REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 244. Q&AF: Non-Believers Proof, Wants Vs. Needs & Toxic Skills

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what to do when people don't believe in you even after the proof is there, how to operate a business with a product that people need versus a product people want, and why you shouldn't be concerned with the traits of other people.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af this is where i bring the cues and you bring yet wait hold on this is where you bring the cues who brought the cues the people all right the people bring the cues and i give the afs yeah how about that basically all right let's do the show what's the show we got a fee we do have a fee the fee is very simple if it made you think made you laugh if it gave you some info it's going to help make you better uh if it gave you a new perspective it taught you something please share the show that's what we're uh going for here so

yeah what's up dude yeah you got your trophy there my trophy yeah you're dude that's going right on the mantle i know it is when you get home i mean i think it looks good here does look good there it does i mean it looks pretty good there yeah i'd expect it to be bigger and blacker but this works yeah that's good that was it was it was mediocre it was a mediocre joke all right all. All right. Yeah. So yeah, I got three good ones for you, bro. Yeah. So, so guys, if this is your first time listening, we go back and forth between content.

We go with CTI, which is more current issues. What's going on? Uh, most of the people that listen to that, uh, walk away some sort of pissed off because I tell the truth. Um, then we have Q and AF where I answer your entrepreneurship questions. walk away some sort of pissed off because I tell the truth. Then we have Q&AF where I answer your entrepreneurship questions, your business questions,

your get better questions, your personal development. Life questions. Yeah, your life, whatever, man. And we go back and forth. So that's what we're going to do today. Hell yeah. And guys, if you want to submit your questions, please email them in to askandyatandyforsella.com. And with that being

said, brother, let's knock these out. Question number one for you, Andy. Andy, you talked about the work and the belief, right? And how the belief comes after the work. How do you handle the non-believers, whether they're in your company or in your friend group, that still don't believe in you after the proof has already come? How do you handle those guys? I don't associate with those people. They're irrelevant. I don't care. They're not on my radar.

They don't exist in my mind. When they speak, I don't hear them. When they're in my sight, i don't see them i they're invisible to me yeah like it's that simple people put too much pressure on that yeah much interest on no dude i don't give a fuck what someone thinks of me dude bro why would you well i don't understand the obsession of this like i really don't i really don't understand the fixation that people have on earning the approval of people that don't fucking matter. I think this holds people back more than anything.

Like you're trying to win the opinion of someone who isn't doing anything. They haven't done anything. Anybody who's done something like you're trying to do is going to look at what you've done and respect it, even if they're your competitor. All right. So why are you worried about earning the approval of these people from your past even if they're your competitor. All right. So why are you worried about earning the approval of these people from your past, whether they're your family or your friends or however close they are when they haven't done anything? Like I, I don't care. I don't know how

else to say that. Like, I really don't like, it's like when people argue with me on the internet i have to value your opinion for me to exchange in some sort of dialogue with you like i'm not arguing with someone who lives in a fucking 450 apartment who is on you know or the basement yeah like i'm not house yeah yeah i'm not i'm not fucking arguing that person's not worth my fucking time to argue with like your life is your life my life is my life it speaks for itself i don't care if you fucking like it and if you don't like it i don't it doesn't matter yeah it's just it's irrelevant and like i it's wasted energy dude why do you think people put put so much interest on that then because i think that people don't truly believe in themselves and they don't truly believe that they're good. Even when the evidence is there that they've done

some good things, I think that they still sell themselves short. I think a lot of times people are bullied growing up. They're told they're never going to be anything. They're told they're not good enough. I was told all those fucking things too and um it can be hard to overcome those things you know and i think that even when you do achieve big things there's still people that you want to you you want to notice right but like at the end of the day it really doesn't matter i think it's kind of like you go through a phase like in the beginning you're just kind of working. Then you get to a certain level and you expect this person or these people to somehow approve of you. What they're going to do is they're going to pretend like they don't see you winning. So why do you care? Just pretend you don't see them back. It's going to bother them

worse. And that's just me, dude. I think it's wasted energy. I think people that overly concern themselves with the opinions of others limit their own success. I think that energy should be put into moving forward. I think that anybody I know that wins big does not put... I can't think of a conversation that I've ever had with my entrepreneur successful friends, any of them. I'm trying to think back where I've ever had with my entrepreneur successful friends, any of them, I'm trying to think back, where they've ever talked about someone from the past at all. They just don't care. And you have to let it go, dude. Anytime you step outside the normal of what life is supposed to be, what people are programmed to live like, which is very sad existence, right?

