REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 130. 3 Basic Principles Of Feeling Alive

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Do you look at other people and think “I wonder what makes them feel alive”? Stop wondering. On today’s episode, Andy explains the 3 key elements which make up the recipe to feel alive every single day of your life. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Book Andy to Be on Your Podcast Follow Andy on Instagram Follow Andy on Facebook Take complete control of your life - 75 HARD Get my raw & uncensored advice about success & life delivered to you daily!

What is up guys, it's Danny Priscilla and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today, we got Thursday, Thursday thunder. I don't know what we're going to call it. It doesn't really matter. It's going to go in your ear. It's going to make you feel a certain way. And that's how we're going to do it today. I didn't have anything to really talk to you about that was on my mind. So what I did was, and if you didn't see it, I put up a little question bubble in my Instagram story and said, hey, the first person to ask me a meaningful question or a good question, I'm going to answer it and make a podcast about it. And somebody did. And it was a really good question. The question was, what makes you feel alive?

And I like that question because the thing that makes me feel alive is going to be the thing that makes you feel alive as well. And so I'm going to step by step, break down those things here in just a second. But I did get one semi-negative question that I do want to address up front. And somebody typed in there, why do you demean people on your show? And I feel like that person was actually asking the question. They weren't trying to be rude. So I would like to address it. For those of you that follow me, you understand I'm not everybody's cup of tea and I'm cool with that. There are certain kinds of people that respond certain ways. There's people who respond to things that make them feel good in the moment. I personally have never responded to those things. I personally don't think those

things actually change people. And I think in my opinion, and I have a pretty good one because I live in this space, that most people that work for that positive or think they respond to that positivity aren't actually responding to it. They feel like they like it because it makes them feel good for a few minutes or a few seconds if they're scrolling, right? They read something nice and say, oh yeah, that's nice. And they click the button and they feel good. And I understand that that's what you think is motivation. And that's what you think personal development is. But that's not what personal development is. Personal development is hearing

the truth, acknowledging your lack of whatever it is that you're missing on, fixing that and becoming better in the real world. It's not really about your feelings. So when you hear me, and I very rarely explain this, because if you listen to me enough, you'll grasp it. But for those of you that are new, if you hear me and you think, damn, dude, that's some fucked up shit that he's saying, understand that what I'm doing is I'm telling you what needs to be heard so that you take action. And the reason that I share these things with you is because this is the dialogue that has been in my head that has helped push me to accomplish the things that I've

accomplished. And I've accomplished a fucking lot. All right. And I have a long way to go. And in the big picture of things, I haven't done shit. But for the time I have spent here, I've done some things. And so what I'm doing is I'm trying to let you in on what it really takes to change. You may not like hearing it up front. You may not like the tone. You may think it's too aggressive. But if you break down the truth, I think you'll always find that it connects and it drives action. And that's who I'm concerned about reaching. I am not concerned about making you feel good. I am concerned about teaching you how to make you feel good. And there's a massive difference. Now, with the show and the question that I was asked, what makes you feel alive? I have three key things that I talk about that create happiness

and fulfillment. All right. And I'm going to talk to you about these things very quickly. And I'm going to let you in on how I relate them to my life. Okay. So the first thing is purpose. If you don't have a purpose that's greater than yourself, you will never feel fulfilled. You can never be happy and you can never feel quote unquote alive. All right. It's a very empty existence to live exclusively for yourself. And let me explain how I learned this lesson. I learned this lesson after about 15 years in business. Okay. I was sitting on my couch. I was making a fuck ton of money. I couldn't go to work because I had pneumonia and I was super sick. And I was watching movies and sitting on the TV and I'm checking my bank app

and my money's just going up and up and up. And I'm sitting there not doing shit. And at first it was cool. It's like, okay, cool, man. I'm getting paid to chill. I like that. That's success. But after the three weeks that I had to stay home, after about 10 days of this shit, I'm like, fuck, this really sucks. And it didn't matter how much money I saw coming through. I felt like shit. And then realization came to me. And the realization was, and it clicked for me all at once. It was like, damn, well, this is why rich people kill themselves. And I figured out real quick that the money wasn't anything to do with the purpose. And I realigned my purpose

100% onto my own staff and onto my own customers and onto everybody that I had responsibility to look out for. And when I flipped my purpose from making sure that my life was taken care of to making sure that their lives were better and taken care of, okay? And for my employees, this means careers. It means skill development. It means personally improving their physical health, their mental health, all of these things. For my customers, it's the same thing. We do these in all different ways, all right? But having that purpose that was bigger than myself made me feel like I had a reason or a mission to be here, and you cannot feel alive or fulfill without a purpose. All right. A lot of you are making the freedom of this country your purpose right now. That's an amazing thing. And

you feel more excited and more alive than you felt in a long time. And you might be a little bit scared and a little bit nervous, but you know that what you're doing is important so it makes you feel alive. All right. So purpose is the first step on that. The second step to me feeling alive was discipline. All right. When I discovered how important discipline was to happiness was basically when I put all the little moving pieces together over 20 years. And that program is called 75 Hard. You guys might've heard of it. But what it is, is I figured out that if I was in total control of my environment and for me, and I know it's different for everybody, but for me, my environment typically that I didn't control had to do with my eating and my training and my

