RAWTALK - Was the punch fake? | Bryce Hall knocks out FouseyTube

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Join us on a brisk stroll through the journey of Fousey. We jog through many life changing moments of this OG youtuber, social media influencer and reality star. He talks on his recent experiences in the Jake Paul fight, social media, childhood stories, and Rehab... You do not want to miss the hidden gems about Fousey and his journey.SUBSCRIBE HERE: https://www.youtube.com/c/REALRAWTALK?sub_confirmation=1LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rawtalk/id1294154339FOLLOW RAWTALK PODCAST:INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/getrawtalkTIKTOK | https://vm.TikTok.com/TTPdQbEqVX/FOLLOW BRADLEY:INSTAGRAM | https://instagram.com/bradleymartynSUBSCRIBE TO RAWTALK PODCAST CLIPS: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvzSBNBOK599FqzrTZS8ScQ/?sub_confirmation=1SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE OF BRADLEY MARTYN: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWTQG2aMDYKGDqYEGqJb1FA/?sub_confirmation=1SUBSCRIBE TO FITNESS CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/bradleymartynonline?sub_confirmation=1RAWGEAR: https://www.rawgear.com (CODE:RAW)

I want the dash cam just staring. Imagine it was a prank. And I was like, yo, I moved. I thought you were pranking me. I know what was going on. No, it's not a prank, man. This episode is sponsored by Raw Gear. I buy this stuff too.

Don't think this is giving to me. I buy this, so I support. You can't buy the gym and bought it to me. Yeah, I bought it. You can ask Brad, cash money. But the next job, I got to get for free. You know what I mean? I bought this one with the next shot.

Ooh. Yeah, you already know. Damn. This is a big boy came. Welcome. Oh, this is so cute. It says welcome pussy. Oh, it's so professional.

That actually makes the guests feel good. It makes you feel very welcome. Really? Yeah, I know you didn't do it, but it makes me feel very welcome. I did not do that shit. I feel very... Now I'm actually happy to be here. You know that's not my personality.

I know. Oh, wow. Are we live? No. Cool. We, I mean, it is live. It's not live, yeah. No, it is live.

that's live and then it's going to go right into the podcast oh for real yeah yeah and it's already recording but that's your mind you got to talk to your mic oh that's so sick maybe i should have watched the episode of your podcast before to know you did that because i did not know you did yeah but i'm your biggest fan i mean i've been subscribed since like 2000 this podcast 16 like yeah this podcast is well it's not brand new it's it's an old podcast it's you know it's new you had it you revamped an old channel and I had known you were going to turn into a podcast so I subscribed to the old channel in 2016 yeah I just knew it was a culture cast yeah um so anyways we got I was lying but I guess I was right yes you were like a year off but it's all good you were close

2017 my jokes didn't work but okay um but anyways we have uh Fusitube Yusuf well you got like a few other names man my name is Yusuf Yusuf yes you are just so everyone watch he knows this Youssef is the very first person that actually got me into YouTube and I've told this story a few different times I think just I don't know if your content or my content

along a year's been told I've heard it many times yeah but you were the guy and just to give you guys some perspective I had like about 600,000 followers on Instagram and I met you at a celebrity football game remember you were out of shape and I was like yo I really want to do YouTube and you're like

get me in shape I'll like help you get started And from what I remember You put me in like two of your And this is at the time This is what year was this must have This is when I was banging This was booming You were the king of YouTube

Yeah Like I don't think there was a bigger YouTuber at the time You were the guy There was it was me roaming Atwood and Vitaly Okay We were the three

Yeah Okay So I met I met Yousef And I was like All right I want to do this YouTube shit And we kind of did like a little transformation She's like yo I want to get back in shape I think you put me

You shot me out like two videos Like barely in two videos I got like 25,000 Subscribers like before I had a single video on the channel. You remember that shit? I do remember. I do remember. And then Something I've never said, but something I want to say so me and you actually were going to work together. We were going to do business like I was going to help you with your channel long term and very early on before I had even tried it with friends. I just I valued our friendship more than what business would have done to it. And I remember. I don't know if you remember. I told you I don't want to do it. Yeah. And I said I'm out like I'm out. Just take. run it do it you you do it because and even like i did a channel with two of my friends salmon and some year recently this year yeah and then i remembered i don't like to do business with friends not that anything happened we were great but i value their friendship more and i know how

easily you can lose that friendship so i was just like y'all do it i'm out yeah so did you did you have you lost friendships like with business oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah and that's that that's the thing When I see a relationship change, not saying it changed in either of the two that we had, but when in the past, when I've seen it change, because of that person's perception or idea of money, I like to pull out right away because the intentions aren't right. Yeah. And I've never, you know, I'm not the best business, man. I've made horrible businesses. It's just horrible financial decisions. So, yeah, I put friendship over business any day.

Yeah, man. You've had one of the most, I'd say, up and down careers I've ever seen on your. YouTube and I love that I love that like you know why because so many people you know of course like I don't even well I'm sure we'll get into this I don't go on social media no more what you wait what do you do what do you mean oh you didn't know that no I didn't know that oh ever since I went into rehab I don't talk about this rehab shit yeah yeah okay well I don't go on social media so so how do you post anything I have team members who post for me and if I have stories I'll download I'll post the stories and I'll delete off my phone

immediately. What the fuck? That's just the new way of doing it. It's brought me so much peace and sanity. I'm sure we'll get into that. But, you know, so whenever anybody says like the famous, infamous words, which they say to everybody in their mothers, you fell off. One, it's funny because I'm not trying to be on.

And two, while not trying to be on, after 12 years, I'm still here being talked about, whether it's in a good or bad way, recently bad, because this gentleman, I don't know if you know him, this very popular YouTuber. His name is Bryce Hall. He's not, he's more, I mean, I guess he's a YouTuber now. He started as a TikToker. Oh, you know him? I know Bryce Hall.

Oh, you know Bryce Hall. Oh, you know Bryce Hall well. Yeah, um, he punched me and knocked me out on a reality show. So, so I was talked about for that. But you see what I mean? Like, I don't even want to be like people always say like you attention or cloud. Why did you go on a reality show? If you didn't want him talked about like, we got to talk about the, we got to talk about like actually that.

All right, let's rewind. We'll get to there. I'll let you lead this. So before we get into that shit, we got to talk about like, you remember years ago you had the whole, the whole episode, the, doc, the concert thing, all that stuff, the Drake stuff, all this crazy shit. Of course. Wrote about it in a book.

And you've gone ups and downs, even prior to that. Yes, sir. And I talked to you earlier today, what do you think makes at this point in your life different? Because you've always come back. You've gone up. All right. People got to, and I'm going to tell you like this. People are like, fuck this guy.

tired of his shit. Oh my God, of course. And by all means, I don't ask for support anymore. I'm not even a, like, I'm not a, I'm, I'm, I'm not even a public figure anymore or a person who's trying to be anything right now. Yeah. So there's, there's no support being asked. If people choose to support me, that's on their own free will. There's no gain for me on anything. I have different businesses going on right now. Um, but what I was saying to you earlier was when I was in rehab and I'm sure we'll get to that. I was talking to my brother on the phone, talking. talking to him about how this time was different and I had an epiphany and I was awake and my eyes were open and I could see things and based on what I was telling him my brother's response was what the hell we've been trying to tell you this for years since the incident in 2018 here's the thing though you can never change somebody you can never get somebody to change they have to change at their own time yeah when it's ready for them to when they're ready in life to change. Whenever God's timing it is for them to change, they will change. So when I was 28, you would think a public manic episode where I lost millions of dollars, my ego, my self-pride, my self-love,

my self-respect, all my friends, everything attached to who I was as a person, you would think that's enough to wake me up. It wasn't. All it did was make me want to get back to that level of fame and money I was once at. So I convinced the world that I was trying to get back. better but i was really just trying to get back to that level of fame and money yeah and this year i got there with the social gloves boxing hosting that event with everything that happened on the youtube to my friends telling me we can't open up tic talk without seeing you i had got there but what happened by getting there hold on did you call in that bomb threat you stupid you are stupid Fuck it with you

I wrote about it in my book I didn't even give you a car I didn't give nobody a copy because I didn't like it So All that did though Me getting back to that level of money and fame It made me as a person

And my issues Even worse than before So like when I checked into rehab My sister was the only one that knew My immediate family Hold on, hold on We can't get to rehab Okay okay I got a story

We gotta figure out how you got there first. Yeah, yeah. So, so, so, so 28, I wasn't ready. Life, I wasn't ready to change. I wasn't ready to give up that lifestyle. I wasn't ready to grow up. For now, though, at 31, for the incident that happened, for whatever reason, it was enough. And the reason I knew that, because I know we're going to get there when I was in rehab and I was staring at the psychiatrist's eyes, the therapist's eyes, I looked at them and I would say, the same way I'm looking at you, the reason I know that it's true this time is because, I'm not lying to myself.

Yes, but the question is, how do you know that, truly? Right? Because you've gotten through so many things, and I know you've been on medications. I know you've done all that stuff for your mental health. Well, we're going to have to talk about rehab for me to explain the rationale as to why I believe that. For sure. So let's talk about how you got into rehab then. Oh, for sure.

Because you were a fucking, apparently some raging alcoholic. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I remember you were here once because we had like a little get together and you were like wasted. And Nadim was like trying to like calm you down. Yeah. And you know I texted Nadim that next day and was like, bro, how drunk was I? I'm sorry. Like, so bad.

That was every single time I've been drunk. Yeah. Every time. So look, there are different levels of alcoholics, right? Some alcoholics wake up in the morning and crave a bottle. Crave a sip. They need it. Some people need a trigger.

They're mad. They reach for the bottle. They're happy. They reach for the bottle. They're nervous. They reach for the bottle. my alcoholism came from because I'm an addict by nature I can get addicted to anything and everything and my primary addiction was sex yeah across the board sex through and through right but that's just one of my addictions because I can get like when you say sex you mean like like pornography or sex with people like what all of it all of it all of it all of it massage parlors pornography so rubbing tugs oh yeah those are lit though and I want to I do want to talk to you about it though because this is something that drove me insane Okay.

