REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 155. Q&AF: How To Silence "Haters," Separating Business And Personal & Hiring People With Shady Past

Episode Date: October 22, 2021

When you're doing big shit, they're supposed to hate. On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how you can silence the people that don't believe in your vision, how to keep business and personal life separated and how to make a judgment call on hiring someone with a shady past.

What's up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have QNAF, okay? We're going to get down to that real quick before I get into it. I'd like to remind you of the fee. The fee is very simple. If we make you think, if we taught you something, if we make you laugh, if we help you figure something out, we give you a new perspective. If you thought the content was valuable, we ask that you share it. Okay. We don't run ads on the show. This isn't a show where you're going to hear 30 minutes of ads for 60 minutes of total

content. Like I could do that and we could make a whole bunch of money, but it's annoying and I don't like it. And I don't like when people do it to me. So I don't do it to you. And so what I ask in return is that you guys help us grow the show. Uh, and that's going to become more and more important because, um, social media is becoming more and more restrictive. So I'm really going to rely on you guys to spread the show around. We're going to be going to a daily show soon,

which is great news. Uh, but I need you guys to spread that around, right? A lot of times people think that everybody else is doing it, and that means not that many people end up doing it. It's always the same few people that share this shit every time. And you know who you are, and I appreciate you guys. But if you could help us out with that, it would be a much appreciated gesture. So, DJ.

White Lightning. White Lightning. What's happening, bro? Hey, man. Day 28. Yeah yeah you're killing it dude you're moving man you are fucking killing it bro hey i'm doing something yeah it's noticeable like i mean i everybody in the office is talking about it too i know shit yeah so you're getting you're getting uh you're pulling down that siz yeah i'm trying bro what's your weight at right now i'm at 291 today that's and you were what almost 360 when we met 350 350 yeah so i mean that's fucking awesome man but i'm honestly i'm not even worried about the scale right now i'm just fucking working and just keeping it moving yeah bro that's it dude just stay focused keep moving keep moving forward and

uh you know it's one day at a time it is man because we get so caught up on these daily changes right like expecting them yeah i'm not looking for the daily i'm looking for the long-term shit yeah i'm like well see me after 75 days we'll talk yeah bro and and the cool thing is is whenever you've bought in that you're gonna do something for x amount of time no matter what it makes it that much easier to follow yep you know you're not sitting there watching the pot uh you know waiting for the water to boil you know what i'm'm saying? You know, like, hey, all right, I'm just going to do today. Then I'm going to, you know, worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

And that's how success is. You know, a lot of people, they do 75 hard and they get a lot out of it, but sometimes they miss the point. Like, the whole point is, guys, this is how you fucking build financial fortunes. This is how you build anything of extremees this is how you build uh anything of extreme value in life it's always done one day at a time so um you know that's how i live dude you know i'm saying i don't ever worry about tomorrow i worry about today that's it yeah so it's cool to see you uh getting after it man you know i just started myself yeah i'm on uh day three day three now yeah and you know the reason i started on over is because dude like this shit is so crazy in the world man like it's got me so

distracted almost every day that i'm not like executing the way that i know i should be yeah and i'm just being honest you know nobody's immune to that right like nobody's immune to that. Right. Like nobody's immune to chaos or distractions or, uh, you know, bullshit, you know? And so I just wanted to keep my word to myself and everybody else and make sure that I'm getting as much out of the time that, that this crazy shit's going on,

uh, that I can't possibly get it. And, and I could tell after only two full days that my mindset's already back in focus where it needs to be so it's um it's exciting it's awesome man yeah i mean i'm i'm just keeping it moving man but we got q and a f guys so we got three questions for you um you guys know how this works as always email your questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com and uh with that being said question

one yeah let's go how do you silence the naysayers right so family friends anyone for that matter right they feed you this bullshit and they make you second guess your goals and aspirations how do you silence those people i was taking a drink of my pre-workout yeah all right uh my first form pre-workout megawatt and l carnitine buy it now shameless plug yeah all right so uh it, it actually is what I'm drinking. This is pretty good. Yeah. You know the cool thing about those?

Any of those flavors, you can mix and match, and they taste good together. It's fucking weird. I'll just dry scoop mine. Yeah. No, dude. You got to mix the carnitine and the Mega Watt together. Any flavors, they all go together. It's fucking crazy.

