REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 25. Mental Toughness Is Not Optional

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Strong leaders don't give in during times of situational crisis...they use their mental toughness to execute at their best, crisis or no crisis. In today's episode, Andy explains how you can avoid becoming the person who panics during uncertain times and executes beyond your true potential.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What up? What's up, guys? This is Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And right now, there's a ton of them. And welcome to motherfucking reality

guys i have a whole lot i want to talk about today it's going to be a very uh important show before i get to the important part of the show i'm going to get to the most important part of the show which is the housekeeping section the housekeeping section. The housekeeping section is where I remind you that we are here to serve and we grow our show completely off of your word of mouth and your shares and your subscriptions and your reviews. Unlike a lot of other podcasts out there, we do not run 20 minutes of ads before you get into the content, nor do we run any ads. All we ask is that you pay the fee and grow the show. All right, that's it. So if you haven't subscribed, please subscribe.

If you haven't left us a review, please leave us a review. If you haven't told your friends about it, please tell them about it. This is how we it. This is how we grow. This is how we get our message out. A lot of you guys are messaging me consistently and saying, hey man, I love your message. I love what you guys do. You're breaking down barriers. You're making things how we feel they should be again. And more people need to hear this. Well, if more people need to hear this, then I ask that you share it because I can't make more people need to hear this. Well, if more people need to hear this, then I ask that you share it. Because I can't make more people hear it.

I need you to do it for us. So, that's the fee. If you could pay the fee. And that goes for every show, guys. If you like an episode, I ask that you leave a review. Or that you tell people about it or subscribe. Do that for the episodes. Not the whole one time ever. Dude, we pour a lot into this man these guys they have full-time jobs just to

produce this show and uh you know we want to get the message out there so you guys are been amazing about this and so i'm not like trying to say you aren't doing a good job i'm just asking let's step it up a little bit you know right now we're in a time of uncertainty where people need some leadership and they also need some laughs and they need some things to think about other than this fucking coronavirus. Let's be honest. So do us a solid, share the show.

Anyway, that was housekeeping. Now for the main event. Guys, the truth is, you know, I haven't said much on social media recently because I'm pouring more into the podcast. I've realized that I enjoy doing this. I enjoy doing the podcast because it allows me to say what I want to say in just a more transparent, unfiltered manner and with more context. And so I've been very quiet on social media other than me pointing out exactly what was happening on literally the very first

day this was happening. And I was right. What I said would happen has happened. And I'm going to remind everybody of that until the day I die because I got blasted pretty hard for it. But that's neither here nor there. What I'm getting at is that, you know, I've been thinking. For the last 10 or 12 years, we've had a pretty stable situation in America for sure and sometimes the world. And if you're old enough and not all of you are, you can remember other things that have happened before. And the 2008 economic crash. You know, if you're a little older than 1980s inflation, if you're a little older than that, like Vaughn, you probably remember the 1970s energy crisis, right? We've

been through a lot as a country, okay? But not recently, not the last 10 or 12 years. We've had it pretty good. And that's showing in how people are reacting to this whole scenario of this virus and this pandemic. And to be honest, it's pretty disappointing from my point of view. And so I want to get into that and talk about something that's related to that topic. You know, the self-development narrative for the last decade or so, which you hear me sarcastically criticize a lot, has said the same things over and over again. I feel like it's like the people who don't have shit to say are just saying the same shit that other people are saying. They're telling you to meditate.

