REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 1045. Q&AF: When To Stop Planning, Psychology Behind Premium Pricing & Respecting Yourself

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on when to stop planning and start taking action, how to stop feeling guilty about raising your prices, and how to build self-respect.

On the flow Now my jury box froze Fuck a pole Fuck a stole Count it millions In a hole got a on What is up guys It's Andy for Sela

And this is the show For the realists Say goodbye to the lies The fakeness and delusions Guys today we have Q&AF That's where you submit the questions And we give you

The answers DJ's gonna tell you how to submit them Yeah guys You can email your questions into Ask Andy at 804Cella.com You can also click the link In the description below Or just drop them in the comments

section of the Q&AF videos on YouTube. Yeah. We should tell them. We'll tell him here in just one second. Okay. All right. This is your first time listening to the show.

We have Q&AF, which you're about to hear, and then we have CTI. All right. CTI stands for Cruz, the Internet. These are like two points of the overall theme of the show. The overall theme of the show is to help fix what's going on in the world, and especially here in the United States culturally. Okay. And to do that, we got to be aware of what's going on, which is the purpose of CTI.

And then we got to get better, okay, because culture is made of individuals. So that's kind of how this works here. So today, you're going to get better. Tomorrow, and we play CTI, you're going to learn more about what's going on, what we think is going on. All right. So other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five, 20 minutes. Let me give me some real talk.

And then we have occasionally 75 hard verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. show they talk about how they were before how they are now and how they use a 75 hard program to improve their lives if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is the world's most popular mental transformation program in history okay and you can get that entire program for free at episode 208 all right uh that's on the audio feed only not on youtube all right uh there's also a book called The Book on Mental Toughness, which you can get at Andy Furslla.com, which has the

entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of other information on mental toughness, how to cultivate it, why it's important, and how to use it in your life. Last thing, we don't run commercials on the show, all right? We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads or commercials, and we ask and return something very simple. That you help us grow the show by sharing the show. All right, so if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, a new perspective, it's something worth hearing or we're sharing, please help us share the show. If you see the clips online and you think these are good points, please help us share the show by sharing the clips, all right?

Don't be a ho. Share the show. All right. What's up? It is peanut butter and jelly, man. Yeah. You know. Everything I've ever done has been to try and make people better.

Oh, you know, it is, man. So it's, I really don't do anything. Even the new operator standard project that we have with the arcane system inside of it. For those of you that don't know, they're fans of the MFCEO project. The MFCEO project is back. If you go to operatorstander.com, you can sign up to get it. We've been recording episodes in there for seven months. So it's all business focused, all mindset focused.

If that's what you're into and like this is your preferred format Q&AF of the show, you're going to definitely want to go subscribe to that. So it's putting that out there. And it's a whole bunch of other stuff too. It's not just a podcast. It's an entire human behavioral operating system that if you use properly, literally makes success inevitable. So check that out, operator standard.com. Hell yeah, man.

Now, I asked if we should tell them because we did have a, we are bringing something else back. Tell them. We're bringing call-ins back. Live Q&A is coming back, man. Yeah. And we'll be pushing out some information for you guys on how to do that. We had to address it. You know, I think one thing you do very well, Andy, this is, you know, I'll suit your horn for you.

But you're very good on taking something and, you know, the saying, like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Yeah. I don't think necessarily applies for you. You know what I feel like you're always looking for ways to improve something to make it better. And I think we're going to make the Q&As. Yeah. It's going to be way better.

The first go around, we kind of learned a lot about what we liked, what we didn't like. And so this next one's going to be a lot better. Has that always just been like an innate thing for you? You know what I'm saying? Like, like wanting to improve something. Like not settling with it's good enough. You know, I don't know, man. Um, not always.

Like I used to be like most people are where good enough was good enough. And like I check a box and I'd be done. But once I really got into business and I really started understanding what it took to compete. Um, because of my desire to win, I realized that that's just what it took. And then I've operated it so long that way now where, I think it's just become part of who I am. But no, I don't think that was something I was born with or in aid or anything like that. It's just it's what's required.