Anyway. How do you like that plug bitches so anyway how do you silence the naysayers i give you one word by winning that's two words it's two words yeah all right by winning yeah you know what i'm saying like dude so many people feel that you these people owe you their belief. You haven't done anything yet. Like we just have to have a realistic view of our own self. If you're the person who's told somebody that you're going to lose weight for the last 15 years and you never lost it, they have plenty of evidence to not believe you this time right you know if you've been talking about building a business for the last 10 years and you haven't done anything then you have given people plenty of evidence to not believe you so people don't believe in you until after you've done shit

right like if i walk in the office right now and i say hey i'm going to the fucking moon there's going to be some motherfuckers that say how are you gonna do that but everybody in there is probably gonna be like okay i guess we're going to fucking move right so like because there's evidence that's correct there's evidence that i follow through on everything i said no matter how crazy it fucking sounds at the time yeah and um you that's the first thing okay the second thing is it goes back to what we were talking about in the intro dude you you have to fucking you have to fucking you have to put that shit out you you could do one of two things right you could either be the person who

just ignores that shit and just chips away day by day by day by day um and what will happen is those people eventually when you start to win they'll start to come around and they'll start to say things like hey man i see you're doing really good. You know, or they'll, you know, maybe some people who really don't think you'll do it. They won't say anything to approve you of you until you've already, you know, built your entire fucking empire. And then they're going to say, Oh man, I always believed in you. I knew you were doing it. Right. So that's what you're dealing with. Okay. And you have to understand like those people's opinions literally mean nothing. So the bigger question here is what's wrong with you that you actually give a fuck that those people say those things, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. So that's the question that I would ask. Why are, why do you value people's opinions or criticism that haven't done anything themselves? Right. We have to focus on the good criticism the things that help us improve the things that help us get better the the statements that we can examine ourselves and say okay i could get better on that i can do better here i can do better there that's good criticism but just hater bullshit you're always gonna have it dude like it's never gonna go away um young dolph's got a fucking song on it right

now you know that he's got out what's it called yeah it's a good fucking song dude when you do when you they're supposed to hate i forgot what the fuck he says but anyway uh the point is is that it's a universal concept like people are gonna fucking hate on you and that's just what it is so even when you're winning oh yeah especially when you're winning bro especially when you're winning it only gets worse but the funny thing is. Even when you're winning. Oh, yeah. Especially when you're winning, bro. Especially when you're winning. It only gets worse. But the funny thing is that when you're winning and you know everything's good, it affects... What's it called?

Rain, rain. Is that what it is? Rain, rain, go away. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. That ain't it, is it? That's it. What's the lyrics?

Hold on. It's raining. No, that ain't the one. I promise you. It's when you do big shit. When you're doing big shit they supposed to hate okay that's the song that's the song all right all right you're right i love how bad i'm wrong i love how neither one of you asked the black guy in the room because i definitely

did not know we're blacker than you what are you talking about you're over there listening to kenny g yeah i have no fucking idea but you guys you guys are definitely more hip than me so that's a good song by the way yeah you were you had it on the other day when it came in here. Yeah. Anyway, the point is, uh, you guys got to understand that you haven't, the truth of the matter is you haven't done anything to earn people's belief. Okay. And so you have to, like everybody else in the world and history of the world, they're

not just gonna believe in you because you're fucking breathing the air and you say, I want to do this. All right. just gonna believe in you because you're fucking breathing the air and you say i want to do this all right so silencing silencing these people really comes down to just doing what you say you're gonna do right and when i said a minute ago i said there's two ways to approach this right you can ignore it or you could do what i do which is i absorb all of it i'm like oh what'd you say motherfucker okay and i keep a mental note and i'll remember 10 years from now what so and so said like i can remember literally every single fucking bullshit critique that i've gotten from a friend or a family member people that matter to me yeah okay and they they all think i forgot about this shit

now right like they all think like now i'm just like oh he must have forgot because he's doing well no motherfucker i still get it that's why i give you a weird ass look whenever you fucking talk to me you know i'm saying awkward as yeah bro i make it awkward as fuck remember when that motherfucker came in our locker room that one day that sal used to work for yeah what happened yeah he got the uh uh you were giving the what do you guys call it call it like the old fuck tour or the yeah i told you so tour basically i mean so sal had this boss that came in here all right good guy oh you called him out immediately i remember this now yeah good guy but he told sal when sal was gonna fucking leave johnson and johnson which he was the number one sales rep in the world yeah to come work for me that he was

