Sometimes you can pull it out of them if you're good, which you're good. But like, it's not always going to be that way, you know. I appreciate you know, this was fun, bro. Thank you, Matt.

Thank you.