And when you do what's required long enough, it becomes second nature. Yeah, 100% dude. I mean, I used to be a pretty lazy fucking person, dude. Like, for real. And this is why I get so frustrated with a lot of people, especially when it comes to their own personal development, their own success. Because it's like, I know what the fuck. they can achieve. I'm aware of what they what they can achieve. And the stories that some of y'all

tell yourself about why you can't are like honestly just so weak that it pisses me off. You know what I mean? It's like, dude, you could be so much more if you would just like get out of your own way. So. Right. It was a what's that famous saying that less Brown has. You can always better your best. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like I just stuck with me. It's just, it's really good saying, man. Yeah. I love it dude. Let's make some people better. Cool. Shall we? Guys, Andy. Question number one. Andy, I'm the type of person who likes to have a plan.

I research everything, think through every angle, try to minimize my risk. The problem is, I think it's become an excuse. I'll spend six months planning something that probably only needed six days of thought. How did you learn when enough planning was enough? Was there ever a point in time? in your life where you over planned, it's a massive struggle for me. No, there wasn't. And this is why I always tell you guys that some of the dumbest people in the world

are some of the most successful. Okay, we have this term going around the internet now called retard maxing. All right? Yeah, yeah, that's what people are saying. That's a thing. Okay. And what it actually means is a very valuable thing to keep in mind. It's that don't over.

Overthink it. Just go fucking do it. Okay. Some of the most successful people that I've come across in my life are not people who are highly intelligent, bro. They're just people that are so dumb that they don't think about the consequences of what might happen if they fuck it up. And then when shit gets fucked up, they're like, oh, well, shit got fucked up. Like, what do we got to do? And they handle it. Now we got to figure it out. Which is in line with the proper attitude of what it takes to win. you can sit down and you can read every book you can go to every podcast you can go to every seminar you can make all the plans you can sit down and you can map it out as perfect as you think you can possibly do it and once you start to go down the path you're going to find out that things are

going to change and you're going to get punched in the fucking face and you're going to realize oh shit what do i do now and you're going to have to figure it out along the way okay so all great entrepreneurs have something in common. And it's they are willing to go before they understand exactly what to do, knowing that when these situations arise, they'll handle them as they come. That is what all great entrepreneurs have in common. Every single one. Every single one is willing to go before they are actually ready to go.

That's just the way it is. Most people are the opposite of that. They are like this person, where they are planning and, scheming and reading and consuming and then they're consuming all this information where one person says this and another person says this and this book says this and that book says this and this seminar told me this and this guy told me this and they freeze because they can't figure out what the right thing to do is and what you got to understand is you're not going to know the right thing until you're on the fucking path okay so you have to be willing to go and you're

have to be willing to accept that no matter how good your plan may be, it's not going to go as planned. And you're going to have to figure it out. That is the nature of entrepreneurship. And that is why so few people actually become successful entrepreneurs because the fear of the unknown is intolerable to most people. Okay. This is the nature. And you say, well, I think it's become an excuse. Yes, absolutely.

It's become a fucking excuse. Yeah. You are, you are what I call a success zombie, okay? A success zombie is someone who has this idea of what they want to do. And then they go out and they read every book. They listen to every podcast. They go to every seminar. They consume every fucking data point. They become on paper experts and they never go.

Okay. And they think that consuming more information is actually somehow going to relate to them having more success. when in reality, it has nothing to do with it. Because even if you know nothing and you decide to go, you're going to figure it out as you go. So really, dude, the bottom line is you just have to fucking go. And it doesn't matter if you read one book or 10 books or 20 books. And I would argue that the less, the better. You know, when I was starting out, dude, we didn't have the overwhelming amount of opinions and information and posts and reels and experts and gurus.

and this and that. There was like five books you could read on success. And they were written by guys like Sam Walton, okay? And Jack Welch and, you know, Tony Robbins. And these guys who are, you know, the, like, you know, have done amazing things in their life. And that's what you had. So you didn't have this overwhelming amount of information coming in your ears all the time.

