RAWTALK - US Military Navy Seal & Special Ops Tell War Stories & Explain The Keys to Success

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

0:00 intro 0:58 being in the military, introduction angel and mike 5:05 how they found themselves going to the military 7:44 the training going into the military 9:06 what it’s like being in the military 11:51 the fear of going on a mission, but also feeling like the scariest dude alive 13:13 how often does a mission end in bloodshed 14:37 angel gave a kidney to one of his teammates wife 17:12 putting your life on the line and not being taken care of 17:59 starting a company to have a home for vets 20:54 feeling like an outsider 22:11 the need to normalize behavior 25:14 having that PTSD moment from the military 30:57 how many people have angel and mike lost 35:36 something that stood out to angel that still effects him 37:48 what keeps Angel up when he is up 41:30 dealing with suicide bombers 50:32 have they ever felt bad for killing other people on missions? 51:30 mike expressing how they stepped up for their country 53:46 angel and mike's perspective on how the US Govt. moves 57:59 will politics ever change? 1:00:25 feeling questioned on servicing the military 1:03:49 angel explains, what happens when you donate a kidney 1:09:46 what gives angel and mike the most purpose now 1:13:37 angel and mikes opinion on being alpha on the internet 1:26:10 takes trust and believing yourself for this world 1:27:04 mikes take on how the internet is on how it got you there 1:28:47 what it takes and how we have lost ourself as a country of being the best 1:31:12 experiencing failure 1:33:37 brad expressing what his dad allowed for him to do and his success 1:36:54 respecting entrepreneurs 1:38:09 why are people afraid of failing 1:45:42 the internet being fake 1:46:04 passing on the message to veterans

So what's, what's going on, the figurines, do you collect this? Yeah, so I'm just a big nerd, so I just got like a bunch of things that I like were kind of from my childhood that I like watched and, you know, grew up fucking loving. Yeah. You know. That's awesome. Some Halo, Dragon Ball Z stuff, some Gundam. Warhammer, World Warcraft. Are you a nerd?

You into any of that stuff? I got some Power Ranger stuff on my house, Ninja Turtle stuff. Just like that. I got older and I'm like, now I can buy it. I swear, man, that's like the real, like kidding me. when I started buying this I was like oh because I remember when I was younger it's like you couldn't just buy whatever I wanted right buying this is like was so fun to just pick everything and be like I want it I want it I just wanted some I just wanted something to spice up the studio a little bit yeah

yeah so before we get into it though guys can you both introduce to your to the audience uh you know what you got who you guys are what your names are and like what you guys have done uh at least like the duration of like your time in the military and yeah have we started yeah we started We started with you talking about that. Awesome. That's how I just start. Come on. Oh, my God.

No, no, it's easy. Super easy. I'm Mike O'Dowd, and I'm the founder of Defense Strategies Group. We are a training company and security company. The training company, we teach everyone from, you know, soccer moms to secret service to, you know, military. Tactical training, self-defense training, mental toughness kind of stuff. The things that we did in the military. Before that, I was a Navy SEAL for nine-a-half years.

Holy shit. And deployments to Iraq, Afghanistan. And started this company a few years back with my dog here, Angel. Yeah. And we've been running ever since. Awesome. So you as well, yeah? Yeah.

I'm Angel Cortez. I'm a former Army Ranger. I deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. I specialized in explosives when I was in there. So I've blown up everything from homes to cars to weapon caches that we find of the enemies, you know, weapons, you know, to my favorite thing, which was bombs. That was my job. It was to find the bombs that they would place for us. And, you know, I blew up a lot of those.

But then, next to you know, I mean, almost a decade had passed by. It was time to get out. Went to school for a bit. and to be a registered dietitian and literally on my last semester of going to school for four years, Mike was like, hey, man, if we're going to, if we're going to,

I need another full-time guy, if we're going to make this happen. And I believe in Mike, he's been like a big brother to me. And I remember that night, I was nervous, but I'm telling my wife like, hey, I know being a registered dietitian

starts off at 90 grand, but I'm going to quit. And I'm going to do this because I get more of a sense of purpose teaching and passing down my knowledge to, you know, law enforcement who are still in in the mix, military who are actually in there, my time is done, and then to civilians that want to be able to protect their loved ones of themselves.

So I get more of a sense of purpose doing that. Right on. Well, I appreciate you guys coming. I want to say this is definitely different than my normal sort of podcast. Normally I have like some social media influencer or some athlete or some sort of figure. But I wanted to say before we get into it, I have tons of like the utmost respect for what you guys have done. And thank you for doing that for me and pretty.

much everyone, actually everyone watching this who's not, you know, from, let's say, a different country, although I think it all kind of helps the same sort of, I don't know, same sort of category of people overall, but I just want to say I have the utmost respect and I appreciate you guys for what you've done and for putting your lives in sort of those positions that I know are very, very foreign for 99.9% of people. Yeah. And before we kind of get into it, yeah, I just wanted to say like that. I want you guys to both know personally that I really appreciate you showing up and speaking with me and sharing with me

what we're going to get into right now. Can I cut you off a quick? Yeah. I just want to say I believe it because you actually put your money where your mouth is like a lot of people say thanks for your service out of like habit. Like a social norm is like, oh, thanks for your service. But I met you at the Seal Future Foundation event, like you and your company coming there and supporting.

And so, you know, anyone watching, like, you actually do support veterans and veteran causes, things like that. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't, dude, like, I wouldn't have the luxury to live the life that I live if it wasn't for, you know, our military straight up. I mean, I know the sort of power that the United States has is pretty much based in its military, which leads me to a bunch of other questions that we'll get into. And I want your guys' opinion on this stuff. But before we do that, I want to know how you can go, whoever wants to go first. But how did you find yourself at, like, at what point in your life for you, like, I want to go to the military? And also, because you were a seal, you guys, the two part for you.

It's like, how do you find yourself going in that direction, which is, as far as I understand, extremely rigorous and, like, very specific? So kind of how you were like, yeah, I'm going to do the military. You know, for me, I don't know if I ever. wanted to be specifically in the military as a kid, but I was always playing with G.I. Joe's and run around the house with like Rambo face paint on, which was why it was cool. We got to meet Slice Stallone the other day and like train with him and his daughters. And it was like, dude, that to like show them how to, we were doing something for the TV show.

We were like putting him through a boot camp. It was really fun. But like meeting him, I was like, you may be the reason I was in the military, like watching him. Full circle. full circle. Yeah. And really awesome guy. But I, um, when I was 13, I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel of Navy Seals. And I remember saying to my mom, like, that's what I'm going to be when I grow up. I was 13. And then to, to realize that at, I think I was 24, 23 when I went in, 24 when I made it, it was pretty cool. It was pretty cool. Like, I always found myself being the protector of my friends and my family, my group. So then, you know, when 9-11 happened, I was a senior in high school. Yeah. And I just felt so freaking vulnerable because I couldn't do anything

about it. And then I remember going, like, well, there is something I can do about it. I'm 18 now. And 18-year-olds can join the military. And I didn't join at 18. I went to college, but I don't regret that part. I just knew, like, that's who I am and that's the kind of person I am. Yeah. So, like, if not me, then who? That's what brought me into it.

It wasn't, I didn't want to be in the Navy. I didn't want to be on a ship. I didn't just blindly want to serve, which is totally fine. Like, for me, I had a specific purpose, which I saw these frogmen as the most dangerous, badass dudes on the planet. I was like, that's what I want to be.

What does that process like? because everything you ever hear when I hear about Navy SEALs is like it's the most rigorous the hardest thing to get into the hardest thing to succeed at to even be like accepted into and to pass the sort of testing yeah it's really challenging like Angel and I were discussing this a few days ago is like our training is so hard and so different like our physical standards are probably the hardest in the world but then also we get to eat food like I'm eating three square meals a day and during Hell Week they're constantly feeding us. Angels training, he always talks about like going on these marches. I'm like, man,

all you guys do is fucking walk. That seems so easy. He's like, yeah. And then we didn't eat for like three days. We get like a cracker. And I'm like, that sounds awful. I don't know if I could do that.

I have to eat my food. I get a low blood sugar. So I mean, it was, is it the hardest training for me? Yeah, It was fucking nuts. Are we allowed to swear? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. It was nuts. It was nuts. But what are they training you for? They're training you to do some of the craziest things on the planet and not be afraid, you know, or to limit your fear and just go forward with the mission. So the training has a full purpose, you know. It's not, it's not random. It's completely designed and curated for the end user, which is the guy going downrange.

and killing bad guys. Yeah. Fuck. It's such a different lifestyle. Obviously, I chose something completely different. What is that actually like? Like, to be in, you know, confrontations and to be looking down a barrel and to be knowing that there's probably barrels looking back at you.

Yeah. What does that actually like? Because, yeah. Angie, you want to take that? Yeah, you know, it's. you want it you know and I too often I hear like civilians be like oh man it sucks that you know you had to go and I'm sorry or I'm sorry that you had to go and I think more of us needs to say like I want it to go like there's no reason to say sorry like I got what I wanted you know once you're

there is it you know you can only use your imagination as much as you can but when you're there it's the real deal it is that I've never been so high in my life I've never felt so low in my life and you know firefight after firefight if you're you know surviving which we were it's hard not to feel a certain way about yourself like you are a warrior and you know you're angry and you're skilled and it's them versus me so I'm worried about my teammates and I'm worried about myself and but were you scared I mean, everyone has moments where they're scared, but you're not really scared during it because your training kicks in and you're doing your job. You know, maybe when you're home and you get to, you know, unpack everything, maybe that's when things start turning.

