REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 253. Q&AF: Mortal Enemies, Contributing To America & Bouncing Back

Episode Date: March 13, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on getting even with your mortal enemies, what the younger generation can learn from the older generation regarding what's happening right now in America, and how to bounce back from a series of unfortunate events.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla, this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusionsusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af this is where uh you bring the q's and i bring the afs all right there's a fee for the show the fee is very simple show the show uh yeah that's the fee or you could send me money yeah cash out Anyway, where do they submit questions for these shows? Guys, as always, you can email your questions in to askandy at andyfrasella.com. Yeah, and as always, too, if you want straight entrepreneur content, you can always look at RTA Syndicate. That's where we do that.

I do it with Ed Milet, one of the best entrepreneurs out there that I've ever met. Yeah, and that's that. So let's do a do a little q and a f let's knock it out no shit i had a sneeze coming fuck all right question number one i got a question yeah what's oh okay we're getting spicy here how how how can you think that you're stealing all the good girl scout cookies and you didn't even take a box of Samoas? That's the first question of the show. That's the first question. Did you not see my story last night? Oh, bro.

I fucking catch this dude packing his box. Allegedly. Allegedly. No, not allegedly. I catch this dude packing his security uh, his, his security bag. Four full boxes of fucking cookies in it. And then as I'm pulling the cookies out, the first thing was there was no fucking Samoas at all. It was like all the worst cookies with the exception of Thin Mints.

Cause Thin Mints are good. Thin Mints are good. And then it was like, you know, I don't even know what the other ones are called because they're such trash. Samoas are iconic. It's only Samoas and Thin Mints. The rest are junk. I have an explanation.

Hold on. But then as I'm pulling the boxes out, he's saying, they're not for me. They're for Ryan. They're not for me. They're for Ryan. Hold on. Hold on. I get to the last box

The motherfucker's half eaten And then he says He wants to talk to his lawyer Listen Listen Allegedly Alright I gotta

I don't know if I'm I have an explanation here bro Why I didn't get the Samoas It's fucking Russia's fault No Ryan doesn't like Samoas No Ryan doesn't like samoa no ryan doesn't like samoa bro that is a damn lie everybody knows that samoas are the best girls copping

see i think that's debatable man that's that's that's no that's iconic yes damn joe there's no debate bro bro Either you're fat or you're fat No that's why I think DJ's fake fat He ain't real fat bro Me and you are real fat Cause we know the fucking good shit to eat There's only two good ones You're a fucking fat poser

Fucking poser Yeah you're a fucking poser Hey man You're posing Samo's just ain't my thing bro like they're not terrible oh now you switch your story huh peer pressure is that how you work no no i stand on my shit ryan doesn't like works i stand maybe those people that say you disagree with me to agree with me or telling truth no one percent all right on with the show yeah i got some Tell them the truth. No, 1%. All right. On with the show. Yeah, I got some good ones for you.

Okay, you do? Yeah. All right. Let's hear them. Andy, question number one. Okay. How do you treat your mortal enemies? I have guys that I just want to fucking nuke.

How do I do it? By being better. By being the best that you can look dude this is where people really screw up like people really screw up when it comes to this like first of all um every bit of energy that you spend thinking about this enemy of yours is a unit of energy that you're not spending on getting better okay so what i would recommend is instead of trying to emotionally expend energy on hating people that are competing with you or whatever it is because it always comes from competition i would i would adjust to this mindset as quickly as possible because this is i understand that like dude i'm a competitive guy i want to squash motherfuckers i want to

step on people's throats i want to be the best okay kill kill kill yeah and i don't want any motherfuckers to to like if i'm being real i don't want them to have fucking anything right um that's my competitive inner talk right but it's not realistic okay and it's not healthy to really focus on that all the time and so what i found as a competitive individual the way to work with these feelings and this competitive nature is to not turn it into hate for other people. Um, because I think that, and I talk about this a lot, right? That tells the universe that you don't like winning. You know, when you see your competitors win and you see people doing big things that tells the universe that you don't like that shit. And that makes it harder for you to get to that point, to have those things delivered to you. And there is an aspect of that. I don't care what anybody says. Now, how I have adjusted when

