REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 124. Surprise Again Motherf*ckers...

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Nobody's going to believe your vision until you've done something. On today's Q&A episode, Andy answers the question of how to stay consistent during the weekends, how you should respond to your family's lack of support for your goals and when you should leave your job to pursue your side project fully. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Book Andy to Be on Your Podcast Follow Andy on Instagram Follow Andy on Facebook Take complete control of your life - 75 HARD Get my raw & uncensored advice about success & life delivered to you daily!

What's up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. I am joined today. Surprise again, motherfuckers. We're going to have another one of those shows, all right? We just decided before the show that that's going to be the name. Surprise again. I don't know if that actually, surprise again.

Like, it don't work like that, but we just roll with it. I'm joined by my sexy co-host white lightning white lightning baby what's up what's up dude that animation was probably the funniest i've ever seen bro i laughed for 10 minutes straight it was like and then you know what was fucking funny about it bro is that like i could tell like like people didn't want to laugh at it but then they started laughing at it oh no it's like it's completely fine. Yeah, it took a minute. Like, dude. Man, y'all are too fucking sensitive out there.

Like, shit's funny. Lighten the fuck up. Anyway, what do we got today? For our new surprise. Yeah, for another surprise. So the questions episode, the first surprise from last week went over well. I think people really liked that. And so we got three more questions for you. I'm going to try to keep it at three.

That's it. That's the rule. That's the rule. It's only three. That's the rule. This works. I give Andy three questions from you guys. Again, we have the email address. What is that, Sal? Shit, Sal. Damn. AskAndy at AndyFraschella.com. Was that an insult or a compliment? What did he say? He called you Sal. Yeah. It might be both. I mean, it depends

on how you take it. Sal's decently looking. Decently? Decently. Yeah. Might be both. I mean, it depends on how you take it. Sal's decently looking. Decently? Decently. Yeah. All right. Third best looking guy in the room. Hey, look, in this room, you could be last.

You're still pretty good looking. Let's just say that. All right. Thanks. All right. But ask Andy. Ask Andy at andyforsall.com. Right. So we got all these questions and guys are awesome.

So we're going to get through this. You ready to roll? Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. All right. So first question. All right. Oh, wait, hold on. Before we get into that. Let me just remind you guys of the fee. OK, the fee is pick the questions that it seems like you guys are wanting to, to have answered and us get real granular on these answers. So if you do have a question, submit it,

ask Andy at Andy Frisella.com. All right. So ask Andy at Andy Frisella.com. Send us an email, ask the question. One question. Yeah. One question.

Yeah. Yeah. Not like a fucking book, bro. We won't pick those. Cause like it's too complicated. Usually what I do is I go through it. One question. Yeah, yeah. Not like a fucking book, bro. We won't pick those because like it's too complicated. Usually what I do is I go through it. I see because there is a few. I mean, there's thousands of fucking submissions.

Yeah. So I really we do appreciate that. But I find the questions that, you know, have you want your question answered? I'd probably put it in the subject bar if you could make it fit in there. But anyhow, that's what we're going to do. And if you learn something, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective, if you got real value out of the show, do us a solid and share the show for us. That's how we grow. We don't go out and advertise the show and we don't run ads on the show. This is totally driven by word of mouth and by you guys

and our listeners. And so if we do good, we win. If we do bad, we lose. I'm cool with that. I like that system. It works really well in the whole entire world. So that's the deal. All right. That's it. All right. So first question. All right. So, Andy, I've been having a killing ass week Monday through Friday, right? But I noticed a trend in my life where during the week I can work really, really hard and do all the things I need to do to get done. But then when the weekend comes, I lose momentum. So the question is, how do you maintain momentum going into the weekend? Well, listen, I think that's a question that most people struggle with.

And I know for sure in fitness, people do this, but what they don't pay attention to is that when they fall off their fitness, they fall off of usually everything else as well. I mean, dude, I was the guy, guys, you know, you don't get to be 350 pounds of mashed potatoes like I was without understanding what that person is asking. You know what I'm saying? So, uh, first of all, you got to understand there is a real, there's a real math part to this. Okay. If you're only going, let's just say, all right, what most people do for, for sake of discussion, you have the average person, right? And this is how I used to live. I would come into work on Monday.

