REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 22. Real Talk: The Ego Pandemic

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

Are your beliefs actually your beliefs? Most people resonate with a "tribe" or belief system at an early age and don't change it their whole life.  They get stuck defending those beliefs they developed 5,10,20 years ago, because they never took the time to learn more.  On today's episode, I tell you how to fix that mindset, so that you can start evolving.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions In the project livin', spoke it till existence Mode changed to 50, got more cars than diddy I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250 What is up guys, you're listening to Andy Frisella And this is the show for the realest Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society And welcome to motherfuckin' reality

Guys, before I get into the show Modern Society. you guys so much. This is a really great community and just having you guys support our show and support myself and our companies and Sal and Vaughn and the whole crew here, DJ Joe, dude, there is a lot of effort that goes into this show and a lot of behind the scenes work that goes into it to put it on. And I just wanted to say I appreciate how much you all appreciate it. It's very, very much noticed and appreciated by all of us. And as you guys know, we do have a fee for the show. The fee is if you like the show, if you gain some knowledge, if you gain some perspective, if you gain some perspective,

if you learn some stuff that you think is helpful, we ask that you share the show. All right. This is the only way we grow the show. And for a number of years, the last five years or so, we've been able to compete with some of the biggest podcasts in the world. And for a long time, actually be the biggest podcast in the world, just based off of your guys' support. So I just want to say thank you, man. A lot of these other guys are out there spending big money to promote their podcast. They're running ads.

They're spending all kinds of production value money and crazy shit, and the reality is we don't have to do it, and we don't have to take on sponsors, and we don't have to do any of that stuff and waste the first 10 minutes of the show going through all the sponsors because you guys support the show. And so I just want to say thanks, man. And I ask that you keep sharing it. We're trying to grow this show and it's going to become more and more important that you share this show as the time goes on and you're going to start to see why. And you can read between the lines there if you you're going to start to see why. And you can read

between the lines there if you want, but it will get more important. Now today I have something that's on my mind. You know, I've been looking around this time in our society. You know, we have the COVID-19 pandemic going on, a very real situation. Very real situation from a number of different aspects, right? We've got people that are getting sick and some of those people are dying. And that happens with every pandemic. We've got a lot of businesses that are really hurting right now. We've got a lot of employees that are very unsure, very uncertain. Anxiety is at an all-time high for all of us, let's be real. Frustration, anger, there's just a huge mix of emotions. No one knows what to believe. And then on top of that,

we have people who are unwilling to move off the hill that they have planted their flag of life upon in terms of their political affiliations. Now, I'm not going to get into the politics of this because that's not what I want the show to be about right now. I mean, there's so much of that shit going around, right? Like, dude, I'm getting tired of hearing it. I'm getting tired of hearing myself talk about it. That's the truth. All right. But there's a lesson here in this that I think is worthy of talking about. And it's comes down to the reason that we stop growing and the reason that we stop evolving and the reason that we stop progressing in life. And that's ego. All right. And I want to give you guys a talk. A lot of people, they think ego is like, you know, flexing who you are and, you know, talking loud

and all this stuff. But really that isn't it at all. Ego is something that is very good for you that you need because it gives you the false confidence you need sometimes when you don't have confidence to actually go out and pursue what it is that you want. So there's good ego, right? That's a good thing sometimes. Sometimes we need ourselves to hype ourselves up to get us to go do some shit that maybe we thought we couldn't really do. That's how ego serves us in a positive way. It gives us those little bursts of courage that we wouldn't normally have. That's how ego serves us in a positive way. It gives us those little bursts of courage that we wouldn't normally have. And you know what? Sometimes when we get those little bursts of courage and we fall on our face, everybody laughs and our ego gets bruised.

All right. It happens to all of us, but that's okay. But what I want to talk about here is how the ego actually keeps you from progressing as a human. All right. Cause this is how it goes. And I, I don't think enough people understand this because what I'm seeing right now and where this came from was observing everybody's opinions and reactions to COVID. All right. Everybody in America is dealing with this right now. It doesn't matter if you're far left, far right, middle of the road. It doesn't matter if you're black. It doesn't matter if you're white. It doesn't matter if you're yellow. It doesn't matter if you're purple. It doesn't matter if you're red. It doesn't matter if you're gay, if you're straight or what gender you consider yourself to be, it affects everybody, everybody, okay?

