REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 137. Q&AF: Taking Advice, Need Vs Wants & Feeling Alone

Episode Date: September 2, 2021

How do you know when it’s a “need” or a “want”? On today's Q&AF episode, Andy talks about who you should solicit advice from, how you should differentiate between needs & wants and what you should do when you feel alone in your success journey.

What's up guys, it's Daniel Priscilla and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we've got a Q and AF, I think. Is that what we're doing today? All right. Just a reminder before we get going, we do this show for free, all right? We don't run ads. I'm not going to try to sell you a whole bunch of shit during the time that we have together. I'm not going to flood your Instagram with ads for my show. If we do good and you like the show and it made you laugh and answer some questions, if it gave you a new way to think, if you just had some respect for the way that I like

to express myself, give us a share. Hey, it's a unique way, bro. I ain't mad at it. I ain't mad at it. It is what it is. All right. Man, you watch those videos in my story today? Holy shit. Dude, you know what's funny is I am totally anti-cancel culture. Like I had some people reach out. For you guys that haven't been following my Instagram, I post some Project Veritas videos of this teacher who was admitting, bragging at lunch about turning on hidden camera. He didn't know he was being filmed.

About turning his students into little communist activists and crazy shit. Revolutionaries. Yeah. That's what he said. I have 180 days to turn them into revolutionaries. Something like that. I might be misquoting.

Quote and then quote. Okay. I think that's what he said. But anyhow, we see more videos and more videos and more videos of these teachers being exposed, indoctrinating other people's kids into this crazy line of thinking, which most parents, and it is their fault, have become unaware of. OK, parents got to start paying attention. Well, I mean, there's a reasonable expectation that you should send your child to school.

I agree. And they'll teach that child that one plus one equals two. Not that two plus two is equals four is fucking racist. And not like I agree. There's a reasonable expectation. I agree. But clearly, reasonable expectations don't mean shit anymore because we do also have a reasonable expectation that what's on the news should be fucking factual. And not twist it into a narrative to get people to feel a certain way.

Yeah. All right. The the the manufactured division in this country is fucking out of control. And I think we can all agree with that. And I agree reasonable expectations, but I think we are in a time where we cannot trust reasonable expectations anymore. And so I do have, and by the way, I'm, I'm talking about me too. Okay.

When I say you parents, I'm talking about me. We all took our eyes off the ball. All right. We were out trying to do and execute within the beautiful system that is America. Okay. And we stopped caring about our civic duties to get involved and make sure that we preserve the freedom. I can accept my part of responsibility for that, even though I've been vocal for the last 10 years on it. I'm not, look, we're all together. Okay. So I'm not saying, hey, you people, I'm saying all of us.

Okay. Now, back to the fucking story. This guy is not and doesn't know that he's getting recorded saying all this crazy shit. Then somebody approaches him on the street later that day and his responses and his girlfriend's response were fucking gold. You know, I'm not really comfortable with you. What the fuck are you guys talking about you're comfortable enough to indoctrinate other people's kids so much so that this person brags in the video about how he makes them take a uh social positioning test at the beginning of their time and they get extra credit

points the further left they move in their ideology and if they go to to you know far right extreme for them for i'm sorry i apologize uh if they go to far left demonstrations he gives them extra credit for class yeah and that's insane it's insane okay and i want to delineate here okay that is not representative of all people who are identifying as quote unquote Democrats. No. All right. This is this, this, I want to say a couple of things about this because I got some people

saying to me, well, you know, I didn't think you were for cancel culture. I'm not. Yeah. But what I'm also not for is fucking weak ass hypocrite shit. If you're going to get there and you're going to say, I'm ready to, I'm turning these people into revolutionaries, blah, blah, blah. And then you fucking get confronted and you're like, Oh, I'm not comfortable with this, but you're comfortable enough to fuck with other people's kids and the way they think when your responsibility is to actually just teach them

skills so they can survive in life. Fuck you, dude. Oh yeah. Period. And then he puts out a video playing the victim saying, and dude, look, none of this shit is right. Okay. So I'm not saying that people should go bury these people or this or that, but what needs to happen is this shit needs to stop altogether. And so we have this guy and puts out a video today saying, oh, they're coming after my job. And, you know, they're doing like starting to play the victim, bro. You fucking people have done this to everybody and held everybody hostage to your fucking narrative for the last 10 fucking years. Okay. This is what they, this is how they've operated. Let's group together. Let's attack them. Let's get them fired. Let's get it. Let's ruin their lives. Blah, blah, blah.

