REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 103. Winners Royale

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

You can’t overcome your problems unless you ditch the habit of dumping all your negativity, struggles and vulnerabilities onto other people. On today’s episode, Andy talks about why it’s crucial to handle your own problems and how to get out of the victimhood mentality if you want to win in life.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys? It's A.D. Purcell, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to Motherfucking Reality. Guys, today, I have a short, real talk episode for you. It's not going to take a whole lot of time. I posted a fucking meme or a message or whatever you want

to call it, a little thing where I type some fucking words on it into my Instagram story. a real simple statement, handle your own shit. And the response to that post is inspiring me to come here and explain to you how important that is. Now, I got all kinds of responses, right? I got a lot of reactions, you know, like 100, you know, I agree. Oh, that's fucking awesome. And then I got some people that come at me with this victim shit. All right. And let me, let me explain something to you guys. I want, I want you to understand something. If you cannot go through life and you can't handle the regular things that happen to a human being in a regular day of life. Okay. Meaning when you have a personal problem or you have an issue or you have a situation at home or you have a situation with a friend or your job or a customer or your fucking husband or

your wife or whatever it is, if you automatically take those things and dump them on other people, dump them on your friends, dump them on your husband, dump them on your wife, dump them on your coworkers, You have zero chance of winning anything in life ever. You have zero chance of owning your own home that you're proud of. You have zero chance of making an income that you're proud of. You have zero chance of having fulfilling relationships. Nobody wants to be around people like that. Guys, it's the most toxic fucking trait someone could have, taking their business and dumping it on someone else without any regard for what this person may have going on at any given time. And you would be surprised at the amount of people

who have large followings that you guys know that consistently do this to other people all the time, which is why they struggle in their careers. Okay. Let me let you in on a little secret. There's a lot of motherfuckers that you watch on the line that aren't who the fuck they say they are. A whole bunch of them. And I know this because I know all of them. All right. Now, I'm not here to name names or embarrass anyone. I want everybody to fucking win. I want everybody to do good. I want everybody to improve. But the first thing that you have to do for you to get on the track that you want to do is to become self-reliant. That means you have to not only understand your own problems, you have to attack your problems and you have to address

your problems and solve them mostly on your own. Now, and I know that flies in the face of the current narrative that we all got to have a fucking therapist and we all got to have fucking healing and we all got to have somebody to fucking coddle us. But guys, and you know what? Sometimes that's okay. I've seen people before. I have friends I talk to. Dr. Nicole LaPera happens to be a personal friend of mine that I talk to quite often about things that are going on, but I don't expect her to solve a fucking problem for me. I don't call her and say, hey, Nicole, and dump all my shit on her and then fucking run away. No, I say, hey, I got this little issue. What do you think? And usually I get I get a question back and that question helps me solve

the fucking problem. So I'm not saying you can't go get help. I'm not saying you can't have people to rely on to help you with things. But what I am saying is that a lot of you motherfuckers have become so fucking soft and so addicted to the validation of voicing your bullshit problems that you won't even try to attempt to improve where you are in life. Okay. Your identity is now attached to this victimhood that you see in yourself, which is a big problem because if you and your identity is based around your struggle all the time, right? Meaning every story you talk about is your struggle. Every post you talk about is vulnerable and you're trying to get attention and likes and comments. Okay. Everything that you identify your personal self with in regards to what you show other people has to do with you having a problem. Okay. It's sympathy bullshit. Let's just call it what it is.

You like the attention, so you complain. All right. But here's the problem with that. That's bigger than just being fucking annoying. And guys, it is super fucking annoying. Nobody likes it. Nobody that likes your shit when you post this shit actually gives a fuck about it. They're just hesitatingly double tapping your shit and then hoping you shut the fuck up. That's the truth. Okay. So the problem here for you is that when you attach yourself to this identity, the identity of a victim, the identity of not being able to overcome, the identity of constantly telling your struggle story, the identity of not being able to overcome, the identity of constantly telling your struggle story, the identity of never overcoming. You have created this scenario where you can literally never overcome the problem that you claim to have because you've built your identity around it. And this is dangerous. This is how people get stuck in the hamster wheel,

where they're running full speed, but nothing ever changes and nothing ever changes because in their mind and maybe your mind too, you have self-identified being a fucking victim that the world stomps on, that the world spits on, that the world shits on. And guys, it's just not fucking true. The truth is you have problems just like everybody else has problems. You just don't hear their fucking problems because they're not bitching about the problems in the same way that you are. Just because you're vocal about something doesn't mean it's unique. Okay. So when you're complaining and you're telling your story and you constantly harp on all these negative, bad things,

