REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 240. Q&AF: Handling Decisions In Business, Managing Your Stress & Dealing With Disrespectful Customers

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

In today's episodes, Andy answers your questions on how to delegate decisions when operating your business, the best way to manage stress in your daily life, and how much disrespect you should tolerate from your customers.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af this is where you bring the q's and i bring the afs as always i've got my uh my co-host with me mr dj dj doctor diversity doctor diversity that's right just for like eight more days. What's that mean? What's an eight more days, man? I don't know. March 1st. Oh, fuck.

Bro, you know, I don't even know what day it is. All the days are the same to me. Yeah, they do blend in for me, man. Yeah. All right. So we got Q&A. This is how this works. You submit the questions. I give you the answers.

You could submit your questions where? Email your questions in, guys, to askandyandandyforsella.com. Now, these could be questions about anything. I like to answer the questions about how to get fucking better, okay? For those of you that don't know, I had the number one podcast in business podcast history. We were number one in iTunes for 19 months uninterrupted, which is an iTunes record. All right. And I transferred the show over to Real AF to talk about social issues and freedom because if we don't have it, we can't make any fucking money and do any cool baller shit.

So I try to do the CTIs to bring awareness over there, make that a little funny so it's actually palatable. And then I try to do the Q and A s for you motherfuckers to get better all right they're both extremely important right now today we're gonna get better i hope i hope the questions are about that yeah i don't know we got some good ones for you all right good people still out there trying to get better yeah people are still trying to get better man okay let's get this going uh there is a fee there is a fee the fee is very simple if you learn something if it made you think if it made you laugh if it gave you a new perspective if it taught you uh something that you think is important to your success which i promise you it will i ask very humbly

please share the show okay i don't fill your ears full of ads uh and and talk about bullshit for i mean maybe i do talk about bullshit but uh i try to keep the show direct uh bite-sized consumable let's get better stuff okay so um yeah let's start share the show any question number one for you so when it comes to making decisions in your business right and how these decisions should be made and who makes them. How do you determine who makes them? Like if it's a decision that you should be making, or if you delegate that off to your other leaders inside your company, how do you handle that? That's a process. Okay. That's a process that is developed through the blood, sweat, and tears of learning lessons throughout, you know, the process of running a company.

So everybody in my company starts out at the beginning for the most part. Unless you have some special skill like animation or programming or coding or audio production, you're going to start out in this retail stores or packing boxes in the back that's just the way it is okay once you move through and you move up because of the nature of how we promote from within for the most part these people are learning the ins and outs of our company okay and at various levels yes and it's important because you can't have someone making decisions at the top that doesn't understand what's happening out in the warehouse or what's happening in service or what's happening in any of the other areas because that's how you end up with shit that doesn't work. Right.

So they have to have a comprehensive understanding of what our mission is. And that honestly starts with the people who touch the product to communicate with the customers because that's what the customer perception is of your company, right? Sure. This is why I always say the people who pack your boxes are the most important fucking people in your company. And that's no different here. So first of all, that has to be said because you have to understand that for people to even get in a position in my companies to make decisions, they have to go through this, right? Now, a lot of business owners struggle with relinquishing decision-making ability or delegating because they feel like everybody's going to make a mistake.

Well, guess what? They are. They're going to fuck up all your shit over and over and over again. What you have to do is change your perspective on that, right? As a leader, you have to understand that part of you getting where you are was you making mistakes. What if you made a mistake, like the rookiest mistake you ever made, and then you just got someone came around and say, hey, you're done with this business. You got to go do something else. You understand what I'm saying? You would have never got where you are. And so you have to view your employees the same way. And you have to see them as people who are progressing, who are learning, who are operating in good faith and making mistakes. Now, sometimes malicious or they steal or something that's different. All right.