And now it turned back because you aren't aware that the tide has turned now. Okay. Which it has, people have figured out that fucking who the majority is. And it ain't these crazy people and even the democrats the true democrats who are americans at heart know that that is so fucked up yeah okay because i'm hearing from oh yeah and that's sharing it everywhere i'm yeah yeah and so look man we all have to come together and say hey okay don't fucking do this shit no more then yeah because i'm tired of the hypocrisy dude these people every time they attack someone dude i've been attacked a thousand times in the last fucking four years i mean dude so much so that i truly do not give a fuck okay but every time like if i ever call them out like because i don I don't, like I don't, I don't

put people on blast very often, but anytime I have, bro, they get destroyed. They have to delete their Instagram. You know what I'm saying? And then they message me and they like, your people were death threatening me and this and that. Like they start playing. I'm like, bro, show me the messages of the death threats. I already blocked them and deleted them.

Yeah. No, you just don't like a little heat that you're welcome to dish out. Okay. So the fucking shit needs to stop both ways. Now these teachers like this have no place in education. Now do their lives need to be ruined and we need to go get them? That's not what I'm saying at all. But what I am saying is we need to get fucking involved in removing this this style of teaching from our schools otherwise we will lose our country completely completely and i will say this too as far as project veritas goes guys like when we talk about like you know these how biased and all the propaganda going on in the media project veritas is what media should look like. That's what it used to look like. See, you don't remember this.

I'm young. Back in the day, bro, I don't know, in the early 2000s and before, it was normal to see true investigative reporting. Real journalism. Yeah, and the stations were not biased like they are now. It wasn't always this way.

Project Veritas does it how it should be that's how it should always be done yeah well you know and people argue that they only attack a certain side of the aisle which is not true either because you go back like they've been around for a minute so if you actually go back well dude they just tell the truth dude people people like to say anything that's anything that's not on the narrative like that's what i'm saying about this dude bro yeah and then we'll get into questions but like this guy anything that's not on the narrative. Like, that's what I'm saying about this dude, bro. Yeah. And then we'll get into questions. But, like, this guy.

Like, he's over there fucking crying and trying to get sympathy now. I'm concerned about my safety. Yeah. No shit, bro. You did that. You and your people have done this to people for the last 10 years in this country. Exactly. Okay?

So, if you don't like it, don't fucking do it to people. Right. Yeah. You know how hard, you know how hard you know how far you have to push regular people to get them to fucking snap back like that and that's what people are learning now like people are snapping back that snap back's gonna be real yeah dude and it's listen i'm for reasonable shit you know i'm saying but and i've been saying this for the last year and a half like hey you guys ain't gonna like the fucking snapback that you're starting to build yeah and i try to warn people you know what i'm saying but dude the thing

is is like um this guy you know they're being exposed to the same tactics that they've imposed on everybody else and then they play like the victim. You know, anything that goes against their narrative is racist, misogynistic. Narcissistic. Fascist. White supremacist. And like, dude, that's what they've done this whole time. And they try to brand everybody that isn't with them. No.

And they bully everybody into being with them because they're afraid of the title they're going to get if they're not. Right. Right. And, and, and dude, this guy's on TV crying, bro.