They're saying, be kind. They're giving you these positive sayings that, you know, if you really break them down, they're meaningless. Okay. And there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think being positive is wrong. If it's what you enjoy and the content you like to consume, perfect. But getting through hard times like this takes more than that, a lot more. It requires mental toughness, which isn't popular to talk about because some people think that if you are to have mental toughness, it means that you're cold. It means that you're calloused. It means that, you know, you're not a nice person. It doesn't come across as something that people aspire to be because they feel like

they have to trade their goodness to become tough. And you don't. okay? Mother Teresa was one of the toughest people on the planet. Jesus is one of the toughest people that ever lived, all right? And you have to start thinking about mental toughness like that. It doesn't mean you're sacrificing your goodness to become some hardened, cynical, or uncaring human. goodness to become some hardened cynical or uncaring human it means you keep it real and you do the right thing no matter what it is that you said you're going to do and on top of doing the right thing it means that you follow through on what you say you're going to do regardless of what the circumstances are right now we have this virus and we have all these

reasons to not do anything. We're being told to stay home. We're being told by the media, as I addressed in a previous episode, to recover and heal and don't get too ambitious during this time because that could really fuck you up, right? That's the world that we live in. But guys, I would like you to consider something. I would like you to consider this. Being mentally tough, becoming mentally tough is not optional to you having a successful, a happy, and a fulfilling life. There are constantly going to be things that come across your presence and your perspective that are going to literally fuck up your entire world. And if you can't handle those things, you are going to live a life of ups and downs and chaos and feel completely out of control all the time. Mental toughness is not optional.

And this crisis has brought this to the forefront. We can show you right now why mentally tough people are excelling and why not only are they excelling, but why it's the right thing to do. All right. People around you, they desperately need you to step up and be a leader. Your family, your coworkers, your bosses, even the people above and below you are hungry for leadership. Okay? Right now, we live in a world where everybody plays business. That means they go out, they get a business card, they get a title, they want to be a CEO.

And, you know, when things are good, that's fine. You can play business. But the truth is, is that in a crisis, in times of uncertainty, in times of pain, in times of frustration, in times of anger are the times that you literally prove whether you're an actual CEO or whether you're a fucking clown. That's the truth. If you only lead during good times, you're essentially a worthless leader. Leadership is much more important in times like this than it is when times are good. All right. And this positivity that the people need right now is not the sweet, syrupy, fluffy, Care Bear positivity.

It's the strong positivity. It's the tough positivity. Okay. One of the things about this crisis that's so great is that it's waking people up that life is not a playground. It is not this idealistic playhouse that we all live in. It's a fucking battleground. And if you don't have a mentally tough perspective about going to battle every single day and winning these little wars that are your days, you are going to have trouble dealing with crisis situations. All right. situations all right leadership has to be strong leadership is the right thing leadership is what we need and leadership is not you are enough that's not what it is okay you're not going to inspire anybody with self-care bath bombs and fucking positive affirmations in the morning. Positivity is a great thing, but right now in times of frustration,

in times of stress, you have to show people through your actions what it looks like to be gritty and self-reliant and someone who takes care of business no matter what the fuck is going on, okay? You've got to show some confidence. You've got to show some confidence. You've got to show some swag. You've got to show that you are a fucking badass. Who's not going to let situations crumble you. And by doing so, you now have a scenario where other people are looking to

you and they're feeling hopeful. All right. People right now, I've heard it. They're talking about Trump and they're saying oh well you know he hasn't been empathetic enough is that really what the fuck you want like are we being real do you really want someone up there who's crying and saying oh I'm I'm so upset about this whole scenario this is fucking terrible or do you want someone that says hey you know what this fucking sucks but. But you know, we got this. We have a plan. We're going to execute the plan.

We're Americans. Fuck the virus and fuck anybody else who stands in the way of us getting better. We're going to do our business and we're going to. What do you want? OK, what do you want? Because I'm going to tell you all day I want the fucking second guy. I want the guy who's going to stand up and say, hey, motherfuckers, we're going to fucking push through this.

That's what you want too. You may not like Trump. You may not like whatever's going on, but you will like good leadership. And being a good leader is reinforcing things in times of crisis and saying, hey, motherfuckers, we're going to push through. And we're not going to push through with feel good bullshit. We're going to push through with our elbow grease, our grit, our determination, our toughness, and we're going to make this shit happen.

