RAWTALK - DATING NIKKI BLACKKETTER

Episode Date: August 19, 2018

So i got to sit down with Nikki Blackketter and talk very candidly relationships, dating, social media, Fortnite, and just all around life. give it a listen!!

Is that on that song? Yeah. No, I just, I never, I never put it out there. Because I knew. How did you know? I just knew. You're like, oh, no. I'm psychic.

I just like saw the outcome of it. No, you've just never been in love, Fredley. That's not true. Because you go, Google eyes, and you're like, no, we're going to love each other forever. And then you put it on and then, you're like, well. That's what I do. No, that is what I did, basically. Like an idiot.

Can we cuss on this? Of course. You can do whatever you want, yeah. I'm already monitoring. The company has ever sent you shit? Mm-hmm. Not headphones. Not headphones.

They send me these. You're supposed to be like the Sony ones? The noise cancelling? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I had the last flight that I took, literally. They canceled my flight home from London, and I had to get in the back seat next to these two screaming babies the entire time.

And the only thing to save me is noise-canceling headphones. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was the worst moment of my life. How do you edit a lot? How do you, if you saw that, is that how you pronounce that? Edifer. Edifer.

Edifer. Edifer. Edifier. Edifier. Well, it's an I-E-R, it's not F-E-R. Well, is it like European? I don't know. I Google it.

You could Google this. W-860 N-B. This is the product type here. Hold on a second. N-B, like me. Oh, I knew you're going to be here. Insepti. Inception.

These are noise cancel. Yeah. I always bring these when I go on the planes. Yeah. Hold on. So, okay, you asked me about, like, my relationships. I knew never to put it on.

Well, you're the one that was like... I'm a psychic. Oh, yeah. Everyone knows. Don't put your relationship out there. And I'm like, how do you know? Bradley's never been in a relationship. That's a...

Bradley's a version. Bradley is a... He doesn't know how to interact with women, obviously, as we've learned from these podcasts. It's kind of true. Yeah. No, I just... I guess because, like, when I was going into the internet, like, I think initially I hated taking photos of myself or, like, pictures, like, straight up when I first started the internet, I dated a girl. What did you take pictures of when you first started the internet?

Okay, exactly. So, but this is my point. So I was dating a girl. I was like, like, Bradley, the flip phone. Just like. Like a, like a razor? Don't look at me. Like a razor?

Just taking, like, scenic photos? Yeah. Like, none of myself. Just blurry sunset photos. Just pictures of, like, fucking random wall insertion. of like corners and stuff no so I dated a girl and I remember like she would love taking photos

and I was like I hate taking photos so I would avoid the selfie at all cost was it those Polaroid like developer came I'm not that damn old what the fuck Bradley's like eight months older than me no no so it was just like it was like one of the first iPhones and then social media came and I think because

I don't know I just I think because I looked at like Hollywood and stuff before And I was like, these people, it's like constant drama with like if someone put the relationship. So I was like, yeah, I was like, I didn't want to deal with that. And you always kind of know like certain things like you don't talk about in the air like politics and shit like that. Politics, religion and relationships. Yeah, because people are so like they choose sides, choose sides super hard.

Because like someone could like like the other person and then they want to judge you based on what the other person said. Even though like it's silly because like it's a, especially in a relationship, it's so. personal. Yeah. Like, and there's so many reasons why someone or something doesn't work, but it's like, but people from the outside looking, they're just like, oh, that person said, yeah, that person said this, so you're a bad, but it's like, no, like, there's so much more to that person's life that got them to that point to, like, even have that perception

of, like, their relationship with you. And someone on the outside is just like, oh, that person said you're a bad person, so you're a bad person, because he said it. It's like, what the fuck? There's so much more to it. So I was always afraid of, like, putting stuff out there because I just didn't want to be like, oh, that. we broke up and then like they knew that that was my girl and then it's like oh he must be a bad

guy because and then she wrote these you know like people write stupid tweets were like oh you never love me anyways it's like yeah and it's like exactly song quotes and then you're just like fuck and it's like oh i know that's about brad and they want to like retweet him like brad's a shitty guy it's like fuck it just didn't work out because like i'm surprised because i feel like you're so into like clickbait and stuff that you haven't like utilized a relationship or a fake relationship or anything like oh god I feel like that's what everyone else does, so I'm like. Yeah, that's literally whatever. I mean, that's what the internet is now.

It's all clickbait. It's like, how do you survive now? Because three years ago, wasn't it different? Oh, no, 100%. It was way different. All my, like, yeah, just fitness videos did well. It was just like content. It was like people wanted to know, it seemed like more about the thing that you were doing.

And now it's like, I want to know about your life and everything. Do you think it's because of the internet, like the way that they've changed the way it works? Whereas just because the whole vibe of the internet is more towards like, I don't know what we... I think it's the audience has changed of YouTube. It's become like a reality. It's like they want more of that reality, but they want the drama.

Yeah, yeah. It's why like, I don't know, I know UK people are super obsessed with that Love Island show. What the fuck is that? Sorry, everyone in the UK, I'm sorry. No, everyone in the UK is fucking obsessed. It's just like they throw a bunch of people

like 10 guys and 10 girls or something and then they have to like choose who they couple up with and then like the couple that stays together by the end of the show. like wins literally it's really fucking weird and they take them out of no they have no social media they have no contact the outside world or anything

so it's like for like two months or something I think but they were in a relationship prior to getting on the show no no no they're like 10 single guys 10 single girls and then they have to match with each other so like if they don't get along with the person they end up picking or whatever I haven't actually watched the show like no of it so I'm just guessing here but um no I've seen shows where people get married yeah yeah like but is that real though

like no but I saw there was a show it was like they're gonna find each other like that day like are that and then get married like how the fuck is that even a I think they just did it for money and they're just like well find something where they can't get divorced for like a year or what like whatever that's crazy I don't know so I don't know

I just I don't know I always tried to I saw it coming like the because of like the whole TMZ stuff all the stuff on the internet celebrity drama and I was just always kind of like I don't want some opinion even though I ran into this anyways on the internet just based on business relationships that I got into I ran into, like, judgment from people who had no idea about actual situation, but, like, I just had to be like, okay, well, that person said it, so I'm just fucked.

It's just weird because from my perspective, like, I'm such an emotional person that would be really hard to even hide that much, that part of my life from, like, social media. If I share it, like, because I've logged daily life stuff as well. I guess most of your stuff is, like, in the gym. It was, yeah. Now it's a little different. So at the time, like, when I first started, it was more just, like, I'm going to show this portion of my life. It wasn't so much like, hey, I'm going to go do this vlog thing. Because I remember trying to vlog with the camera like that,

and I would just feel awkward trying to like vlog myself. So I just kind of just kept it like me doing something. Yeah, yeah. More fitness related. But now it's starting to be different where it's like more like go do things. Yeah, I think people prefer that now. Whereas before I feel like it was much easier just to like straight fitness content. I didn't have to put that much like life stuff into it.

So now it's like they want more. It's like they want more of you. I think I feel that too. But then more of you comes with like the biggest piece. But only more of you if there's drama. Yeah. Otherwise you're like,

not that interesting. You're not even doing anything. So who are you going to box? That's the question. Okay. Yeah. You see this shit on the internet though, right? I'll play someone on Fortnite and that's what I can do.

But I do see that stuff on the internet. But are you actually good at Fortnite though? I am what's like an in-between? In-between? I'm like, you know how when you pick a mode on a video game? You're a try-hard. You're a try-hard.

You're a try-hard. Normal or advanced. I'm like normal. That means you're a try hard. What does that mean? It means like you try it really hard. Bradley salty because I play on a PC and he plays on Xbox. Yes.

You try really hard. So I know how to build. Relax. I just use, I use Builder Pro by the way. On PS4, yeah. Oh, good for you. Oh, you play on PS4.

