REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 140. Q&AF: Imitation, Bitch Voice & The Bigger Picture

Episode Date: September 11, 2021

When you imitate someone, you are stifling your gifts. On today’s Q&AF episode, Andy talks why blindly imitating someone is a bad long-term strategy, how to control your bitch voice to build your discipline and how to cast the vision of your big dreams and aspirations onto friends, family and your team.

What's up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest thing about the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a Q and AF. This is where I answer your questions. Now, a lot of you guys, I just want to say this up front, this is sort of an ad, hashtag ad. All right. I want to say this up front. A lot of you guys like my personal development content. All right. I do almost all of my personal development, how to win, how to make money content in the RTA syndicate group. If you're interested in that content and you want more of that content, you should join that group or you should apply to join because that's where I do

most of the content. I just want to say that because people are like, when are you going to do more personal? Listen, dude, it's hard for me to talk about that shit when the world's fucking burning. Okay. So I'm going to talk about what I want to talk about. This is my fucking show. If you don't want to listen, you don't have to. Plenty of other shows. There's a whole bunch of them that will pander to your sensitive little feelings. Okay? I won't. Now, with that being said, the way this works is this. I get asked a question. DJ, are you paying attention? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how does this work? I'm sorry, I was sleeping over there. No, I was reading this one-star review. Oh, were you? Those are the fun ones. Yeah, yeah. I'm just like, holy fuck. All right, yeah. No, I asked three questions, guys. You guys email your questions in to ask andy at andyfusela.com um again we always thank you

guys for sending those in um and so i picked three of those and here we are yeah here we are what happened let's go let's get it let's get it yeah yeah dude I'm still tired from yesterday, bro. Yeah. Like that was a lot of like, we, we, yesterday we, uh, we had, uh, Brandon Tatum here. Officer Tatum. The Officer Tatum. Yeah. Uh, what an awesome dude, man. I was just about to say that, man. That dude's cool, man.

Super cool. We went to dinner last night. We had a good time. Yeah. Dude, um, it's fun getting these, these people in here to do this show. I'm starting to have fun with the show again, for real. For sure.

Yeah. For sure. Awesome people, man. And dude, it's super important that, you know, for us,

it's like, no, we're meeting these awesome people. Right. But like for you guys, it's super important to take that content in because in a world of all this negativity, it's nice to have some refreshing breath of life and perspectives.

It's just saying, I'm trying to show people that there's other people out there that think like them. You know, like I get so many people that write in bro. And they're like, man, you're the only one that thinks like me. No dude, I'm not. There's lots of people that think like you, but they're all sitting there thinking, damn, this Andy's the only one that thinks like me or whoever they're listening to. Right. Guys, democracy only works to the level that you participate in it, okay? So if you stay quiet and you don't let people know your views, of course you're going to feel alone, right?

So look, we're going to be okay. People are getting involved. It's going to take a long commitment. This isn't something that's going to take a month. But, you know, it is what it is. We're going to get back to focusing on our civic duties here in America, as well as winning, as well as because those are duties as well, right? Succeeding, building a life, becoming successful, becoming an example for your children, for your neighbors, for people that know you. You know, most people, the reason they struggle with building success here in America is because they don't know anybody who's successful because they don't seek those people out. And, you know, one of the most important things that you guys have to remember is you need to be surrounding yourself and working towards putting that sort of information in your

brain all the time. You're not alone in how you feel. You're not alone in what you want to accomplish. You're not alone in any of those things You're not alone in what you want to accomplish. You're not alone in any of those things. You guys and all of you out there are just a little bit timid and you're a little bit new and you're a little bit nervous about saying things. And guys, I was thinking about this this morning as I was getting ready to come up here. You know, we really Americans and I'm talking about the left and the right and all of America. We've been mentally abused by the media for a long time, like a long time. You know, if you think about the things that we used to be able to say here of America, we've been mentally abused by the media for a long time, like a long time. You know, if you think about the things that we used to be able to say here in America,

we used to be able to express opinions and say, Hey, this is how I feel. And you know, you could say how you feel. We're no longer able to do that anymore because this narrative has been pushed down the pipe. Uh, you know, that if you say anything that's even kind of out of line, you know, you're a racist, you're a bigot, you're a, you're a bad person, that if you say anything that's even kind of out of line, you know, you're a racist, you're a bigot, you're a, you're a bad person, shame on you, all these things. And what it's done is it's shut people completely down to where they feel like they're living in a jail already. Like guys, it's real simple to break out of that jail. You need to quit worrying about what people's reaction is going to be to the truth and just start speaking your truth and