But, I mean, it's hard to explain, like, how you feel when you're on mission. Everyone is under nods or like night vision. No one's talking. You're going to his house. You're waiting for this guy to come out as a. vehicle, I mean, come out of his house to go into the vehicle. As soon as he gets in his vehicle, you come up and you arrest him and you're like, bro, like, this is like real life. Like, this is like, it's like, call of duty. But all these have, all those thoughts happen after it's

happened. No. Because like, it must be so much like in the moment you're not, you can't be having that. I mean, I don't know, but I'm imagining you're not like third person thinking, oh, I'm doing this right now. It's almost like, like reflex. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, 100%. It's all reflex. I'm focused on my job because my teammates need me to do my job and if I don't do my job yeah I can get hurt

but even worse one of my teammates can get hurt because I was slacking Yeah there's a few moments Where like let's say it's settled down And you stop and you look around And you go Fuck like

This is a group of bad dudes Like I'm on the right side right now And I think the feeling that The word that came to mind Was like Apex Predator you're not like oh gosh you know what if what if you like you get nervous and there is fear based in going on a mission no doubt um but there's there's these moments where you're just like dude we we are the scariest people on the planet right now and there's this rush of like

nothing can stop us and uh and you know the moment like something crazy cracks off you get out of that mode and you're not like nostalgic anymore and you're not thinking about it but there are these moments where you look down on night vision you see a row of dudes walking with their guns out and you're like each one of these guys is a savage and they're on my team and uh we're about we're hunting people right now that's fucking my entire my entire iraq deployment was night raids just hunting targets so every day we would get a target they would say this is your guy or your people tonight. Here's where they are. Here's how we're going to go get them. And then at night we'd go out and get them. And sometimes you'd get them. Sometimes you wouldn't, but you were always out just

hunting. And sometimes I'd, you know, afterwards I'd put myself in that guy's shoes and be like, I bet this motherfucker has no idea. He's going to sleep thinking like everything's cool. And then a group of dudes kick open a door or like sneak in the house and just like rip him out of bed. How often does that end in bloodshed? I think it's totally dependent. I've heard crazy stories, you know, some of the fiercest gun battles. My Iraq deployment,

there was no, there were no firefights. It was just every time we went into a house, they were asleep, the doors were open, or we'd kick them open and, you know, get the people very quickly. So it was like, okay, well, that's not going in and shooting people in the face.

Yeah. Because those are the stories, I always hear it's like, this is the craziest shit. Yeah, but it's still the craziest. It's just like in a different way, you know? Yeah. And then you'll have an Afghan deployment where there's shots going off

and there's, you know, dead bodies or people getting blown up and that's savage in its own way. It's not sneaky. It's not like cool. It's just raw and nasty. But it's all like life on the line. You know, you and your boys just like trying to stay alive.

Yeah. And I think that's how like veterans and soldiers develop this like bond, this closeness is because it's just you, man. Like you're representing America, but you are alone. Like you and your four dudes or you and your 10 dudes, like whatever that unit is. Yeah. It's just you against the world at that moment.

It's interesting because when he, before we got on camera, he came in here and told me because he had used to the restroom because he says bladder is super, super like hard to hold. Yeah. Because he gave a kidney to. someone who's part of your unit or part of your team yeah uh to his wife yep yeah she um so one of my teammates uh i could tell something was up you know uh with him and you know you know you're close friends when something something's bugging him so i asked him i was like hey you know benj

like what's what's going on and he's going on nothing and i knew he was lying so now we're passed by and then i was like bro like what's going on like it's in your face man like i can see it and And then he just laid it all out. You know, I knew his wife was kind of sick, but I didn't know what the situation was. And then he's like, you know, she's about stage five kidney failure. She needs a kidney. I try to get, you know, give her a kidney. I'm not even O positive.

And as soon as he said that, like, basically stop hearing everything else he was saying because I was like, I'm O positive. And it was just, it seemed like an eternity where I was making this decision. But in reality, it was probably like a split second. And I was like, hey, I'm O positive. I can give a one. and you kind of like brushed it off and I was like no man I'm serious yeah so then I you know I did the testing you know for eight months going back and forth to UCLA medical and a year and a half ago I gave with Kenny yeah so that's the thing like that sort of like camaraderie and loyalty is just

is so different yeah in that space and from that space when people like who are really in it and I just find it interesting because it's just such like oh such a different even though you're a human just like me you you operate sort of at a different playing like a different level completely different level of like sense of loyalty to the people that have been there with you and i feel like just you know when we start talking about america and stuff in general i just makes you feel like not that like every civilian should be thinking like that or acting like that but like we've kind of lost it seems like a little bit of like our sense of pride in in america i think like overall people are afraid to be like i'm fucking

american and i'm proud to because of whatever the fuck's going on in the world and the misuse of this or misuse of that. And it's interesting because whenever I talk to people like you, obviously I'm like, wow, these people have put their lives literally on the line so that I could live the life that I live. And, you know, when we started talking about veterans, you mentioned that as well. And it's like, I look at that situation like here in L.A. I know there's tons of like homeless veterans and even around that veteran memorial

where like I think there's, I don't know how many acres of land that like could be used for, you know, people who have been in the military, who are now out of it, who are like trying to figure out their lives or homeless. and it just seems like such a misuse of humans that have put their lives on the line for this country that are not being taken care of the way that they should. And it trips me out because then I look at all the stuff

and I'm like, you know, I pay tons in taxes and fuck that, I hate taxes regardless, but like I'm just like, what's happening with the money? What's happening with all this is like billions and trillions of dollars? But the people who put their lives on the line for our country are like at some point seeming like an afterthought. And you clearly got out of it, and you guys were like, hey, let's do this together.

But not every single veteran is going to have that sort of like know-how or tenacity to start a business that's kind of revolving around what you've done. And there's a lot of people that I just think are just kind of like forgotten about. And it's kind of fucked up. Yeah. No, we started the company with like a two-prong approach. It was like first, we want to have a home for vets. So whether a vet just needs like a quick paycheck or just, need some community like we bring guys out all the time to help us like teach um come out and

help out like in any way they can uh because i know when i transitioned it was just proper fucked um everything around my life was like falling down and there was no community there was no there's no more brotherhood everyone i looked to was like these corporate greedy fucking people not all of them some of them were like great great people but there were so many backstabbers and in the teams we filtered all those guys out and everyone would take their shirt off their back to keep you warm

and I missed that so much and I saw so many veterans struggling myself included but like I saw so many guys and like men of like the highest character great human beings being like calling me in the middle of the night saying I'm thinking about killing myself and I'm just like

fuck like how many other of those guys are out there if these are the ones I'm talking to. And then we started posting videos and guys would message us like the same thing. I'm really struggling Mike, like how do I find a community?

So we try to like make this community, whether they work with us or not just build this community because I really do feel like bridging the gap between you and your experience, him and his experience. You don't know

what he's done and he doesn't know what you've done. but to bridge that gap and now even though like 1% of people serve now you can understand him and he can understand you and now we've bridged that gap so we have this common experience

and this common knowledge and then he doesn't feel like an outsider and want to off himself sometimes get tough there's this really good book called tribe Sebastian Younger writes it and he just cites all these examples of people who go to war like Kosovo

these full towns the entire community went to war so when they all come back are they all fucked up and the answer is like no one's fucked up yeah nobody has PTSD and you're like well how's that possible they saw a horrific war because the difference is is much smaller of the group yeah they come home and they all experienced it and if we've all experienced it

like when we're all hanging out as veterans we have no PTSD we're just like boys we're hanging out and then you separate it and you're with a family or you're at the grocery store and people are acting like weird or different and you're like, oh, I'm different. Yeah. That's such, I could, damn.

Because I, obviously, I'll never be able to speak or, like, really understand that. But what is, what is that like the, because it's, I'm assuming it's, like you said, from the separation of the norm. It's like you feel like someone of an outsider because of what you've done or what you've experienced or what you've seen.

And it's, you can't really relate to someone. Because all people really want, and humans in general, they just, they want, like, one of the most basic things that humans want is to feel like they're part of something, like a community. And if you're someone who's done something or been a part of things that are so outside of, like the norm, then like, like you said, it's so interesting when you're together, it's like, oh, this is normal. But obviously you guys can't spend all your days together.

So it's like, how do we, how do we create more things like you're doing, which is fucking, it's beautiful, man, because, I don't know, I just, I, I kind of wish there was more from our actual military or government that did more to create that sort of camaraderie continued. It's just kind of like, you have to do it, which is, you know, I guess it's a blessing and a curse at the same time, but I just think more stuff like that needs to happen. Because I've had, I've heard so many stories. I've talked to tons of guys about it.

It's like the same thing you said where it's like they don't feel normal. It's because they're not in the grand. scheme of things. Yeah, yeah. It's a very abnormal thing, right? To go to war is not normal. It shouldn't be normal. But you got to normalize the behavior. So you have to like reintegrate guys back in a society. But I think the best way to do that is to reintegrate them as a community, not as like the token fucking veteran. Like, oh, stand up. Thank you. Round of applause for the weirdo over here. You know, that's not the way to do it. Yeah. I think it's beautiful. The thing you've, like you said, having them be a part of the sort of education for, you know, the normal person

or maybe on set helping someone do something in regards to like firearms or something because that's what they know and then they feel integrated into it. Yeah. I guess it's just not, there's not that many opportunities. So how do you create more opportunities in that space? Well, I think hopefully the system changes, right? But until the system changes, you know, we have to do it ourselves. And there's a lot of good companies and foundations out there.

and, you know, like SEAL Future Foundation is a great one where they network with each other and stuff like that, but maybe not everyone's a SEAL, you know, so when I got out, you know, I was in the outside, I was killing it because I was competing in Muay Thai when I was still a ranger, right? Active duty ranger and still competing in more Thai on the side. And when I go out. So who was in a street fight, me or you? Huh? I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. You guys are about the same way class. I'm kidding. I'm fucking around. I just when you said more times I decided how to throw that question I don't mean to interrupt so I'm sorry

and so when I came back to SoCal I was like man I need to find a gym I found a gym classic fight team and I started training out of there and I was going to school getting A's and B's and the outside I was killing it I'm getting A's and B's

you know in shape that I'm keeping up with pro fighters I may not have their fight IQ but I'm keeping up punch for punch push up and all that but it started creeping up on me and I realized like man I miss my brotherhood and missed the community

what do I do so then I and that's actually how I met Mike I started my own community and I was like hey let's all hang out let's do this let's do that and within it started off as hosts in the UFC fights on my house and me saying hey I'll buy the food

and the beer everybody just come veterans from my school veterans from my gym and we do that next year you know we have a small group we have a community, they start networking, and then I would see them not only hang out, but work together on this or that, because not everybody wants to do shooting stuff when they get out, right?