So me as an addict who's lived in shame and guilt and hated himself and felt like I was the worst person on earth, opens up his YouTube, sees a Steve will do a video, took this homeless man to a massage parlor to get, and you guys are all celebrating outside the massage parlor, outside of the thing that makes me feel so guilty and hate myself. And that's so weird. So my question for so many years was, what makes the difference between my friends who could do it? normally and me as an addict you related some sort of shame to it a lot's why yeah and there's also um yeah it's it's a i learned the answer in rehab it's a very deep and complex answer but yeah

rub and tugs yeah um that was a big one that's where it started that's where it started it started from my problem with premature ejaculation so yeah how many times did you go to a rub and tugger like on a weekly on a week or a month it could vary because i'm like one of those i could either be i could be seven times a week. Oh my God. Or I could be one time a week. Okay. Like, it's, it varies. Yeah, I haven't been in a while. I'm not going to lie to you. When I, at my peak, it was like two times a week, maybe three times a week. But to you, it's like chill. Like you could just, no, I just was like a great massage and they're like, I'm, you know, it's it. I feel like you could go into a regular massage parlor and the masseuse that asked you, hey, do you want anything extra? No, but me, it was like, it was like a need.

Yeah. Like, there's a difference between a. want and in need where it's like 8 p.m. I'm living in 1600 vine in the most expensive penthouse apartment. Logan Paul's living down the hall. George Janko is in my apartment, my condo asking me, do you want to go out with me and Logan? This is before Logan exploded. Yeah. Me saying, nah, man, I got things to do. This is funny because this reminds me the conversation I had with Logan about this actual, not with you specifically, but that same time period. Yeah. He leaves. They leave to whatever party they were going to go to, which would have been great for my career. I said I had something to do.

It was a rubber tub. I sneak into the parking lot and I drive to a rubbing tub. It was that much of a necessity. What do you think caused that trigger? What do you think made you want that so much in your life? So, by the way, I've never been as vulnerable and open on a podcast. I'm about to because I wrote about it in a book, even though nobody heard about it. I just did it to get over my demons.

But when I was really young, really, really, really young. yeah um and everybody in elementary school in junior high was talking about uh sex and porn me coming from a middle eastern background didn't even know what those words meant so i went because you were so shelter yeah yeah so i went home one day we're talking about junior high elementary school kids talking about they having sex whether they were capping or not and hearing it from their big brothers they were talking about it i go home one day i get butt booty naked um i had a Life-sized toy leopard in my room. What?

I turned on miscongeniality on TV and I started humping it for the first time of my life. Okay. For the first time in my entire life as a child, as I come, for the first time of my life, my mom opens the door. Holy shit. How old were you? Very young. Find out when Miss Congeniality first hit TV, that's how old I was. I don't know.

Okay. My mom makes eye contact with me. My Muslim mother in a headscarf, butt naked. With a, with a, with a, with a, with a, with a, with a, with a, with a, with a blow up, not a blowup toy, like a, uh, you know those carnival life size toys. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. My mom yells at me instantly and goes, Yusuf put on your clothes. She shuts the door. Didn't know what to do. So that night, I sent her an AOL email. Yo, we're taking this shit way back, dog. Yo. No, I got. Yeah. In a middle, like one, we didn't have that vulnerability. By the way, guys, AOL email is that was, that was, uh, oh, they don't know. I mean, they probably know. I mean, they probably know. No, some of them know, but like, that shit's old school. That's archaic right now, bro. You literally got an, you got an email account.

It's basically an email account. Yeah. But AOL is like, dial-up mode on, 10,000, 56K. Like back in the day, before you plugged in, it was just like a, if someone was on the phone, you weren't sending an email. Yeah, exactly. So I sent my mom an email because we're, we're sheltered, we're cultured. I can't go up to my mom and say, hey, mom, sorry you caught me butt booty naked or explain to me what's happening to me as a child. animal you know like explain to me what's happening so you what was in the email do the thing on

tv where the parents sit down their kids and tell them the be birds and the bee story right they don't do that in middle eastern cultures always like still yeah it's a very taboo topic which caused me to write my mom an email saying mama i don't know what happened to me i'm sorry the devil got in my head it won't happen again my mom reads that email at work the next day replies to my email while at work and says, Yusuf, you are right. The devil did get into your head. This is why you need to pray. Don't ever let it happen again. So now my mom, she never spoke to you in person about this. My mom comes home from work that day, never mentions a word to it as if it never happened. Have you guys spoke about it since? No. And I told her do not read my

book. So she doesn't even know how much this has impacted my life. Holy shit. So that moment right they're associated that moment of coming and that feeling and girls and everything to be to be the worst possible thing I can do on earth yeah so the first time I had sex high school senior I'm in the back of my Honda accord coyote hills me and this girl have been dating we're madly in love we've been talking about this moment for a long time as kids do we're about to take each other's virginity she puts the conomami the second the second the same Second, I make contact. No way.

Not even push inside. Contact. There's some fire pussy. I stare. You got me dying. Sorry. I stare at her shaking. And she looks at me.

She goes, what's wrong? I go, I finished. Yeah. And from that moment on, I swear to God, Brad. Every single time I tried to have sex for probably the next five, 10 years, I had a problem with premature ejaculation. Watch this pregame. That didn't work. Ask me, you're about to ask me what every doctor has asked me.

Have you tried this? Have you tried everything? My brain wires got associated with that moment being just a thing. I didn't even have to be horny. I could be flaccid and come. What the fuck? So I had a very high sex and like hormonal, like sex drive, whatever. I even just got my blood work checked

And I actually have a high testosterone level I'm 8 something even with all this running Yeah I'm 8 something right now Holy shit which we'll talk about the running in a sec But so so I have 800 plus Yeah Oh wow so the doctor was like I can't even help you because he was like Let me check you know to see if he was like you're good

After that call I had today with him Yeah So as a as a kid who had that So what ended up happening was I told myself All right I can't have sex with any girl it's going to ruin every relationship i have because any relationship i get into this when you were a kid you've lost your virginity college oh this is even in college when did you

tell yourself this though oh high school high school when you lost your virginity yeah it when it became a recurring problem i one of my friends one day comes to me and goes you won't ever believe what just happened what happened i was at a massage parlor and at the end she asked me if she wanted to give me a hand job. If I wanted a hand job, me acting like, no way, was so excited because I was like, this is perfect. I get to practice lasting longer. I don't know the person. The person doesn't know me. And I can get better for the real world. Problem is, I go to that massage parlor he told me about. I pay the cover charge. I go inside. I lay down. My eyes are closed. End of the massage comes. I'm rock hard with the towel on top of me and I feel this.

In my head, I'm like, she did not just do that. My eyes are still closed. I feel this. I go, she did not just do that. I open my eyes. Wait, wait, wait, wait. She slaps my dick. Yeah, I get it.

But what? Yeah, wait a minute. You're seeing you're going into college. Okay. What? So I'd never heard of this. Like, why did she do that? Look, why?

So I open my eyes. She's standing beside me and she goes. You're pitching a tent. You're pitching a tent. Oh, yeah. Okay. With a towel. Yeah, yeah.

I'm a new customer. So she doesn't know if I'm po-poe what I am. Okay, okay. She has to assess the situation. Right. So if I had opened it and I was mad, she could have been like accident, accident, sorry. But I looked at her with a smile. So she goes, I go.

Yeah, okay. Here's the problem. She puts the oil on. Uh-huh. Came. Shut the fuck up, bro. Came. Shut the fuck up.

Dog, I don't believe it. And guess what the massage parlor did? What did they do? She looked at me and laughed. No. So now my $40 I mean that shit's funny though So now my 40

Yeah but imagine what it does to a kid Yeah but how the fuck did you come that fast I'm impressed I'm impressed I hate people like you because I'll be honest You're the kind of people I can hear And this is no dig to you

This is like good job But you're the kind of friend Who would tell stories and be like Man I was fucking this girl for two hours And I couldn't come And in my head I'm like Oh yeah I know all about that Meanwhile I'm like

Shit I just don't get it. I don't understand. Yeah. It's just, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a wiring issue that happened from my mom catching me that first time. Yeah. It's just, I associated so much to that moment where it just, I got wired to that.

Is it, do you think it was like the need to just be done with it? I don't know. I, I don't know. I don't know. There's no way it's still like that. There's no way you're, like, you're like, going to fuck a girl and you're like, gone. Oh, you'd be surprised. Oh, there are times.

Really? Because I mean there are times where it's like it's faster than normal for me. No, no, no. I'm talking about very fast. But not instant. No, no, no. There are times where I have to come before even starting the sex and I have to tell her. I, and I have to, I usually have the same. It's been a very long time. So you're probably going to make me come fast. But I can't wait till I can meet the girl and tell her like, or like she reads my book. And I can be like, why don't you just have this going to be like, hey, look, let me explain something to you. You just meet a girl. You're about to have sex and you have to sit her down and. say hey by the way i can't control my orgasm i mean she might appreciate the honesty instead of just like coming instantly some girls have appreciated the instant because they feel like oh wow so then you go for round two round two is not the same thing there's no way it's instant every time round two is fine oh you're good then who cares but round one is always wow damn fuck except except when even with a condom on yes holy shit except either and Now I don't do it anymore when I was blacked out drunk, which is why alcohol played such a big role in my life.

Okay. So now we can talk about it. Not also blacked out, also just drunk. And, and when I actually form a relationship with that girl and get used to her. Be comfortable with her. Comfortable. Yeah. So if she's like my girlfriend, I'm, what's that porn star's name, that bald guy?