I was younger, that's how I thought, right? I would spend a lot of time analyzing everything that everybody else does. And I still do that. I still observe them, but I do it without emotion. And I do it to see, okay, is this going to work? Is that going to work? Are they making the right moves or do I think they're making the wrong moves or how would I do it differently? And so I try to use my competitors as a whiteboard of learning different paths, if that makes sense. So I, I put myself in their shoes. I critique what they're doing as if it were my company. And then I try to learn the lessons from them and put them into my tool belt. It's free lessons. Absolutely. And so, uh, what I do now is when I see someone do something really smart or really good or really,

uh, productive, I just take note of that. And I'm like, okay, that's fucking cool. That's a good idea. Uh, and even if it is my competition, uh, it's great. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I just learned from their shit too. And when you could separate your emotion from like looking at someone and hating them and

switch it over to like learning from them and being happy for them knowing that their little win just showed you how to win a little bit better you're in a much better place right and so if you're one of these people who's super high strong like i am and super competitive like i am i'm to the point where i don't really compete in things uh unless i have no like and going to sound terrible, but it's just the truth. Like I hate losing so bad that I just choose not to compete in certain things because I don't want to make a scene when I lose. Like that's how bad of a loser I am. And so what I do is instead of getting, and that's why I don't lose very much. But what I try to do is take that emotion that all high, strong, high competitive individuals have that naturally when you're undisciplined comes out as like hate and frustration and anger,

jealousy. And when I start to feel those emotions, I immediately transition them into productive action on my goals, right? So like if I observe something and I start to feel a little the wrong way about it. Bitter, whatever. Yeah, right. That's a sign for me to get up and attack one of the things on my list to do and do it very well. Because the best way to beat, the only way to beat people who are competing with you is to be better. And that's it. And so

if you could learn to adjust the feelings of negativity that naturally come with being competitive into productive action, you have now gained a power that they will never have. Because most people will stew. Most people will watch. Most people will be distracted and most people will lose because they spend too much time in that emotional state focused on their quote unquote enemy, as opposed to spending those same energy units, uh, executing their plan or, or, or improving their skillset. 100%.

Yeah. I love it now now does that just a little bonus add on here does that does that mean like is there a time and place to fucking drop some nukes on people yeah when people say well yeah i mean dude look you have to understand that i feel like people will hear that answer i'm like okay all right cool andy well yeah because they do look there's a difference between taking the high road on shit that doesn't matter and being a pussy. And that's two different things. You will not disrespect me, bro.

And if you do, I'll make it really fucking hard on you. Ask anybody who's tried. And I'll never say a word to you. You'll just end up having a much harder time. Okay. And I can, I can name a whole list of people who have fucked with me who don't even know that the reason that their shit is way much harder is because I'm fucking with them back without saying a fucking word. Oh man. I love it. Yeah. So, and dude, you know, some of these guys are right. They fuck with me me they blatantly fuck with me and then all of a sudden their shit starts to go wrong yeah okay and so my advice there would be to stay in your fucking lane

don't fuck don't fuck with people who have resources to that are that have relationships and resources and power and money in your same industry to make things extremely hard for you you know like most of the manufacturers that i know are really good friends of mine and if i make a phone call you know you go on my podcast and and say some fucking fake review shit about me and i figure out that it's you and then all of a sudden you lose your manufacturing capabilities that's not an accident right and people don't realize that no supply chain issues yeah that's right but here's but my point is is that that happens along that happens along every industry when you fuck with people who are way up on the

ladder with you they're not going to get into some verbal argument with you on instagram they're just going to go straight into the shit that really hurts bad right right so and i try not to do those things i stay in my lane but when people get in my lane they can run the fuck over and that so there so there's a time and place yeah um and there's a way to do things right so uh but like getting on the internet and arguing back and forth with people or making passive aggressive videos or posts that's weak ass pussy shit it's messy yeah right it's not even messy it makes everybody look stupid you know like if you're gonna fuck with me expect it to be fucked with back yeah and that's just how the fuck it works and that's how it works

with anybody who's dude every single high level operator i know fucking operates that way sometimes you have to make strategic decisions to make things hard on people who are trying to make things hard on you yeah and that that's just a part of business yeah and people want to say oh just take the high road oh you know i don't like that's that's well then don't be in fucking business because that's the kind of shit that happens in business yeah and you just have to learn that it's part of the game and so if you're a young entrepreneur no matter what industry you're in, no matter what segment you're in, don't fuck with the people that are out there setting the example that you want to be like, because usually what

happens is, and this is 100% of the time, this is what happens. The young bucks come in the game. They admire these people who've been in the game for a minute and they're like fuck dude i want to be the next that right i want to be the next andy i want to be the next first form i want to be the next fucking this or that right and instead of like honoring that and like working to represent that they automatically go into like let's tear it down let's tear that guy down and bro when you start tearing people down that have been in the game and have resources in any industry they have you got to understand every industry is very small there's a rolodex of people that's probably 10 people long that the people that top all fucking half and they make a call we talked about this when ed was on the show yeah

when ed was on the show uh ed my let the episode over a year ago he was on the show we talked about this when you're when you get when you get in that game all those 20 year guys those people been in the game for 20 years they all know each other they all work together and so when you're a young fucking punk and you come in and you start fucking stirring up shit thinking you're you got a big dick because you made a million bucks you won't make a million bucks next year you see what i'm saying yeah and that's, that's how every industry works.

