REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 17. The Panic Pandemic: Are You Infected With These 5 Fears?

Episode Date: April 3, 2020

It seems everybody these days is infected by fear. The truth is, most people are afraid of the wrong things. In this episode, I share 5 things you absolutely should be afraid of; when you are, fear becomes a motivation—not just to make it through this pandemic, but to succeed in all of life!

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys? Andy Purcelli here, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, listen up. I'm just gonna say it. Everybody, listen up. I'm just going to say it.

Everybody's thinking it. I'm sick of the coronavirus. Not saying I'm sick. Actually, I'm sick of it. I'm not ignorant. I understand the gravity of what's going on. But in light of everything that's going on right now, I thought this would be a good opportunity to talk about something that we all have in common right now, I thought this would be a good opportunity to talk about something that we

all have in common right now, whether you want to admit it or not. And that's fear. And we're all fearful because we are uncertain. My opinion, there's been a very poor job of delivering the actual facts to us in this crisis situation right now. And I've really struggled to find what it is I want to talk about with you guys, because dude, the truth is with this level of anxiety and fear, man, talking about how to kick ass in business and, you know, do all these things, uh, kind of seems like it's not that important. Right. But I started thinking about it and I was thinking about it

last night and I've been thinking about it the last couple weeks I've been talking to my guys here my guys here in the room with me Madat and Joe who helped put on the show and they're good buddies of mine and other good buddies and and my wife and my friends I've been talking about you know man I just haven't been that motivated to talk about these lessons that I normally talk about because there's so much going on. And then what I figured out was, damn, dude, like this is actually the time people need these messages. And so my promise to you guys is it took me a few weeks to let this sink in, really kind of question what I was doing with

my own content. But I want you to know, I'm going to continue making content the exact same way that I've been making it because I think we need it. I think we need to stay focused on the positive, focused on what we can gain, focused on how we can improve. And really, this is no different than what I've been telling you guys for the last five or six years on podcasting and then you know for the last decade on the internet is that look hard things are going to come up bad things are going to happen and you have to be the kind of person that learns how to not only push through but also how to come out the other side better. And that's what we're going to, that's the tone I feel like taking here. And I think that's, um, that's what I'm

going to continue doing. You know, I'm not immune to fear guys. You know, it's scary. It's scary. What's going on. I feel so, um, emotionally upset about what's going on, not just with the people dying, but with the businesses that are dying and with the people who are struggling. And, you know, I think about, um, some of my friends, I was talking to one of my friends online the other night and they work in Vegas and they work, her whole family works on strip, and they don't have jobs right now, and they don't have pay, and the pay they do get isn't covering what they could have made in tips. And their whole family is like that, the dad, the mom, the brother, the sister. And this person, and it breaks my heart, man.

It tears my heart apart to hear about people like this and and these people who have worked decades and decades and decades to build companies that are just now like fucking gone and um i i'm i'm being honest with you guys you know that emotionally upsets me you know my companies are doing very well we're in the space. I'm not going to say we're crushing it, but all things considered, I'm very appreciative of where we are in life and business. And it's just a hard situation and we're all scared. And really that brings me to what I want to talk about today, which is fear. Okay.

We're all nervous right now. We're all filled with anxiety. But the thing you have to remember is the only way to get the fear out and to get the anxiety out is to take productive action. And so that's what I want to get into today. You know, in my opinion, too many people out there really fear the wrong things, and they base all their actions off of this inconceivable worst-case scenario fear. They're worried about what other people think. They're worried about what kind of mood their boss is going to be in today. They make a mistake in front of someone else, and they're worried they're going to get laughed at.

They're afraid of failing, so they don't want to take any risks. they're in front of you at Costco right now. We see these people everywhere. They're right. They're buying 277 rolls of fucking toilet paper, not realizing they could have avoided the whole thing by staying home and just not being selfish. Okay. Back in the great depression guys, FDR said this, he said, we had nothing to fear but fear itself. I'm sure you've heard that quote before. I call bullshit. I absolutely think there are things that you should fear and you should fear them very strongly, okay? Fear is also a motivator and if you use it right, it can be the most powerful driver of your success. Fear forces us to realize and become aware of our surroundings and then take action on them. You just have to make sure that you're afraid of the right things and not some unfounded, scary, insignificant thing like taking your shirt off at the pool.

OK, this is what most people fear. So what I want to do is I want to go through the five things that I think you should absolutely be afraid of, even during this crisis that we're going through right now. Okay. So the first thing I want to talk about is mediocrity. All right. Being stuck in the hamster wheel of life is absolutely the worst thing that you can do to impede your success. Laziness kills the soul and it also crushes creativity. You have to realize when you've come to that point and that point is that moment you find yourself thinking that you've made it. It's that moment you say to yourself, I've got it made. I could sit back and relax and just enjoy the ride. Well, I think we've all figured out in the

last couple of weeks that that really is never the case. And I've been telling you that for a number of years. Henry Ford said this himself. Mediocrity is the worst enemy of prosperity. And did we not live in a world that embraced mediocrity just three weeks ago? He was right. And it isn't even that hard of a concept to grasp. When you've decided to fit in with the crowd, to set easy goals and chill once you hit them, that's it for you guys.