I'm Johnny Sinsing this bitch. Like I'm lasting. Nice. I love it. But if I just met her, you're instant. I'm instant. So it seems it. has to do something with like like the shame of it like the yeah there's a lot man I'm still

trying to learn about it even through rehab still trying to learn about it actually had a sex addiction therapist at five o'clock today that I missed I was supposed to take it on zoom I just realized I missed yeah that's a that's a that's a fucking intense so that makes sense why you got into the alcohol because it was able to like numb you a little bit so probably didn't one of the reason one of the reason oh what I was saying about the alcohol I think you you I didn't even finish saying it so I said some people are alcoholics by nature they have to grab it My alcoholism came from You know how some people are like

Oh let's just have a drink They just take a shot Yeah Not in my vocabulary To me I associated with the drinking Everything in my life actually Think about my weight loss I'm either super super super fat

And obese And I'm not using those words lightly Like actually out of shape Or I'm the most shredded You know Gymrat Juicehead in the fucking world Who just looks crazy

Yeah I've seen all these There's no middle ground. I've noticed that. So with alcohol, it's either I'm going to abstain. I used to do it the unhealthy way, though, abstain and not do it. Or there's no one sip. If I'm drinking, I'm getting fucked up and blacking out.

So when did the drinking start for you? Like more recently. Oh, um, the, it's, there's always been glimpses of it in my life. Yeah. Like the, okay, look at what just happened this year. I got knocked out and made me realize I need rehab. Yeah. Let me take you back to college.

in 2009, no, 2020, right before I started a Fusitoo. I'm at a fraternity college party. My girlfriend at that party tells me, I want to have sex tonight because I had kept putting it off. Why did I keep putting it off? Because I knew I was going to come immediately and there's nothing I can do about it. So what did I do that night? I drank my ass off. What happened because I drank my ass off?

I blacked out. What happened when I blacked out? I blocked the doors of my fraternity. And when any girl wanted to leave, I said, if you want to leave, you have to limbo under my arms. So girls with limboing under my arms. Next thing I know, two SJSU football players come and stand in front of me. And I go, you want to leave? You limbo under my arms.

They go, oh, yeah? We'll give you three seconds and see how you feel about that. Three, two, on two. They check me. I go in the air. My head hits the concrete. I black out. I wake up in my friend's bed with a hospital bracelet around my wrist.

And I wake up and I go, Matt, Matt, what happened? he wakes up he goes i'm in his bed i don't even know how i got there he goes oh you got knocked out by two football players we had to take you to the hospital you're okay you don't have any head injuries go back to sleep i packed all my shit i moved back to my parents house lost all the wait for the first time and started a channel called foosie tube i don't get my i've lived so many lives brad i have so many stories that people don't know about so it's like i've been there for a lot of this it's like it's never endings like how do you have that many stories like how How does that keep happening?

How have you not learned? But I can, I'm going to say something at the end of this podcast, um, that relates to all that. But yeah, man, so it's been happening. So alcohol has always been there. But this year, you said when did that happen recently? Yeah. Let's, let's talk about the whole, the whole going into rehab thing.

Okay. I want to. So this year I was doing great, right? Yeah. Or so it looked like, like when my sister called my oldest brother and said, hey, Yusip's in rehab. His response says, what the fuck he was doing so good this year? Yeah.

I made the world think of it. was doing good. The problem was I was drinking more than ever. I was smoking more than ever and I was taking more Adderall than ever. People didn't even know I was taking Adderall this year and I was abusing Adderall again. Well, I don't understand why you keep going back to it. I mean, I get it. I mean, it's like I'm an addict by nature. Yeah, but if you know that and you could say that and you're like, I know I'm an addict, I know I'm an addict. How can you? An alcoholic can know he's an alcoholic, but it doesn't mean he's going to stop. Of course.

There has to be something more, which is what you learn in rehab with, depending on what program you go into, a 12-step program, a religious program, whatever you go into. So Bryce punches you in the face during some altercation. Well, let me explain how I got to that. Yeah. So, yeah. You're so confused this podcast. I'm just talking.

You want to ask? Yeah, no, go ahead. I mean, it's like you find yourself on this reality thing, the JC and what is it? Yeah. And who's on this show? J.C. and Kean run it. And who was on at that show that you were on? So what happened was? I'm just going to have to tell the story.

Go ahead. Yeah. No worries. The year before I was on this same reality show for season two, they knew Fusey's going to be on. And Fusi, the persona, what is he known for? Drama, high energy, problems. Yeah, yeah. What is that going to bring? Views and ratings. Right.

Problem is, I show up to this show. They made us do a challenge upon arrival before even going into the mansion. Who lost the challenge? me who got sent home me so they said we're going to bring you back for season three so a year goes by season three is now here they're like yusuf do you want to come back it's a now on a hundred thousand dollar cash prize i'm like fuck yeah you know the foosie persona that guy who loves attention ego all that shit was like hell yeah thriving yusuf knows better foosie and i made that distinction in rehab and i'll talk about that so i got excited i said yes i'll come

here's the problem on reality shows you're supposed to if you're a contestant you're supposed to give in your phones you're not allowed to have your phones on reality shows the start how long the whole time you're taping the stars on this season were so big that they allowed them to have their phones so the day before i'm the surprised guest coming on day two the day before i'm going to go i open my Instagram and I go to Tana Mojo's Instagram and I see her wearing a reality house shirt and then I go to Bryce's and I see Bryce there. Why did I panic when I saw Tana? Two weeks before I got so drunk with Tena not two weeks before even more than that where I was like I wasn't aggressive in touching. I was aggressive in verbal and what I wanted to do to her.

I was hitting on her hard, hard body where I embarrassed the fuck out of myself drunk. Where I thought, ever since that moment, I convinced myself that she hated me. Yeah. So I created a scenario in my head. Tanna's going to air me out on this TV. She's going to be mad that I'm there. She's going to do A, B, and C. Stayed up that whole night eating, post-mating and eating.

Wake up that next morning. My assistant wakes me up. First thing I do is popin Atarol, empty stomach. They come pick me up. The drive is supposed to be two hours and 40 minutes. It ended up being four hours and 45 minutes. I get so antsy during the drive. I text my assistant and go.

Where was this place at? Don't even know. I go, where did you pack the fireball? She tells me what suitcase it's in. We stopped the car. I grabbed the gallon of fireball and I proceed to chug. I look at the driver and I look at the other girl contestant come in. I go, oh, don't worry.

I'm just getting loose a little bit. I show up. They take us into this back room and do interviews like this where there's cameras with just the production crew. They tell us what to say. What's up, bitches? We're back. I'm already lit. everybody on everything i say is laughing

yeah that not only brings up my drunkenness it gets me to keep picking up the bottle and drinking more now it's time to go out to meet the cast and surprise them we walk out tana's excited to see me so all that pre-stress i created in my mind the day before was for nothing tana was happy to see me she gives me a hug

bryce sees me the first thing he says And it's on camera on the show. He knew the second I got there, he points to me and goes, this guy is wasted. I was blacked out just showing up. I'm making a fool of myself when we started. So we get there. You know what's interesting to me. For how long I've known you, you're reactive.

You're so reactive to everything. What I mean by that is like, for example, you talk about this Tanna thing and her being like, oh, she's going to be mad at me. You're reactive before you even see the reality. Yeah. You do this with everything. No, you've done it for years. Yeah, that's a problem. But where do you think it's come from?

So what anxiety is, is anxiety is not living in the present. It's living in the future, living in the past. For sure. So in that moment of anxiety, I'm thinking of the future. Oh, shit, Tana's going to hate me because of what I did in the past. So it's that anxiety that I carry. Yeah. Which now, I'm going to get to where I am now and I know people are going to like, yeah, we've heard this.

They're not, you know, but whatever. The only time will really tell this one. Exactly. Yeah. But that's how it was. For years. Everyone's like, oh, we'll see next time. I even was like that. I was like, yo, I know this motherfucker for years.

I'm like, this guy is going to go up. He's going to go down. Just believe, baby. This time, I swear to God, if like a year and a half goes by and I see the same Yousef that I see now, you're going to be happy. I'll be very proud. Yeah. No, my life's going to continue skyrocketing and doors are going to continue opening right now.

I'll tell you what I have planned and everything. We'll get to it. So the first challenge we do when we get there. And this is right after Bryce goes, I know this guy's wasted. They go, Yusuf, you and your guest that just showed up are going to do it. challenge against tanna and her guest her guy you guys are going to eat this shit literal shit like fear factor type shit but what was it like shit like wasn't like human shit no but like it's pretty close now but what was it though don't know but was it a meat like was it

i forgot they said it in the show but i don't know it was like yeah like shit okay but everyone's listening just like he wasn't eating shit though think about something even worse than shit that's what it was from an animal okay from an animal so it's like bull testicles or something so the second i smell it i start yacking what does that do make my drunk even more so i'm yacking i'm yacking i'm yacking why are we throwing up make your drunk more because i was on an empty stomach and on an adderall the the the yacking just intensified my drunkenness got it so i'm not going to eat that shit so i look at my teammate and i say yo here's our game plan you eat this and i'm just going to keep throwing up to distract them from eating so while she's eating it and stuff i'm just doing

shit like grabbing it throwing it over my shoulder under the table to be funny i know i'm not gonna eat that shit so at the end they go all right fusi your team lost you're disqualified yeah here's the catch this season no one goes home oh shit they go go into the house so we go into the house you know when you're new in a crowd and especially when you're drunk it's like you you want to feel welcomed in a cohesive part of the group like going into a party you want to feel welcome it's so hard for me to relate to that because i don't really like to drink too much okay and i just chill i take like one i can't i'd love to relate to you right now but like i don't give a fuck about that yeah and i'm a loner at the party i'll stand in the back and i should have done that

but i had they didn't show this too much on the show but when i first walked in the crowd the crew the cast members that were there for the last 24 hours Bryce was already telling me who hooked up with who who who likes who who's friends with who And I'm brand new. And they all sit on the table and they're all talking to each other like they've known each other forever. And I'm just an outsider standing on the outside. Yeah. So what is the-

I love that shit. I'm used to that shit. Exactly. I wish I was. But what is a person who's new to an environment not know what to do, kind of like what a bully does? Started talking shit. Who did I start talking shit to? Bryce.