But yet we have a scenario now where everybody is dying to politicize this issue and they're arguing over the details of the issue and they're having these moral judgments of people, okay? And I want to kind of just this is what inspired this topic so that's why I'm talking about it the problem with your ego is this and this is what most people do most people get to the age of adulthood and they get to be 19 20 21 22 years, and they decide then what it is they stand for. They decide at a very young age. And sometimes it's even younger than that. Sometimes it's when you're 12, you're 13,

and you're 14, and you're trying to please your parents or whoever you look up to your uncle or your dad or your mom, or maybe it's your grandpa, you're trying to form a persona that pleases that person that you admire. Okay. And so what happens is we get these beliefs anchored into us at a young age and very, very few of us ever stop and ask ourselves if the beliefs are actually true. We barely ever do that. Most people never do that. And I want to give you this key because really that's what this is. This is not only just to bring you aware of the situation, but also how you can use it to improve from where you are to where you want to go. And that's what I'm going to get to next. So people, they either get an indoctrinated in them or they get to be, you know, 20, 21, 22, and they find a tribe or they find a group or they find something that they can be a part of

that is contingent upon believing certain things. And because they plant this flag at such an early age, what happens is over the next 80 years of their life, they spend their entire lives so cemented in these beliefs that it actually makes them unhappy because they have to defend these beliefs, especially when they actually aren't true. So I want you to follow along with what I'm trying to describe here. You're young. You don't know shit. Somebody puts ideas in your head. Okay. And then you decide this is who I am. And then for the next 30 years, you want to say, yes, this is who I am. This is who I am. This is what I stand for. This is what I believe. And it doesn't matter how much truth or how much evidence or how much

logic is shown to you regarding the issues that you identify as your identity. It doesn't matter. You will stick with that. So what I want you guys to become aware of is I want you to realize that you cannot evolve if you continue to identify with who you were when you were 21 years old or 14 years old or 25 or 18 when you're 30 and you're 35. You do not want to be the same person who is saying the same shit when you're 35 as you did when you were 19. That means you haven't grown. That means you haven't learned because I'm going to tell you something. No matter how smart you are, there is a lot of shit you don't know.

And especially when you're 19, 20, 20 21 you just don't realize it and this is why most people have a problem evolving because they've attached themselves to an identity that was given to them by a group of people that validated their own self-worth and made them feel a part of whatever it was that they are a part of. And then people go on and argue this their entire lives. So if you don't want to be one of these people who stays exactly where they are and who constantly feels attacked and who constantly feels frustrated and who constantly feels angry and who constantly feels like everybody's attacking them, you might want to take inventory of what it is you believe you stand for and start to ask yourself

if those things are actually true. And let me tell you a little secret. It's okay if they're not true. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to start to redefine who you are and what you believe. Because in your heart, that frustration you feel, that anger you feel, that anxiety you feel about who you are, that comes from your ability to not let go of who you used to be and what you used to think. And when you can let go of who you used to be and what you used to think, now you live in a much lighter, a much happier, and a much easier existence

because now you're not stuck defending principles and faulty logic that you bought into 10 or 20 or 30 years ago, and now you're able to actually evaluate the information that is presented and decide what makes logical sense. Okay. This is the key to moving forward in life. This is the key to getting better. This is the key to better relationships, better careers, better fitness.

