REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 251. Q&AF: Grateful But Ambitious, Value Of Spirituality & Employee To Leader

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to balance being grateful for what you have while staying ambitious, how much value there is in spirituality & religion when pursuing your goals, and when it's the right time to put an employee into a leadership position.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusionsusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. This is where you bring the Qs and I bring the AFs. How can they submit their Qs, Mr. DJ? Oh, thanks, Mr. Andy. You can submit your questions, email them in to askandy at andyfasala.com. All right. your questions email them in to ask andy at andyfasala.com all right also before we start answering these cues there's a fee for the show the fee is not monetary i'm not going to ask for

your credit card number i'm not going to ask you to send me any fucking money cash out uh yeah i will ask you to cash out me some shit dj you give him that. Thank you. You just cash at DJ. You owe me a couple of dinners, I think. I got you. Yeah. But the fee is very simple, guys. If you learn something, if it makes your life better, if it teaches you something, which I hope this will, please share the show. Okay?

Yeah. That's the fee. Lots and lots of Qs. Lots and lots of cues, lots and lots of cues. I got, yeah. The questions can be about pretty much anything. We got a little diversity going on in these questions today. So I'm excited. Well, here, look, dude, just so if this is your first couple of times listening,

you guys have to understand, okay. My podcast, the MFCO project is the number one entrepreneur podcast that was ever fucking produced ever. All right? I switched that show to talk about the real shit going on in the world and renamed the show Real AF. So I could talk more about society and current events because society and current events dictate how well we can be entrepreneurs, right? Especially the concept of freedom. So when you hear us talk about on the show,

you're going to hear CTIs, which is Cruise the Internet. You're going to hear Q&AS, which is more personal development based. We're going to have interviews with all kinds of people sometimes. Those people might be ultra successful business people. It might be people who served or won the Medal of honor or killed Osama bin Laden or who

fucking knows. Yeah. Okay. Um, or it might just be a real talk where I get on here and talk some real stuff for you guys. So there's a little bit of everything here. Um,

if you're a diehard, I only hear for the entrepreneurship stuff. Uh, you're probably going to want to listen to all the shows except cti right okay uh or you could join arate which is ed my latinized private group we opened up enrollment a couple times a year um and it's all entrepreneurship based so that's kind of how we're running things these days for a little little catch you up on what the fuck's going on yeah so but today in this news hour yeah no shit q a yeah today it's q a all right af so we got any

good ones today yeah i think we got some good ones brother got some good ones for you let's knock these out andy question number one okay can you explain the difference between being satisfied and grateful for what you have while still also having an unquenchable thirst for more, right? Can you explain this to the average person? Because I feel like it would be almost impossible to be both. Look, there's two different kinds of people. There's multiple different kinds of people on this planet, okay? What you're asking me to do is to provide an answer that suits all these kinds of people, and there just isn't one, all right?

There are going to be people, and this is okay, that are comfortable going to work. Let's just say they're cooking French fries, okay? And they're going to be cool with that job their whole life. Yeah, the nine to five. Yeah, and dude, there's nothing cool with that job their whole life yeah the nine to five yeah and dude there's nothing wrong with that okay that is okay you you freedom in america means that's okay and by the way we need those people to operate society so we should never shit on people that don't have the same drive or the same goals or the same hunger that we have. Okay. Now, as someone who listens to the show, I already know that you're a driven human and see what you're trying to do is you're trying to understand why not everybody is driven

and this will drive you insane. Trust me. All right. People that listen to this show are in the top 1% of hungry, ambitious, success-driven people. And most of the people that listen to this show listen to the show because they feel very alone in real life because most people are not wired that way. And I spent most of my life feeling like I was wrong, feeling like I was not normal, feeling like I was an outlier. Yeah, just wired the wrong way. And that's not the case.

All great people that change the world, that provide for other people, that create the jobs, that create the careers, that create change in the world in any way, whether it be in the environment, whether it be in business, whether it be this or that or this, these are driven, hungry people and they fall in that 1%. Okay. So you have to realize that you've been given a gift. You've been given a gift of being in that 1% and your job is not to try to understand the other 99%. Your job is to execute the best that you can and to not go crazy doing it. And that's where balancing out being ambitious and being someone who's hungry, someone who wants to create, someone who wants more, someone who wants to maximize their own potential here on this planet and beyond.

Okay. And someone who's grateful for where they are and understands that like, dude, even though things are really hard, it could be a lot worse. Right. Right. Right. And when you can balance those two things, they allow you to navigate the ambitious process a lot better because you don't always feel like you're behind and you don't always feel like you're missing things and you don't always feel like you're losing, right? So you have to split your time between driving forward and also understanding how much you've accomplished and understanding that what you're accomplishing is important and you're grateful to have the opportunity. Most of you are healthy.