understand that you are creating more of that for yourself and you are trapping yourself in a cycle that will not be able to be overcome until you start to change how you see yourself. You have to change how you see yourself before your situation changes. So instead of seeing yourself as this perpetual struggle bus person who has all these fucking problems all the time, start envisioning yourself as someone who's overcome these problems. Start talking about how you've overcome little things instead of continuously piling on your bullshit. Okay. Lots of people, millions of motherfuckers have the same problems that you have and overcome them with more difficult situations. I say this all the time because it's fucking true. And you, if you would sit there and take inventory of how bad your problems really are,

you'd start to understand they're not that fucking bad. Okay. I challenge you to, to, to remember the last time you bitched about something to one of your friends. Remember the last time you unloaded something on Instagram or YouTube or a fucking wherever you is, you communicate with people when you made it, when you complain and you bitch, I want you to think about this and I want you to take inventory and rate that, that complaint against literally the hardest fucking thing you've ever gone through. Maybe a family member dying. Maybe you were in a bad car wreck. Maybe you were stabbed in the fucking face and almost fucking died. Maybe there's all kinds of shit that is way worse that's happened to you than what you're

complaining about now. And all you're doing by complaining now is trapping yourself into that fucking situation for the rest of your life. Now, the feel good, you know, do gooders out there that the politically correct motherfuckers are gonna fucking say Oh, you're so mean by saying no, dude. I'm telling you the truth. I don't want you to remain a victim I don't want you to get trapped in this situation where you're consistently Spinning your wheels and can't figure out how to get the fuck out of it Okay, I have no doubts that most of you want to overcome these struggles.

I have a lot of doubts whether or not most of you will overcome these struggles because society has geared itself now to perpetuate the victim mentality so hard that it's almost impossible to escape it because everywhere we look, we have people telling us, oh, it's okay. Oh, take a break. Oh, you're too hard on yourself. Oh, you're, you know, you need to see a therapist. Oh, you need to heal. Oh, you need, motherfucker, you know what you need to do? You need to get your fucking shit together and do the motherfucking work and stop complaining and dumping all your bullshit on everybody else. Your life ain't that motherfucking hard. It ain't any fucking harder than anybody else's life. And you just want to pretend it is so motherfuckers will give you sympathy. That's the fucking truth.

Okay. And if you can accept that truth and say, yeah, I'm being a bitch. I need to clean up my shit. Now you can start making progress. Now you can become aware because, dude, I'm going to tell you, I used to be this. I'm not talking about this as if like I'm pointing the finger and saying, hey, you're a fucking bitch. I used to be this. This is how I was. 2015, 2016, I was 350 fucking pounds, dude. I was the biggest victim of my own shit.

Dude, I tell my shit, all this shit. Oh, dude, you know, it's okay to be fat because you know, you own this, these multimillion dollar companies and you're doing all, I made every fucking excuse. People don't understand what it's like to own all this shit. Dude, you need to cut yourself a break. You know what I needed to do? I needed to quit being a motherfucking pussy. And I did. And now my life is completely different. I'm 10 times more happy. I'm 10 times more confident. I'm making 10 times more money. I'm 10 times more happy. I'm 10 times more confident. I'm making 10 times more money. I'm 10 times all the positive that I was then. All of it. Confidence, grit, fortitude,

self-esteem, fucking everything, motherfuckers. I'm 10 times better. You know, I was talking with one of my buddies, David Goggins, yesterday. We were having a great conversation and we were talking about, you know what the real fucking problem in the world is, dude? The real problem that all of you suffer from that are listening right now, the real problem is you don't have any real fucking problems. That's the problem. You don't have any real hard problems. Most of you listening live in America. Most of you are watching this on a fucking $2,000 computer or a $1,000 iPhone or a fucking $1,000 flat screen TV. You're telling me you got real motherfucking problems?

Bullshit. You have all the opportunity in the fucking world and you don't have enough real problems and you're finding shit to complain about because everybody else is complaining. And anybody who says this shit about, oh, just be happy with what you got and be happy where you are. Yeah, there's truth to that because it can soothe you, right? It can make you feel okay with where you are. But the truth of the matter is we've got to own our own shit and we've got to handle our own shit so that we can produce what the fuck we're capable of producing. Because when we start to produce what we're capable of

producing, and I'm not just talking about business, I'm talking about life, we show people who are close to us what it looks like to overcome. We show people who are close to us what it looks like to utilize and play the cards we're dealt in an effective manner, which matters because most of the world thinks that whatever cards you're dealt are the cards you're stuck with. And that's not true. True motherfuckers, badass motherfuckers, people who fucking changed the world,

they understand it doesn't matter what fucking cards you're dealt. It's how you fucking play them. fucking plan.