REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 13. Real Talk: Don't Accept Yourself, It's A Trap

Episode Date: March 12, 2020

Today's society preaches being happy and accepting yourself without putting in the required work necessary. In today's Real Talk episode we combat the lies that keep us average.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions In a project livin', spoke it till existence Mode changed to 50, got more cars than diddy I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250 What's up guys, Andy Frisella here And this is the show for the realest Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society And welcome to Motherfuckin' Reality

Guys, look, we're gonna have a short talk today, but it's important, okay? Because this episode could save your entire life. A lot of people who don't understand the concept of what I'm going to talk about right now, they are going to ruin their entire lives. So pay attention and think about what I'm talking about. The purpose of this episode, man, it really comes to me from my heart. This is something I believe in. It's something I'm talking about. The purpose of this episode, man, it really comes to me from my heart. This is something I believe in. It's something I'm passionate about. It's something I talk about often, and it's something that's important for you guys to understand.

When we look around at every single person, just about every single one that we see online, every single post, notice how much false victimhood is going on. False ideas going on like people are some sort of victims of society, of oppression, of biases. And the truth is the only thing these people are victims of is their own weak ass thoughts and unwillingness to do the work. That's the truth. But why isn't it being told? Everywhere we look right now, we see everybody talking about kindness. The problem is most of these people don't even understand what true kindness is. They think kindness equals being nice and not challenging people and being polite and fluffy. And dude, there's a time to be nice and there's a time to

be fluffy and there's a time to be courteous. But when you're talking about helping people and you're talking about improving and you're talking about having a better life, that is not kindness. Okay. All successful people in the history of the fucking earth know that that is not the definition of kindness. Kindness is telling people the truth. When people are told the truth, they have the ability to change their actions. When you get to change your actions, you have the ability to produce a different and better result. Instead of that kind of kindness, we have so many people out there in society talking about how bad they have it. And

all these so-called spiritual gurus are just reinforcing this notion of victimhood. You look around, dude, look at what they say. The gurus are all saying the same shit. However you act, whatever you do, no matter what's screwed up about you, no matter what's going on in your life, and no matter how much money you make you should feel amazing about yourself you should be happy with who you are is that really kindness really i don't think so it's not telling people the truth it's telling people to embrace mediocrity and that isn't kind no matter how much fluff you want to put around it. The moment it feels good for you to accept mediocrity is the moment you have zero chance

of improving as a person. If you decide that mediocrity is how you're going to accept yourself, I can promise you most of your life is going to always look half-ass, okay? If you accept mediocrity, you are never going to challenge yourself to try anything outside of your comfort zone. That means you actually will never grow as well. Accomplishing hard things is how we feel great about ourselves. So if you tell people things that keep them from discovering the path to being better, guess what? That's not kindness.

Successful people, guys, understand this as truth. They live by this law. They understand it's not kind to unconditionally accept our own mediocrity. They also understand how dangerous it is. The reason it's dangerous is this. If you buy into this mentality of false victimhood and you start to think you can solve your problems with affirmations and quote unquote acceptance and all these other things that we see everywhere we look right now, nothing is ever going to change ever. Yeah, man, I wish

it were different. I really do wish it were different. I wish it were easy to change and improve, but guess what? It's fucking not. All right. And what's scary is that too many people out there are telling you otherwise, everywhere you look, you have people telling you to accept yourself and everything in your life the way it is. They're saying you're worth it and you are enough. And they are basically reinforcing everybody staying exactly where they are. And these people are not doing the hard work to improve. And that hard work is what leads to happiness so like i said this is not kindness dude when i was 350 fucking pounds if i looked in the mirror and said to myself andy you look good you should feel great about yourself that's a lie because the truth is i ate like shit for years before that and i fell

off all the good habits but But if I looked at myself, which is what I did. And I said, Hey bro, I love you, but man, you look like shit and you've been off your game and it's time to get your shit together. That's telling myself the truth. That's being kind to myself. That's the kind of message that is going to help me improve and change. It's the kind of message that's going to help me improve and change. It's the kind of message that's going to help everyone change and be happy, including you. But we don't have that right now anywhere that I can see. Why aren't we out there encouraging people to be kind to themselves by giving themselves the unbiased truth about the situation. How hard is it to look yourself in the mirror

and tell yourself the fucking truth? Yeah, dude, sometimes it's really, really hard. Sometimes it does make you feel really bad. But wouldn't you rather feel like shit for five minutes and then craft a plan to actually fix the problem? Wouldn't that feel better than telling yourself a bunch of feel good nonsense up front and then still having the same problems you have right now a year from now?

When you look at your body, the reason you don't like your body is because you haven't earned the right to feel good about your body. When you look at your bank account and it's less than what you think it should be, the reason it's less than what you think it should be, the reason it's less than what you think it should be isn't because someone's screwing you. It's because you haven't done the work required to have a different fucking number there. It's that simple.