You don't play on Xbox. I play on both, though. And I've played on PC too. I just, I'm not going to lie. Listen, I want to learn how to play on the PC, but I'm a little bit, I get butt hurt when I start playing at first

because I'm not used to it and they're so much better on PC. You know what I tried the other day? Just to be annoying. I have a switch and I have 4-9 on my switch. So I have like a second Fortnite. No. So I put my second profile,

Fortnite4 profile on the Switch. And then I joined with that. So I was just playing other Switch people on my PC. You know what I mean? You're such a triad. And they just run around and kill six year olds all time. Yeah. Except you see other people that you know are also doing the same thing.

Oh yeah. It's so annoying. It's the worst. And then you find people get on, get on that. Because I played on Switch before, but like they use a controller or a mouse. because you can connect that shit. Oh, can you?

Yeah, and you can connect a controller, a mouse, and a keyboard, to a PlayStation as well. I was about to buy that just so I could, yeah. Oh, that's smart. Tactical. Maybe that's what they're doing, because sometimes I'll be running through and playing Switch people,

and then they'll be so easy to kill. And then that some will be really good. And the one person, I'm just like, you're definitely on a PC. Yeah, you can, like, Bluetooth it, like a keyboard and stuff. Yeah, little cheaters. Or, like, they have their little, like,

are they secretly already doing this. That's why he knows. Yeah, that's why he knows. For sure. It's not cheating. It's just called trying hard, like you. You're a tryout. You just explained it. You fucking logged it with two accounts so that you could... No, that's because I'm bad. So I was like, oh, I'll just try this to see. So you do play often, though? Yeah. If I'm home, but I travel so much, it's like...

You do play out. I remember I'd be out and you'll be on. Yeah. And I'm on a lot. Yeah. You don't have to tell them that. Oh, sorry, yeah, yeah. We just cut that out. I'm really productive all the time. No, we'll cut that out for sure. But I'm still productive when I play, like in between load screens, I'm working.

Yeah, yeah. Like making stuff happen. Yeah, why don't you stream more? Okay, so this is why I stop streaming and I don't stream more. My girlfriend kept popping up in the background. I told her, no, you can't be it in my street. No, it was because honestly, like, with working out, because working out became such a, it's like I have to do both and it's like for business and for myself.

I was like, damn, I don't want to do this to streaming yet. Like, take away the fun thing that you have. Yeah. Yeah, I think of that sometimes too Because I didn't have as much time Because I'm a lot more busy than I have been Lately and like I don't want the only time That I have to play video games

That has to be a work Because sometimes I just want to just like Just fucking zone out Right, right, right, for sure No, I feel that way as well Because a lot of times people that I stream for Will be like, I can see that you're on Like why aren't you streaming?

And I'm like, I just want to play sometimes Yeah, it's like I just want to be a vegetable By myself sometimes Okay, question Yeah, go ahead So Ninja, it's like the biggest four-night player in the world Right? He just made a comment that got a lot of backfire

Where he said, he was like, I don't play with girl streamers because I don't want to cause any, what is it, conflict in my relationship because he's married or whatever. Yeah. So how do you feel about that? This is interesting. I'm so glad you asked me this question. It's so relevant, too.

Damn. Because I was like, from my perspective, my like initial instinctual response was like, I'll totally feel you. Like, because I know how the internet is. Yeah. I'm just like, they are because I was just thinking of like you, even if you post a video with like me or Samurai

or whoever everyone underneath it's just like oh they're banging yeah like no matter what it can be like no tension no even talking whatsoever going on and they're just like yeah yeah Bradley's definitely smashing you know 100% so I see where it just coming from but then he got so much backlash for being like a sexist I guess yeah and I you know what it's sad because I think like he I don't know why he did that article because he did it for yeah like newsweek some some some online thing and it's like it sucks because they painted it in a way because the thing that gets more views is drama so you're gonna course you're gonna

paint his comment in a way that makes it look like, oh, we got some controversial shit from Ninja so we can get a bunch of views on our fucking website. Exactly. Like, so that's the thing that's annoying because I see shit like that and I'm like, the dude is married and obviously like, because I could look at him like, oh, he just doesn't want to fucking deal with like his wife being like, why the fuck he's streaming with her? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I respect the shit out of that. Yeah, because I also think like not even, because that makes her sound like she's insecure

and I doubt she is, but I think it's more like the internet is the ones that are saying that, like. Yeah, so I think like, I think he could have, if he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, could have addressed it, I don't know, a little differently, I guess. But I don't think he was aware that, like, that was going to be the title of the video. I think it was, like, an offhand comment, and they talked about something else. And they blew it up. But that's the, like, that's literally the point of, like, and then when he tried to explain

to me, well, that's the point of the problem is the problem is that, like, people blow shit up out of proportion, and then it's like, like, I dealt with shit in my career where, like, someone basically said something about me that wasn't true, and it didn't matter, whether or not it was true or not, like, it literally didn't matter. Even though I'm like, from my perspective, this is completely false. The internet just goes, well, someone else said it so it's true. Yeah. So it's like, I know from that personal experience that if he's like streaming with a girl and then someone's like so and then like maybe there was one word that he said.

Like I know because I know he's dealt with other shit where like someone will take something he said out of context because he says it live in a stream and then he just cut that. Yeah, yeah. And then all you hear is like that sound bite. Like there was a sound bite with Drake where it was like he someone was asking him I think about like, like did Drake help him like in his thing or whatever? Is he going to buy something from Drake or something? He was like, no, like, is Drake going to buy this from me? And then he said something about, like, he thinks Drake something, like, just wanted to, like, stream with him so that he can, like, get more viewers.

And, like, Drake doesn't need that. But then I think he said something else that was cut off. So it just made him look like a dickhead who was just like, well, Drake just used me. But, like, he said more. Yeah, yeah. So the internet just, like, they take what they want. They run with it for their views in this direction or that direction. Whatever, like, suits their narrative.

Yeah, like we were saying earlier. So it's shitty because I think he's just, he's someone who's so popular and so famous right now. blew up so quickly that like any news outlet or think they can get more views or more clicks they're going to like spin any drama they can so and that's exactly the point of what he's trying to avoid and he found himself in the same situation while trying to avoid it I feel bad too because I feel like he's actually like he seems like a nice guy yeah he doesn't seem like a huge right someone who's online that often would have more slip-ups if he's actually like a bad person yeah because he's streaming like every single day eight or 12 hours a day or something

ridiculous yeah he's fucking killing him by the way shot the ninja yeah no seriously so I just think a city because like I get I completely get where he's coming from but everyone's like you know the other side even from a female perspective like just because I've been through relationships on the internet too I'm like no totally understand like I wouldn't like really want my significant other either just because it does stir rumors it makes like just random shit happen and everyone would do that too they just no matter what like even if there's no flirting or anything going on they're just going like nope I saw this and he had this look on his face when that happened and then you're just like what yeah and so-and-so says it and it's just like what the what's that game where it just keeps like

turn it into something else that telephone right telephone phone just like next you know it's like he did something really horrendous like what you're like none of this actually happened but it's like it's the internet just lives and it just keeps change it's that's what we're talking about like that's what the most popular thing in the internet now is fucking drama yeah it's like it's so frustrating honestly fuck like I'm even so I'm even do it like on my YouTube channel like it bothers so I'm gonna I want to share some with you guys listening right now it bothers me because like I've been posting fitness content forever right and I'll post like the best and at the end of day I'm not I'm not bothered to the point

where I'm like, fuck you guys, I just want to, like, point this out. I can post, like, the best, like, motivational life stuff where I talk about something that's super sincere and it's, like, probably, it's like, it's from my heart and it could probably help somebody, right? And it won't have a great title or, you know, won't have some clickbait title, won't have, like, a clickbait thumbnail, and it won't get many views. And then, like, I see, I was like, oh, okay, all this boxing stuff is going on. I'll be like, oh, I know Logan, I'll tell them, I'll tell him, like, punch me in the face,

I'll put it on YouTube. Yeah. Fucking five million views in, like, two days. Right. Right. And then I have my fans from, from, you know, years ago, they're like, oh, man, you're just posting this stuff now. Like, you don't post that anymore. And it's like, I'm still doing it. It's just, like, not out right now.