Most of you are able-bodied. Most of you have all these things that other people, most of you live in America. Right. Okay. There's all these things to be grateful for. And sometimes when you're ambitious and hungry, you lose sight of these things and that creates a very miserable existence. All right. So that's where the balance comes into play, but I wouldn't worry too much about trying to balance it out with like, explain it to every average person because dude

that's just wasted breath the best thing you can do if you want people to be better because where that comes from is somebody who wants better for their friends and family right yeah so so the best way that you can provide better for your friends and family is to become so successful yourself that you can literally pull them along that's what i found yeah so fucking love it yeah but don't waste your time trying to rationalize or figure out things that just are right like we could sit here and analyze all day long why gravity is what's why why is gravity yeah why why why when we when we step off the edge of the building do we go splat right we can sit here and talk about why and all it is or we could just say that's the way it is

and accept it yeah and then move on to something where our energy and thoughts are productive does it make sense that's fucking awesome love it andy question number two for you okay how how important or i should say how much value, okay. Do you hold, um, on spirituality or, or being religious? How, how important are those two things? I don't believe in organized religion. I believe the relationship between God and the individual is a relationship between God and the individual. And I know a lot of people that listen to the show are conservative beliefs and they go to church and they do all these things and i i i do not i think everybody's got their own thing that works for them i do not judge that i think it's i think it's a great thing it's better than

definitely not doing anything right and being an immoral puddle of shit like our entire government is let's be real okay um but it's just not what i believe i believe uh that there is a there is a direct connection between you and god and the universe and i believe it's all intertwined i believe energy is all intertwined and i truly believe that what you see for yourself and what you're willing to act upon and what you're willing to intentionally believe will be delivered to you. And I think that relationship of, and I went to Catholic school for a long time. I went and did, I just found that it was very empty. I found that I didn't really get anything out of it. I found that I found myself as a, as a, you know, somewhat intelligent human looking at

people who were preaching to me and thinking, well, you don't know what, how do you know about marriage when you've never been married? How do you know about raising kids when you've never raised kids? How do you know about sexuality when you're abstinent? Right. You know? And so I have a very hard time. I don't know if it's good or bad, but I have this thing where I always question if someone's

a hypocrite or not, like when they're trying to teach me shit. And I don't learn from people who are like that. I just can't. Once you write them off as- Yes. I can't overcome that personally. And, and besides I have so much evidence to support the way I believe, um, that you couldn't convince me otherwise.

So, so my view is, is yes, I'm, I'm spiritual. Yes. I pray every single day. Uh, I try to pray every single day. Sometimes I forget and I feel bad about it, right? I don't know anybody that's blessed more than me. So I feel really ungrateful when I don't do those things. You know, I constantly try to do the right thing.

I constantly try to live by the golden rule. I try to do what I would think God would be proud of me for. And sometimes I fail at that. You know what I mean? And so I have a very honest personal relationship that I believe is the way I operate. And I'm not here to judge the way anybody else operates. But I would say, even if you are a religious person, that it's important for you not to be one of these people

who just goes to church every Sunday to try to wipe away all their wrongdoings and then goes right back to it the minute they leave church. And I find that a lot of people that go to church see it that way. You know, they go to church and then on the way out of the church parking lot,

they're giving somebody the finger. Right. Right? Or they're driving somebody, they're driving past somebody who who has a flat tire right or you know what i'm saying like homeless person yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of hypocrisy in people that i see in organized uh service and i i think that you know everybody would be better our our entire culture our entire world

would be better if everybody instead of passing the buck off to like i'm washing away my sins by going to to this place once a week right um but instead understood directly that god is watching every fucking movie you make and and you should act accordingly that's how i i try to that's how i try to live yeah well no 100 percent yeah and dude i'm not perfect i do fucked up shit like i make mistakes i do things that aren't right and i i try to that's how i try to live yeah well no 100 percent dude yeah and dude i'm not perfect i do fucked up shit like i make mistakes i do things that aren't right and i i try to fix those things and i try to be better and i think that's part of being a human right i think part of being a human is being honest about your imperfections and then working to uh be a better one yeah you hit the nail on the head i remember i was told a while ago uh just you got to have a moral