What did you say? Ah, Bryce, you're a bitch. You don't really drink. This is a drinker. We took shots of tequila that didn't put in the show like this fucking big. Just kept taking shot, shot, shots. So you were challenging to drink. Yeah, I'm gone.

Next thing I challenged Bryce on, I'll beat your ass in boxing. You lost your match. You guys are both really unsuccessful at that. And our egos are talking. It was two egos going off. Bryce goes, you really think you could beat me? I go, no, I don't. I go, but give me three months to train.

I think I can. Just, you know, who's bigger? Who's dick is bigger type of talk. Right, right. The producers put me and Bryce in a room, an interview room, the same one I was in when we first. got there yeah don't remember this part because it's like glimpses we cussed each other out or i cussed him out for 10 minutes i'll beat your ass i'll do this i even touch this face it's like the most cringy

awkward fucking shit ever i was like i don't let me put my penis in your throat like stupid shit like weird shit yes i was blacked out i was blacked out here's where shit gets interesting right i'm out kicking it around this mansion lost somewhere blacked out yeah somebody on the production crew i don't know who comes up to me and goes hey they're doing uh cast photos in that room go over there my welcome fusi's screen it doesn't matter so i i walked to that room i open the door yeah there's a camera recording me and the whole cast outside of bryson tan are standing right there behind the green screen facing that way so they don't see me opening this door what are they doing they're doing a testimonial on camera talking shit about me.

Oh, Yusuf is so drunk. This dude's crazy. This dude's psycho. He begs for, like off the rails type of shit. My reaction blacked out is that shit's funny, though.

So I walk up to them. They don't know I'm behind them. I'm standing right behind them. One girl turns around, sees me, screams because she gets scared and moves. And everybody sees me. They're terrified. Me and one of the girls

start going at it verbally back and forth. Yeah. And I'm just saying, saying like bullshit like just talking on my ass bullshit bullshit bullshit now i take full accountability for this moment and i and i even owned it in the moment and it's on the fucking recording of the show i did the stupidest thing i think i've ever done in my entire life like hands down i've done a lot of stupid things but this one just takes the this one takes the cake yeah because sober me and why i realized i was in a sober me would never do something like this

Drunk Yusuf, drunk foosie would I'm talking to the girl Imagine this is her head I go, shut the fuck up Are you like kind of mushed her? I pushed her forehead like that I go shut the fuck up And then she pushes mine

Right World War fucking two They One girl runs in Yon Yusuf no You don't touch a girl Everybody yelling you don't touch you And I'm just like well

And you see it in the show My consciousness this and I really go like you know when you don't know what you're doing I go oh what what did I do I did oh and I start apologizing yeah they kick me out the room I go to the room I go they didn't show this but I lay down to go to sleep five minutes later I wake up and I go into the room where the rest of the cast is sleeping I'm laying down I lay down on a bed yeah Bryce walks in dude you're fucking psycho I'm blacked out belligerent slurring why what did I do you put your hands on a woman you did this to a woman da da da da i start saying shit tim that doesn't even make sense so

you you see you know all this too about it because if you're blacked out you can't really recognize it but you're because you're seeing it on camera no i because i've told the story even while i was in rehab so i knew what happened it's like i had that vague recollection the only thing that was different based on what the story i told in rehab and what actually happened was the words that came out and how they edited it so i'm blacked out because i didn't have any i wasn't conscious in the moment of recollecting everything but after hearing the stories and remembering it like you get those glimpses that pop back into your head but watch it watch it you can clearly see this dude's fucking gone gone so this dude being you me yeah so i'm laying on the bed without i was talking to brice

on next thing i know the girl whose forehead i touched yeah touched like pushed away wrong in every capacity but i want to say the difference and i'll say why i'm saying that difference that girl comes in guess who's bed i was accidentally laying on the girl I don't know if they showed this on the show, but the first thing she said is, get the fuck off my bed. Okay. I stand up, I go like this. I go up to her. I go, yo, I'm belligerent.

I'm drunk, but I end up saying, I'm fucking sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry for disrespecting you. Not that clearly and enunciated because I was drunk, but I said, I'm fucking sorry. If what I did was wrong, I'm sorry. Now, any friend, any good friend, this is no disrespect. Bryce or anybody, but anybody, like, if you were there, I know you as a person. Your ass specifically would have carried me up, grabbed me like this, carried me, took me in

another room to protect me in my career, and said, go to fuck to sleep. Yeah, you fucked up. You fucked up. Yeah. Because I know I did. Yeah. I just finished apologizing, taking full accountability. Literally, it's on fucking camera on the show.

I take accountability. I apologize to her. She even goes like this. She goes, no, you didn't just touch me. you did this and she does it three times to get me to understand and I let her forcefully push my head I go okay okay I got it it's done Bryce then takes the moment and looks at me and goes don't you ever lay your hands on or assault a woman ever again I go see I was I was apologizing I was good with it but I wasn't okay with the words assault yeah assault a woman right

So I looked at him and this is all edited in the show and everything. I'm like, I'm like, right. And then I end up doing another stupid thing. It's something you just don't do in brocode, but you also don't punch a guy friend in brocode. I look at Bryce. I point at him in the face drunk.

Or I touched him. I don't remember. I think I touched him because in the show they were saying I touched him. And I said, you're lucky I don't tell the world what I know about you. Yeah. That triggered it. I'm not going to say what I know. I'm not going to say what I'm holding on to.

So then Bryce starts antagonizing me. What do you know? What do you know? Me, even belligerent, says, I don't know. I don't know. Bryce snaps. Pushes me. You hear me on the show say,

don't touch me, Bryce, and I'm walking towards him. As I'm walking towards him, hands down, not confrontational, not about to swing. Dink. Yeah. Clean shot. I hit the ground. They edited this part, what they didn't show.

everybody left the room left me unconscious on the ground for a long period of time on the show they made it seem like the producers ran in they didn't they left me on the ground all they did they care they they got me up they walked me on a couch and I I woke up eight hours later my face out to here confused days and everything I wake up my phone still in my pocket don't remember a single fucking thing didn't even know I got punched the day before yeah too bad he couldn't get Austin with that shit in my darkest moment. I got to tell me. He just got a way to do it, man. So I walk to the bathroom and I see two of the producers. I'm like, yeah, what's up, man? Where's the bathroom? Like, what happened last night?

They looked shook. I'm like, what happened? They're like, um, Yusuf, you were involved in a physical altercation. We have to send you home. Physical altercation? I've never gotten into a fight with my light. Like, who did I get into physical altercation with?

Um, Bryce, he knocked you out. You would think by hearing that I'm mad. Like, oh, let me go find Bryce. Oh, like, Bryce? I was like, I was drunk. Let me go talk to him. I promised you we'll be fine. Did Bryce get taken home too?

Oh, okay. I go, I promise you will be fine. Let me go talk to him. They go, no, no, no, trust me. Because they thought it was like real beef. Yeah. 7 a.m. Door opens.

Uber waiting outside. I go home. I pass out the entire Uber ride. I get home. I go sleep into bed. I wake up at 5 p.m. I have a text from Bryce. Ha, ha.

No hard feelings, bro. But last night was pretty crazy. Dot, dot, dot. I call him. Yo, Bryce, what happened? Oh, you showed up. You were wasted to this reality show. You put your hands on a woman.

I let him say it this time. I didn't, I didn't like try to correct anything again. You put your hands on a woman. And then he didn't say it. And then three minutes later into the conversation, he goes, you know I knocked you out, right? I was like, I know, Bryce. I know.

But I had already released it. I knew there was an issue bigger than that. So I hang up from Bryce. First thing I do, I call my manager. And I go, John, I fucked up. Now, you would think a manager in this situation would call, like, how am I going to get my client out of this bad predicament? Yeah. Right?

Thank God. And this is why managers are so fucking important in your career. I have a manager who, A, makes enough money from other clients, but B, cares about me as a person first. He called a guy for help, but not for help to get out of the situation. He called a guy and said, hey, I've been managing Yusuf for the last year. literally a week and a half ago however long it was he got blacked out at the jake paul fight in cleveland he almost got in a fight with a fan five feet away from dave chappelle and we had to take that fan's camera and delete the footage he gets in problems every time he drinks he's also

suffering from severe depression anxiety da da da da da the guy goes i'm willing to help yous if he's willing to help himself this is a this is a rehab thing no i didn't know i just knew it was a guy Okay. So then John goes, Are you willing to help yourself? I go, yeah, they send a therapist to my house on Sunday. She talks to me for three hours. That's Sunday after the fight.

Yeah. It had a fight happened Friday, I think. Sunday they sent a therapist to my house. Yeah. I also got checked out at the hospital. I had symptoms of a concussion, all that shit. So then I go, um, the therapist talks to me for three hours. She gets up.

She was, wow, man. I tell her my whole life story, everything, not just the incident on the reality show. She gets up. She leaves. She goes, we'll tell you what our plan is tomorrow. I wake up that next day at two. at 2 p.m. I call John. Hey John, I'm ready to find out what the plan is.

Oh, Yusuf, we've actually been talking all morning. You're going to rehab in Pennsylvania. Pack your bags. Yeah. Now, 10 out of 10 times, I would have said, fuck no. Fuck no. Why did you decide to go this time? That's the thing.

