RAWTALK - I LOST...

Episode Date: December 6, 2019

I have a lot to tell you guys! On this episode I share with you the failures that will occur along the way but what it will teach you more importantly.

All right. Are you our guest for today? Are you the guest for today, Mama? Yes, this is the best podcast guest. Um, but I wanted to do something a little bit different today. You guys are probably like, where did this upload come from? First off, you guys are definitely wondering where the fuck I've been. Let me explain. You, you don't have to be here the whole time if I'm talking is going to scare you, mama. Let me explain where I've been. So obviously, if you guys have been watching me on YouTube, I started a new, uh, channel like a vlog channel. I've not stopped uploading on my fitness channel so I still upload though just if you guys are curious but I have been trying to get into different types of content other than just fitness related content because I'll be honest like

I just started getting bored filming it because I filmed about like 800 something videos 900 something videos sometimes reiterating a lot of the same things and I know it's a lot of new people are finding the videos so I'm doing it regardless but I wanted to talk to you guys about something that was really fucking significant today and it is you know everyone says oh man you know never surrender never quit never fail like um and not that that's not true that like in life you you want to continue to go no matter what happens but at the same time you have to be able to learn how to accept defeat let me give you an example right now you guys are looking at my podcast right that i've been up and down with for the last i want to say

fucking three years well almost four years steve almost four years which is fucking crazy to think because I've been doing so much other content along the way. I'm just like, why did I not stick with this? For a lot of reasons, not really to get into that,

because the point I wanted to make was beyond why it didn't work out. It was more so to relate this to you guys because here's the crazy shit, right? Like you guys might look at me in this podcast right now if you're watching this and you're probably like a viewer who I've probably rocked with me for years

or maybe you're a new viewer and you don't know what I'm talking about. But this is the really significant thing that I want to point out. people who watch what you've done when you're in your successful moments and you're successful and they'll see you like new people might see me like man that guy's really successful he has all this stuff he has everything and you know nothing's wrong in his life and he looks like he's doing great and he's got like a dog and a family and all this stuff right you see what it is for what

it is right now today but i want to give you guys this like clear as day example if you guys have been following my podcast you know that i've been on and off i fail with it i stop doing it i took some time off i came back i took some more time off i'm here again today i'm trying again right this is the important part and this is the important thing that i want you guys to understand there's three really big things that i want to talk about in this podcast and one of them is accepting defeat not being defeated and not allowing yourself to stay defeated right and that idea is like look look where i'm at right now doing a podcast again coming back i fucked up in the past I made mistakes.

I went about things the wrong way. I'm here again. I'm trying again. I did it again. Prior to this, I did it again. Now I'm here. It's my third time probably trying to do the podcast.

And I want to explain this. The people, when this becomes successful in other people's eyes, you guys watching right now, when it becomes successful in your eyes, you're going to be like, man, that guy, he just always did it. He was always good at it.

And it's so, so familiar to me in the rest of my life. Like things I have now that I never have. and people would see me now if you're brand new seeing me you're like this guy has everything right i'm going to give you guys another example um because like i said when this podcast becomes successful in my eyes what i want it to be there will be people who will see and be like that guy's always been successful but i'm trying to show you that like that's not the fucking case this is just a clear this is one clear example of something in my life and to relate it to you guys i didn't succeed and destroy it the first time yeah i got some followers i got some views i got some this and that

because I'm in a space where, like, at this point in my career, I've been doing it so long that I'm able to relate enough to people to get them to come on the podcast to talk to me, but it's not like it was some blowout success and I'm like, man, I'm so glad that this got done and my podcast is up there and I'm on fucking Joe Rogan shit and I'm on all these, I'm not. Like, I'm still trying to grind and I'm trying to prove this to you, right? So it reminds me of another conversation I had with someone, actually.