let them handle it however they're going to handle it, right? That's going to make your life much better. It's going to make your life much easier to live. It's going to be less stressful, less confining, and less pressure. You know, just tell the truth. And if people don't like it, that's okay. So let's answer some all right let's go white lightning all right first question question number numero uno how do you handle imitation right like do you consider imitation like flattery or or people get nuked when they imitate you like how do you handle that well look man they say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. And there's a multitude of ways that I've thought about this over the years.

When I first started becoming successful and our businesses started to work, you know, well, before that, you know, everybody laughed at us, right? So like we started up on a business model that had never really been done before. Um, and people said it wouldn't work. And, you know, we got laughed at. And then as it started working, you know, I started seeing people copy it and all these things. And, um, you know, I guess for me, you know, I, I, I used to get pissed off about it where I was like, dude, fuck, you know, fuck that guy. He's trying to steal my this or that or this, this, this. And I spent a lot of time angry, dude,

because I'm looking at everybody stealing all my shit. And it was pretty blatant. You know what I mean? Then as I, and really what that was a result of was not realizing that I was a leader in that area. So like I was insecure in my position of what I was doing. So then I felt angry when I saw other people doing the same. And as I grew and matured and have become more experienced, I started to realize like it actually is a pretty big honor for someone to think that you're somebody worth emulating. Right. And so now I look at it and I do think like, OK, cool. I appreciate that. I really do, because it is an honor. But I also think it's really dumb. And the reason I think it's dumb is because strategically it's a dumb thing to do. Not specifically copying an idea or a direction that someone's trying to go, but trying to copy them exactly is a bad strategy because here's the thing, guys, and this is what you don't understand.

When you copy someone and what you see on the outside of their organization or the outside of their personal brand is the product of many, many months or even years of discussions, brainstorming, execution on the back end that you don't really understand. You just see the end result and you say, I want to do that. And the problem with that, which is good, right? If it's producing a good result, you could say, oh, okay, well, why wouldn't I want a good result, right? Makes perfect sense. But the problem with that is, is that while it might work for you in the short term, you're

always, you know, a year to two years behind those people when you're trying to compete in business because those ideas are already two years old, the result that you see. So my warning to people is, you know, don't copy people. Look at people for influence and then try to create the best version of you and your plan based around that. That's how I try to see it. You know what I mean? We all have unique gifts. We all have things about us that are, you know, positive, attractive, dynamic. We all have those certain things. And what happens is, is people get caught up in trying to copy this one concept or this one person.

And what happens is that, you know, they lose the ability to actually let their gifts sprout. So they never really become great. They just become a cheaper version of someone else. And you see that all the time. And, you know, it's a hard thing and I get it, right? Because when you're in, cause I've been that person, right? I've been the person who looked at other people and tried to copy them. Exactly. This is back when I was, you know, 20 to 25 years old and it never worked. And nothing ever really worked until I just started doing what I thought was right, using those things as sort of a guide of where I wanted to be,

right? So for example, like if I saw someone in business that had what I wanted, I would look at them and I would say, okay, I'm not going to, you know, wear his clothes or talk like him or this or that. But I am going to look at how they did that and I'm going to sort of craft my own version of how to get there. So that way I'm operating on an original plan that insulates me from somebody else being able to steal it. Does that make sense? That makes perfect sense. Dude, I also think of it like too, can they really copy you? You know what I'm saying? Like, you have to-

Well, that's the thing. You can't imitate what you can't do. Exactly. So, so like you, you know, there's a skill aspect to that. Certain people have more skills than other people. Those people that you're trying to copy and you're trying to execute that play that they're running that are 10, 15 years down the road from you. They have the skills to actually execute that plan where you do not. Right. And so you can't, you can't imitate to the point where it takes

away from your gifts. You have to let people inspire you so that then you can cultivate your gifts. And that's how you're going to be able to become the best version of who you are so I hope that explains it you know I used to get angry um I do get honored sometimes when I see people do it but I also want to put my arm around those people and say listen bro that ain't the way you know what I'm saying and even though they're copying me like I could be like oh yeah dude that's cool but no dude like you you DJ has things about you that are better than things about me. We have different things that we're better at and you would stifle those by trying to use my gifts. You see what I'm saying? Same thing with business. It's the same thing. You, you, you just have to let people inspire you and then develop sort of, um, your own path to get there that makes sense perfect sense perfect