fucking stupid yeah so sal's giving him a tour of the fucking hq yeah and i'm sitting in my recliner doing whatever the fuck i want because that's what i can do now right and here in comes sal with this fucking dude he's like oh you remember john and i'm like sure do yeah i said hey john remember when you told sal and i take this fucking job was that not the first thing i fucking said there's a first fucking thing i said to him i feel like that handshake went right to a fucking spaghetti noodle immediately you know what did he did he fucking did he get uncomfortable no he definitely did yeah definitely and then i made it cool and then i was like no bro i'm just playing you know i wouldn't have believed in it either yeah but the point is he knows that i know and he knows i never forgot about it right you know what i'm saying and i've used that as motivation for the last

fucking decade to get where we are and that's not a knock on him bro no like that's i'm just using that as an example like i remember when people do that i have the memory of a fucking elephant bro like i remember that shit and and i use it to drive me and i use production pivots right like when i get angry when people don't believe in me uh and i start thinking negative thoughts i start thinking like fuck dude this person because dude we still all think that shit. Right. Um, then I get up and go do something productive and it's that simple. So, uh, so yeah, man, like toughen the fuck up. Like this is something that you're all going to deal with. Uh, you're going to deal with it

forever. And the sooner you can come to peace with the idea that people are going to criticize you negatively for doing anything outside the norm of society, um, you know, the quicker you can get where you want to go, because a lot of people hold themselves up because they're afraid of what so-and-so is going to say or what so-and-so is going to say. And the truth is those people, first of all, they don't really matter. Second of all, when it comes to terms of you achieving things. But second of all, most of the time, they don't even say the shit that you imagine. Most of the time, you're making up these stories in your head. I wonder what, you know, so-and-so is going to say about me doing this.

I wonder what my Aunt Susie is going to say. Fuck Aunt Susie. You know what I'm saying? Like, it doesn't matter what she says. And you have to realize that you're making that story up and she probably doesn't even think that shit. Right. So your biggest hater is some, something, a story that you're making up in your own

motherfucking head. So think about that. That's fucking. Yeah, it's true, dude. It's true. Most people don't hate on you. That's just the truth. That's our own egos telling us, oh man, I bet everybody hates on me.

That's our, that's our own self-talk, you know? Damn. So it's fucking dope truth that's our own egos telling us oh man i bet everybody hates on me that's our that's our own self-talk you know damn so it's fucking dope yeah bro like it's it's normal shit all right question number two so how do you keep business business and personal personal right so like having somebody that may not directly work for you um and you can't stand them for whatever reason it is but you still have to work with them for business. How do you keep that business business and personal personal? Well, what's the objective? What's the objective?

To win, I'm assuming. Okay. Well, then you got to work with what you got. Yeah. You know, I personally don't really care how much I like someone sitting across the table from me if they can execute on part of the mission or whatever the plan is.

Like if I, if I think they're annoying or if they're, you know, like, dude, honestly, my ability to like someone has to do with, can they get shit done? Like when shit, when people get shit done, I can deal with their quirks or their little difference in personality. I can learn to appreciate them. There's plenty of people in our office that are, that would normally like be abrasive to me. Okay. But I love them because they fucking kick ass. Right. Right. And so then we're able to connect and I'm starting, I'm able to understand like that's their process of winning. I've got my own process of winning and I can

appreciate and sometimes even learn from the way they do things, even though it's not the way I do things. So, uh, first of all, you have to consider like, what's the mission. The mission is to win. We're here to fucking win. We're here to kick ass. We're here to do good. And personal feelings shouldn't really, uh, get involved in those decisions or the actions that result from the decisions. Um, I think that's weak shit. I think if you can't work with people that you don't like, you're not going to be very successful. Now, with that being said, I think that you should work to like those people and respect, because all real love and real

like is based out of respect, right? So if I got somebody who doesn't rub me the right way, like, you know, let's just say, you know, usually the people who rub me the wrong, the right way, like, um, you know, let's just say, uh, you know, usually the people who rub me the wrong way are just like me, by the way. No, for real, dude. They're, they're, they're a little cocky. Yeah. They're a little fucking overly confident.

Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Right. And I'm like, no, fuck that guy. And then I think about, I'm like, wait, he's kind of like me, you know what I'm saying? So like, those are the people that kind of rub me the wrong way. But when I see them go out, when I'm like, okay, this guy's got it or this girl's got it. You know what I'm saying? So like, those are the people that kind of rub me the wrong way. But when I see them go out, when I'm like, okay, this guy's got it or this girl's got

it. You know what I'm saying? And I restart to respect it. And then I can respect their little swag. They got, you know what I mean? Cause it's just how they do. Yeah. Right.

So like, dude, you know, this shit of like, you know, I don't like this person. Cause they got this, they say this or that, or that like, dude, what your priorities are fucked up. That's what i'm saying like if you want to win in the big game of winning you have to put those things aside yeah it's not going to always be like it's it's it's going to be did we get the job done so that that would be my advice nope all right question number three hiring people with a bad past okay so i know you can speak personally on this obviously but you know we're talking people with felony records people currently i mean there's gonna be a lot of people getting dishonorably discharged from military anti-vax stance and stuff right so

how do you weigh out whether or not a person is is genuinely truly changed right like you're taking that risk so how first of all bro i into consideration, not everybody that's like has a felony did bad shit in my opinion, right? Like we have a couple guys, a handful of people here who have been in prison before. Okay. Uh, they're in prison. Most of them are in prison for marijuana. Guess what? I don't think people should go to prison for marijuana. I think it's bullshit that people go to prison for marijuana. I think it's bullshit that you can walk into a fucking liquor store and buy enough liquor to kill yourself but you can't you have to go into a weed store you could smoke the whole motherfucking store and not die but you can only get so much like so we have to i ask myself like what morally

did they do right and then uh you know if they did their time if they paid their punishment i'm who am i to fucking hold that against them so i'm a big believer in fresh starts man like i'm a big believer in like dude if someone paid their paid their dues then we should give them a an equal chance as everybody else that's my opinion i think the world would work a lot better if we all had that opinion now if you have you have people that, you know, if you have a dude who went to jail because he raped three people and he happens to be out, I think it's probably a good idea to maybe look into that guy. You know what I'm saying? Like, if it's a super violent crime or something crazy, like, I think it's a good idea to look into those things. So, I'm a big believer in, in fresh starts. I'm

a big believer in, uh, people making mistakes and learning from them and growing. And if I didn't give those people an opportunity to have a start, I'd be a hypocrite in my beliefs. Yeah. And one thing I don't like to be as a hypocrite, you know, now sometimes, you know, I, I, I speak a little faster than I think, and I can, you know, but I try to catch myself because I know that's not a quality. It's not a quality that I value at all. Um, I despise it. So, you know, I try to live in congruency with that, with that thought process. And I think that it's important that we give people second chances when they've paid their dues to society. Um, as far as these military guys getting dishonorably discharged again, it's another

example that I don't agree with. Like, I don't think it's dishonorable for someone to stand up for what the fuck they believe. I think what's dishonorable is that they're getting fucking discharged. The military is dishonorable in that situation. So I don't subscribe to society's rules, so to speak. You know what I mean? I try to judge on my own moral compass and give consideration on those things and then

give people opportunities. I would say this. If you own a company right now, there's never, ever been a better opportunity to hire and add to your team of quality, integrity-driven individuals. If people are willing to lose their fucking jobs over their integrity they're probably going to do a pretty good job for you as long as they culturally align with your values yeah you know what i'm saying so like you know if i own a company which you know i do uh i'm going to be looking to bring some of these people in in fact

we have brought a number of these people in already. So that's how I feel about that. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking dope, man. Is that two or three? That's all three. Oh, it was?

All right. Well, that's how you're going to outro it? Like that's all you got, bro? I couldn't say the tagline, man. So I'm like. You got to come up with a new tag. Bro, you can't say the same shit every time. Like if you say it's one for one two for two three for three for the next 10 years that's you're not growing as a as a commentator so i'm trying to push you to grow i got so let's let's

let's do this live on the show okay let's come up with something how do we transition here fuck yeah don't edit none of this out either yeah leave this in because this is coaching i i'm taking i'm taking the criticism all right i know um see this is the criticism you want no no for sure yeah oh bro listen i know no criticism that ever came from all right let's do transition now yeah all right that's fucking fire there's three questions man all right all right man well hey look guys that's the show. I appreciate you guys. I love you guys.

Don't forget to pay the fee. And, you know, as I said in the beginning of the show, that's going to be more and more important as the Instagram and Facebook and social media overlords tighten their noose around our free thinking necks. You know, so please share. All right. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. And I'll talk to you next time.