All right. And I was usually hung over from Sunday. All right. So Tuesday, I started feeling okay and I got to be productive. Wednesday, I was also productive. I was finally feeling normal and I execute. Thursday would be happy hour. Okay. So I would get three quarters of a day done on Thursday. And then Friday, I wouldn't care about what I was doing because I was hung over from Thursday and I knew we were almost to Friday. And then I would go out and hang out on Friday, Saturday, and then day drink on Sunday. So like, dude, if we really be, if we're really honest with ourselves about that lifestyle, right, it really takes up Friday and Monday too. So when you really think about the math on that against someone who's actually putting in a 100% effort, what we're talking about is really only three productive days out of seven, which means

you're only executing 42% of the time. You can't beat someone with 42% execution going against someone who executes 100% of the time. So once I started realizing that, because like, dude, if we take it and we just say, okay, it's only two days that we fuck off, you know, that's still 28% of the time, that's one third of the time that you are losing to the guy who isn't fucking off. And depending on how you look at that, you know, over the course of a year, if you just say, if you do two days out of every week, you know, we're looking at 112 days a year, right? Divided by, let's see, that's 30% of your year. Okay. That's, that's fucking, that's, that's fucking, uh, that's almost four months time that you're fucking fucking off when, when the guy you're competing against is not.

It's crazy when the numbers change, like you put the numbers in perspective. That's what I'm saying. So you literally cannot win living like that. That's why you don't see people who run huge operations or the companies that have the momentum that are kicking everybody's ass and doing big things, they don't live like that. It's just very simple. So it becomes a discussion and a question in your head about what's it worth to you? Because a lot of people will hear that and they'll hear, well, that's important to me and that's fine. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying it's a real math equation that you're putting yourself behind when you don't understand the numbers like that. Okay. If you really break down the math,

there's zero possibility that you can beat someone who is giving a hundred percent effort every single day. If you're living like the rest of society. You will lose. That's 100% fact. So to answer the question, how do you fix it? Look, man, you have to force it, okay? The first couple of times, you have to force yourself through the weekend. Making it through a weekend for me without cheating or drinking alcohol still to this day is somewhat of a challenge. And I have to force myself through it. Now, I will say it is, I mean, 99% easier than it used to be. It used to be like I have fear of missing out or that was my social circles was, you know, going to Billy G's and drinking all day.

All your friends are doing it. Everybody's doing it. Right, dude. And I do miss that shit. But now if I decide to do that, like I go drink coffee, you know, and it sounds stupid, but like, dude, I actually prefer the, the hanging out in that without the alcohol for, you know, so like, dude, it's just important to, to, to understand what has worked to you. And once you figure out and actually realize how much you're giving up by doing that, it becomes easier to push through. So this is just one of those situations where the first week is going to be the hardest weekend to push through. The second weekend you've got to push through, it's going to get a little easier.

The third one, you're going to have sort of established a new routine. A lot of the problem comes from people who live in that life. They don't know what the routine should be on Saturday and Sunday, right? It's like they wake up on Saturday and Sunday. Yeah, what do I do? Right. Because they're usually not going to the office in their normal routine, right? So the important thing to establish is a new routine for your weekend. And that, dude, that's as simple as taking out a sheet of paper and saying, what does a day look like for somebody who wins? And I can tell you what my day looks like. And that's all I can share with you because I don't know how everybody else does it. But, you know,

for my day, and you might see some of these older guys out golfing and doing shit and, you know, doing the thing on the weekends. And you might be asked of these older guys out golfing and doing shit and you know doing the thing on the weekends and you might be asking well those guys are already to the point i'm building i'm i'm building here you know what i'm saying like so well shit i mean they might still be getting business done often too you know that's what i'm saying so like that you you have to be careful what you're looking at and what you draw from that. But, uh, you know, for me, dude, I mean, DJ, you know, my routine, same shit. What do I do on Saturday and Sunday? Same shit. You do Monday through Friday. That's exactly it. So like I wake up, I go to, I do my stuff at the house.

