REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 234. Q&AF: Recognizing Your Bitch Voice, First Impressions Are Overrated & Signs Of Complacency

Episode Date: February 13, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how you can tell if your bitch voice is creeping into your head, why first impressions are often overrated, and how to recognize signs of complacency so that you can overcome them.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest take a bite of the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af this is where you bring the q's and i bring the afs and as always i'm joined by my co-host dj yeah yeah dr diversity dr diversity oh that was a good one but that fuck off all right doctor diversity that is that what where does that fit in the hierarchy of nicknames uh you know i think it's just getting started so we'll just see how it goes so it's below white lightning oh 100 bro white lightning is like that that's gonna be fucking on my fucking tombstone oh really you know i'm saying like is it white lightning he had a great life you know like yeah that's gonna be what's that what do you think madat

i think we should start the show over let's start the show over yeah fuck you guys all right let's get on with the show so i got three questions for you brother okay we got three questions and uh i'm I'm going to answer those questions. And then if, if they, if you are satisfied with the answers to these questions or you thought they were good, or it taught you some things, you're going to share the show. That's how this works. All right. So what do we got? Uh, we got three of them, three good ones for you guys. And always guys, you can email these questions into ask Andy at any for seller for seller.com um and with that being said question andy you talk about the bitch voice and the boss voice a lot right um how do you tell the difference between your bitch voice and your boss voice and when you actually need a break or actually

need rest like how do you differentiate that um most of the time the vast majority of the time uh it's your bitch voice okay most humans are so conditioned to be fucking weak and soft and rest and take a break that they've been doing that their whole entire fucking lives okay so first of all very rarely do people run into this actual problem. More frequently, when you work reasonably hard, you are going to have a response that says this is hard and you're going to have to understand that it's supposed to be hard. I am of the opinion that people cut themselves way too much slack and lean way too hard on taking it easy, give yourself a break. You don't have to go that hard, which is why their life fucking sucks. Because you listen to everybody else whose lives fucking suck. Okay. So how do you know the difference? It's very simple. When you hear a voice in your head

That deters you from doing what it is, you know, you're supposed to do That's your bitch voice When you've done what you're supposed to do Then it's time for a rest This is very simple Okay People think they're working hard when they're not working hard people think they're exerting themselves when they're not exerting themselves People think they're at their fucking limits before they're even in the realm of their actual fucking limits

This is a this is a pandemic. This is a cultural disease all right, so Worry less about when you need your actual rest and worry more if you've actually earned that rest. That's my fucking answer. Yeah. So I wouldn't concern yourself with do you need an actual rest? You likely need to toughen the fuck up. Which is the whole point of the program.

Yeah. I love it. I can't stand, honestly, when people get, when I get that question, if I'm being completely honest, most of you motherfuckers are weak as fuck.

Okay. Most people are weak as fuck. I got asked, I got asked recently, you know, if a gallon of water was unreasonable, if you could get sick from it. No.

Like, bro, we're fucking pussies. Yeah. Okay? And I don't care if you like that word or not like that word or whatever, dude. I don't care. That's to my point. Right? Fuck, dude.

Toughen the fuck up. Understand that anything worth achieving is going to be difficult. Understand that anything that you're going to be proud of at the end of your fucking life is going to come from you telling yourself to shut the fuck up and finish what you started. And if you don't have that capacity, you're not going to be very successful. Like a lot of people that try to do 75 hard shouldn't even be doing it. They should just go fucking accept their life, accept it because they want to bend it.

