RAWTALK - Chris DeStefano On Trump Still Being President!?, Conspiracy Theories & Calling Out Matt Rife

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

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All right, guys, Paul, Chris and Stephano, before we get into the podcast, Eternal Life is coming back, Rawgear.com. Make sure you guys check out at the end of this month. I love you guys. Let's get into this podcast. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you drop a comment. Make sure you do a review on iTunes.

I don't even know what it is. But yeah, if you're here on YouTube, I love you guys. If you're here on iTunes, thank you so much for listening. Let's get into this podcast. Yeah, I'm out. Chris Stefano, man. So how long are you doing comedy for? I've been doing comedy now.

I started stand up in 2009, so 14 years, stand up. And I started when there was no podcast, no, internet no nothing it was just like hold on hold on my guys laughing right now because you sound exactly like me when i talk about all this yeah because i've been doing it like obviously i'm not doing comedy like you are yeah but uh i was on instagram before it was like a thing you know what i'm saying yeah 2011 so back when before like everyone's like oh my good on instagram and be a fitness guy and do this thing and i was just posting pictures of like random right right but it's so funny how you said i looked at him immediately he knew i was like oh god because i tell this story a lot

Listen, and it's one of those things where I don't now, where the businesses, at least just in comedy, it's all good because now there's a new medium for people to get out there. But what is the thing, though, at least specifically with Stanton, I would assume it's the same in your industry, is you can sell a lot of tickets getting quickly off viral clips or whatever. You can absolutely do that. But the crowd, if they come see you, they'll see you once, maybe twice. But longevity in a career, there's no shortcut in stand up. The only way to get, like Shane Gillis just put out, one of the best specials, I think, in the last 10 years, he's doing stand-up like 14 years. It's like he didn't just come out of nowhere. You know what I mean?

Like, you have to fail so much. And I think with putting out clips now on social media, the Internet age, yeah. Yeah, you can edit out the failure. You can make everything look great when it's like, that's not how it works in a live performance at all. Yeah. I guess I can't really speak directly to that, but the same sort of lines as far as in the fitness industry is it's, it's, it's, it's. It's clear to the same idea. Like you can get, you know, you can look really cool for so long.

But if you don't have anything else to offer, it's kind of different, different meaning. Like if you don't have anything else to offer, then it's like eventually people just find the next guy who's jacked or the next guy who's like posting content. You're talking about in regards to comedy like, you can make it all look fine and dandy on the internet. But when you get in stand up, they can be like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And I think like, look, there's two sides to that. I think one side is yes, true, what we're saying.

Then the other side is like fans also nowadays, especially young, younger people, they're conditioned to like what is given to them. So what's given to them is one minute clips of whatever and then they don't know any different. Like if they would see a great comedy legend like Dave Attell, they might be like, I don't get this guy. Why is he not doing crowd work? Why is he not, why is he not, you know, saying something, you know, calling me or something? Like I don't understand because it's like, because Dave is like an actual standup comment.

It's like writing material to different. So I as a young kid would like a tell. but that's what was shown to me but some 20 year old kid today he you know likes what he sees on TikTok so it's just that's what he starts to emulate it's just different who who do you when you reference like crowdwork or like calling you what comedians are you referencing um well no it's not even one it's just we all do i mean even even i have got i i did you know like anything else sometimes my mind would be you know you'd be like well i just want to be able to sell tickets so let me put out crowdwork clips and i started doing that and then i and then i had louis

on the podcast and, you know, one of the, you know, Mount Rushmore of comedians, like you can, whatever, like amongst comics, amongst the experts, Louis C.K. has talked about as one of the greatest comedians ever live. So you, you, you, when I spoke to him, he said it was kind of like, I didn't think of it because he's got so much wisdom. He was like, why would you put out something to the most amount of people that you can put them out, wherever you're following is the most amount of people you personally can reach why would you put out something you just thought of last night out immediately why would you do that when we would never do that when you'd make a comedy special it takes me two years to write a comedy special and then i put it out as my product then i clip that up and this is my product

he's like so why are you abandoning the principle that is the better principle putting out your best product why are you putting out half thought out bullshit you even if they do get even if you sell even if that gets you from 2 000 cedars to 5,000 cedars even if that does It's going to be all those people that want to see you do what you show them, which is half bulldog crowd work. When you start to do your material that you're really proud of, they're going to be like, I didn't pay for this. What is this guy doing?

Why is he doing a well-thought-out bit about the economy? I don't want to see that. I don't want him to call me a fucking hollow. Yeah, you know? But like, you have to change with the time, though, a bit. You do, you do. Because it's not the same landscape anymore. Yes, I think so.

Agreed. But, you know, when talking to Louie and he was right, It was like, but the cream always rises to the top. And if you just stay, if you just put out the best version of yourself always, the best product for stand-up specifically, he's like, then they'll always catch up to you because he was like, look, I've been doing this 35 years.

I've seen the algorithm before. Right now you call it TikTok and the internet and all that stuff. He's like, there's always trends in comedy. There's always people used to do, you know, he said first, you know, when comedy back in the day, it was only on the radio. And then when people started doing TV, when TV became a medium in the 60s, the comedians who were on the radio were like calling the comedians who are on TV hacks. So it's like it's funny.

It just keeps evolving. So but if you just say, you know, I'm putting out funny stuff. So I've stopped putting out the crowdware clips. The shit that's out there is out there. But I'm like, you know what, man, even if I sell less, even if I'm like, I'm just going to put out what I think is the best version of me and just kind of care less about what the people think. because even if I believe, as the, you know, comic, that it's a good joke and it only gets eight comments, I don't control that part. I only control the output. I don't control the outcome. The algorithm will favor me or not. We're competing with a math equation. It doesn't,

it's not even real, right? So you, so with comedy where I'm like, some guys are really good at that and some guys aren't. Some people want to lean into that. Some people don't. I think you have to, you know, I have to make a decision like, what do I want in this career and what actually is going to make me happy. Well, it's interesting you say that. Like, that's the thing that makes most people successful at any career they choose is like if it's really genuine of them. Like, and that's what gives most longevity in all situations, too.

Like, if I talk about the fitness space, it's like, yeah, like I talked earlier, you can show up, you look, Jack, you're the new young guy, whatever, you're doing this or that. But what's going to keep you around for 10 years is not going to be that aspect of you because there's so many. It's going to be more about how are people relating more directly to you as a human. Yeah. So, like, I guess in this case, if you're always kind of the things that you put out are always the things that you feel like this is genuinely what I,

how I want to either come across as a comic or as a human, then like your longevity is built within that. Because you never really skip a beat. You're not doing something just because it's trendy on TikTok. Yeah, my peers that like hate on the new comics the way they're doing it. That's silly and ridiculous because it's like you, like you're talking about adjusting. We have to adjust. You just have to adjust.

First it was podcast. First it was for comics, you would get a five minute set on Tonight Show with Johnny Carson or Jalen or David. Like everybody loves Raymond. Ray Romano, five minutes on David Letterman, told a story in five minutes about his life. David Letterman loved it, gave him a sitcom deal. That's a sitcom got picked up. Boom, everybody loves Raymond, $100 million guy. Bang.

Nowadays, sitcom, nobody cares. Nobody's watching them. Nobody cares. They're so irrelevant. It doesn't matter at all. sitcoms are, you know, it's like a waste of time. And then, which I have one in development. Great.

That's perfect. Yeah, yeah. So, and even the late, doing comedy on late night. It's great if you want to do it. Doesn't matter. People don't watch. Fine. So then we adjust to out of sitcoms come podcasting, right?

The Rogans of the world. Everybody podcasts. That's what gets everybody big. You got to have a podcast. Boom. Now that becomes oversaturated. Everybody's doing a podcast. Now the new thing with kids blowing up, you know, comics blowing up now, small clips.

One minute clips, most of the time crowdwork or some really, really funny kind of outlandish bit bit that's going to get your comments, get your algorithm pushing it because it's, Maybe it's divisive. Maybe he said something racist. That's the new thing now. So that's the medium. Or you've got to be super handsome like Matt Rife. Yeah, yeah, Matt Rive.

But here's the thing with Matt Rife, though. He's a good comedian, too. He's a good comedian. And the thing with Matt Rife, you talk to any comic. If a comic hates on Matt Ripe, then they don't know comedy. They haven't been in comedy. Matt Rys been doing this 15 years. Yeah.

So the kid put his work in. You know what I mean? So you may have just heard of Matt Rife now, but we've all know Matt. Don DePetto over years was working Matt Rife for 10 years when he was selling no tickets. So he may not be your cup of T's, or somebody might be like, I don't understand why the kid put in the work. If somebody is out there doing comedy two years

and gets a level of success, then as comics, there would be a bit more judgment, only simply because there's no shortcuts in this. And what we would know, what we would know as comics is this is going to fall, this is going to be bad because he doesn't have the backbone. Matt has the backbone.

He has this, he's failed enough, you know? 15 years, man, that's a lot of failure. So you're good. So he can handle all these ticket sales coming at him right now. But some of these other kids, man, they get big so quick.