I go work out and I literally do the exact same thing. Even if there's nobody here at the office, I come here and there always is people here at the office, but I come here, honestly, this is the truth to maintain my routine. Like it keeps me from drifting into that old life that I had. So the things I would say that would be important to, you know, here is one, realize what the numbers really are to realize that you can't beat someone who's really dedicated, who's giving all that effort and time with your half-ass effort. You can't. It's impossible. You're not going to get lucky. You're going to fucking lose to that person. So you have to then decide what's worth to you, right? To me, it's worth staying on the routine.

Not because, not just just because but because i want to protect myself from going backwards um and then you know you you've got to force yourself through those things and and for me once i understand the consequences it becomes easier to push through so that's that's my answer and i'll also add to that guys just so you're hearing andy say this we still have fucking fun. Like, you know what I'm saying? It's always a good time. Like, it's never like, oh, it's robotic shit.

Like, no, we're having a good time. It's always good. So I think people will hear that and be like, oh, that just means I'm going to be in this. Well, that's because they haven't acclimated their life to the new way. To the new right. Yeah, yeah. And that's, you know, dude, I'm just telling you, man, when you take a break And that's, you know, dude, I'm just telling you, man, uh, when you, when you take a

break from that lifestyle, you realize that you're wasting a lot of, a lot of your life. That's just, it's just the truth. And dude, everyone, and I'm not pooing on it or making people feel bad, bro. I live that life. And honestly, I still love to do that shit. I just know what it costs me. So I don't do it as much. So that's how I feel about it. Yeah. All right. So next question. All right. So I'm on, I'm, I'm beginning my success journey, right. Um, and you know, I'm about, I would say I'm about halfway through of where my initial goals were. I'm doing pretty freaking good. Um, and halfway through this journey, it seems like all you've been met with was jealousy, envy, you know, lack of support. And it mainly comes from your friends,

sometimes even family. So how do you handle the lack of support from friends and families when you're starting out on your success journey? Yeah. You shouldn't expect support. I mean, dude, that's entitlement mentality that's been brought into our culture over the last 25 years. The same thing that's caused the degradation of basically our whole fucking societal framework at this point. you haven't done anything to earn the support or the belief or the expectation. And so you shouldn't expect people to believe in you when you say, when you're just little old you and you say, I'm going to fucking do this great thing. I mean, the people, instead of expecting people to believe in you, you should be super thankful for the people that do believe in you because they don't have any reason to believe in you. So maybe if you switch your perspective from that expectation, why the fuck don't you believe in me? Fuck you. To, hey man, I'm, you know, I don't have many supporters, but thank you for believing in me. And then take all the people who don't support and use that as fuel. Okay. Like if you can't

figure out how to turn criticism, first of all, criticism comes in two forms. A lot of times, we get frustrated with people who criticize us when in reality, they're giving us a peek into a place to improve, right? But we can't hear it because we're offended or we're upset or we're emotional. So you have to identify, is the criticism valid? Is it real shit? Or is it just somebody trolling you to get an emotional reaction? Either way, it's useful because one, you can take the criticism, examine your whatever it is they're criticizing and see if you can improve, which is what smart people do. And if you can't improve and you're doing your best, you write that shit off and you say, no, I'm doing it here. You know, and then if you get the troll that's, you know, or like the aunt or the uncle or whoever that says,

oh yeah, good luck with that shit. You know, that that's for rich people or that's for this, or they're discouraging you. Then you take that shit, you put it in your brain. And every time you decide, every time you start feeling lazy, every time you start feeling like, man, this is too much, think of that shit because it'll keep you going. All right. And there's two kinds of people, by the way. You know, one one person hears that shit and they're like, oh, man, fuck, I can't do it, man. Fuck your uncle. Your uncle don't know motherfucking shit. He never did what you're trying to do. You fucking look up to him because he's your uncle. But that ain't a good enough reason to take what he says and not shove it down his fucking throat. Dude, I got told my whole life, dude, my whole fucking professional, the first 15 years of my company, I got asked

regularly by people I knew my whole life. Oh, you still got that little vitamin shop? I mean, dude, and like I wanted to, dude, I know every motherfucker to ask me that. I can fucking think of them. I can see their fucking face right now. Right. And, and, and dude, I'm way past that. But the point is that'll still get me to execute on projects now. Like, dude, when I have shit that I got to do that I'm not looking forward to doing, because contrary to popular belief, um, I don't like doing everything I got to do every day. Like everybody's like, Oh, I love your fucking shit. Yeah. You, you, I love it belief, I don't like doing everything I got to do every day. Like everybody's like, oh, I love your fucking shit. Yeah, I love it, but I don't love everything about it all the time, you know? And so I think of those things and they drive me to take action.