Fuck off. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like that's the most hip, hip, hypocritical shit I could possibly think of. And dude, the people you,

you guys out there who are moderates and Democrats at heart, you need to fucking call this shit out just as much as anybody else. It's call a spade a spade. Right. Like, dude, we are 80% in the middle. Okay. I consider the reasonable 80%. We all agree. You guys might not agree with every fucking thing I say, but if we sit down, we're going to agree on 90%. Right. And that's something we've lost as well like i see everybody who who uh you know support trump right like they're and like dude look this is not a pro-trump statement i'm just pointing out the fucking hypocrisy on the other side too you know trump says uh didn't say enough of i guess about anti-vaccine for a lot of people well fuck dude he's 70 something years old right he's a

little bit heavy he's high risk for this shit yeah if any and maybe you think that he's a normal person and in his perspective he might think that that's a good idea for him to take yeah i mean bro what she actually just came out the other day and said that like i'm not i know mandating i know before that yeah people were on people were on him hard And it's like, dude, we have to get away on both sides from this all or nothing attitude. Like, dude, I'm going to have views that you're not going to have. And DJ, you have views that I don't share. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're actually far more conservative than I am. Yeah. And dude, you know these we for us to function properly as a country we have to get rid of this all or nothing attitude with the people we support right sometimes we're just gonna say hey i you know i agree most of the time but guess what i don't agree with that that's that's cool you know

what i'm saying just keep it moving yeah just. Just keep it moving forward, bro. So what now? What? Like, yeah, I'm saying like, I just can't stand that hypocrisy, bro. Boils my blood like that. Well, you guys going to attack these poor people? You know, all these companies get all these people fired because they said they wanted to vote for Trump or they didn't agree with your shit. And now you're on the fucking Internet playing victim. Bro, fuck off. and he's part of the he aligns with the same group has a flag in his classroom of antifa and go go watch some videos

of antifa and protests and stuff they're macing people pushing people down like they're violent extremists right so it's like we this guy's in control so i just hope that that that school district makes the right decision and gets them out of there. Bro, parents have to demand that people like that. Look, I don't mind. I really don't mind people that have different views. But when you start trying to put those views into other people's kids, that is not your job. It's not your responsibility.

Your job is to teach them skills so that they can be equipped to go out in the world and do good. Whatever they decide after that is their decision. We have crossed a line in America. We have allowed a lot of people to have influence over our kids and we've allowed it to become okay. And unchecked. And unchecked. To put this shit in, bro, that is not okay. It's not okay and we got we got to do something about it you know and doing something is what i've been saying

getting involved that's what we talk about you know i'm saying anyway fuck i could go on and on and on but maybe i should yeah but let's do some uh q and a s get it in guys so you guys know how this works uh i got fuck that guy yeah fucking i no fuck that jesus gabriel fucking gabriel bro i just can't like at least stand up and be like like because dude like when the guy asked him in the interview and he goes well what do you say to your kids that uh that that say it makes him uncomfortable he goes well it's supposed to make fascists uncomfortable so i don't know what to tell you yeah and then he's on the video the fucking same day i'm uncomfortable i'm uncomfortable with this bro as he's wearing a fucking hammer and sickle soviet union shirt in america like have we not realized dude like do you do you guys understand that that is the enemy of what this country fucking stands for but the

communist symbol it's not cool yeah it's not fucking stylish it's nothing to be proud of millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of innocent people have died because of those policies yeah all over the world through genocide through starvation it's killed more people than any ideology that's ever existed and And it is not good. And they only try to make it, they try to make it pop culture, mainstream, cool to support it. And they put all this propaganda out because that's what they need

to get people to buy into it because it's so fucking stupid. Yeah. And dangerous. And dude, like we were talking on the show before, like these guys were kind of talking in the background while I'm looking at my phone. And they were talking about propaganda.

And I'm like, bro, we shouldn't have to have propaganda. It should just be facts. And we should see what the truth is. And we should be able to operate within that truth. And America would be a really good place then. But the fact that we're even allowing propaganda at all, that's not okay. It's not okay yeah it's not okay but i got a lot more to say and and maybe i'll say it on this tour but but yeah but uh let's really do the show now sorry all right guys questions three questions so you guys know how this works i got three

questions first of all thank you guys for emailing those in. Again, email your questions in to askandyatandyfussella.com. I got three questions to ask Andy. And as always, they're going to be fucking fire. All right. Question number one. Motherfucker. Whose advice do you listen to now versus 20 years ago or even five years ago? Like how do you determine whose input is important? That's an interesting question because 10 years ago, 20 years ago, like when I, when I was very new in business, I would have listened to anybody who I thought was successful. Okay. Because like if you had a nice car and you were flashy and shit, I would have been like, I was enamored by that. Okay. So I would have asked those guys.