Like get a job, go to work, barely pay your bills, drink some beers, fucking complain about shit and do it over and over and over again and then die. And it's just not a way to live. So like I don't respect that lifestyle. So I don't respect the opinions of people that live that lifestyle and you shouldn't either yeah yeah that's fucking real yeah that's real andy question number two andy you once said that if you saw uh if you if you had a business that sold people what they wanted instead of what they needed you would have been way more successful quicker can you elaborate on that yeah people want cream. They don't want fucking protein shakes. People want alcohol. They don't want fucking healthy fucking brownies. People want fun and comfort and entertainment.

They don't want to get better. It's not their nature to get better. So when you're constantly fighting against the human nature to get better, it's a harder sale, right? Everything I sell for the most part without, with the exception of being in the cannabis space or the alcohol space, all those other things that I'm in, which is most of my business is get people better. And that is something that requires a level of education with the consumer that is not there with these other things.

So there's an extra step in the process when you're selling things to improve people's lives versus selling things to pacify their desires. All right. So that's what I mean when I say that. So if I were, you know, I'm not, I'm not complaining about where I'm at because I could sleep at night and I feel like I'm contributing to people and I know I'm making people better. Is that the cool? It's a huge, it's a huge deal. Yeah.

It's a huge deal. But I think I could have been where I'm at now much faster had I been selling frozen custard or had I been selling fucking pizza or had I been selling, you know, you get what I'm saying? So like, you know,

I'm not complaining about where we're at. I love what we do and it's fucking amazing. And it's turning into something really iconic and special. But I, you know, when you go with what people want versus what they need, it's an easier sale. It just is. The difference is though, developing customer loyalty in that scenario is much more difficult because you're not

running any sort of education process right you're not able to really teach them anything right really no investment from the customer exactly yeah so so your product has to be you know exceptionally exceptionally exceptionally better than everybody else's and a lot of these things are commodities like frozen custard it's a it's a debate who's is the best right everybody's little town has their place and it's the best pizza's the same you know if you ask a dude from new york you ask a person from st louis you ask a person from california what the best pizza is they're all going to say different shit right so you know when when you're when you're in a space of education and you can explain the superior nature of your products consistently

and teach your customers to actually be better there's loyalty that can be built there where it's harder to build there so it's the exchange of of of different types of businesses sure that makes sense yeah you know what i'm saying no that makes perfect sense so like like like um you know if you're selling something that people want every day, right? Coffee. Right. Right? Right.

People want coffee. It's easier to find customers to buy coffee than it is to find customers that want to lose 100 pounds. Right. Because most people that want to lose 100 pounds don't even want to lose 100 pounds. They want to go eat pizza. Right. They need to lose 100 pounds.

And that's a different kind of conversation. Would you say the loyalty, because you look at a brand starbucks right like that's it has an extremely loyal base would you equip like is that loyalty the same as the loyalty that you have with your customers at 1p no i don't think so i think that i think starbucks just does a better job uh on a wide scale than most of the competitors that they have you know when you walk into a starbucks it has a feel um it has a very distinct smell has a very distinct a very distinct everything like you know you're in a fucking starbucks and it's an experience and um their experience now i don't drink coffee so like i'm i don't want to piss anybody off who has coffee stores okay yeah i'm sure there's much better coffee shops and i'm

sure they're way better but i'm saying on a mass scale they do it the best right so that's what that's about yeah i love it you know i think you know um there's other companies that are making that are making a lot of headway right like there's black rifle coffee who are starting to open stores and locations and they're a patriotic pro-america brand and i think the more that they open those stores the more they're going to take a fucking bite out of starbucks ass yeah because people are tired of the woke shit we can yell that starbucks i'm fucking listen bro there's plenty of people that go to starbucks every day that hate that they go to starbucks every day yeah because of their their politics yeah yeah right that's real so yeah that's awesome andy our third and final question for you uh this one might be a uh

i'll be a little more a little deeper for you but i'd like to see your your answer on this andy what is a skill okay that you personally deem as toxic that other people see as good i don't know like what like a skill yeah a skill or a trait. Like other people are like, oh man, I fucking love Steve does this. And you're looking like, eh. Well, I don't know, dude. Like, you know, I think toxic is kind of a weak ass fucking word. I think it's overused. I think people that use it are weak.