They want to do a live show because they think that's the best way to make money. It is a great way to make money. But the crowd, after five, dude, if Jerry Seinfeld came on stage, the greatest comedian of all time, if he came on stage, you would be enamored for five minutes. After five minutes, if he's not funny, you're going to not laugh at him and be uncomfortable, just like an open mic are coming out there and bombing. Even the best only get five minutes. of look at how great I am. And then after that, dude, we've seen it in the comedy clubs where it's like somebody will come in.

They have a show, you know, and they have the place sold out, and they think I'm just going to go up and say and do what I did on Twitter and TikTok. And then that five minutes, they are crushing in the first five minutes. And then after about 15 minutes, you'll start to see a lot of sweat, a lot of so who's got a birthday? Where do you do for a living? And then after 30 minutes, like, good night.

And then the crowd will never come back again. It happens. So you're saying there's, there's comments that just show up strictly, like, have a little bit and then just strictly crowdwork? It's, it's, well, listen. No written work. No. Yeah, well, a lot of comics, right? There's crowd work.

Crowdwork is what's in right now. And by the way, there's people who are excellent at crowdwork where that is their material and they are like a savant at it. And they're like Schultz is really good at that. Schultz is excellent in crowd work. Shultz also has our specials. Yeah. So Schultz is Matt Rife. So is Matt Rife.

They can both, they could do the material and the crowd work. So, but when you have people that just lean into one, it's like, you know, know, it's like, you know, being a professional athlete, if you can only do one thing, well, if I can stop that one thing, then you don't have anything where a guy like Schultz is a good example, you can say, you can say, well, you know what? You can't do any crowdwork on this show. And he'd be like, all right, I'll just do my material then. But the crowd work is like, is like comedy on steroids. Like when you have a good, oh my God, dude, because the thing is the crowd is so they're there for that and they're kind of like so already nervous about

the comic going to talk to them. So as soon as you say anything to them, start to laugh. They start to laugh like, I could be like, nice hat. And they're like, because I'm the one in charge, right? And they think what I'm saying is supposed to be so funny because they, they think I'm funny. But they don't even know why they think I'm funny. They're just like, I paid for comedy. So he or she must be funny.

So I'll laugh at anything they say, even though there's no backbone to it. That's why it's good guys like Colin Quinn, Dave Attell. These are like old school New York City comedy legends that have been around 30 years. They're very quick, especially. you when the younger guys like me or Schulte come off tour and come back sometimes we're still in like the crowd work mode or like the mode only performing for our fans you'll get away when you can start to sell tickets to your fans you get away with a lot more shit because they're going to laugh at you they're already invested in you right but then when you come down to the comedy clubs

and maybe they don't know who you are your name wasn't announced in the lineup and you come up with some but those guys very quickly even if the crowd's laughing it's like hey that's hack stop that stop that hack bullshit that's no good for our art club they're really that hard on each other 100% you have to be because it's like it's like if you knew as a fitness guy that somebody's getting away with all these you know they're this fitness guru but you know they're on steroids it's not fair it's not right it's not good for the art you know like where you're like no you have to do this the right way or and that's what it is with comedy it's like I can make a joke right now that can you know make a million people laugh but it's a hacky joke about Asians being bad

drivers it's not the everyday guy's job I'm the expert in comedy so I can fool you with bullshit, but it's bad for our art. It's bad for everybody because then if that hack stuff gets out there and that's what people want to see, you're like, well, then if I do a well, more well-thought-out joke about politics or my family or something, you're not going to think it's as funny as the guy who maybe stole a joke about, you know, airplane food, which is like the oldest, like there's jokes that go around when you're like, this is the thing. I've seen a million people do a joke like that, but you think it's a genius because you've never seen it before because you don't, you're not in the comedy clubs every night like I am. But I know what's

going on and so as older comics like these new york legends they're very quick to be like hey that joke's been done a million times did deeper on that premise so yeah it's just because how many people are seeing the joke because like that's that it's interesting though that if you say that because what we were talking about earlier is that if you're still genuine and within yourself as far as a comedy you're creating then would it matter the jokes that someone else is making oh dude the only sin in comedy is joke stealing that's the only thing you could literally you could be a pet of it doesn't matter you if you steal a joke If you steal a joke, you're out.

You're ostracized. That is the thing that we have to keep sacred, beyond sacred. If you steal someone else's work, if you emulate someone else's work and it's close, sometimes that's hard, you know, it's very difficult to be like, you know, but if you're stealing word for word and you're taking like the essence of a premise or the essence of a punchline from someone, it's, it's the comedy community, we really think poorly of that. It's like you're fucking done.

You're ostracized. people will make it be like you don't even come don't come fucking near me you little piece of shit because that's just the only thing so I think you know it's nice to have you know

older people in this business like veterans in this business who have been around who have seen you know all these waves of different people getting hot for different reasons at different times to be like to remind you

to be like hey stay true to your comedic integrity do what you think is funny do your own work nobody else's work don't steal anything and then you'll be okay. It may take a little bit longer.

It may, you may not rise as quick. Like, Lou, that's why most times the greats, Louis C.K., Bill Burr, these guys, you only started hearing about them when they were in their 40s because it takes that long. You know, it takes 20 years to start to get good, to fail enough, to go up and down. So that's usually, and then you get that longevity with them, that backbone. All right, quick interruption for the podcast. Guys, listen, I literally, this is my house, guys, no joke. I literally eat trifecta every single day.

I eat this white rice every single day. Very, very simple, very easy to use. If you guys are like, I'm curious about what am I going to eat, how am I going to eat, what kind of structure am I going to eat? You can literally go to the site, trifectonutrition.com slash Bradley Martin. You can click like plans. You can click what kind of style you want to eat. Like if it's keto, if it's low carb, if it's protein, focus, like you can do all of that.

And they literally send it to your door. You can get all the cart, which is like full amount. So this would be like all the cart, full amount of rice. Or you can get sent to you in like prepared meals where there's carbs, there's protein, there's fat. There's everything balanced to whatever your diet is detailing, right? literally eat this probably four times a day. Obviously not the salmon. I'll eat salmon. I'll eat the beef. I'll eat the rice. Literally four or five times a day. This I do eat four or five times a day.

But it's super easy. Again, trifectinutrition.com slash bread of Martin. If you're looking to take the guesswork out of what you're eating. And I'll be honest with you. As far as like seeing a result, seeing a goal, this is always going to be the thing next to drinking enough water, getting enough sleep that is always going to dictate how quickly or how slow you get to that goal. So hit it up, trifectonutrition.com slash Bradley Martin. Let's get into the rest of this podcast. Yeah, obviously it's way different now. What's your process within writing and creating kind of?

Like, do you just think of something? Because I have a buddy who like I film videos with on YouTube and he's actually really creative and very funny. He writes his own comedy before he goes to films. He's like YouTube skits. Yeah. But like what's your actual process for stand-up or just for your comedy in general? Fentanyl.

Yeah, no. I, um, I, uh, what I like to do is per, if I you got you I found now for me everybody's different I've write most of my material in the car when I'm driving when I'm driving you're in the car driving writing I'm voice recording I'm saying all these voice recording get to my phone I'm like I'll write that later in the car or in the shower is when I'm starting to think this is crazy you said the shower everyone's going to think I'm fucking gay for saying this but like I take baths all the time and I get my best ideas when I'm taking a hot bath really hot bath with candles oh yeah yeah candles some incense yeah and I and I'll like I'll have

my phone and I'll write down all my ideas. Yeah. Is that weird? No. No, that's fucking. Dude, whatever your process is. It's a very funny visual to think of you in the bath. Yeah. In a bath with like bubbles. I swear. A luf on your cock. No, no. There's a luf on the side. Yeah. At some point I, you know, I clean myself with it. You have to. And it will be around my cock, but not all the time. Yeah. I think whatever, whatever your process is that I think like there's, listen, some guys I know, they can only write in a coffee shop, pen to paper. They can't. And I never wrote that way it was always like almost writing on stage thinking of an idea taking a chance

with a new premise or like i said sending the voice recorders into my phone and then i was like oh shit i got to start writing more i got to start being like you know this person that like writes every joke and then i was listening to a podcast with bill burrow is one of my favorite comics and he was like yeah i don't i don't ever write i have like seven comedy specials i i write but he writes on stage and he does a process similar to mine he doesn't like write pen to paper writing every single word of every single joke It's kind of like in the flow. So that's really more the way I do it as well. So you send voice notes like bullet points.

Exactly. Yeah. You go through a lot of, at least in standup or any creative art from you, go through a lot of like, am I a fraud? What am I do? Because there's no like objective measure. Like when you make the major leagues, major leagues, you like made the team. You like were on.

