RAWTALK - Leana Deeb Before the Hijab...

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

On this episode of RawTalk, Bradley Martyn sits down with Leana Deeb and talks about finding faith, leaving body-focused content, Islam, heaven and hell, religion being misused, the purpose of life, marriage, modern dating, psychedelics, and much more! Sponsored by: PocketHose Text RAWTALK to 64000 for your two free gifts with purchase. Message and data rates may apply. Sponsored by: Morgan & Morgan Https://www/forthepeople.com/rawtalk Sponsored By: QUO Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Https://www.Quo.com/RAWTALK Sponsored by: Brooklyn Bedding Go to https://www.brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code RAWTALK at checkout to get 30% off sitewide! Sponsor RAWTALK: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/rawtalk SUBSCRIBE HERE: https://www.youtube.com/c/REALRAWTALK?sub_confirmation=1 LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rawtalk/id1294154339 FOLLOW RAWTALK PODCAST: INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/getrawtalk TIKTOK | https://tiktok.com/@askrawtalk FOLLOW BRADLEY: INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/bradleymartyn SUBSCRIBE TO RAWTALK PODCAST CLIPS: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvzSBNBOK599FqzrTZS8ScQ/?sub_confirmation=1 SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE OF BRADLEY MARTYN: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWTQG2aMDYKGDqYEGqJb1FA/?sub_confirmation=1 SUBSCRIBE TO FITNESS CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/bradleymartynonline?sub_confirmation=1 RAWGEAR: https://www.rawgear.com (CODE:RAW) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You did all your own. Yeah. Do you know AJ the boxer? No. Really? Did he win championship? Oh, Anthony Joshua. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, AJ. So my manager basically used to like travel around with him a lot and then they did a business through Jen Flo, his like boxing gloves at one point. So I think he learned a lot through that and then now he's like, has a management agency.

but then like man was that the guy who was there yesterday with the beard yeah okay yeah figured i was like maybe this is her boyfriend i can you do you have you have like a relationship going on no i don't and i couldn't i i'm not able to just have so in like islam it's like marriage right away so it's like i guess engagement is kind of like you have to get engaged because you can't do anything before marriage i get it well before because this this this version of you is not those the only version that's existed of you on the internet, right? No. How long did you do social media before this became this version that everyone knows?

Yeah, so it was, I would say, two years on social media. You were just a fitness chick? Just a fitness chick. Shaking ass? No, I wasn't doing it. Oh, sorry. I just saw some TikToks or something. I mean, there was, I apologize.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful. No, it's fine. There's definitely, there was definitely things that I regret doing. I felt like that was the only way that I could be viral on social media in the very beginning was like doing the TikTok dances and whatnot. And then later on it kind of just like it led more into fitness and like value driven content. But yeah, I mean, I definitely had a side to me that prior to faith was like a bit more ruthless. Yeah. Yeah.

It's interesting. People, do you see that people debate whether or not your change is sincere? based on like the fact that it's helped you grow a brand. I mean, I see a lot of people talk about it like, oh, was it performative? Was there more opportunity with religion? But to be completely honest, like I was making such easier cash beforehand. What were you doing before to make money? Like what? Before social media?

No, no, no. When you were on social media as just a fitness girl. I mean, I fitness app easily sold things with just like one post. You have thousands of people just like, like literally flocking to you off of like my transformation for my body. How many? I'm sorry. I don't know the whole history.

And I interrupted, but how many followers did you have up until like pre-Hajab? Yeah. So it was I grew. It was like 11 million on TikTok in a span of it. Oh, you had 11 million. You know, I didn't even know you had as many followers on TikTok. I don't go on TikTok like that. I just saw your Instagram.

Yeah. Sorry. I'm so sorry. She's 11 million. Holy shit. Okay. No, I don't. I think I got five or some shit, bro. No, like I'm not even saying that in a boastful way.

I'm not like, yeah. I was just, I was like, we got a queen, you know? Yeah. No. Okay. Before the hijab. Before the hijab. Holy.

Okay. How the fuck did I never see your page? Maybe on Instagram. Yeah. I think I see. I think you message me. What did I say? I think it was anything about, I think it was something about raw gear at the time.

Okay, okay. That sounds like great. Yeah. Yeah. But no, it was 11 million. But it was like overnight. It was like, I was growing like a million followers a month.

From what? From like just videos of me training in the gym. Like I made it in terms of like a movie. Like I would make sure the first three seconds of the content was like visually pleasing. Yeah. And I guess my transformation with my body. That was kind of like the thing that took off. Yeah, because you got like a good physique.

You like hide it now. I get it, but it's like you were, I mean, I'm assuming so, you're still in shape. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, I mean, but fitness was so much more than just like your body. I mean, even when I was creating the content, I was showcasing the pain. I think that's also why it like took off overnight.

It wasn't just my body. It was because I was like presenting fitness in a way of like pushing one more rep, like going till failure and showing that in the gym because it used to be just so pretty. Everyone would just look so like perfect. Yeah. And they would do like fake squats so they didn't have to squeeze their butt at the top. That girl's classic for that. They want to just poke it out.

So I was like, what's going on here? It's not a real squat. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't want to judge them. Sorry, I'm judging them. No, that's fine. I know you don't want to. But yeah, I guess fitness was like just so pretty at the time.

So I guess that maybe was a bit different. It actually inspired people to train. And I feel like that's why I still have an audience. Maybe not the people that were invested into my body and stuff. But that 11 million on TikTok was a dominantly male or female? I would say it was like 50-50. Wow, that's impressive. Yeah, now I have like 80-20 of women versus men.

Yeah, which is way better as a female creator. Yeah. As far as longevity and all that stuff goes. No, yeah. In the beginning, I had like 80% men of when I was just doing TikTok and dancing videos. And that's when I was like brands were starting to see my content. And they were like, if we want to work with you, you need to shift your audience. And that's when I like really tried to make more of an effort to like, yeah, have more women,

which has stopped like turning around as much in content. I would still do it a little bit, but women... This is even before the hijab. Before the hijab. Yeah, because women can recognize when you're truly trying to inspire someone with your fitness content through like pain and struggle or like showing reps in the right way or just like body checking.

Look at me. Yeah, exactly. I have a better personal brand. For sure. I would say I had way more impact than people like, I would say there was impact before but true, true impact. I didn't have the comments that I receive. And it's a very universal thing.

It's not just like hijabby women. It's like people that are trying to find faith. And truly also just like stay true to themselves. I think that's something that was important was like I stayed true to my beliefs, what was aligned with me and it was still able to maintain success, even if it wasn't as quick or easy. Yeah. So I feel like there was a greater mission behind it.

Yeah. I mean, most girls now just fall into only fans and sell their bodies. and then they're convinced by a manager to like do even worse things. Like that's the, that seems to be the typical direction on the internet. I mean, have you seen that? I don't know. Have you seen it's like there's these like only fans girls who are like promoting

that they're like young hoes? Have you seen that? Is it the not the Bob House? It's something like that. I don't know the exact group. I just know it's like it's just a weird thing to promote. Yeah. I mean, obviously I don't want to judge women for doing it

because I don't know their reason or there. intention? Like, is it just because they feel like that's the only way to success? But I mean, what are your views? Well, my views is that their whole idea, especially in that only fan space is like, which is, it's kind of a weird concept that this is true, that the younger you are, the more you sell. So if you're, if you're branding like you're young and you're, this frivolous woman, I guess in this case, or Ho specifically said by them, that like if you're young, you sell better on those platforms than if you're older. Like a lot of girls will lie about their age. They can just say they're 18 when they're like 20 something, but because they're

18, they're selling more, which is a kind of a weird thing in general. But that's why they do it. And so my perspective of it is that it sucks because you just have a whole generation of women that are growing up being like, oh, this is the easiest way to make money. I'll just do this. And then not go necessarily, not that they have to go in your specific direction and like wear a job and do all this stuff, but they avoid the harder part, which is building a personal brand. Whether it's in this or not, because it is harder. It's harder to sell, but it's harder in the beginning. And in the long run, there's way more runway.

And I think people are, I guess now, because it's the way the world is in social media are just, oh, I need to get as much money as fast as possible. And that's the only thing that matters. And the interesting thing is that in the long run, like we were doing, I was doing your pod the other day. And you're asking me about like my success over time. Obviously, I've always had a male audience. I've never really had to shift that.

I've always sort of sold or been, you know, had that sort of reaction with men. But it's the harder thing to sell is who are you really and not just just are you just a body? Are you just a piece of me? Like who you are really has to do with can you speak? Can you talk? And I think maybe that's why a lot of girls get like deterred because like maybe they're uncomfortable with like speaking or talking, which obviously you have a podcast. now, but I was curious if before you did that on your content previous to the hijab,

did you do a lot of speaking? No, to be honest. I didn't because I wasn't comfortable speaking either. It felt like a genuine force. And to go back to your point of like women taking that easier route of like only fans or even just like feeling as if their worth is like how they look, I think a lot of women because I was in that position and not only just social media like even prior in my life doing things that like I've.

might have regretted and feeling as if it's because like my worth comes from how I look or my body, you feel so empty. I don't know if you've ever talking to a girl with like only fans, but a lot of them will tell you that they end up feeling like so empty or you like rely on you have validation from a man or I guess like even views, right? If women are posting their body online and they don't get that certain amount of views or the certain amount of likes, all of a sudden they start to think like, I am not worth. something because like or my beauty, my body is not good enough because it's not getting this amount of likes, for example. And I feel like it just, yeah, I wish I, like I guess I would have

thought if I put in more work, if I put in more effort, then I could make more impact than rather just like rely on my body or how I look to be successful. And I guess it goes the same for men, right? Did you feel like you had to maintain that way of like looking a certain way in order to get clients or in order for people to respect you? Yeah. Did that not take a toll on how you thought about yourself. Yeah. I mean, yeah, when you'd have moments where you wouldn't look as good, you'd feel like, oh, I can't post this or I can't post that or it's not good enough. For sure, you'd have the same thoughts. Yeah. I don't know if there's any real way of avoiding that. I think this, this overarching sort of issue, the sad part is like the internet has just turned

everyone into like, like you said this validation of, you know, obviously having followers is a sense of validation, getting likes is a sense of validation, of popularity, whatever, there's a validation. And it seems like, and I'm not saying that people shouldn't try to chase these things or have these things. But on the internet now, it's like, how could I get it by any means necessary no matter what? Like throwing whatever morals to the wind, like, as long as people think I'm good.

It's weird how we've created that space. Like I can't even imagine being a younger kid. And like, you probably have an Instagram by the time you're like, I don't even know at this point eight, nine, 10, 12. Even younger. Even younger. and then, you know, maybe by the time to like 16, one kid, like, for all we know, he's got family money, so he's got like a nice car and, like, people think he's cooler because he has

a nice car. And then there's people who don't have nice things. So they're just like, I'm a loser. It's just, it's weird how like the perception of money and popularity and everything just got so, like, bent out of shape where everyone is sort of chasing like external validation. And the thing that gives the most value on the internet in the long run, I think, I guess, we talked about previously is like what do you besides how people think of you like what are you actually doing for other people i think people miss that point of it all because it's they're so caught up

and like you said oh if i post this and not you said this specifically but kind of what you were saying and i'll say it if like the girl posts a booty picture she's going to get more likes that if she posts like a piece of content saying this is what i ate today and this is what my diet's like and this is what i struggle with like people are just going to click i don't care of you know but that's thing that the girls or the people who are like actually trying to understand more about how this person got to where they're at. Like that's the real value. Yeah. Instead of just look at my or look at my body. Yeah. And I also, I mean, I think it's also changing in many ways from how it used to be. I think people on social media are now, they want more depth. They want something to take

away and apply to their lives rather than just like looking at women body checking. I feel like it used to be more of like if you were to turn around, but there's a lot of women that will get attention maybe from men, which again comes down to like the male follower ratio, which you can't even do much with having more of a male audience if you are a woman. I guess it depends of what it is, but if you want to work with a brand like Roggear, Jim Shark, active wear and you're like a gym influencer and you're turning around just showing your butt all the time. Would you work with a creator who has a male audience if you want like if you're selling women product? No, if you're selling women product, no. Yeah, right. You can sell male product

with girls. Yeah, but it's like, it's not the same. It's not the same. It still works. Like Sarah Safari was a great example. Her audience is like, but she's like one of a kind. Yeah, there's not many like her. Like she, I remember before, I think it was, she was probably one of the first influencers that we like used in connection, like in photo shoots with obviously guys in apparel and she's wearing like a shirt or whatever because it was kind of her style yeah she would sell crazy like these i mean people just liked her they just wanted to support her i don't know they probably thought she was cute they want her number or something you'd get a dm from her when she bought it when they bought something they probably like oh i'm trying to get a DM it is just interesting

how it all works you're right though for the majority like a girl's not going to be able to sell a guy product and a girl's not going to be able to sell a girl product if it's men they're going to be like i don't care just turn around and do a deadlift like yeah it's interesting all right guys quick and work for the podcast. I've talked about this before, but listen to Pocket Hose. I'm telling you right now, if you guys want the best hose you've ever had, you go buy this hose. I've gone through so many hoses on Amazon. I told this story before, but basically they sent me this hose. And a month before I did any of these advertisements, I got the hose. I didn't even know I was going to do the advertisements at that time when I got the hose. It just showed up and I thought it was something

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So my mom was a Catholic revert. So she basically converted to Islam when she married my dad. But she never wore hijab. My parents never like enforced it onto me. I grew up going to like Eid prayer. know what you does. I've heard. I don't know specifically, but I've heard. So it's like twice a year, you'd go to the mosque. I never felt comfortable going to the mosque though in the beginning because I just didn't understand it. And I also had a negative... This is when you were a kid.

Yeah, this is when I was younger. Yeah. And I also kind of had a negative perception to religion in general in Islam because culture and people can ruin faith. And I, yeah, I kind of rejected it. I used to literally tell my parents. And I would always say, like, I will never put on the hijab. And I was so firm in it because I thought it was like genuinely oppressing women. And I also would look at things that's like, why do women have to be modest and not men? But then once I later on in life, I started to realize, like, men actually do have to be modest. And men do play a role.

But a lot of men don't do it. So, yeah, I think a lot of people thought that I put it on because, like, my parents forced me into it or something. but I found it myself. Like I truly like unlearned the culture and learned the religion. So you said you were sort of like stepping back from religion previously. What got you closer to it? I was craving so much validation for my audience. Like I would look at DMs and I would love comments of people like saying love your body.

Like it's inspired me so much. And I think I became so obsessed with other people's. perception of me maybe what they thought about me was my worth and I didn't have any like self-love. So I think that's kind of what I was experiencing all the success but still feeling so empty inside. I think that was really the feeling that kind of led me into because faith gives you, faith gives you this like comfort in a way of like there's something greater than me or there's a higher like, I don't know, a bigger reason to live. I don't know. Like a lot of people that feel isolated or lonely, they turn to faith.