And so that's really the trick here. The trick is realizing that entrepreneurship and success is really fucking hard. So you have to have and develop the ability to use literally everything you can as fuel and as motivation to move yourself forward because it's that hard. So my advice would be stop thinking that they hate you. Start listening a little closer. Maybe you can improve for some of the shit they say. And the motherfuckers that make you mad that, that, that, that, you know, are wrong. Remember that shit and use it because that's going to be the most valuable shit you ever fucking hear. I can promise you that everybody talks about all this shit they learn and, and, you know, positive reinforcement. And I get it, dude, but positivity really is, is, you know, it's, it's, yeah, bro, it's limited. It's, it's only part of the equation. Sometimes

we got to be told, uh, some negative shit to get us off the fucking, get us off our asses. Everybody's like that. So embrace those opportunities to use that because it's a gift. It's a gift that most people will hear and fucking let it go one ear out the other and sit their whole life and be upset about it. Instead of being upset about it, say, hey, you know what? Fuck you, Uncle Joe. Right. You know what I'm saying?

Fuck you, Tony. Yeah. What's your name? But you know what I'm saying? Like, dude, it's we have to understand that we haven't earned it. And then, you know what will happen after you've used their fuel for 20 fucking years and you're fucking still pissed about it. You'll be able to appreciate them for what they gave you. Right. Because now I look at the people who said that and I'm not bitter. I'm actually

fucking thankful. I'm thankful they said that shit to me. I'm thankful they doubted me. I'm thankful that they fucking didn't believe I could do these things because that's driven me to improve. So while, you know, and, and dude, people realize once you figured it, like, dude, all the motherfuckers said a shit to me today. Now they're like, damn. Okay. Like now it's a big vitamin. Yeah. Like I fed them their piece of pie, bro. That feels good. You know? So use it. That's my advice. That's fucking fire. All right. We're two for two. Here we go. All right. I'm working a corporate job full time. Okay. But I also have a respectable side hustle. Okay. How do you know when it's time to leave

the security of a full-time job and just go all in on yourself and take that side hustle to the next level? Oh, well, first of all, it's very simple. It's math, dude. Once you can get to a point where you can pay your bills for your new hustle. Okay. I don't like the side hustle. I don't like that terminology because it makes it feel like it's not ever real. But I would say your project. Okay. Once your project gets to a point, like I fucking hate that term side hustle. It sounds like you're going to lose, bro. Sounds like something your uncle Joe tells you. Yeah. It sounds like you're going to lose, bro. It sounds like something your Uncle Joe tells you. Yeah.

That it is. It sounds like you're going to fucking lose. Yeah. Okay? It sounds like a bunch of weak shit. Okay? So, quit calling it your side hustle and start calling it your fucking project. Here's my project.

This is what I'm going to do. It sounds more confident, doesn't it? No, for sure. Yeah. Like, I'm fucking doing this. For sure. You know? Not, oh, I'm siding and seeing how it's fucking going.