I'm made. I'm on the Angels. I'm on the Dodgers. I'm a major league baseball player. It's an objective measure. Comedy and art. entertainment there's nobody that like how what's making it i don't know you can you can what's making it because you make money because you sell tickets like you know do you have to be kevin hard to make it

like it just goes like this right we're like with sports you just know i'm on the team i made it that's that's what it is and so for for us for me there's like a lot of like what am i even doing why am i doing this this sucks that sucks and then you have like these spurts i have like these spurts of like creativity and I get and then it's when I do all my writing like the hour that I'm doing now I wrote most of it in like a two week spur a year and a half ago and then for almost a year it's been like almost absolutely nothing but trying to perfect this hour that I'll shoot in a few months but then the hour I did before that I wrote it truly in like 24 months like every month was writing something was creating something and you know I go you go through a lot of like

Well, maybe I should look at that guy's process or maybe I should be more like that. And now I'm just at the point where it's just, I guess you just get exhausted by it. I'm like, you know what, dude, I got to find happy moments throughout the day. I got to be happy with what I have because this shit, like you said,

it's going to be up and down. And also I have kids. So once you have children, you're like, does any of this really fucking? I just care if my kids are okay. I don't care what else is going on. It's crazy. That's, we're going to talk about that in a bit.

But it's interesting when you talk about like that process and just kind of being in the flow of it. Because even for this podcast stuff, like I don't, like, example you come on the podcast I look up like very brief stuff about you and I don't like go in crazy detail and I just kind of like wing a conversation I've kind of and I'm looking back now on all my content it's always been just like fucking winging it like I don't I don't bullet point things like but this is something I did want to talk to you brought up your kids um because I was thinking about

I was I looked up as all your kids your family um which what do you think about and this is like a steering like really opposite direction what we were talking about prior but I guess not really because it kind of has to do with the internet internet age in general but as a father do your kids go to a school or do they are they private school how is it my kids go to yeah catholic school in new york um and then my baby is only two so um she works i have her working in a prison camp in china um because sending her up to the future yeah and um communism dude i love it dude you guys fellas mostly you got i have the best view of bradley martin's prostate right now it's fucking and ripped nice um he's got a 60 on his prostate yeah and um and so no so i sent him to private school a catholic school because i went to catholic school my whole life i know that catholic church has a black eye from some of the stuff but for me it's like there's discipline there they're regimented there they don't deal they're not on like the public school system like it's

kind of like you have it's kind of like we have a we don't have to deal with uh you know the bureaucracy of this humongous politically motivated school system. It's exactly what I was going to talk to you about. It's individual. So like we just deal the school, like the parents, us as the parents, we are our own governing body and we kind of dictate to the staff what we think is best for our kids.

And usually we're all in line because most of us are thinking the same. Yeah, it's fine. I'm glad you brought up exactly what I was going to ask you about was because I had this conversation with someone, I was, I was at some event and I talked to this guy. I had kids. He was telling me how like he,

had a conversation with his daughter. And this was after the fact because he listened to her in like a Zoom conversation with the teacher at the time. Okay. And his kid must, his kid was like eight or nine or something. And the teacher was talking about like her opinion on like this person and they had a car. They had like a nice Ferrari. And the teacher's opinion was like,

he should sell that Ferrari and give us money to a homeless person and like, and give it back to his community. Like, Ferraris are bad. And it's like, why are we telling a nine year old? So the thing that I'm talking about is the personal biases that like, like teachers or people have like specifically I would say and I mean all people have it but in like

the public school system where like if people feel like you know now we're talking about this political motivated whatever this or that people kind of insert themselves in like what like it has no place in inserting that sort of like conversation with children I hired when I when we were in school for me I think about school as I've putting my trust in you if you were my kids teacher what I want you to teach them basically is reading, writing, and arithmetic. I want you to teach all this other stuff. That's not your job, man. That's your job.

I don't need you to tell them what politics are. I don't need you to teach them about masturbation. I don't need you to talk them about sex. I don't need that. That's my job as a parent. We'll handle that. You teach them the basics building blocks they need to get through society, reading, writing, and arithmetic, and that's it.

And that's why I like the school my kids go to because that's pretty much what it is. They're not, if they, now, if they see something, a behavior. year old issue developing in class they'll talk to us hey i think you should talk to your daughter about this because it doesn't seem like they understand boom great i'm not going to let where sometimes now you know you want to um listen man the whole idea of the state meddling in family affairs is like a new idea that is not what in george washington's time you the state would never get involved in if you i'm telling this is how crazy this is a fact in georg colonial america if you killed your wife it would be up to you if you killed your wife the state's that that's a family thing

holy shit you know it's just wait wait wait wait it's a family thing you could kill the if you killed a person in a bar outside that's a law that's against law but i'm not going to get involved in anything at all with your family what happened to that it's just the fucking slowly but surely the state gets involved in everything i mean even the fact the state dictates everything you do now. Yeah. So it's like that it wasn't designed that way. The founding fathers didn't want.

Obviously killing your wife's extreme example. Yeah. But it's still like that was true. They're never going to get involved in anything with your family. Where now it's like you'll tell me, the state will tell me what my kids should and shouldn't be doing. So I know that there's no way to really stop that. We're probably going down this roller coaster, whether we like it or not. But I just look for the little ways that I can slow it down.

But that's such an interesting conversation because that's, to, To just go like, we're going there regardless, it's fucking scary because that, like, the state doesn't have our, or any of our best interests at heart. They have money and financial gain and whatever the fuck. It's just like, whether it's left or right, all this bullshit, I'm not getting into politics of it. But like, no matter what, that's how it is and that's how it's like always been. So now it's like, now people are, that's the thing I can't stand about how people allow so much of it in and like people fucking fight each other over this shit. It's like, dude, this, this conglomerate of power is. not cared in anything. Well, I was talking to Andrew Santino about this on his podcast. And it's

even though it sounds scary, I think the only way, if you want like full peace, the only way then is to forget about humans being politicians, being leaders, give it all to AI. Give it all to computer algorithms. Let them, then you'll have as much diversity as you want, as much peace. You will have everything is in black and white. You do this, this, this and this and this is what happened. And this is what's going to happen. It's horrific. I don't want that to happen. but it seems like that's where we're going anyway. 60, 70 years, I doubt that we're going to have a government the way it exists today. I would have to assume AI is going to be heavily involved.

But then it's just someone else putting the codes in. Well, no, not if AI starts to become autonomous, then it's just, it's running itself. I think it's just going to get rid of us at that point. Where it's going, maybe, maybe not. Like Terminator shit. It might, but I, but I'm like, you know, what like right now you see like, especially like in America, it's like you can't have, you know, 150, 50 million people hating the guy the party that's in charge that's never that's just not going to

work and that's what we're at you know it's just not going to work so so why do they why do you think they try to make it feel like it's the other way around I think that I honestly think because every single human I talk to is like what the fuck's going on well because I think that now it's you know I don't even know how you could prove it or whatever I'm sure people way smarter than me can but now it's like pretty clear that whatever you're looking at from your phone to your TV to everything is the algorithm showing you what you want to see and your neighbor next door

could have a 100% different algorithm seeing what they want to see so you both believe your worlds to be as true if you're on the right leaning side of it you cannot believe how people could vote for Joe Biden you cannot believe it and then on the other side if you're on the left leaning side you cannot believe how people don't think Joe Biden is amazing

and you cannot believe about anyone vote for Trump so you see and but they're as convicted as both right next door to each other and they think they're looking at they think they're looking at the same Netflix and the same Instagram and they're not they're looking at yeah the same you know the same website but it's different content coming at you yeah based on what they watch exactly the same funnel so so you have these people so for me the only reprieve minor reprieve I get is just not being on social media anymore and and as much as I can not trying to take in

24 hour news yeah because you know when you have to have a network like Fox News, CNN, whichever side of it, 24-hour news, when they have to create the news, they'll do anything they can to create it. They will create news when there's no news. And that's the scariest thing because you have people who just accept that as fact when it's like with all the AI, with everything, you don't know what type of edited video you're seeing. You don't know if there's really a war. You don't know what the hell is going on. here there was like a there was a what was it a type of tornado or hurricane it was a hurricane in l a it was like they made it sound like it was going to like just destroy l a yeah it was like nothing

out here yeah or like people like you know saying that there was Ebola going through burning man it's like none of this is real this isn't real but then you have people you know like running to like drug stores buying masks because they think Ebola with a 50% death rate is coming across the country to uh you know where i was in new york and i'm like you know none of this is real Like it's if the if the news once, and this has been going on for, it's not just 24 hour news, this is even before this. Once the news, once the media decided the public loves the news, they love it. This is what sells a lot of money. This is what sells a lot of ad dollars.

We're going to make news when there's no news. You're, we're fucked. And that's what it is. And now it's just the problem with it now is that it's, they've realized that no one's really turn on the TV anymore. So everything's going to social media and it's happening even. faster. The only hope is, I think, you know, I have a 13-year-old stepson and an eight-year-old daughter.

I asked this question about the kids because I want to have a family. I want to have kids and I'm like, fuck. Right. I can tell dude, you have eight dogs. So it's like, once you start seeing a guy with so many pets, you're like, this guy fucking needs to have a family. Yeah, I need have a family. And he's going to get eaten alive by his pets. So, wait, wait, hold on. Talking about that, I seen a clip. I don't know who the fuck it was.