I was ready to accept change because the second he said that, it wasn't even, oh, I get it. I'll go to rehab so people think I got better. the second he said it tears came down my face and i knew i needed change my i just knew it my soul was tired i was tired i was tired after my manic episode i wanted to go to rehab more than anything but for financial reasons i pussed out this year i didn't even ask how much it was before going and it was a lot of fucking money and i went i cried i called two of my best friends that came over they helped me pack the next day i was on a plane i fly to rehab i tried to leave the first day but I stuck it out

and it was the best decision I ever made in my fucking life what do you learn like what is it like so first of all I want to say I think rehab would help every single person in life whether they have an addiction or not

I think just just any human it would help the fundamentals you learn so for me what I learned growing up starting in the fame lifestyle at 21 doing world tours all that shit uh an assistant to make my bed not having to do shit by myself aside from wipe my ass at 21 at 21 i didn't learn life like a normal 20 year old should so i learned the basics of the basics starting from literally making my own fucking bed in the morning yeah little shit so as rehab went on and i'm there's no phone

No social media. Sounds amazing. I went into rehab with 20-hour daily average screen time. My average screen time now is four hours or less. Damn. And if I'm on my phone, it's because I'm using the Nike Run Club app or a mindfulness app or audible or something like that, not social media. So you learn the basic fundamentals of fucking life. One, you get to detach from the disgusting toxic lifestyle we have grown to love and yearn and get our validation from.

which is social media for the first time in 10 years i didn't have a phone in my pocket i couldn't reach for it i also gave up vapes as soon as i got there so not only that um and i i i just all those the little components of life i started picking up so i began to ask myself the first week into rehab i reflected on my life prior right before i had gone into rehab i said okay wait i used to go to sleep at 4 a.m. The last thing visually I would see is two porn stars having sex. I would jack off. There would be three meals of postmates by my bedside. I would go to, I would hit a vape right before I sleep. I would wake up mid-afternoon, 2, 4 p.m. The first thing I would do is hit a vape upon waking up. Oh, I wonder why I was so miserable. Because I convinced myself that I needed

Adderall to have energy. That's why I would take it. That's why I take Adderall. I convinced myself that me as a human had no energy left in my system without adderall what did i learn in rehab oh you're telling me if i go to sleep at a proper hour wake up at a proper hour eat healthy i'll have more energy than i've ever had before yeah basic shit basic shit that i didn't know and i didn't have time to fucking slam on the brakes in this fast lifestyle i was chasing here's a deal though too man just so you know it's fair like even people listening not just because you were like a really super like absurdly successful 21 year old people listening who even don't even have like any of that kind of shit it's still relative like that stuff

still happens to people where they they miss out on the basic things and they they're wondering like why they're at where they're at because they haven't like fully built those basic blocks and like I can even say you know as a fucking 32 year old how do you know 31 31 there's still things that I'm learning to this day that like I need to become better at that I need to get a better handle on in my life and like excuse me it's it's I just want to say to the people listening this is the thing that's I find really important we're going to kind of talk about this in a little bit I could tell it's going there is the timing in life right your timing for which you finally figure out like if this is truly your time you're like oh shit like some shit's kind of

starting to click but like I know the direction I need to start to go in and won't have these drastic up and downs you have to understand in people listening and you too man it's like it's completely normal and fine to not have that figured out at at this exact point in time but as long as you're trying to figure out is the fucking key yeah and always trying because yeah because it seemed like when you were younger it's like you were so fixated on just having the success losing it and then trying to get it back and losing it and trying to get it back that you were never looking at just those basic things in your life that had that allowed you to create you to structure okay that's a great point because not only structure what it didn't allow me to do was

and i learned this in rehab was i would always try to get validation and fill the holes we all have holes inside us i would try to fill the holes through stuff like money sex cars clothes validation outside shit yeah not realizing like wait i my mom asked me to go on walks all the time And I say no my sister calls me to ask how I'm doing my nieces love swimming with me my niece and nephews love swimming with me that shit is what could fill my holes but what I'm closing my eyes to and not accepting everything I'm looking for in life I already have yeah just like all our talents we already possess we just have to know we have them and believe in it yeah everything I needed in life I already had all that extra shit getting an extra 10,000 likes on Instagram because I think

it'll make me happier, an extra $10,000 this month because I think it'll make me happier, that shit's never going to make me happy and it's always going to be a never-ending chase. Because the second I get it, you want more. I want more. Yeah. But my family, all right, I want more love. They'll give me it. So, so when did you start to see this, though?

Rehab. Rehab. But like what things in rehab taught you that that, like, finally allowed you to see it instead of just be like, because I was telling you this kind of shit for, years exactly what my brother said but you don't didn't click why did it click in rehab oh man i don't i love the concept because i trust me man there's moments where i'm like fuck the social media shit's too much i need to yeah take a break it it really okay so so much happened in rehab like each like the 30 days i spent in rehab felt like 16 years what like life felt longer because days were not like days outside of rehab fly by a year flies by and you're like oh my god it's new year's

already nothing happened yeah because you didn't do anything this year a lot of shit happens on a fucking year you know or you focused on the wrong thing yeah and your time flies fast but in rehab no phone no tv no social media no nothing all you had was time with yourself so you had to experience real life so grand awakenings happened there i was reading books things were happening so each day I would like there would be a bigger learning point whether it be what I learned in that seminar that day there was classes every day you're busy the whole entire day yeah seminars group meetings therapists like hiatus this that or the other and I would learn different things every day for example because I learned so many different things what did I learn about food I went into rehab

at 220 pounds yeah 220 fucking pounds what do you weigh right now 174 he lost a lot of weight a lot of weight And let me tell you how my association and relationship with food changed for the first time in my entire life. So the food at rehab started getting disgusting. So one day I was like, you know what? I'm going to do a water fast today. I've read about them online. I'm going to try a water fast. So I did a water fast that day.

You only drink water. That's it. And black coffee, black. Like no cream, no sugar, no other thing. Second day comes and I'm like, you know what? I don't think I'm going to eat today. I'm just going to try water. Two days, 48 hours, nothing but water.

Third day, I wake up. You know what? 72 hours sounds better than 48 hours. I'm going to do it again. That day we decided to have, they decided to give us Nashville chicken sandwiches. Oh, shit. It was my real test.

I ate those bitches. So I walked to the cafeteria with my guys. We're sitting there and I sit there and I make each one of them take a bite and tell me how it was at a 10. And then I walked out and I left Later on that night What was it out of ten? Like a seven Oh, it's not worth

Food was always seven at rehab They always gave it a seven It wasn't a ten Yeah, if they said ten I would have caved in They said seven I said it's not worth it Okay So I go home that day

Where I'm just chilling in the lounge One of the guys went to the gift shop On that Friday We went before it closes till Monday And bought every single bag of chips They have My biggest biggest Cryptonitis chips

Family-sized bags Yeah, I eat the whole thing Exactly Every time The problem with me, just like alcohol, if I take a sip, I'm going to get blacked out. If I take one chip, I'm eating the whole bag. Yeah, that's a fact in my life. So I couldn't even have one, right?

So that's where it really happened. I go into the other room. I start hyperventilating for a bag of chips. Well, you also are, it's not like you didn't have food for a few minutes. Yeah, but this chips made me having an emotional breakdown. One of the guys had to come in and talk to me out of it. You said, relax, you got this. You know, you're doing so good.

You're strong. You got this, right? Did he know it was about chips? Yeah. Okay. Because I was like, he thought it was like about some mother shit. No.

Imagine he's like, he's like, he's trying to console you because he thinks they're worried about like leaving rehab or something. You're like, that's the chips, bro. No, he knew it was chips. Because here's the thing,

though, that bag of chips you could replace with anything in life as an addict. I see what you're saying. Could have been a bottle of alcohol that I was craving, needing. Remember that need I told you about? Yeah. I needed this chip,

Bradley. Yeah. I needed this chip. Just like I need a nut. When I want to need a nut or I need alcohol, I needed it. This is the addiction. This is the addiction. So I went to sleep instead, took a nap.

I woke up, I missed a seminar, I got in trouble, ended up going to sleep again that night, woke up that next morning. That next morning when I woke up, that need for the chip, that desire, that burning, everything was gone. And I was fine. And I wasn't even hungry. I reached the stage of euphoria of the water fast. Yeah. But what it taught me right there and then was, if my gas tank, and this is, again, the most basic fucking principle of life. I'm not talking about counting your macros now, even though now I do count my macros as a guy who follows a keto lifestyle.

But what it taught me was if you're, if the gas in your car is full and you're on a drive, you're not going to stop on the side of the road to fill up gas again until it goes down. So if I just ate a meal and I'm full, why would I stuff myself even more when I'm already full? that's how I get fat so then I told myself the only time I'm going to supply myself with nutrients and food is when my body asks for it not when I want it out of to console a feeling

so I finally started what you're supposed to do in life oh I'm a little lethargic and tired my my sugar levels are probably down let me get this let me get that let me get this and started putting the right things into my body so that that day that I broke my fast on the fourth day

all I had fruit the next day fruit and a salad from that point on my life changed and my eating change so in rehab I was getting little wins like that but those little wins compound into such fucking big wins where for the first time I had 30 days to just reevaluate and restructure my life and turn it into a normal functioning human being of society so okay here's a deal then because because like people like me people like your brother been telling you this kind of shit for years yeah do you think it was the fact that you had no other distractions other than to focus on those things that allowed you to actually change. Oh yeah, yeah. If I like had I been had I not gone into rehab and just said

got knocked out by Bryce, I'm an alcoholic time to change my life. I'm going to zoo culture tomorrow and I'm going to work out and I'm going to eat healthy and I would have failed like I did a thousand other times. I've been trying to quit vaping for five years. Why? The one time I go to rehab for 30 days, It's now been over 90. I haven't touched a single vape. I used to go through three vapes a fucking day, those many disposable ones. So fucked, yeah.

You needed time to make it a real habit is what it sounds like. Yes. I love that you said that because everything in life that I'm realizing now goes down to habit. What are you consistent with? People ask me, just like they always ask you now, how'd you do it so fast?

How'd you do it? What do you eat? It all goes down to consistency. It's doing something that, doing something of greatness on a consistent basis every day every fucking day or at least where it's like the majority of your day so right now i've been dying to go into this new boxing gym that i found that i want to start training at but i haven't been going consistently i haven't been going i haven't gone once so consistently i haven't gone so that's that's that's what i do not go

what do i need to do to start going go on a consistent basis to make it a habit yeah Just like the gym now. God damn. My momentum is the pendulum swinging. So my momentum is going. I can't miss a day in the gym now. I can't miss a run. I'm training for a half marathon right now.