Like, it's not, like, I'm still going to post videos. But it bothers me because, like, they'll say this. And I'm thinking, like, where were you when I posted that fucking video? They got 70,000. It's like you didn't click on that one. You know, but you clicked on the drama one to tell me that I'm not doing that one. Like, what, it's like, I'm still doing it. You just didn't look down last week.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you just saw this one. You're like, you're not doing it anymore. So it's like, it's, I first... And it's never happy, though. Oh, God, I know. I saw something I was on some gossip account that someone, like, DM'd me or something. But it was like, this girl was literally, it was like a few months ago or something

when I had, like, I don't know, more body fat or something. She's like, oh, Nick's lost motivation. She's not in the gym. She sucks, blah, blah. And then another picture were, like, of me now. And then she's like, I liked Nikki better when she had more weight on her. Like, now she's just... I'm just like, how can the same person have the exact opposite opinion two months before?

I'm like, what do you want from me? Like, you're too fat, you're too skinny, or you're too slutty, or you're too modest, or you're just like, I'm like, what? Like, no other way. So how do you win, then? And I've learned how you win. You just, it's hard because, like, I think as a creator, and I know you can understand this too, is like, you want everyone to like, like, like you. Kind of, right? You want everyone to appreciate you and you want to make everyone happy in a sense.

But it's like, you still have to be like, I got to be happy. And you got to focus on just, like, trying to do what you think. Because, like, I always try and go default back to it. And I think about it, I'm like, well, I didn't get here, like, when I was. wasn't popular knowing who the fuck I was I didn't get here talking to people who didn't know who I was me like yo am I doing this right yeah yeah I was just doing myself and then all of a sudden they were like oh that shit's cool or that guy's cool I like what he said I like what he did so it's like I got to remember sometimes like how I got here wasn't by trying to make everyone

happy yeah yeah it's hard though because like once you get in the like the limelight or whatever and people are like talking about you it sucks to see comments that are like you'll fuck this but it's it's like I just you have to live like you were day one because that's how you ended up here that's how you ended up here yeah doing what you did what made you happy and that's why like ultimately like the people who really love you no matter what bullshit is said or isn't said or like how stories are twisted like if they if you say true to who you are then like they'll always be there yeah and i can say like i dealt with that shit hard like where people were just turned on me and i'm like well what the fuck yeah yeah but i continue to be myself and i think over time

they're just like oh that's who it is and then like full circle came back people kind of you know apologize and this and that yeah exactly and then it's like oh it's like you know okay sorry like I got messages people like hey man I thought you were dickhead but like oh I guess you were sorry sorry I sent you those messages like yeah and I'm talking like like people who know like mean yeah I know I feel like I'm seen the same thread where it would be like you're a fucking piece of shit all this stuff and then like you know like seven months later be like hey man I'm really sorry like I think you know I was wrong and I didn't really know I apologize thanks for that video and it's

like I'm not mad but it's like I see it from so like I get it from both sides and I see it So I'm just kind of like, I just got to remember, like, how I started it. Yeah, yeah. I got to maintain that. But it's hard when you see, like, people, like, try and fucking tear you apart. Because you're a human. No, exactly. I think people see you as, like, you're just like a fucking.

This object. But you're a person. Just like fucking them. So. Yeah. I always think that. I'm just like, what? Like, when I see some comments, I'm just like, who would ever think that thought and

then go out of their way to write it down and then say it to that person. They don't know. I don't know. Just the thought process there. It just blows my mind. Yeah. Like, everyone has those thoughts, whatever, where you're just like, oh, I think this would be better on you. But, like, yeah, you feel like the need to fucking shit on someone.

Why? But, I don't know. I don't know. I think it's a new. It's almost like a, maybe it's like a new type of therapy for people. Right. They're just like venting their own emotions. I can say, fuck you, you piece of shit.

It's like, okay. I always think that, like, people's comments are like a reflection of themselves. So I'm just like. Well, it is, though. And I always say, like, and I try to tell people, like, even people listening, if you have, like, hate in your heart and you're, trying to tell someone else about something that you think they should be or shouldn't be or like that is coming from you like you know like fuck you piece of shit it's like that's that that thought had to live in my head before i said it to you and it might not even affect

you some people probably won't even affect but like that negativity of that is coming from inside your head your body right it's living inside of you and it's like it just doesn't make sense like really like real shit perspective imagine you didn't like somebody right but you stop talking to that person but every time every time uh someone else came up and talked about that person you were like and i and i'm a i do this sometimes too and i got to stop but like it's a person and i'm like oh yeah you know fuck that person but like that person has no more effect in your life anymore right right that negativity that you're still holding on for that person or like that thought that you want to tell that someone else like oh yeah that person fuck that person it's

like you're you're it's inside of you yeah you need to be like okay why the fuck am i still holding on to this or the people out there commenting negative shit is like what are you getting out of doing that? I actually, like, I feel this all the time because a lot of times people will come up to me and they'll, like, mention my ex-ex boyfriend. And I'll just be like, it's such a thought that's not even in my brain anymore.

Like, they'll say something mean about him, like try to, I don't know, like, relate to me or something. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, but I don't have that. Like, I don't have that response anymore. I'm not like, oh, fuck him. I'm like, I don't really care. Like, I'm like, cool.

I don't know. So I just think that's weird lately because I'm like, I don't want to be like, I don't really care, dude, and be mean to the person that's trying to get on my side, you know what I mean? But I'm also like, I don't really care anyone. Steve, is this here?

What? It's good? My bad. Okay, listen. Okay, so here's the question then. No, I don't want to talk. How do I ask this, but not talk about that? How do I ask you about asking it?

No, okay. Okay, then it's about dating then. So what does it like to date you, do you think? IRL in real life. It's like sunshine and rainbows and like, No, real shit. I feel like in the beginning of my dating, I like... In the beginning of any time you start a relationship, is what you're saying?

Like talking to someone, right? Just like met someone, sort of think they're cute, whatever, we're texting. Like, I think I play hard to get so hard that I, like, miss my chance with every single relationship because I'm just like, oh, and I'll, like, not text them back or something. And then it'll be, like, three weeks later, and I'm like, oh, shit. I remember that we talked about this last time kind of where you're just kind of like, you like you want something but then you're like you want them to figure out what you want but like not exactly I'm like I don't know what I want so if they don't read my mind then it's like

and then if they text me too much I'm like oh this guy's desperate and then if they don't text me enough then I'm like then it just fades away and I never talk to them again so I'm like I'm never gonna date so what do you do then like when they when they first start a date what are what do you think like what's from your perspective what do you think it's like date me. To date, Nikki. Probably really annoying. I don't know.

I mean, I always think I'm like, it's sunshine and rainbows in the beginning, obviously. It's like, oh, let's hang out, it's do a cool thing. I remember, like, in the beginning of Miles and I was relationship, we like snuck a thing of vodka into a movie theater. And he thought I was like the coolest person in the world because I wanted to do that. I was like, no, I just got a big ass purse. I was like, what are you talking about? I had snacks, vodka, everything. What movie was it?

Because I'm like, what movie would you watch with vodka and, like, snacks? It was a scary movie. Okay, okay, that's fair. Like, yeah, I'm obsessed. But then I feel like you get to that point in relationship where you're comfortable. And this happens in every fucking relationship. Every one, yeah. And then it's just like Netflix and chill every day.

And then I get bored because I'm like. So, okay, this is really important then. So then, okay, if that, then you get bored and then you start to, like, disinterest? You start to have disinterest? Because you're like bored. I think you just get complacent. And then it's just like, it's not. fun anymore.

How do you keep it fun then? Like if someone was dating you? You don't. I'm never getting married. Literally. I have decided I'm like, I'm never getting married. I'm never having kids. No, no, no, no.

No way. No way. But yeah, honestly, I don't. I don't know. I think that's a struggle I'd like to figure out. Yeah. Damn. What do you think, Bradley?

Have you ever been in a really hot? Yeah, no, I have. I'm just kidding. I'm for sure have. Yeah, on and off relationship. Yeah, those are the best. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, the hardest thing about relationships is just, is the whole...