Why? Because it gives them this kind of sense of purpose in life. Do you not feel that ever? Mm-hmm. Me a lot, I don't know how many years ago, I would say it's a cop-out. What's a cop-out? Like faith? No.

Okay. Not faith. Deferring to faith to give you validation, like to give you like, oh, this is, I'm, because now I'm doing these things that I guess, are perceived as good things that, you know, is in this, you know, the eyes of this creator, whatever you want to call it God. And then I'm, you know, so now I'm good. But what if you are actually doing good though? Like, for example, I had a massive ego before hijab. And then I had to recognize like when I put it on, I had to check myself so many

times. But if I didn't have faith, would I have checked my ego? So I think it's like there's good in it, though. You like to find the negatives. In religion. There's so many positives. No, there's a lot of positives. Don't get me wrong. I just, I like, I like to talk to people about, this is interesting, this, this idea. In you stepping closer to it, you feel like, then all of a sudden you don't have an ego?

No, you still have an ego, but you challenge the ego way more. But with faith, it's like removing the jealousy and like figuring out where does it come from. And it's like, let me love what other people have for themselves and let me work on myself to become stronger or greater and work towards, like looking at someone with like inspiration rather than like envy or jealousy. But I feel like if you don't have something that's like challenging you, it's so easy to just feel like you're God yourself. But you don't think you could challenge yourself in that regard without faith as a backbone? It's like where is it coming from though? Like where how would you know? It's like kind of like a way, a way, I think of faith

or religion. It's like a way to live life, a way to treat people, a way to check yourself. You don't think you would know those things innately? I don't think so. But what are the things that with faith it makes you treat people like what? That you go, you wouldn't know innately. Not everyone is taught charity or giving to people for the sake of like helping others.

There's so many people that are like stingy and greedy. If you think about it, a lot of religions, they talk about giving. Like it's a part of it. In the Bible, I think it's 10% maybe. In Islam, it's like 2.5%. And also we're giving more over here on the Christians.

No, okay, but. Dan, we all stingy. No, no. So I mean, like, I don't know specifics, maybe it is, but it's like a, it's a pillar of the faith, right? Because if you look at the world today, there's so many homeless people, people in poverty. But if every single person gave in charity, would there be poverty? I mean, no. But then it instantly just makes me think of like the Vatican.

It's like, what? They have like trillions at all. they don't pay taxes, where's all that money, what's it doing? Well, then that kind of falls under like evil, no? Yeah, but we're talking about a faith. We're talking about the Vatican. We're talking about, you know, what is the Vatican again? It's a Catholic church.

Oh, well, that's not, I don't think that's more, I mean, that's like people ruining religion, right? Because if a church is saying, if a church is saying, like, you have to give me the money, I don't know in the Bible, we'll need to fact check it maybe. I don't think in the Bible it says, does it say you have to give to the church? Or is it's that you have, no, I don't think it is. I think it's like you just have to give in charity, right? But a lot of, if a lot of churches say like, no, you have to give to us, then it's like.

Well, I feel like it was like my whole life growing up, I went to a Catholic school and they would hand out the things and be like, give us money every Sunday. And I was like, why the, like, I don't have a bunch of money. Why are they, why are we giving money? I guess it's like a good intention to like, because you have to trust that the church is going to take that money and give it to people in need, right? But then obviously there's situations and scandals and this could be in all faith or it's like, oh, the church, you. know, use the money to go and build wealth and all these things. Or pay off lawyers because they had all these weird child sex issues. That's why I'm so like, what is this shit?

But you can't allow that to like ruin religion just because people. But now we're talking about the highest level of the Catholic Church. It's like, we're talking about the top of it. Yeah, but if you look at all, it's all faiths. Even Islam, I could say that there's people in power that are representing the religion, but they're actually not following it. Yeah. So do you let that ruin like religion for you?

It absolutely ruins religion for me. Yeah. Religion, not God or the sense of God or the sense of there's something greater. Right. Religion, that's why it's ruined for me. It's because of the people's sort of interpretation. Like we were talking on your podcast about the interpretation of everything. It's like, I don't know.

I guess in my perspective, if these things were as good as they purport themselves to be, then the world would just be perfect because there's so much money. and all these different religions, but the world's still. I guess it's like free will, no? It's like, because this is people. I mean, yeah, it's still the people or not. I mean, I don't think this world is meant to be perfect. I feel like...

No, of course not. Do you ever think that this world is like a test? For humans, yeah. I mean, the rest of the world is perfect. That's the interesting thing. Everything else in nature, aside from humans, is perfect. Like, everything works in unison where there's certain things. Like, if this wasn't exactly like this,

then the world would be a complete disarray. Like so the way God created the world, nature, plants, you know, bees, all these different things that are so essential to the world being the ecosystem that it is. If like one thing was just off a little bit, the whole thing is. So that's perfect. Like it works in a system synergistically perfectly. We're here and we just, the whole game up. And then we created all these like connections that, you know, because then I'll think about like ancient sort of like Mayan religions and all these things where they like prayed to star. and certain calendars and different gods and all this stuff.

And they lived their life a completely different way. And then we, I don't know, in our 21st century, 20th century, whatever you want to call it, we were just sort of like, yeah, there's all these religions and you got to do this and do that. And I don't know. It's like worse now. Not that it wasn't bad then and people weren't dying then. I'm sure they were too. They'd have been sacrifices, all kinds of crazy shit.

But that's my beef with religion. I'm just like, man, you just got a bunch of people being like, the book said this. So I'm doing that. And what you feel, because this is what my. my book told me is good and, you know. Because do you view, I guess, books as like rule books? Do you believe it's just like a set of rules? I guess one of my biggest issues when I really think about it is just the fact that there's

all these different religions that believe they're the one religion that is the one. This is the one. I'm like, I'm not buying it. Because like they're like, you know, Judaism, Islam, Christianity, whatever. These big religions, Buddhism, all these things. They all believe that that is the one. Right. Have you read any of them?

I've read some of the Bible still working on that. I've not read any of the other ones like really to have like a real viewpoint. But I do believe that and I, and I, you know, I don't think I'm wrong in saying that that all those religions believe that their religion is the right religion. Yeah. I guess because even when I was researching religion, I tried to look into every single one. I guess it's like kind of leaning towards what you align with, right, in many ways. But also I guess it's not as well because.

Religion challenges you. For example, I didn't want to accept modesty. Learning about the faith, I had to sit with topics for a while and truly understand. So I kind of go off of like logic. Does this make logical sense to me? Why I'm following something. Why I'm practicing. Modesty after I fully learned it and broke it down into like, what is the benefit for women?

Not for men. For women. What is the benefit? That's when it started to make sense for me. But not only modesty, it was everything. A way to live life, essentially. For example, waking up early in the morning and praying, like, have you ever prayed? Yeah, absolutely.

And praying makes your life, like, just so much better. Yeah, I believe. But that's somewhat also an act of like manifestation, like that you just, whether you're saying this is to a God or like the fact that I believe, I think this is pretty true that the thoughts that you carry create your life. Yep. Like your consciousness, the thing that you're constantly thinking about, whether it's bad or good, whether you're aware of it or not, you're bringing more of that into your life. So praying in a

sense of, and I'm not taking away from praying to God as like something you should or shouldn't be doing by any means. But what I'm saying is just the idea of creating the thoughts in your mind about, let's say, in your life, you're praying, God help me with this that I'm dealing with or thank you for this that I have, whatever it is. Even if you took the praying to a God or God, whatever you describe that out of it, you'd still be doing that active manifest. and like what you want in your life or of your life, whether it's in relationship to God or not, it's still a thought that's existing.

It's still consciousness, which I think we all sort of, I know we all have and I think in a weird way, I'll sort of share. But yeah, like you'd still be doing that. So it would make you feel, I wouldn't say, it wouldn't make you feel good whether or not you're praying to it. Like the fact that you're sitting there and you're saying, I'm grateful for this, thank you for this.

And whether you're speaking to God is we signify it or you're just putting it out into the world, into the universe, into the existence that would you not get the same reaction? What if you're at like rock bottom in life and everything just feels like it's going wrong? And it's, and you don't believe in anything higher than you. Then what are you going to turn to? You know, addictions, I guess, right? Addictions that are going, yeah, literally. But if you believe in something greater than you, not only just following religion, if you have some form of belief, not manifest. Because manifestation is kind of like the law of attraction a little bit, like just putting it out there into the world and it coming back to you. But kind of like belief in something greater than you that you were born here on this earth with a purpose. It's going to drive you to get up and like try again. Do you not feel like that's kind of the difference?

But purpose is, purposes, you have to determine sort of what your purpose would be, like regardless, right? Like whether or not it's God given or not. Like you still have to sort of decide this is where I feel purposeful. This is what I feel purposeful in doing or, you know, how I feel purposeful and showing up in these sort of situations. So when you say that, I just instantly think like, you know, you're rock bottom. You asked me that question. If you were there and you didn't have God as the backbone, wouldn't you still have a purpose like, well, I want to do something good in this world.

Because I had that. Yeah. Even when I wasn't like so like, oh, this is God and I have this backbone and I'm praying to God. I still had this idea that I wanted to do good for others. I still had that I wanted to do good for me that I wanted to learn more about myself. I wanted to be able to like give what I learned to other people. They still had that.

And I still succeed. And I'm not saying that I did this without God. I'm just saying that it wasn't the thing that I was thinking and like wasn't on my, the backbone of it. I was thinking I wanted to create a life that I didn't have. Yeah. And where I was at, you know, throughout my child, I was like, okay, I want to be able to have a family and I want to be able to have or create what I didn't have. And like, that was my purpose, whether or not I had or I was at rock bottom or not, I still had that purpose.

So, again, I'm not trying to take anything away from the idea that God can be this backbone in people's lives. But, like, you could still create that backbone out of whatever it is you want to, create. Yeah. No, that's a fair point. That is. I guess in your case, you were able to, like, overcome that and have, like, some self-belief and drive. But I guess in terms of suicide rates, right? Like, why do men turn to that? Pressure. Pressure. But if they believed in something greater than them, do you think they would have, like, had more faith, had more hope? If they had some, like, belief that things were going to be easier? It's tough. Like, yes and no, because if now we're talking about societal things like as far as men in pressure and suicide rates,

regardless of the belief that God is there and has their back, they still have to perform to be able to get to where they want to go. Like they still have to be able to be able to provide to have the family that they want to have. And you know, the way the world is now, it's so expensive, at least in, you know, America. It's so challenging. There's so many hurdles. It's like set against you in so many ways. That guy could only attribute that crazy rise and suicides and men in that because they're like, I have to figure this out. And it's, it's so hard. Like, it's so hard to just get a single family home. Like, it's like, these things are way more difficult than they ever were because of the way that we progress, like technology

and all that, which is crazy because it seems inverted. Like, it should be easier because there's so much more access to things. But the pressure is there regardless of God or not. It's still like, I have to do these things. I'm, you know, or I can't have a relationship or I can't get the girl. because she expects these things and you go on the internet and everyone has these things and I don't have these things. Then if you're lost, like, what am I doing? I'm not doing the right things whether or not God is in my corner or not. So there's still that whole like societal pressure that even if someone goes and says,

yo, well, God, you got my back, right? Like they're still just like, they still have to do it. They still have to figure it out. But there's this kind of comfort of like going to a creator who created you, who put you on to this earth where you're like, you're giving me this challenge. I know you're not going to put me through anything that I'm not able to handle. And then it gives you this like sense of ease that I know like I'm going through this hardship. But I know that there's like a greater outcome. And I think that's kind of how I look at why I turn to prayer or God in like times where I'm like failing and

constantly wondering if I'm like going to make it in life. So I feel like having a sense of trust, like trust that it's going to work out. But that comes from like me leaning on God, which helps me get out of like low moments and stuff like that. But I don't, I feel like it would be incredibly difficult if I didn't have faith to get me out of those challenging moments. By the way, I'm not here to debate whether someone's viewpoint. No, no. I like having these conversations too. Like I love, I love learning why people don't.

I'm not like an atheist over here. No, you're not an atheist. I know you believe in like something. Yeah. Because like afterlife. Okay. I love this. conversation. Yeah, I just, I don't know what if. Like, say for example, what if there's a heaven and

hell? Obviously, I believe it. But like, do you believe in heaven and hell? Yeah. I don't know exactly how I, how that looks or how that feels, but yeah. So, I guess what is the criteria to get into the heaven and hell? How would you know? I think innately you just know doing good things. But what is doing good things? I think there's a moral, like I was telling you the other day on your pod, there's like certain moral things where you know that are just good. Like, for example, helping someone overcome something. I feel like you just know that's good. Because when it happens to you, you go, oh, this is great. Someone helped me overcome this. That feels good. Right. I guess the argument could be then created like, well, what if you've never had someone

help you? So then you wouldn't know that it feels good. Right. But I still feel like that's innate. I feel like you would know that someone helping you feels good. And like I, does that come from God or does that come from just your experiences in life? I guess it could be a little bit of both, both maybe. But what about the people that are like committing evil? Because like if they're going to go somewhere. Well, that's another whole cool conversation because I think there are certain people who know they're committing evil and they're doing it willfully and they're just terrible psychopaths, whatever you want to call them. and they just don't care because they have a lack of care of life.

But I think there's a lot of people who maybe are evil to most people's eyes, but in their hearts, they probably believe that they're good. In every war, everyone thinks they're the good guys. Yep. In every conflict, everyone thinks they're the one that's good. They're the one doing the right thing. Like, I don't know. I don't actually believe, now, I'm not dismissing terrible acts of what people have done,

but I don't believe that the people who do a lot of the terrible things that we would say are terrible, they think they're terrible. I think they're just and they're doing the right thing. And that's, that was one of my main beast of religion is that people use religions as like reasons to conquer, reasons to take, reasons to overthrow this or change that or this has to be this way. Like humans have used it in that sense for, I don't know how many years since we've existed. Yeah. And since it is existed. Well, that's like a form of extremism, right? Like they're taking a lot of the times the scripture is not saying to kill a child or to do these things, but they're taking it and using it. But I don't think a lot of people look into the scripture what it's actually teaching.

And so I think when governments and like the politics and everything, when they're using it in the name of the holy book or the religion, yeah, I don't think that's actually the religion saying to do that. Like for example, Zionism and Judaism, right? Yeah. Not all Jewish people are in support of what's happening. in Palestine because it's not a lot of their beliefs, right? It's not, Zionism does not mean Judaism. So it's like that's not representing the religion. But the people are using the religion to kind of say that.

But I mean, I don't believe religion is teaching people to go and kill others. I think majority of religions are, you know, trying to find peace, people uniting together. And so I think it's, yeah, I mean, it's, I still learn. Like, I'm not, I'm not perfect in my faith in religion. But I've looked into scripture where I thought maybe it was, like, extreme. But it's, you're not able to use it in that way. I try not to let people ruin religion. Because, I mean, there's so many terrorist groups in Islam that misrepresent the faith.