I think it's a buzz term that people use for shit they don't like. You know what I'm saying? I just think it's like, I think it's bullshit. Like if you don't like something, move on. You know what i'm saying i just think it's like i think it's bullshit like if you don't like something move on you know what i'm saying it's that simple and i i feel like everything is now you know if you don't like it it's toxic if you fight with your boyfriend they're toxic if you fight with your girlfriend you're toxic motherfucker fighting is a normal part of any relationship yeah stupid ass like i just dude honestly no filter real talk people are pussies that's it and and it's top to bottom it's left to right it's across the board we've been fed shitty food we've been given stupid entertainment we've been in program with fucking mediocrity for the last 20 years we've

been told it's okay to be fat we've been told it's okay to be lazy it's okay to be whatever the fuck you are and then people make up these things that they are you know it's it's fucking bullshit the whole toxic the whole social construct that they've been feeding us for 20 years now 25 years see see i'm old enough to know what it was like before that that's the difference a lot of these people listening they don't they this is all they've known they don't know what it was like to grow up you know beating the shit out of each other, all even into adulthood and then shaking hands and having a beer afterwards. Right.

They don't understand that concept. And our society is now, you know, it's like we talked about with fucking Rob and Dakota. It's professional victimhood all the time, you know, and I've talked about this for years and years and years. People compete over how big a victim they can be. They use words like toxic. They, they, they, they fucking throw these buzzwords around when in reality, dude, not everybody's going to be for you. Not everything is going to be for you. How about you just identify what the fuck is and isn't for you and move the fuck on, you know, and stop making it about toxic trauma, this and that.

Like, bro, people are just soft and that's it, you know, and that's coming from someone who's had real fucking trauma. OK, now you motherfuckers out there listening. I stabbed in the fucking face. OK, like you never had that. Right. Like and most of the people that had that were fucking. Would have folded just that would have folded. They would have used their whole life.

Oh, yeah, it was going to be great until I got stabbed in the face. The real trick is making the shit that fucking happens to you work in your favor. That's the trick. God gives us all these hardships to overcome to be part of our fucking story so that we can inspire other people to win too. And when you subscribe to the professional victimhood that everybody subscribes to these days, not only are you hurting yourself, you're hurting everybody around you. You're hurting your kids. You're hurting your potential in life.

You're hurting your family. You're hurting your friends. You're hurting your neighbors because what they see is just another example of someone who got dealt a bad hand that has decided to fucking fold. And that makes them think that it's okay. And it spreads. It's like fucking cancer. And until we in America stop being fucking soft ass little delicate pussies, we're going to continue to fucking fail. And that's it. So I don't really, I don't really

know. Like I don't look at other people and say, oh, that skill is very toxic. I look at people who have asked questions like that and think you're a fucking pussy. So that's my answer. And whoever wrote it ain't going to like it. It's just the truth. Why are you worried about somebody's toxicity skill? Bro, I get told my beard is toxic. I get told my voice is toxic.

I get told I'm toxic you know what fuck off with that go surround yourself with people who lose i win consistently and fucking almost everything i do in fact the only reason i say almost is because i'm maybe forgetting something but all i could think about in my life are fucking wins that's all i think about i think about fucking winning and doing better and making a better impact and i don't care if someone's got quote-unquote toxic traits like i just don't fuck with those people yeah like what the fuck are people even worried about like you guys don't even worry listen here's the truth night i always say eight percent of people entrepreneurs one percent are successful um i think over the next 20 years that one percent is going to turn into 1,100th of that 1%.

Because what I see in the youth right now is a bunch of weak ass pussy shit. And I can tell you right now, you just don't have what the fuck it takes to make it. You better get tough. You better develop some grit. You better develop thick skin. You better be able to take a fucking insult. You better be able to handle people coming at you every motherfucking day, calling you names. You better be able to dedicate uh be able to handle whole instagram pages with accounts of tens of thousands of followers that fucking hate you i deal with that every day okay you motherfuckers can't handle someone calling you a fucking toxic so think about that that's real i know it's fucking real That's real Yeah Well guys Andy that is three

So go pay the fee Yeah Do that