People call up and they say, Hey, don't work with this guy. This guy's a fucking dick. Oh, what do you do? And then you show them. And then they're like,

fuck, I'm not working with that guy. And that's how it works. Yeah. And that, and so like, dude, if you're a young entrepreneur and you're new in somebody's industry,

whether it be fucking cars, whether it be, um, you're writing in somebody's industry whether it be fucking cars whether it be uh you're writing books no matter it doesn't matter what it is and you see someone that uh because there's there's quite a physical aspect to that too when you start to tear down other people that you look up to you're sending the universe the wrong message right you're again sending the universe i don't want that what that person has so i'm going to try to fuck it up which only makes things harder for you from a from a quantum physical standpoint and a universe standpoint on top of that all right that's without them lifting their fucking finger to make a phone call and say hey um other 20 year guys who all control parts of the industry don't work with those guys right

yeah yeah that's awesome that's how it works i mean like dude you guys listening to this you you don't have the perspective to know that that's how it works because you're not in that room you're not out there yet you're not you don't understand that and that's at every fucking industry it's construction it's fucking it's real estate it's fucking everything it's every fucking industry there is a there is people who are in that 20 year plus club they all know each other they all fucking they might they might not like each other but they all work together and they make calls and they say hey and blah blah blah and that's that's the quickest way to fucking get excommunicated

from the network yeah you know and and dude and then and then and then now you gotta sell nfts and shit or whatever i mean i'm just giving you the reality of business the the the best possible thing you can do is to be inspired by people who set the pace for you work to be as good or better than them and do it with respect and don't fuck with them and they won't fuck with you and earn it the right way right um take the negative jealousy energy that you that you feel because and which is ridiculous too right because the guys in the 20-year room they fucking earned that place right you're in the two or three or five-year room you didn't earn it yet so why the fuck are you jealous of these guys you see what i'm saying

but nonetheless those feelings of jealousy those feelings of inadequacy those feelings of insecurity the frustration the the the anger i want to nuke this motherfucker all killer instinct attitude that's natural with competitive people what you have to do is you have to you have to mold that back in and instead of going out and trying to attack them, you pour into your skillset, read another book, make it five more calls, do something that'll move you forward with that energy at that point in time in a productive way for you. And by the way, that sends the right message to the universe right it says well um i want to be like that guy so i'm going to work to get that good and then the universe

brings you those results i fucking love so it's dude business is hard it's competitive as fuck and you know that that's my best advice on the topic man i spent a long time hating a lot of my competitors and uh and being that young guy who fucking stirred the pot and, you know, and honestly, dude, if I didn't, if I hadn't have done that, I would have got where I was probably 10 years fucking faster. So you can listen to it or you don't listen to it. I don't care, but when you're, when you're, uh, when you're young and you're new and you're, you're alone and you have minimal relationships and, and then you have people who have much more horsepower, it's probably a good idea not to fucking get on those people's path.

Yeah. You probably don't even want to be in their fucking radar. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck around and find out. Well, it happens to everybody.

I think it's a big thing that holds a lot of people back that they never realize a lot of these people don't realize that you know the people at the top they might not you might not think they know who the fuck you are but they fucking know that's why they got where they are yeah it's like that old saying like the teacher will know your name for two one or two reasons you know i'm saying you did something good you did something bad they're gonna find out yeah so it's a it's it's a situation that people should really think about how they're behaving in all industries because those guys that set that pace, they have empathy for where you're at. They look and say, okay, they say, fuck, dude.

All right. I know where that dude is. It's really fucking hard for him right now. And those people can end up being your biggest fucking uh your your biggest supporters and helpers to bring you along and what you find is those people that are in that 20 year plus room they're the most helpful group because they do have empathy for the journey that it takes to get there but when you fuck with them they'll step on your fucking dicks you know what i'm saying so i love it i love it Andy, question number two for you.

A lot of shit going on right now in the world, right? We've talked about the younger crowd kind of being quiet and shutting up. Older crowd kind of, you know, you're doing your thing. What can the older generation provide and contribute to the country right now? With all the shit going on in the world, like what's their role? Where do you see their role being right now? Well, I think they should recognize and verbalize to the people in their networks.