But see, that's why I feel like, like, girls especially do this thing where they, like, pick fights and stuff. Because it's fun to, like, get into a fight, like, blow up and then make up afterwards. Because the only thing that makes it interesting after, like, Netflix and chilling for a month at a time. God, I wish that wasn't true. I know. It's so annoying. And then you're like, oh, well, like, after you blow up on each other, and then you get a makeup afterwards, like, oh, it's like a little, like, spark or something is late for a minute. but it's like and that's why on and off again relationships are so fun because you have your off point and then when you get back to there like sunshine and rainbows for like two months and then you're like oh no

I forgot I hate you I don't know yeah and so it's crazy it's like how do you how do you keep it how do you keep it fun so you don't have to force the like force that like it's fucked up because literally like three minutes ago we were talking about like fuck the internet's so into drama and people are so into drama but like literally within your own life you're saying that's the same thing and that's the same thing for a lot of people was like you look for that shit like for for a spark for uh so that's like how do you spark just interest it's just because otherwise and that's exactly what we fucking hit in the it's so fucking the world it's so bad humans are fucked up what is going on hypocritical it's like what it makes it's like we don't want it to happen but we want

that shit to happen in our lives but not your lives I just don't you know about it oh my god no so I don't know I think relationships like um for for me what I've learned is like it's hard because obviously everyone comes from a whole different place like of like upbringing life and like their childhood and how they experience like relationships and then you get to a point where like you know you people want certain things and like it doesn't always sink at the same time and that's kind of been my issues is like I'm still like learning a bunch of stuff and just at a different pace and someone else is learning a bunch of stuff and it's kind of like then you collide because you both want certain things and maybe at a certain time or at a for like as a

certain way or in a certain way yeah the other person wants it in another way and it's just kind of like you kind of like want the same shit because you like you have love you love the person and you're love with the person. But it's like, it doesn't, it's like, it just keeps doing this. Exactly. And you're like, fuck, why can't we just meet? And it's so it's just like, I don't know. I've had a hard time with it too, definitely.

I don't know. And I'm like, I always wonder if it's just, like, is it you dating the wrong person or is it like your personality is not clashing? Or is it just like you're not working hard enough in the relationship. See, I literally think it's like, if you really love somebody, like I really think this. I think that you could make it work, but it's all on the timing. And it's like, it's not only just the timing, but it's the most important thing of it is

the communicating. And like, it's hard because, like I said, let's say at you, you're 25 or however old you are, someone's 26 or 30, you're at a point in your life and you know a certain amount and you've experienced a certain amount. So you have a certain perspective on your life and your relationship with other people. Yeah. And someone else is, you know, let's say they're 30 or 26 or 24 and they know a certain amount or 19, whatever, and they have a certain amount of experience, life experience, and

like existing issues and things that made them who they are. Yeah. So there's another person. So then you get to a point where you're like, oh, but we really love each other. But like those things, you haven't figured it out in a way that like makes sense for you to make sense with someone else yet on a certain level. Because they, this is why it's fucking complicated. That's why it's so hard to fucking figure it out.

It's just because of timing. But I think if you truly love somebody and they truly love you back, I think then it comes to like communicating like something. The hardest thing is sometimes it's just not supposed to work out right now. Yeah. And maybe it's just a later down the road thing. But that's so hard because, you know, guys or girls, people have ego and they're like, well, I don't want my girlfriend, you know, the person that I love fucking someone else or something, whatever.

And it's like, and it's jealousy that keeps you together half the time. Exactly. You're like, well, I don't want this to go over there because, like, I love that. But like, but then you're not sinking up here. And so it's crazy. But I think, like, I really do believe you really love somebody. Like, I do believe in love. And I think that, like, the hardest, but true love is really the kind of love where you can, like, let someone go or do it.

what they need to do while you do what you need to do so that you can come to some point in your life or like you're actually both closer to this even level instead of like, I need these things, you need those things and we just, it's like a fucking opposite magnet. Right, so. My issue is like I think, if I think of myself at 22 years old and then myself right now,

like those are two completely different people. Absolutely. It's literally not the same person. So if you're dating someone for those six years, for example, and they are also two completely different people, Like, maybe those two people from 22 matched, but, like, they don't match anymore at 28. You know what I mean?

That's what I'm saying, it's timing. Yeah. So it's, like, regardless of the timing that was perfect then, like, you can't control whether it's going to be perfect in six years, which is where my problem with marriage lies, because I'm just like, I feel like that's why no one stays together anymore because they just do evolve and change and become different people, and then those people that they became don't match anymore.

Yeah. And this is my point about communicating, is that, like, at the core of it, I think if you truly love somebody and you have real love for a person, like genuine love that like let's say like like love like if I if I was in love with you where the love where like if you needed to do something for you like if it was not being a relationship with me still like we were in a relationship and then we weren't like I would have enough love that like I would want the same thing for you like you have to have real like

selfless love but that's damn near impossible to have it nowadays it seems like but I think if you have that then it can work it's just like you've got to be able to communicate because the thing is like you're saying like two different people let's say they're 24 both 24 and they're perfect matches. And then five years go by and they experience these two different roads of life. And then they're kind of like different

and they don't match but they really loved each other and they still really love each other. The question is like where they are now currently can they have enough like of open communication without trying to like hold their egos

like I don't want you to do this because of this or like is your love for someone dependent on like your own ego? No like your own ego like is dependent on your ego is dependent on your love for someone. And that's the question. I don't think people dig or, I mean, I can't even say that I've figured this out because I fucking haven't.

But I think if you really love somebody, I think you could have, if you have enough communication that you can make it work at the right time. It just might not be at that right time. And that's the hardest thing because then people, you know. Well, do you think those people would, do you think people should just go on breaks and then come back together or like and see if they make their way back to each other then? Would that be your solution to that? Yeah, I would say, like, I don't know if I'd call it break. It's just like, hey, this shit's not working. Bradley on and off again relationship, Martin.

I know. I know. You're like, no, I support this. I support this. No. But I don't know. I think it's just all timing. I think it's just talking and communicating.

Like, because I think if someone could then go and experience other things, and I'm not necessarily talking about like other people and shit like this. Like, but at the end of the day, like, listen, I believe if you truly love somebody, I'm not saying you're going to go let your wife or someone go sleep with other people and this and that. Like, I'm still like, if you're married, like, I think that's fucking wrong. I wouldn't want that.

But like, if you love somebody and they're like, and you could. obviously understand that, hey, this shit's not working right now. Like, we need to go, like, go on our own past because it's, like, our own self-fulfillment so that we could be happy with who we are by ourselves no matter what. Then, then if you have two people who can feel that, then they can be together. Because, like, if someone is, like, if your happiness is dependent on, like, your relationship with me and not dependent on yourself, like, your own happiness by yourself, and my own happiness by myself, it's never going to work.

It's always because it's going to feel like a fucking teeter-totter, like, you want more, I want more. Exactly, yeah. And, I mean, that can work for people if there's a good enough communication. But sometimes, a lot of times there's just not enough. And it's just like, I feel like you want or need more things for me than I want or need from you. And then there's this whole like disruption of like, because then at some point that'll go on when you'd be like, well, now I want shit. And then like, well, fuck what you want. Like it's just hard.

Yeah. I feel like it's impossible. It's a human thing, right? We're just all like emotional, like egotistical, like creatures that want shit for. ourselves but then you love someone and you want things for them too but then you then you're like more about myself and yeah i don't know there's no there's definitely no like fucking answer to yeah there's no this is the way to do it's like no way and i definitely i'm not sitting here saying i figured this shit out but i just think the most important things in it is being able to communicate

with someone and understand that someone else i used to think that too okay and here's my issue with that it's just like you can communicate with someone and be so open and be like this is exactly what i need like you're doing this and it drives me crazy like if you could just adjust and like do this instead you know what I mean for example one thing that just annoys the crap out of me that someone was what is it what is that one thing it's just like he'll always say like oh okay I'll be there in 30 minutes and then it'll be like four hours later oh my I'm like I don't care if you're there in 30 minutes or not I don't care I just want you to tell me like a realistic time frame or just be like I don't know it could take long it could like

drives me so don't so don't say a time unless you know the for sure time well at least like sort of but it's it's just such a vast difference from what he says and what he means 30 minutes to two hours no like four hours not even too that's like the next day bad literally I'm just like is it because is it because you planned like your situation around that time then well yeah like even just mentally even if we're not like literally even doing anything if they're just coming over to hang out and I'm just like but still like I'm putting away everything else that I could do during that time because I'm expecting you to be there and and then you're not yeah I get

And then they don't show, and they're not driving me crazy. So to me, that's a communication, like, barrier, right? So I'm telling you, I need you to tell me this instead, instead of just saying 30 minutes because you're just, like, hoping it'll be 30 minutes, whatever. But if that person, you can't expect another person to change for you either because that's not realistic I've learned, unfortunately. For damn sure.