But I'm talking about mistakes. Mistakes are going to happen. And the way to look at these mistakes as they happen is it's an investment in their education, in your company, right? If someone messes up something and it costs you 10 grand, instead of looking at it like, oh shit, I lost 10 grand. You should look at it like, okay, that lesson cost me 10 grand and make sure that the person who made the mistake understands very clearly that other places you would have gotten fired for that. But here's what I'm going to do. We're going to have a conversation. I'm going to make sure that you know exactly why you fucked up, exactly why you shouldn't do that.

And I'm going to take the time to educate you and see here's why this is the better long-term play than just firing people when they make mistakes. Because they're going to mistakes because they're going to improve and they're going to get better. And every time they make one of these little mistakes in the big scheme of things that may seem big now, they are improving their skillset. They are getting better. They are becoming a better part of your team. So you have to understand that mistakes are an investment in their education. As long as you've communicated what to do next time. And you trust that they're not going to make that same mistake again. Right. And then what I do is I make the mistake known to the

whole company. No, for real. Okay. And it's embarrassing. It embarrasses people, but you know what? I don't fucking care because if everybody can learn from this one mistake, we're much better off as a company. All right? So that's the way you do it. Eventually, you get to a point where you know that people can make decisions and you trust them. My key guys, I know I can say, hey, go do this. And they're going to probably have 15 questions that need to be answered to get that done.

And I know they're capable of answering them because they've paid that price and the investment in their mistakes. And we've worked together to overcome that. Does that make sense? That makes perfect sense. So that's why, that's the difference between having a culture and a company where everybody's built in and bought in versus hiring the new person that's going to come in and make the same fucking mistake the old guy made. And by the way, the old guy you fired had two years of experience that the new guy doesn't. What sense does that make? It doesn't. I love that. Give them the same leniency you give yourself. You have to. Yeah, I love that. It's an investment in your business. And if you don't do

that and you walk around with your dick hanging out thinking you're some big, tough boss, you're going to suck. You're going to get stopped by the people who understand what I just said because all of their team is able to make decisions. The biggest question I get in here when people walk through this building is how did you find all these people? Fuck, motherfucker. Are you an idiot? I didn't find these people. We fucking built these people.

Okay. There's a fucking code of fucking conduct here. There's a code of standards and these people don't even get to the, they don't even get in the door unless they live that shit. Most people couldn't work here. Most of the CEOs that I've met in business legitimately, legitimately could not work for me. They could not work for me. Okay. So just think about that. That's me holding a high standard and my team buying into that standard and them holding that standard over years and years and years and years and years. You don't just go fucking find people like this because they

don't fucking exist. We built each other together. Andy, question number two for you. Okay. And I got some back, a little backstory on this, but the question is simply, Andy, how do you okay and i got some back uh a little backstory on this but the question is simply andy how do you manage and handle stress right so some people some of these gurus out here yeah no shit but some people push this shit off it's like oh you know the gurus they live a straight stress-free life right and everybody knows you know you have the saying zero compromise do you also have a saying that says zero fucks given like how do you handle that stress well i think i think zero fucks given is an overstated thing first of all the motherfuckers that say that shit let's just be fucking real they're the

ones that give the fucks most fuck you and then the next 17 slides are about man nobody texts me back or nobody did this or that or this or this or this bro you're telling on yourself the people who say that shit are the you know who doesn't give a fuck people that don't explain themselves all right we just saw gary v post a new fucking photo yesterday with his new girlfriend and he got divorced okay people get divorced every fucking day right and all these fucking people who don't know shit about gary v never met him never talked to him never did anything for him besides maybe buy a book okay or calling them all these names and and and i'm just gonna go off on a little tangent okay while i got your attention you motherfuckers have no right to other people's personal lives on the internet just because you

follow them like i'm reading all these comments and they're like, explain yourself, explain, explain yourself to who, who the fuck are you? Right. And dude, you people on the internet, you've, you've gotten entitled to other people's entire lives. You know why?

You know what you're going to do? You're going to create a scenario where none of those motherfuckers give you shit. Gary's get, look, dude, we all know that I don't agree with everything fucking Gary says, but he is my friend.