They want to twist it. They want to know when their next cheat meals come in or when the rest is coming, bro. If you're fucking out here trying to, you know, wait for your next period of rest, you're,

you're, you don't have it. Like you don't have it in you. You know what I'm saying? Like you're focused on the wrong shit. You're already focused on the fucking. Yeah. Like, dude, why don't you focus on what you're going to gain? Why don't you focus on what it is you're about to do with your life? Why don't you focus on all the skills and qualities that you're going to build within yourself that you've never fucking had. So you don't realize how amazing your life will fucking be once you have that. Why don't you focus on that for once in

your fucking life instead of worrying about when the fucking rest is going to come. I love it. I fucking love it. Andy, question number two, how important are first impressions to you? And what are some quote unquote networking tips that someone, that this person should use when it comes to first impressions? First impressions are overrated. All right. Everybody says, Oh,

your first impression is going to make or break you. Yeah. If you're dealing with someone who's a fucking moron. Okay. I can't tell you how many times I've met someone and it, the very first impression, I fucking hated them only to figure out that they were exactly like me. And that's why I fucking hated them.

And then we became very good friends. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So if you're dealing with someone who's closed minded, who's, who is aloof, who's arrogant, who thinks they're the shit. Yeah. First impressions might matter, but at the end of the day, what's arrogant, who thinks they're the shit. Yeah. First impressions might matter,

but at the end of the day, what's really going to speak is who you are over the consistent long-term, what skills you build, what kind of life you're building, what your work ethics like, how kind you are, how you treat other people. And those things matter much more than trying to manufacture a fucking first impression. So what I would concentrate on is becoming a person of character and values that stands on that with a fucking solid ass backbone. That's confident that believes in themselves because that shit is sensed. You sense it. There's no manufacturing required.

There's no routine to be practiced. We really should practice on is developing yourself into one of these people who literally permeates confidence, who literally permeates the attractiveness of knowing that I want to know that person because they don't seem to really need anything that I have. The charisma, yeah. Right. And that's's sensed and that comes from building it and it comes from really the qualities you gain in 75 hard your confidence your self-esteem your self-image your belief in yourself your discipline your fortitude your grit you know when you meet a motherfucker that has all those things just like you know when you meet a motherfucker that's killed people you just know okay that fucking guy kills him yeah so let's stop trying

to manufacture this fake fucking thing for people to have a perception of us about oh first impressions elevator speeches yeah yeah bro instead becomes so good. No one can fucking ignore you. Then you don't have to worry about first impressions. I don't give two fucks what someone thinks about me because I know when they dig in or if they observe me for a good amount of time, they'll figure it the fuck out. And if they aren't willing to invest that time to figure it out, I don't need them. That's real. Okay.

So you guys are too concerned with manufacturing this and this comes from social media it comes from getting all your likes and shares and you know a lot of you guys become slaves to the fucking program because you're just dancing you're you're no different than a circus bear you're dancing for your fucking next little treat little salmon and the treat is your fucking likes and your shares instead of being who the fuck you are or putting in the work to become undeniably great. Right? Like, dude, this is

it's perception versus reality and reality is always going to win. So stop thinking about trying to manufacture a first impression and start thinking about becoming someone who's so fucking good they don't even need an introduction. How about that? That's how I look at shit.

Yeah, that's real. People introduce themselves to you. Motherfucker, I don't introduce myself. Everybody knows who the fuck I am when I walk in the room. True or not true? Very, very true. Okay. So it is what it fucking is.

Yeah. Become great. And you won't have to worry about it. Solves all your problems. Fucking love it. Andy, our third and final question for you, man. Andy, what are the signs of complacency and how do you handle it when you notice them? Whoa, that's a good one, man. Honestly, I think it comes down to noticing when you start to compromise.

Complacency comes from compromise. And the compromise in the beginning is very small. It's doing 40 minutes instead of 45 minutes on your outdoor workout. Or it's eating three crackers that you know weren't on your program that you weren't supposed to. That's where complacency starts. It starts at the first compromise, the compromise that you think nobody's going to notice, nobody's going to see, only I'll know it's okay because I'm going to do extra 20 minutes tomorrow of cardio. That's where complacency starts. It creeps. It starts with one little compromise, which leads to a second compromise, which leads