awesome one for one all right number two so for you going you've been through the live hard program multiple times right like like it is a way of life i see it every fucking day yeah right when was the last time that you heard the bitch oh like has, has it been completely silenced for you at this point? No, but, but I, but no, absolutely not. I hear it every day. I mean, dude, every day I do cardio every day. I get three quarters of the way there and I'm like, all right. And then I get five minutes away and I'm like, all right, I'm good enough. And like, that's the voice in my head. And I have to, I have to consciously stop that voice from allowing me to take that action. So it's not that it goes away. It's that you become so aware of it that you're easily able to squash

it when it happens. So that's what you're looking for. If you're, if you're looking to completely eliminate it, you might go through periods of time where you don't really have any thoughts and everything's sort of clicking automatic, but that's not the time of value. The time of value is the time that you have to fight. Time of value is the time that you have to argue inside your head. And then you come out as a victor in that argument. That's the valuable times that you need to recognize because when you have those little victories, you are creating more deposits into your confidence, into your self-esteem, into your self-belief, into your fortitude, into your grit, into all

these things that we're working to build. You're making deposits when you have to fight. When it's automatic, you're not really improving. Now it's a good place to be, right? Because it produces a good result, but it's not really improving your skillset. So my advice would be for them to realize it never goes away. And then to value that it never goes away because it keeps you honest, keeps you moving. It keeps you, it keeps you developing. It keeps you getting better.

I don't think it's, it's just a huge misconception that people have like, like, Oh, you don't have to struggle with that no more. Like, Oh yeah, no dude.

They've reached the highest level. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, dude. You've reached the highest level. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and people look at people like Goggins or James Lawrence or other people and they say. Chad Wright. Yeah. And they say, oh, those guys never want to quit. No, that's not true.

They do want to quit. They just know how to not quit. That's real. You know what I mean? So and that's the value of this whole program. The whole program is not to make you, not to eliminate the, because dude, like how boring would your life be if that shit was just easy for you to do?

You know what I'm saying? You're not learning, you're not progressing, you're not getting better, you're not developing skills. It's just what you do. So like I'm, for a long time, I cursed the Lord, you know, for having the fat guy genes. But like the truth is I'm for a long time, I curse the Lord, you know, for having the fat guy jeans.

But like the truth is, I'm super grateful that I have those because it's forced me to have to learn that, which has been infinitely valuable in all areas of my life. Yeah. Two for two, baby. I'm shooting fucking shooting shots over here. All right. Last question, Andy. So, you know, over the course of 23 years, right. You've been building this fucking empire, right. That's what I would call it. How did, like, how exactly do you cast your visions onto the team? Or if you're not, you know,

like, you know, if you're not a business person, how do you cast visions on your family or your employees? Like, how do you get your vision, what you saw in your head, you know, 23 years ago, how do you get it out? Like, how did you manifest that into the people around you? Well, the thing about, first of all, it's real simple. You just tell them what you're going to do. This is what I'm going to do. This is what we're going to do. I need your help. And this is how it's going to benefit you and where you're going to fit in. The problem with The problem with casting a vision that most people have is that they haven't developed the vision, right? Like a lot of people, and there's two problems that most people have when they're trying to paint a big picture. One, they haven't actually thought it through themselves or two,

they don't intend to actually complete it, right? Both are bad because one, if you haven't thought it out, you can't get where you want to go. It's impossible. I just had an Enneagram on this a couple of days ago. You cannot get where you don't know you're going. You see what I'm saying? How the fuck can you get there? So you certainly can't get your team to get on board if you haven't done an in-depth thought of where I'm going to be three, five, 10, 15, 20 years from now and how these people are going to be involved and what it's going to mean to them and what it's going to mean to their families and what it's going to mean to their lifestyle. If you haven't thought that through, you have no chance of getting anybody on board. Right. But the other problem is you have a lot of CEOs and a lot of business owners that want to

pretend like they're going to do all these things with the intention of getting their employees to work really hard. And then they just basically don't intend to build the company that way. And those people will cycle through employees over and over and over again. They'll have a high turnover rate. People will hate them because you are stealing their life. You see what I'm saying? And so you as an employer, you know, these little businesses that say this shit like, oh, well, you know, we're happy where we're at. Bro, you're going to get your fucking ass beat. You know, because there's companies that are doing what you do that are not happy where they're at. Okay.