I'm going to tell you this. I'm happy for him. Yeah. Okay. He doesn't need to explain himself, especially not to you motherfuckers on the internet. Oh, I'm so disappointed.

Well, fuck you then. That's real, man. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's,

I don't give a fuck. That's the false perception. Okay. So you want to look at who, who actually gives a fuck people that don't explain or who actually don't give a fuck people who don't explain themselves. I respect that. Fuck you. This is my life. I'm going to do what I want. And if you don't explain or who actually don't give a fuck people who don't explain themselves i respect that fuck you this is my life i'm gonna do what i want and if you don't like it you can eat shit how about that so let's get that real clear i'm sick of these people on fucking internet going

at people's personal lives oh i'm so disappointed in you i don't fucking care who the fuck are you you're sitting at home fucking being a fat fuck watching a view on TV. You ain't contributing shit. You're playing Call of Duty nine hours a day. Fuck you. Like, I don't care. That's real. You know, so let's get that straight.

The people who say I don't give a fuck and talk about it, they give a lot of fucks. The people who just live their lives and don't explain shit, they actually don't give a fuck. So kudos to Gary and fuck you guys criticizing him. You don't know what's going on in his personal life. You don't know what it takes to build a company like he's built. Motherfucker, I know what that takes. That's a very difficult thing. Okay?

And it's hard on everybody around you. And sometimes shit happens. That's the way it is. I'm fucking tired of people judging everybody for their fucking personal lives like they owe you more. This motherfucker gave you fucking 15 years of fucking content to build milk. By the way, I'm a huge fucking benefiter of that. And I'll always say that one of the best books I ever read was Gary V's crushing 2010 made me fucking hundreds of millions of dollars. All right. So I'm forever indebted to Gary for the, for the information

that he's put out. And you motherfuckersers are mad because he got a girlfriend and got divorced people get to 70 of motherfuckers get divorced fucking idiots dude i'm just sick of the attitude i love it i love it you know oh i'm so disappointed oh my god fuck you yeah all right so anyway what was the question so how do you handle stress how do you manage it uh you have a zero well i have this podcast that i come on every day uh look dude my stress is managed uh you know first of all let me let me be real okay i don't walk around going on rants all day like maybe sometimes i do but i'm a pretty chill dude okay so like i understand how to manage stress for the most part um but i'm not a fucking

perfect stress is something that you acclimate to right it's like a fucking cold pool like when you first get in the pool and it's cold it's like fuck it's cold and then like you're just like fuck it i'm getting all the in up to my titties. Right. And like, dude, you get in and the fucking two minutes later, it's like normal. Right. Okay. That's what the fuck it's like.

So when you first start feeling any real stress, it feels really bad. When you start to understand that everything is going to be fucked up every fucking day, no matter what, no matter how hard you try and you start to understand that it becomes easier to deal with because you don't get as emotionally attached to the fucking outcomes. You're just like, oh, OK. Like I walk into Sal's office. I'm like, all right, well, what do you need for me today? And he's like, well, I got this and this and this. And I'm like, OK, a two three.

I give him the fucking answers. And then I walk into Jason's office and I say, what bullshit you got, motherfucker? And he says, I got this and this and this. And'm like okay dude dude dude and it's done and i walk the fuck out i go lift weights i talk shit on this microphone and i i'm very disciplined in my life i control my food i control my training i control uh all the things i can control which help press the stress down right when you're the reason stress really hurts people is because they don't understand that the stress, a lot of stress comes from anxiety, which feels, uh, which is generally created by being out of control and all kinds of other areas in your life.