You have to stop and let go of what you think you know and start to listen. And you need to listen to other people than the people who just validate your own beliefs. This is another problem people have. People don't go out and search for the real information. They go out and they search for information to validate what they believe. This is faulty logic. This is the reason a lot of people spin their wheels their entire lives. You have to be able to evaluate whether or not the information is true, not whether or not the information supports your opinion. And you have to delineate between those two sources and that takes awareness. So what I'm trying to do here, guys, is I'm trying to let you think about why you believe

what you believe, who taught it to you, do you believe it's actually true, or are you just hanging on to something that you used to believe 10 years ago? And I also want this to be something that gives you permission to change your mind. It is okay to evolve. It is okay to reevaluate. It is okay to change your mind. That doesn't mean you didn't know or you did something wrong. What it means is you're evolving as a mature person who can now evaluate and seek truth. And when you seek truth with no ego attached to it, you're able to move freely through life without the anxiety, without the fear, without the frustration, and without the pressure of having to defend

yourself every time your opinion comes out of your mouth. Okay. You want to be happier. You want to be more free. You want to be lighter. You want to be all these things that all the spiritual gurus out there are trying to push you to be. It's very simple. Let go of what you think you know stop seeking information to validate your opinion and start seeking the actual truth if you do those things you will not need 997 courses you will not need therapy you will not need meditation 15 times a day on live you just won't need this shit guys, because it'll make sense. Okay. Now you might need therapy. I might've been speaking out of my ass there. You might be fucked up. I've been therapy, not lots of times. It really didn't do much for me,

but I realized that it's a big deal for a lot of other people. So I didn't mean to misspeak there. Sometimes I just get going and things come out of my mouth But you know what? That's just the case right there Because I'm able to catch me on my own bullshit You see what I'm saying? I don't have a problem with that I'm okay being wrong In fact, I like to be wrong And the reason I like to be wrong

Is because when I'm wrong I remember why I was wrong And I start to look for why I was wrong And then I'm able to make accurate decisions About the way the world is See guys, this show is called Real As Fuck for why I was wrong, and then I'm able to make accurate decisions about the way the world is. See, guys, this show is called Real as Fuck. It's for realists. I say it in the intro. It is not for idealists. It is not for people who wish things were a certain way. It's for people who understand the way things are and then react to that situation. This is a huge, huge dividing factor

amongst society right now. We have a huge group of people who want to deal with things in the way they should be. And then we have the people over here that want to deal with things the way they are. Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if you deal with what is, you're generally going to make better decisions that are going to produce a better result. And if you deal with the way you wish it was, you're going to make decisions based around the perspective that isn't true. So it's very important that you start to observe the way things really are and not just say, well, you know, it's not that way because so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so from 20 years ago told me this, or my hero told me this, or a person I admire said this.

It doesn't matter. The truth is the truth. the facts are the facts and your decisions should be made around those two things the truth and the facts they should not be made around your ego or around the way you wish things were unless you're willing to deal with the way things are and make decisions that will then change your situation into the way you wish that things were all right so guys stop feeling confined by your own ego stop letting your pride and your hubris get in the way of your happiness stop letting your ability and your want and your desire to prove how smart you are keep you from actually becoming smart because that's most people right now and that's most people all the time. And I can see what's going on now as an opportunity for you to maybe let go of some of the previous

beliefs you had about politics, some of the previous beliefs you had about politics, some of the previous beliefs you had about people, some of the previous beliefs you had about the world, and start to adopt a truth so that you can make better decisions for yourself and for your family. All right? Ego stops growth. And if you don't get control of it, you will not develop. You will fight your whole life for causes that will not reward you for that fight.

The truth is the truth. The facts are the facts. And you need to make decisions according to those things. If you want to be effective, if you want to be happy, if you want to live a fulfilling life, you must do it by removing your desire to be right and start pursuing what's right. So guys, that's the point. That's all I want you to realize. I want you to take some time. I want you to evaluate what you think is your truth. I want you to evaluate the mountain that you've planted your flag on oh so many years ago. And I want you to ask yourself, is this the right mountain for me?

Is this bringing fulfillment to my life? Is this making me happy? Is this allowing me to progress through life happy, productive, fulfilled, financially secure? And if it isn't, it's okay to pick that flag up and move it to another mountain. Okay? Now, guys, if you like the show, please do me a favor. Share the show. Talk about the show.

If your friends are, you know, Zooming on, cause we don't get together on Friday nights right now. We zoom. If you're doing a zoom and chill, you know, bring the show up, man. And just say, Hey, this is a good thing for you guys to listen to. All right. I love you guys again. Thanks for all the support. And I'll talk to you next time.