And now there's all this propaganda against, like, Islam in terms of, like, like women are oppressed or 9-11, for example, like using it in the name of like Islam, which is not Islam. I mean, there's a lot of conspiracies around that one. Are you, I know you're talking about. We don't have to go into that, but there's a lot of, there's a lot of like, who really did it. You know, there's a lot of, I mean, there definitely is, yeah. Like, how do we get into war in the Middle East?

I don't know. That's, that's why I'm like, what is all this? That's, that's a part of it. You're like, this is all, it just seems like. Like people, and this is not to say God is not real or God doesn't exist or religion doesn't matter, but a lot of people have used it all to create chaos in the name of money and power and control and resources, whatever it is. That's where I've been burnt out at where I'm like, this is just a bunch of people who are saying,

yeah, we got to go do this in the name of that. Like, I've done this thousands of years over and over and over. I tried to look into the scripture and read it myself and try to figure out the real interpretation of it. Remember we talked about that? Which part? The real interpretation of it. That's my favorite thing.

It's like... But it is like... Someone else can read and be like, this means that. You're going to read it like, that means this. They're really like, that means that.

But there's also like, there's like things in place of like how it's supposed to be interpreted. Like what? I don't know. What should I give an example of? Polygamy in Islam. You're allowed to have four wives.

So would you have a husband who... No, wait. No, no, no, but hear me out. It's all about interpretation, right? Okay, so if you go back the old times, there were so many women that were treated as sex slaves, not treated with respect, and men in war were just using women and not putting them, not providing for them, not treating them well. And so it's put there because if you don't treat every single woman equally, then it's not allowed. So I look at that isn't like it's in protection for women because also there wasn't enough men back in the days to provide for women. And that's why it was also there.

But that's kind of like interpretation, right? It's like understanding why something was sent down. But I don't know what your views are on that. Which for polygamy? No. Like as in like, I guess does that make sense? As far as it being written at a certain time where it was more of a necessity for. for it to be okayed.

Is that what you're asking? Yeah, like making sure that women are getting treated equally rather than as like sex slaves. I mean, that makes sense. Yeah, I mean, what you're saying makes sense. My question is still, so then if you're like following it like that, could you have a husband if he treated, you know, hit you and all the other ones? The same.

No way. Damn. I mean, it's just, yeah, no. It's, it's interesting. Yeah, I mean, like, I guess there was like, for example, that one point, of religion, it took me like a year to like sit with it and learn it because you have to like fully accept verses in your heart. You can't feel like a sense of like, I don't believe that. Like if you're going to follow faith, follow it to the T. Like practice all the teachings in the faith. So that one took me

a lot of like really researching and learning and like understanding what it actually meant. But that's why it's like a lot of people don't have the patience to sit with their scripture and like actually follow it? I don't know. I, yeah, it's like interpretation though, because there's a lot of men that would say like, yeah, I'm just going to have four wives. Yeah. I guess that's like it goes back to that's my whole beef with it. It's all just how you interpret it. Yeah. And I mean, let's be honest, most people are probably not, you know, deologians. They're not like scholars and they don't understand these things to a T. They don't, they probably never even read more than 10 pages. Yeah, no.

and they still will subscribe to a religion. Yeah, I don't think following faith blindly is not. Like, you should know why you're following something. All right, guys, quick and north for the podcast. This is for the people who are in any sort of predicament where they've gotten injured. They need an injury lawyer. They need to get money. They need to get paid for what happened to them.

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Learn more at Volvocars.ca.ca slash safety. Like for you in the religion thing, what was the biggest moment where you were like, okay, I really do want to shift in this direction? It took me like a year and a half to like just fully learn it. I think everything made sense to me. Like I, treating your parents with respect, giving in charity, removing ego, discipline, no alcohol. It's so funny.

Because you say all those things. I'm just like, these are things you just learn, though. You should just learn these things, whether or not you're subscribed to a religion or not. Like everything you just described, like, obviously you drink a lot. You're going to recognize at some point, this is not good for me. I'm waking up too late. I feel like shit. I'm hungover.

I'm not productive. You learn that whether or not the faith was in the background or not in respect to, like, your family, your loved ones. It's just things that, like, you would just know. A lot of people don't, though. Like, I, like, for example, I had so much success overnight. and I'm 19, you're going to have an ego. You're going to think that you're on top of the world. You're going to think that you're almost a...

A lot of people think that they're God. Like, they have... I don't know, they're like a godlike character. Like, a lot of people think that. So it's like, I don't think everyone has taught those things. Like stealing. We spoke about this. Like, why are people stealing?

Because they feel like they have to. But it's like religion is there to say, don't steal. Yeah, but even without it there to say it, people know it's probably not good because they don't want to be stolen from. I mean, even if you're stealing, you want to be stolen from, that person's going to say no. But they know it's wrong. They're just doing it because they feel like they need to.

And then in this case, if we're talking about interpretation and all that, then isn't that just in their mind? And wouldn't it just be like, well, I need to do this because I don't have this thing to whatever extent, right? Yeah. That's where I'm always just like, oh, I don't know. People are not born with morals. They're not born, like, born into it.

A lot of people aren't. Like, even loyalty and relationships. Why do men cheat? Because they're terrible. Exactly. Because they don't know enough about, like, what actually matters at the point in their life wherever they're at. Right.

But if you had faith, for example, if you followed a certain religion, it would teach you to control your desires, right? But so would life experience. What kind of life experience, though? Having cheated and learning that, like, it didn't help you. Like, I mean, I, I, I, fuck. and I know all about that. Like I had two, like I told you, I had two seven relationships.

I wasn't loyal. But it was like, it wasn't from a place where like I just wanted to be disloyal. It was just seeking the validation, you know, not throughout both my relationships. One was like, also the ego like this happened to me, so I'm doing that to you. And it's just back and forth. But my point is like, whether God was there or not and I was actively praying or talking to God, I still eventually learned the hard way that like, okay, this. This didn't actually make me feel better.

It didn't actually give me validation. It just sort of numbed me from what I actually needed to learn about myself that like I could be good. I could be whole without having another person. And again, I'm not I'm not trying to say like you don't need God to figure these things out. But I guess in my head when I figured them out, I wasn't I wasn't actively praying all the time. I wasn't active in religion. I just figured it out because I had learned the hard way. Now in your next like if you get into another relationship, do you think it will,

ever cheat. If I'm in another relationship and I'm like, this is where I want to be, no, absolutely not. What do you mean if this is where you want to be? Meaning like if I'm in a relationship and I can perceive it or I believe it to be what I, what I want it to be, like if I believe this is going in the right direction or this is the, this is the person for me based on all the things that I've learned through all the mistakes that I've made or based on things that I've learned that what I actually really valued and and appreciated in someone that I would say, if I could identify those things, obviously sooner than later would be ideal to be like, okay, I wouldn't want to mess this up because I

know what it's like to have messed up. I know what it is like to have created more chaos than peace. And I don't want that, you know, but you learn that. I'm just arguing from this perspective, the other side of religion, you learn that whether or not you're praying to a God to figure it out or not. If you have a good heart, yeah, but what about the people that don't learn? This is great. I'm glad you said that. I believe, If everyone has a good heart, they start out with a good heart. And like everything I'm saying, you learn over time, it gets fractured, it gets hurt, then you feel like your ego takes over.

I need to protect myself. I need to do these things. So I don't feel that again. You lessen your ability to show up peacefully because you're like on edge. You're trying to defend yourself. You're trying to protect yourself. Because would you say that with religion, you just have zero ego? I think it's more so.

You still have the ego, but you're controlling. controlling it and you're more aware of when you're triggered or certain situations, if you're getting into an argument and someone is like making you upset, your ego obviously like wants to act out, but you're like controlling it more so. You're trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes. You're trying to be a better person. But a lot of people don't have that. Could you learn that without religion? You definitely could. But I feel like if we're on the topic of like religion. That's what like religion is teaching, right? So it's like, yes, I guess you don't need religion necessarily to like learn that, but it's a part of it. Like, and that's why, I guess

that's why in my case, I think that religion is like a good thing. Yeah. There's also good and bad things too. What's the bad? What's the bad? What do you mean? Yeah, what's the bad? Meaning like perfect example. My father took his life when I was young. He hung himself and it was terrible. and it wreaked havoc on my mind, like my whole childhood. And at some point, it made sense through like my actions that I continued forward. And I was like, oh, this is what I was able to receive this sort of blessing from that. And it was a terrible thing, a terrible act. Like, I mean, I believe most things that are bad that happened to us in our lives,

obviously in the moment, it's not. There's no perception of good. But normally in hindsight, looking back, most of those things end. up being a net positive in your life if you can allow it to be. Yeah. But again, like, does that mean God, God was there and God, like, guided me to that? Or did I just, I learned the hard way? And was like, okay, these things happened. It created my personality in this way. Then I showed up in this way and I hurt people in this way. But I was also able to share my story, at least for me on the internet. I was able to share it with people and tell them about it. And then it inspired other

people to be like, oh, this is, this is good. Like he got through that, like I told you, then I can get through this. So there's good there, right? Like, I remember it would have been, I was probably like 26 and like probably sort of peak of internet popularity and showing up these events. And people would tell me that. I'd have like lines for hours and hours like these expos and things. And everyone would say the same thing. It wouldn't be like, oh, you, some people might be like, oh, it was cool. And you squad on the hoverboard, you jumped out of the pool, you lived at the girl, or I'm kind of self-bragging right now, but, you know, you're so cool. Wow, you look so good. But no, but fewer people said that, more people said, yo, when you told the story about your dad and when

you talked about how you got through it or I saw this video where you were lifting and you shared this with, you know, that other person you were working out with, it showed me that like, I can get through this or I can get through that. And, uh, I'm not saying, God wasn't there and God wasn't with me in a way. I just wasn't thinking about it at all. I was just thinking about my life and what I had been through and what I would want. And it sounds selfish, but what I would want is then what I would want for other people. And I think you can get there without being, okay, God is here and I'm like, I'm doing these things.

And this is sort of like giving me this moral backbone and compass. You could still do that. I think it's just, it, like so I said, I think everyone starts out with a pure heart. I mean, think about children. They're all pure. And then what makes them not pure? Life, what their experience, what they go through, what they learn, what they see, what they're given or not given. Right.

So then all these things without God, I mean, God, it's so crazy to say without God, but it's happening. And when I say without God, I mean, without, let's say, that. kid, me specifically being like praying and thinking about God or God in my in relationship to all these things. I was just thinking about these things. They were just rattling in my mind constantly. And I still got here. So I'm not arguing and saying I did it without God. I don't believe that from what I know now. But my perception then I believe that. Which I mean, I don't think everyone grows up with maybe viewing God like that. But now did you feel like, like now looking back, did you feel like God was with you? Even if it's not religion, did you feel like

there was something greater, like pushing you? Yeah, I always, I always had a sense of there is more or there should be, for some reason, there should be more to my life than what I knew most people's lives to be. I always had that feeling my whole life. But that's what I'm kind of saying. I think everyone has a little bit of that feeling and their circumstances will either blunt it or they'll store it away because they've been wrong so many times or they feel like so much bad has happened to them that they go oh well these good things just aren't for me I'm just going to steal I'm going to take I'm going to do whatever I have to do so yeah I don't know it's just kind of that's that's my whole my whole not an issue but my whole like point with it all

is like it's all based on your perception and with or without your direct relationship to God like it's still happening. As in, I guess like getting up every day. Yeah, and the learning. And the learning is still happening. Like whether or not you're cognizant

and going like, okay, this terrible thing happened to me. And then years later, it can make sense, but let's say you've avoided it. You've avoided looking back at it. So then you're not really aware of it.

But it's still happened. Like it's still affected you. It's still made you grow. It's still made you learn whether it's in a bad direction or a good direction. So it's still there. I guess I would view it as like,

I don't know, God was with you in those moments kind of thing. That's sweet. That sounds really sweet. Yeah, no, that's not right. But it's like, yeah. You're not wrong. One of my favorite verses is actually the footprint one, which I have it in my room. Footprint verse.

I think it's a Christian one. Okay. Yeah, sorry. No, we don't know. It's like Bible verse. It's got to just type, like put. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Boom, there it is. No, it's not a verse in the Bible. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's something from the Bible, I think. Oh, it's not a verse. Who wrote this? Oh, it's not legit. It's not in the Bible. No, hold on.

I mean, you have to give it context. What is it? It's kind of like what we're really describing. It's about the idea that even when God felt like he wasn't there, like there was certain footprints in the sand. And then at one point, it's only, it's like two and then it's one. But in the one, you think it's you, I'm alone. But it's really God carrying you.

So that's the thing that I liked. I guess I didn't, I don't know enough where this was. but yeah, I guess it's not a verse. Where did you find that? I don't know. I think someone gave it to me. It was like a little thing. Oh.

It's like one of those live, laugh, love things that everyone puts in their things. Oh, yeah. Someone gave it to me. I was like, this is really powerful. It's a nice thought.

I mean, for all I know, I fell in the ocean. Swimming. I'm drowning over here. And then I got back out. I don't know. I mean, like,

did you, I guess did you pick up the Bible when? How long has it been? I mean, I grew up and I went to like a Catholic school. Like, I would go to church on Sundays and sit and read the missile and sing and do all that stuff. Did you enjoy it?

It was funny. Funny. It was funny. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it. It was funny because, like, you know, the interactions you just have with friends when you're, like, reading the missile. The fact that it said missile would make us crack up and we get in trouble. What's a missile? It's like, I think that where they have, like, songs.

Can you Google what that is, actually? Like, missile and Catholicism? I think it was like where they have a bunch of different songs that you would sing at church. Okay. Today's, it was like, I'll never forget. It was like today's missile. It was maybe some sort of teaching. M-I-S-S.

Hymns. Yes. So is it kind of like reciting verses though of the Bible, but it's like singing it? Yeah, hymns are sacred music. I just thought it was hilarious because they called it missiles. And me and my friends would laugh and I would get so much trouble by the pastor. It would just be so funny. You know when you're trying to not to laugh and like,

some serious setting. Yes. And you just laugh harder. Yeah. That was me. And I was getting in trouble. I was like, this shit's lame. I'm getting in trouble.

This shit's funny. What age was that? Fourth grade, third grade, third, fourth grade. And then when did you stop? I think my mom was always like, oh, you should go to church. I was like, that's stupid. They just asked for money every time we're there. But that's not every single church.

Yeah, I don't know. It was church for me. It was so, I mean, don't get me wrong. Like, I love. God. I believe in God. It's just the human iteration of what God wants or doesn't want. It's never sat right with me. Why do you think it's human iteration? Because it's written in a book. Someone wrote it. Did God write the words himself? So out of everything in the world, God created like plants and all these things and all these beautiful things. Did God create books?

Or did humans create books? God created humans. That's for sure. Yeah. I guess it's like, obviously, I mean, I'm sure you've heard so many people try to explain it to you, which is like you can't comprehend it. Which is why I love having these conversations. Yeah, because like I'm not going to sit here and say like, you know, there was people that were witnesses and like, you know, but I guess it's like the same as witnesses of people writing books. Right. Yeah. But it wasn't a book right away. It was like. Things other people told other people was oral tradition. Do you believe in angels?