So when you can control what you can control, right? You can control what water you drink. You can control what information you read. You can control what information you read. You can control what food you eat. You can control your activity. When you could, you could control who the fuck you interact with. When you start to really get disciplined and take control of this. And this is one of the reasons 75 hard is such a fucking huge deal because it forces you to do all those things, including surrounding yourself with the right people. Because by default, you become so fucking busy. You including surrounding yourself with the right people, because by default you become so fucking busy. You can only fucking socialize with people who are there to support you. All right. And anybody who's actually done the program the right way, that's one of the things

that they understand that they learn to tell people to fuck off because they have other priorities. And once you learn to tell people to fuck off and you don't have any anxiety about that, your stress goes way the fuck down. Okay. So, you know, that's how I do it. And a lot of people are like, Oh, fucking meditate. And look, dude, I'm all about it. Like I'm, I'm totally connected to the fucking source. I understand the power of the universe and God and all of these things. I, I wouldn't be here without it, But there has to be action and discipline combined with those things for it to truly work. A lot of people sit around with their fucking incense and their fucking cards or whatever the fuck.

Like, and make these fucking noises and they don't do nothing else. And that ain't going to work for you, bro. It ain't going to work. Just because you grew dreadlocks, put petroleum in your fucking hair, doesn't mean shit, okay? You got to do the fucking other work with it. And the other work is uncomfortable and it's hard and it takes time to get used to. But once you start to

get used to it and then combined it with that, you have a situation where, where you're in control of your stress. And the reason you're in control of your stress is because you're in control of almost every area of your life that could possibly be controlled when you control the shit that you can actually control in a real way the stress just becomes something that is you know you're just like okay you know it's not these like world-ending crises you know what i'm saying yeah that's fucking awesome and shout out to gary yeah fuck dude no for real Like, why are people busting his balls? Oh, he didn't ever showcase his family. It's not like he built his brand around, you know, like other people.

He's a family guy. It's not like these. Yeah, right, dude. That's what I'm saying. Like, I've known Gary since 2013. You know, we've had a fucking thousand conversations. The family thing is not part of what Gary Vee is. That's his life.

He keeps that private. Yes. Bro, and I get it, too. This is what irrit of what Gary Vee is. That's his life. He keeps that private. Yes. Bro, and I get it too. This is what irritates the fuck out of me. People are like, how come you and Emily don't post each other? No dissonance. You know what, motherfucker? Maybe some people don't want all you stupid fucks intertwined into their shit.

You ever think about that? Yeah. Yeah, that's real. Fuck. People forget they're normal too because you see the perfect relationship people out there. And then, you know, two years later,

the motherfuckers that you get mad at, right? Like there's a lot of people and you guys know who I'm talking about, who have been out there and they're preaching about how great they are in relationships. And they've sold relationship guides and this, this, this,

this, this three years later. Yeah. And then all this shit comes out about him, right? Like, dude, that's just a,

that's a time bomb waiting to blow the fuck up because every relationship ever, whether it be a friendship, romantic relationship, this, that, the other is going to have problems, right? There's going to be issues that happen. And that's without the whole entire world digging into it. So honestly, bro, I get why people leave the internet or why other wealthy and successful people don't do things and I certainly know Why more leaders aren't stepping up to help fix this country? Because you motherfuckers want to pick them apart for every fucking thing that they do And it doesn't matter to you that they could go into the fucking government and create gas

That's affordable and housing that's affordable and more money in your motherfucking pocket You want to attack someone for their fucking personal, something they did 20 years ago. Fuck you. Like, dude, I am done with these people. No, it's real, man. I don't answer to you motherfuckers. Understand that. I don't answer to you.

Gary don't answer to you. Any of these other people that you don't know on a personal level, they don't answer to you fucks. So get that through your fucking heads. Guys, our third and final question for andy andy how much if any disrespect do you tolerate from customers or clients so the backstory is this person has a long-time client it pays very very well to them but they're super condescending they take advantage of their of his time and they disregard a lot of his professional opinions but they pay pay good money how much of any disrespect do you handle from your customers that's a personal tolerance question you know like for