And I think that was a big advantage that somebody like I had, me had when I was younger versus some of these people now. And do what makes it even worse now is that these people consider creating content about business the same as being successful in business. And that's two different things. How many of these people actually own a company? How many of these people have actually built anything? How many of these people are doing anything other than selling courses on how to coach coaches to, coach other fucking coaches. Okay. We're talking about building real businesses. We're talking about actually operating companies. There's like three people on the internet that have actually

built real companies that you could fucking go and see and you can go in the stores and you can see the products and they have employees and there's probably like 10. Okay. For real 10. The rest are fucking full of shit. All right. And they're talking about how to manipulate traffic hoping to cause some sort of success in business. Oh, you got to have this hook and you got to say this thing and you got to have this CTA and you got how about this? How about you build some real shit? And then people want to find out how you built some real shit. Build some real shit and then talk about what you fucking built. How about that? That's credible. That's real. Listen to those people, the people who have actually built things that are sharing how they built things. Okay. Outside of that,

you should be consuming zero content, period, because the rest of them don't know what the fuck they're talking about. There's a thousand reels a day that come in my feed that I can tell you for sure are terrible advice. For sure. I know for sure because I've made those mistakes. I've thought that way. I understand why they're saying what they're saying. And they're saying it with such certainty that it makes these people who don't know anything think, well, this must be the way. There is so much terrible information on the internet around building a business and entrepreneurship that I couldn't, I wouldn't even know where to start to break it down.

Okay. So pick one or two people who have built real shit, listen to what the fuck they say and go. And you'll be at a huge advantage. You know, the thing on the planning piece, because I was thinking about this as you were answering it. But it's like, dude, I don't think I've ever had a plan that I've made in my life. that actually like stuck to the plan the entire way. Like not that I didn't succeed, you know what I'm saying? But like the original plan in mind stayed through 100% of the way.

I don't think I can't name one one thing. That's just not the nature of building things. I mean, when it comes to, when we're talking about building businesses, that's just not the nature of how it works, bro. There's too many outside circumstances that are happening at any given time for the plan to stay rigid. The plan's got to be fluid And you've just got to be committed to going

And committed to learning when you make mistakes And the rest will work itself out Yeah You know, but like you're you're basically like saying You know, I'm going to climb Mount Everest I'm going to fucking climb Mount Everest And we're going to go at this many steps today And you're not accounting for storms

You're not accounting for avalanches You're not accounting for this So a storm comes and you missed your one day So then you just quit Plan's over. Plan doesn't work. That's not how the fuck shit gets achieved. That's right.

Okay. So like, you know, yeah, dude, to answer your question, you're aware that you're in this success zombie mindset and you need to break out of it. And so whatever it is you're trying to do, you just need to fucking go do it. And you'll learn a thousand times more than you could ever learn consuming information from someone else. I love it. This is why it's important to listen to people who have done it.

There's a big difference between. theory and reality. There's a big difference between saying this is how it works and knowing this is how the fuck it works. Two different things. The guy at the starting line who's making content about business has never built a motherfucking business and all he's doing is selling his own brand to get coaching and shit like that.

That motherfucker does not fucking know. He can't know. He cannot fucking know because he hasn't gone down the fucking gauntlet. The guy on the other side that's actually built something, he can look at that guy. and be like, yeah, that's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong. And like a snap of a second, okay? And I'm telling you, 98% of the content on the internet is fucking bullshit.

It's all people trying to stroke their own dicks and try to pretend like they're this big thing. They went out and rented a car. They appeared to be successful. And, dude, like, you know, people buy it because they're ignorant to what's going on. But, you know, it's whatever, man. Easy come, easy go.

Yeah. And you see it, because every three years, a new batch of these people. I don't know where they come from. Like it's so weird. Yeah. Yeah, man. Well, they see the easy money, bro.

Yeah. They say, oh, I can make a digital... Like, I'm not against digital products, by the way. Okay? Digital products from people who have built real shit are valuable. Yeah. Digital products from people who fucking theorize about shit are trash. That's it.

Okay? So they realize, these guys realize that there's a ton of margin digital products. And instead of going out and building a real company, They try to consider well this is actually a real company. Oh the fuck it isn't. It fucking isn't dude Okay coaching coaches to coach coaches to coach other motherfucking coaches is not a fucking real company. I'm sorry You might want to you might want to like think that is but it's not okay We don't need more coaches we need more motherfuckers building shit that actually contribute to the fabric of this fucking culture in this in this country Okay, real products that serve real people not

selling them a dream and saying, oh, here's the dream and fucking $9,997 and here's the dream. And then like, like that's what the fuck we're dealing with, dude. And at some point, those of you that buy that shit, you deserve what the fuck you get. Because you're buying the same, you're buying the quick fix. And you got the acuity to understand the difference. Look, man. It's important. You know, it's hard for me to feel bad for people like that.