compass yeah you know i'm saying like whether you want to live that you gotta live it like if you want to pray to a fucking toaster cool if that toaster is making you a better person cool but i i don't understand people who walk around with no moral compass and like you said i mean it's evident who those people are right now you know and that's well we got a president united states that goes to service on ash wednesday who does all kinds of immoral shit exactly all right so let's be real i'm not with that kind of that kind of hypocrisy it's not theater it's not theater to me yeah it's real you know what i mean like i think for a lot of people it's theater i go to church i'm a good person i'm this just because you go to church doesn't mean you're a good person bro

right you know i'm saying like it's about living it the best that you can and what happens monday through fucking saturday i i think i i think that's the majority of it yeah that's fucking awesome so andy our third and final question for you uh speaking on just making people better when do you know it's the right time for an employee to step up to that leadership position like when when does andy give the blessing on that person and say okay you're right it's a good question that's a good question there's nuance to that that means uh there's going to be some instances that aren't consistent with other instances and it's sort of an art uh but here's what i will tell you i used to wait until I truly believe this per the person who was stepping up into

the leadership, uh, had every single skill. And whenever I was like that, no one ever got promoted. Right. Uh, and so it held my business back. Right. And then what I found out is those people would get frustrated because what, what you have to understand is that most people on your team they want they want to be valuable they want to contribute to the win i mean who doesn't want to score a touchdown pass or a touchdown in the super bowl right right that doesn't mean you have to be the mvp but they want to do some shit yeah and so it took me a long time to figure that out made a lot of mistakes um i think my biggest regret as a business owner is like, I think back at some of the good leaders that I've had that have maybe moved on to other places

because I held them back, not understanding that they were ready for that. And I'm talking like 10 years ago. Yeah. Now I do it the opposite. Like when I see someone who's like 50% ready to lead, I fucking throw them the fuck in there. Right. And then I accept that the mistakes they make are going to be uh part of their education

process as long as they aren't fatal right yeah um and i feel like that works better because people surprise you um people step up when they know that they're dependent on Um, they will go home and invest more and take their shit serious more serious with more responsibility Um, so I think you know, it's an evolution and you as an entrepreneur are going to go through this You're going to go through this period where when it's just you and then it's you and maybe like another person and then maybe It's you and like four other people And you're probably going to be in that scenario for quite a while and to get out of that scenario you have to cross that bridge of trusting people to step up and lead and really what this is is this is the squelching

of your own ego right like as the the owner of the business or the ceo or whatever you want to call yourself yeah we tend to think we're the smartest motherfuckers because we're the ones that started the business, but it really doesn't take much to go file some paperwork, start a fucking business. Right. Um, so you had a good idea. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But the goal as an effective CEO is to surround yourself with people that are better than you and smarter than you and more capable than you. And a lot of people can't do that because they're afraid that if, you that if you surround yourself with people who are much better than you, somehow that makes you worth less. And I'm going to tell you, what it does is it makes you worth a whole fucking lot

more in the bank. So what you want to do is you want to cross that bridge as soon as you can and start to understand that people... Because I think what holds people back besides ego too, is that they just think that people don't care, right? And they may not care as much as you, but fuck dude, they got to feed their family. They got to pay for their bills. They want to win too. That's a good point. So give them an opportunity to win their asses on the line, just like you, you know, and that's how I look at it now. And since I've adjusted that, and I've watched my brother go through this too. My brother, he just told this story on Monday at the Monday meeting.

Every leader goes through this where they go from thinking they're the only one capable to teaching the team to then holding the team back because the other people have become capable and their ego is sort of in the way or they're uh they're not understanding they're not trusting their people enough right right right and once you cross over that bridge you kind of realize oh shit like i was kind of my own worst enemy that was a terrible fucking yeah yeah yeah and so what happens is other people step up and they become, um, even better than what they were because, and, and they become even more dedicated to, to the mission because they realized that you trusted them just like they trust you by even coming to work for you. That's real. So that's

how I see it now. And, and, you know, that's 23 years of me going through that process. I fucked it up pretty bad lots of times. Um, and I think I've got it figured out to this point now. So that's what I would say. I would say you got, well, I mean, dude, you can only build so much with you in a small group. Yeah. So you really don't have a choice if you've got big goals. Now, if you want to be a small business and this and that, that's a different thing. But I would warn you that if you're not growing you're dying and if your people aren't seeing you try to grow they're going to quit on you and you're going to constantly be recycling through skilled people over and over and over again the best policy i've found is shoot for the fucking stars bro and just keep going yeah you know what i mean and it keeps it way more fun that's fucking awesome

guys andy that's three that's three guys tell them dj go pay the fee all right we're from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bankroll can't fold that's a no headshot case closed