It was a guy talking to someone about your dogs or you're like your cats eating you after you die. Really? This was going viral. Did you see that clip? I'm sure it's true He saw that clip He saw that click There was a clip

I don't know Someone was talking to some guy Maybe was some professional About animals eating I don't know what the fuck Okay But apparently after you die Like cats eat you really quick

Right Dogs wait a little longer Right Yeah cats are Cats are vicious bitches I don't like cats I don't have pets at all Because I got too many kids

But I don't I don't People have pets Good for you I think sometimes Actually being an owner Of a pet It's harder than a child

Because it's like There's no No way. I think it's harder, man. There's no way. I don't know, dude. There's no way. I feel like it is. I feel like at least the kids, you know, sometimes they'll listen. You can just fucking throw them in the car. They'll sit in the car so I could strap them down with these dogs. I don't know, dude. Why don't you don't have? You think having dogs is easy? Yeah. My dogs are really well. They are. You got big dogs too. We had two, one big dog, two like medium sized dogs. Do you think once you have kids, you'll get more dogs or less dogs? I'll always have. dogs. I don't know if I have more than three. But it doesn't like, okay, so, so, because the thing is with me being a parent like, you know, obviously kids always want an animal. They always want a pet. And the thought of like getting my kids like bathing them, feeding them, getting them to bed, how much that takes. And then having to fucking go walk a dog. I can't do it. I can't even fathom. That's crazy. Because it's like relaxing. See, but that's what I got to get to that place because

I don't hate animals. But I just don't, I don't want to, I don't want to be responsible for them to. you know what i mean it's easier that you just go you can be on a walk and just like honestly he's relaxing and maybe i had bad experiences then i had a dalmatian her name was crewella and when i was is that her is that her that was her name that's no way that was her name cruella i was 10 my mom let me name her and i was a gay little queen that loved 101 dalmatians and um so you named it a villain that was like trying to kill the dogs and then she ate she ate she ate we let her go in the basement once so my mom told me to put her in the cage and i just she just wouldn't go in the cage so i just let her go in the basement and she ate all of our

Chloroxin was dead on the floor and I found her. So maybe that's what fucked me. That's traumatic. Yeah. Maybe. Fuck. That's why you don't want dogs, bro. Yeah, dude.

You fucking killed one. I killed one. I was the original Tide pod challenge. Jesus. That's dark. Yeah. You should redo that. Get a Dalmatian, you know.

Well, I mean, my girl, you know, Jasmine, she wants a dog. She wants a pit bull, Puerto Ricans. And she, um, she wants one. But I'm like, no. All I've heard. Okay. So here's, here's a thing. I'm a victim of this.

You're a dog lover. you know about dogs you tell somebody like me very uninformed very i am purposely and people do this with politics and the news i'm purposely making myself uneducated and being ignorant i would tell you i'm not going to get a pit bull because i know it's going to kill my kids yeah that's insane because that's what you hear on the news they're like the nicest sweetest dogs ever but the news will cherry pick anytime a pit bull kill someone that's what's on the news so that's what someone like me who chooses to be uninformed i'm like all pit bulls kill people it's funny no because it's It's all how you raise the dog.

And they just, they're actually the sweetest dog. They're not going to hurt anybody. Fuck no. Unless you train them to. Exactly. Because they have, because they can be built to like have that sort of damage, right? Right.

But you'd have to treat it a certain way to get it to just elicitous damage on something. Okay. But now what happens if in the middle of the night, somebody breaks in, the pit bull's going to go after that motherfucker. If you train it. I mean, the pit bull, it depends all you train, all dogs. It's all how you train it.

Because like, it's not just going to nately try to kill someone. Right. No, unless you teach it to like attack like an intruder. It's not just going to. So the owner, so any pit bull that kills a dog, you have to go, you have to kill the owner. You have to, I mean, the owner is the one who made that a weapon. Something, unless someone before was like treated bad, they rescued it. Who knows what came along with it?

Because it's, it's all how it was treated. Because the dogs, the dog, the thing is it's not a dog is not a killer. It's just, it's just built to be able to kill. But it's, I don't want to get them anything with like that move. I want to get the, I want to get, I'll get them like a parakeet. No, dude. Get them pit bull. Pipples are the sweetest dogs.

Get a pit bull, rescue it like from a puppy, like a puppy, because there's tons of them. I have both those dogs in their rescues both the pit bulls and the sweetest dogs on the planet bro you have to you don't one might kill something something though right one of them might because like you think he's just a little fucked up no because that one just like it just kind has a little hair trigger on her no I'm telling you we never attack a baby though when I walked in and I saw the pit bull my I felt it in my asshole I was so no no be honest be honest when bam's the sweetest dog in the planet she came up and she went who she gives a little how because it's like that's like a greeting like oh friends that's how dogs do

for a second though because it kind of ran up to you and your friend were you like oh fuck yes yeah well i don could tell you i didn't want to walk through your front door because i was like what if there's dogs in before you came in before i came in before i answered your front door i was like i don't want to go like your little courtyard i was like i don't want to go in there's dogs and he was like dude just walk in the door the dog i'm like no it's gonna attack me he's like walk in and he went in first like he was fucking ops the dog like he was a navy seal he went in first and i worked in behind him like because bam really did go ooh and i know i saw you guys like oh yeah you guys froze up I'm not a dog guy.

I'm not a dog guy. I'm not a nature guy, but I'm trying to change. You don't like nature? Trying to change these things. Such a New York thing. I grew up in New York, man. I grew up in the city and I had moved to the suburbs out to like, you know, a nice suburban area of New York.

And I lived there for two years and I sold my house. I was like, we got to go back to the city. I need to be able to walk to the bagel store and see homeless people. That's how I live my life. I need to do homeless people. I, dude, I think I could never live in New York. Right. Are you from out here, though?

I'm from San Francisco. But I grew up in like a small town just outside. I went to school in San Francisco. Right. But like, I don't like everything stacked. Right. I can't do it, man. Right.

You like that? Yes, I like to, I want. It's fucking nonstop. See, I like, I like the safety in numbers. And I like to be around a lot of people. I like, I get lonely really quick, which is, it's interesting. I hate, I despot. I hate being away from home.

I hate going on the road. I hate traveling. And I'm a professional comedian that literally. the only way for me to make a livable income for my family is to be doing the thing that I hate. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have to find a way to love it. I don't, I love doing stand-up, but I love, when I'm on the road, you know, my guys will tell you like, I'm so lonely. As soon as I get somewhere, I'm like, I got to go home. I want to go home. I need to go home. And so I don't know why I think this way, act this way. But for me, you know, when I'm in the city, when I'm back in

New York, I don't know. I just feel like I'm in the flow where I'm supposed to be. And, and I'm supposed to be. I'm sure it's just, you know, it's some fear-based. I mean, it probably all ties back to me finding my dog dead from eating Clorox. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. What else? What else? Have you gone through anything else fucked up in your life? Anything like that? 9-11. 9-11. Yeah, 9-11. How old were you? I thought my 17. I thought my mom was dead. She worked in the second tower that was hit. So we thought she was dead but she was she survived she she got out um and then uh she fell off the bus in brooklyn she escaped 9-11 like the biggest tragedy of american history and then fell off the bus 20 miles away and i was like where to go she's like there was a same day yeah the same day

she was like there was a hole in the floor and i fell and i ripped my panty hose and she just had blood running down her leg because when i saw her like with the blood on her lake you're like oh no i was like what the fuck i'm joining the army she's like no i fell up the bus i was like how did you escape Osama bin Laden and then he fell off the fucking Q-55 fuck what's what story was young? I don't know

actually like high 20s you know enough which you would have been done do you think that was a whole conspiracy or what? Listen at first no and I was like definitely one of those people that were like who you fucking say it's conspiracy what are you with ISIS

but now as time goes on and again maybe and I'm very aware of the fact that maybe this is just my algorithm pushing these things at me that can easily distort the facts. But it does feel like America wanted to go to war. I do understand now that we are a warring clan and that war is a business and that these contractors need to make money and that I do understand that we will get involved with stuff to make money.