Yeah. Like you decided that this was going to be. the quick solution and you decided to fucking leverage yourself and put yourself in credit card debt and all this shit and makes you just as bad as the fucking dude selling it well it's like you mean you get the first one um well we've all been fucked one time like like dude when i was young you know i got fucking burned like that yeah okay and it's because i had the wrong attitude yeah okay when i was young i bought a fucking i tell you i bought a product okay when the internet first came out like very first came out. I'm talking about the late 90s. Okay. Google and search engines was not really a thing.

Okay. So I'm going to explain to you. You couldn't go somewhere and type in a fucking and say, what was this or what is who in my area does plumbing? Okay. It wasn't a thing. You had email addresses. You had websites that you went to, but search engines were like not a known thing. All right. You had a couple things like Yahoo and they were coming around but people didn't really understand what it was so before I tell you how fucking retarded this product project that I bought into is I want to explain that we were living in a different time because you're going to think I'm a moron I tell you well anyway so I broke out scam by the first scam I did I did I got scammed from the guy selling the selling the dream on the internet I got scam okay and uh

There was this guy who was selling this thing. It was called Internet Yellow Pages, okay? Which made a lot of sense because back in the day before the internet, like if you wanted to look up a plumber, you had to go to the Yellow Pagers and look up plumbing, and there would be a bunch of ads in there. All right? So this made sense, like it made sense back then.

So he had this thing called the Internet Yellow Pages. And what he did was he sold franchises to independent reps for $9,000. Okay, now listen So I Bought this on a credit card All right And my job Was to go to businesses

Door to door and say hey Would you like a listing on the internet Yellow pages and sell the shit I sold zero fucking ads Okay and I tried it for a long time Yeah Nobody gave a fuck because no one saw the value in the internet Too new

No one understood it. So it never worked. And the whole project never worked. And I got fucking taken for $9,000 on that. At a time when $9,000 might as well been $9 million. I didn't have it. That's great. Okay.

So, I mean, I could understand people being taken advantage of when they don't know any better. But at this point in time, like, I think. feel like with the amount of fucking information it's on the internet and the amount of I don't know maybe it's just my perspective it's it should be easy to tell when people are full of shit I don't know well I mean or you know bare minimum you're not you're not trying to do that again yeah you know what I'm saying like you got to learn from it yeah I didn't buy another program yeah well that coach was just wrong let me try this yeah right yeah yeah yeah it takes more man I get it dude I get it man uh guys any question too. Let's get to it. My question is, did you ever feel guilty on moving your prices up? If so,

how did you go about that? Hello and Yati, Andy. I am from a, from the Navajo reservation. I am Navajo. I'm a 24 year old wedding photographer, videographer. When doing my job, I charge a lot for weddings. However, I have always had this sense of guilt for charging what I charge. Coming from the as I did not see a lot of wealth, so charging $1,500 or more feels wrong. My girlfriend, family, and friends have told me to charge more for weddings. And even some of my clients say I need to charge more. But I cannot shake this guilty feeling for charging people high prices. Even when adding more value to my wedding packages, I still feel the same.

Well, you're going to be poor your whole life. Get used to it. Because you have a poor mindset. All right. Your mindset is because $1,500 is a lot to me, then it must be a lot to everybody else. I know people that shit $1,500 out like it ain't nothing. Okay? They only give a fuck about $1,500, all right?

And when you start to make objections up in your head based upon your own personal financial situation, you are guaranteed to lose in business. You're guaranteed to lose. And most of the time we see this in salespeople. Salespeople have a really hard time selling things that are outside the affordability scale of their own personal financial situation. So you have to, as a salesperson and as a business owner, understand that this is a math equation. Okay. You have to charge the value of what it is that you offer and there are going to be customers that cannot afford it. and there are going to be customers that don't think twice about it.