And those companies that are intending to grow, they're going to attract your best people. They're going to bring the best people who have the want and the drive and the will to succeed and do bigger things. Those people are going to find those people and they're going to meet up. And guess what? They're going to beat you. So you have to be genuine and you have to follow through. A lot of people try to create buy-in with their team inside of a vision with no intent. And like, dude, I'm sorry, but everybody knows when they're getting lied to. Everybody knows when they're getting told a bunch of shit. And you, as the owner of your business, are not exceptionally more intelligent than the people that work for you. You just happen to be in a different role than them. Right. So, and that's another thing I could go into. Like a lot of people think because they

own a business, they're smarter than all their employees. Well, if you own a business and you're smarter than all your employees, you're a dumbass. Because I'm going to tell you this, everybody I have in here is smarter than me in a lot of ways. You know, I told you guys last night at dinner, I said, hey, I got one job here. My job is very simple. My job is to evaluate the ideas and the thoughts of very smart people and then to pick the one that I think is best. That's it, right? My job is not to come up with a plan.

Now, sometimes do I sure, but I don't, I build a team that I'm intentionally the dumbest person on. See what I'm saying? And so like when you cast a vision, you've got to take all these things into account. Biggest part of vision casting is let's just wipe all that shit. I just set off the table and you're in, you, you intend to build a fucking empire, okay? And you're doing it with the right will and you're doing it with the right heart and you really truly intend on doing it. Dude, the biggest thing you can do is to sit down with your team and say, God, and be real. Guys, look, this is what the fuck we're going to do. Now, I don't know exactly how we're going to do it. I don't know. I have a good idea. I think we're going to do it like this, like this, like

this. But dude, this is what we're doing, Okay. And I'm going to spend my whole fucking life doing it. I'm not interested in selling out. I'm not interested in, in exiting. I'm not interested in this. I'm interested in creating this. And this is what your role is. And this is how it's going to affect you. And we're going to have this and we're going to, dude, I stood in front of, I stood in front of, I stood in front of, and by the way, the best vision cast you could ever have is the one that comes true, right? Okay. So let me tell you something. I've never cast a vision in this company ever that hasn't happened ever. And if you ask anybody who's been here since day one, which there's, there's a few,

that day one was six years in, But if you go ask the Jasons or the Codys or the Tylers and the Mike Taylors, if you go ask them if I ever said anything that never happened, they will tell you absolutely not. Now, it might take a little bit longer, but what I say happens. And so now that trust that we have here is compounded because those guys have all seen it for the last 16 years with me. And now they're able to spread that to a little bit of them. So you have to follow through on your promises. And the biggest thing, you know, I sat in front of my team in 2010 in one of my retail stores and I said, hey,

one day we're going to have this amazing headquarters. We're going to have a gym. We're going to have a turf field. We're going to have locker rooms. We're going to have showers. We're going to have this amazing building that people come from, from all over the world. And they're going to see it and they're going to want to be a part of this. And they're going to come here and they're going to feel the experience and we're going to sit with them and we're going to, we're going to help them develop their businesses and

we're going to help them grow their brands. And we're going to do all, I said that in 2010, bro. And if you go ask any of them, they will tell you, I said exactly. Now, what do we do? Yeah. That's what the fuck we do now. Right. So my point, and by the way, there's three guys out of maybe 16 that were there at that time that are still here. So you could be the best vision caster in the world. And the one that you could paint the biggest vision you could possibly think of. That was the biggest vision I could think of at that time. Okay. And you're still not going to have everybody believe. And that's just part of the deal. That doesn't mean you can't do it. That means you got to keep going with the people that you got. Some people will fall off and other people will step in. And you know,

here's another thing. Those people that fall off, you should be thankful for them too, because they, they helped you get where you are, even if they didn't stay the whole time. You know, a number of the guys that used to work for me, I'm still really good friends with. Now I'm investing in their businesses that they run. You see what I'm saying? Because they put in time for me. Now I'm looking to help them back. And so you have to value these people. And I think, you know, understanding that they have lives and they have careers and they have dreams and you trying to accommodate those lives, careers and dreams inside your vision is the best way to get people on board. But dude, it all comes down

to you have to mean what you say. You have to intend to do it and it has to be genuine and you have to know in as much detail as possible what you're going to actually do. Because the biggest reason is still the first reason I said that people struggle with this. They just don't think it through. You can't get where you don't know you're going. So that's that. That's awesome. That's three for three right there, baby. Yeah, I know. I thought when you were talking about, you know, some people falling off of that team, I also thought like a thought came up, man, like how many of those people too would have slowed down the process of you getting to where you're at right now?