There's nowhere to go from there. You're done. You're forgettable. Congratulations. You have a 16 You're forgettable. Congratulations. You have a 16 foot bass boat and a decent truck and not one person around you gives a fuck or will remember you. And which brings me to my next point, which is insignificance. Okay. We have mediocrity. Now we've got insignificance. One leads to the next. What's worse than realizing nothing in your life had any meaning and realizing way too late in life that you did what you could to barely get by and hit

the lowest common point of the American dream that was possible for you. At some point, you're going to be fourth in line at the grocery store with a cart full of water bottles and 200 rolls of toilet paper and you're going to suddenly think to yourself what the hell is the point of this is it going to matter in a year in a few months do I have legacy whatsoever are my kids going to be proud of me are the people that I consider friends now even going to show up at my funeral are they even going to have anything to say at all? That should scare you. Insignificance is a scary thought. Insignificance is something that should keep you up on a daily basis. Insignificance is something that you should truly fear. You know what the third thing you

should fear is? A life that offends no one. First off, why do you even worry about people who don't give a shit about you in the first place? Too many people go through life afraid of offending every single person around them and then they adopt behaviors that actually lead to mediocrity which leads to insignificance because of this fear. They make the same shitty jokes as everyone else around them. They pick their clothes to make sure they fit in with the same group. They bring nothing to a conversation that hasn't been deemed appropriate and verified by the masses. And then what ends up happening?

They become completely mediocre. They become completely insignificant and they can't figure out why. This is why. Because you're so afraid of what everybody else is going to say that you do nothing. And when you do nothing, you by default become mediocre. Okay? So this all ties together. Mediocrity, insignificance, life that offends no one. What's after that? Well, this is the worst part. Regret. That's point number four. and we would all look at him and he would go a long fucking time right and we'd be like yeah

and I know that's a little morbid and blunt but you know what dude big Jim is right at the end of your life you're gonna think one of two things oh shit it's too late and I didn't achieve what I wanted to or you know what I kicked ass and I did the best I could. So you have to ask yourself, are you taking any risks? Are you achieving anything? Are you doing anything worthy of bringing a legacy to your name? You can't wait until the last minute of your life to address these questions or you're going to come up with one answer and that answer is no. And guess what that answer does? It sucks. And I feel sorry for people that come to that answer and take their whole life to get there. The only way you can avoid this is if you're constantly asking these questions right now. Ask yourself, am I happy?

Do I have what I want? Am I who I want to be? Am I creating the impact I want to create? Am I setting the right example for my family, my friends, my community? Am I, am I, am I? Ask yourself the difficult questions and answer them honestly. And if you don't get the right answer, guess what? You could still make changes. You need to adjust and you need to start setting goals and working towards them. If you don't like the answers to those questions, guess what? You're still alive. You're still breathing air. Your

heart's still pumping. You still have the opportunity to adjust. So start setting goals and working towards them now. And that brings me to the last thing that you should fear. And that's point number five. And this is sad because this is happening right now. And this should serve as an example of why it's so important to do all the things that I mentioned right before this. The first four points, why they are so important, because right now we are witnessing thousands upon thousands of people dying. And not only are they dying, they're dying alone. See, dying alone is a fear that a lot of people have. Dying alone is one of those fears that people think about, but they don't think it's actually going to happen to them. Well, it's happening right now to

a lot of people who didn't think it was going to happen to them. And what's going to be their legacy? What's going to be their remembrance? What's going to be their purpose for being here? You see, we don't know when we're going to die. We don't know when things like this are going to happen. Okay. We can't plan for them. So that means we have to take every single day of our life to move towards the scenario to where you get to a point in life where you could be taken right now and people are still going to remember you and they're going to love you. And they're going to remember the good that you did and the impact you made. Point number five, something that you should absolutely fear is dying alone. And I don't mean specifically finding and having just a significant other. It's way more than that. And we're seeing it right now. I'm talking about relationships in general.

How many lasting friendships do you have? How many lasting relationships did you have? If you did anything right in your life, you should have at least a few. Ask yourself right now if you have any that will actually be there at the end, or if you die alone, will actually care about you past that time. It's a real question. I know it's morbid and I know it's scary, but it's real. And you have to ask yourself, how many people have I been loyal to? How many people have I treated the right way? How many have I cultivated a better life for? Have I built relationships where I actually cared about people and cared for people? If not, it's time to get to work on yourself. Just like any earlier point, you have to have some

significance. A lot of that is how you reflect and behave to those around you. You need to bring people up with you. You need to bring them on your journey to success and you need to work by inspiring them through the example that you live, not the example that you talk about living. You need to aspire to the point that every single time you come in contact with someone new, they walk away saying, damn, that's a good fucking dude. I'm glad I met that guy. So by now, when we go through these five points, okay, are you guys starting to see how easily all of this is connected? I mean, I hate to keep coming back to death, but I think when we take into consideration what's going on in the world right

now, it really does drive the point home for us. Okay. You have to think at my funeral, is there going to be a single person in the room? Is there going to be a handful of people talking to hush voices, how they haven't talked to me in years, or is it going to be totally different? Are they going to have to sell tickets because there's so many people that want to come to your funeral? Are they going to have to fight over who gets to perform your eulogy? All right? These are the things that I think about.

Are people going to stay out all night celebrating my life and telling my story and being thankful for meeting me and having it be a key turning point in their life? I'm not going to lie, guys. I know it sounds egotistical, but that's what I think about. I'm not afraid of dying or death, not in the literal sense. I'm afraid of being mediocre. I'm afraid of not having a legacy. I'm afraid of not cultivating relationships and dying alone.

I'm afraid of being so afraid of offending someone that no one thought I had a single fucking opinion about anything. But most of all, I'm afraid of living a completely insignificant life. So I know you're sitting at home right now and you're probably listening to this and you're probably staring at your TV and you're wondering, should I go stock up on hand sanitizer? Should I get gallon jugs of water? What's my boss going to think if I stay locked up inside until all this passes? Look, man, all this is bullshit. What you really need to be thinking about now is what legacy are you going to build? What's success look like to you. What does the ideal existence look like to you? What do the best?

relationships look like to you Because if you don't start thinking this way It doesn't matter if you die now or you die 50 years from now at the end of the day No one's gonna give a fuck and that should scare you.