And you have to decide which ones you're going to pander to, okay? And if you want to pander to a bunch of broke people your entire life, you're going to have a hard time in business. It's going to be a constant fight forever. My recommendation would be to raise your prices or even double your prices from where they are and only work with the people that can easily afford it because those people are less maintenance. They don't bitch. They don't complain. They don't nickel and dime. They're usually much more grateful. And it makes your life way easier because now you're making money and you have less

rub on the backside. Okay. So this is a personal insecurity of yours that is coming from your own worldview that you need to change if you are going to be successful in business. Period. Yeah. Now, I feel like there's an important thing here. You have to. You never know what somebody can afford, by the way. Like for all you salespeople that think like, you know, salespeople like to do this. They like to look at someone and they like to decide what they think this person can and can't afford. Let me tell you something. This is a this is a reality of people. The people that you think can't afford it because they're walking up in a pair of fucking workout shorts and a cutoff t-shirt versus the guy that's dressed up in a nice suit or whatever are usually the people that don't give a fuck about whatever it is at cost.

and the reason they're not in a nice suit is because they don't give a fuck about wearing a nice suit because they don't have to. Okay? So usually your judgments are backwards anyway. We used to have this guy that would come in to supplement superstores, bro. And it was like this older black dude

and he was dressed straight up, straight up like a pimp. Okay? He'd wear purple pants and like a fucking silk shirt. Lemon pepper step. Oh, dude. Yes. Like an old, like a old, like a little.

like an old pimp daddy, okay? And, and, and dude, you, you would look at this dude and you'd be like, this guy is a fucking clown. Like, he's not going to buy shit. This guy would come in and buy a thousand dollars worth of shit out of cash. He'd pull a fucking bankroll right out of his fucking pocket and, and walk the fuck out. He was a pimp. Okay, yeah.

But the thing is, is that, you know, if you, if you didn't take the time to help that person and educate them and show them top to bottom what they would need, you would have never got that sale or figured that out. And a lot of people will brush that off because they'll prejudge somebody based upon what their appearance or what they're wearing or what it is. Bro, most of the places I go into, I'm wearing like exactly what I'm wearing right now. I'm wearing fucking free first form shorts and a free t-shirt that I got from, I mean, I said I had to pay for it. Yeah, somebody paid away. It's free.

All right. And a first-form hat, you know, and, you know, dude, I could buy anything I want, like without thinking about it. So, you know, this is a big problem with entrepreneurs and salespeople. And then also, how do you want people to perceive your brand? Okay. How do you want people to talk about your skill set as a photographer? Do you want them to say, oh, Steve is good. You know, he's cheap and he'll get it done?

Or do you want them to say, you know what? Steve costs more money, but fuck, he's the best. Okay? Because price value correlation is a real thing. people that pay more automatically defend the product that they buy. So instead of saying, oh yeah,

he does a pretty good job and he's affordable, they're going to say, yeah, man, he costs more money, but look at our fucking pictures. They're amazing. That's right.

As long as you can deliver on that. Well, that was going to be my second piece on this because I don't want this to go like, oh, I'm sure they understand this piece. But like, you know,

the whole thing about charging, you know, you recommend even maybe charged double. The quality of the work still has. has to be there. Equality work has to be there no matter what. I just didn't want that to be like, oh, it's assumed it's understood.

Yeah, let's assume that it's decent or good. Yeah. Okay. I'm assuming that it's good. I mean, if it's shit, you're not going to be able to charge a higher amount of money for it. Right. Okay. But, dude, the point I'm getting back at is that there is a, there is a direct correlation

the consumer's mind between price and quality. Yeah. Okay. You can't break it. People understand inherently that when they pay more for something, they're 99% in time getting a much better product. Okay. And when they pay more for something and they know it's a better product, what's built in is loyalty and then also marketing. Because when they tell their person, you know, hey, I worked with Steve and he charged me $5,000 for wedding pictures and people are like, what?

That's fucking crazy. Now all of a sudden that person is attacking their judgment. It's a personal attack. for paying the $5,000 and they automatically go into defense mode for you. So they go in and they say, dude, you don't understand. This guy is the best there is. He's a fucking legend. This is like having, you know, Babe Ruth, photographers.