to a third compromise, which eventually leads to nothing mattering at all, okay? And once you end up in your, and this happens gradually, it's like the frog in the boiling pot of water. It's like the tyranny going on in our country right now. All right. The first little compromise that you give gives them more power. The second one, more power. The third one, more power. And then to the point where you don't have any left. This is the same thing with everything in life. Okay. So if you want to avoid complacency, stop compromising on the small shit. Hold your standards, hold your line, get to a point where you understand that you're executing

against the things that you said you were going to execute against and do that. It's very fucking simple, but you know, getting to a place of comfort or getting to a place of complacency happens to everybody. And that's why I talk to you guys about discipline being a perishable skill. It's a skill. It's something that you have to brush up on regularly throughout your life over and over and over and over again. That's why whenever people say, oh, 75 hard is not sustainable. No shit, brother.

It's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be a tune-up for your fucking brain, just like you would go do a tune-up in the fucking gym. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, fuck. I don't know what to say other than that. Yeah, I love it.

I love it. You love everything I say. Good shit. Yeah, 100%, right? Yeah, no no shit or so i've been told he's trying hard not to say that so you can see it on his fucking face i'm i'm 100 not trying not hard i support you dj yeah anyway bro i like to me this is i don't know well you say you say you like everybody has to like everybody goes through that so like what what does what do you personally do when you notice yourself getting out of that like back the fuck up yeah i realize i'm honest with myself i say fuck dude you're slipping yeah

like dude we're not able to have honest conversations with our own fucking self anymore we lie to ourselves we tell ourselves all the shit that we know isn't even true so that we can feel good in the moment. And instead of getting what's done, it's going to make you feel good a month from now or a week from now or a year from now. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So like, bro, you have to have a finger on the pulse of your own bullshit all the time.

All right? You have to be able to identify and be honest with yourself when you cut a fucking corner. You have, you cannot continue to like say, oh, it's okay. Cause it isn't okay. It's been okay. Your whole fucking life. And clearly you're dissatisfied where the fuck you are. So stop saying it's okay. Cause it isn't. Does that make sense? Like fuck fuck, man. Everybody gets to a point where they feel complacent. Everybody gets to a point where they get comfortable.

It sneaks up on you. It creeps up on you like a motherfucking ninja. And I'm just telling you, it's your compromises that lead to that. It's the little compromises you make when no one's looking that lead to complacency, which lead to comfort, which lead to you losing all your shit, whatever it is that you have, whether it be your physical health, your relationship, your fucking business, your job or whatever,

you know, and I don't understand how hard it's not a hard concept to grasp. Stop compromising on the little shit and the big shit will take care of itself. You won't get to a point of complacency or you'll at least delay it. But I mean, being aware enough to look at yourself and say, you know what? I'm not giving what I could. That's a big fucking deal. And most people lack that. They lack the ability to criticize themselves in a real way. They either overly criticize themselves and make themselves feel like dog shit, or they

build themselves up to be someone that they clearly aren't. And they end up getting stomped. And the truth is usually right down the middle, right? So being able to honestly observe your actions and tell yourself the truth is a massive skill that people have to develop. And it's being self-aware. so what is the truth of your situation are you actually giving what you could be giving or are you coasting are you doing the little things or are you not doing the little things there's no in between right you either are you fucking aren't right and people think there's like a nuance i'm kind of doing it yeah kind of doing it don't get it done in a competitive world.

So realize that you're competing against literally millions of other humans for a spot somewhere in the realm of where it is you decide you want to be in life. There's still a select few spots there. Someone else will get your spot because you're willing to compromise some of the time. That's just reality yeah so i i you know people like to talk about all this bullshit uh you know that everybody is gonna win and everybody gets to win no no they don't yeah and that's reality that's not idealistic thinking i would it would it be cool if everybody got to win sure i guess so but then again i don't know that it would be because then what would winning be it would be fucking average somebody's got to lose and the people who lose are people who cut

corners and compromise and get to a place of complacency and don't recognize it can't have an honest conversation with themselves and so their life apart. So if you don't want to lose, don't do that. That's awesome. Well, Andy, guys, that is three. So go pay the fee. Yeah. Pay the fee.