Maybe they want to work on computers, or so they want to work in cars, and these gatherings became network opportunities, and that's how we help each other out. And there's a lot of companies doing it out there, and when civilians support what we do, it allows us to do more events, it allows them to be like, hey, man,

maybe you won't find your new job here at this event, but maybe you'll find a friend. Yeah. And it often leads to like some sort of opportunity somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. So have you like, have you either both like answer this whichever way, whoever wants to go first,

but have you had any experiences like outside where you felt like the PTSD, like outside in your life, outside of obviously the circles when it's a good time? Like, and what is that like? He's just like the idea of like you're walking somewhere and you just think something bad's going to happen? Yeah, look, I think PTSD is something that everyone has, but because so many veterans have it, that it's predominantly associated with veterans. I have a service dog, right?

I've trained her. She's a badass dog. And I walk around and I'm a fit dude. I can crush most people in workouts. And people see the service dog. And I have good friends who have been like, you don't need, that's not a service dog. And I'm like, bitch, you don't know what I go through. It's, I don't, I'm not missing a leg.

Yeah. I'm not, uh, I'm not all fucked up in the head. But every single night, every single night, I wake up five to seven times in a night. And I clear my house. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I clear my house five to seven times in a night. And I think somebody's breaking in my house. I'm not sleeping.

I'm wide awake. It's not, oh, sleepwalk. sleeping terror, you know, I've had people like, you know, my ex trying to like throw that as, you know, oh, he's dangerous. I'm wide awake. I'm, I spent a year, not a year, but like seven months capturing people out of their beds at night. And I think that's probably the reason. But every single night I wake up five to seven times, like, and I clear my fucking house. Armed or unarmed, doesn't matter. Like, I think somebody's breaking into my house. And so, yeah, when I lay in bed for eight hours and I sleep for like four of those hours and people like, oh, you need a service dog. I'm like, yeah, because I need a dog to warn me if there's a real threat or not. So that's, to me, that's PTSD. But how it manifests and everyone is just different, man. It's different for everyone. How you see one car accident is different than how I see that same exact car accident.

damn that's gotta be that's fuck that's waking up that much is crazy i do that just because i think for my nothing to do with guns or clearing my house but i'm just the the competition and the training and eating crazy i'll wake up in the middle of night to try to eat something oh shit but it's a completely different reason it's not as cool it's not as cool i go to the fridge i look at the fridge like twice i'm like uh nothing i should eat right now it's like if i've had too many edibles i wake up and i gotta go eat yeah that's nuts though man that's that's that's fucking that's also really hard on your health waking up that much yeah it's i mean i've been dealing with for years and it's like i don't

that's not a disability that's just another hurdle you have to get over but you know people people handle PTSD in like way different ways i'm curious like with angel but i have friends who it it goes everything from like outbursts to nightmares to like feeling uncomfortable and crowds and that's that's that's that's pretty minimal like if you can be in a concert and you feel uncomfortable i'd say that's a pretty pretty good way to have PTSD but you know we train women in self-defense yeah and a lot of women who come to our classes have been raped you know molested sexual assault whatever that is and they are dealing with their own trauma and when we fake kidnap them or wrestle them to the ground and try to strangle them

to like simulate an attacker, you see just like the streams of tears go down their face and they're reliving whatever they went through. And then afterwards they come up to us and they're like, that changed my life. I feel better now. And because you're also helping them learn how to go through that if they ever needed to,

I'm assuming as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, man? Man, I don't know what it is, but some about my sleep you know I was

one of the psychiatrists I was seeing she was like asking me all these questions she's like oh you know are you can you not be in crowds I was like I was like no I can be in crowds you know at the time I was like I just went to Omnia in Vegas I was fine you know and

they're like what about like fireworks I was like I'm the guy in my street shooting the mortars you know like I'm fine the bomb guy yeah you know but some about my sleep man I um I tense up my lower body just like flexes and like my arms will flex and I'll twitch and my wife and alia would like I can sometimes feel her up or she'll tell me like oh I'll just rub

your stomach and then you until you like stop tenting up um and every now and then man uh uh you know I wake up crying I wake up crying and and it's never like oh this day or or or this or that what it is is it's not necessarily scenes but it's the feeling of feeling helpless that I can't do anything for my dead friends even though for for half of them I wasn't next to them but I was there with them and you know I just it I can't help it man it's some somebody it's in my sleep but you wait you see me at school you see me at the gym you see me at work you're like this dude's fine but something about when I close my eyes yeah Yeah, fuck.

How many people have you lost? Oh, man, over a dozen. I mean, you think you get out and it never ends, man, because you're out, but your boys are still in. Like, for example, the last American who got the, if unless I'm mistaken, who got the Medal of Honor was Christopher Salis. You know, he was a 175 Ranger. That dude was my section leader.

you know so when i'm out here living my best life you know he gets killed i was his number two so you know it's hard not to feel a certain way when you're like bro like you were that you were supposed to be there you know so i mean i've lost easily close friends like super close friends over a dozen and we're talking about they were 18 all the way to like 30 you know when you know Pinnick was 18, he had just turned 18. First deployment is blown up. You know, and I'm like, bro, we were having kind of silent at my house before deployment. You know, now it's weird when I come home and what am I supposed to tell your wife?

Yeah. Fuck, man, I can't even. Like, I've been through some shit, but nothing, nothing in my adulthood where I felt, I felt like I could have had power over it, so I couldn't even relate to that. You know, obviously, I lost my father when I was young, but it, you know, I've accepted it now and I couldn't have power, no power over it, but I couldn't imagine the feeling of being old of age, not old, but being of age to have had any power. But obviously, you weren't there, you know, in some of those situations.

And you couldn't have changed it, you know? I can't even imagine trying to fucking rationalize that in my mind, especially probably after building the sort of bonds that you build with the people that are like also protecting you and making sure you get home safe. So it's just such a, I just feel like this stuff needs to be talked about more, man, because it's like, it's such an important part of this country. And like, again, the reason why I'm able to have the liberty to do what I do and I don't even know what to say, you know, it's thank you is the best thing I could say and talk to you guys here is the next best thing

that I could probably do to help spread any sort of awareness but it's that's fucking that's tough and and you know I appreciate having having the platform you know to do this and reach more people and it takes it takes people like us like Mike and I

being open about it to let other people feel like hey man you know what it's okay to feel this way it's okay to do this and that and if you know what they're successful too then I can be successful in my own way, whether it's through architect or engineering or whatever. Like I can, I can still be successful after the military, right? And, you know, like I just had a guy reach out to me. He was a Marine, got out, and then he went to go to Ukraine, and he lost his eye. And he came

back. And he's from a hometown. He's like, oh, dude, I found you on Instagram, that you were from here. You know, you want to grab some food? And I was like, Yeah, dude, they fucking come in me in my box, the gym. And he shows up, he doesn't have his eye. He, you know, he lost it over there in Ukraine, obviously not under, you know, being a soldier in the U.S., so that he's got bills, he's got a cover on his end. And when we were talking to him, when I was talking to him,

after lunch, he was like, dude, he's like, I have everybody, because this just literally just happened a year ago. Yeah. He's like, out of everybody I talked to, you're the one who gets it. Like, you're the only one who's told me it's okay to, to feel how you're feeling he's like because he lives kind of next to digital land he's like dude when their fireworks go off it it i feel a certain way and i'm like bro that's normal how can you not i think it'd be fucking weird if you didn't if something you didn't have anything um but hey man

it's i told him it's it's not going to be easy you're gonna have to put some work but you can have a successful fulfilling happy life you don't have to lose yourself in pills you don't have to lose yourself in the bottle or you don't like how many of our friends have done it and and other people out there you don't have to fucking blow your brains out yeah and obviously it means a lot more coming from people like you've done it who've been there who've experienced it um you specifically what what have you done that you think that like in in their act of service that you i don't know i guess not i guess you don't wish you could have undone it but what is something that really stood out to you that

that still affects you. Like within my service? Yeah. Because there are any any like experiences that you had that like you're like fuck you look back on and you're just like damn. I did that. I was a part of this. I was here. Yeah. You know

how aggressive I was to be honest I mean to kind of change the mood you know again I wanted to go. I wanted to be tested. I was the first one in my family of me born here right? My family I came here to have a better life. We were born and raised off food stamps. And when the country was attacked,

I was in sixth grade. And I remember being in sixth grade and thinking, I wish I can do something. Because the country that's been helping my family and I, with all these, you know, with food stamps and all these other programs, is in trouble. And I felt like it was my duty to now protect the country. So as soon as I was 17, 17 and a half, I signed.

I didn't think I was going to make the war, but I did. So when I went, of course, I also wanted to be tested and I didn't want to, you know, freeze or anything. So when I went out there, I was super aggressive. I, you know, gained their respect of dudes who had been in the special operations community for like 15 years. You know, when me being the newish, you know, sergeant, when someone who's been in for 15 years is like, hey, on this mission, I want Cortez with me. You know, you're the new guy and they want you right next to this. them you clearly have something going on right and i'll get messages you know from from my younger

guys to be like damn dude i used to think you were like super hard on us and and you know and maybe i didn't like you so much but i get it now like i i get it dude like you you just wanted us to come home and you know you wouldn't fuck around on the side and you were you were for us you seemed like you were a little bit too serious but i get it now I get it now. Yeah. Is there, are there any things, like, there are any stories or any experience that you had that were just kind of like,

I don't know. The thing, like, what keeps you up, like, when you're up? Oh, so, oh, man, I, stories I got for days. Because when I was fighting, man, to be honest, I thought it was normal. I thought everything that I was doing was normal and everybody was doing the exact same thing since I've gone out. Dudes who I've deployed with have now. written books given TED talks um you know been on fox talked about this talked about that

and uh you know when you're inside you don't brag or talk about missions you just you just come back and if you move to another unit and so on so on like you don't say hey i've done this or that so i just assumed everybody had done so much um you know my last diploma we made national headlines three different times for what um Um, for the first one, or one of them was, we dealt with two suicide bombers in one day. Um, you know, another one was they tried to, they try to overrun us. Um, and, and, and some, you know, some dudes got hurt. Um, and then the third one, I, I, they said we were, we were being too aggressive. and the president of Afghanistan at the time said

all special operations from Wardak need to leave because they were making claims that we were killing civilians and there was missing people and this and this and this and that and everybody we killed supposedly was innocent right and the civilian and so on but you know like so we lived in this valley right

So we didn't live in a big base. We took over a house and we lived in the valley. And the teleman's flag is a white flag. And they hung this huge white flag in the middle of the valley. And that's basically a middle finger to us, right? Everyone in the valley sees, they know we're there. And they hang this huge flag in there. And we thought and we brainstormed, we're like, hey, should we drop a bomb on the flag?