That I think is crystal clear. I think that's undeniable. Undeniable on both sides of the algorithm. I think that some head of state might even admit that one day publicly. We just know it. And so with that being said, I mean, I don't know. that happening and then you being in Afghanistan two weeks later

it's like no weapons of mass destruction there for a very long time then proving all the people were Saudis on it we had we going to set so it starts to be like ah I it feels like it you know um the building seven stuff I mean I don't know I mean they present an argument

that's pretty plausible you know like that they feels though I did watch one thing about how they some on 9-11 how there was a fifth plane there was a plane that never took off there was a plane that was supposed to and they stopped it and they what I didn't know they stopped it they it didn't take off because 9-11 had already happened so they did a full ground stop and then this plane didn't take off and the flight attendants on that plane I saw an interview with them they said there were like people and it was a pretty empty flight there were people in first class they said there was one they remember that day they were like because they had told the pilot we have four before 9-11 before anybody towers got hit they were like taxiing they had they were like listen there's four people in first class that are acting very strange we don't know if we should take off like maybe we want

to get you know security on here or something they said it was you know a middle eastern guy a middle eastern guy and a little child and the middle eastern guy was like screaming at the flight attendants like we need to take off now like skip this line get off. I'm late for a business meeting, which is like weird. It's like, obviously they can't skip on the line when you're taxing, but this guy was like, instead it was dripping in sweat, which they were like noticing like it wasn't that hot that morning. So like, why is this guy dripping in sweat? Then they said there was a woman sitting in a full burqa with like just the eyes, but they knew it was a man. It would look like a man. Like she was like he had like

legs like a man. It felt like it was a man, but she's dressed as a woman. So it was alarming to them were like, you know, this is 2001. It's like nobody's trans, like openly trans yet or very few people. So it's like, it's not like, we respect like what you want to do, how you identify. They were like this fucking, dude. Are you a guy dressed like a Muslim woman? And so, but they, they let the, they let the captain know. And he's like, listen, like, whatever, we got to go.

We'll deal with it. Then there's a ground stop, right? So they get off the plane, whatever. So they're, you know, taking, they're leaving that they get off the plane. the uh the the flight attendants you know the people get off the plane and then the flight attendants get off the plane and they were the flight attendants were the last people to get off right usually they're the last people to get off a maintenance worker i think it was united a maintenance worker from united came on to the plane and said oh they said that they want me to you know take

you know uh lock up this plane which she said was rare but it's not unheard of these airport employee but whatever so they go they lock up he locks up whatever the next day they're told to just stay in their hotel their airport hotel the next day the FBI I'm sorry not the next day two hours later like immediately the FBI knocks on their door they get the pilot and all the flight attendants in one room and the FBI is like there ready to go they're like two hours after two hours after it was immediate I thought it was the next day but it was immediate So they say to that the the FBI says to the flight attendant and the pilot Why did you why was the floorboard open in the in the in the in the

cockpit and they're like what are you talking about? They're like if the floor board was open and we found we found razor blades on the floor of the cockpit and they were like we do what are you talking about we didn't why would we do that we didn't do that? none of us did that and then the flight of time remembered oh shit the maintenance worker was the last one in there so they think that the maintenance team there were people involved on the inside they were already working for the airlines that were involved trying to get weapons onto the planes for these potential for hijackers the people who were acting strange and that was going to be

the fifth plane and and also furthermore one of the the plane whatever the however they number the planes like you know t one two three four one of the planes when they when they parked them there was planes that this plane that was talking about was like say t one two three four well plane t one two three four five they found box cutters in the first class seats and the four first class seats that these other people were sitting on they found them in another plane with box cutters in the back pockets of the aircraft so they they must have fucked up and put the box cutters on the wrong airline but they but they but so they they were like how much of an inside job was this within the airline how many people were

really at play is like a mystery but it was a very interesting documentary called i think it was called the fifth plane you know what's interesting what if what if you just made all that up just completely made up story well this is what this fact to hack the algorithm well this is the thing this is what this is why i'm a professional comedian because i did make all that up imagine you want to see me on tour christiecombe dot combe sold out and half the fucking that'd be a great dude i've been you got to be locked in yeah do no i i know that's real i think i think i think i think I think I saw this one as well but yeah I mean the whole thing just it just screamed like I think what I had a guy on here the other day is my buddy zirka and he was like anything that's like

a conspiracy that they promote like is probably not a conspiracy right right yeah because yeah that's a good point because that that would probably be more of like a distraction right I'll tell you what I had a CIA agent on my podcast um a couple weeks ago and it was interesting I said to him I said listen dude I know that there's tell me the fucking secrets yeah exactly how jerk you fucker fucker or all jerk you off yes why not or all jerk you off yes or all jerk you off okay and um and so i do i get wild you know i have a fun pod whatever and and so and so i i said to him what is i know that you can't say stuff i know that there's secrets i'm aware but like what you as an individual he you have a wife kids i said what keeps you up at night what have you learned through your past 20

years that genuinely keeps you up at night where you're like fuck i wish i never knew that and i'm paralyzed with fear because of this secret that the american public doesn't know he was like there's a that's a great question i'm a professional fuck that's a really good question there's you can take it you can have it um so so they so there's so there's so there's he said there's a couple of things obviously i can't tell you it's like secrecy and you know sworn but if you got this guy drunk and jerked Mawfee probably tell you, 100%. So I said, what, what, you know, what is it? And he said, the thing that I can share with you, this isn't the number one thing,

but this is up there. He goes, the thing that I can share with you is our power grid, our, we can be put back to the Stone Age, like pre-colonial times within five minutes. If our enemy gets at our power grid, he said, our power grids are the most vulnerable power grids of any first world nation. people were able to hack them in a second and you would have upwards of a hundred million people dead in this country alone within six months he was like because you i'm talking about no power no water supply nothing for six months we would not be able to get it up for at least six months he

goes now we're working retroactively to upgrade these things saying this like well he said you know it's pretty public knowledge to the powers that be um but he said that is a thing that absolutely Absolutely, we are in jeopardy of. He was like, it's not a nuke. No one's going to nuke us. No one's going to invade mainland USA. He goes, you know, even terrorists, it's like, it might happen again, but it's not going to, it's not going to debilitate you. He's like, we stop the shit all the time.

We're really, you know, weapons and all that. We're so far ahead of every other country. It's not even close. Someone's going to come flip a light switch. He said, but that's how they'll get you. He said, if China's going to go into a world war with us or Russia, mostly China, though. He said it's not, they're not, no, we're not invading them. They're not invading us.

It's not going to happen. And he said, and he, and he was like being diplomatic about it. He was like, our army, our military is 10 times better than anybody else's military in the world. We would crush China in a fight. He said, whatever people want to say about U.S. military being weak and it's all bullshit. We spend, he was like, we spend our military budget is more than every other country's budget combined. He was like, but it is stupid. We don't, there's no reason to have these weapons like this anymore because they can hit

power grid and then we're all fucked and that's what we're vulnerable at where other countries aren't he said other countries have taken money and instead of building nukes and tanks and you know flying fucking soldiers they're upgrading their their their uh tech systems that they're impenetrable so he was like so that's that's the thing that keeps me up at night yeah i know dude Jesus he told that he told us some shit dude it was crazy he see so there's also another conspiracy this is an interesting one and and why and it didn't you know like like make it on the pod and i you know we edit everything out but he was saying that because i there was a conspiracy that one of my friends brought to my attention that you know when trump travels he still travels

with the presidential motorcade which like no ex-president trump obama nobody gets that it's it would be like two million dollars a fucking day just to travel you can't do it he has still has a full presidential mode wherever that guy goes fucking motorcycles, limos, every... Fuck yeah. Same shit because some people

think there's a conspiracy about some type of clause that he signed maybe before January 6th after where he's actually still the president.

He still has all the presidential power and somehow, I don't know it's deep. It's deep, right? It's fucking deep out there and that Biden's not really the president.

Trump still is based off his motorcade. So this is cut out of the podcast? Yeah, so I brought that up to him. So I brought that up to him. I brought that up to him and he goes, I can't comment on that.

I won't comment on that. And it goes, as a matter of fact, edit out, you even asking me that question. I swear to cry. And I was like, what? And then he was open to anything else. He was like, edit that out. And then when we were leaving, he goes, make sure you edit out that question. I don't, don't even ask me that.

I was like, sure. What the fuck? You've confirmed it. Should we put that in? I mean, bro, that's, bro, that's, I mean, just none of it makes sense that. It doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. he's it's it's it's it's it's one of those things where listen dude I don't know I don't know I don't know the intricacies of the political world I don't know any of that shit but I do think I mean we know how dirty it is now I mean there is no difference between the Biden family and the Trump family there's no it's all the same shit it's all the same things it's just and somebody like I use my mom as a gauge of things I usually use my mom as a gauge of if you're really actually famous my mom would know who you are because like that's how you know you're like

I mean, fame is a different thing now. It's like, fame isn't what it used to be. It's not the same metrics anymore. But like my mom, like, she is your classic American citizen that sees the news and believes that nobody's lying and that what the news tells me is hard. Fact and truth. She's like a classic mom. Like, I will not question it. You know, alcohol is good for you because the government said Marijuana is bad for you because the government made it illegal.