Yeah. Do you believe in prophets? I don't know. I mean. Like Moses is splitting the sea. Do you believe in that? I don't know. That's a good question.

It sounds, that's a cool story. It's a sick story. So like prophets coming down and saying to worship one, like worship God. Do you believe that like that? Someone still had to write that story. Someone had like a real life version of it.

They were like, this happened. Yep. And I guess that's the whole game of telephone. And I'm like, oh. Like who did this? Yeah.

doing a room here we're all saying different things by the end of it you can't like believe in just like what people said yeah i'm not trying to take you away from any by the way i'm not trying take you away from the religion no no i don't i'm like i'm firm in like my belief like i truly like i love my faith like i love like if you ask me about any verses like versus i'll like explain my reasoning why i accept it in my heart for example yeah but it's like um that's the thing it's all interpretation but there's one there should be one way up and was like right here I'd be like, all right, you got me, dog. You said it.

Yeah, I guess I don't know. I think it's, but there is one way to interpret things. You can't have so many people saying it's a different interpretation. It has to be one way. You can't have people saying, like, picking and choosing, like, no, it's supposed to be this way and that way. Really? No. In Islam, you can't.

It's pretty, like, strict, though, I would say. They're pretty like, I don't know, like, it's this way. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Someone had to decide it was this way. And then everyone goes, okay. But it has to be logical. Like everything kind of like there's a reason why. Like it makes logical sense.

Yeah. I mean, it made logical sense at one point for someone to say it. And then everyone goes, that makes sense. And then they all agree. And then over time, that's just the thing that makes sense.

And everyone agrees because everyone else agreed previously. Yeah, I guess it's a fair point. But for example, like modesty. Yeah. The adult film industry. Do you think that's morally correct?

I think it's terrible. Okay. Yeah. I think it's horrible. But a lot of people don't think that. Yeah. And also prostitution is like one of the oldest things ever. Right.

Before like forever ago, even before they even have books about religion, I think prostitution was the thing. So it's like a new version of that. I'm not okay in it or vindicating it, but just like a human thing. Right. So there was things set in place. So you don't disrespect women that way, right? It's like women are such like beautiful creatures.

And it's like women should be treated with like a different, not saying, like a different level of respect to men, but like treating them with care and love and respecting them. So I feel like only fans was created by men. And it's like who benefits off of that? Yes, women can make money off of it, but it's like benefiting men, right? Do you think women feel so empowered? Probably not. Like so I feel like the logical sense of why modesty is placed into almost every single religion. I know there's Christian denominations that practice veiling, Judaism, women wear like wigs to, I guess, like, not show their real natural hair. And then Islam, obviously, we wear, like, same scarf. But it's like to-

Asian ladies wear gloves so they don't get too tan. Maybe. But, yeah, no, I mean, I don't know about that one. But like, it's like, yeah, do you see what I'm saying, though? Yeah, but you also said men, men decided it. Yeah, like men. Men created. But men, like even for example, women didn't create the bikini. A man created a bikini. Why? Do you not feel like there's some sort of sexualization to like women's bodies? No, no, you're right.

Right. But you're also speaking my point, which is men in my, what I believe that God didn't write the Bible himself, men did or any book. A man wrote the books. But if, but that man is different than like, because it's. What makes that man different? Because like modesty is being practiced for. example, in the faith, like in religion, in scripture. Wouldn't you say that that's kind of like,

it's like a benefit? Would you view that as a benefit for women? Maybe not for men, but like for women. Yeah, but even also for men, I think if it was written at one point where, you know, like I said, maybe there was some dude who was like, my girl's so beautiful. She's so amazing. I don't want other men to see her. Yeah, we're going to write this down. Yeah. You know what? They're going to wear these things and they're going to remain holy or whatever. And he wrote, that because he was like, I don't want guys looking at my girl. It's like a man wrote it. Well, the thing is there's also like men, men are not supposed to be like they're supposed to lower their gaze. Again, this isn't every single like main religion. Like in I know in Christianity it's

if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he's committing like adultery in his heart. And so that's why like men are not supposed to look at a woman in that way. And same in Islam. Men are supposed to like lower their gaze because women are beautiful. Like we're not going to take away from God's creation. But it's like, that's what also leads to desires, right? Like temptations and all these things. But if scripture was there, wouldn't you feel like if men were, you know, doing, practicing, lowering their gaze, not looking at women in a sexual way all the time. In women, we're also not saying every single woman has to be modest.

Like, I'm not saying that. But like, if I'm really thinking about my faith, men have a role, women have a role. And it wouldn't lead down to like, I don't know, all these things, only fans, whatever, whatnot, that seem just way too far, like just left. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously, like the modesty of it all. But again, I'm going back to sort of the whole creation of it and where it came from.

It came from some guy wrote in a book and said, this is it. Because someone, you know, an angel told me or a prophet told me, but it was still a man writing. it. And at the time, like I said, that guy could have been like, well, I want my woman to be conservative, you know, in his head or whatever words he would use in that, you know, time. And he wrote that down and I was like, this sounds good. But do you think he, because men also have to be conservative in many ways. So do you think a man, if a man was really writing it and only in his benefit, would you feel like? Yeah, but that's a, there's still a benefit to a man being conservative in that way where it's like,

than, you know, it's, I'm not saying it's a, it's a good thing. It'd be a good thing as far as like a man believing that men should be more, I guess, specific with their women, like, like, not looking at all these women. Yeah, obviously, like that's a good thing, you know. But like I'm saying, I guess my, what I'm more so talking about is just a creation of it all. And then how we then interpret it. But at some point, some guy just created it because there was some probably likely some benefit. If it's a that group of men at the time or that man and the people who were around, they'd be like,

oh, we want women to be like this and men should be like this in response to that. I mean, I'm not saying it's a bad thing by any, by any means. I guess my argument is more so the overarching, like, belief in religion is, it's still just a perception thing. But it's like, why is that there? Like, I get like it's, you don't know who, because, I mean, I can't even explain it. Like, you know, it got sent down through an angel. and I think in Islam it's like I'm pretty sure I listened to the episode

where they were trying to explain it to you Seneca and Oh, you listen to that? I did. That's hilarious. I wanted to see because you spoke about it and I went back and I was like just went to go listen to it.

But I mean you can't explain it to someone who like, I don't know, you can't say just because it's written like that it's true. That's what they were saying to me. Yeah. It was like, yeah, like it came down and it wasn't

like it wasn't from it wasn't it was brought down from an angel and because i don't even think the prophet was illiterate at the time like in Islam um but i think it like got sent down from an angel and then it was like recited or something and then but it was sent down over time like in 23 years or something right i would just kind of look into it myself and see does it make sense to me because I feel like i think that's a part of faith right it's like believe in the unseen. So it's like, we can't question, I mean, you can continue to question everything, but even believing in God, right?

You could question, you know, what was before God? Did God create himself? Do you see what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. So it's like, if you go down that rabbit hole, then it's like, I don't even, I wouldn't even know. Like, so I kind of just look into all religions and it takes time though. Like it takes time and a lot of people don't have the time. But like if you're truly trying to like find,

find, I don't know, find faith. It's like seeing if it makes sense to you in many ways. But yeah, I don't, I don't really know what the whole life. Yeah, no, it's interesting because that goes back to the whole thing I was saying about like the concept that does it make sense to you, goes back to you just, what makes sense to you at that time at that point in your life based on everything you've been through, whether or not God was in your life or not. Because, like, you found it in a certain way. You weren't there from the very beginning. And there's nothing bad about this, but you then, oh, this makes sense to me more now because of the way that I feel about myself now and the way I want to show up now. And it lent you down this path of, you know, being more

invested in the specific religion wearing the hijab and being more modest and all this. But it's still based on just your life experiences to get there to what you believe is right or what is right for you. And that's my whole, I think the thing with religion that I find a lot where people, they pick and choose what makes sense for them because it makes sense for them. And then that goes back. to the whole conversation we said earlier about how people have used religion over thousands and thousands of years. So like this makes sense for me. So whatever it has to do with you, I don't care. And then it becomes war. It becomes whatever conquering. And I think that's where I just like, it's hard for me to go, religion is it. God is it. Yeah. And I think like I said earlier,

I think everyone has that innate, you know, you're born, you have that pure heart and life happens to you people happen to you. Hopefully you got a dog or something along the way because then you know, it's either real good, the real genuine. But yeah, that's just been my struggle with it for so many years. It's just like, I really do, I would love to be like, I am undoubtedly believing that this is 100% real. And I guess I won't know until I go. What do you think the purpose of life is? Well, like I said, on your pod, I think at the end, you asked me a, what was that question you asked me? You asked at the end of all your podcast. Being human. What does it mean to be human. Yeah. I think that's the purpose of life is love. Like spreading love. Yeah.

Because we're all trying to, that's like innately I think what we're all hardwired to want. Like even at a very young age, like you're very, I mean, with your mother right away, like you don't know it. You're not cognizant of it, but your whole thing is like to be protected and to be loved. Protection is just a version of love. But do you think humans can give you the amount of love that you need? That's a good question. Do I think humans can give you the amount of love? that you need. No, I think you are the only person that can give you the amount of love that you or allow the amount of love that you would need. And you'd get that through experiences. So in a sense, you'd sort of be dealing with humans that would show you the love you don't want or you don't

need or it's not valuable. It doesn't make you feel good. It doesn't make you feel fulfilled or purposeful or cared for. So then you can learn the inverse of, okay, then this is what it should feel like or look like. Do you feel like that's a bit lonely? Like if you're, like if you don't have true love in your life, do you feel like that would get lonely? Yeah, but I'm not saying that that would be not having true love. Because there is the thing that, you know, I mean, we all know this. In order to truly love someone, you have to be able to love yourself. Right.

So I'm not saying it's like you only love yourself and that's all that matters. I'm saying that in order for you to be able to give love, you have to truly love yourself. Otherwise you can't give what you don't have. Yeah. So my idea is more so you learn that through life. lived experiences where you know what it feels like to not feel good enough to not feel like you look good enough or you're getting appreciated and all these different things and then you learn what it feels like hopefully to have that sense of validation but also so that you could give it as well

and uh i think that's the point of life is is learning how to love learning how to give love and it's obviously different for everyone, religion or anything aside. But that's just the point of all of this. And then give it, pass it on and hopefully someone else can learn the next thing. And maybe I'll write a book about God. And then they can be like, oh, that's how you do it. Because I read it here. And an angel told him that.

I don't know. Maybe an angel told me that. Yeah. I'm trolling. No, no, you are. I know you are. But in my mind, that's like when I look at it, I'm like, that's, it was still just a man. Like a man, you know, something was given to him through, you know, however many years of oral tradition or whatever it was.

And then they created a book and it was, it was a man. Well, it's like through, like through the Holy Spirit, right? So it's like, do you believe in that? Through the Holy Spirit? Like, like for example, you know how you said like dogs have some sort of light in them like God? Yeah. Wouldn't you say that's like brought down somehow? why is the dog so loving?

Because God is able to have effect, like have an effect on that dog, right? Yeah. Well, God created it. And it's innate. The way that it acts and the way that it does what it does is very just like, based on nature. I think the biggest difference,

obviously, we're having this conversation is like humans have this whole free will thing and consciousness. It's a different level. Yeah. Of searching, of trying to understand it. Like, dogs just don't even have.

They just have that innate love and that or that innate protection. and that's kind of just, or they got to eat. That's how they're hardwired. But do you think if God had that ability to give dogs that, he could have done that with humans? Yeah, he just complicated the shit out of it and gave us consciousness. Well, could he have done it with certain humans

back in the day to write religion? Like, do you think that God, if God has the power to do that with the dog, do you think God also has the power to do that with humans in terms of like sending down, like, messages and whatnot in writing it in scripture? Like, I think we all have that ability. Like, I think he's giving it.

He's given all of us that ability for sure. Now, the translation of it to being like religion is a completely different thing. In Islam, we believe that prophets are basically just higher ranked. Like they're a bit holier. They're not God. You're not ever supposed to worship a prophet. So it's like the message that was sent to the prophets was basically coming through God. Yeah, that's my point. It's just a man who wrote it. And then I'm like, oh, man. Also, how terrible are they, though? You know?

Well, those men didn't treat people terribly, like the men that received it. They were good men. Yeah, they were still men. That's my whole issue with it. Like a man, like it's like men doing it. So I guess how would that message be here? How would people know how to, if people that are like, if you're supposed to follow religion, how would it be here? Like how would people know exactly how to live or if there is an afterlife or if they view this life as a test?

I guess like how would that message come? Well, I guess the, I mean, the message of religion wouldn't necessarily come. But I think, like I said earlier, the innate, like good is still there. I think it's in everyone, like I said. But like laws, for example, like how, I guess, because there isn't always good, but if there's something that is kind of guiding mankind in a way to be a good person, wouldn't that need to come from something? Yeah, but don't you think there are certain innates?

Like if you were born and you never, it's kind of hard to take yourself outside of yourself. Like if you lived a completely different life, wouldn't you know that killing's probably bad? That, you know, that cheating on someone's probably bad. Like, I feel like you know that. And you know that through lived life experiences, whether it's happened to you or you've done it and then you've felt the repercussions of it. That's my whole thing is like it's all human nature. Do you think it's also society? Yes.

Because there's different societies in different times. For sure. Society okays or validates certain things to be like, oh, this is good. And even at certain points, it's like the validation is here and then it's over there. Yeah. But that's kind of like my whole point. It's all just based on your perception of where you're at and your life and what you know to that point with or without God. So do you think society shapes it more so rather than...

I think humans created religion so that they can have a sense of purpose and a sense of at least the original creators, is a sense of like power because you're kind of like, you know, if I do these things and I get this. And it felt like it was, you know, if I just think about the world today, it's like the first sort of version of government where it's like the first set of rules for humans, which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but it still defers back to like some guy thought it was it. Because it didn't exist. It wasn't like, like we talked about earlier. It wasn't like it was just always there.