Stick my toe in the water. Toe in the water. Yeah, right. Yeah. No, dude. Oh, it's a little cold. Yeah, like I'm fucking doing this. For sure. You know, not, oh, I'm siding, seeing how it's fucking going. Stick my toe in the water. Toe in the water. Yeah, right. No, dude. Oh, it's a little cold. Yeah, right. No, it's going to be cold for a while. But once that thing gets warm enough and it can start paying the bills, all right, where

you don't need your other source of income, if you're serious, which you should be, that's when you move, okay? And a lot of people never get to that point because they live beyond their means. So there's actually a two in one answer here. One, when you start that project that your goal is to eventually become your life work, you should be reducing your costs of living. You should be downsizing your apartment, however you could cut whatever it is out, okay, and start running real lean, all right? That gives you flexibility. A lot of you guys want to flex and you want to

fucking drive shit that you shouldn't be driving and live places you shouldn't be living. And what that does is that removes your ability to be agile and flexible in life circumstances. And you have to be when it comes to being an entrepreneur. So my advice would be to take your expenses, get them streamlined, get your project to a point where it's paying your bills. And then I would transition away from this and go over here full time. Okay. And that's how you do that. That's how you make that transition. A lot of people Will do that too soon, right? They'll jump into this with no income and then you know They have no way to survive and then they have to go back that happens a lot

but What also happens is people wait too late. So what they do is they start this project They stay over here in this job and they wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then this never happens because they never have the courage to make that jump. All right. So that's how you need to be thinking about it. You need to think of it as first off, reduce drag, you know, reduce your expenses, get humble, get lean, right? Move over, move into this new thing that's paying the bills and then put all your energy into it. Because over here, you're now competing with other people. And there's other people who have better circumstances than you. There's people that have rich families. There's people that

have rich parents. There's people that have, and I've competed against all these people. These are things I didn't have. All right. But here's what you do have by not having those resources is you have a zero options mentality, meaning you have to fucking execute or you will lose. All right. And that brings a sense of urgency that all the people with all the resources will never have. So if you don't have the resources and you're in a situation where you have to earn it, be thankful because all those motherfuckers that get the backing, and this was me, dude. I was so bitter. I didn't have the finances or the backing or this or that. And I was mad about it. But what I realized was, had I had those things, I would have fell back on the money instead of getting creative and learning my skills.

So you guys out there that are in the situation, this person where they're just getting started and they want to jump in, do so intelligently, but also realize that starting so lean is actually a great thing because it forces you to learn creativity. And then what happens is you develop skills that your bigger competitors don't have. So for example, the big giant companies out there that are being run now, they're not run by the founders of those companies. They're run by employees that have never been through the trials and tribulations and fire that you're about to put yourself through. So you're going to learn all these lessons and then they're sitting there not understanding the game because they never went

through it, which gives you an intelligence advantage, an experience advantage over even the bigger companies who have been around longer, if that makes sense. So you have to put yourself through this process because dude, that fire and battle that you go through is what produces all the skills and the skills are what pays the fucking bills. All right. And let you compete, uh, you know, on a playing field where you're not necessarily the one with the most resources so it's a long answer but no you know i mean so didn't you because didn't you when you first started s2 didn't you work as like a bartender on the side but you put all you were still full

on in the project yeah but you had the side hustles yeah but i was also 19 20 21 years old 22 years old dude you know there dude. A lot of these people have families right now, right? They have a family. So one of the things that I had that worked for me that was for a lot of people listening, you're going to resonate with is I didn't have any drag when I started my business. I didn't have kids. I didn't have a family. And I don't mean to insult anybody by calling it drag. I'm just using the terminology. I didn't have any obligations that were real, right? So that, and that's where you want to be as much as possible when you start, dude, I'm just telling you, it's just much easier. But if you do happen to have those things, you need to minimize and streamline it so you can

get your energy focus over here. Because dude, I don't care how good you are. There's, if you're taking, if you're taking the average human, all right, and even a smart human, and you're going against someone who's average and just willing to put in the time, the guy who's willing to put in the time 100% is probably going to beat the guy who's smart because we're all not that far away from each other.

You know what I'm saying? So anybody can win. Like, that's why they say football, you know, like any given Sunday. So like, dude, this is, you are not that much better. And the guy you think is better is not that much better than you. And you just have to understand

where the time equation plays out and make it so you have the biggest possible chance to succeed there. So, awesome. Cool. Well, that's surprise number two in the books. Yeah. Surprise again, motherfuckers.

All right, guys, if you got some value, share the show. If you got a question, email it in. Ask Andy at andyfrusella.com. And I'll talk to you guys next time. Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in the cold Bad bitch, booted swole, got her on bankroll Can't fold, that's a no, headshot, case closed