And that's there's just no further thinking. I go to church. I don't care that they molested little boys. I go to church because that's what Jesus tells me to do. Like that's how she is. And even she now, even she is starting to be like, you know,

these politicians are bad people. And I'm like, yes, they are, mom. Yes, but that's the crazy thing. It's like,

my mom very similar. I'm just shocked that there's people like willing to attack each other, like so like crazy on the internet about this opposing viewpoints that it's like, what you're saying, I believe to be entirely true is like, it's all fucked up. But like people want to be like,

But I'm right, though. Well, see, even that with social media, it's like, or the internet, it's like you can't, how do you know you're not arguing with some bot? You might be arguing with AI all the time. I don't argue with any, any negative comment I see on social media. I genuinely believe in my heart. That's probably a bot. That's all the other America's enemies, whoever you think they are, maybe even America themselves to cause division. I don't fucking know anymore are spending billions of dollars a year on AI technology to cause division.

so when you have someone fighting with you or you see something some type of meme or whatever it's probably not real it's probably not human at all it's some AI algorithm programming coder guy that was paid to cause the division some Saudi Arabian some Russian they're just doing this what the fuck is the point of it the division just because the weak and stupid that and then they make a lot of money they make a lot of money on war they make a lot of money when people watch the news when we're all when we get divided and we get upset about something And we watched the news that night to see a debate, to see our, our side heard on Fox News or CNN or what have you. They make a lot of money, man.

You know, the ad companies make a lot of money when they get a lot of viewers. And the social media companies make a lot of money when we're on their app. So they're like, how do we get people there? We keep them mad. We keep them divided. You know what's funny about this? I remember this was like, I guess, during COVID or pre-COVID? When did Trump become president?

2016 pre-COVID. So pre-COVID. And then it was like to go re-elected. at what year he got reelected in 2020 okay no no no yes he did he didn't yeah oh that's that's based on the CIA guys I'm saying sorry he's not yours no he's the best he's the president so sorry Donnie yeah I agree I agree but so listen so here's the thing right I remember during that whole like you know they're you know Biden initiative they're coming I was like wow this this actually makes sense to me it felt like because

mainstream media was dying so crazy because do you remember that you remember that period when like trump came on to twitter and then everyone on social media and everyone on the internet was like it was like picking things he would tweet and put it on like it'd be all over instagram it was everywhere like his presence as a president like presidency started to feel like social media prior to that like everyone prior never felt like oh this is everyone in the world's talking about in the world as in our world social media world the western world we're all talking about the election and the presidency and like this corruption, this or that. I remember sitting back in me like, holy shit, this is the point where mainstream media realize how much power

they've lost and how much viewership they've lost. And this is their massive play, President Trump, this big character to push everyone's interest to social media in politics. Sure. And after that, it's just been like everyone is just like attacking each other as I guess people would have prior to like this like inception from like mainstream media trickle. into social media and like yeah that's what I remember thinking like this is crazy because now it's like like because imagine if you don't have the people's eyes or ears because no one's tuned anymore in the television how are you dividing or controlling or like moving people and and Trump became that president that pushed everyone to like to that oh now it's relevant

on social media right because I remember that very clearly yeah I think well now you know all the powers that be the money the advertising money like you said it's all on social media It's all that's where it's all being pumped to to the YouTube every every headline was so fucking negative and I just remember thinking like people don't realize that because this is the truth everyone listening people don't realize that if you could say you're on Twitter and you're CNN or Fox and you could be like CNN did this shit a bunch they're like basically like if you're in this demographic like almost like you're going to die of COVID so if like you're like wait I'm 35 you click on that link the more people think you click on that link the more money they could charge an advertiser to sit on their page and like a little sidebar. So that they go, we have all these people who are 35 this A, like they're literally targeting the demographic they want that an advertiser is going to them saying how many people from this demographic. And they're like targeting it with a negative news headline to get those people in the door. Sure. Push them to a product that's sitting on the sidebar on a website. Right.

When before it was like you're getting people to tune into a television where it's like shooting it and then there's like this, you know, this pharmaceutical, uh, advertisement or there's this other advertisement that was paying there and that's all dying. Now they're just translating everything over to the internet and people don't realize that. No. And they get, they get stuck. They get so angry at, you know, like people make it their whole identity to hate someone they don't even know. Like they'll like, like I made a decision in my life where it's like, if I don't know you personally, I won't let you affect my life positive or negative. You just, I can't let you affect my well-being because it, you're taking in like, I'll, I'll listen to people, you know, be like, I hate Trump or I hate Biden. I'm like, you don't know them. You know clips that the media shows. you have them. You don't even you're making this up. You've never met these people. Yeah. You've never met the actress or actor you. Hey, you don't know Kim Kardashian. Yeah. You just know the little shit that's served to you. Why are you letting this affect your everyday life? If someone you know personally is in your space and I get that. But other than that, I'm like it and I was victim to it. But then I got to a point where I was like what I know we're all one and I know

we're all connected. I believe in that. Especially having kids. I believe in the spirituality of it. I believe that like i get it but it's also like you have to protect your sanity a little bit where it's like guy what the fuck do you want me to do about ukraine i can't help you i don't know what you want me to do what do you want me to do that there's injustices in fucking give them all your money in san francisco what the fuck do you want me to do i live in new i live in a fucking three bedroom apartment in new york give them all your money man seriously you're just greedy it's fucked up yeah i know that's what they want it's like i'll just oh yeah so i just don't i i i watch the local news i you know i'm just comedian you know you're supposed to be informed i'm like i just talk about what

happens in my family i don't care about what's going on in the news anymore i really i what if we're going to get i'll deal with it when it's on my doorstep when the chinese knock and tell me get in the prison camp i'll say great my two-year-old's been working for you guys a long time please give us a nice sell her name is minfong so uh fuck that's funny what do you who do you think are are like the top five you do top five comedians like of all time um based on influence bill cosby um no top top five based on influence i like that was good that was good um no top five comics i would say obviously this is you know subjective everybody you know comedy is like a very personal thing so i

understand people but for me personally i would say the top five are louis c k bill burr dave schpell Chris Rock And then I would have it I would have it Between Kevin Hart And then me personally He's not as famous as other ones And he died a long time ago

But Sam Kinnison Old school Sam Kinnison That was my guy I grew up watching him I loved him But those are the guys But for me On a very personal level

Like motivated me to do comedy Was definitely Bill Burr And Louis CK Those are the guys that like You know spoke to me Look like me Another comedian It might be someone

Completely different But for me for me those are those were the guys because i saw a lot of honesty in their comedy and they weren't doing what i like about their comedy and what i try to emulate my own is you when you watch a bill burr louis k hour they're not doing jokes they're just being funny like it's not like here's my next joke it's not it's like they're just having a conversation with you and it's fucking hilarious and before the show even you know begins like you think like before the show even ends you're you're like holy shit the shit is over i didn't even know what started yet like i thought he was

going to come out and do like you know i was on the airplane today and blah blah blah but it's like no he's just coming out and being funny immediately and i like that it's conversational it's like just the guy at the end of the bar talking shit i like and i like Shane gillis's new special that's out right now that's very similar to that kind of comedy and i like that i like that comedy a lot it's almost like just who the people really are that exactly any comic by the way who does says oh this is my next joke or they do actual written jokes that's great that's there that's a big audience for that it's just like not my cup of tea i like um i like that i like the conversational um comedy and for me i i use comedy to just be like it's cathartic for me it helps me but then also i'm like hey if i can

help somebody forget about their shit for an hour that's great i don't have to be the biggest comic of all time you know that's what it's what it is i think that's the most important part of is like just kind of escaping bullshit you know i met when i met kevin hart he came to my my gym did it like a workout like shoot for some company he was working with and uh he's actually a comedian that i met and he was not trying to do a bit i swear dude everything out of this dude's mouth was hilarious of course like no cameras nothing yeah and i was just like this guy's just fucking funny just naturally funny man like not not even trying he has it kevin hard it's and it's and it's like it depends like what you know he used comedy i'm sure as a skill you know short

you know you know i heard guys that knew him he was getting made fun of a lot and he just develop it like as like a defense mechanism as like a survival mechanism I meant and so therefore you're going to get one of the funniest guys ever he he's not doing it to make money like the money and fame came second he was doing it because he loved it and it was just like a good thing for him so yeah yeah um go back i want to go back conspiracy theories a little bit uh do you believe in the alien shit but i feel like when they came out like oh aliens are fucking real i'm like maybe they're fake now i think i think they got to be real though i think they got to be real and i think that i mean you know, there's so much, you know, like people say, how big the universe is, there has to be

more life than us. I would agree with that. I do think if I had to guess, again, I don't know. If I had to guess, I would think that a lot of the UFOs and stuff you see is just our own technology that we're not being upfront about. Human technology, maybe U.S. and China, whatever. And maybe they found aliens and they reverse engineered it. But I think this whole idea of like the aliens are invading. If that did happen, I think it would be perceived, put off as aliens. Maybe they even look like aliens, but it's like the government's made those. I think like an actual real alien that's coming, that the government had no idea was happening,

would either eviscerate us right away or would just be different. I think that, you know, we're seeing things in the sky that look like a flying saucer. It's like, also they look like the thing from the movies from the 60s. So I would think like if it was a real advanced civilization, it would be. be in colors and shapes that don't exist. It would be in things that you can't even fathom it at all. But it's like if it looks like a perfect circle or a triangle, I'm like, yeah, dude, somebody made that in Nevada.

Yeah, we, we thought about that a long time ago. Yeah, somebody just made that. It's like, I would think that they're not dealing with the same principles we are. But, you know, again, what the fuck do I know? Yeah. I have no idea, dude. I don't even know. I might want to get a dog now.