Right. Right. Right. Because it's X amount of years old, right? and we were alive prior to that. And we lived lives thousands. Who knows how long prior to that. And people still sort of live their life in a way that I'm assuming at that point,

people would still have conversations, whatever their native tongue was that this is good and this is bad. Even before all that existed. All right, guys, quit rush for the podcast. Honestly, this is something that I sort of wish I created or invented. I mean, like all these different things. I'm like, man, why didn't I think of this? Quo is basically a platform that if you have a business,

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I think that we go to heaven and hell based off of like the knowledge that we also receive. Like for example, I mean, I view it as like if someone hasn't received scripture or didn't know about faith, then I mean they can't like, I don't think that they're going to hell. but I believe that like if you read something and like you look into it and you like try to this is getting so good so you believe some guy thousands of thousand years ago before the religion existed as we know it killed a bunch of babies he went to heaven no I'm not saying that I don't know I'm asking you I don't because I don't know like well I probably knew that was bad yeah but I believe that like for example in the three major religions like Judaism Islam and Christianity I'm pretty sure

there was like the worship of like the calf or like people were worshipping calves. Scripture was revealed over time to say like, no, you're not supposed to worship anything other than God, not animals and whatnot. So that's kind of like it's like revealed over time kind of thing to guide mankind into not doing certain things. But the question still remains like previous to all of this stuff was there heaven and hell. I think there's always a heaven. There has to be. Yeah, I think there's always a heaven and hell. But I think it's like based off of, the knowledge that you know. For example, if I am following faith and I know it's not allowed in my faith to cheat and I still do it and I continue to keep doing it, then it's like I'm acting

out of like, I know something's wrong, but I'm still doing it. Does that make sense? Then maybe it's But that could still exist whether or not you knew about it or not, right? I mean, and then that goes back to how someone interprets their religion where they think that what they're doing is just because that's how they perceive it and then they do it that's that's the whole thing that's where I just go in circles I'm not going to lie there is a lot yeah there is a lot even like thinking about it because I don't know everything I just I don't know I think of it as like this life is a test and like there's after life and there's so many imperfect like imperfections of this world and there's so much suffering to in this earth that it's like how could this be the life that were like

forever going to live. And it's like, I don't know, hope that there's like a better afterlife. But I love life. Like I love life. But I know that life is not perfect. And it won't like there's no there's no such thing as happiness all the time. Yeah. And so I'd imagine afterlife to be this like eternal perfect place in many ways. And it's like how can I, how can I be the best version of myself on this earth so I can experience that in the afterlife if there is one. What do you think heaven is? It's so far beyond what we can comprehend, but I think it's like just there's no jealousy,

there's no killing, there's no hardship in life. Like there's so much hardship in our life in terms of like we go through so many things. So I feel like the afterlife is something that is just perfect and it's eternal. Sounds so sweet. Yeah, no.

So I guess, I don't know. Maybe it sounds delusional. There's going to be people like religious psychosis. But like it's not, It's not that. I think it's just like, I don't know. I like to think I'm like a realistic person. Yeah. You know, this is funny that somewhere on Instagram I saw they're like, though, they found where heaven is like a bazillion light years and crazy shit away. It's like, this has got to be bullshit.

That, I don't know about all that, but yeah. I don't know. Life is like, I always think about like, like, do you think like situations happen for a reason? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever think that like life was pre-written? I think in a way it could be, but all obviously all of your choices change that journey changed that direction where you end up. I think you have a lot of opportunities to go in whatever direction. So I guess I can't say it's pre-written because your choices affect where you go, how you move, what you learn.

Yep. So I don't know about pre-written necessarily. Then again, you can say, well, it's almost like it was going to happen. You were going to learn this way. You were going to learn it this time. And it's supposed to happen this way. That's the more comforting thing than like you made a mistake and now your life is going to be completely different forever.

But like both things are kind of true at the same time. That one's difficult. Yeah. You think it's pre-written? I do feel like it's pre-written in many ways. Like I feel like everything happens for a reason. And it's so weird. Like timing is weird.

Yeah. Certain doors closing but then new one's opening. Also, certain urges that we want for herself, like certain things, what we feel aligned with, what we feel misaligned. It's like, do you feel like that, I don't know, was kind of written before you came into Earth. It's all just like weird, though. I don't know. I just feel like life in general. Do you believe in love at first sight?

That's kind of on the same lines of this question. I don't know anymore. I feel like I used to. I don't know if I do now because I feel like you can build love. for a person over time. Yeah. And I feel like love at first sight was created by movies. For sure, bullshit.

But do you believe in love at first sight? No. No. No way. Do you believe in soulmates? Yeah. Yeah. I believe there's certain people that really have a specific impact on you.

Yeah. For sure. Same. Have you ever been in love? I think so. What would make you think so? What would make you believe that it's love versus not? So much care for a person and.

continuing to try. Couldn't there just be attachment? That's true. Not wanting to lose something. I know I dealt with that a lot in my life because I was afraid of losing love because I've been so, like that's the norm that I would try to avoid the thing that

has already happened. Yeah, maybe it was a form of attachment. But I also do believe in like, I don't know, just loving a person for like their soul. But what would you describe as loving a person for their soul? Their conversation, their sort of like, connection that you have with them without saying anything like how would you describe loving a person for their soul who they are as a person the empathy they have um what they it's like in terms of how

they treat others the relationship you've built with them i don't know if i've been in like i don't know because i feel like love do you believe that love fades over time uh i believe it's a conscious effort like love is a conscious effort to continually like grow with someone make that sort of decision that like despite circumstances this is you know a person that I love and I'm learning they're learning can we continue to learn and love each other together yep and that's what I think love is for sure we're talking about partnerships yeah I think that's how I guess I've been in love then yeah I definitely feel like I have but it I don't know if it I don't know if it's relationships though like in terms of boyfriend girlfriend marriage kind of thing I feel like it's more so it could be

friendship, but I don't think I've experienced the kind of love where, I don't know, like, I love a person so much and they're my everything. Have you had that? I would say so, but I would think that that feeling of their my everything is more of an attachment thing. Yeah, I guess that's true, which you should never be attached, too much to a person. Yeah, to a degree, right? Yeah. It's kind of like, then your happiness is based on someone else's decisions. Yeah. Which is scary. Yeah, no. Do you believe in marriage? I believe in partnership. So no?

Marriage in the sense of what, like signing a document with the government so they could decide where your money goes or doesn't go when you die and in relationship to the person? No, I don't believe in that at all. So do you think if you got married, it's like a form of commitment? Yeah, well, that's a partnership. Like truly believing like this person has your back, you have their back no matter what. I do believe in that. I do believe that people can get there.

The marriage, the societal idea of it is just a little bit like, just another checklist for the government to be like, oh, you owe us that? The government contract in terms of marriage is not what I like necessarily follow. But it's kind of like a commitment in terms of like money, right? Like you're all in with a person. It means you're committed to them. You're going to be loyal to them. And if you don't follow it, then it's like there's consequences kind of thing.

Whereas it's like two people are protected or the person, one person is protected over the other. but do you not view it like that? Because if you don't get married, it's easier to just leave a relationship, right? I mean, that conversation is tough because divorce rates are so insane you can still leave no matter what. Yeah, I guess that's true.

You know, it's like, that's my whole thing with it is like people can just decide one day to the next. They're like, people have been married for 10 years and next to you know, they're like, I don't want this anymore. Yeah.

And, you know, I think the stats are like 80% of marriages, 70% of marriages are divorced from a woman. So that's a little scary if you're a man. It's from a woman? Yeah. Yeah. You can pull the stats like who's, you know, who's initiating the divorces?

I think it's like 80% women initiate divorces. But is there a reason why? Because they don't feel happy anymore. They're not getting what they feel like they should. They're on the internet watching other people's. That's 69 to 70%. Women initiate 70%. 70% of the divorces, the United States.

So it's like, yeah, she doesn't feel like she's getting what she needs anymore. She met someone at the gym. Who knows? But that's the scary part about marriage. And then they got you tied up in a legal contract for half your... It's kind of stupid. I mean, but nowadays it's like a lot of women are making money, though, too. So wouldn't men get money as well?

Like, it's not only in benefit for women when you're getting into a contract. In certain states, it is so bad for men. It's very bad. I mean, you'd have to have to have, like, a really strong predumptial agreement to not get screwed over. Yeah, I guess it's true. But there's many cases where there's women that aren't able to, like, keep their child and stuff like that when they get into a divorce. Because I don't think it's, I don't think it's only in favor of women. I think it's pretty equal in America now.

Well, based on the stats of who's initiating divorces, I'd say it's not equal. Well, not the stats, but like in terms of the penalty, it's pretty 50-50 now. I'm not sure. I'd have to look into that. we figure that out? Can Google tell us that? Yeah. I mean, historically, a majority is men who probably are earning more obviously set up in a certain way. In most jurisdictions, it's divided roughly 50-50. So it doesn't mean because now it is- But it still said who earns more is the one who's getting sort of- There's a lot of women earning more than men nowadays. Should we check that

stat? I want a fact-checker right now. I feel like it is. No? 20% less. 20% less? Yeah. So generally women earn 85 to 80, 81 to 85 cents on the dollar that every man earn. So, no, it's still in favor of women. Statistically.

So still men are making more money. Yeah. But I mean, women nowadays, we're starting to get. Yeah. But it's still skewed where it's basically saying that most women initiate divorce 70% and majority of men still earn more money. So by the other definition, men are giving up more most of the time. So I'm not saying like marriage is something that is just like terrible or people shouldn't do.

But it's a scary thing I think nowadays. It's just maybe it's in 50 years it's completely shifted and it's more even. But based on all of this information, it's like not favorable for men. And again, it goes back to in my perspective is like a woman can go 10 years. and then be like, I don't want this anymore. Yeah, but it doesn't say that men are mainly providers in America. Because, like, isn't it? I mean, by definition, that would be that men are providing if they're making more, yeah.

But not all men are like providers. No? Well, well, this stat is saying within marriage, if men have earned more, which they've just said that they earn more still statistically. Yep. Whoever earns less gets more of the benefit in the divorce. Right. So all of it is still leading to the same thing that I'm saying. I know you maybe don't want to believe it.

No, but there's an argument of like who is paying for things because a lot of women are paying for stuff in marriages. But even if they're... Yeah, but this isn't saying, this has nothing to who's paying. It's just saying it's basing who earns less gets more of the benefit at the end. Yeah. Men earn more. And then on top of that, women initiate 80, excuse me, 70% of the divorces. So it's scary. Yeah, but I guess it's like...

I wonder how that is in the Middle East. it's probably like, I don't even know how they do that over there, actually. I don't know how it is. I know Islam marriage contracts are different. I'm pretty sure you agree things beforehand as well. So like a pre-nuptial thing. Yeah, it's kind of like if you want a certain money, if you're going to ask for divorce. Do you want to be married?

Yeah, I mean, I'd hope so. You want a ring and all that and want a wedding? I don't care about a big, like a big wedding. I don't think that there's that much blessing in it. I'd rather just like have something simple than it's like. Yeah. Maybe family. I don't care for the Bay Wedding.

I don't know. I just feel like it's all, it's all a show. Yeah, it's a waste of money. Yeah. So what would, we'll kind of change topics a little bit. This is more about you and your sort of growth on social media and your, I guess,

what do you feel like you really want to give to your audience outside of obviously the obvious, which is like the modesty point. and, you know, what you believe there. Like, what's the purpose? Yeah, no, I never wanted my content to be all about religion or modesty. I would say the main thing is just helping women find purpose in life and feeling strong mentally, physically, through their habits, their mindset, wanting more for themselves, not relying on a man.

Just kidding. Not really. It's not bad to rely on a man. No, no, it's not bad to rely on a man. But I think just having something for yourself. For sure. Especially in culture, like cultural women. It's like you grew up like kind of fantasizing, like getting married and like having kids and in that being the only way a woman should like, I guess that's her duty.

But I don't, I think that women are capable of so much more and have so much more power and strength. And I feel like, I don't know. I don't think a lot of women grow up with families or people instilling belief in them. And so I'd hope to inspire the younger generation or women to want more for themselves. And also, I guess, like, in terms of my transformation, not feel the need to go down one specific route where you, if you feel like society is pushing in that way, like, in order for women to be successful, you have to show a little bit more more. I feel like you can still make it by truly just showing up as yourself. Will it take a little bit more hard work?

Yes. Doesn't mean religion or faith, but finding a different way to success that leaves you more fulfilled. and strong in yourself. So I guess I feel like that's my mission in many ways. Obviously, it's just like the hijab kind of like shows modesty and everything. But it's never been about, I never want to feel like I'm enforcing religion onto anyone. And I'm very universal in my content. Like I try to keep it like I speak to everyone because I don't think religion is everything. I don't think me just wearing the hijab and modesty doesn't automatically make me a better person than someone who's not practicing it. So yeah, I feel like that's kind of like my

purpose in in my content and I mean I love showcasing fitness too. Yeah, this has changed my life. What got you into the gym originally? I played soccer in college after like before I dropped out and I just feel like movement was something that always kind of was my escape and that's kind of what led me into just like finding the gym escape from what escape from life. I don't know I'm trying to escape. I don't know I wasn't ever smart in school. And I think because I played soccer and that's the only way I got into college, like my grades were terrible. I barely passed. And I think that because soccer was the only thing that I was good at, it kind of gave me this like feeling of. I cheated all through

school, by the way. Same. I thought it was so stupid. No, yeah, me too. Complete waste of time. I don't think it was a complete waste of time. Absolutely waste of time. It definitely teaches you discipline. Biggest waste of time my life. I wish I would have applied myself better. I wish I went straight to the gym. Just skip school. That's straight up. I guess. I mean, it works now. Now you don't, I don't feel like you need school. But I feel like it teaches you so much. Like, did you apply yourself? Apply yourself? What is it? What is it?

What did you apply? Did you apply yourself in school? No, I literally winged everything. Like I told you, I'd wing my content. I showed up and was like, we'd have homework do and I'd be like, yo, did you do the homework? And I'd copy it right before class. Like, I didn't apply myself at all. I was trying to get it done so I didn't have to do it anymore.

Yeah, no same. The only thing I would say the biggest benefit to school would be, I guess, more so the interactions you have with people and learning about yourself and how you interact or how you should or shouldn't interact. Like you get that value out of just the community aspect of it, but like you could find that in many different kind of places other than school. And then obviously when you're talking about higher education, like college, et cetera, like being in a position where you have a bunch of people who are all kind of like-minded trying to just figure their lives out. There's a big benefit there because you learn from other people. But school itself, I remember just being in class being like,

this is so useless. Like even I went to business school. I was Cal State Fullerton. I was just like where they're teaching us how to communicate. It's like, shouldn't you just know that? Like, it's kind of like a basic thing that they were teaching. It just felt so useless. So it didn't teach you anything, business school? No. No.

You didn't know how to like navigate, like building what you've done now. No. No. Nothing. No. I learned through experience with people in real time, like what people, I learned from other people's conversation I would have about their mistakes that they made. I learned through like trying to go do.

the thing just like I was a trainer and then I was like okay well I'm I enjoy this I have fun doing this I like interact I'm learning that I like interacting with people I like seeing people like feel accomplished I like that I was like okay I recognize that and then I recognize I'm working for like 24 hour fitness this is back when I was like 20 and I hate when they're telling me you got to resign this person and get these quotas and all this sort of that was like I was good at selling because I was just good at talking to people and then I would get put by the institution, you got to get this many re signs. I was like, they're going to buy it again if they want to buy it again.

I don't give a, like, and they would want to push me to sell more because I was good at selling. So then I was like, I don't even want to do, I just want to do this on my own. So I learned that. And then I did it on my own in like parks and like this. I would show people's houses. And I just learned everything through trial and error. I don't think I, I think what they teach is completely useless now. It's like the best thing they could teach kids now is,

taxes is like maybe another language. That'd be really useful, like things that are actually beneficial. Like I remember being a kid of being like learning math. And I was like, this is, I know this is useless. And how useless is math now? Not that it's not useful to know about numbers, but like anything you would need to figure out, you just type on a calculator, type on your phone now.