And it was about the same thing about being okay with. not again it's not being defeated and staying defeated it's like understanding that you had a goal you had a dream and then something drastically changed in your life and you realize you had to go in a different direction and this conversation i had with someone is really fucking significant and he's my friend on twitter that i've been kind of in contact with for i would say a few months now almost a year now actually after this conversation we had in person but the conversation started on Twitter let me explain so I was on the way to I think I was on the way to Brazil I was on the way to Brazil and I think it was like literally just taking off right and someone

tweeted me and was like yo you should talk to this kid he seems like he's going to hurt himself and this kid it wasn't a kid it was a guy but I just remember reading this tweet and then I went to the guy's page and I tweeted him and I said hey man I don't know what's going on but you know what it looked like on his Twitter like he looked like he was going through it and the guy was talking about basically killing himself with a bunch of pills or something like that and I was I was taken off and I remember tweeting him like you know things always kind of eventually get better right you may have been fucked up or you didn't get to go fuck this shit always make me emotional um sorry so you may have not have

gotten to where you wanted to go the first time oh fuck sorry this makes me emotional because I'll finish the story you guys will probably understand but if you don't understand there's a lot there's a lot I got to explain so anyways um he made it clear that he was going to kill himself and so I'm flying I'm like like my server's about to die you know on the internet on the internet on plane sometimes like it's really garbage right so I'm taking off And I sent that message to him. And I remember his last reply back was like, oh, what do you know, man? You have everything and you know, you're this and you're that and you know, you social media.

You got all these followers and you probably have money or whatever the fuck it was about. And that's not it word for word. But it was basically like you don't know what I'm going through. Your life's great. And I thought about that the whole flight and I was like, fuck man. like that person had not obviously doesn't really know me didn't spend enough time to get to know me and I wanted to say it to that person I remember taking off and wanted to say it back to that person but I realized like what would that help someone in that situation wouldn't help

him right so anyways long story short I was actually really a lot longer um I get back I didn't hear from this person at all I didn't see anything on Twitter I was like fuck I remember thinking like man hopefully this person didn't do it um and then I think about a week went by when I got back from Brazil and this dude had hit me up he said he was going to come to the gym uh he came to the gym i had a conversation with him for like i forget where he's from for for like maybe like an hour and a half outside of the gym and he explained to me something why why he was in that that mindset right and he was telling me how he was in the military and how he wanted to um pursue professional baseball i guess he was really good at baseball and he was in the military and he got

fucked up basically by like a like a I think an IED or like an explosive device or something like that and it ruined his chances to continue to do what he really loved um so we talked for a long time and I explained to him about you know my childhood my past my life the things that shaped me and made me who I am today my father taking his life when I was six years old a lot of shit that I've gone through I want to get into super detail because it's not about that it's about this guy and it's about the message that I learned that I want to teach you guys right now. We had a really long conversation about all that stuff that was going on in his life. And the dude basically, he told me he was going to kill himself.

He was like in his tub and he was going to take a bunch of prescription meds and just go. And he also told me he had a daughter, which was home, was close home for me because like I said, my father took his life when I was six. I know she was young. and I talked to this dude and I tried to explain it bam you're going to have to chill sorry I tried to explain them a lot more about my life and the fact that the thing that's really significant that I wanted him to understand to this conversation was like I was talking about earlier like you can be defeated because some shit in your life didn't work out but it's a lot of times pushes you in a whole other direction in your life that you may not even be aware of

that you want to go in um so the really really significant part is like if you let the dirty shit the dark shit in your life just stop you in your tracks and keep you there that's a problem it's it's okay to admit it's okay to accept the fee because that sometimes you can't accept anything different like when it comes to relationships you can't let's say you're in a relationship and it doesn't work out and you maybe you love that person you don't want that person to leave your life but you have to like because it's another person making those their own decisions right sometimes the the hardest shit the things that are going to hurt the most you have to let happen because you can't control

other people you can't control an outcome maybe like getting fucking hurt from some some military device like you can't he's not like i'm gonna go get hurt today like he was doing whatever he was doing he got hurt now he's here and he has to deal with what's going on and accepting that is when i'm talking about accepting defeat accepting it like you have to just fucking deal with it as much as it hurts like you have to be like okay this is my life now and that doesn't mean that it's your life like shitty like this forever it just means like you are accepting things that you cannot change right you all heard that like you you need to focus on things you know you can change period like if you know you cannot change something as hard as this fucking is you have to let

it go and so i had this conversation with this guy and i tried to make him realize like yo you were in the military you got hurt you had a major dream you were going to kill yourself you didn't kill yourself here now you have a daughter you have a family they love you why don't you go and put your effort and your energy towards helping more people see the light how you saw the light through that little maybe that little text that i saw or whatever else that maybe sparks you maybe you thought of your daughter in those those last moments you decided you weren't going to do it but i'm sure there are tons of people and tons of veterans around the world that are probably killing themselves on it and i know this is the thing like i know it's a fact that that happens so i had that conversation with him and he's