You should. At the end of the part, I think I, I think you've convinced me. I've come full circle. I think I want to go back. and I want to get a dog. I want to get a dog. But I actually do. I would like a pit bull that's trained to kill.

You should. You should have a nice one and a train to kill. Yeah. And you have to guess which one it is. Yeah. Yeah. You decide where you, like do you keep it inside or outside?

Switch them out. Yeah. So your friends are like, get them like really similar looking so they can't really tell the difference. Right. And then they just play jokes on them. Yeah. But,

but okay. So conspiracy theories aside, let's talk about like the fact that you, apparently you got a doctorate in physical therapy. yes what the fuck dude why did you why the fuck did I even do why did you do that why did you do that I think at the time I wanted to after college I was looking for a career that I was like I can have decent hours I want to be pediatric physical therapist working to school which I wound up doing I was like I can get summers off you know I'll get good health insurance this

and that and then I went through school became a therapist and then I simultaneously started comedy while I was doing physical therapy my third year of physical therapy school I got into comedy and then I was doing them both burning the candle at both ends you know pediatric physical therapist comedy at night and then it got to the point where I got was getting comedy I was doing so much comedy

I was on a show on MTV called Guy Code and then I was missing so much work as a physical therapist to go you're like fuck these kids fuck these kids I was tipping over their wheelchairs yeah fuck them and so and so actually the principal of the school that I was a physical therapist at because mostly mentally physically handicapped kids

she was like listen you know some of the parents you know know that you're on this show guy code and they don't have a problem with it but the principal's like I have a problem with it because I watched an episode and the episode I watched was it was you for five minutes talking about the guy code to hiding your boner so I was like

you can't cheat treat children and also be talking about hiding your boner fuck and I was like oh shit conversation really happened on swear to God and she was like like um she was like so you're gonna have to choose and she was like you know you'd be an idiot if you chose comedy i swear to god she'd oh that would have fired me up she was like you'd be an idiot and she was like because you know you're you're you have a great salary here you're making $55,000 a year you have full health benefits and she was like you know she was like you're you're you're

pursued this stuff you should not leave and i was like okay i was like um you know i really feel like i should leave though and she was like you'll regret this forever you're gonna regret this ever and I was like okay so I I called my dad and I was like hey dad I just quit my physical therapy job to do comedy he was like that's fuck you right and he was like but we can't tell your mother and I was like yeah I know because my mom would like lose her shit he goes listen he goes don't tell don't tell you mom anything just this was March this you know school doesn't end until June she was like don't we're not going to tell you mother anything anything for three months nothing for three months don't say a word nothing and I was like okay and then

And he was like, he was like, you know, until you get on your feet financially, because, you know, it wasn't making any, you know, you don't make much money at all in the beginning of comedy. He was like, you can live here with me in my basement. So I was like, okay, cool. So I was kind of, you know, going to work every day. But I was really just going to coffee shops and writing, you know, doing open mics, whatever. And then about two weeks into that, MTV called my manager at the time. I was like, hey, we heard Chris quit his job. You know, he's been on guy code.

We want to get him involved in our other projects here. you know on camera off camera what we'll do is we'll give him a salary to stay only he can only work for MTV can't do anything for VH1 he can't do anything for Comedy Central only MTV for the next three years we're going to give him a salary and I told you

he was making $55,000 years a physical therapist so they were like we'll give him $150,000 a year oh baby so they fucking tripled it and I was like holy in two weeks you gave me exactly what I want tripled my salary and I was like and then I haven't looked back since then And it was kind of one of those moments for me

where I was like it was a risk But I was like I'd rather My father had good advice He was like you'd rather do this now When you're younger Because you don't want to have any regrets on your deathbed He was like if you You already have they can't take your doctorate away from you

He's like so or you got your physical therapy license You'll find another job Yeah So he's like so but if you don't do this now You're gonna regret it forever And you're not gonna want to live like that He's like so just fucking take a chance And then and then I did

And now that's fucking yeah Do you ever talk to that lady again it's like fuck me um what a no you know what i never saw her ever again i saw some of the therapists that i worked with um that uh they came to shows years ago they came to shows and they're like yeah that principal fucking hates you for sure you hates me and then um you know but full to you want to hear something fun want to hear something fucking really fun they've never said publicly i'd love to i had sex with her daughter yo yes that's fucking awesome yes fuck that fucking sex with her daughter.

Yo. You're dead serious. I swear to God, dude, I had sex with the daughter like two months later. Oh my God. And you had to. Yeah. Yes.

Yes. Did you take any extra money? Like, no, it was funny, dude, because her daughter, you know,

she was, you know, she's cute and, you know, and I was just like, I was like, oh, you know,

like I left, you know, she's like, I know, my mom talks about, you know, what a dumb guy you are all the time. And I was like,

yeah, suck it. Yeah. Well, Oh God, that's not just a joke, though, right? No, no, God. It makes it so much better. Fuck, that's amazing.

Win. That's a huge W winning. Damn, I know that's got to feel good. Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, I did cheat on my current girlfriend at the time, so I lost that relationship. What can you do? And I got chlamydia. Nice.

So it all balances out. Hashtag balance. That's, yeah, that's good. No, that's really good. Yeah. I mean, you're learning lessons and, you know. Being in the Yang, team China. That's, yeah.

team China what do you enjoy doing the most now just making podcasts or doing obviously comedy stand up I do podcasting I got to be honest podcasting became when I first started doing podcasting it became a thing that I was just doing it like I loved it the art film being free I'm like oh man I can be funny and the audience isn't there there's like less pressure blah blah but then like anything else then the money becomes involved the ads that this and I was using as a place to sell tickets, which is the only thing I care about is are my ticket sold. For me, that's my barometer of success. That's what I want. I want to go to a venue and the place is sold out and we have a good time. All right, guys, quick and interrupt from one more sponsors, ShipStation. I've literally

myself with Roggear have used ShipStation for like the last 100 years. Shipstation is very, very easy as far as getting all of your packages sent on time and a timely manner. Everything's automated. They'll help and they'll grow with your business. Again, I've used it in the past. I highly recommend it. Right now, Shipstation. If you guys check it out, go to shipstation.com slash raw talk and you get a 60 day free trial for ship station i promise you if you guys have like growing a business you got a brand or like you're trying to you know whatever you're shipping whether it be like apparel stuff or parts or whatever you're doing on the internet they're going to make it easier for you to stay and to grow like where you need to be and it just makes all the processing just 10 times easier

so give them a shot again that shipstation dot com slash raw talk you get a 60 day free trial and make your life easier make your business run more efficiently let's get back into this podcast and And so I was doing that, but then, you know, doing, you know, then podcasting became so oversaturated. Then it, then it started to become like, you know, you got two podcasts, then you got three podcasts. And then there's hours of, you're talking for hours a week. And then I got to do my stand-up at night. And it's like, you know, some of the material that I would have formulated as a joke, I said half-baked on a podcast. And I can't say something on a podcast and then do it on stage because the fans are like, hey, I heard you say that already.

But, and so now I'm at a point where I'm like, Do I like podcasting? I know I love stand-up. I know that I want to do stand-up. But I always have. It's been what I'm doing for 15 years. But with podcastings, I'm like, am I at a point now where I'm just doing it for the money and I'm just doing it to sell tickets?

Am I motive? Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to talk hours a week about shit I kind of don't care about? Or do I want to just write my material and showcase my material each night in the way that I want to present it in 15-minute or hour increments? And then, you know, when the money come, the money will come from that. That's how I'll feed my family. But I'm in a tough spot right now because I've got my family used to a certain way of life.

You know, people listen to my show. That's where I do sell the tickets off. Yeah. But, you know, it's one of those things where it's like with podcasting, you know, as you know, it's like you got to create the content, you know, create the formula formulated. I mean, you know, we have great people edit and all that stuff. And they do things I can't do. But it's like come up with the stuff. It's mentally exhausting.

And for me as a stand-up, it's like a lot of times I'll say something like, you know, we'll be having a conversation. I'll say something that is funny or I think it's funny and it's already out there. And I'm like, I could have fucking did that on stage. Yeah. I could have did that on stage and I, and so I'm in that thing where, you know, for me, if you, if you were like what I would love to do, I really like love to just be on the radio in New York where it's like I'm home each, I'm just home every day. I just, there's all these producers and people. they show up they create the content they create the you know the fucking what questions we're going to ask and what games are going to play and i can just be funny and free in the moment and do my

stand-up at night or do a tv show even though i know it's not the same money or people don't watch it as much anymore i would rather just do that and be home in new york and not um you know have to like kind of think about like you know when i'm out here in l a it's like finding guests being on show doing this it's like really i just want to do my stand-up i really i just want to do my stand-up i really just want to go do the shows and and you know when I talk to my family when I talk to like you know my girl she's like you know Chris like you have like we have enough we we're living our life comfortably like as is like you don't have to keep you don't have to do shit you don't want to do anymore like we're good like the girls of my daughters they're like

we don't be good like we don't need to we don't need to live like luxuriously like we're good like we want you to be home more be home more because I do make enough doing my podcast and doing my stand-up but it's like there's like this thing or there's like no end to up like you're already on the train trying to catch everybody so you're like but sometimes you have to like consciously be like is this actually what i want to do because i never complain about stand-up stand-up i'm always like i'll keep going i love i love just being in the moment having fun you know but podcasting sometimes i'm like well i'm like me i'm like you know i'm like i'm doing a show now because you know hello fresh already bought out the ads i'm like i have to fucking show up here and do this all right so that

I'm paying attention to that now. I'm not ready to stop yet. I don't know if I will or maybe I'll try to find the motivation to do something a little different or whatever, but already, dude, I've been like, you know, used to be two hour shows, then it was an hour and a half. Now it's an hour. So then it'll do 40 minutes. And it's like, you know, the fans will sometimes get mad at me.