So it's like communication's good, but it doesn't necessarily, like, it doesn't fix everything. It's like you can't just communicate an issue and have it be solved. Like, there has to be someone that, wants to be different or better, I guess, does that make sense? Absolutely. But that's a part of it. So that's a part of it.

It's like saying to like, hey, this is what you need. And then I'm over here being like, this is what I need. And if it doesn't match up, then it's like, okay, who's willing to bend? Are you willing to bend or am I willing to bend? And then is anyone willing to bend for it? And it's like, okay, maybe it's just not fucking, if it's really that big of a deal breaker, like if it's that big, that's the thing, I think there's certain things that you categorize, like, is this like a deal breaker or can I deal with this?

deal with this and then it's like how long can you deal with it until you're like fucking snapping and can they understand that like you're going to like you're going to get to that point so I don't know I think uh oh I can't obviously I can't tell anyone what like when is it enough you know but it's like I don't know I think if you can still communicate it like hey this is what's going on yeah but then I think when communication is only being had because you want someone to change. I feel like that's... Oh, it's bad.

Like, you have to learn that it's not realistic. Because no one's going to change unless they want to change. Like, you're not going to make them change no matter what. Like, people will be in abusive relationships or something. You'd be like, no, I can change him. And I'm like, no, you can't. No, fuck no. Exactly.

I'm just like, but you love them. You think love can conquer all. You know what I mean? So, okay. Then this comes down to someone else's own, like, naiveity. Yeah. Someone needs to be like, okay. That's hard, though, because then you're like, well, I love them, right?

That person who's talking about the abusive person. and it's like no okay you don't love them there's something there's some connection there though that you have with something probably something in your past that you're holding on to something because you think you want to check like for example I have a really hard time with loss in general with like losing friends or losing relationships

or losing anything I don't want to let go because I've lost my father and I don't like the feeling of loss so that is like a super deeply rooted thing in my life where like I will then treat people girls guys anyone who comes in my life business and I'll treat people very like defensive where I'll be like you know why are you doing this or like almost like they're like they're untrustworthy to me right even though they may be very trustworthy to me it's like it's a fear thing of like I don't want to experience a loss of like the break of this relationship or like I don't want to lose that friend

or I don't want to lose that relationship so I tend to like it's like it's like you do the opposite of what you want yeah by doing what you think is best for you like you push them away so exactly exactly But it's like, okay, the point is it's something that that person needs to go back in their life and be like, why the fuck am I doing this? But that's very hard because you don't want to be, you don't, someone would rather go, it's your fucking fault. Like you're like this, not like, well, this is what's going on deep inside of me and I need to go back six years and deal with it. They don't want to do that because that's fucking hard. It's easier to be like, fuck you, it's your fault. Right, yeah.

So it's harder to self-reflect. And that's what, that's really like, if you can find someone though, I think that is able to self-reflect and look at things like that, then they can be like, oh, well, why am I like this? Why do I need this? Why do I need you to, you know, why do I feel like I need this? Because a lot of times, like, it's fucking stupid stuff. Like, a lot of times it's really stupid things. Yeah, yeah. And you get super pissed off because it happened so many times.

Then you're like, you said it enough and you feel like you've gotten to a point. It's like, I don't know. I'm trying to get to a point in my life where I'm just more like, all right, this is what it is. And I'm just going to be happy no matter what. And if someone sinks up and then it could work. But. Yeah. I don't know.

Because you're a man and you have more time. I have a biological clock. I'm like, damn it. But you mean to have a kid, right? Yeah, like if you want, and I would imagine that if I were to have a kid, I would want to be with someone that I would like to be with forever. But I'm like, I don't see myself finding that in the next 10 years. Why, though?

Because I hate everyone. No, but just the, that's just the situation you're in right now, though. It's just like, I don't know. I just feel like it's, like I see so many. I don't know this is like a dumb thing to reference, but even in like real life people or celebrities or people that have just been together for years and years and years and years.

Yeah. And like everyone splits up. And I'm just like, and I just come, like my parents divorced when I was really young and I just, I have no faith in humanity a little bit and it kind of sucks. I'm just like at a point where I just feel very negative about it. Yeah, yeah. No, I understand that.

It's fuck, man. And just feel like it's so much worse for girls too because, like, for example, if I hop in and get married right now, and then in 10 years we decide, like, oh, we have to break up. Then I'm, like, I feel like I'm past my expiration date where you can be, like, Dan Cook, who's dating a 19-year-old right now. Fine. Yeah.

It's very different for men than it is for what I think. Okay, so I definitely cannot disagree with that. I'm not saying this is wrong, but I also think it's a perception thing. Like, not like it's wrong, but, okay, you say it's different for women based on what? based on like based on the desired look and oh you're talking about just like physicality

yeah like physically women kind of like get older and right like no guy is on Tinder looking for ages 25 to 40 you know like unless there's there's some guys like I don't know I know some guys like that most time they're going to pop in like 18 to 25 I got it I see what you're saying you're talking about

just a literal like age and like physicality yeah yeah Yeah. Then, I mean, I can't, yeah, I can't. And I just know a lot of relationships that are like much older guys with, like, much younger girls. Yeah, but so, okay, so I'll play devil's advocate here. Then it's like, so you don't think those younger girls are going with the older guys for like a, because you know how you're like, okay, the older guys can get the younger girls and the younger, the older women can't get the younger guys, right? Like, in a sense, right? Right. For the most part. Yeah, I mean, obviously some can, some can, tons can. I'm not trying to...

I mean, biologically, it just makes more sense that way also in that, like, you know, a woman's eggs or whatever expire after, like, 30, I don't know. My mom had a lot of complications when she had my sister, when she was 38, so I'm like... Yeah, you're talking about, like, why would a younger guy, yeah, because it's like, it can't work, essentially at somebody. If you want to, if you were a younger guy, you wouldn't necessarily want to get an older woman pregnant. And if your goal is to reproduce, yeah, that's just, like, biologically. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, it fucking seems more difficult to be a girl.

in this situation. I really don't have... I'm very, like, logical person, and rational, and this is actually, I can't think of anything. Yeah. So,

fuck. Sucks you be me, right? No, I just... No, I need to say that. Better live it up all your young, bitch. No, no, no, no, it's not... It's not...

But the thing is, like, women, no matter what, there's always... Just like a guy, there's always so much value. I get it, it's just different, literally physically different. Yeah, it's something that,

yeah, you just can't change, biologically. Like, if a younger guy's like, oh, I want to... Big dad, that four-year-old, whatever, beautiful, but, like, oh, she probably can't have kids with her, so I can't necessarily, like, be serious. Yeah.

Yeah, versus, like, the older guy, like, whatever, and the younger girl. To be fair, like, my stepdad and my mom are married, and they got married when she was 30, and he was 21. So they're, like, big, that's, like, literally the opposite age. So then what are you worried about? You got to get a... Yeah, because then my mom had a pop out a bunch of kids and had, like, complications and all this stuff.

So, like, I'm seeing the difficulties from that end, like, firsthand. So I'm, like... So this is, but that's part of the reason why you have your perspective then, for sure, because you're seeing it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So what do you do then? I don't know. Look, look, the reality is this. You watch Sex and City and you're just like, it's fine. I don't need kids. No, like, the point is this, though, you're still very young. You're still very young. Don't fucking, don't, you are very young.