like you know what you're right and I think now he actually does that like he he does that as a big part of his life so shout out to that guy you know exactly who are I'm not going to say your name I'm not going to give any more details but I'll send you this link on Twitter so you watch it I know you probably will anyways but my point about this whole thing is like two examples right now me and the podcast right much less significant than this guy's life but two examples of which you try something it doesn't work out or you get stopped from doing something that you really want to do and at the time you don't know that there's another direction or another way to get the same thing done or from a different angle but it's still there

so the thing that's really important here guys is realizing like whatever the fuck you're going through in your life like you have the ability to make it better yes you do not have the ability to change things that you you can't change you can't change you can't make someone love you okay you can't bring someone back from the dead you can't you know undo something that is already done to you physically you can't change that but you can't change what you do with what you have and that's the thing that's really important and i i just want to urge you guys number one to be able to do that you have to accept defeat you have to be able to say okay this is where i'm at not accept it forever not lay down and be down i'm saying you have to say okay

this is where i'm at i'm okay with that what does that mean for me now where do i go now Because without doing that, what happens is people, they tend to, like, not deal with the things that are really bothering them and stuff them down and stuff them down and try not to think about it. And then those things subconsciously affect the rest of our life and the rest of our relationships and the rest of your happiness. And if you really want, like, something fucking, I don't know, some big goal or some big dream or something magical in your life, right? check this out if you're not being able to be present right and one of the main things that's going to help you not be present it's going to make you not be present is that underlying that subconscious thing that keeps coming back keeps popping up and sometimes you don't even realize it and it's affecting your interactions with people in your life on the daily it's affecting

your business relationships your friendships your intimate relationships work stuff whatever and you may not even realize like things you might be acting out you might be you know on upset whatever it is but if you don't do and if you don't allow yourself to like okay what's going on in my life let me think about this let me process it because if you keep pushing things away you're not processing it you're not going to get through it yeah you may feel like oh I'm good I'm past that I don't have to deal with that anymore but if you've never actually dealt with it it's going to come up in other things in your life like relationships for example if you're going to fucking like be like oh this girl broke your heart right fuck this girl i'm never gonna

i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care like it's okay to feel pain it's okay to be upset it's okay to fucking care like but not allowing yourself to go through those motions to go through that pain that pain's gonna stay like fuck then it's emotional it's hard because like um it just makes me furtherly further think like fuck what am i what am i what am i holding on to that i don't allow like because i get emotional because like this is all genuinely coming from my heart and uh yeah fuck oh shit i don't know why it shit gets me so emotional obviously some shit that i still need to deal with that's really what it comes down to um but i'm obviously not going to put it all on you guys right now on this fucking podcast but i am going to tell you this one of the

those things that I talked about earlier being able to accept defeat but not be defeated being able to lose a fucking battle you have to like you're you're bound to there's no way you're going to not okay number two take a fucking break take a break this is something that I struggled so much with over the last few years like just taking a break and like just not doing shit like Like I strive every day like, oh, I need to do something and do something. And this is, I think, is because the nature of the business, social media in particular, but any sort of business that you start to get really caught up in, taking a break, sitting back and like doing something just to do it,

not for, in my case, for content, right? So for you guys, you might be in some other business that requires you, whatever. But do something just because you want to do it. And I'm just, this is actually a bad example because this is a really personal example for me. Because it was so hard for me to just go, like, go to the beach, just to go to the beach. Because I was like, I would go to the beach. And I got, like, get this story and get this video and try and do this thing, like, for the internet. Because that was my job.

And it started to consume everything that I did just for fun, even, like, working out, for example, is the thing that I loved fucking dearly. And I still do. It's different now. But I realize, like, when I feel the best is when I still have time for just myself, right? And if you don't give yourself time for just yourself, like, you know, you hear all these fucking, like, I don't want to say Gary Vee in a bad. it kind of sounded like that but um you know all these motivational people who are like work hard and never stop and this and that and just a hundred thousand miles an hour and i work and i do all this and this and it's like yeah you do but you also fucking don't because it's actually