Be like, why aren't you giving me more content? And I get it. I get it. But there's also a part of me where it's like, I don't know that I want my whole life to be content. I don't know that I want you to know every fucking thought I have. Like I want to be selective with what. I tell you in my stand-up because the one thing I do know and this is a good advice from

Louis C.K. And this is when I really started thinking like he articulated what I feel. He was like the thing is Chris, you know, like when he, when Louis and those guys were stand-ups, he was like all our only medium was at night in 20-minute increments, hour increments, whatever our set length was. So we had all day to write and formulate our thoughts and come up with the best self-edited version of what we're going to say, right? So if we talked about our family, you know, the nearest and dearest. We talked about our family, it was in probably a protective way about a family member or a close friend about a situation.

Like we had thought we had kind of taken out the ugly parts. We had cut the fat and we had went out at night and done it. And even if we were in the testing phase of it, nobody was recording it. Nobody saw it, but us, right? in the audience and they would forget where so we would put a product out there by the time somebody saw it on television it had been edited run through the ringer like nobody's feelings were going to get hurt about this bit he was like where you will go on a podcast and tell a funny story about a family member or your children and it's not formulated the right way and you're

not realizing that there's going to be major repercussions for the people you're talking about not tomorrow it's going to surface because the internet's forever as a opposed to your stand-up when you formulated a joke for a year you told this story about even something precious like your daughter it's all it's it's it's it's in a great way everybody loves it your daughter would probably love it it's fine as opposed to just be like oh dude you know my daughter shit in the pool yesterday and then some fucking dumb-ass thing and he's like you're gonna your daughter's gonna face you when she's 16 and be like why am I getting made fun of in school for something you said in 2014 that's a reality you live in so he's like so I would cool it

with you know he's like all you kids he calls me a kid i'm 39 but you know he was like all you kids your group you all think you have to show the world everything all the time he's like you don't have to do that he's like as a matter of fact like don't you think it's better he was like wouldn't you want to be a bit more mysterious wouldn't you want to be a bit less accessible for your fans he was like i want he asked me he was like why don't you try to not be anywhere for a year don't post shit don't put out stuff just right just fucking right and then come out with some banging new hour and I guarantee you that year you'll catch up you'll catch you'll he was like look it used to be you guys make you know like you comics now you know you'll you'll get on the road

you know you start to make money you're selling ads whatever he's like my generation like yeah I wouldn't make the money every week like you are because of the podcast ads he's like but you know I'd sell my special in Netflix for 15 million dollars I'd sell my show for so I make the money I'm just and I and I'm making it in a yes one big lump sum that'll get me through life but it's like and it's all edited and exactly what I wanted to say and exactly what I wanted to do I wasn't being fast with it I was being slow with it who was like you guys everything is fast get it out get it out he's like I'm telling you I promise you I've been around for 35 years this you are all going to regret this I'm telling I know it for he was like I know it

like I know every cell in my body he was like you are going to fucking all you guys are going to regret the bullshit you're putting out just standups he's talking about So you should be extremely careful with what you want to do. And I was like, wow, I've actually, again, I couldn't articulate it. But I was like, that's what I've been feeling. Like even when I put out my crowdware clips or even when I put out some podcasts, I'm like, what the fuck am I saying? Like what am I saying to these? I don't even know what I'm saying.

I sound like an idiot where my stand up, sometimes, yes, I hate it when I look back at it because I'm like, that joke could have been better. But at least it was like practiced a hundred times before I put it on Netflix or Comedy Central or whatever. So I think about that with podcast where I'm like, is this the media, this is the medium of the day right now and is it like what, you know, am I going to be proud of this? And that's what Louie keeps, he told me in the podcast many times like, you got to think, are you going to be proud of this? Or your daughter's going to be proud of this. Are you, you have a family. Are you guys going to be proud of this? You have, that's what I want you to think about. And he said, maybe some podcast episodes, you will. But remember, it's all forever. So and you guys are not like even and I don't do this now. But when Instagram first came out, when I didn't think anybody was. was watching. Even when I got after Guy Code and Girl Code, when I still had, you know, call it 50,000 followers so significant amount of people, I was posting pictures of my kids, my dog, only one daughter at the time, to fucking strangers thinking this is good. Look at how cute what she did because you're like sucked into the thing. Like look at me. Look at my narcissism. Look at me. I'm

displaying my my fucking daughter, the most precious person in my life. And I'm like, she didn't agree to that. She's a child. It's like child abuse almost where now I'm like, I would never post my kids publicly. I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that. It's not right. That's their decision. I'm like, you know, it's like a picture album that you have at home. If I show that to the whole world, a complete, 100% complete strangers, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? And Instagram owns it too. Yeah, dude. I'm like, what am I doing? So, so, so, so, so, you know, and listen, sometimes I beat myself up about that. Sometimes I'm like, we're all going to have regrets. So if you just learn it now and do what you can now, that's what I try to do. And,

You know, sometimes I fuck up and I forget these rules. But for the most part, I'm constantly thinking about, you know, how much of my life do I want to share? You know, what do I? Because money is like, you know, you make enough. You can always have enough money, dude. Somebody's fucking, you can always, it's not about having a million dollars. Like, you can adjust your life to have enough money when people are like, oh, it's easy for you to say, you're making a lot of money doing comedy.

I'm not fucking making money. I work for Amazon. I don't make money. It's like, yeah, well, you make enough money, dude. you just want a life that you're not working you just want a life that's a little up you you you want to live in a million dollar mansion on the beach yeah you can't work for amazon but if you if you can trade if you can change your barometer if you can change your goalpost and say you know what I can be happy in a studio apartment because I have the people that I love around me and I can

you know drive to the beach then you can be happy you're not fucking mad at me you're mad at yourself because you're you have your whole goals fucked up like so for me I'm like I'm very aware that if I stopped doing a podcast, if I took Louis advice, I wouldn't get the mansion in Santa Monica or, you know, Tribeca, wherever. But I don't need that. I realize like I don't need that. I have my kids. I have my life. When did that start to change you just because you had a conversation with Louie? It started to change me when I had my second daughter. When I had my second child and I was starting to think like, you know, man, when I started to equate money and time, actually time being way more valuable than money to me, I started to think about like, and I started

to ask some of the older comics, you know, about any regrets they had. It was the same regret from the guys from the top to my level to even, to even below me. It was the same regret. They're all like, I wish I had spent more time with my kids when they were little. I wish I spent more time with my kids. Louis included. I wish my, I wish I spent more time with my kids when they were little, man. So I'm like, okay, so I don't want to make that mistake, dude.

I want to spend times with my kids when they're little. Because I'm like, I don't want to. What is this worth? What is this worth? Okay, yeah, I go, I go on a fucking. you know 25 city world tour I make $10 million but I missed every event in my kid's life who gives a fuck

you know so so and I think and listen if you're a person who you think opposite that's fine too I'm not judging anybody it's just how I think I'm like you know and my girl my Jasmine mother my kids my girlfriend she'll always be like you know Chris like you always say like oh you just want to be able

to have a show in New York and you don't want to have to be forced to leave she's like you have that already like you do your podcast from 20 minutes away from our house like you're choosing to go on the road and do all this because you think we need all these things like we don't need these where we need you we don't need do whatever you want who cares so i'm like true with that being said please listen to my podcast um i love it i was like love where this is going i have you know i'm radio city sold out theater at madison square garden we have some tickets available

christie comedy dot com i do all the irs a lot of money i have kansas city is not selling well we got to get more money to ukraine yeah we got to send more money to ukraine but yes things are not going well in certain markets, other markets. They are. Christycom, please, for the love of fucking Christ, listen to my podcast. My patron is dying.

Shut up. That was perfect. Full circle, man. I appreciate you coming. Thank you, bro. I got to come out to New York. I'll visit you. But yeah, thank you for coming on.

I like you, man. And I have no idea what race you are. You could be black, Puerto Rican, white. Nice. Gay, a lady. I have no idea. A bear. A bear.

Definitely a bear. I have no idea. A big Armenian. I don't know. Subscribe to the channel. Post notifications. all the good stuff drop a comment who you guys want to see next thank you so much we're out of here uh that's it yeah you crushed that