Should we drop artillery? Or should we send our Afghan commandos to go get it? And after talking, they were like, you know what? You know what we're going to do? In the middle of the night, we're going to go replace that. So it was about two kilometers away, right? Straight shot. And it was about a small team.

Myself and the senior Charlie, which is like the explosive guy for that Special Forces team that I was attached to, we were going to clear up to it. But before we got there, or we're like, okay, anything that shines or makes a sound, like you got to take it off we're going to be small we're going to go inside and we're going through all the homes we're going in their neighborhood all the way to the top where they put the flag and we replaced one of one of our own flags and then a night came back and then we got woken up by RPGs machine guns and I remember one of my friends laughing as we're trying to cover take cover behind the wall you're like do you think they found the flag and and that

that was the beginning of fighting season so a lot of people don't know is that fighting season there's a there's a fighting season in afghanistan it gets so cold that guess what they don't want to fight we don't want to fight so winter time for the most part is like off season one spring hits in summer it's on so that happened in springtime and from that moment on i mean we dealt i doubt with multiple suicide bombers what is that like someone just walking up like trying to be cool and Yeah. Well, yeah. But so for that particular day, again, we were leaving it in this house that we took over in this village, right? But we would have to get supplies. And sometimes they would literally air drop us, parachutes full of ammo and full of food. But sometimes we would just drive to this local army base that had more supplies. Yeah. So as we show up about five in the morning, the Taliban do like to do a lot of complex attacks in the morning. And I remember we're.

We're ratchet strapping ammo, our mail, you know, that our loved ones sent to us. And there's a huge explosion at the gate. But this small base had two entrances. And we usually go out of, you know, the main one. And I'm like, hey, man, that's at the fucking gate. And as I'm on top of the truck saying, yo, that's at the fucking gate. I felt the biggest force I ever found in my life.

I ever felt in my life. I fucking got pushed off the vehicle. My face was in the dirt. I looked up and two of my teammates were already running. I get up and my vision is like not super great. And I don't know what the fuck just happened. I know I didn't die. So I could grab my gear.

And what had happened was the first explosion that I saw was a dude walked up to the gate, acting all normal, blew himself up to allow a dump truck to go in. That was another suicide bomber. So a vehicle suicide bomb. And then he drove in and fucking blew himself up. So I had a GoPro. And so I actually have this video and shared it online. I turned it on as we started running down to the hole. And that day, 91 Americans got hurt.

And because it was so, that base was close to a bizarre for the Afghans, like a little market. Right. A bunch of Afghans got killed, too. So when we go down there, you can't even tell where the base begins and where it ends. And I didn't know this at the time. I'm walking over body parts.

I'm walking over arms. I'm walking over foot, feet, like everything. Yeah. And we're like, dude, what the fuck? And there's wounded people fucking everywhere. Like civilians, locals as well. Yeah, locals and Americans. And so I look around and there's only eight of us.

So it's only eight of us that went down to close the fucking hole. And we're waiting for Taliban fighters to start coming in or whatever. We're trying to medevac everyone that we can. If I remember correctly, we took all the available airplanes and they sent it to us. And, you know, by the time we got it secured, walked back up, I remember I was like, you know, I'll take a shower. and as I'm taking off my boots man there's like pieces of flesh in my shoelaces and I remember just looking down

looking at it and just leaving it there I just hopped in the shower and I just stood there for like 10 minutes trying to process everything that I'd just seen because when I went down there one of the first things I saw was this mom holding her child and they were dying slowly

so when the if the explosion doesn't kill you the force is killing you already internally like your guts are fucking mush your brain is mush you're dying slowly and there were so many people moaning very low moans and groans because they were dying slowly you know all the arms

and stuff and the smell the stenches in your it's in your nose and you're just hearing bird after bird taking Americans and you're like dude that's another guy that's another guy or how many people that can fit in those birds And, you know, again, I'm like, dude, how am I still alive? Like, we've been in so many firefights.

We've had so many close calls. I don't know how many, I don't know how I didn't get killed. Like, my own guys would be like, dude, I saw dust kicked all over you. I would feel bullets. There's a, there's a sound you hear when the bullet goes over you. You're like, ah, that's over us. And then something that's close. You're like, oh, shit, that was close.

I felt him where you feel the fucking force coming from your side of your face. and it like stings and you're like I don't know how I didn't get shot in the fucking face I don't I'm still alive again you know now I'm back in the shower thinking all this and that's just another day that's just another day and that's not even the worst day that that happened there when I was in Afghanistan you know shortly after that we as special operations we don't always rule with big teams sometimes it's small teams. Sometimes I've rolled out.

You know those Polaro's razors? Yeah, of course. The two-seaters, we would mount machine guns on the side of them, and we would only take out four. So that means you're only out there with eight dudes, right? So one mission, we were out there. I think it was maybe like 12 guys. That's not a lot.

And we start taking heavy contact. This is a complex ambush. Sometimes people online would say, like, oh, I don't know how the Americans lost. the Afghan war, you guys just got beat by a bunch of stupid farmers. It's like, were there farmers that were shooting at us at one point, yes, but we would

face, like, foreigners. Like, imagine all the countries around Afghanistan, all the countries that in would stand, like Pakistan, Turkestan, all that, whatever, they would send people, and we knew when we were fighting foreigners because they were

trained. Trained. And then that particular time, we knew they were in the area, and we knew they wanted to come after us and within less than 15 seconds we had three of us down and I'm hearing, hey, the Zulu's down Charlie's hit

the fucking Echo or the Fox whatever it was but I remember thinking like dude and I'm counting okay we were what 12 maybe 15 deep that's one two three and you're like dude what the fuck is going on That's in 15 seconds to lose three guys

And still have to fight your way out And I was on the 50-count machine gun And I was just shooting and shooting And I was low on ammo So I had to start shooting my grenade launcher And I would shoot it from inside the vehicle I would tell my Afghan turd be like ready Have my grenade launcher

Open the door and I would fucking shoot it I would shoot my grenade launcher From inside the vehicle to provide some type of cover because I know my guys outside have to what medevac and patch up the dudes yeah so as we're as we're going back to our house that we had um we have radios that intercept their their communications and our turp is saying hey they're laughing at us they're talking shit and and this and this and then now he's saying you know that the uh how did you guys like that attack and stuff like that and you know days like those obviously it's kind of hard to feel unstop

to feel unstoppable because you're like fuck dude they just touch three of our dudes that means they can maybe touch me too but it was funny thing about that is because two days later we went on our mission and I'm not sure if it was me or my friend Jack we killed

the winter commander that was there in that valley they tried to do a complex ambush again and obviously if you're going to command and control an ambush in a road in the mountains of Afghanistan you need a bird's eye view right um and i remember as we're in in this firefight and and none of us are

hit so far i see my my friend jack reloading and he's is he's shooting at this at this house that was there's not a lot of two three-story houses in afghanistan this was a three-story house and that's where the winter commander was at so i just started to fucking firing my 50 cal in there and our turp was like hey you guys killed the winter commander which sounds like it's a big deal but i mean that's just the dude who was in charge of the valley, that particular valley in of dozens of valleys in Afghanistan, which I felt great. But the other day, they had just hit three of our guys. So I will say that, that no matter how many we killed, you never really felt complete

because you're like, they killed so and so. Yeah. It's such a, it's kind of hard for me to wrap my mind around it. And I think probably most people listening. But I guess my question to that is like At any point do you feel bad About the whole thing Or you just because you know you knew you were doing it

And obviously they're doing it to you Yeah You know like at that point man To be honest Nothing fucking matters Like not even the country That you're doing it for Like nobody in the U.S. is going to help you

Nobody This is why one of the things that I liked about war I said dude I fought right next to dudes who had degrees, didn't have degrees, that were atheists, that were Christians, that were black, white, Asian, none of us gave a fuck about that. We cared about what can you do for your team?

How much do you love your team? How much can you put in, you know, for the team? That's all we cared about. So did I feel bad? Fuck, no. Not at all. Mike? Man.

Absolute same. I don't, there was nothing I did where I feel bad on it. And by the way, I'm not trying to, don't want you guys to, I'm not trying to say you guys should feel about it. No, no, no, no, I'm speaking to at the moment is some of the fucking, like, cucks online who are going to be like, well, these guys are war criminals. And, uh, you know, I, to those people,

I just say, like, you know, at least we stepped up, you know, we did something and we put ourselves in, in the arena and damn the politicians for fucking us over and putting us in wars that we probably had no business to be in. But the soldiers, man, if you back, Mouth, a soldier, you're a special breed, and I would love to meet you face to face, you know what I mean? Like, these guys give their lives, and they give up their youth, and they give up their futures to do something that they believe is right, which is serve America. And, you know, of course, we elect turds all the time. Bro. Oh, my God.

But don't take it out on the guys, because the guys are trying to stay alive. and any of these people online who, like, critique how you did something, how aggressive you were, they've never been there. And it's like their opinions aren't even, it's not even like, I don't care. It's meaningless air. It's valid. It's invalid. Yeah.