However, they can, that what's going on is not correct. I mean, it's very simple. Um, there's no difference between what the older people should be doing or what the younger people should be doing. I don't understand the question. Well, I mean, well i mean because we've said multiple times uh guys we

said multiple times that you know the younger crowd needs to just go in the corner shut the fuck up the older crowd let's put their time in needs to go in their corner and go shut the fuck up and so i think this guy's just asking like i mean what what more can we do you know i'm saying being older a lot of the younger people don't want to listen to them. And we feel like right now there's like the age range, I would say from 30 to 50 maybe can really make the most impact, right? Those are the business owners. Those are the guys that run this shit. So what can the older generation-

What's old? 60 plus. I mean, he didn't really put his age down, but I'm assuming it's like 60 plus. Well, I don't know. I mean, it's the same as what everybody else can do. Don't comply with the bullshit. Stand up for yourself. Have the difficult conversations um you

if you're that old then you know for you you should have the best perspective of what has actually happened over the last 30 years because you've been an adult for at least 30 years right right like a lot of these younger kids who are 20 years old they don't have the perspective to understand what has even been diluted in this country over the last 20 years. Because when they were fucking 20 years ago, they were in a fucking ball sack somewhere. Right. So these people have a perspective and they should share that perspective. Like, dude, you got to remember this.

These 20 year olds right now, they have no fucking idea what it was like before all this shit started getting corrupt. They don't remember what it was like when the media actually told the news or when we didn't have constant fucking conflict and constant crisis and constant fear. They don't really understand that right because it's been that way for so long they don't understand really what traditional american values look like yeah so be that you know what i mean like be that example the whole reason that we are where we are is because people aren't setting the example a lot of people talk about a lot of shit. A lot of people will complain about what's going on in the country, but how many people are the living example of how it should be? Yeah.

I mean, out of every 10 people complain, how many of them have you seen? How many of them would you look at and say, okay, that dude's living or that, that woman's living an example of what it should look like. Yeah.

I mean, maybe, maybe two or three. Yeah. I mean, maybe two or three. Yeah. I mean, it's low. 10, 20%. Yeah. Right?

The rest are just complaining. So if you're one of these people that recognizes it's wrong and you're just one of these people complaining, start being a part of the solution. You know? Yeah. Start taking care of yourself. Start living to a higher standard.

Start talking to people about why you do some of the things that you do. You know what I mean? Like, dude, this whole situation that's happened in this country is the result of individuals, individuals, not collectively, individuals buying into the idea of mediocrity and buying into the idea that they don't matter and buying into the idea that it's everybody else's uh problem to solve we're buying into the idea that they're insignificant and you know they're old and nobody's going to listen to them and in reality dude uh people listen to motherfuckers that that walk the talk that they talk no matter what the age is so i would take an inventory of what you believe america should look like and what it should be like and how it should appear to be and what it should sound like.

And I would fucking live that. Just like everybody else. This has nothing to do with age. Andy, our third and final question for you. With a little backstory. Andy, question is, can you walk us through the process of pivoting? How exactly do I go about bouncing back from a negative situation? I got divorced. The company I work for will most likely be laying us off all within a few months of each other.

How do you stop the shit from piling up? Well, first of all, I did a podcast on this called Stop the Slide.'s i'm at what's the episode on that while we're looking uh secondly um there's a whole bunch more that you control than what you think and if i were in your situation um and i had just got divorced and i was in danger of losing my job i would look myself in the mirror and ask myself what the fuck i did to create all this that would be the first fucking step that I would do. What episode? 71. Episode number 71 of Real AF. Okay. Go, go listen to that episode. Stop the slide. All right. Um, but at the end of the day, bro, um, we create the own, the realities that we live in. And like

the person in this situation, they might hear me say that and be like, how can I control my job laying me off? Well, uh, you know, let's trace this back. Let's go back in time and let's trace it back to how you even got that job in the first place. And is it your dream job or is it just a job that you have? Or what did you do? Um, 20 years ago that got you in a position that you are now? And if you track back far enough, you'll see where the fuck you went wrong. But people don't like to do that because it's painful and it's frustrating. But it's also necessary because when you do that and you can recognize, first of all,

that it's my fault. I fucking did this. Okay. I'm the one that chose to be in this relationship. I'm the one that chose this career path. I'm the one that contributed to this relationship, not working out. I'm the one that made it. So I was someone who was on the chopping block when decisions were made, right? Those are all things that you did and you have to identify what you did and you have to do some work to correct those fucking behaviors. And that's really it.