Um, and then what I would have done is try to model their shit, okay? Because I would be like, well, fuck, if that's working, it's got to work for me, and I'll try to do that. So that's how I would have thought about it. 10 years ago, I would have said, I'm only interested in hearing from people who have done what it is I want to do, okay? And I really wouldn't have wanted to talk to anybody else. Now, today I want to talk to everybody because I want to learn not only from the people who have done what I want to do, but I want to learn from the homeless guy on the street. I want to talk to him. I want to hear what happened to him or why he chose and learn about his path. And I know that I can pick up one or two lessons there that will help me either appreciate the path I'm on or learn about maybe some things not to do. Things like

that. You see what I'm saying? So I think as I've gotten more experience, I definitely look at things much differently. But yeah, depending on where you are, I can tell you, you can learn a lot from people if you think about not only what they're saying, but also if you can learn the mistake. Dude, learning from the mistakes of other people is one of the biggest things that you can do as an entrepreneur or somebody pursuing success that will save you years, right? That's why a group like Arte Syndicate is so popular and valuable because dude, you're learning from real business people, all the fucked up shit they've messed up and it's saving you literal years. So I would encourage people to

try to get to that point where, you know, the 20 year point that I said, where I'm trying to learn a little something from everybody. Uh, because honestly, that's where I've gotten the most growth from. So that's powerful. Yeah. Fire. Yeah. Hey, guess what? Still fuck that guy. Yeah. Fuck you, Gabriel. Question number two, how do you identify your needs versus your wants? Like, how do you, like, how do you determine that? Like what's a need versus what's a want for you right now? Uh, you know, I think you have to examine the bare minimum that you'd be willing to survive right like the bare minimum life i mean bro look that again like that last answer that question is depends on where you're at you know i'm saying like when i started in the beginning it was like

fuck dude i i gotta eat right you know what i'm saying right uh and and by the way that was a probably the most valuable time in my life because I learned how to be resourceful. And I learned how to fuck. Dude, I learned a ton of shit during that time. But I think, you know, understanding what it would take for you to be happy, even if you were struggling, is still the minimum. You know, the minimum level of how, you know what I'm saying? Like where you would want to live at. And I would consider that a need. Okay. And that, and by the way, uh, that's not a literal thing. Like some people say, Hey,

I like for me, my backup plan is go live at my farm, dude. okay i i got this farm it's beautiful the house is tiny it's it's fucking simple it's america it's america and guess what i anything above that i don't really care yeah it's all gravy dude you know the house i have now and the cars and the crazy life shit and all that shit i mean if that all went away, the company went away that, that I go live on the farm. I grow my own shit, do my own thing. And I'd be cool with that too. So like, that's my need. Right. Um, and that's changed over the years. Um, now, but I think it's important you, you figure that out. Like where, where would you, where do you have to be above? You know what I mean? For it to start being wants. And like, for me too, another key moment, uh, financially was when I could go

to dinner and not have to worry about what the bill was going to be. Okay. So like I used to be one of those people who would go to dinner and, know read the menu and see what shit costs and like try to do the math in my head yeah and um and i hated that and i also hated when i went to dinner with a group like my biggest pet peeve is like people fighting over the fucking bill or like making it awkward like i just can't 10 extra minutes you gotta split it i can't do it like dude i can't do it so everywhere i go to split it five different fucking ways. Like, dude, I can't do it. So everywhere I go to eat, I pay all the time. I always pay for the whole entire group because unless somebody sneaks it in on me, which my friends are good people, so they do.