Okay. And then that is what builds your brand equity in people's mind. Okay. So there's all kinds of things psychologically to think about here, about how you want to, you know, charge. but at the end of the day bro like I mean you do whatever you want but I'm telling you what I would do I would raise my prices and not apologize

and I'd do the work and I'd market to the people that can afford it and I wouldn't fuck with other people yeah I love that dude side note you know how I am I like to think about why people do certain things and on the topic of like you know that judging the customer based off what they look like do you think that goes back to a time in society

where people did put more respect into their dress right right like you know men were wearing suits on a daily where they were going to work and so like they went into a store like okay yeah the guy's a suit guy maybe you know what I'm saying like I'm just trying to think why where that comes from though I mean maybe maybe that's where it comes from I don't know yeah you know it's not what it's not now it doesn't matter what what it came from what matters is what is yeah and what is is is uh the richest motherfuckers usually don't like wearing suits so they don't fucking wear them that's real okay so the rich dudes look just like the poor dudes and if you prejudge them

In fact, it's the opposite now. It's the opposite. Now all the fucking poor dudes we're in the fake rich shit. It's the middle. It's the middle. Okay. Middle people in the middle of a social economic class

try as hard as they can to look like they're at the top. Okay? And the people who are at the top try hard to look like a regular person. And that's why like it's, I don't know, it's pretty easy for me to spot the fake motherfuckers on the internet. Yeah. Because nobody with any real money. fucking acts like these dudes.

What they're doing is they're playing a character based on the perception of what people who are in lower income see as success. Movies and shit. Yeah. I want to say this. Don't misjudge what I just said. Okay?

Driving a nice car, having a nice watch, putting yourself together will open up doors for you. It will open up doors for you. But what I'm saying is when people actually get to the point of having a lot of money like a lot, they don't care about that shit because they know that the fucking, they can buy the door open if they want to.

You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So, I think more importantly is like, there's phases to it. Yeah. Yeah. No, I took that more importantly though for the sales guys.

Like, you just shouldn't be judging people based off of that shit right now. No. Yeah, I think that, yeah. I got it. Yeah, guys, Andy, question number three. Hi, Andy. I'm 23 years old,

and I spent the majority of my time over the last few years. trying to earn other people's respect. My boss, my friends, the people I look up to. But the older I get, the more I realize the opinion that bothers me most is my own. There are days where I know I didn't give my best and I have to live with that. So how did you get to the place where you could honestly respect the man you saw in the mirror? I follow through on the things that I told myself I was going to do at the level of standard that I expected for myself in a non-compromising way.

It's very simple. That's what 75 hard and live hard's about. That's why that's what it teaches you. Okay. If you have high standards for yourself and you think you should be doing certain things and you should be behaving a certain way and you should be acting a certain, putting out a certain effort, et cetera,

et cetera. And you don't. It doesn't matter what the numbers say on the scoreboard. You're not going to feel good about yourself. Okay. You can still win on the scoreboard and feel like shit because you know, know you're half-assin. Yeah.

Yeah. You understand? Yeah. So like the winning is it what creates the inner piece that you're looking for. In fact, that's a whole other discussion. But the point of the matter is, is that when you live to the standard that you expect from yourself, regardless of what the standard is around the people around you, a few things happen. One, you start to respect yourself and you have more confidence.

but two other people start to respect you and they start to you know you're talking about i want to earn the respect well earn the respect by living to your own standard that's higher than everybody else's that's the easiest way to get people to follow you in the first place you know in the beginning they're going to be like why are you doing things like that why are you doing this why are you doing that why you doing this and you can just answer and be like that's because that's the way i do things all right and when people observe the way that you do things at a much higher standard than the people around them, they automatically fall in line. There's a hierarchy of natural order that starts to materialize without you having to say anything. You don't have to say, oh, I'm a leader. I'm doing this to

be a leader. People look and they say, that guy's got his shit together. That guy's a fucking killer. Okay. And they start to respect that. And that's how respect comes around. That's, you know, trying to manipulate your way to respect by behaving the way that other people expect you to will leave you feeling empty and disappointed because the truth of the matter is you're not being true to yourself and you're likely not living to the standard of your own which is probably higher than what they have for you. So you got to quit doing the dance and do your own dance if that makes sense. And to your point it's going to accomplish both of these things you want. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. The seeking the approval, I guess, for validation from others,