We can sit here and say, oh, it's the company's fault or it's the economy's fault or it's my mean ex-wife's fault or it's Putin's fault or it's fucking Biden's fault. It's a pie chain issue. It's Trump's fault. It's fucking this fault. It's that fault. It's this fault. Motherfucker, it's your fault. That's it.

Okay. So what decisions did you make to create this scenario? What do you need to adjust moving forward? I'll make those adjustments and move the fuck forward. And that's it. It's really simple. That's how you pivot. Okay. Take all that anger, take all that frustration, take all that jealousy, take all those, uh, you know, thoughts you're going to have about whatever it is your ex-wife is doing that makes you jealous and mad and maybe get your fucking fat ass in shape you know i'm saying maybe become maybe become a better option for her than what it was uh than other options she might have because i'm probably sure

you have the potential to do so you just haven't done it because you've been complacent you've been lazy you've allowed yourself to tell yourself that everything's good enough and clearly the world is telling you something different, sir The world's telling you that you were not undeniable at your job. The world's telling you that your wife probably has better options than you Those are fucking harsh realities And the reason people end up in those scenarios is because they're not willing to address those harsh realities Before they become harsh realities. And that comes down to a concept I call selective urgency. Okay. People never worry about shit until it's already to the point where it's totally fucked. Right. We, we, we observed this over and over again. People coast,

they coast, they coast, they coast. Oh, I get laid off my job. My wife's leaving me. The fucking house on fire. My life's a wreck. Holy shit. Somebody help. Well, the reason you got to that point is because you weren't urgent about anything up until that point. You live with zero urgency. You live without any kind of passion or fire or desire to be undeniable in every motherfucking area of your life. That's why you are where the fuck you are. So if you want to avoid that, you have to live every day with urgency. You have to live every day with fucking aggressive, uh, you know, an aggressive attitude towards accomplishing and improving your life. You don't get to fucking win for being a fucking mediocre motherfucker. There's lots of those people. Yeah. All right. And I, and you know, whoever asks this, I'm sure

they're a really nice person but it don't come down to being nice it comes down to fucking pursuing your own true potential taking ownership for the shit that you've done and the shit you created in a life that you have created not oppression has created not fucking your race has created not biden has created not your fucking teacher from high school or your old girlfriend that called you a loser or all your friends that don't believe in you. Dude, we live in this victimhood fucking bullshit life.

Yeah. You know, and it's the reason it's pushed that way is because if we don't have to take accountability and everything is everybody's fault, that means there's nothing we can do about it. So we don't have to do anything. Right. We get to continue to coast and be lazy and fucking eat like shit look like shit you know most of the dudes my age they look fucking 15 years older than me you know why because they don't

live like i live and if they live like i live they would fucking be like me but they're not and they choose to do other things it's really really simple, bro. It's really simple. So if you want to pivot, take all that fucking shit you're unsatisfied with, harness all that emotional energy and start moving in the right direction. Get off the fucking couch and go for a walk. Put some good shit in your brain. Start drinking fucking water. Stop drinking beer with your loser fucking friends that you've had for the last fucking

however many years. They ain't doing fucking shit. Fuck, dude. How about that? That's pretty easy shit. I love it. It's very simple. It's very simple.

People just don't want to do it. It's uncomfortable, man. It's very uncomfortable, but it's reality. It's very, very uncomfortable, but it's always reality. You built and create all the good shit and all the fucking bullshit in your life. And so when you got more bullshit than good shit, guess who's fucking fault that is. It ain't mine. You see what I'm saying? Right. Right. So I love it. Look in the mirror, dude. mirror dude what is it what what break yourself down from an honest standpoint don't be overly harsh you're not a piece of shit right you have tons of

potential bro whoever this guy is you have fucking millions of miles of potential that you've never fucking tapped you should be excited about that you know what i mean like think about that bro you got a fresh start you got a fresh start now to do fucking anything you want, to live your life a totally different way, to fucking find a totally different partner, to find a totally different career, and to actually do the work to become successful in that, in all those areas.

The shit just doesn't just happen, bro. The shit just doesn't, it doesn't just happen. That's a loser mentality. That's what they want you to think, because if you think the shit just happens happens and people like me are just lucky people then you don't try and if you don't try then you don't have to do any work you know and it'll never happen and and and then it's always someone else's fault so so it gets people off the hook right they let themselves off the hook by not admitting that it's them who has caused all of these things that are happening. I fucking love it. Guys, Andy, that's three.

Go pay the fee. Yep. Appreciate you guys. Love you guys. Talk to you next time. The box froze, fuck a bowl, fuck a stole Counted millions in a cold Bad bitch, booted swole Got her on bankroll, can't fold Just a note, headshot, case closed