what do you think i put up with yeah you know i'm saying yeah like i am very grateful you are what you tolerate listen i am very grateful for the customers that we have. My customers and all of my businesses outside of the tequila and the weed business, they're coming to greatly improve their lives. So I'm very respectful of them, and they are respectful in return. And the reason I have respect for them is because they have committed to the process of understanding that they are at fault for what the fuck they created and they are taking the steps to get better. I fucking love people like that. Okay. And so when people like that get pissed off, I care a lot about it. All right. But it

ain't ever those people that get pissed off. It's always the motherfuckers that don't want to do shit. They want you to do everything for them. And then they want to fucking complain or leverage you on the internet. This goes back to my last question, right? Like, dude, fuck you for real. You know what I'm saying? Like you have to understand that there is a time and place to fire your customers sometimes. Okay. And for this, it depends on where you are in business too. And it's just reality and people don't like this, but if that's your only customer, you better fucking figure out fucking, you better stick with them. Yeah, you better do what you got to do. But the truth is, if you had 10 more like them, how much would you put up with him?

That's going to change, right? So the focus, so if I was this person where I would focus on is building out my company in this other direction and find 10 more great playing customers. And then, and then eventually be able to look at this guy and be like, Hey bro, I don't have room for you. Isn't that better? Isn't that a better disrespect than them fucking being a dick to you? Then think what my guy's going to do, you know, cause that guy's going to flip the fuck

out. What do you mean? You don't have a respect. Not bro. I don't have place for you no more. Why blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah, but you also blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And these other motherfuckers don't see what I'm saying. So yes, there's a time and place to fire your customers, especially in today's age where they try to fucking leverage you and hold you over barrel and get you to explain yourself. And you know, it's not, it's no longer a business. It's, it's, do I agree with every

decision that the fucking leadership of the business makes? Like that's never been a way that business has been done in the entire fucking commerce of the world, the history of fucking mankind, but that's how it is right now. So you have to be, you have to make a decision. Do you want to bend over and fucking take whatever everybody gives you? Or do you just want to say, Hey, you know what? I offer a great product, great service, this, this, this. And if you could go do better, go do better. And that's a benefit of being the best in your space. If you're the best in your space, people can't go out and fucking find better shit. So you don't, they can't leverage you. You see what I'm saying? Right. Right. So like, dude,

if I was this person, here's how I would truly handle it. Now, I know I just kind of talked a lot of shit, but how I would actually handle it, like, like real Andy, I'd call the person and I'd say, Hey, you got time to have a meeting. I'd have a meeting and I'd be like, Hey, look, dude, I really appreciate your business like a lot. And before we get into this conversation, I want you to know that I fucking really, really appreciate it. It helps be my family. It helps everything and everything and everything. But here's the problem I have with it. Okay. You treat me like shit. You do this, you do that, you do this. And here's the thing. I would actually want to do a much better job for you if you didn't do those things and have a real conversation, man to man or man to woman, whatever it is, right?

And fucking tell the truth. Just lay it out. Yeah. Bro, if you don't tell the truth, how's it going to get fixed? See? Or maybe that's why they're acting like that because you're not having that conversation with them. Well, that's exactly right. People only bully people when they think they're going to take it. Once, when a bully's on, this is the same thing going on in the world right now okay when the bully fucking when when the fucking little kid the victim gets finally

fed up and knocks the bully's fucking teeth out guess what happens the bully shows up the next day he's a lot nicer yeah okay and i've learned that firsthand in my whole entire life like some of these politicians running our country need to be punched in the motherfucking face. Hard. In fact, I'm going to hire Jake Paul. Jake Paul versus Joe Biden. Clearly, he could punch harder than anybody. But look, dude. You know, the truth is, like, handle it the right way.

You know, take the high road, dude. Try the high road first. Hey, man, can I have a real conversation with you? You know, you might end up finding out that that person is really fucking cool and actually respects the shit out of you for standing up to them. See what I'm saying? Yeah. It could go a whole nother way. Yeah. That's real.

Well, guys, Andy, that is three. That's it. Go pay the fee. Yes, sir. Love you guys. We're from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl. Fuck a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Love you guys