Ray William Johnson: True Story Podcast - She Killed Her Own Hitman - The Susan Kuhnhausen Story

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Susan Kuhnhausen, a 51-year-old ER nurse in Portland, Oregon, survived a murder-for-hire plot orchestrated by her estranged husband. Coming home from work one evening, she was attacked by Edward Haffey, a man armed with a hammer who had broken into her house.

So this guy really wants to kill his wife. Now the guy's name is Michael and Michael's 58 years old living in Oregon and Michael has a big problem. His wife doesn't love him anymore and he really wants to win her back. Now his wife is this woman, Susan. And of course Susan doesn't love him anymore, Michael, he's kind of a terrible husband. Like he never takes her out or spends time with her. He does things like when she's trying to kiss him, he like burps in her face, which I guess,

he thinks is funny. He always tries to control her spending habits when actually she makes more money than him. Like she's a nurse while he's a janitor at an adult video store. Which, by the way, I assume that means he cleans the little boots out. E. Not to mention, he's also just kind of a bummer. Like he's always referring to life as a shit sandwich. And so anyway, over time, all of this has kept building up. And then one day in 2005, after being married, 7,000, years, Susan has finally had enough. She goes to Michael and she says, I want a divorce. And poor Michael is devastated. Like, he doesn't want to get a divorce. He's not feeling this at all. And so I guess in a compromise, they agree to a trial separation, where she stays in the house while Michael moves out to go live with his dad for a while. And from here, Michael's life

just continues to get worse. He loses his job at the adult video store. And I guess his dad kicks him out of the house, so now he suddenly doesn't really have a place to live. So at this point, Michael is freaking out. He doesn't have any money. He doesn't have a job. He's got no place to live, and his wife is for sure going to divorce him. And this is where he comes up with an absolutely terrible idea. Why not just unalive Susan? I mean, since, you know, she won't be with him, maybe this will make him feel better. I actually don't really get it. But not only that, the house that Susan is living in, it's worth about $300,000. And it's in both their names.

And so if Susan just happens to die, the $300,000 house would end up being Michael's. So there is some money involved in this. Here's the problem, though. Michael, he can't unalive someone himself. Like, that's just not his style. No, no, no. He's going to hire someone to do it. So he goes to this ex-co-worker of his.

This guy, Ed. And Ed is an ex-convict. kind of a shady dude, and he's also a janitor at the adult video store. Geez, how many janitors does this place have? Anyway, so Michael's mentioning all this stuff to Ed about his wife and whatnot, and Ed is like, oh yeah, I know all about hiring someone to kill a person, and Ed actually does. In fact, Ed just spent nine years in prison because he once hired a hitman to take out his ex-girlfriend. And so Ed is like, I think, yeah, out and live in your wife is a great idea, and I would love to be your hitman.

And so the deal is done. Michael hires Ed for $50,000. And together they come up with a plan for Ed to assassinate Susan. And so some time passes. And eventually in 2006, the big day comes. The day Ed is scheduled to kill Susan. And so first, Michael goes over to Susan's house when she's not home and he lets himself in. And they're only separated, so I guess he like still has the alarm code.

And while he's there, he leaves her a number. note because he's trying to create an alibi for himself. He's like, hey, I just wanted to let you know, I'm going to the beach, so I'll be gone and I won't see you for a couple of days. And then he leaves. Meanwhile, Ed is at his house preparing for this hit. And when I say preparing for this hit, I mean, he's doing a bunch of cocaine. Like a bunch of cocaine. And once he's sufficiently high, he travels over to Susan's house and he enters and he hides there behind the bedroom door and he waits for her to come home. Sometime later, Susan gets home.

And before she goes into her bedroom, she notices something feels off because the room is like super dark, like she didn't leave the curtains open when she left or something. And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, boom, Ed appears. And Susan's like, who are you?

What do you want? And Ed, he's got a hammer. And then, bam, he hits her in the head with it. And they grab each other and they're wrestling around and there's a struggle. And she slams him up against the wall trying to get the hammer away from him.

And she's thinking this guy's about to be like, where's all your jewelry or whatever? Because she thinks he's a burglar. But Ed, he doesn't say anything like that. He just keeps on fighting and trying to hit her with the hammer. But Susan, she's trying to fight back and she uses all her weight to pin him up against the wall. And Ed says, you're strong.

And this makes Susan realize that this dude isn't here to rob her. He's here to kill her. And she's got a do. everything she can to not let that happen. So then, pow, she manages to wrestle the hammer away from him, and boom, boom, she hits him in the head with it three or four times. And then they fight and they struggle some more before Ed manages to grab the hammer back from her. But Susan, she's still not giving up. She does not want to die today. And so she grabs him by the throat. She puts him in a choke hole. Now, despite the extreme circumstances here, Susan, like,

she's a nice woman. Like, she doesn't want to kill anyone. You know, most people don't. She doesn't even want to kill this hit man who showed up to assassinate her. So she then lets go of him and she tries to run away. But he grabs her and he spins her around and pow, he punches her in the face, and pow, he does it again. And Susan falls to the floor. And so she lays there out of energy. While Ed takes that hammer and he stands over her. And one more hit from him with that thing is all it's gonna take.

And poor Susan will be dead. and she knows it. She knows she's done for. Until. Susan still isn't gonna give up. Her body gives her another hit of adrenaline, and suddenly she reaches up and she grabs Ed, and she pulls him down onto the floor with her,

and now they're both wrestling for control of that hammer. And soon she says, fuck it, and she starts biting him. Boom, she bites his arm. Boom, she bites his thigh. Boom, she even bites him on his junk through his pants. And as they continue to wrestle, anytime she has a free hand, she tries to slip it into his pockets. She's trying to find like some form of ID or something so that she can quickly toss it under the bed or like under a chair so that police might find it later and they can identify who came in to kill her.

Like damn, she's like really good under pressure. I would never think to do that. But anyway, at this point, Susan and Ed have been fighting for around 14 minutes and they are completely worn out. And so they're both there lying on their sides, trying to catch their breath, but Susan is still not giving up. And she manages to climb on Ed's back and put him in a chokehole. And she starts yelling at him, like, tell me who sent you. Tell me who sent you and I'll call an ambulance for you. Because, you know, he's hurt.

This woman really said, call an ambulance, but not for me. Anyway, Ed doesn't say anything back to her. He only growls at her. And so Susan tightens her grip around his neck and she holds him there and she doesn't let go until he stops moving completely. And Ed dies. And then Susan runs outside over to a neighbor's house who then calls 911. And police show up and they're able to piece together that Ed is connected to her husband, Michael. And so, bam, they go and they arrest Michael.

Here's his mugshot. Ugh, Jesus, dude. And ultimately, Michael takes a plea deal, and he sentenced to 10 years in prison.