That's the kind of leadership that's needed in crisis, not this coddling fucking poor me shit that we're seeing everywhere. Mental toughness is needed to impose a sense of order and certainty that the society needs. And not just society as in everybody, your fucking society, your community. This crisis has no doubt created a lot of chaos for a lot of people. And when chaos hits, average people panic. Average people want a greater sense of order and certainty. They want a greater sense of security. That's why people right now are susceptible to governments becoming tyrannical. And we hear this all on the news right now. People are talking about how the government's overstepping their bounds, how people shouldn't be forced to do X, Y, and Z. And you know what? The constitution of America backs those complaints. It just does. But the reason this is happening is because people want certainty and security so fucking bad, and they're not willing to step up with the toughness they need to provide the sense of order and certainty that we should have in our

communities and in our direct ecosystems. That's our job. That's the job of the people. It's the job of each and every one of us to become mentally tough. That doesn't mean you were born mentally tough. That means you can become mentally tough. And it's our job to take control of our lives and show the next generation and the people that are coming behind us what grit and confidence and perseverance looks like through our actions, not a bunch of whiny cry, fear and panicking bullshit. We are failing and upholding our obligation to the people that look at us right now as a society. That's a fact. All right. If you want to look at every leader through the history of time, every fucking leader, every King, every queen, queen every president every general every famous movement

every single thing all of them all of them from trump to jesus from fucking hitler to fucking mother theresa all of them no matter what their causes are we can argue the causes all day, no matter what their causes are. They aren't passive. They take control. This is how things happen. And it's our job to make the right things happen. You want to help stop the spread of the panic? Stop quoting self-care memes and step the fuck up and do everything that you need to do. Stop sitting there and waiting for someone to come fix your problem. Stop sitting there complaining about shit that you can't do anything about and start working on developing and becoming someone who can handle crisis and set an example for the people that are going to come after you. And I know this

is a hard concept to understand because all of us think, fuck, people look at me as a fucking leader. That's kind of weird. We all feel that way. But the truth is you all lead people, all of you. You might lead one person or you might lead a hundred people or you might lead thousands of people, but you all have influence. And by succumbing to this weak mentality of the sheep herd, you are failing your obligation to the people that look up to you. Ultimately, guys, mental toughness during this time means winning every single day of this pandemic. It means that what you do during this quarantine is exactly what you would do any other normal day of your life.

While everyone else is panicking, you have to stay productive while there's chaos all around you. You still have to uphold your obligation to yourself and your family and everybody else that depends on you, including the goals you set for yourself. You still have to wake up every day and think about what kind of life do you want? What goals do you set for yourself? What goals do you have for your family? What goals do you have for your family? What goals do you have for your career? Lots of people have let themselves off the hook right now because they don't have to go into work.

So are you like this or are you one of the people who's still taking the time to dream and think and visualize and focus every single day. It's a rhetorical question. I want you to think about it. You have to still wake up every day and cultivate a sense of gratitude. You think this crisis means you don't have things to be thankful for? You're stuck at home, but guess what? At least you have a fucking home. Most of you aren't totally alone. You got people in your house. You have more time on your hands.

That's a fucking gift. You need to continue to create positive energy during this crisis through your actions, and you do that by exercising your gratitude every single day, just as if it were a normal day. That's going to help build your mental toughness. You still have to identify the critical tasks that are going to move you forward on these visualizations and goals. Okay. The key to success doesn't change just because we're in a fucking crisis. Completing critical tasks leads to the happiness, the fulfillment, and the success

that's going to contribute to your confidence, which is going to help you become more mentally tough. I've told you guys about the power list literally for years. It's episode 107 of the MFCEO project. It's in this feed. Go back and listen to it and listen to how to use it specifically. Don't become like one of these people who hears half of it and does it half-assed and then, you know, wonders why it doesn't work.