100%. I mean, that's, the climate that we're in right now is just so interesting. Like, just America in general. And like, it seems like every time we get closer to some sort of election, it's like, oh, there's all this stuff going on. It's weird because, you know, on a on a really ground level, the guys, you guys, the people who have experienced, the people who are experiencing it are, you know, essentially just like, I don't know, like being used in obviously they're willing and they're able and they're trained and

like that's what they're there for. But to like, you know, in ways that like, I don't know, like was it all necessary, you know, because I feel like we, as America, I feel like we get into a lot of stuff that, like, we don't really need to. And it's like, I don't know, what the fuck. I just, I guess me, the government, like, I have so much fucking respect for the military,

for the men and women who do that. The government and the way that they kind of, like, go about these certain things are just so, it's so interesting to me. And I guess from your perspective as, like, living it, being in it, being able to talk about it, what's your perspective of the way, like, the sort of U.S. government moves as far as, you know, military action.

Let me jump on that real quick. Because I also, so in Iraq, I had this, like, amazing deployment where we were doing targeting and taking out pieces of shit. And then in the Afghanistan mission, we had this mission that was just, it felt like you were buying time until we pulled out, quite frankly. It was just go meet people, survey the area. and, like, report on it. Like, I could do that with a phone call, to be honest,

and a flyover. But I'm going to give you two missions, one I was personally on, and one my sister platoon went on, just to give you an idea of, like, how fucked the government leadership is of these situations. Yeah. First is the one I wasn't on

where my sister platoon protected a group of, this is in Afghanistan, protected a group of Chinese surveyors for mineral rights. in Afghanistan. Okay, so let the online forum blow up

for that for a second. Chinese surveyors come in to collect their proceeds because the Americans were too chicken shit to like rape and pillage, right, obviously not rape, but like pillage the land.

Like if you're going to go in and invade, invade and reap the profits. Instead, we're like, oh, we don't do that. We're just here to stabilize waste lives, waste money, and give it away to other governments.

Number two, this one I was personally on so I could speak to it. A warlord who's since been blown up by his own people was somebody who I would talk to on the regular. He was very prominent, very wealthy. He was on the payroll of three governments, America and two other, like, we'll just call them, like, Western countries.

This guy was making millions of dollars a year. from these countries for what uh for giving uh giving support so i don't breach any kind of like got it confidentiality he was giving the government support these government support he had like a house in switzerland his kids went to private school and this guy was just like a you know a like very wealthy dirt farmer in my eyes but he wielded an army of people this dude like just to be clear He wasn't on our side, though. No, he was an Afghani, and he was, like, by all means, a murderer, but he murdered the guys we wanted to be murdered.

Not just my team, like the entire country. And this guy, our leadership sucked his dick so hard that they wanted to keep him happy. So we went on a mission to give him ice cream. We drove out of the base with a five-gallon jug and the command master chief and the commanding officer of the Navy SEAL teams

were like round up the boys let's go and they got us armored up ready to go and we had to drive out call like a mile or two off base to go deliver this guy ice cream and meet with them and look I sat in those meetings I was an intel guy there was no information being processed it was just to fucking shake your hand

and rubber balls in the same time give him ice cream keep them happy and I just thought what if we died on this mission? Like what if my boy got blown up on this? I would have to tell his family that we were serving ice cream to a warlord. And those are just like two examples that I can give the people to say

like, it's not the soldiers, man. We know how to go out. We know how to kill people. We know how to like affect change. It's the politics. The politics are so bad. and there's so many people tying hands of the of the boots on the ground it's like let us let us loose or don't have us there at all yeah it's like what like so that's my question he was like

do you think do you think that stuff will ever change do you think it were just it's like a it's almost like a game with people's lives like that ice cream shits it's like what are we what are we doing that for yeah i mean there had to be some obviously there was obviously some benefit for them to be giving money and taking them fucking ice cream for them to do it. But like, it just seems, it just seems a little backwards. Yeah, very, very much so. I think, you know, my opinions on the wars are very, very jaded. I think once you've gone to war and you see behind the curtain, you're like, wait a minute,

this isn't for the country. This is for like politicians and specific people's interests and business interests. And there is potentially a greater, um, war going on that you're trying to like move chess pieces around but we are very very well-trained pawns yeah and that and that's that's what it comes down to man is we are highly trained badass pawns when when we're serving yeah i just like i wonder if like we like will that stuff ever change will it be just more purposeful and not that it wasn't purposeful but like like will we ever stop doing shit like that we kind of again i don't know enough of the whole circumstances to say

we don't need to be doing it or not but do you think that like america will ever come back around to like just like straight purposeful shit or are we just kind of like loss in the sauce of control and power and money because that's when you talk about the chinese thing it's like what the fuck is that about it's like what are why are american lives being used to like garner the Chinese government. That's way above. Yeah, no, I know. I don't know.

It's just frustrating when you're over there and you realize how many people died for potentially not a lot. They died for their brothers and they died for the ideal their beliefs of like this country and how great it is. But what's actually behind it all,

maybe it's hot air. Maybe it's just a belief system. And that's sad to think about. Yeah. That fucks me. I'm just hearing it. Yeah. It's just, yeah, man.

Fuck. And, I mean, these are the type of conversations that veterans are having, you know, with themselves, you know, within their own groups and internally. And to them, you know, I say, if you feel and you question your service, I mean, it's only, I think, natural to do it. And I think it's a healthy thing to do it, you know. So you can work through it instead of, you know, not knowing what to feel. Yeah. And if, but I always tell my guys, like, look, man, we did our job. We did our job.

And it's not our fault that the politicians pulled out. And it's not out of Afghanistan like this or they did that. Like, we don't make those calls. Don't feel bad. You know, and if I say if veterans do feel bad, no matter what you know they don't see it like the way I see it like hey we did our job and they feel cheated from this opportunity to do good

I would say look into maybe being a living donor and and I say that because right before I was going to donate a kidney one of my friends who who I went to Iraq with he called me he's like hey I heard you were going to donate a kidney and I was like yeah he's like hey I donated a kidney too and I was like dude what the fuck like when he's like three years ago and I was like oh shit man like I didn't know that and um he's like you know you asked some

questions this and this and that and he said something that at the time I didn't like he said you know you're doing you're doing something great and I'm more proud of my kidney donation than my service and I'm very proud of my service so for him to say that I was like I didn't like that I felt like that was wrong but after donating the kidney I see what he means you know because I feel, you know, proud, if not more proud of donated to kidney than my service. Because with the kidney donation, I knew, there's no doubt. I helped, right? People joined the military.

They want to help. They want to be tested. And maybe they got cheated off that. They feel like they got cheated off of that because of politicians. Donate a kidney. And I met someone recently who was a veteran and did that too. so he told me what I just told you but for himself and I was like dude

that's how I felt like when I donated a kidney I couldn't believe that I was actually maybe even more proud of my service but that veteran particular I'm sorry I'm forgetting his name he's one of those that said to be honest man I got out and I felt like I was used I felt like it was for nothing

why did my friends die and I donated a kidney and it brought me more center I was kind of a loose canon and he also does Jiu-Jitsu so he said the kidney donation and entering the martial arts world helped him out so much so

if you're feeling like that looking to doing something like that you just need a sense of purpose is what it seems because that's got to be the challenging thing after like that was your whole life or your whole sort of purpose is you know acting in this sort of unit

for your government and then obviously the connection of like well was this really truly purposeful and then that questioning and then obviously in a situation where you're donating something like that where you know for sure this is this is essentially saving a life yeah and uh well i'm actually really curious what if you donate a kidney what happens to you so fuck man does that affect your like your life span well it doesn't well if i do if i do everything i'm supposed to do so when they ask me they're like hey are you sure you want to donate have he looked up the, the, you know, what's going to happen?

And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't look up shit. I just wanted, I just wanted to help. Dude, we were trying to, like, he just jumps into things. He's like, I'm going to give it up. And I had to, like, I wasn't trying to talk him out of it, but I was trying to show him, like, dude, this is a real thing. Like, you have to be 100%. And he's like, yeah, I'm good. I'm like, you're not good.

Like, I felt like I was talking out of it. I didn't want to. I'm like, dude, you, this is bigger than you think. and, you know, he's a knucklehead. He's just like, no, I'm doing it. But then I, just watching his transformation once the kidney was out of his body, like, dude, it was hard to watch. Because for the longest time, like, he's always been a beast and a monster.

And you just see him then, like, he can't even bend over and pick up like this. He's just like, ugh. His wife's, you know, walking him around, like, showering him and stuff. And you're like, dude. And it took him. months and months and months to get back to like even normal um so i think for me just as a friend i was like fuck dude that is it's no joke yeah it was hands down probably i've been to ranger school and ranger school is tough you know i did the rass which is a selection to be in the 75th ranger

regiment fuck i went to war and hands down the the kidney donation recovery and i'm not saying this to scare people off. This is just the reality of it was one of the most mentally challenging things I've done because I was so scared about the surgery, like the donation part. Yeah. It was the easiest part because I was asleep. So this entire time I was so scared and worried about fucking, oh, the surgery, the surgery. And I'm like, but I was asleep. So that was easy. Then you wake up and I felt the worst pain I ever fell in my entire life. I was crying asking for for for pain meds but even but before I asked for pain meds the first thing that came out of my mouth was how's Larissa which that's her name yeah Larissa and then you know I was

in the hospital for for two days and they take me home and and they're like hey you know um you can't lift anything more than 10 pounds and then you realize okay I can't pick up or hug any of my kids I can't um you know almost everything that you actually need to do day to day Hey, it's more than 10 pounds. I can't drive. I can do anything. Dude, I couldn't even shower my own self. My wife had a, had to come in, shower everything.

Everything was so bloated. I could put my whole, go to my second knuckle of how much everything was inflamed around there. Yeah. And, and then, even then, like, the doctor was like, hey, you got to walk. And I would walk two houses to the left. And back, and I was exhausted. I was, like, exhausted more than I ever been in my entire life. And then, you know, the pain meds were kind of helping, but I didn't want to take more than

I had to. So I couldn't sleep because of the pain. I couldn't move, you know, laughing or shit. Even trying to fart hurt so much. You know, I'm like, fuck. And it's in, you're like, how long of this has already been? And you're like, oh, it's only been a week. You got 11 more to go.