Well, yeah, but dude, like, you know, and that's the nature of business. Some people, it's not for them. That's okay. You know, a lot of people, like, dude, when you're in the beginning, like if you're in a beginning entrepreneur and you, let's just say you've got five or six

or 10 people, right, and you're trying to cast this big vision, dude, it's demoralizing. Like, I understand what that's like. Like you're, you try to get these guys on board. They don't really believe you. You're fucking reading everything, doing everything, putting it all the time. You fully intend to do it. And they still don't believe you. It's very frustrating. But the point is, is that you'll get the last laugh by just staying on the path. Keep pushing, keep driving, keep working,

keep trying to help people, keep trying to develop people, keep your word to your people. Those things are all going to work themselves out. You know, the real problem here is that entrepreneurs want the end result in five minutes. And this shit just takes time, dude. So be patient, understand that people are going to come and go, understand that you're going to, the longer you're at it, the better your core is going to become. And, you know, there's no, there's no limits to what we can do here in business guys. It's the biggest opportunity, especially right now. You know, we just came through, we're working through and still in this shit show in the world. However, you know, a lot of businesses and, you know, this sucks,

but it's the truth. A lot of businesses are falling off. A lot of businesses are closing up. A lot of businesses are pulling back. Even the ones who are good are pulling back their offense and playing defense. And that creates a tremendous opportunity for entrepreneurs that have the grit and have the will and the fight in them to stick it through and to keep growing. Because at the end of this, this is how it always works. When these world crises or economic crises happen, there ends up being a shit ton of opportunity. You know, the only reason that we're sitting here in this building right now is because in 2007, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, we went on full offense when everybody else fucking pulled their shit in.

So, you know, we were able to gain 10 years of ground in five years at that time. And that's the same thing we're doing now. You know, right now we built this building. We hired almost 200 people in 2020. We have two more buildings we're building next door that are exact same size as this. Okay. Like, dude, we're on offense, bro. Like we're here to fucking gain as much as we can. I'm going to employ another 200 people in the next 12 months. And you know, it is what it is. That's the way business works. And you guys who are small, you know, you have to gut through this and you're going to get a proportional response to what I'm getting. If you got through it, you're going to see a whole bunch of market open up for you. You're going to be able to grab it. You're going to be able to move. And for the next 10 or 12 years, that's going to get you through until the next crisis.

And in the next crisis, you'll be where I'm at, where you have a ton of resources. You have a ton of connections. You have a ton of, you know, ability to take advantage of these situations. Every super successful person I know right now is on 1000% offense. They are gobbling it up. And the people who aren't, they're going to get gobbled up. It's just reality. So, you know, I'm excited about the business landscape, even though with all the shit going on and like this crazy, you know, like they put this automatic mandate through for a hundred and... No. You no. If you don't want to, I'm not doing that shit. So if you don't want to do that shit, come work for me. If you're a killer, come work for me. I won't force shit on you and we're going to win. So, um, so yeah, that's it. So dude,

if you guys want that personal development content more regular, dude, you should apply to ROT. That's where we do it. And I do it with Ed Milet, who's one of the best in the world at this. So anyhow, what else? That's it, baby. That's it. All right, guys, I appreciate all the love. I appreciate all the shares. I appreciate all the love and shares on the American podcast as well, because dude, it's something that I truly passionate about. I truly care about. And we all have to realize that without Fertile Soil here in America, we don't have a chance to win. Right. So I appreciate you guys who are here for the entrepreneurship, but are also taking an interest in the societal views

that we have here. So I just wanted to give you guys a shout out for that. The show made you think, if it taught you something new, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective, please share the show. You don't like to run ads. I don't run ads for the show. It's all on word of mouth. We call it paying the fee. So if you like the show, if you got some value out of it, pay the fee. Love you guys. I'll talk to you next time.