You're fine. You're fine. In a social media world, I'm not young. Don't you feel like that when you look at social media nowadays? I'm not going to lie, I'm 29 years old now I feel like ancient Really just compared to just like Everyone coming up now and in the fact That like a younger audience

Get so much More interaction Like just period with like Instagram like Because they're more active on the shit Yeah yeah because they're just you know They grew up with it so they're more like You know they're on their phones or whatever more But uh yeah

I feel very old Well you're not old No one thinks you're old Okay We love you okay yeah we love you here this is a real I mean this is some honestly it's some real shit like I

I'm just depressed after this I put a bottle of vodka for my person like I've got that vodka it's next I got him here it's fine it wasn't a movie it was this oh god oh man okay so damn because I'm such a trying to like a problem solver guy I'm like how do you fix this

oh no yeah do you have you thought about this before obviously you think about it yeah you've been thinking about it though to be honest like ever since I was a kid I feel like I've never imagined myself married, which is kind of weird. I don't know, I've never like, you know how girls, I feel like I see, where people are like, oh, they imagine their wedding dress and stuff like that. I'm like, no.

You never pictured it. No. And then like, I think about kids. I'm like, maybe, but I'm never like, oh, I want a kid, like ever. Like, hmm. It's not like something like a driving force in my brain. Maybe that's why you're not getting closer to it. Yeah, probably.

Like a subconscious thing. I'm like sabotaging myself. Yeah. Well, I mean, definitely, I do believe in the idea of like the things that you think about and you start to manifest become like a thing that you're actually doing eventually. Because everything I have is from that. Like legit. I mean, it wasn't like, oh, I thought about it last night.

I got it today, but it was like over the course of like eight and ten years. So, I mean, that sounds about right. If you've been thinking like that for a while, then you're finding yourself in a situation. Then maybe that's, I hate to be this intervention on Nikki right now. Like, you're like, you're like, son of a bitch. Fuck. It's my fault. Yeah, but that's the fucked up reality.

Smash the stable runs out of the podcast. Fucked up reality thing is like it is though It is all our own fault It's like all this shit that like we allow And all the shit we bring into our lives You kind of manifest your stuff yeah That's true So the question is really do you want

What you're afraid of having Or do you genuinely not want it? Well I don't know that's the thing Like I've just never pictured it It's not like I'm like purpose to be like Oh no I just don't want to be married You know what I mean like I see that and I think it's cute

I'm like kids are cute Couples are cute Whatever do you if you had a perfect relationship and everything was amazing, do you want kids? I don't know, I would assume so. See, that's your answer, though. Like, I feel like if someone really wanted, I'd be like, yes.

Because I want two kids. I really want two kids. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to have two kids. And the reason why is because, like, I grew up, I want a brother. I had a brother, sorry. And I'd want two boys because I'd want to,

it's a personal thing to me where, like, I grew up without a father. You're going to be cursed now. You're just going to have girls. It's fine, whatever. But it's like, I want two boys because I want to be the father that I didn't have. And that's, that's, I remember thinking about that since I was a kid. Yeah, yeah.

So it's like, I want to be that. And that's it. And if it was two girls, it's fine. I still want, I'm so fine with that. But I think my issue is the same thing, like, that's why you want kids. But the reason I feel like maybe I don't is because, like, when I was 10, my parents got married, right? My stepdad of my mom. And then he didn't have, he's the last man in his family, so he really wanted a boy.

So they had my sister Shelby, and they tried again. They had Mr. Cheyenne. And then they tried again. They had my twin sisters, Savannah and Sydney. My mom was like, I'm 30. Oh, wait, wait a second. I didn't fucking know this. Yeah, I have four sisters.

Wow. You have one set of twin sisters. Yeah, but one of the twins passed away. Oh, fuck. Yeah, five years ago. So I have three right now. I got what age? She was age.

She had cerebral palsy, so she was like, yeah. She just had a lot of health issues. The other twin didn't have it? Nope. Like an identical twin or? They're identical. Oh, wow. And then my mom, that's why my mom had complications when she was 38.

she had the twins and then like Savannah or one of my sisters was like I guess taking all the nutrients from the other sister which is why she got through palsy and they were born yeah so it's just complications because my mom was older which is also one of the reasons why I don't want to like wait to have kids so but my point is just like when I was 10 I've been changing I changed diapers for like eight years like at home like I picked out my sisters from school like I had to kind of like you know I was the older sisters I was like the mom kind of you know you have some resentment it seems like some resentment does that not necessarily resentment but it's just like Like, I already did that.

Like, I don't want to do it. Yeah, so I'm thinking like, this is, that's literally why you've probably been manifesting not having that shit work out that way. Yeah, yeah. But I also love, like, I love going home because I like having a big family and having a loud house and everything. But then I'm like, it's a lot of effort. Like, I have to get married and then I got a bunch of kids.

And I'm like, mm. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. It's funny when you talk about it, though. It makes more sense. Like, if you think back. Yeah.

Why am I like this? Literally. Because we all, we're all just products of that, of our past. Yeah. And then, like, sometimes we don't even think about why we're acting the way we are now until you look deeper. Mm-hmm. So it's fucking, damn. Yeah.

At least you're able to talk about it, though, super openly, super candidly. Oh, yeah. It's fucking dope. I just think it's weird because I feel like, like, women aren't supposed to, I feel like women are expected to want marriage and kids. I'm just like, so I feel like awkward because I'm, I don't. Oh, no. I don't think that ain't anything wrong with it. But I definitely believe that women are, like, this is a society norm is like, you're supposed to want this and have this.

search for this but like you could do fucking anything else you want to see your life at the end of the day yeah there's no like hey when you're when you're born as a woman you need to have kids right right right but we do put a lot of like and I think that's part of like the problem is like there's so much pressure that like you have like this outside world pressure or like family pressure or parents like where they're like you need to have a kid and so then you're like by this age you start to think like by this age so then as you get closer you get more like defeated that you're not closer and you're like fuck I'm supposed to but that's It's hard, and it's hard because, like, there is a real, there is a real physiological, like, date that is harder.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So then, like, not only you have outside pressure of, like, family or, like, people around you or, like, expectations of society. Then you have a real, like, a real hard date. Like, you can't, it'd be harder to have kids after this point, like, a real date. Like, not impossible, but definitely, like, yeah. And then even, regardless, let's say I couldn't have kids at all, you know, and I adopt or something or have a surrogate or anything like that, then it's just like. I don't want to be a six-year-old A 60-year-old lady with like a 15-year-old kid

You know what I mean? Like I don't want to be an old mom either Yeah So it's just kind of like There's this like timeline So who's out there Who is out there for Nikki right now I know we have a lot of guys who are

You got a lot of people lining up though You're sure you have a lot But maybe not the ones you want right now You've got a lot of people lining up A lot of people talk about you You're very popular on my Twitch streams On my Twitch streams You're very popular

And also also on the podcast and everyone's like everyone's always like when's she coming back and also on my YouTube channel for this one of most few videos of us the best butt workout I know she came in here she's like that fucking video on my channel it's got like four something million right 4.2 million

and on you 4.2 700 is anyways yeah Bradley's most viewed videos it was like the third it was the third most viewed until you're Logan Paul one and now it's the fourth and then and then on your channel it's got like what my it's like 150,000 or something like yeah damn

Bradley doesn't know anything about But they're not going to click on my channel, but they'll know. Because all guys are in on mine. They must see guys finding mine. And they're like, oh, what's this? That's what I'm saying. You got a lot of people. They're ready.

They're like, what do they have to do to become Nikki's dream guy? What's your dream guy? I feel like it's hard now because, for example, like when I was dating a couple years ago, like I was, I remember I got on like Bumble or something. And then talking to guys. But if someone knows who I am, then like, I automatically don't want to date them. because I want to be able to, like, give them my own impression of myself.

I don't want them to have these preconceived notions that they created from, like, my Instagram or YouTube or something. So then it's like, that kind of, like, screws me in the dating world because I'm trying to, like, find people that have no idea who I am. And then I don't even want to give them my Instagram or anything. I'm like, no, I want you to just like me for me right now. Yeah. I don't even, like, if I'm at a bar or something talking to someone

and they ask me what I do, I don't want to tell them. I'm like, I want to make something up. Like, what do you do? Like, oh, I just stuff on the internet. And then you sound like a fucking porn and then you sound awkward. I'm like, I always think of that every time, even if I just get like an Uber. What would you say? So what do you say then?