I just finished 10K. Training the fight price eventually, right? You know my ego told me that was what I was going to do when I was in rehab? I was like, I'm going to get out of this. I'm going to post a YouTube because I thought my career was done once they aired that I got knocked out by Bryce. But it really, thank God, I got myself mentally strong. And I'll tell you how I learned to be mentally strong. I finally had the realization in rehab

because in rehab you have to believe in higher power a lot of people confuse that with God it doesn't have to be God it's whatever you believe is hiring bigger than yourself something greater than yourself could be the way you love your mother that could be your higher power just something bigger than yourself

so and if you believe in your higher power then you believe that everything happens for a reason everything happens as it should everything that unfolds so then it started getting me asking wait than anything good or bad that happened in my life i shouldn't be mad at because it was supposed to happen absolutely they would say exactly and i had a trouble understanding it so one day my 28th day we have i'm sitting i'm sitting in the lounge and anxiety hit me i was like oh my god

when i get out of here a month after i get out they're going to air brice knocking me out a b and c is going to happen this is going to happen this person's going to say and i start creating the story i go into the counselor's room and i start panicking and then i go wait but if everything happens as it should and good or bad I'm supposed to learn from it and it's part of the process of my higher power then it's kind of like I'm standing I could like the show could air but I could be standing in a ring of fire the fire being the commenters and everybody cussing out and hating on me the only difference is I don't feel the heat and I'm okay with what's happening she smiles I mean she goes exactly I go oh shit so when that thing aired it was was like any other day i was like cool my ego would have been destroyed i would have been destroyed had i not got help but yusuf as a person was good and that's the distinction between fusi got destroyed that day my persona people gunned him down that day yeah you woman beater you abuser you a b and c yusuf was smiling because i know i'm getting better every single day and now i look at

that punch getting punched by bryce i want to thank bryce yeah for whatever reason he did it for whatever reason he did it thank you that changed my life I'm just so surprised it is that it's finally at this point. But again, it's, it's, it's, it's, there's no right time for this to actually be a reality. There's some dude seven years old in rehab with me. That when you went. Seven years old. What was he in rehab for?

Everybody a different thing. You don't know what he was in for? Did he ever tell you? I mean, I guess you're not supposed to really say it. You're not supposed to say it. He was, everyone was in for a different thing. Okay. But literally a different thing.

One guy wasn't even supposed to be there. He got conned by his family to come. I called him the godfather. My favorite guy. I was, I told him. I was, Like, if you were my dad in real life, I would love you. He was this old Jewish man, hair slick bag, buttons open to hear, had a cigar in his mouth

every day. Maybe that's why he was supposed to be there for his cigar. No, no, no. He was so dope, though. He was worth like $100 million, too. How would they get him there? It's a long story. Yeah.

So you think this is it? You think you figured it out? So the thing that I'm doing differently now than I always used to do, whenever I used to, well, I never used to try to get better. Like I said, I always used to try to get my ego better, my fame better, my money better. Now I'm actually working on me. Like, anything I post on social media now is about my sobriety because that's the only thing I care about right now. It's the only thing I'm pointing to me in life right now.

But the difference that I'm doing and the biggest thing in life, I always used to look at like a lot of times in rehab, every guy would complain. Oh my God. You're telling me I can never drink again? It's very difficult when you think about it that way. but it's much easier when you say i choose not to drink today yeah one day at a time yeah and when when when you are a person like me and you asked me this earlier who lives in the far future and the far past that's hard but when i start grounding myself and living day by day man my life exponentially got better what the fuck finally made that click for you bro right

it was like what moment what moment 31 years years of experience all of it cumulatively i don't know all of it at one like all of it it wasn't so one girl oh my god so i i was hanging out with this girl post rehab right while i was spending time in philly because i was going to move to philly where my sisters i love philly and i was hanging out with um this friend that we know right and i'm obviously i i'm not shameful of saying i went to rehab i got help in what my thing was yeah there's no shame in that i tell her the story and i tell her the Bryce story. Yeah. She gets terrified. She literally looks at me and goes, why would you tell me that? And I was like, because I wanted to tell you what got me to be this person. And then she goes,

but you're saying that happened in September. I go, yeah. She goes, it's only been two months. Nobody can change that fast. I laughed. And I said, I didn't change in two months. I go, I've been learning for 30. You weren't you for three months. what the rehab no rehab was one month and then um post rehab continues after that but i was like i've been learning for 31 fucking years two months ago i had another wake-up call but i've been learning these lessons and these you know these trials and tribulations for 31 years didn't happen overnight it didn't happen in two months it's not like the first bad incident of my life happened two months ago and now i'm like i'm changed i've been going through bad shit for so long

I've had enough to learn It's like It's like The real thing should be Haven't you had enough? Yeah Haven't he learned? No, I get it man

I mean it's it's kind of like the conversation I was had with Mike It's just it's from like an actual Your actual perspective of The other side of it Where you have been You've gone through so many things But you kept failing to recognize your lessons

And you kept failing to recognize them Until you finally were like Oh shit enough is enough The punch is symbolic like the, you know, the rehab is just a way for you to start creating that 30 day, like actual creating a habit thing. And like you said, the most important thing I think that you learn from that and you've taken away from that is that that idea of today I'm not having a drink, you know, or today I'm not doing that thing that I know makes me a little bit shittier, a little bit shittier,

and then you do that and you make that choice, you make that choice. And you're constantly now reminding yourself to make the good choice. And that's the beautiful thing, man. I think for everyone listening, that is the most important thing. you go the food that you know you shouldn't be eating the alcohol you know you shouldn't be drinking the tobacco you know you shouldn't be smoking the drug you shouldn't be doing every time you say right now I'm not going to do it that's what matters and then the next moment I'm not going to do it you know you you reach to go get it you go no I'm not going to do it that's what makes it change yeah and that's what makes it change for good yeah and and that's the

thing man with or without that thing like all of our lives are like that with everything we want to accomplish like we want to become the greatest that anything and that's the interesting thing that I know about you is you became one of the greatest YouTubers at one point in your life, one of the most popular, most subscribe YouTubers. Because you did that same thing. You were just unaware of it. That's the reality is like, this is a really important thing to make note. So you get this too.

We are making these choices, whether they're conscious or they're subconscious. Meaning like whether you know I'm making that choice, not drinking, like, I'm outwardly being like, I'm not doing that or like your subconscious is just like, it's not, you're already just, you're already knowing you're not doing it, right? You growing all the stuff you've done and all the YouTube shit that you've done over the years, you made those choices consciously

and subconsciously to get you to those points to fall off, to the points to fall off. Now you're just aware of your actual choices. That's what's so fucking important here. When you say, no, I'm not going to pick that up. You know, I'll go to that party, but if I go to that party, then I might drink, so I'm not going to go.

Yeah. Until you know to make the choice when you go there, you know that you can go there and not make that choice, right? You're just now becoming more aware of your choices. And for everyone listening, like, I can't stress this enough. This is happening in your life, whether, like, again, it's conscious and you're saying, no, I'm not, or your subconscious is leading you in a different direction and you're not

even near it. That's always been happening to you. You just finally recognized it. I love that. I love that. Because, like, I have a reminder every day. So, like I said, I'm a runner now. You know, I always used to be big on the gym and that's it, lifting.

Oh, yeah. Now I just run, right? I run my ass off. My ass off. I have, like, the Nike shoes, the fanny pants. the track everything it's so funny because when you told me you ran i was like fuck but like how the fuck did you get past like the first week because dog every time i go to run i'm like this shit ain't for me man exactly and that's all i do now but here's what's so funny about what you

just said every single day during my run every single time it never fails i have the same thought thank god i didn't vape today every day i don't vape but thank god i didn't vape today because if i did this run would be a whole lot harder yeah because when i used to vape i couldn't A lot of people are going to be like, oh, it doesn't affect you running. It affected mine, okay? Anything going into your lungs that much is going to affect you. You're talking about vaping, which anything you're vaping is affecting your lungs. But are you vaping tobacco or marijuana?

Nicotine. Yeah, that's. And weed. I used to have PNP, pen, everything. But nicotine 24-7. And every time I go on a run, I thank myself for not vaping that day because of how much better I did on that run. Yeah. Every day.

How many times I saw you take to vape, but you shouldn't smoke the vape all the time. Always. It's not stuff. It's funny how it's. always we, a lot of this shit, it's self-inflicted and we always wonder, like I said, this is what I was talking about on the mic, the mic podcast, like we, we get to some place in five years and we go, how did I get here? I don't know how I got here, but you got here by making that choice every single day. Yeah, you can only help, like, you know, you can only help

somebody if they want to help themselves. So all the times you tried to help me with the right advice, the right words, I don't want to help myself. So I didn't get help. Right now I want to help myself. I don't want to, I didn't like being that 31 year old on a reality TV show blacked out. touching a girl's forehead, getting knocked out by the most popular kid on the internet. That's not who I am. That wasn't in alignment with who I am as a person when I look in the mirror. That's Fusi, the guy everyone sees online, but that wasn't Yusuf. Like, there's a distinction.

I didn't want to be that guy anymore and I finally wanted to change. So are you ever going to be like out on the internet again, just as yourself? Not like that, no. But I mean, it's as yourself. Okay, so what I want to do now is, it's funny you ask that or say that because I was going to say this earlier. Like no more bullshit, Fusi, too. No, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing for views. Nothing for, and I know people are going to be like he said that before. My actions are going to show you. The only reason you're hearing right now is because I'm on a podcast and you're supposed to talk. And I'd rather show you with my actions. So I know you're not going to check on my career. But if I come back in a year's time, then it'll be my test of judgment. But whenever my whole career, first of all, I'll say this really quickly. I want it to be an actor, right? And I want it to be famous. Why did I want to be an actor and want to be famous? Because, because I felt so guilty and shameful for who I was as the addict who snuck into massage parlors

who couldn't last long in sex, being an actor was a way to get the entire world to think and love me for something that I wasn't in order for me to love myself, although I lived a miserable existence. So, my entire queer, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. The intention of that is true. I do love helping people and loving helping people with my voice, but the problem was had I become a motivational speaker in the past, although I've given countless motivational speeches is you were really living it exactly i could go on stage preach to the choir as soon as

the curtains close i'm living a miserable existence what i learned in rehab now is if i keep this up and i can be a year sober i can walk to walk and talk to talk and i can actually be a motivational speaker and i have enough god damn stories to help change people's lives that people can relate to and that's what i want to do now yeah i literally learned in a rehab i called my mentor i called my manager i said i don't want to do anything i'm doing the boxing stuff now because i I have a passion for boxing. Me and Kim Star have a promotional company. We signed a deal with a company.