Happens. But because I want to avoid the awkwardness. So like when I got to that level of success, I felt like I had, I felt like, I don't know. I felt like that was cool. And then everything after that, dude, like all the, the, the cars and like, you know, like all the crazy shit that I do now, that's cool, but it wasn't as cool as that. So it's kind of like diminishing returns, if that makes sense. But it's still awesome stuff.

But I'm just saying like, those are my levels of needs. Like my level, like I got to at least be able to do that with the dinner thing. Right. And then, uh, and I guess that's why I'm not afraid to take, take risks too. You know, like I'm not afraid of going back to where I came from. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm proud of who I am and where I came from. And you know, like, I'm not afraid of that and I'm willing to do it again if that's what it took. So I guess that's a freeing thing as well by identifying what your minimum need is in terms of lifestyle and how you need to live and survive. Uh, and then, you know, being so far above that, uh, it's just gravy, dude. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't think it's good when people start to attach themselves to their, the more mentality. You know what I'm saying? I think it's always good to look at it and say, man, I'm really, really blessed, dude. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And that way, if something does happen and you got to detach from it, it's not as big of a deal. Right.

You know? Right. So, I don't know. That's how I live. I think that's beautiful, man. All right, cool. Two for two. Last question. How do you handle feeling alone when no one else around you seems to want more for their lives? Right. So like it's this guy, he feels like, you know, he's he has an overachiever mentality, but he doesn't really feel like he's surrounded by people that are with him or like minded. Right. And he feels alone. He says, you know, he's been feeling even a little disheartened. He just needs a little bit more direction. It's like, did you ever go through that?

Like, you know, in the 23 years of becoming successful, become getting to where you are now, where you felt like you were alone? Like, how did you handle it? Yeah, a few times. So you know that saying, it's lonely at the top? Yeah. People like to say that shit, especially when they're going through one of these times. But the truth is, is that it's lonely in the middle, not at the top.

And let me explain this. So in the beginning, you've got your friends, right? And your friends, because I don't know, you went to school together, you played on a team together, you know, whatever, who knows, whatever your little group of friends is. And, you know, as you get older, those people all choose different paths. And, you know, when you choose a path of high achievement and you're serious about it, that's going to be a path that probably none of your friends are going to really commit to. That's just the way it is by law of statistics. So what happens is

you move from this part, this little friend group out here, right? And there's nobody else out there and you're in the middle. Okay. I call that no man's land. Like that's, that's what I call that period of time. What happens is as you stay on this path, you will slowly begin to build relationships with new people and people who are ambitious, people who want more people who are driven. And what will happen is you will find yourself in a group of friends that support you and push you to be better and push you to be more. And that's a crucial place to be because you need that to really become successful. But here's what happens. Most people venture out of their group a little bit and they figure out

that like, hey man, I don't have anybody around and they fucking go back to the group. And this is why most people fail. Okay. So you have to understand that bridging the gap between your old friends and your new established group, uh, is going to take some time. Yeah. Okay. And you can accelerate that by joining groups that are, you know, networking groups,

things like that, or, you know, peer groups, you know, to meet people who are more aligned. Sure. You know what I'm saying?

Try not to plug my own shit. You know what I'm saying? Like I fucking hate being like that, but you know yeah i do have a group like that yeah um arte syndicate but now are you still friends with like do you still have those connections yeah i was gonna get to that i was gonna get to that so so and what you guys have to realize is these people that you that you chose a different path it's not that they aren't your friends. It's not that they don't like you. You know, they probably got jealous sometimes, but dude, we all get jealous of each other. You know what I'm saying? Like there's things that your friends now have that you get a little jealous about and you probably should check yourself on that and instead be happy. But we all, He's a nature of the human. So, you know, you can't be mad at someone

for a little bouts of that. You know, I'm jealous of some of my old friends, bro. They got big families and shit. You know what I'm saying? Like they've done, they've done life differently and I can see the value in the way they did it. And I don't judge them negatively because they chose a different path. Right. You know, and I think that's a way to really sort of, that's how I observe the whole process working. And then here's the third thing that can happen too. It's like when you get in this middle level, right, you keep going, the same thing will repeat itself again.