alcohol. Okay. If you stuck a beer in my face, I was drinking it. If you stuck a pizza in my face, I was eating it and I didn't have control. I didn't have enough control to go to a restaurant and look at a menu and order things that were healthy for me. And dude, and I know for a lot of you listening right now, you still don't have that control. Like when you start looking at the menu, you look at like, you know, you, you had the intention to order something that you're supposed to eat and you know, that's good for you, but you start seeing, you know, the appetizers or the nachos or the, the things that sound great to you and you start telling yourself a story, you start telling yourself, well, fuck it, man. I'll work extra hard tomorrow to get this off, even though

you know you shouldn't do it. Or you start telling yourself something like, well, I'm here with my family and I don't get to spend very much time with my family, so I'm going to enjoy that. Motherfucker, what does you putting shit in your mouth have to do with enjoying time with your family? All right, let's be real. Okay. So we start telling ourselves all of these stories and all of these stories lead to us compromising on our discipline, which erodes our confidence. It erodes our belief in ourself. It erodes our power in this universe. All right. So once I figured out that I needed to control the things that I was actually in control of and look at that as a way of improving my discipline stock. So what I'm explaining here is every time I say no to that fucking beer, I'm like, yeah, dude,

you didn't win beer. I fucking won. And as stupid as that sounds, it's like I'm talking shit to that beer. Like, fuck you beer. Right? Like that's how I look at it. And once I figured that out and I knew that every time I started overcoming those challenges, I was building my discipline stock, just like a fucking John Madden football game where your speed goes from 90 to 91 to 97. I'm pumping my stock up and discipline. And once I figured out how to do that and what it actually meant to my life, I started to become more alive. All right. So discipline is the second part of feeling alive. And the third part of feeling alive, which is the most important part for any of us, because it's so easy to lose sight of. The third part is gratitude. We had our Monday meeting here at First Form today. We had a couple of gentlemen from our charity that we support here,

Brace for Impact, who are from Haiti. These two men were actually, they're Haitians. They grew up in Haiti. One of them grew up in Haiti until he was 14 years old. Then he moved to the United States. And these are friends of mine, by the way. Moved to the United States, learned English, got a soccer scholarship, has built a career here in the United States working for Brace for Impact, one of our favorite charities here at First Form, being an administrator for his community back in Haiti, doing things to create more opportunities for young men and young women that are coming from there, like he got to experience. And the other gentleman that was here, who was also from Haiti, he lives in Haiti. He actually is a doctor and the administrator of the hospital that this other gentleman's charity, Brace for

Impact, built. And they were here talking about the simple things to our company that they had to do to survive. Both of these men had to be given up by their families in an orphanage in Haiti so that they could actually eat and get water. Their family couldn't provide it for them, so they had to give them up to even eat or have water to survive. All right? These men have now grown up with literally zero opportunity in front of them to become contributors because they created the opportunities themselves as they went to become contributors to their own cause and to help other men and women like him or other children become men and women like they have. Okay. And you want to talk about gratitude? All right. My whole company, we're all sitting here

with fucking $2,000 laptops and $1,000 fucking iPhones. And we get to come to this amazing facility and train and talk to people and help people. And we get to go out to eat at places and we all have a place to sleep and we all have a place to live. And we're sitting here listening to these men talk about the things they had to go through to even survive. You want to talk about gratitude? We as America all need to be reminded of gratitude. And it happens to be one of the three key elements that will make you feel alive as well. So when you think about what you're grateful for and you think about what you have and you automatically go to all this shit that you think you don't have, you are fucking lying to yourself. If you are listening to the show, you were lying to yourself.

You have tons of good things in your life. You have tons of opportunity. And if you don't have opportunity, you at least have the ability to cultivate the discipline and the drive and the purpose to create that opportunity like those two men did. So those are the things that make me feel alive and they will make you feel alive as well. Purpose, discipline, and gratitude. If you incorporate these three things into your life every single day on a micro level, and I'm talking about a discipline of these things daily, you will feel like a completely different person. You will feel alive, not just sometimes, not just when you have adrenaline, but literally every fucking day. A lot of people ask me,

where my passion comes from? Why are you so passionate? I'm passionate because I feel alive every fucking day. And how I feel alive is the same way you're going to feel alive. Practice these three things on a micro level every single day. So guys, that's it. I really thought that was cool how we got the idea for the show from the Q&A bubble. I might do that. Keep an eye out on my story for that because I get bombarded with questions right away. So I'm not going to leave it up all the way. But in six minutes, I had like 10, 20 pages of screenshots of awesome questions. And I'd like to take the opportunity also, guys, to thank you guys for supporting the show. You know, I really don't

gain a whole lot by talking about all these things going on in society. But I feel they're important and I feel that the timing is important. And if I didn't, I wouldn't talk about them. All I'd ever talk about is fucking making money and success like I used to. But the truth is guys, without the freedom of our country, it's much harder to achieve those things. And we're going to have to fight much longer, much harder to create those opportunities, just like these men did that I described in the show. Here in America, we don't have to worry about those things just yet, but we are headed in a direction to where we will. And I don't want to go there. So that's why I asked you guys to speak up. That's why I asked you guys to support what that message is. And I really, really, really

appreciate the enthusiasm that you guys show for that area that we cover in the show. So thank you guys. I'd like to remind you, if you got something from the show, if it made you think, if it improved your skillset, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective, give us a share. Bring us up in the next conversation you have about self-improvement or what's going on in the world. So I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. And I'll talk to you next time.