We're going to host boxing events all next year. But what do I want to do for my lifelong goal? And I say this every single morning is my affirmation. I know everybody has been given a gift and talent into this world. My gift is the ability to speak and help people emotionally, physically and spiritually. And God, please grant me the opportunity to help. Yeah. That's all I want to do.

Use my voice to help. That's it. think I can if I can stay sober one day at a time or now I'm at day 96 one day at a time and I get to a year I'm gonna try to use my voice well you gotta be the proof right you can't exactly like you can't like you can't like you can't be like yeah stay in school kids and be the one who's like never in school right exactly exactly so with less words man like I I definitely I want that for you man I want the best for you and I've it's actually crazy how long I've known you and how many like ups and downs and I've I've been behind I message you

behind the scenes like see how you're doing it's it's it's cool to see you actually in this light and speaking like this i've never actually had a conversation with you like this that was as genuine and as real i'd say i've been hearing that from a lot of people everybody who's been seeing me and that's been so gratifying not for the ego but for the for the for the self just because i feel it i feel different when i wake up in the morning and i take muffin for a walk and i pack my gym bag and i go running and I shave in the morning and I go to sleep early and I eat the right food choices. I feel it. So everybody who's seen me recently, the first thing they've said, not like I could be wearing

a really expensive outfit. They look straight past that and go, you look good. You look happy. Well, I'm just proud of you, man. It seems like you really are genuine and trying. And that's all any of those. Man, you've been throwing gems out there, trying. That's the word right there.

Well, that's all it's about. That's all it's about. There's nothing else we could really do. but that right like everyday trying and that's genuinely all that we're really really capable of yeah as much as we wanted to be a certain way we think oh it's got to be like there so i got to have that or i'm supposed to have this none of that matters man none of that has ever mattered though yeah it's always just about trying like when i saw my my most success and when i felt my most success was when i was just doing things that like i just genuinely loved doing and i and i

felt good doing them and and sometimes like this podcast like it may not be the thing that gets the most views or the most engagement or the most likes but I genuinely like doing it I love it yeah I've enjoyed sitting here I don't even know how much time I'm sure a lot of time it has but it's felt great yeah and we didn't talk about this and I will just say it as we're uh it feels like we're closing I don't go on social media anymore and that's been a you did briefly but yeah that's been a huge huge huge reason as to why I'm becoming the way that I'm becoming hands down You think social media has fucked up your perception? 100%.

Do you think it's affected a lot more, a lot of people that way? Yes. Yeah. I mean, it does, bro. It wears on me. I'm not going to lie to you. Just even open, I can't, even opening stories could ruin my entire day without subconsciously, like you said, without even wanting it to.

Yeah. Comparison is the thief of happiness. You go through somebody's stories, oh, fuck, they're on a yacht on a Tuesday with their shirt off with 10 hot girls around them, but I'm sitting right here at my, dead end job doing nothing with this big beer belly my life sucks a girl opens up another thing a girl showing off her perfect the cellulite free ass because of her instagram pictures but my ass is full of cellulat i don't have that oh my god i'm not good enough it's always comparison that shit could drain the soul right out of you the best way i said it in rehab and i'm so glad i remember

because i want people to hear this what my phone was to me remember dementors and harry potter that sucked the soul out of you, my phone staring at it, literally sucks the soul out of me. But why do you allow it to do that? That's the bigger question. Because, like, you can use these things for good as well. Because we give it that power. Social media has given it that power. Like, it has, but you give it more of that power.

You specifically. And we, people listening, like we, it's our choice, though, to give it that power. It's not just me, though. No, for sure. It's not just you. Because now I don't give it that power just says you don't. But the past version of me is sure so many other people, they do give it that power. And that's why I told every therapist in rehab,

I was like, if you think you have a lot of people coming in now with issues, wait until this next generation of kids who grow up on their cell phones, start getting of age to realize they have problems. You guys are going to get... I mean, listen, I'm not saying I don't have any issue with social media in the comparison, right? We all do. But it's not just comparison. Like, the length, this goes on and on and it's like just the amount of what it takes from you every day,

the focus. Like, there's a ton of shit that goes on. Bro, when I used to get like, if one picture gets 70,000 likes and my next picture gets 20,000 likes, that shit did something to me. actually. Yeah, it's not good. Of course not. It's horrible.

You'll learn to let it go. But you're right about that. I think, dude, I think in the next 10 years, anyways, anyone listening, if you want to get into a good job, be a therapist. Because in the next 10 years, you're going to be fucking rolling with you, though. Social media is like, it's a, it's a blessing and a curse, man. It's a double a sword. It's a drug.

It's a real drug. It's a drug. Especially when you start getting followers, you get a little bit of likes and it just fucking twist your reality. And now I look at it with such. different eyes for the first time in my 12 years on it, I look at it differently. And I just, and I see how much it affects people. It's just insane.

Yeah. One thing I learned in rehab also is, because I knew I was like, although I'm having all these great changes and epiphanies, when I get back to L.A., my friends, who it's their careers, their livelihoods, their jobs, you can't expect them to change and be different. And that's when I finally learned, you can only clean your side of the street. You can never clean somebody else's side of the street. Always, man. Another basic principle I didn't know.

Yeah. Because you always want to change everyone and everything. Finally realizing I could sweet my side, whatever Brad chooses to do on his side, that's his side. Yeah. And that little thing. It's such a basic principle. It is hard to accept that too, though. It is hard.

Not even just in French, but just relationships and wanting someone to be different. Hell yeah. You know, in relationship too, you want them to give you the things that you feel like, you know, you want from them and they want things in a different way. Yeah. But that's, this is the most interesting thing about just human nature. It's like we can never always. always get it right or the way we want it right but like the way we're really supposed to have it like you're learning we'll eventually have it truly man anyways dude i'm proud of you i love you

i appreciate you i love you i want to say one last thing go for i told you in the beginning i wanted to end it with something yeah go for it so you made a comment in the you didn't make it but you made a comment that everybody makes in the beginning you said um people always say like oh how many times is he going to do this you know yeah for sure so When I got better this time, as I when I do every single time, I got immediate tweets, immediate Instagram comments, immediate messages. Oh, you piece of shit, this is the hundredth time you've done this. Like, how many times are you going to do this? Like, I don't believe you.

My response to that is, my response to that is, my response to that is, I'm going to do it as many fucking times as I need to. because no matter how many times I fail, the important part is to get back up. Would you rather I fail, sit down on the ground, cry, give up, you never hear from me again? No, that's giving into defeat. My philosophy in life is try, grind, succeed, fail, get up. Try, grind, succeed, fail, get up. Because all these failures are going to get me to be a better version of myself. I'm evolving each time.

like in a relationship if you get your heartbroken at 18 by the time you're 24 a heartbreak feels a lot different but if the first time you got your heartbroken is at 24 good luck because you're gonna experience with the person at 18 already experienced who has how many years of experience on top of you so I'm gonna get up every single fucking time that's my answer yeah I'm never gonna lay down and that's the way it's supposed to be exactly that's it people don't get it of course I mean they're gonna say whatever they want to say but that's just the internet man and a lot of times like that's It's not about you. That's about their own self-reflection and they pointed at you and you let it go. Huge, huge. You just have to let it go no matter what it is. But we're all fighting a battle. We're all trying to become better, man.

That's it. And dude, I'm fucking proud of you. I think, again, this is the one time I've spoken to you where I feel like there's a real genuine change. I hope so, man. One day out of time. Yeah, we'll see. I'll give you a year.

I love you, though. I love you, man. For real. Thanks for coming on. Are we not going to do audience questions? Oh, yeah, we can throw some questions there. Fuck it. I typed it on the screen for a reason.

Oh, I didn't see it. I was so into this conversation that, okay. Yeah, give us some questions. They ask questions? Yeah, yeah, we get. Okay, okay. Nothing specific about you, right? Okay, okay, okay.

These are just general questions that they have. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So where can they, hold on. Where can they send us those questions? So we can answer. Those questions you could send it to ask, we're all talk at gmail.com. Bam, baby, let's go.

Okay. All right, so the first question is, what's your advice for someone like me where I feel no emotion at all? I'm not depressed, just feel no emotion. I tried to find something I, I enjoy and it doesn't work. Whoa.

So if you genuinely feel like you feel no, like zero emotion, you're depressed. That's what, to me, that's when I felt my most, when I felt depressed, I felt nothing. I wasn't like happy. I was, I was just, I was indifferent about everything. And everything that I did felt really like, doesn't matter. Fuck it. I don't really care. I'm just doing things.