right um i feel like this is more maybe it's becoming a young generation no it's because dude that's the way our culture set up now yeah our culture is a performative culture okay when you look at the way that social media operates social media does not operate um in a healthy way for people what it does is it trains people to perform in a way that gets rewarded through meaningless metrics like likes, shares, and comments. Okay. So what they're constantly doing is doing a dance for the public approval. And this is why a lot of people get caught in victim mentality. Okay. And this is just an example that I want to use here. But someone, there's lots of examples that I could use here, but this is one that is very damaging to people. So say someone is going through a hard time

and they decide to be quote unquote vulnerable to share that story on the internet on Instagram okay they make a post they say hey guys I just want to be transparent with you you know I'm going through a hard time this that the other you know these are things and it could be totally valid right it could be a totally honest post well that engagement will typically be pretty high because it's outside the norm of what they normally post and people are empathetic right people don't like to see other people going through hard times they want to offer support that's how people are and you know there's a lot of people that want to offer support hoping that you'll still

fucking fail right that's a really yeah like this that's a real thing dude yeah so so you get a lot of engagement on something like that yeah and then what happens is those people are like holy shit look at all the engagement I got so then don't mean it, huh? Dopamine it. Yeah, well, they'll say, well, that worked, quote unquote, that worked. Well, what does working actually mean?

It means you're rewarded on the internet with meaningless shit because you've told a story one time, all right? But here's the dangerous part. Because they say, oh, it worked and they're looking at it as like a game to win versus a game to authentically share who they are or benefit people or this or that. they'll tell that story again. Okay. And then that story will get a lot of engagement again.

And, you know, there'll be two or three posts in between and they'll tell a sad story. And then they'll start telling it more often, more often and more often and more often and more often. And what ends up happening is they unintentionally create this jail around their mindset that they are a victim, essentially convincing themselves that they are a poor little me that can do nothing about what it is. and they are unwilling to change it because that's what gets rewarded on the internet. Okay. So now think about how that damages someone in real life. So you have someone who's understanding that life is just life and we go through hard periods

and we go through good periods and then they tell that first story, right? And then they tell it again and then tell it again and they tell it again. And pretty soon the perception that life is made of good, and a little bit of bad becomes life is made of a lot of bad and sometimes good. Okay. And we all know these people. We watch them on the internet. How many of these people that we know on the internet constantly complain,

constantly cry, bitch, moan, talk about this thing or that thing they went through or that thing they went through or this or that or this? And they don't understand that they're actually convincing themselves that they are a victim that cannot overcome these things. And there is nothing noble about wallowing in your fucking sad story. Every motherfucker out there has a sad story. And a lot of them are a lot worse than yours. And the people with the saddest stories don't fucking talk about them all the time

because they're so bad, they don't want to remind themselves of it. All right? But these people now become victims of their own stories where they cannot break out of it. And they see the world in a different way. that is psychologically damaging. All right. That ruins people's lives. It's no different than these therapists that legitimately are predatory in terms of convincing

everybody that they need to heal their entire life. And oh, by the way, to heal, you need to join my community and buy my book and buy my program. Right. What incentive does that person have to actually help people get any better? and are we supposed to spend our whole life the first 20 years of our life living life and then the next 80 trying to heal from it get the fuck out of here dude

life is life good shit's gonna happen bad shit's gonna happen we're gonna get our ass kicked we're also gonna have times in the sun where the sun is shining and everything is right that is what life is about and we learn the lessons from the bad we overcome them and we inspire other people to overcome them That is what the fuck this is about. It's not about convincing people that they're broken and that they need to pay you for a solution for their whole life.

That is the most predatory shit going on the internet right now. Now, I'm not saying there aren't some really good therapists because there are. But I'm also going to say not everybody fucking needs therapy. Okay. Not everybody needs to have, you know, this. Kumbaya. Yes. Like, bro, it's, it disgusts me how, how some of these therapists psychologically brain.

into believing that they're fucking victims of something that happened when they were eight years old. Okay, you can't control what happens to you when you're eight years old, man. And the more you relive it your entire life, the worst you're going to fucking feel. At some point, you're going to have to let the shit go and be like, hey, fuck. At fucking, it happened. It is what it is. This is what I learned. And you move the fuck on, man.