And when they give you the green light It's not even like okay I'm running My strength condition coach was You know coach lou he's very smart And he knew exactly what to do And he he's the one who fucking Put the brakes on what I wanted to do I want to fucking go and he's like no we got to build you up slowly

He's like here here's these 10 15 pound weights And I'm thinking I'm gonna move up real soon That 10 15 pounds killed me And you know I try to go for our first run And you're like dude I don't feel right and the surgeon told me hey it's going to take you about a year year and a half for you to feel like yourself and i remember thinking like bro that's weird i'm me i'm going to feel like me and and i knew what it means because you're taking the kidney out and your body's trying to

figure out what's going on and then you got the green light to work out and you're trying to work out like how you used to yeah like come on it's trying to function period it's fine imbalance all over again 100% and actually i did almost a year and a half i'm 18 months now right so yeah so but the a year and a half mark is when I actually started feeling like myself. And in the beginning stages, man, the pain, the not be able to put on my own clothes, but being vulnerable because I didn't like that. I didn't like that. I'd be like, dude, if somebody he brought up in my house right now, I have to lay in this

bed and just take it. Like, I can't do anything. He could not do that. He's based on his story. He's like, a seven-year-old can kick my ass right now, you know? but none and less like I know that's not a good pitch still like yeah that's not a good pitch

but it's purpose it's purpose like it's that's the thing is like you're I mean it's not a normal person that goes hey I'm gonna go like pick up change my entire life and go and fight for my country like not everyone is doing that that's not a normal you know like they used to have drafts where it's like

you have to come do this you guys willingly were like I'm gonna do this and that's not like an average human thing to do like most people want to be safe and they want to be comfortable and they want to be good and it's like their whole life evolves around that so obviously you guys are outliers in the sort of you know the human world of community right and and again i kind of want to i want to figure out now obviously you guys are doing the the outreach you guys are working with veterans what gives you guys the most purpose now obviously you know giving the kidney up

meant a lot to you but how else do you guys continue to find purpose i um what we do with our work is everything like angel kind of alluded to this but when i got off of the team and moved into an instructor role i was teaching at buds which is like the schoolhouse for for navy seals and that's where i really found purpose not that i i had immense purpose in the mission but i started to feel um a little bit like illusioned uh i felt i felt lied to about what we were doing. I know bad guys need to be killed, but it didn't feel like that's why we were doing some of those things.

It felt like we were there to just like sit and hold space. When I started instructing, that's when I found great purpose, man. It was like taking a group of guys who are just ready to go, like alpha, like apex predators, and they want to learn from you. And giving them these skills so that they, can go downrange and use them they can go around the world like this force multiplier i felt like

i was like raising this army of guys who were going to go do good for the country whether or not the politicians send them to do that good but they are ready to do good yeah and then when uh when i got out i lost that purpose for a while i was working in in the corporate space and it was like this this isn't who i am and it's not to say that people shouldn't do their own jobs but like you got to do service to something bigger than you, whether that's have a nonprofit or volunteer your time or, you know, just help others. You can't, if you're just in it for yourself, man, kind of like, go fuck yourself. Like who, you're, you're adding nothing of value to your community, right? Yeah. You have to give back in some way. So how could I give back? Well, I didn't have a dime to

my name and I was like, you know what? Let's start teaching people how to defend themselves. so we've got these skills and I you know we could train police we can train military and we do that and I feel so rewarded for the opportunity of that but I get a ton of satisfaction at a training like everyday people like guys like you like hey I want to come learn at a shoot you leave like some guy brings his wife out and we teach her to be confident in defending herself that's so rewarding when we have these women come to the self-defense classes and they're bawling because they're experiencing this and they're overcoming their trauma to us. That's why we do this.

And man, that feels so much better than going down range. Like the excitement's not the same. I would love to go down range, but the purpose is greater. It's like we are helping, not just hurting. And that's what keeps us going.

And that's why we keep driving this. It's like we just want to keep training people and making them feel, confident and have these skills that everyone should have. Everyone should have the capability to defend themselves. Absolutely. Right? The less sheep and the more, you know, if you want to say sheepdog or wolves, I don't care.

But like the less sheep out there, victims, the better. Yeah. It's weird. We've gotten to a place where like the victimhood is like the fallback. Like most people just defer to that instead of like try to create a circumstance where they could feel more empowered. Yeah, you know, and it's just like that, that's something that, you know, yeah, I hear it all the time. I mean, just internet stuff, it's like, you know, the conversations about being alpha or being a pussy and all this stuff.

So what's your, what's your perspective? Like, do you watch a lot of stuff on the internet? Do you see, like, social media people, like, yeah, I think we're on the internet a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like to admit that. It's fair, it's fair. So what's your opinion on like the sort of a manosphere of like people talking about alpha stuff and, you know, being alpha, what it means to be alpha? I want to ask you because obviously you guys

I would say the definition of it you know sacrificing yourselves what's your perspective on like what it is to be truly alpha are you asking me because you think I'm the alpha of this guy I'm asking both you no both yeah yeah yeah I love the competition's hilarious

that's good though look I was actually thinking about this exact question I don't know why I was thinking about this on the drive over but it was the topic I was thinking of sick that's dude I nailed that then let's go 100% man this this is what I love is like people there's this misconception of what an alpha is people think the baddest dude in the room is the loudest guy the biggest guy right and uh

and sometimes it is especially when he's 260 it's like yeah yeah right like a big bodybuilder types right but but but but but but but and this isn't a dig at big guys it's not a dig at small guys this is what I saw putting guys through training the baddest guy in the room is usually the quietest. There's no affiliation with size. There's no correlation to like how he acts, how he talks in terms of like chest beating.

There's none of that. There's none of this like talking about how cool he is, talking about how badass he is. I tend to be the mouthpiece for the company, so I tend to talk a lot. And I think sometimes people go like, oh, he, you know, he's, he's uh he's badass he's badass and while i try to be badass i shoot i fight i do all these things

like um i surround myself with fucking savages and they don't talk about it right like they don't they don't go around beating their chest they put their head down every day and they just grind one of the most savage guys we know uh it was just his birthday the other day the guy is one of the best shooters black belt and jiu jutsu crazy fighters crazy fighter trains with knives all day long and the guy's a librarian and he's he's watching this right now hopefully and he's laughing and he probably feels like humiliated because other people will know who I'm talking about you got to bring that book back on time yeah but that that was when I got out of the teams I thought oh Navy SEAL badass aren't not Ranger about none of that is

necessarily badass because I know some guys who are in those groups that aren't that badass they're tough. But the alpha is the guy who quietly trains, the guy who's the protector of his family, the guy who respects other people around him, the warrior mindset, right? The real warrior mindset, having humility, having high character integrity, having those like human characteristics first, being good people. And then on top of that, that they have these amazing skills and that that is an alpha and we spent a lot of time in fight gyms training and you'd be surprised how many truly badass guys are at walking these streets who wear a suit and tie every day like Superman they don't they don't have beards

they don't have freaking guns and holsters and kits and all this stuff they they you know call myself they just drink like vanilla lattes and like go on about their day but they they understand the savagery. There's a time and place to be violent, but that's such a small window of your life. Yeah. You have to be ready for that. You have to be ready to fuck shit up and take down bad guys. Otherwise, like, are you even a man? Like, if you're not capable of doing that, that's a defining characteristic of a man is being able to, like, stand up and defend. But if you can do that and be highly educated, like a go-getter, a businessman, and all these other things, a great a great father, a great husband, all these things.

If you can do all of that and be badass violent, I think that's the alpha. Yeah, absolutely. What's your perspective on sort of internet personalities that speak or, like, talk about being alpha? They suck. They all fucking suck. And, you know, because I'll see a lot of them and be like, dude,

like, okay, I don't really know who you are. And I'll look at the page or I'll look at it. And I'm like, oh, you're just a good talker. You just have a very nice way of putting words together And most of them are kind of big Right, but I'm like, you probably don't know how to shoot And you probably don't know how to fight And then some of them

You know, like One of them We just put some people to training this morning And we basically did it for free meanwhile there's companies out there that are charging these people which shows me that there's a calling or a need for people

for normal men to want to be tested they'll charge them like 15 grand 18 grand to do something I've seen shit like that and they're just yelling and yelling and be like bro you don't have to be little somebody to make them physically mentally stronger

you don't that's not how you build people up like I've literally seen this yeah you're talking about yeah and there's multiple companies out there and all these dudes who are fucking public speakers, and I'm like, bro, what is your, what is your history? You're talking about mental toughness. You're talking about, you know, physical fitness or being, you know, what is your

background? Oh, nothing. Well, it's almost like the conversation is, I'm tough, look at me, I'm tough. I could speak well. Yeah. And that's why they're even considered alpha without any sort of like actual backbone. Yeah, yeah. Which is interesting.

Or their, you know, their title was Navy SEAL, Green Beret, Army Ranger. 10, 15 years ago. And it's like, what are you doing now? Because I was a Navy SEAL. I got out in 2017. So if I want to keep talking about 2017, you know, at some point, we're going to be at 2030, 2040,

and I'm still talking about 2017. It's like, what have you done now? I'll speak for both of us on this. We're better shooters, better fighters, better warriors now than we ever were in the military. because we just every single day keep that going. And when I see a lot of these guys online

kind of spitting this like, you know, that's not how we teach. And good on them. They have a great business model, but like, if you want to be hard, I don't need to yell at you. I just put you in some cold water at night and just stay silent

and let you go through the worst pain of your life. And that builds you up. I don't have to call you a piece of shit. Yeah. When you come out of the water, you're like, oh, my God, I survived. And now you feel better about that. So I think it's, they put these salacious headlines out and it looks cool in the internet and they get a lot of followers. And that's, that's fine too.

But I look at the guy first. Because sometimes you look at them and you're like, that dude was a fucking turd in his platoon. He wasn't even a good operator, you know? Yeah. Look at the people and what they're doing now. Yeah. And it's also like there's a lot of people in this space who, It's almost as if, like, their sort of claim to fame about being alpha is just that they're alpha.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To sell the idea of being alpha because I'm alpha, but like that's their claim. Yeah. Without, like I said, without the backbone, it's an interesting thing that happens. Like, you know, a lot of people, you know, certain people sell things and it's like, like a self-help thing. And like, oh, this is how you get success. This is another example.