Yeah, I guess it's true. But I mean, and I had business people, what people were teaching me like these teachers, in business school and they're what like they're a professor they don't have a business what the they teach me about business why am i list this person who's like a pretend business person who doesn't have a business who doesn't operate a business who's sitting in a class getting paid to teach me basics about business but they don't actually have a business why am i here yeah i don't talk to people who actually have experience i don't think i guess there's certain majors right because

if you want to be a doctor obviously that's being like a lawyer being like an accountant You need to know those principles. You need to know those basics. Being a doctor, you can't even become a doctor without getting degrees, which that makes sense. But a lot of school, whether it's like communication majors or business majors, it's like just trial and error. You're going to have to figure it out. Might as well go figure it out without a giant loan to your name because you owe money to a school. Go take a loan and try and open a business.

Yeah. No, I think it's pointless. Talk to people in that field. And so that's my perspective of education. It's just trash at this point for people. Like, and now how people don't even, they, it's just on their phone. They're just going to like AI, AI every answer anyways. Like people are becoming mindless to it.

So it's, it's weird what's going on. But yeah, the biggest benefits to school was just interaction with other humans. They were, you know, we're forced to be in a place because we paid tuition. And then you learn, you know, what this person is doing. Maybe you make a network connection like, oh, this can work. And you guys can do something together. That's the biggest benefit to it. But school itself was like, I can't say I was like, oh, I really, I really, I.

There's nothing in my mind that I can go throughout all my years of school, including like the three or so years of college that I did before I dropped out because I couldn't keep paying for it. Would I be like, this was really useful? Not one thing. Yeah, because I don't think business degrees, but maybe if it was different kinds of degrees. But also I think school is maybe just more time,

more time to figure out what you're going to do. I mean, at least that's- But you pay for it. Just another institution taking money from you. Yeah, no. But even then I would argue like some doctors, why aren't they taught more about nutrition? Yeah, well, then that just goes into,

we can talk about conspiracies all day. Yeah, no, it's not really, I don't think it's a conspiracy. Like, I believe that, yeah, I don't know, like pushing. Well, they teach people to keep people sick that rely on medicine so that big pharma can just make trillions of dollars. Yeah. Force people to take medications or jabs or COVID things.

It's just, we live in a very nasty world of just like economy and money and power and more. And in school as a giant institution, there's just another version of that that defers all the actual things that you should really learn to things that, I don't know, make you more of just a worker be or like still just relying on the system as a whole, instead of being able to rely on yourself. They should teach kids how to rely on themselves, like in different ways. What are different ways you can teach a kid to rely on themselves? Like focus on the stuff that actually helps.

But the system is designed for people to fall in line. Yeah. And that's the sad part of it all. And specifically talking about the West. Like obviously I can't speak to what's happening anywhere else in the world. Like I think China is completely different the way they teach kids. And even the way they, you know, allow kids to show up on social media. I think it's completely different.

You know, people that are getting degrees are still not able to find jobs. Yeah. That's even scarier. It's like you're just in those loans. Like do you think, what do you think about like loans and interest? Do you think it's all like a, oh man. It's like a thing for the system to like, I don't know.

Oh, well, it's, the whole thing. Because at one point, humans traded, humans bartered, right? We're way past it, obviously now. And then we created these, like, central banks that loaned against the money that, like, wasn't even real. It's, like, governments. There's a bunch of conspiracies around this whole conversation. But, yeah, it's like, it's just put the average person in a position that's, like,

just the lowest point than to have to go the hardest to even get any some sort of, semblance of like success now it's it's it's crazy like that whole thing i could talk about forever i don't want to get all political but they just have it's just a mess man yeah i mean religion says no interest some religion yeah and some created it uh that's a little bit but see there's a positive right what if there's no interest people would be able to buy houses yeah what if there wasn't property tax. What if you actually own the thing that you bought once you bought it? It's paying money to the government forever and then they take it back when you die. It's crazy. It's so nuts, man. The world we live in is insane. Yeah, no, it's not good. It's very much stacked

against you. So I guess, I mean, the topic about religion is interesting because it's like, maybe we can believe in that. Maybe we can fall back on that. Well, I mean, if there was, like, for example, if there was things put in place, if there was no interest, then wouldn't life be better for people? For sure. If there was people, everyone giving in charity and everyone had money, nobody was poor, wouldn't life be better? Yeah. You're talking about a fairy tale, though. But right, but that's like why religion's in place, no? Yeah, but it's been in place for what? Thousands of years. It's still not a fairy tale. This is the same thing. If enough people were like, in America, we're not paying taxes, then we would be free. And we could do that. People have that power.

Absolutely have that power. Could today go, you know what? We're not paying this tax and we wouldn't have to do it. There's not enough jails. There's not enough lawyers. There's not enough judges. No one's going to be able to fit into any of these prisons. Like you can't actually enforce it. It's only enforced because of the power that's been created to control people to believe that it has to be this way.

I mean, I can go back into this whole thing about religion. Like in my perspective of it in its origination was like that was the first version of control. That was the first version of like what is going to guide us and how are we going to have power over this group of people or group of people now government is that in a lot of ways and all over the world same thing but yeah the life could be so much more simple but it's just not because people are afraid people are fearful of standing up and saying this is wrong and that's why we're here in my mind it just goes back to okay let's say the fairy tale exists let's say there was a resolution let's say everyone said i'm not paying this tax now power shifts who's the next person who gets in line is that now is the powerful one does

and not just become the same thing in a thousand years, two thousand years, with a different set of faces that are in charge and control. That's the human nature of it all. And that's why I think humans are just, they're just terrible. Because you get it and you go, even like we were talking earlier about the validation of just the Instagram likes or the following or like,

I'm good, being one of the people that is in that position of power, like you're going to have that innate feeling or even if it's subconscious, you're going to have it because you know that you have that power. then do you then just perceive other people lesser than you? That just happens no matter what religion, no matter what area, geographical point.

Like, that's why we're here. That's why humans are in the predicament that they're in. Do you perceive people less than you? No. Ever. No. At one point, I'm sure. At one point, that's why I could speak to this point,

is that at one point I for sure felt like I was not necessarily better than other people, but I had accomplished more. So in that sense, I was like, I don't want to hear what you have to say about the thing that I'm doing because I'm doing it. You're not.

I did have that sense of like, I'm better in that sense. But on like an innate level, no, I don't believe I'm better than anyone. Yeah. No, because I've also been terrible. I've also done the things. I've also not been the best version of myself.

Like, I know that that's not even real. Using all like humans are equal at the end of the day. I think they could be. But I don't think they are. In what way? live learned life experiences the timing of things we all learn at a different rate we all learn at a different time so many different facets of life like relationship business friendship friendship all those things come to us to different points so no they're not all equal like

can they all be equal sure but is it all at this right time same reason why people they date and they're you know they're they're in this tumultuous relationship because one person's here but the other person's here but they want to be together but they can't they can't match because they're not there. They didn't learn enough to be like, oh, I know enough now, this is, this is working. Right? So, yeah, no, not, definitely not equal.

It's like equal knowledge. That's like, I guess like, I guess like, no, no, no, no, equal. I guess, yeah, that you're explaining, like, equal life experiences and, like, equal knowledge. But, like, in terms of, like, everyone is equal at the end of the day. Like, you should treat everyone with respect. Yeah, absolutely.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's understanding. And that that's me from precision now, understanding that, that I didn't know it all.

I didn't have all the answers. I still don't have all the answers. Like I had to learn enough to get to that point to be able to look and say, that's just a human experience that someone is having. They're learning. They're going through this.

And that allows you to let go of a lot of like how it should be or it has to be this way or people have to treat me this way because you recognize that you've been imperfect, that we've been imperfect, that we've learned at our own rate. So someone else has learned at their own rate as well. That's just life.

Yeah. but I'm also like, did God teach me that or did I just figure that out because I did it? You know, that's where I get all fucked up. And then it's like I sound like I'm like some person who doesn't believe in God or whatever, but I do. No, I feel like you do. Yeah. You can tell that you do. Yeah.

But yeah, the human experience is just so unique and difficult. But it's interesting because you look at how much money is in the world and how it doesn't have to be, but it still is. Yeah. And then if it was all changed and there was a revolution and everything changed, would it then not just become a different version of the same thing in a thousand, two thousand years? I think it would because you'd have people mismanage that power. You have people mismanage their, you know, their egos in regards to the power that they do have

or the knowledge that they have over someone else. I think it's just an inevitable. Well, it's because we're imperfect. Yeah, no. That's why, I don't know. I feel like just this. This world is never going to be perfect. And that's why like...

If we weren't here, I think it would be. Guess it's true. Yeah, like I said, we weren't here. It'd be so beautiful. Imagine just the hills. I always think about the valley. I'm like, man, imagine when no one was here. It would probably look gorgeous.

Do you think you'd, would you ever move out of the U.S.? Yeah, I'd love to live on a farm somewhere, to be honest. In the U.S. or outside? U.S. or outside. I just like, I just want to live. It sounds so, like, bad. Like, I just want to live away. I'm not, I don't mean like I don't like people.

I just, I just want to, I like peace. It's like basic. Do you not have peace right now? I do, but I don't in the sense that like it's still a constant grind. Like I still have to continue. I still have to push things forward. I still have business things I have to attend to. I have peace a lot of times.

I don't be wrong. Like my life's very blessed. I'm very grateful for my life. But, you know, you still have that constant desire to create or to do more. feel like there's more to be done. You can't really shake that feeling. I don't even know if I ever will, but it is nice to just go disappear in my van

and just sit like out in nature and see no one and hear nothing. It's just like quiet. I love it. That's like my favorite thing to do. Do you take a day off? Rarely. Yeah, rarely.

Very rarely. Sometimes I do. It's probably like once, twice a year. I'll just like not do anything. And even that, I'm still like, fucking on my phone thinking about what I could or couldn't be doing. Kind of bad. No, I guess it's, I mean, it fulfills you though, no?

Like it gives you purpose. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's the point. Yeah. I think it's the point of all of this to have something to work towards at any point in your life. You have a van? What's that? You have a van?

Yeah, you walk past it. It's like a camper fan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Got a bed in it. You sleep in it? You sleep in it. Yeah, you got a bed and, like, I'm such a nerd.

I have a computer in there so I can play video games. I got a star link on that. Do you actually go out into like, I don't know, the wild and just sleep in it? 100%. What? Yeah, just completely. Are you lying? I'm not lying.

You did this like alone? Yeah. Yeah. And my brother was the one who actually put me onto it because he's lived in a van for the last like 11 years. Your brother was in a van? Yeah. Just like by choice. I talk about this and people like, he didn't give his brother money, but I also paid his van off and he chooses to have that life.

Like he chooses to live that life. Yeah. But yeah, he lives in a van. He just sends me a picture all the times where he's like, He's fishing, he's snowboarding, he's skiing, he's at a lake. His life's amazing. He lives very minimal. And so he's one who got me to get the van.

And I was like, oh, let me try this. I go there. Yeah, I got my Starlink. I got all my fancy shit. The fancy van. But yeah, I do just pull out of the chair and just sit there and just completely silent. It's the nicest thing in the world. That actually sounds so peaceful.

It is. It's incredible. It kind of defeats the purpose if you're bringing all, like, gaming with you, though. Well, yeah, I don't always game. But it's just a, you know, little earthly pleasures of being able to, I guess. But yeah, I don't always do. I normally just sit out there and like I have my dogs and fucking cook food and do nothing. Go on like a hot spring or go on a hike.

I'll bring my dirt bike and ride up mountains. How often do you do that? Realistically, probably twice a year. Oh, that's not a lot. Definitely not enough. Yeah. I should do it more. Have you ever done that?

You ever camp? No. You don't look like you camp. I'm not really big into bugs but I would camp It's not just bugs everywhere It's different for women to do that That's scary

To go out and camp alone 100% you're not wrong Yeah I mean I've had a gun and all the shit So it's in I'm a man It is way different Yeah if I was a man maybe I would do that But if because I'm a woman I would just like get scared at night

Maybe with friends Yeah that is interesting how it's just completely I mean that just makes sense completely different life experience. Yeah, I know. You just bring it. Oh, I don't know if you have guns in your religion. You can bring a gun.

I think, I mean, you can have it for like protection. Yeah, yeah. It's fun. It's also, can you go out to like BLM land and shoot guns? It's so fun. Beah who? BLM land. It's like conservation land in California.

That's what they call it. Oh. You can go camp. You can just, you could stay there for like a week or something at a time. I don't know guns were alone in California. Yeah, on that specific land. Oh, but not in general? It is in general.

But like you can go and just shoot them. Oh, okay. Like in that land specifically. You can't just shoot them like in the city. Otherwise, the cop's going to knock on your door. No, obviously not. Yeah, you can go set up targets and shoot. That's what I do, ride dirt bikes and make a fire and hillbilly shit, I guess.

Where does your mom live? Northern California. I'm from San Francisco. Okay. Oh, right. Yeah. So, yeah, I love it. I need to do more of that.

What was your mom like? The most amazing woman on the planet? Does she have like a farm and stuff? No. So where does that come from? Like RVs and stuff? I don't know. My brother.

Oh. He's a hippie. He was totally a hippie his whole life. Oh. He just like avoid. He really at one point just really wanted to avoid people because I mean he took the whole, my whole dad passing probably probably harder than I did. Is he older?

Yeah. Like one year older. He had a harder time like accepting the whole thing. So he just like became more of a recluse in a lot of ways. But his life's amazing. Sounds so dope. It's funny. because I made all this money and you just have to like keep going.

And I'm like, damn, well, he's over there just, I want to do that. He's just living. Yeah. Yeah. Fishing. It's more free. Yeah. Some of my best moments I've just spent, when spent time with him, we're just at like a random

lake up in the eastern Sierra is like, no one's there. It's completely silent. You hear the wind. It's cool. Really cool. This bugs. I need to try it, though. You should try it.

Yeah. It sounds peaceful. You should try it. Just go with like, go with a man. You need to be protected. Yeah, like maybe five in five years. Yeah, well, five years is when you're going to have a guy? Yeah, maybe I'm like waiting five years, maybe.

Are you actively waiting five years to be in a relationship? I don't know. I just feel like women and men, do you like men benefit in relationships more than women? I mean, it depends on so many things. Because I feel like. Like if she's cooking and she. Yeah. Okay, well, that's not a woman's role.

My God. I feel like I read it in a book somewhere. That has to be in a book. No. That's not in the Quran. No, it's not. That should be. Yeah, no.

How do they do the wife thing, the multiple wives and not the cooking thing? No, yeah. They flopped on that one. They flopped on that. That's terrible. I'm sorry. I'm kind of trolling. Also kind of not.