I'm just doing things. And I didn't have emotion around it. I was just doing things because they needed to be. be done and that was it and I wasn't happy I wasn't sad I think that is a true sign of depression so I don't know this person specifically and I'm sorry you're going through that I would try and seek some help like genuinely I really would I don't know do you have a different take on that I googled this before one time I said what happens if I don't laugh or have fun around friends I was like I feel nothing and like the thing that I get outside of your own head you could be in your head

too much you're thinking too much about yourself think about others and other things and make it less about yourself and you start opening up more to the world around you if that makes that interesting yeah maybe yeah maybe the person is too like my dad is always depressed because he's always thinking about himself like what he has going on what he has going on what's being done for him like my mom told him when we were in the car my niece was in the car oh my sister got us tickets to lego land my dad's response is oh fuck i hit lego land i looked at my dad i said baba it's not for you it's for naya yeah he didn't realize that so you think about others you'll you'll open up more that's a good point yeah yeah yeah hell yeah give us another question all right

that's a really good point so the other question is let's see where is it i just lost it sorry no worries you're good these raga raga i'm saying raw talk rag ear these are the shit i swear the chugs the chugs are sick yeah okay so it says what are your thoughts on alpha males and females versus beta males and females how these different types of people help or hinder the world that's interesting i mean it's a weird question there's there's shitty people there's good people and they help the world and they hurt the world but like if that is also the world right I think there's a problem with someone who a female or male doesn't matter who's alpha in the sense of alpha and only to make someone who is maybe in their eyes less alpha feel like

less of a person or like identify their baitiness right like so if someone's like oh I'm big tough guy I'm alpha a true alpha doesn't tell other people that they're not alpha to a true alpha doesn't make other people feel like they're inferior so it depends on what type of alpha right because there's so many this is a whole spectrum of like how a person might be but someone who's truly alpha whether be male or female they don't make other people feel lesser or little right they'll lift people up so i think there can be shitty people in the world who are like yeah i'm the man and then they but them being and feeling like the man is only in making other people feel smaller feel lesser feel and that's not a true alpha so i mean i don't really know

exactly where they wanted us to go with this question but i just feel like if you're really truly an alpha person you help other people there's There's no other way around that, whether it's you help them through, you know, teaching them something or showing them the way you're, you're, if you truly feel like that's who you are as a person, it's in service than to other people, not into making other people feel worse. So that's my take on it. That was great. Yeah. Give us another one. Okay. So this person says, hey, yo, I have a question. I'm the most chillest dude. I love that. Yeah. They're like, I'm the most chillest dude you'd ever meet like zero anxiety. It's going to be about girls. Like I literally don't. I don't give a fuck about anything, but my wife has a ton of anxiety and she struggles every day. How can I help her get through her anxiety day to day? And what are the odds that, you know, you guys can help me out with this. I'm going to jump into this one.

I think you should start with joining her with meditation practices. So instead of being like, oh, babe, you should meditate, you know, and just giving her that suggestion, download the calm app, put her on the screen, get a nice little pillow set up going on on the ground be like babe come over here sit down try this with me sit down and start meditating with her while listening to the calm app 15 minutes have her focus on her breathing show her that you're doing it with her breathe in breathe out help her release her anxiety you can even do it more than once a day and show her that you're a part of that and eventually like i've seen it help me it'll help you know change in your wife and do other you could do other things with her yoga go for runs basically what i'm saying is join her on her

quest to beat her anxiety and what she's trying to do 100% i will also recommend i would say not always when they're in it like when someone like i for example when i have really bad anxiety if someone's there and they're like talking to me i need that and i appreciate that but how you help someone truly like develop themselves so that they can avoid being in those deeper situations is by like when it's not a problem when she's not having anxiety you know when the person's not having anxiety that's when you invite them and be like hey let's try this meditation thing like if it's a problem and you're trying to fix it with the meditation thing like youself is explaining you can be helpful because like you're doing it with her that's that's the

very good calming part but like I think the practice in is you know when shit's all on fire like then you're putting all the fire out versus like let's just say there's no fire but you're still like hey let's practice this let's let's try not even let's practice let's set up things to if a fire does happen to minimize and marginalize that fire. But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying is, is the practice in doing it when it's not a fire. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, when everything's calm, you go up to your girl and be like, hey, babe, let's try this

meditation app out. And she's completely calm. You guys are both calm. She's not having her anxiety attack. And then she starts to feel more comfortable just in general with you, obviously. I mean, I'm sure she does, but she'll learn like these practices. That's the thing that, like, when I have really bad anxiety, I, because I got good at the meditation and the breathing outside of the anxiety I'm able to like snap my back

myself back to reality but I noticed when I only practice the meditation when I was having the anxiety it didn't work as well because I was trying to like bring myself in but I didn't I didn't develop like the actual habit of how to do it properly that's fire so anyways yeah like have her have you know you guys should do it together when it's not an issue and and like you said do it with her that is it's going to make her feel like oh this person's really here for me that's going And that's how you help someone with fucking anything, man. Don't go, go fix yourself. Like help them fix themselves,

especially if it's someone you love that you're married to and that you guys, you have a life together. You got to do your best in that. You got another one? Yeah, give us one more. I love these fucking questions,

by the way. I noticed it because you're like, give us another one. Give us another one. Yeah, one more. This is his favorite part. The questions are dope, man. Okay, so it says,

just want to say I've been a fan for 10 plus years now. Crazy to see how far you've come. They're going to know you for sure. I actually met you in the gym this year and we talked about COVID. Oh, shit. Who would have thought I finally met Bradley Maury and we could talk about COVID? Ha ha. Anyways, here is my question.

Similar to you, I grew up without a father majority of my life. I remember this. I never really had a role model that I looked up to. And because of that, I think I've always limited myself on what I thought I was capable of doing. I'm 25 and I truly feel like I have the ability to do great things. I just don't know what I'm. I'm called to be or do yet. What would be your advice to me and other people out there that may feel the same way?

You got an answer. I got an answer. You want to end it last since that person loves you? Yeah, yeah. Go for it. Okay. My answer is this. I think people always ask me what's the purpose of life.

I think what the purpose of life is. I think everybody's been given a gift, been given a talent on how to make the world a better place, on how to help others. and in order to fail at life or to not live your full potential, that should be your greatest fear. So I feel like your purpose is to find that gift and use it for the world. So I think, one, don't rush it. Don't chase the monetary value of what's going to get you money, but chase what you love, do what you love, and use it as a tool to help others. And thus by doing so, you'll do what you love every single day, which will then bring in the money, which will then give back to the world and make the world a better place.

place yeah that's perfect i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna um i'm gonna expand on this a little bit so guys listen um i had a conversation with a good friend of mine uh the other day and he said something really significant to me that made me be like holy fuck that is so damn true and you guys it's so important to understand this right life is about figuring it out every day like you said making that choice today i'm not going to do it right that's so relevant to this question i had no idea exactly what i wanted to do i had no idea that i was getting up today talking on podcasts and being able to make a living out of it i had no idea that i was going to be wildly successful on the internet and instagram and all this shit all i was doing and i've talked about this before

was trying to do more of the things that i love and more of the things that i enjoyed okay and i was and then i found success in that right and i had a really cool conversation with someone that i really respect and appreciate and he was like do you remember when you were doing it every day before you had success like before you had all the success you had now and every day you were doing it and it was fun and you enjoyed it and you were doing it and then you got that success and you almost were like we're at the top in a sense like you're at the top of like your success you start you know all the money comes in all the all the all the shit that like we're trying to capture and get on social media and he made me realize something that I thought is significant to this actual question

is like you get to that point and you realize it's the whole fucking journey that is actually the best part trying to get up there right so whatever it is that you think you want to do it you don't really have an idea yet do the things that you truly enjoy and try and figure out a way obviously like you know you can't make money feel like oh man I just like you know fucking I don't know fitness you can make money obviously but you you if your goal is to just make money you might find yourself in a weird position like the thing that I was most blessed with when I first started no one was doing it it wasn't like yo this is how you make money get on Instagram I was just doing the things that I thought were cool and that I enjoyed and I had fun doing

and I was like oh this is an opportunity oh this is an opportunity because of the things that I was enjoying and the things that I thought were fun and cool but my point is this part of this whole is just trying like just trying new things trying new things like I said that you're enjoying and then you can find yourself in a situation where you're like oh shit like that guy does the same thing that I'm enjoying and you know maybe he makes money over here he does he does a living doing this in like this like you know arm of that kind of thing whatever it is that you're doing but what you realize is this like that journey is the most fun part and what that what that made me realize to answer to this question was like just trying to figure this out is actually

The most important thing. Like, and even where I'm at in my life right now, I have all this stuff and I have all these things. But, bro, I still wake up every day and I just try to figure it out. And I'm still trying to figure it out. And I don't have, this is exactly what I'm going to do. This is exactly how I'm going to do it. And this is what's going to make me happy. And this is what's going to make me money.

I'm still just doing things that I'm like, oh, I really enjoy this. Let me do more of it. And there's going to be something you're doing in like three years from now that you would never have anticipated that you were going to be doing sitting right here right now. For sure. Like you just said, that was the most beautiful thing that you said. like you don't know you just have to grow through it but that's what it is like the whole conversation we're talking about is about i'm not meant i'm not going to make this about the mic

podcast can but being present in the moment being like oh this is what i enjoy this is what i have fun doing my heart's truly in this shit and you feel good about it because people around you are going to see it and feel it as well and they're like holy fuck this person really gives a fuck about this and they're not just doing it because they're trying to get a paycheck or they're not just doing it because they think they'll look cool they're doing it because they actually give a fuck about it so start doing more of the things that you actually care about more the things that actually make you happy and enjoy the fucking ride whether or not you know exactly where you're going or not it doesn't fucking matter because listen at the end of the day we're not

guaranteed 10 more years we're not guaranteed five more years we're not guaranteed 10 more days but if we could say right now today I'm doing the thing that I love or I'm enjoying the most fucking that's life man and enjoy it and have fun yeah that's it that's all I got I love you guys subscribe to the fucking channel uh you know all that good YouTube shit podcast shop a fucking iTunes review um yeah and uh keep dropping questions ask rott talk at gmail.com i appreciate you guys i'm out of here thank you for being on these jackets these wrong ear jackets they're fire thank you bro we're out of here i actually got complimented on the jacket today really oh fuck yeah where at pray oh shit where who who who was something i know no the girl or got got nice

that's cold baby oh man i'm sure girls will come on it too but it's fire it's nice it's literally I'm gonna choose this over my mom clear pocket right here Amazing over the Montclair yeah, it's go fuck you Montclair no I'm kidding I'm kidding I feel bad you know because they make dope jackets I don't know those 1 20 like 125 oh how long it was yeah so like what I was lit I was very I'm probably super lit thank you yeah thank you for coming thank you thank you thank you I got to start running man