Yeah, dude, I think a general safe rule. Let me know if you agree. But it's like, if you're going to cry over spilled milk. in a video, cool. The next video needs to be you cleaning the shit up. Yeah, yeah. Bro, instead of, yeah, bro, if you're going to share, if you're going to share your hardships,

make sure that you're sharing how you overcame it too. That actually serves people. That's noble shit. Yeah. Okay, because we all do have hard times. And there's a lot of people that are having hard times that are similar to the ones that we might be going through. But if we just get on there and cry about it all the time,

all we're doing is confirming to them that they can't overcome it either. Don't get better than you. Yeah. Like, dude, that's, terrible. So, you know, but that's the nature of the internet. The nature of the internet is that it rewards performative action. And because it rewards performative action, a lot of people never figure out who they actually are and what they actually want because they're doing things for strangers on the internet just to get attention. So it's it's kind of fucked up, man. You know,

like, dude, what you do on your social is you're doing. business for sure but like be be careful you're not falling into this trap of performative culture and you know what the irony is is the motherfuckers that don't perform and just say what the fuck they think are the ones that are successful at social anyway yeah yeah because everybody's trying to perform so weird isn't that I mean you know like I was talking to my buddy who's a he he he runs a personal brand consulting agency he's good at it he's built some big people this is one of the guys that's actually done this shit. And we were fucking laughing back and forth the other day.

And it's like, bro, how many of these people want to have a quote unquote personal brand, but they've never literally done fucking anything? Never done anything. But you think you're going to get a microphone and say some shit that someone else who's done shit has already said 50 fucking times. And somehow you're going to become that too. What's your story? What have you done?

What have you built? You want to have a great personal brand? Either tell people what the fuck you actually built or document the process of building it and they'll follow you along the way. But like, dude, you don't just get to fucking have people listen to you because you go out and buy a thousand dollars worth of a fucking podcast equipment and sit in front of a fucking microphone.

No one gives a shit, bro. They care about why you're credible. So go out and build some shit and then talk about it. Or share the process. That's interesting. I like watching people build their businesses online. That's interesting shit.

Like the little kid we featured on CTI doing the trash can clean. Yeah. That's cool. He's gonna kill it. Okay? Like, it's cool watching people build their business online. Now, I will say this.

There's a lot of fucking morons online, even to have some decent sized businesses that get on there and disclose every single decision that they're making, not realizing that everybody else is watching and they're like, oh, okay, well, you know, and stealing or fucking manipul, like, you got to be careful what you share. Yeah. You know. Within reasons. You have to share with it.

reason yeah yeah this dude sharing his fucking whole game playing yeah like what are you talking about this is a fucking war bro yeah i'm not gonna share with you where the fuck i'm going yeah they're about to run until until i'm already there and then i can say oh this is how we got it you know what i's right it's right yeah i don't know i think people dude real talk i dude and i'm not trying to discourage anybody i shouldn't even say this but it's just the truth it's just entrepreneurship has gotten so blown up and glorified that there's a lot of people that think they should be entrepreneurs that just shouldn't be. And there's a lot of people out there to say that everybody can be an entrepreneur and

not everybody can't. It takes a certain fucking type of person to do it. It takes, if you want to be good at it, it takes a certain kind of person. Everybody can have a side hustle. Everybody can open up a fucking drop shipping thing to Amazon or whatever, right? But if you're going to build a real thing, dude,

you have to be obsessed with it. You have to be obsessed. You have to be relentless. You have to like literally be 100% committed because everybody else that's that's competing with you is. And if you're not, you're going to lose. And you still might lose because they might be better than you. So it's just like it's like the most competitive thing in the world that people and and I don't

know. Like it's weird to me because like the paradox of it is like it's the most competitive thing in the world that people think is like the easy. thing in the world. It's like what the fuck, dude? And that comes from the internet, table tennis, dog. Yeah. It's not casual. There's nothing casual about winning, bro. Anyway, I love it, man. Well, guys, Andy, that was three. Yep. All right, don't be a ho. Show the show. We're from sleeping on the flow. Now my jury box froze. Fuck a pole. Fuck a bull. Fuck a

stole counted millions in a cold bad bitch, booted swole. Got her own bank row. Can't Fold doesn't know headshot case closed