impossible i don't care if you're gary v i don't care if you're the rock i don't care if you're any of these people i guarantee you there's probably some bit of it that is a little more played up than it actually is because i know that it's unless you have balance in your life you're you're not fucking happy. So I'm not trying to knock Gary Vio the Rock or any of these people that I said. I just say like I notice it in social on the internet. This whole like rah, rah, rah, never stop, like never quit, like never do anything else but work thing. And I know it can get people motivated, but at the same time, if you don't, if you're one of those people and you're just crazy like I am and you're diehard and you go 100% like you're going to hit a fucking wall and shit's going to

hurt. So my point is, I don't even know what my point is, I guess. Take a third. fucking break take a break sometimes um and the third thing was a boring thing the third thing is probably the most boring thing because you've heard it a thousand times and we're probably going to end with this one is it's just being fucking consistent right with balance obviously but if you're not consistent with what you're doing you're going to you're going to fucking fail which is why I fail that most of the things that I failed at because I wasn't consistent enough with this podcast was a great example of one of the things that I I failed that then I was like fuck okay i failed again and then here i am again to try and fucking kill it that it goes back to

my fucking first point that the only way that i can get to where i want this to be is that i give myself some some time right i focus i make this more of i want what i want it to be i focus on more of what i i know that it can be and i just do it or i don't or i or something happens and i go in a different direction but that's basically where i'm at right now i want to give you guys a good example of something if you could look back on and when this podcast is super successful you guys would be able to say oh shit that was just like that first episode that he did when he came back i wanted to have a guess but then i was also like nah i just want to just run it myself and see how how long i could talk for without any cuts even though there's cuts because the splits

right you split this on the because i have these two angles but this has just been straight for the most part uh um yeah i don't know i just wanted i just wanted to do that because i felt it was necessary But just so you guys know, I fucking appreciate you, number one, the people who are here who probably clicked here is probably not going to be as many as I'd like them to be, but that's okay. I understand why because I was MIA, but I'm back now. And we have to set a schedule. Number one's, what's the schedule, Steve? Once a week. I know it's once a week.

Thursday. Every Thursday, I think 10 a.m. 10 a.m. is a good time to upload for the podcast. It'll be on iTunes. I think we're trying to get on Spotify. It's going to be on YouTube, obviously. So subscribe, turn the post notifications on. But yeah, I just kind of wanted to talk some shit on the first one, talk some real shit,

and kind of set a precedent of what I wanted this podcast to really be about, at least in relationship to my personal life. I want you guys to know that I'm here to be fucking vulnerable. I'm here to talk to you guys. I'm here to share with you guys. I'm here to just fucking really be myself and give you guys a means to interact with me differently. So I'm going to do things like I'll do like live Q&As and stuff like that because I know we got the live stream set up I'll try and answer questions that are in comments do topics about things that are in comments I'm also going to have guests also going to have guests like this girl but they'll actually talk and it might actually be other real girls because obviously this is a real girl

but she's she's a you know a dog if you didn't know and yeah that's it that's it right. now that's all i really have to be honest with you um so if i can subscribe turn the post notifications on oh one more thing that's actually really exciting um bro's verse podcast is also live which is gonna be posted once a week and that's me and mike aka domizetti kind of just talking shit we will have guests as well can you show that view can we yeah not really there's like a there's like a thing here where like oh shout out rain by the way rain helped us out with the whole podcast set up shout out rain there's a guest thing here we're going to have to probably get different yeah also different seats

though i feel like this that's too high whatever anyways not a big deal um what's important is i'm fucking back and i really did this this way because i knew that there were going to be a lot of people who would come back and like i said where the fuck were you at and i wanted to like i said set a precedence for what i wanted this to be and i really really wanted to make that point about fucking failure and about fucking shit up and coming back and trying again and going at it differently

and trying again and I really want to do it now because I know that this time I'm not fucking playing and then when it blows up everyone could be like oh man that guy's always been popular in podcast

fuck that guy and then you can refer back to this first video whenever we posted this one right here again and be like damn that motherfucker wasn't playing as a way for you guys to see that shit just in your own life

like I promise you the first time it's not always going to work out it's just not going to Like, I can't even think of one time in my life that the first time it worked out. So I love you guys. I appreciate all the fucking support. Turn the post notifications on.

Drop a review if you're on iTunes. Like this shit. If you're on YouTube, if you're on Spotify, and this is on Spotify, I don't know. Like, what do they do there, Steve? Do they do something there? Just add it to your fucking playlist. We'll be on there. I don't know what else.

Yeah, that's it. have any last words okay i love you too subscribe guys i love you appreciate it