Okay. So you'll move, the same thing repeats itself over and over again, no matter how far you want to go until you go all the way to the top where you're sitting in rooms with dudes that are worth billions of dollars. Right. Okay. And I know this cause I do that. Yeah. All right. So it's just a matter of, and I think when you, when you, when you commit to that path, you just have to say it's my path and that's their path and that's okay. And that's how I look at it. You know, I love my old friends as much as I did back when I knew them. And some of them I haven't seen for 20 years, dude. You know what I'm saying? But like, I fucking hope they're doing great. And I think, you know, like, I don't know,

like, I think the problems that could become when that lonely feeling sets in is really a lot of like self, um, unawareness. You know what I'm saying? Like, like you're making up, cause like a lot of times, dude, what people do most of the time is they're not, it's not that they're really attacked or hated on. It's that they tell theirself a story in their head. All right. Like, I wonder what, you know, Tommy and, and Susie and, uh, Joey are saying about me. You know what I'm saying? I bet they're saying this and this and this. Yeah. And you start telling yourself this shit in your head and you start resenting them for something that you don't even know that they actually did. They probably didn't do. And so what it is, is you talking shit on yourself. Right.

You know what I'm saying? So, and this is why I tell people, you're always your own biggest hater. Yeah. You know, cause think about it, dude.

Like you're walking down the street, right? Like, I want you to really think about this. You're walking down the street and some dude you never seen before, ever. Like you've never seen him before, ever,

ever, ever. He looks at you says hey fuck you piece of shit okay and just keeps walking right and you what are you gonna do i'm gonna laugh my ass off i'm gonna be like damn dude i guess he's having a bad fucking day right but here's what happens these people who don't understand like they don't think like this they hear that one comment from the random dude on internet, you know, and they shut down and they go back to their little friend group that's safe.

And guys like, you know, it's, it's not something that can really hurt you. You just got to realize, like, think, I think of it like that. When somebody says some nasty shit to me and people say plenty of nasty shit. Uh,'m just like man dude must be having a bad day like i'll be like hey what's your name no shit dude it's weird on that yeah on that point math for me like it was weird because i had to look at it because i have some of those friends right they're like i left behind but i think i had to go to a point where i like i had to accept that did you leave them behind or they just not come with you? Well, yeah.

Maybe that's just where they want to be. Not everybody has the same goal. Hold on. Did you leave them behind or did they decide not to come with you? Right. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Think about that.

Yeah. Why is it your duty to drag anyone along with you? Yeah. That's real. In my opinion, it's their duty to keep up if that's what they want. Yeah. That's what I think. I've just accepted that.

That's just not what they want. Yeah, that's it. And that's cool. Is that three? That's yeah, that's three, man.

That's three and three. Knock them out the park. Three, three and fuck that guy. Man, I just want some common sense back in this place, dude. That's it.

I want some unity. I want some real love. I want some real sense back in this place, dude. That's it. I want some unity. I want some real love. I want some real fucking togetherness, not this bullshit. I'm tired of this identity shit. I'm tired of this fucking left, right race shit. I'm tired of fucking everything, dude. Divided we fall, man. Bro, there's a reason that that is like one of the most famous sayings ever.

And we have to get our shit together. Remember that, bro? We have to get our shit together remember that bro we have to get our shit together remember who the fuck we are you know what i'm saying like we've done some fucking amazing shit here in america yeah and we don't tolerate fucking little weasels like that fucking with our kids you know i'm saying we need to get tolerate those people have to be removed from the public service they can go do some other shit. I don't care. I'm not saying, you know,

I'm not calling for violence or anything like that. Yeah. But those fucking people don't belong in fucking teaching kids. They belong doing other shit. Yeah. Of which I don't know. But not that.

All right. So anyway, guys, I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. And I'll talk to you soon. Went from sleeping on the floor Now my jewelry box froze Fuck a pole, fuck a stove I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. And I'll talk to you soon.