Because I feel like, yeah, what would you say? What could you say? They'd be like, they wouldn't be like, oh, I'm a YouTuber. Like when I get into Uber's, for example, and they're like, what do you do? I'm like, oh, I'll just say I do advertising for a gym wear company. Yeah, I'd be like, I do marketing for like. Yeah, marketing or advertising because it's like. That's what you should say then?

That's easy. But then they're like, what company? And I'm like, Jim Shark. And then they look at Jim Shark. and it's like, nuky, nuky, niki, and I'm like, oh, that's the girl. They're like, yeah. So don't do jokes, you gotta just be like,

oh, it's one of, you gotta be like this, you gotta cut it, that's the thing now. Then you have to lie, exactly. And then it's like, and then you're starting off something with dishonesty. So you're screwed no matter what. Social media has screwed itself. Wow.

It literally is true. Because like, yeah, then you're gonna lie and then you're fucking lie to me? And it's like, you're gonna learn a year later. You're like, you're a fucking liar and then you don't trust you. And you're ruined. But I feel like it's a kind of lie that you almost,

but like, you kind of fucking have to. Bradley's telling us all the lie right now. No, I'm saying, like, it's like, it's a white lie. Bradley's encouraging lies. No, it's like, you have to. But no, I agree. If you're like, yeah, okay, so I work marketing for a company, and like, oh, it's like a company, oh, it's like a company in Europe or UK.

And you could just be like, what company would be like, well, I, like, I agree with, like, I'm not supposed to talk. You know, have an NDA. NDA, yeah, have an NDA. Then your lie just starts escalating. No, it's just stop there. I'd be like, motherfucker, get off my shit. Well, then you just have, like, an inquisitive person.

Exactly. Just like, they shouldn't ask that many questions. You should just be like, figure out a way to be like, well, what do you do? Yeah. But then it's hard because. I know. How do you really get to know someone? Yeah.

You know, even if they just know your last name, they can, like, I Google people. You know, I'm like, who are you? And then it's hard because I think, like, you meet people too who, like, well, they'd find out. And then, like, how do you know if they're genuine their actions? Or they're just doing something to, like, get an outcome. Like, one of the guys I dated that, I feel like I found him on Bumble. but then like we actually ran into each other like a bar and I you're like oh we maxed that one time

we dated for like a few dates and then he told me like after a few dates he's like yes I totally knew you were and I was like damn bitch I was like you bitch because I tried that tactic of like kind of going around it like not really saying what I do you know and it backfire on me so what do you do fuck man so then that was him lying because we were both lying because he was pretending he didn't know me and I was not telling him

that I did you too fuck yeah and it's just weird yeah I don't know if there's any way around it. I don't think there is. Yeah. Like, it's hard. It makes you have to be like a really good judge of character and like energy. And someone's, so it's true intentions.

But like, then there's people who I guess are so good at hiding that shit. Yeah, yeah. Or like I said, like someone's intentions could be really good. And then a year or two goes by and they become a different person and therefore their intentions changed.

You know what I mean? So like even if like when I met someone and we get into a relationship, maybe that was great and their intentions were good at that time. But then like a couple years, later they became more selfish and changed. Yeah.

And then they didn't care about hurting me anymore. You know what I mean? Like, or something like that. And it is. Things definitely are, it's just different when you have this whole social media bullshit. So different. You have this fucking microphone.

It weirds me out when I think about like people in the 90s dating or something. I'm like, you didn't even have, you couldn't, you had to print out MapQuest or something to get places. Oh my God. Did you ever do that? Yeah. Oh my God. That was amazing. I was like, I couldn't get anywhere.

I was like, you didn't have maps. You just see you blast from the past right now. Yeah. Holy shit math quest. And you couldn't, like, figure out what they, like, looked like at every angle from their Instagram first or, like, I don't know, it was just like, so different. It was more real, to be honest. Like, you got to figure out who that person was only from what they gave you instead of from, like, all these other outlets. Yeah.

Damn. It's a, there's social media shit is fucking. It's so hot. I know I always think about it. I'm just like, I'm screwed. I'm fucked. It's like, but then you have to just find, it seems like you have to find someone else in it then. Yeah, maybe.

But then. but then it's like if it doesn't work and you guys say if you had put it on the internet then it's like then people are gonna really fucking choose sides

and my issue with that also is like for me like on social media I think and the impression that I get from people is that like I'm the same person

on social media that I am in real life like when you talk to me it's kind of like you're in my video like I don't change much at all like in my opinion from what people

have told me but like I know so many people where like I'll watch their shit or like even like just captions on Instagram and stuff and I'm like

who is this person like and I know that person in real life you know and I'm like they it doesn't match who their online persona is you know what I mean and it's fucked up because it's most of the people yeah and so that's really hard for me to like match up with like if I was to date someone in social media or whatever then it's like I don't feel like I could match someone like that like I know you're not that person why the fuck you're doing that especially after you learn that they're not that yeah yeah there's a lot yeah yeah it's like people a lot of people say what they know people want to hear so yeah yeah it's oh god it's so weird to me sometimes we're fuck we're

We're literally the world's fucked There's no hope for you You're completely fucked Blow this shit up start over Yeah I don't know It's a fucking Yeah I don't know

This podcast is just like sending everyone To a spiral We're like sorry guys There's no hope for everything I'm gonna bring some light back How do I bring some light It's hard This is one of the hardest things

To be like Here's how you do it Or here's how you fix it Because there's no real way I mean and I guess that's a light At the end of the tunnel Is it like There is no light

A good quote from Bradley You're just like So then the point then Is if there's no light at the end of this tunnel It's like so then it's like It's the fucking light that you make right now then And like it's hard Make your own light

It's hard though because like As a human like you want to have another person That's the hardest thing Yeah yeah Because you can be happy by yourself But like you want to have that person And you want to have like that closeness Whether it be a friend or obviously

Like a romantic love or whatever You want that People want that So I think, I don't know, I guess if you try practicing more living in the now, you could be okay with it. But it's like, you don't want to set yourself for a fucking failure just because you're happy about what's going on now. And then someone fucking takes advantage of it and just tries to, like, destroy you on the internet. And then you're just like, whoa, fuck. Exactly.

Which brings us to turn around into not ever sharing your relationships on the internet because then break up, sorry and it's hard. Yeah. Because then you can just keep. But then I'm like, do I constantly go through strings of like two-year relationships until the end of time? and then I just die. No, I think, yeah, it's like, at some point you've got to be like, is this, can this work? Like, can that person, like, understand where you're at and like, hey, if this doesn't work out, can't, because I've seen, so I want to, I got to play devil's advocate. Not even devil's advocate here, but I got to play the other side that I've seen relationships that didn't work out.

They were extremely public from extremely famous people. And then it didn't work out. And they did like, the AMLICO we were like, hey, they both put out a message and said, hey, this shit didn't work out. And it was the best way I've ever seen it done. I'm like Bob, Logic, him and his wife, they got a divorce. And they both put out a message before anyone could be like, oh, this and that, all this bullshit. Even though people still were, they put the same message on.

I was like, hey, hey, we both decided this was best for both of us. We're still friends. We still love each other. We just couldn't work. So, like, there it is. And then that's it. So, like, I saw her post a lot past regrets. Well, see, that's the thing.

Yeah. I was like, nope, no, you got to control your life. Fuck. I've learned that. Like, my biggest regret with social media is that, like, I used to be just a more. I'm always, I'm a very emotional person, but it's like, I'm very logical too, I feel like, but I'm very emotional and I vent a lot like when I shouldn't have. And I always, always regret it. I'm like, don't vent on the internet. Just keep it inside. Maybe if you're still feeling it in a couple months or something, you can let it out sort of say it. But I'm just like those little past progressive comments and like that kind of shit, I'm like, I resist the urge now. I'm like, I've matured enough that I don't feel. And I think that's it though. I think it's like if you can, if you guys get us understanding like this could hurt both of us, like obviously if you love somebody, you Even though it didn't work, you don't want to just fucking hurt that person.