I think it's the coolest thing ever. What? Having a woman that cooks for you is the best thing in the world. Well, I feel like it's such a nurturing thing that women feel inclined to do so, but it doesn't women want to do it if a woman feels like respected and a man is like providing for her. Yeah, of course. But if a man is making a woman feel like in her masculine, she's not going to want to cook for you. In her masculine. I love, I love these conversations. But there is many men that don't empower women or make her feel as if like. So in that case, what would be empowering? I mean,

I'll buy the food obviously. I'm not going to make her buy the food. It's like empowering women in her career not feeling like she's a threat to them in terms of like competition but then also like power in the Tesla to go to the grocery store what what do you mean to buy the food power in the Tesla oh to power in the Tesla so she can go buy the grocery so we could eat them after she cooks it's not only it's not only that because I don't feel like like for example if a man had less than me I would still consider it if he was emotionally intelligent and he was like bringing something beneficial to my life, not only money. Does that make sense? Because a man could be a provider and pay for everything, but then treat you, treat you like crop. Yeah, for sure. So I don't,

but you know what's interesting about that concept of a man that's emotion and intelligent? Like, he probably would have made money somehow if he was that intelligent. Yeah. I mean, I don't like lazy men either. Like they have to have some kind of ambition. Doesn't mean they have to have it figured out. So you need a unicorn. Yeah, I need a unicorn. No, I don't. I don't know if they make those anymore. I think those is just like the Bible days. The men are built different nowadays. There's not like true men anymore.

I just feel like it's very rare to find. Well, what makes someone a true man? Because they're providing. No, being emotionally intelligent. I think that, and emotionally intelligent meaning. When you go crazy, they don't get mad. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

I'm kidding. No, but that's kind of true. But no, but actually being able to, yeah, I guess being able to tolerate women's moods. Because we are, women are a bit crazy sometimes. And we go through different things with our, like, hormones. But that's just understanding basic anatomy and women's, they literally hormones do this. Yeah. But a lot of men don't realize that.

But also a man who's like willing to work on a relationship, make time, listen. I think that's important. But women will feel naturally inclined to nurture a relationship, which oftentimes I feel like, for example, if I want a marriage, I want to be able to nurture that marriage. I want to be able to be attentive to my husband. But if I'm so fixated on my career, would I be able to nurture a man the same way? Does that make sense? Which then also a lot of men feel emasculated if a woman is the breadwinner. But I mean, there's so many, I guess there's a lot of women that say that, you know,

if a man who understands and you communicate and he feels like a provider in different ways, not only financially, then it could work. But I don't think I've encountered that yet. Yeah. But do you- I feel like women would get resentful if a man wasn't providing some sort of monetary value?

Providing or even, because I see a lot of men that help a woman build her career. Like I feel like that's, you're both on this mission together. I feel like that's kind of cool. But I mean- Like what, he's like taking pictures for you and shit?

No, not that. No, I'm talking about like managing things or maybe it's... Like the only fans managers who like normally their boyfriends are the managers? That's a different thing. That is no. I'm not going to say this. I don't want to disrespect women. But yeah, no, not that.

Okay. But yeah, I guess I don't know. But how would a man manage you if you're already successful? He's going to be like, go do this. You're like, already do this. Motherfx. Well, I mean, I guess they could be knowledgeable, more knowledgeable, more, um, just because a man doesn't have money, doesn't mean he doesn't have wisdom in life.

So I feel like a guy who was smart who could teach you things. That's so interesting because I automatically go, he was smart and he was teaching you things. He would have made money. Well, he could just have a stable income job. Okay. Right? That's fair. But I mean.

But if he could teach you things and you're successful and you have income and you're the earner, then yeah. I guess I just think like that guy should, if he's teaching you, he should have more. I mean, he could teach you patience. That's hilarious. That is comedy, bro. He could teach you patience because he's so broke, you got to deal with it. I got to make all this money. This one's teaching me patience.

That's a good thing, though. Patience is important. Okay, but like I'm trying to figure, there's so many things like partnerships. It doesn't mean there's so many successful women with like men that are not making as much that it's like it works out. But I think a lot of men, you know, I think a lot of men probably maybe don't,

I don't know, a lot of men are not in tune with their emotions so they can't communicate it or maybe they feel as if they have to be the provider and that's why they're not getting into relationships too, because nowadays I feel like people are, yeah, it's like less and less. And then they also think that majority of women

expect so much designer bags or certain lifestyle, which a lot of women. Yeah, but a lot of women don't. A lot of women just want, man who is disciplined, who's hardworking, who's trying to be better every day, who's respectful, who listens. It's like simple things, but I feel like the internet is ruining stuff. And I, men don't approach women as much anymore. Like, they're too afraid to. Are you speaking from

personal experience? Because they might be like, no, not the hijab. Okay, I think the hijab, no, it's not only me. I'm talking about in general. I feel like men. Like, I thought I fucked up the other day, shaking your hand. Well, I mean, you took a picture like this. I was like, I had to, Hover your shoulder. Yeah, no, I mean, there's ways to do it right. But do you feel like enough, maybe social media ruined it? Social media has absolutely ruined the world. Yeah.

And the perception of everything. Because what do you think about, like, dating apps? I think every app at this point is a dating app. Like, Snapchat's a dating app. Instagram's a dating app. It's all just like people are using all of those things to meet. And to, like, people don't meet in person anymore. I think the statistics are crazy.

The amount of people who've met on the internet is like, it's jumped to like 80% of where anyone meets anywhere. Wherever it is, where it's a Tinder or whatever those apps are. But, um, yeah, it's,

I think it's all, and guys are 90% of the time just trying to get some ass. Like they're, but I also, you know, realistically, I think that's what all guys are doing. Period.

Anyways, initially, not forever. But initially, even if it wasn't a dating app, like that's what a guy's original intention is. Just for like, Like one night?

No, not necessarily one night. Not saying that that's their intention is just to have one night. But like, I think you meet someone, your first reaction is based on them physically. Look at them. You go, this person is attractive. And then you're thinking about that. You're not necessarily thinking, oh, she's such a good person. Like that's not the thing that draws you to that person.

Right. You know, that's the thing that keeps you in once you know. But the original approach is always like, you know, would this be good? you know, intimately, sexually. Yeah. Do you think that's the right way to look at things? I think that's the only way. And I'm not saying it's the right way.

I'm saying that's just, that's what it is. It's not, I'm not saying this is the moral right way. I think it's a, that fact can sit outside of the fact that no one anywhere in this history of the world was like, oh, that's person's ugly and unattractive to me. I want to get to know them better. Yeah, no. I definitely think that men have to, in order to be with a woman, I think, that they need to be attracted to the woman that they're waiting for sure it's going to be a sexual

thing yeah so that's not right or wrong it's just just human nature i believe and and then yeah all the other thing of course as far as the sustaining a relationship matters so much more but you're never going to avoid that that's the initial thing so then if you talk about the social media thing it's it's ruined relationships entirely because you always have this version of everyone else it is so perfect because they post the best pictures of themselves. And you always have this grass or greener mentality. And everything is like, if something's wrong here, you have all these other options here.

And then there's options everywhere options. But that's not even real. No. You know, just perceive that way because it's just in your face everywhere. That's for sure destroyed dating, destroy this, the family. Because everyone's just looking for what's next. Yeah, I think, I don't know if men cheat more than women.

I think men are maybe worse at cheating and women can hide it better. Yeah, I think that's a fact. Yeah. But I think social media has played a role in people just comparing consistently and that's probably what leads to maybe more divorces and stuff nowadays

is because everyone's like comparing online of like someone else's relationship. Who's comparing more then? Because it sounded like women were the ones initially in divorces. Yeah, I just think... I think women are more enamored by what someone else has, not that men aren't,

but in relationships-wise, I think they're more like, oh, is that good? That's better over there. She's getting that. Why am I not getting that? And then women get way more attention than men. Way, way more. Yeah, that's not even a debatable topic.

We can't even debate that. You know that's true. There's way more men in relationships than women, though. Wait. What? There's way more men. So they're dating dudes too? No, more women are single nowadays.

Yeah, but for a man to be in a relationship, he has to be in a relationship with a woman. Yeah. So then how are there more men than are relationships that if there's an equal amount of women that are relationships? No, I'm saying like more women are like ending up single versus men. But because it's easier for men to find. My brain is, it's, you're throwing me through a loop here. Okay, like men are, there, maybe women get more attention.

But there's also way more women that are single more. Like there's, there's way more single women. So it's like men are finding women. way easier than women are finding men. I see what you're saying. Because there's not a lot of, I'm not saying that there's not a lot of great men, but potential partners.

I think that women are starting to recognize their worth and don't want to settle. Not again, it doesn't have anything to do with money, but like settle for a basic, like great guy who will open the door for you, who will treat you with respect properly, listen to you.

I feel like it's so hard to find now. The basics? The basics. Yeah. Do you not think? I think it's because people are looking for way more than the basic because they're looking on the internet and seeing that, oh, all these other people have this. This girl has that in her relationship or she's on this yacht or she's on this trip.

And they're seeing that. And so like women are thinking, why do I have, why do I not have that? And she has that. I must not have the right guy. Even if he is respectful and kind. and gentlemanly and emotionally and emotionally intelligent. He just didn't figure it out yet, financially.

I don't think a lot of women care for a yacht. I'm just giving you examples. It's not just a yacht. Yeah, but even, yeah, I guess like anything. Just, just the perception of the grass is greener over there for her because her relationship looks like this because it's also on a pedestal because it's on Instagram. That's true.

And women, and when I'm saying, when I said women get way more attention, I think that's like a, that's an undebatable thing because it's just true. It's like, men are trying to pursue for the most part more than women are trying to pursue. And it's just sort of like for a man to be more sought after, he has to do so much more than essentially just be pretty because like we agreed earlier,

the original thought for a man to find a woman is like, is she pretty? That's number one. That's the first attraction, the first glance, I'm going towards it. But women is more like, what is this, what is this person's accomplishments? I think they care more about that. than they care because you even said like, or I don't even know if you even said, but I think maybe women aren't all like, oh, they got to be attractive. They're more like, what is this person providing for me?

And a lot of times a successful man likely would be perceived to have more of those other qualities that you'd assume that they would have just based on the fact that they have success at a certain level. So they're looking for a specific man. And there's a lot less of those specific men than there are beautiful women. True. man got it tough man so do women way tougher than

I don't know I love arguing this is so funny I know you're like women and no I'm not even like it's not even pro women you guys need a seminar you need a seminar

it's just too many choices nowadays too like do you believe in I guess like because you're 36 yeah yeah I'm 29 but go ahead yeah

yeah like when do you want to settle down Well, at this point in my life, I would love to be settled down. I would love to have a family and have a partnership and build that aspect of my life, 100%. So what's stopping you? I mean, it took me a long time to learn the things that I truly valued and truly wanted. Like, again, like I told you through trial and error. It took me a lot of time to finally find just more peace within myself, like even just as I am.

So that's what that's what stopped me. And then it's just trying to find something that works. I mean, obviously, like I said earlier, everyone is like at a different point in their life, what they know and what they find to be important or what they're working towards. And it just has to match, you know. So it's going to just,

that's the hard thing to figure out. Is it too many options too? Yeah. There was at one point. I think for me it's more so certainty. It's hard. It's hard for. for me to be certain about another person because I've been, I learned through my whole life that

the only person that I couldn't be certain about is myself and that other people have constantly proven me to be completely uncertain. And, you know, that's the thing that I had to overcome that I recognize that in order for me to allow someone into my life in a way where I could feel the best because it's never going to be certain, I have to like let go of the idea that like, I'm just going to be taking advantage of or I'm just going to have love loss and I'm going to lose it. I've come more to that.

It just took me a long time. You know, because I through the whole, I kind of talked about on your pod, like, it's not just the relationship things that I dealt with, but it's like the friendship things where people took advantage of you, the business things. So all these different angles where you're getting sort of like used for what you could do for them,

you keep building these like stronger and stronger barriers or walls to like avoid it. And then it makes it harder to actually allow it. when it's there. And so the certainty aspect of it is it's like me just surrendering to the idea that it's never going to be certain. And that's the thing that you have to let go of. And for me, that's just the hardest piece. So that's why I haven't figured it out yet. Do you want kids? Yeah, absolutely. I guess it's, I feel like it's different from men versus women because I don't, I want to say that women age quicker than men. But obviously we go through different things with

their hormones where like you can't have kids past the age of 40. But I mean, I guess it's like, I don't think it's the same for men fertility. Kind of is. They actually did some recent studies where like it's also harder for men like to have as you get older to have more birth defects and things like that. Oh. Yeah, recently actually. Like I think at a certain age like your actual sperm is less.

Oh, it's like, oh, less like less of account. Yeah. Well, that's, that just happens with time. But even the quality of it as far as like having birth defects and things like this, it gets higher risk for men too, not just on the women side of things. Because that's the more common understood is that like women, you know, have that clock where it's like they're 30 and it's like, GGs, you know, you better have had a kid otherwise you're going to be alone forever.

No, I think it's like 40, 40 for women. Yeah, 40, 30. It's not 30. It's all the same thing. You're almost there. Oh. Oh, I'm totally kidding. No, I know.

I'm totally kidding. But no, I know. It's like 40. Yeah. So it says like fathering children later on life, the fine fertility, elevated risk of genetic disorders. Yeah, that's what I was. Dude, I'm basically Google.

You have any questions. You could just ask me. Okay. I know this shit. I also just read way too much. Maybe that's part of my anxiety. You read? Yeah, it's crazy.

It's crazy. You actually read? Books and shit? Like, who does that? Wait, do you actually read? Yeah. What books? Recently.

What books recently? I guess in general. What books are you reading right now? Like self-help books for the most part. I read all the 408 Laws of Power. thing grow rich, all these different things. I've been reading, what's that book we've been playing on tape when we travel? It's another Robert Green book.

Hold on, it's right here on my phone. Mastery? No, no. Oh, this is laws, the laws of human nature. This book. Oh, I bought that book. I haven't listened to the audio book, but is it good? Yeah, it's cool because he gives a little like synopsis of, he'll tell stories and then he'll

give like a synopsis based on the story of what he believes, like his interpretation of it. So he'll tell all these different stories about different people throughout history who have, like, done certain things or succeeded or failed that things. And then he'll give you this, like, his version of what he believes happened there. I read the 48 laws of power. Yeah, that's a long book. Yeah, it is. I didn't finish all of it. I kind of like skim through it based off of, like, chapters and then choosing what chapters I like.

Do you read books? Yeah, I do like books. I love books. What book you're reading now? Emma Greeds. Start with yourself. Start with yourself by Emma Reed. Start with yourself.

Also this other book with the second mountain. Besides a Quran. Yeah, I'm just trolling on. I know. Yeah, the second mountain I also read too recently. That was really good. Second who? Second mountain.

Ooh, the quest for a moral life. Yeah, that book. I think it's the mountain within you or the mountain. That's the first one, right? No, this is called the second mountain. No, but the first book is the mountain is within you or the mountain. I don't know. There's a first book?