And it's like the only reason why they're successful is because they're selling the thing to teach you how to be success without having success. without having success prior to selling the product to get you successful. Yeah. It's a crazy thing on the internet. Then people just, because they see it or because it looks flashier

because they got followers that people jump in, they go, this guy knows. Yeah. And it's weird. We're actually just entering this world. And like, for example, because Mike, Mike is not so out there like I am.

Like when I said, all they all fucking suck. Mike is more professional. Dude, he, we were, we were training these millionaires, right? And to be physically, mentally stronger, we're putting them through LNAF exercises and team exercises. No yelling, no nothing for three days. And Mike just gave like an opening like, hey, this is who we are.

We're going to learn and grow together. We're going to do A, B, and C. But I need you to push yourself. Trust us, right? And at the end, the millionaire was like, dude, we just paid somebody like $67,000 to talk at our conference. And what you just said right now for 45 minutes was way better than the stuff this guy said. And that dude was just one of those, like, you know how you become mentally tough? You know how you fucking do this?

Yeah. But that's all he sells. And, you know, now I do public speaking. And another millionaire that we trained was like, hey, man, you mind speaking at our conference in Canada? Long story short, man. I grew up physically mentally abused. I was poor, you know. Then I became a gang member.

And then, you know, I realized that was wrong. And I took myself out. I'm a big supporter of my family My community I do a lot of work in my local community And I gave my my little Story that I do And the guy was like

Dude can you tell that at the conference Like what's your rate? And I'm like I don't have a rate I'm just doing this to help you out You know I'm not going to charge you Fucking 80 grand or whatever For like the dude that's like I'm alpha

This is how you're alpha And it's like Dude you're white whack. Yeah, it's a purpose thing. It's like someone's purpose in that setting it seems to be just to make money with the guise of like, I'm going to teach you this thing that I don't necessarily know, but I'm going to make you believe I know because I could talk good about it. For anyone watching out there, Angel's rate is extremely high. He doesn't sell himself well. There was something I was going to say. At some point, you do, there is, there is like a, a time in place for people who

genuinely, like for example, I could teach you about bodybuilding because I've done it. I've lived it for years. Like I've done the food. I've done the dieting. I've done the training. I've done trying to be stronger, trying to be stronger and be bigger. Like, I've done everything. So I could teach you about that because I've really done it. So there is a place where there is value there because you've really done it. I just think it's interesting, you know, talking to two men who like literally lived it, you know, like what it means to like that mental toughness and fortitude to get through everything you've been through and just in relationship to the people who sell the snake oil in regards to it is just so interesting so like there is a time when like you do have to value what you are

able to offer based on your literal life experience yeah i just think there's so many shitty fucking it basically imposters that are like really good at working the system on the internet and it's no real substance it's just like the typical shit that anyone would say or anyone could say and i don't know i just i just you know you guys i just you guys obviously you're not the most popular you know i started this podcast being like you know this is not you aren't the most popular creators i've ever spoken to which is it doesn't mean anything to me like i actually really love having this conversation to you guys because you guys really live the life that we're trying to like me in a way not any means from where you guys have come from but i'm trying to share

with my audience like trying to get people to be better trying to get people to believe that they overcome the things as they've gone through in their life like you've done and you know you guys are just different iterations of it and and i just have so much love and so much respect for people who really lived it and who really do it. And because that's how you really learn. Like if I really wanted to learn how to be a Navy SEAL or be a Ranger or like really put my, like I would have to talk to someone like you

because I would never be able to listen to someone who was just like, yeah, this is great, alpha's this and women that. And it's like, I don't, I just, it's a weird thing that happens on the internet because there's so many people, like most, most people just don't have an idea at all. So they're willing to listen to anything.

Yeah. Yeah. And I, and, you know, some of the people, some of the greatest minds in spaces like this that could really help other people such as yourselves is like you're not as loud about it you're not as flamboyant about it but you have what it really takes and what someone really needs to hear and to understand because you lived it yeah and and you know we're just entering this world and and and me specifically and i got to give credit to to to mike because he's like i said he's been

like a big brother to me he said i'll be believe in myself and and you know like he'll say hey you know, when you start talking and you start sharing, you have people's attention, you know, and you got to work at that. And I remember thinking, like, dude, I'm not a public speaker. Like, you know, or I'm not this and I'm not that. And he has helped me. And just like how you said it, you know, we're quiet. And I think it takes people like us to believe in ourselves, even though we've done A, B, and C in the military,

believe in ourselves here in the civilian arena. And then. Same concept. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you guys have what it takes 100%. I mean, if you could do what you've done, it's like, if I could do what I did,

you motherfuckers can figure it out easy, you know? Like you've done 10 times harder shit. You know, I think the internet is, it's a place where people have been fed short, quick highlights for such a long time that they'll see a guy like you and they'll be like big man and they'll look at it and they'll idolize that at first.

And then eventually they want to break it down because maybe their own jealousy or whatever, but they don't want to look at what got you there. Yeah. That's not sexy to watch the years and years of dedication you put into this. Every morning, I'm guaranteeing you were probably at the gym every fucking morning. Oh yeah. Getting after it every day. Nobody cares about you when you were like, I'm just going to throw, I don't know your background, but like at 17 when you were skinny and like, I want to be this one day. Nobody gives a shit. They want to see you now at this success. But what we value is looking at the person when they're here, when they're not here. You know what I

mean? Yeah, absolutely. I want to know that kid. Like the kids we're working with today who are like down on their luck, they're like tiny, we're just crushing their nuts in. I want to see that guy in 15 years, you know, and see where he's become because I don't care about the highlight real. I want to see, I want to affect change now. I want to affect change when the guy, before the guy, before the guy becomes famous before the guy becomes big and accomplishes all those things yeah um yeah i think i think when you look at angel myself even yourself you you see you see all the things from the past but you don't actually like calculate what it took to get there for sure and value that i mean it's it's that's like the that's the most interesting thing on the internet now is like that that

sort of mentality bleeds into everything of like you know you're talking about the clips or the highlights and it's like this is what it really comes down to is like what what happened to instilling the things that are really required to get there like even just as a country like basic shit of physical education and all these sort of things that we have just at some point in this country I know for a fact the the rigorousness of like our PE and our physical education sort of coursing was so much different and it's just everything is just part participation trophies and it's okay if you're not the best and it's like yeah it is but it's also like why would you set yourself up to like go towards not being the best it's like whatever it is

try yeah and like we've we've lost that sort of toughness I feel like as a just a country yeah and it's interesting it's really like why are why are we not telling people no you should try to be number one you should be the best because the people who always find true success at anything they do that's where their mind's at whether they fucking get there it's irrelevant it's like you know you should aim for that you should shoot for that and i never understood why it's become so like almost like oh like you know the hard dad the guy who wants his kid to be good at this and it's like oh he's he's he's too he's too aggressive or he's not like accepting of his son because it's like what the fuck happen to like trying to

push people yeah you want you want my kid to be basic and mediocre like your kid like fuck that no i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna work is ass hard and and I think there's not enough failure in kids lives parents don't let their kids fail enough they helicopter parent they try to cushion them and coddle them and you know I'm I have two kids a 12 and a nine year old and I try to make my kids warriors man I we go we go train on the mats and I whoop their little asses you know like I you have to we're at the house and I'm grinding on them with chores and I love the shit of them and I'm so loving to them but like if they want to get their way they got to work for it and there's not enough kids

that experience failure like if my kid loses a game i'm like hey lost man i don't say like oh you did great i'm like hey you struck out at baseball today that's okay here's how we're going to get better next week yeah and when i was a buds instructor teaching those guys one thing i noticed was the lack of resiliency like the students were getting stronger and stronger and faster and smarter and they were getting less resilient. And I think it's generational. I think it's everything. I don't think it's these particular kids.

They were getting stronger, faster, and better, but less resilient. To failure. Oh, got it. Less resilient to failure. And Buds is designed where you will fail at something. You will fail many times at things. If you're a fast runner, cool,

we'll put you in the cold water and you'll freeze. If you're a fast swimmer, cool, we'll make you do a thousand push-ups before and then you'll fail to swim. him. Like, we make it where you will fail and we see how you react to it. And there was a story of a kid who failed out of Hell Week. This is while I was in the Navy. He failed at Hell Week. And as most of these guys, he wanted to be a seal since he was young. And he left the compound. While he didn't go to sleep, he was awake for multiple days, failed, one of the

to be a seal since he was however old gets uh gets in his car or an uber and goes to the marriott hotel downtown san diego and uh takes the elevator up to the rooftop bar and walks out and like steps off the edge and just kills himself and um i remember hearing that and being like fuck dude that that is a kid who had never experienced failure in his life and he didn't know how to handle it and I don't want to speak poorly on him or his family in any way but that is a kid who did not

have resiliency he failed who fucking cares go be in the Navy you're still serving your country go do something else go thrive but he killed himself he couldn't handle it and uh dude like what a what a waste of

a great human like somebody who's not only willing to serve but wants to be the best but he just could not over become that failure. And I think resiliency is one of the, one of the biggest lessons you could teach your kids or your friends, how to handle yourself in the wake of failure.

I mean, damn. It's so tough hearing stuff like that. My father, I told you past when I was young, he took his life. My father hung himself when I was young, and it's not making it. So I've talked about this a lot when I was six. He did that.

And my whole life is a representation of, like, what I have now is because of this, idea of loss in relationship to failure like because there was this there must have been this moment when I was young thinking like not typical failure like oh I didn't pass this test or I didn't get this point but almost a sense of like I wasn't good enough I'm a failure that's why like when I was a kid now I'm much older and I know it's different now but I remember being young and feeling like why am I not good enough to have my father and and but now looking back it took me so many years to figure it out but the the idea and like the being okay with the

failure and failure itself was like that whole idea I had about good enough was what made me who I am today like I wouldn't have all of the success in my life I wouldn't be able to sit here and talk to you fucking amazing people I wouldn't all the fucking people that I've talked to the money that I made I wouldn't have any of it if it wasn't for that moment in my life and that truly shaped who I am. Like, I'll give you another example. Being in the gym, right? When I found the gym, this is like, this is my escape. This is like the thing that made me feel like everything else could disappear and I could prove that I'm good. I could prove that I'm better. I could be worth it, right, to be around for. And it's such a weird, sorry, it's such a weird sort of relationship because

through bodybuilding, through the gym, through my experiences, my childhood, life is a bunch of failure that gets you to where you want to be. And you have to be okay with it. Like there's no other choice because to be great at bodybuilding, to be great at business, to be a great friend, like you have to go through moments where you weren't a good friend. You have to go through moments where you failed in the gym, where you have to go through moments where you didn't pass the thing you wanted to pass.