You got to do it exactly as it says. Don't let your ego take control of your fucking actions and start thinking that you're even in a place to customize a tool like this. Okay? Do it as it says, and you're going to start to see the benefits. All right? So why is this so important to think about right now? Why is it important to cultivate mental toughness during this pandemic? It's because ultimately, guys, it's what's going to bring this situation to a point where it's not only better for you, but it actually has made you happier. The reality is people set goals and dreams when things are good, when things are pleasant, when everything's okay. That's when people do all these

things we're talking about. But when things get hard and scary, they fucking throw that shit out the window and start thinking about what's on Fox news or CNN. And when they do this, they fucking throw that shit out the window and start thinking about what's on Fox News or CNN. And when they do this, they realize they were actually lying to themselves in the first place because their actions are not backing up the promises they made to themselves. So then they lose self-respect, they lose self-esteem, they lose momentum, they lose confidence, they lose belief in themselves. And you can't be happy when you don't believe in yourself, when you don't respect yourself. This pandemic is the perfect time to prove when you make promises to yourself, you keep them no matter what.

It's the perfect time to say, I'm not going to let any of this unforeseen bullshit factors derail my goals and dreams. I'm going to continue to work and I'm going to follow through on what I want. And when you do that, you begin to create the framework of mental toughness. You create grit, you create fortitude, you create determination, you create self-belief. You create confidence. And what that ultimately does, guys, is it makes you feel like a fucking badass. And guess what happens? You earn happiness. You earn fulfillment as a result of keeping the promises you make to yourself. If you can learn this and you can be happy during this coronavirus pandemic, you can find happiness at any time in your life. And that's something I think that you guys should all stop and really think about. How much of your life, how much of

your happiness, how much of your fulfillment is dictated by circumstantial situations that you have zero control over. Listen, I know that most of us weren't ready for a crisis like this, but the truth is nobody could have expected it. And anybody who says they expected it, they're probably in on selling the motherfucking vaccine. Okay, let's be real. But when you actively cultivate mental toughness in life, it prepares you for these ups and downs, the good times and the bad. Okay, you need to use this time to go hard after mental toughness. If you do that on some level, you'll be ready for anything the rest of your life. You guys should be looking at this just like you would look at your career, just like you would

look at your spirituality, just like you would look at your fitness. You should look at your mental toughness the same and dedicate time every day to build this quality that is going to fulfill you and create situations for you to actually be happy, whether life is clear and fucking blue skies and clear sailing, or there's a fucking hurricane going on in society. Everywhere you look, it shouldn't matter. Your happiness, your discipline, your mental toughness is dependent on you and what you do and how you keep your word to yourself. Practice that on a daily basis and you're going to see your life improve in many, many different ways.

All right. This crisis, guys, it's a fucking test, man. It is a huge test. There is a bunch of people out there right now that are going to look back at this crisis and say fuck you know what my life was going great I had everything going and then the coronavirus came along and it just ruined my life okay that's going to be a lot of people okay so you're going to be one of those people you're going to be a lot of people. Okay. So are you going to be one of those people? Are you going to be one of those people who's passive? One of those people who gives into the circumstantial forces around you and just molds and bends their life to fit that circumstance? Or

are you going to be one of the people who is active, who's aggressive, who takes control, who does what they can do and what they have to do to set a great example, not just for themselves, but for their families, their friends, their communities, their employees, their bosses, and literally everybody that has a 360 connection to you. Okay. Those are your choices. And I'm going to tell you right now, if you're the kind of person who can stop right now and say fuck my life is a shit show but what I'm going to do is I'm going to control the things I can control I'm going to control my diet I'm going to control what I can drink I'm going to control my workouts I'm going to control what I do on a daily basis and what I read, what I put in my

brain. And you start developing these, these mentalities about how to function properly in a progressive way while the rest of the world is in chaos. Let me tell you something. You're going to become the most bulletproof motherfucker on the face of the fucking planet because no one will ever be able to fuck with you again because it doesn't matter what's going on outside of your brain outside of your body you're in control and that guys is peace of mind that is where happiness comes from that is where fulfillment comes from That is where infectious confidence comes from. Those are things you want.

Those are things that will exponentially benefit your life. So if you're not working on them right now, start.