Yeah, yeah. So it's like if you could find someone, because like the reality is it can't be perfect, right? Mm-hmm. But you got to try. I think that's the whole point. It's like you still got to try otherwise you're never going to figure it out. It's just like anything in life. If you want something, if you don't try to figure it out, you're never going to figure it out.

So you just got to be trying to try and communicate with. That's why I kept going back to that. Be like, hey, like, if this doesn't work, like, I love you and everything, but like, if this doesn't work, don't destroy me or don't, I'm not going to try and destroy you. And you've got to be like, hey, can we really. sign an agreement and be like, if this happens, I'm going to fucking sue you. I don't know. Go on two Tinder dates. You're like, I need you to sign this actually. No, no, but like, no, not that quick, right?

You get maybe like, if we're going to like date, honestly, maybe this is the, maybe this is it. Maybe you literally have that, you guys both sign an agreement saying, if you talk shit on the internet publicly about me, then I'll sue you. And if I talk shit publicly about you, then you're like, vice versa. Yeah. It sounds fucked up.

I think that sounds a little like. Well, like, I swear, but then wouldn't that work? Like, imagine if we dated and we're like, hey, like, this is kind of weird but like sign if you if you talk shit if I talk shit you could sue me if I it's weird because like but that's the only way then because like you give it I don't know think about it not because when someone's mad like they'll be like I don't care if you sue me yolo they'll still do it 100% even it was like they're gonna fucking a hundred percent well then damn because emotions don't have like when you're in the heat of the moment and you're emotional

which I think I'm somewhat past right now like I think I can control my emotions better but like you don't care like you're gonna do it anyway regardless of like you know like a legal agreement doesn't dictate like actual this happened to me for sure

yeah yeah I know I know but I guess that's what I'm saying like you it has to be the right person who's like hey this makes sense yeah it's almost like a pre-no yeah it's like a pre-nup for a it's like it has to be like a new form of a pre-not for like a social media relationship

social media pre-nup yeah because like otherwise because it's like you're trying to destroy people and people pick size but it's like they pick size based off of just what someone said that they like that person for whatever reason more but it's like like I said there's so much more to each person's life that led to that and it's like someone just going fuck that person said so is just fucking idiot but then I think

it's also hard because like from my perspective let's say going through a breakup or something I'm trying to be relatable to people right like yeah I want people to not feel alone when they're going through a breakup or something for example since that's one of my like big videos or whatever but like then you say like oh you can't trash the other But, like, realistically, it's not like you're trying to trash them. You're just giving an experience, trying to share it with people so they can relate. And maybe, like, but at the same time, you do end up trashing that person, like, like, so, like, not even on purpose, but just kind of, like, sharing how you were sad in a relationship doesn't mean that that's a bad person. It just means it was a wrong relationship, but people will take it the wrong way.

I think if you could be genuine about your, because the reality is this, no matter what happened in the relationship, it's partly your fault. Of course, yeah. I think if you can genuinely be like this is the role I played as well instead of being like this person did this and this person did that and this person did that and I'm sad now fuck you like that's very like

one-sided if you're like hey well like these are the things that I know I did wrong and I ended up and that's how we got here and we both we clash and if you share that genuinely I don't think yeah people are still gonna choose sides like because they love you they're like I fucking love Nikki so fuck that person even if that person did nothing wrong

you did everything wrong you should be like fuck that person but like I think if you generally try and like share the reality then fuck it I mean, it's, I don't think you're doing harm. I think if there's people who want to take it to this crazy extreme, then like, that's their prerogative no matter what. Right.

So, because like I said, the whole thing is you can't make everyone happy, right? Fuck it. Yeah. You got to just try and, like, try and make yourself happy now. This black guys is literally like just a collaboration of, like, things that you could do, but we don't really know what to do. Well, because this thing is life, that's the point. It's like, literally this whole human nature thing, like, there's no fucking right and wrong.

Like, I believe there's right and wrong. And, like, I can't, if I physically harm you, that's wrong. If I try to do something to, like, hurt you, that, like, I'm not going to go out and fucking kill somebody. That's fucking wrong. But, like, in relationships, it's so hard to say what's right or wrong because there's so much dependent on that person's complete life before they met you. That you can't be like, you're wrong for thinking this, but it's like, no, they didn't figure something out in their life. And it's like, that's the point that they're at. That's why I meant timing.

And it's like, it's hard because you want them to be a certain way, but it's like, they just weren't there yet. So it's like, you might be like, that's wrong for you now, but it's like that was right for them then. Because your expectations are just here. Yeah. So it's all about communicating, expectations, like timing. Good luck, guys. Yeah, fuck. But that's, but there's no.

We're all screwed. No, it's like, no, you're not screwed, but like, you're kind of low-key screwed. No, but it's just you can't, there's no right. It's just to try. That's the whole point. Fucking try. And then try again. And then again and then to lower it.

If you really want it, I guess that's it. And if you didn't really want it, like you said, if you demoted yourself, demotivated yourself, like over time to not have it, then maybe, you've got to look deeper into that. Yeah, yeah. You know? Therapy sessions with thinking black at air.

Therapy. Welcome. Relationship therapy. I like this. You're good at talking about relationships, though. You're good at it. Maybe you should start a podcast. I've been enough of them.

Maybe you should start a podcast. It's pretty easy. You can do it, yeah. You just need some mics. These right here. You don't even do any of it. You just talk. They do it?

No, I do it. You do it? Yeah. Well, he presses, he presses the buttons. and it just goes video camera, video camera, just whatever. Oh, it's just like automatic. And then it's a file, yeah, it's a form of file, and then I sync them. This, it looks complicated to me.

It does look complicated, but it's very not complicated. I'm going to start a podcast and just come in here and just like take Nicki blacker signs up everything. It's like, it's fine. Yeah, paint the wall. I'm just going to rent this for like once a month. You'd be good at it, though. Yeah. Just talk to people.

But anyways, are we going to work out? You ready after that therapy session? You can let it off, you know? Yeah, I'm feeling really pumped about the workout now. I don't want to just eat a pint of cookie dough and, like, drink some vodka. Oh, God. Cookie dough is so good. Is there anything else you want to say?

Any last words? For them, you know, some motivational stuff, because we're so demotivational today. One day to time, guys. I mean, that's real. Literally, though. Yep, that's it for the super happy, peppy podcast. Thanks for joining. We love you guys.

Thank you for watching. Make sure you find Nikki. She's on YouTube. Maybe she'll have a podcast soon. She's obviously on Instagram. At Nikki Blackheader. B-L-A-K-K-E-T-E-T-E-R, right? B-L-A-C-K.

I'm bad. It's Black-A-N-A. B-L-A-C-K-K-E-T-T. Two T-T-E-R. Yep. Good shot, man. And Nikki is 2-Ks. That's the easy one, though.

Yes, that's the easy one. Two-K-K-E's. Yeah. What kind of last name is that? I have no idea. Okay, whatever. It's dope, though. super like you're the only person I know has it so that's pretty random yeah it would

now one more question before we go I know this is random if and when you get married if or when are you going to change your last name because this is dope last name I mean I have no connection to my biological dad so like I don't have any reason to keep it's like it's all right it's sick but um I don't know it depends on how cool my husband's last name got it like if had a really cool name maybe but probably not because I feel like it's just paperwork and who cares Yeah Like, fuck it Yeah

Okay, anyways We love you guys Leave a review If you guys aren't on If you aren't on the iTunes I got an iTunes I got an iTunes version On iTunes

On iTunes Also Google Play Also Not on Spotify yet We will be But Androids can watch it On Google Play or SoundCloud I love you guys

Leave a review on Yeah the iTunes I don't even know Where to look Is it right there? Yeah you're right there And then if you're not On the YouTube

We also have the YouTube We also have YouTube Fuck that shit If this shit But really I don't like it at all I'm like, sorry, I didn't want to do my... That's fine. But I really don't like it.

I'm just a need an energy. Okay. We love you guys. Thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Okay.