Like that's how you learn. and that's how you grow and that's how you get better. Like physically, even like to grow to be physically better, you have to fail. You have to push yourself to that point of fucking failure. So my whole entire life is a representation of that, of failure. That's the only reason why I have success. And so it's just such a, like when I hear stories like that,

it's like, how did, I don't know, it's like no one got to that person or no one had the conversation or that person was too afraid to have the conversation or whatever it was around that idea of failure or not being good enough or whatever it was because that's what it came down to it. He felt like it wasn't good enough. Yeah.

And but to be good enough, you have to not be good enough. Like to actually eventually be good enough, you have to know what it's like to not be good enough. And my whole life is a version of that. And I have success now and I'm so grateful for my life.

And like there's been moments where I thought about suicide and like, what the fuck is the point of life? And it's like I wouldn't be able to sit here and have any of this conversation and give any good to the world if it wasn't for failing. failing and like I wish more people would just understand that and hear that that was that was

really well said I think that's why I respect entrepreneurs so much is because any successful entrepreneur I see I'm like that dude failed so many times you had to there's it's impossible not to it's impossible not to and I just in my own experience with entrepreneurship how many hurdles people people see my titles accomplishments but they don't see like okay you went to undergrad at this school that's amazing you must be smart yeah but you didn't see the 15 schools i was rejected from oh you went to business school yeah but you didn't see i got rejected from like 80% of the business schools i applied to um oh you must have done this well i started like three businesses incorporated companies that failed before i started this

Like, I got rolled in buds during training and almost, you know, didn't make it through training because of, like, illness. Those are the things that, like, build character. Yeah. The accomplishments, man. Like, I know he's the exact same way. We'll run a marathon, and it's just check.

I don't even think about it. We'll accomplish something, and I, okay, what's next? What's next? But when you fail at something, that's where, like, the growth happens. Why are people afraid of that? I think, man, it doesn't feel good. Failing sucks.

And I don't know what it is about people that they can't turn that into a positive. You know, they'll see, you know, I try to do as much community work as I can. And I tell them like, hey, man, like, you know, when I go talk to kids, they're also from the hood and be like, hey, man, you know, like, you see, I'm here talking to you today. And I'm telling you, I do this and I do that. But, man, I failed a lot. and people didn't believe me that I was going to change and that I was actually wanting to do good and when I tried something

okay I remember when I first tried something to better my life and I'm like yeah I'm in the right path and I failed and it didn't work and I'm like fuck and I had this little inner bitch failure like well then why even fucking try you know for a split second I was like

no fucking keep going just keep going and but I remember that for that split second when I felt bad And I think people fail and they're like, I don't want to feel this ever again. So I'll never even test myself. And I think that's what's going on in this country because you see so many dudes.

And you're like, how are you not like this? How are you not like that? And you're like, well, you haven't even given yourself the opportunity to fail to reach this point. And it's like, man, I'm not sure if it's because of the internet, you know, where everyone sees that everyone's living a great life and they're always successful and this and this or this or that. or, you know, maybe they're lucky. I can't reach that because I'm not them. I don't know what it is, but you know how we do change that? It's at the house.

It's not going to be fast. Everybody wants a quick, you know, like fix, right? That's exactly what it is. But it's not. You're not going to change someone's political views or if they like this pre-workout or that pre-workout with like a five-second video. It's like when people are set to their fucking things, they're set to the things but how do you change it slowly and people don't want that that's

exactly it i think that's the answer i think it's in relationship and it's only got worse because of the internet because of you see oh they have it and this kid's 19 has a success i should have that i'm 19 how come i'm nowhere close yeah i think it's the comparison right which is a which is a massive thief of joy yep and then it's also the time that they're that they go okay this didn't work like oh i'm going to quit and it's like yeah but that's not how failure works. That's not how success works. It's not like you go, oh, I tried this once and I should have it tomorrow or the next day or next month. The reason why you could sit and have conversations or even share anything that you've been through is because like you've been

through it and you failed and you lost. And that's why you have something to give. And that's how you know how to move forward better. Like you hear all the time about people who get all this money. You're like, people win the lottery and they lose it all because they never knew how to have money because they never really earned it. So that's a great example of someone who had all, everything just given to them. But they don't know how to deal with it because they don't know what it's like to have to earn it, right? You have to earn it, and you have to earn it through failure. And just not enough people are comfortable because they go, well, I'm on the internet

and this guy has this, and what about me? And it's like, cut all the bullshit out and fucking fail and try again and then fail and try again and be comfortable knowing that you're not going to get the result you want the first fucking time may take you 10 times, may take you 100 times, but if you give a fuck about it enough, then you'll continue to do it. And not enough people are comfortable with that process because they want it right fucking now and that's not realistic. And how bad do you want it?

Yeah. And if, because then it's like, is it truly purposeful? Because if something you truly want, then it doesn't matter, like if you, which is how bad you want it.

Because how bad you want it is related to how much it actually means to you. Yeah. Because if it truly means enough to you, it doesn't matter. You could fail every single time. You're still going to try. And the truth is the crazy part about it all is like,

the end result that everyone's looking for, dude, you'll get there someday. And if it's money, or this or that you'll get there and you realize like wow this does not feel like what i thought would feel like everything else along the way when i look back now that was the feeling yeah and it was when you were failing it wasn't when you had the success it wasn't when you had all the money because i've been there i've been there no money i've been there broke as fuck living people's houses

i've done it all and having the money and having the money oh it's amazing i look back and i'm like man these were the moments though this is what made me feel good even though it was bad at the time and people are just afraid of that it's crazy to me and maybe it's just certain humans are just different I don't know I think people are just wired different

or condition different based on how they're brought up or what they're told or what they believe in themselves based on what people are telling them and I think it's just like how do we convince more people to go like block out all the shit

and like where are you at what do you want what really matters to you focus on that and you know what it's that's why it bugs me when I see people who who maybe they didn't have all

like I didn't grow up in a nice house like white picket fans loving family no my dad would fucking was an alcoholic he'd beat the shit out of us my mom told us that nobody loved us that we ruined her life you know and we were poor I used to get made fun of all the time

because I would wear the same clothes all the time and me being the first one to be born in this country obviously Spanish is the main language in my house so I can't read I can't write and I'm fucking when I'm And when I'm in third grade, I'm doing first grade homework. I'm being pulled to the side during reading and writing time and reading like kindergarten and first grade books because I'm so far behind.

And I was never, so I wasn't guided, right? So when people say like, oh, you know, well, because I don't have this or have that. I was like, I didn't either. Like, look, man, at some point you have to be like, look, man, okay, this is where I'm starting in this race, right? Or the hand of cards that I'm going to, that I have with. Okay, that sucks. But what am I going to do? Stop being a fucking victim.

Yeah. And I'm going to fucking work hard and work hard and work hard and I'm going to fail. And I did fucking fail a lot, but I won at the right moments. And along the path, you know what happened? People with good hearts saw me working fucking hard. And they're like, you know what? Let me help them out. And they did.

Like where I'm at today, I am in accumulation of all my mentors and my hard work. Because if it weren't, I can't just work hard. I worked hard, and great people with good hearts were like, you know what? Hey, check this out. Yeah. And they helped, you know? But it starts with inside. It starts with being owning up to your own fucking faults or whatever and being like,

you know what? Fuck it. This isn't going to be my story. And I don't know what the fucking answer is to give, you know, it's like a pill to people and for them to stop being like that. There's not. Except what you just said. That's it.

It's just for the people who are willing to listen. Yeah. Who are willing to take and go, okay, I'm going to live like that. Because that is the truth. I don't care what sort of success. Anyone who's had all the success, they'll all say the same thing. That's the truth. So whether people want to hear it or not, it's tough because it's not easy.

Yeah. But this has been, this has been like easily my favorite podcast I think I've ever done. And it's so ironic that it's not like the fucking fancy YouTuber or fucking athlete or this is fucking cool. So I really appreciate you guys coming and talking to me today, genuinely. And you know what? I think it's because, I mean, it's real. And I think the internet too often has been given this fake stuff that people are in dire need of like real conversations with real people that. Because not everyone's an influencer, so like I can't relate to them.

But you know what? If you have a serious conversation with somebody and they're giving you something serious, I can relate to that. Yeah. I can tell. Yeah. No, I appreciate you having us on. um we we love to tell our story but most importantly we love to pass on the message other veterans because there's a there's so many so many veterans out there uh in los angeles even like yeah

and they just are all alone there's no community and uh we pass this on man if there are any vets out there who like are in need or struggling hit us up message us because you know we've been through it we've been through like the gauntlet and all of our friends have been through the gauntlet of shit that that requires to transition back to like normal life and uh i hate seeing guys go through that so we that that's our message to any vets who listen to this is like hit us up and and you're not alone there there's way more of us out there than you think and uh we're trying to build that community i support it fully man and anything i could do to help hopefully this does help and uh i'd love to also come shoot with you guys and train a little

bit i love shooting anytime i love shooting let's do it i'd love to do that you guys do like clear like i know you do it every night but can we go do like room clear yeah yeah like i want to do that i want to do that so bad come out bring uh bring josh and some of the boys yeah yeah i will thank you guys so much for coming for real thank you for hours genuinely you guys are fucking solid humans man thanks for everything you guys have done for this country as well so thank you you guys every tuesday 11 i love you guys subscribe to the channel hopefully guys you guys liked it obviously i know it's not the typical sort of podcast but i don't honestly i like this like i said this is probably my most favorite one that i've ever done and uh i really really

appreciate you guys and i want to do more stuff like this that's not just fucking social media land and it's real shit so thank you guys again man thank you for having us yeah awesome