Yeah, there's a first book. Oh, I read the second one. Oh, I read the first one. It was good. Look at us. So is that the only kind of books you read self-help? Or do you like studying history? I'll read some history stuff too.

Okay. Yeah, because it's super interesting. But then it's like you read books about history and it's like, who wrote this shit? Who wrote this shit? I guess that's true. It's all skewed. It's hard. Like you read books about history.

It's like someone wrote it with an intention. So do you believe it? You believe parts of it. I don't believe all of it. Okay. So it's just like everyone. Isn't that the same? is like reading a book of like, well self-help stuff is like that's an interpretation.

Yeah, but history. And he's saying he's what he thinks about it. History is like, this is what happened and this is why. It's like, I don't know. I don't know. That's the same as like books, religious books too, no? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, I don't know. History is even more so is worse because it's just like. Yeah, it's like, oh, this is these guys were bad. So those guys were good. And then it's like, that's like the whole thing, good and bad, which was whose perspective. They thought they were the ones. They were like, we're doing the right here.

And it wasn't, you know, or it was. It's like the history is a little bit harder. But I like to know about things and what's happened. All right, guys, quick and enough for the podcast, just like I was talking on the pod about my van and about camping. In my van, I literally threw one of these Brooklyn bedding beds in the van. And the cool thing about the beds is that there's like copper infused in the foam. So it doesn't get super hot, which can be really helpful when you're out and you're camping.

And it's hot, super, super hot outside. It's very uncomfortable. You don't want to be hot also inside. So the bedding is like infused with this sort of copper foam. And copper is also good for a ton of things for humans in general. But the bed super comfortable, fits great in the van. I know they have all sorts of sizes from like twin to king, cow king, everything you can think of. You guys are looking for a new bed, a better bed.

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Let's get back in this podcast. But yeah, so I read more so books about like, I mean, I read books about like certain breathing practices, like meditation stuff, psychedelics and stuff. I like mushrooms and all that stuff. You actually like mushrooms? Yeah. Really? Like you do it frequently?

Yeah. Like microdose. Not like I don't take a bond. I mean, I've done that. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a whole like undertaking. But microdosing, I've really learned to love for sure.

Is that what, I guess, like, what is that experience? I haven't done. Microdosing or taking psychedelics, like, as like a... Because like, ayahuasca is like a very... I've done that four times. Four? Yeah, DMT. Is that, doesn't it, like, connect to you?

Like, why do people end up doing it? I mean, it's all, I would call it soul searching. I mean, it's like, it connects you, I would say, more to the world, to people, to yourself. The best way I would describe it is that like my experience in it, imagine the thing that you, you know, so, so like deeply in your heart that you really need to address, so you really need to look at, you really need to think about. And it, that drug specifically absolutely forces you like face first, all sort of ego, why you shouldn't or it should be the way you think, all that.

disappears and you see it for exactly for what it is. And it forces it like forces it right here and you can't avoid it. And it could be very uncomfortable. It was very uncomfortable for me multiple times that I did it. Like where you just wanted to stop. Very uncomfortable. Do you think you could have went through that like without doing ayahuasca like facing things? To that degree I don't think so.

But absolutely facing things. It would just would be more effort over time. Right. And it's not like you take ayahuasca and you're just like figured it out, done. Yeah. But it's more so like a very clear. clear you can't like it's almost like those thoughts that when you argue with themselves it's just there's no argument it's like oh this I know this needs to be this way and I'm avoiding it and I can't

avoid it in this in this time and then you get out of it and you're kind of like you you think about it maybe a little bit differently and then over time you sort of develop hopefully unique or different habits towards that resistance and so no I don't think you can do it without at that speed but over time absolutely I don't think you need psychedelics to to like look into yourself it's just like just imagine the window is like crystal clear

and you can't look anywhere else and you're forced to deal with it and so that's what psychedelics are like in general I'd say but microdosing is more like a general sense of just like feeling normal like you're just like oh this is good

everything's great like kind of gives you the sense of uh the sun is like really nice today it maybe makes you recognize the things that are like you know we might just think more insignificantly about we're not thinking about them all the time you're just outside and you're like wow look at the clouds like like that sounds like hippie do you think it's um do you think drugs are like good or bad I think psychedelics are incredible I think drugs I mean we're talking about man-made drugs Is psychedelics not a kind of drug? It is, but it's a, it's like a plant, in a sense.

It's also actually, I think, I think they said it was like, maybe this is bullshit, but they were like psychedelics. Like it's a certain ingredient in a psychedelics. It's, I don't even know how you would prove this. That is something that has existed like a hundred million years before Earth, like as if it came from the stars. Okay. That could be bull.

Yeah. Because like, well, how do you believe that? Like how? God, you know? I guess it's like, but can people get addicted? I don't know if that's true. I just say I read that. Can people be addicted to psychedelics?

I don't know if you could really be addicted to psychedelics. Not like you could be addicted to like an opioid or something like that. That's a real physical addiction where you don't have it like your body can shut down. But like dependency on something to make you feel. I don't think you have a dependency on psychedelics. I don't think that. Can you Google that? I don't think you can create a dependency on a psychedelic. Really?

Psychedelics is like shrooms. Mushrooms, LSD, acid. Most definitely. I don't think you can create a dependency on it. LSD? Yeah, I do not think you can Google it. I really don't think so. I feel like people enjoy that kind of,

because it takes you to like another dimension, right? Enjoyment is something that's different than an actual, like, chemical dependency. An opioid you could absolutely develop a chemical dependency on because of the way it functions in the body. Yeah. I mean, you're going to have someone who's like, I just want to take drugs all the time. Like, that's not the right way to do it. And you want to treat these things with intention. Like you're trying to figure something out.

You're trying to understand. not like I'm going to take this because I want to get high all the time. That's not the goal. Yeah, but you're not creating, they're not creating like physical addictions, like alcohol addiction is a real thing that if you became such an alcoholic and you stop, your body literally could like shut down. I see. It's a real physical addiction.

Yeah. I guess it's like anything that, do you think like anything that alters your mind is good though? Like, do you think anything that alters your mind? I mean, having your mind altered, like we talked about just a second ago, like, could you accomplish the same thing over time? Yeah, you could. Yeah. I think it's the, the idea is like you're getting sort of like a boost. I don't know anything that alters your mind. I mean, because it's like why, why do you need something to give you a boost?

To learn faster. To understand better. Does that really have an effect? Absolutely. Yeah. I guess if you have the argument, I don't know. I think like anything that alters my mind, I like to just stay away from it. Does it religion alter your mind? No. It doesn't. I think it alters your mind. Like physically alters your mind.

Like actually puts you into another dimension. Yeah, but it doesn't do anything your mind can't already do. That's the thing about psychedelics. It's really interesting. It's not like your mind. The weird thing about it is your mind is already capable of all of those things. It sort of opens your ability to perceive it. But LSD, doesn't it like create?

different effects to the brain. Like there's people that experience things, scary situations because of the LSD. These are things that are existing. Right, but it's like heightening it. Because there's like so many negative experiences on LSD or stuff like that. Yeah, but they're not like life things

where you're like I'm dead now or something. It's not like ecstasy where you're creating like physical holes in your brain from taking too much of it. It's more like you're altering your perception of your life for sure. Yeah. Like you're seeing it do a clear,

clearer view. But that's what I'm saying, like, that religion is mind-altering in a way. Because even how we talked earlier, if you didn't take the drugs, you spend time, you learn, you understand, you look to, you ask for guidance, you ask for help, you read a book, you understand more, you're altering your mind, just not in a, you know. And this is different than taking like some pharmaceutical version of one of these drugs or some of these drugs, like that's human now made and created. Like these things aren't, they're not synthesized. They're not created by. like some human that wants to make this effect.

Yeah, I guess it's like... I mean, acid, yeah, but... Yeah. Acid is. It's like heightened. Isn't acid the same as like LSD? Yeah, but it is synthesized LSD. Oh. Yeah, I don't know.

I still don't think it's the same. Reading a self-help book and comparing it to like LSD. No, it's not the same thing. Yeah, I know altering your mind in a different way. Like anything that can have... Create situations that are not actually there. Let me ask you this. What if...

There was a drug you could take that would completely allow you to understand your religion. I wouldn't take it. You wouldn't take it? No, I wouldn't take it. Even if you knew you can get all the answers. I feel like I have all the answers. Do you? Yeah.

I thought earlier said you're still trying to figure all this stuff out. No, I don't know everything to the, I don't know. I'm not a scholar in my faith. What if you knew it? I'm not saying this what psychedelics do, but I'm saying what the, theoretically, if there was a plant that was growing somewhere and, what's a, what's a, I don't know, right near the, right near the mecca, right, right near the black box and it was just growing there.

And you were just like, yo, these plants do this thing. And it's like, would you not be interested? No, because I don't want, I don't want anything that alters my mind. I don't want to know. Interesting. I'd rather just figure it out. Yeah, and stay. Because I feel like I've spoken to people that have had an experience.

It's a very PR answer of you. I respect it. I respect the PR answer. No, it's not even a PR review. I would tell you straight up if I like wanted to take. Yeah. No, but because I've, you say like natural things, right?

Because marijuana, that would be the same. Yeah. But yeah, we've also like did up because we've made it more powerful. Like it's not as it. And it's not in its nature. Like most marijuana that people smoke now, unless it's like homegrown in a specific way. it's like juiced up right but even even if it was natural it's like giving you this feeling of being

high but god made it yeah but god made dogs should we kill them well that's what that's too completely separate no it's not killing something and and taking like eating a plant okay like eating dogs right why is eating cows okay people eat dogs there's a lot of people around the world who do that but do you think that's right i wouldn't do it but people do it i know but it's like it's there should be Those were starving. They had to do that shit. I mean, that's not, that's terrible. I think it's terrible.

Yeah, I think eating dogs is terrible. But it's like, how are you supposed to know what to eat and what not to eat? Like, I go back to faith. It tells me, like, what I can't eat and what I can eat. What if in your faith it said you could eat this. What? Drugs? Mushrooms.

But most religions are not going to say that. I wonder why. Because a man wrote it. You who created mushrooms? God. Yeah, but it doesn't, it's the same, but that's the same with animals. They would say not to eat animals. But religion say you can eat like a lamb and meat.

Yeah, lamb's really good. Wow. I feel bad for that sometimes, but it's so good. Yeah, I just, I guess it depends how it's cooked. That's interesting, though. I feel like you would have took the, I would feel like you would have took the religion pill. I feel like right now on the pod you say no. I wouldn't have taken the religion pill.

Because, because I, like you got all the answers. I have all the answers. No, you. Yes, I do. You said you don't have them. No, no, I don't have the, I don't have the, I don't have the way to explain it. Like, I don't, I wasn't there in that time. What if you had the way to explain it?

What if you were just like, you knew it? You got it. Then you would have wrote the next book. No. I would, I have the answers in terms of like, I know my faith. Like for all we know, those people back then writing all the books, they were eating mushrooms. Oh my God. This has been fun, man.

How often do you do podcasts? How often do you post podcasts? I've been starting, um, since like, February or March. That is something you want to like focus on now? Yeah, for sure. Definitely. But I've only uploaded like maybe 12.

How do you get your guests? You just like reach out to people? Yeah, my team or I will just like DM. How do you know who you want to talk to? Just like different people from different walks of life. Like being able to sit down and have a conversation with you. And like why is you have me on your podcast? I feel like I'm so left field of your podcast.

I just feel like you're cool like to have a conversation with. And you're so open to different topics. And I feel like it's, I don't know, it's range and it's, it's unique. It's different. Oh, thank you. That was sweet of you. Yeah. That was very nice.

Yeah. I think you're good at podcasting. I think you'll do really well. Thank you. Yeah. You just recently started uploading on YouTube. Yeah. The podcast.

Yeah. Because before it was just fitness related content, right? Majority and mindset. Do you have any tips? You have to actually like enjoy it. I do enjoy it. If you don't, if you find yourself stopping, like, the enjoyment of it, it's just going to be.

You don't feel like you have to do it just to get like a deliverable done or something done and it's going to suck. I enjoyed this one. Like I wanted to do this one after having done your podcast. I was like, oh, this would be fun because I find you very interesting. It's cool. So, yeah, as long as you enjoy it, that's, I mean, that's the key with everything and success in life. Otherwise, you just have to do it and it becomes a chore. And then everyone reads through it and they see it, especially in a long format, they'll just know it.

But if it's genuine, you'll be great. great. And I think you're genuine. Thank you. Sure. You come across that way. Thanks. Any last words? Should we keep talking about death? No. Is there, no, I'm kidding. Is there anything else you would like to tell your audience? If they made it this far, they'd love you. Or they'd like to hear me ramble on about stupid things. Um, maybe don't hold me accountable for everything. I don't know, like if I messed up on things. I don't know. I think I, um, I guess I just like fear this is such a different way of podcasting for me and like being this open and raw. And obviously like in Islam, it's like if you're a hijabian stuff, you represent the faith. So I think it's like, I don't know

just like sometimes you fear judgment. I guess do you care about hate ever? No. No, I don't care anymore. I did for a very long time. It would bother me. And I would try to like make everyone happy, but that's just the stupidest, most useless, futile thing to do. Like, it will never work. And it's interesting from your case and your perspective, like the specific religion thing and the hijab and all this, like, you're like destined to get, like, I know from having spoken to other creators who either talk about a specific religion

or this or that, that people are hyper vigilant, like, oh, you're doing this wrong. You shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't talk about this. But I don't know. I just feel like that's silly. It's not like you're maliciously doing something. to be bad or to like make anyone look like a bad light.

But at the same time, it's just, you're just human. We're all figuring this shit out. And I think the more you show that, the more successful you'll have. And the more happier you'll be. The happier you are, the more you can give it to other people. So I wouldn't worry so much about that. And that's for me, talking about hate, like, you just learn you can't. You literally will not get everyone to love you.

It doesn't matter. And that's not the point. the point is just like okay who does support you you're there for them and then the people want to come who hey hey and then eventually like they learn to love like i can say how many times people be like be i used to hate you and your content and no i listen to this pod i really love it man it's like that's a i love those backhanding compliments it's sick it just doesn't matter like we're not here to make everyone happy you're never going to make everyone happy you're also never going to be happy all the time so whatever just live your life and

trying to do good. So you're doing that. You care. You care enough to even preface the conversation. Like, hopefully I didn't do anything wrong. You're fine. You're good. You did great. Thank you. I wish you much success. I think it's cool. There's more people like you that are sort of stepping into the content space and like just really standing for something specific instead of just following, you know, whatever works for someone else. Because I think you probably got a lot of hate for like originally doing the whole hijab thing because people are like oh she's doing this and it's probably performative and it's you know grifting or all these sort of things you would hear but it's after talking to you long enough it's it's very obvious that like you're just it's true to you

thank you and it doesn't matter what they say come thank you so yeah every tuesday i love you guys subscribe to the podcast um show her love she got like a bazillion followers on instagram i also didn't know that till she followed me um congrats by the way Yeah, yeah. You too. We're out of you. I love you guys.