You know that's the truth. The reason your life isn't where you want it to be mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially is because you're not buying into the concept of having to earn things. And let me tell you something. physically, spiritually, and financially is because you're not buying into the concept of having to earn things. And let me tell you something, earning happiness is a requirement as well. A lot of you are probably sitting there right now and you're rolling your eyes. You're saying, oh, you know what? I just want to be happy. And you think that's enough. But the truth is,

guys, and this is the secret, happiness is earned. Just like earning the right to feel good about your body, just like earning everything else in your life. The reason you don't have happiness is because you haven't been disciplined in the rest of your life. You haven't paid the price to look yourself in the mirror and say, hey, man, I'm fucking proud of you. When you don't pay that price, you don't get the prize of happiness. This is very simple. A lot of people will say that

everybody deserves to be happy. You know what? I don't buy into that shit. If you're sitting on the couch and you're living a life less than what it could be, you do not deserve to be happy. That is not how the world works. You were put here to go on a journey and that journey is the fulfillment of your own true potential. And when you don't even attempt to fulfill that potential, you're not going to be happy ever. If you are aware of the purpose of this journey, if you are listening to this right now, if you have any ambition whatsoever to be better and you don't pursue that ambition, you are going to be unhappy. Yes, there's lots of people who could be happy not pursuing that journey. I mean, look around, dude. Do we know people who are happy with much

less and that we would say live a more average life, so to speak? Yeah. People who might not be in perfect shape, happy. People who might not be making a ton of money, happy. People who might not have the best family situation, happy. Yes. Those people seem to be happy, but there's more to it that you have to understand. Okay. Understand that the reason that those people can feel that way isn't because of the way they're living it's because they aren't aware of what their life could be and guess what by default because you're listening to this show you probably are or you wouldn't be listening you'd be out there listening to the kardashians okay so instead of whining and pouting and crying and bitching about everything you don't like, instead of complaining about how things should be,

I think it would serve you guys better to actually invest in yourself, to actually put in the work, to actually stop and say, what is the truth about myself? The truth is, I haven't been doing what I need to do. The truth is, I could do a better job. The truth is, it's not everybody else's fault. When you start to tell yourself the truth about these things, you end up in a scenario where you're in control. So that feeling you know that we all have on the inside of being out of

control that goes away. When you start to accept responsibility for your own actions, instead of writing another fucking quote unquote, vulnerable posts, that's completely self-driven. That is being truly kind to yourself. That is when things will begin to change, and that is when you're going to start to earn the right to be happy. You want another example of mediocrity being shoved down everybody's throats? Look around at the political ads right now and everybody criticizing these people for being wealthy, which that's fine. If you don't like the fact they're wealthy, that's okay. But when did becoming financially successful in life and becoming that kind of a person, a person with means become a bad thing?

Why are we criticizing people for doing things that we weren't willing to do and that they got paid for? Now, I get it, dude. Politics, maybe it's a bad example. The truth is, I think they're all shit bags anyway. But when you vilify success, don't expect the universe to deliver it to you. You're going to end up with nothing because that's not the way the universe works.

So before you buy into this idea of the whole entire world and the universe needing to change for you, let me save you your entire fucking lifetime and remind you that it's not going to happen. What is going to happen is you're going to spend your entire life talking about loving yourself and being kind and accepting yourself and none of it's going to be true. Then your time on earth is going to end and you're going to feel like shit. That's something you should probably think about and honestly you should probably be worried about.

While you're sitting there worrying about this. A lot of us, we're going to continue to work to be better. We're going to put in the work on our bodies. We're going to put in the work on our finances and our business. We're going to put in the work to become better families. We're going to put in the work to understand the universe and God better. We're going to put in the work to understand the universe and God better. We're going to put in the work to be better fucking people. And guess what's going to happen because of that? All of those things.

This is a universal truth of the world that has gotten lost in society. When you put in the input, you get the output. Okay. If you've been putting in the inputs and you haven't got the result yet the only things that could be wrong is that you're putting in the wrong input or you haven't been doing it long enough that's it so while the whole world decides to sell mediocrity and jam it down our throats i think it would be wise for all of us to stop and say, what do I really want? Do I want to live a life of false victimhood, complaining all the time, pouting all the time, whining all the time, and never changing ever? I don't think anybody wants that. Guys, listen, the bottom line here is this. Kindness is unbiased truth.

Get that through your fucking heads. Someone who tells you the truth about a situation is a million times more valuable than the person who pacifies your inner desires that don't jive with the reality of how life works. So you have to make a decision. Fake kindness, lies, pacifying, mediocrity, or real kindness, truth,

that eventually result in happiness when you combine them with action. These are your only two options. And guys, let me tell you, I would choose wisely because whether you agree right now or you don't, there is going to come a time in your life when you realize that this is the truth. And I hope that time comes before it's too late.