REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 256. Q&AF: Transparency With Employees, Becoming A Man & Humility With Ambition

Episode Date: March 18, 2022

In today’s episode, Andy answers your questions on how much transparency you should have with your employees, what characteristics a young male can develop in order to become a real man in today’s society, and how you can stay ambitious chasing your goals while practicing humility.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today out of our many episodes that we offer our vast plethora of knowledge and humor we do have q and af this is where you bring the q's and i bring the afs in that right yeah it kind of scared me a little bit yeah and i like the word choice of plethora i haven't heard that in a minute yeah that means many sounds like urethra yeah but the urethra is only one yeah maybe i think so guys is there two there's two urethras i know is it really yeah it comes from two sites see bro there urethra is a hole in your urethra i could be wrong you are wrong i'm the judge of this motherfucking show you're fucking wrong all right now let's get to the real questions yeah

got some good ones for you brother yeah hey if this is your first time listening um we do a couple different things here we have q and af which is mainly educational entrepreneur uh self-development how to kick ass and kick everybody else asses too that's what q and af is about then we have cti which is the news and we make fun of it then we have real talk which is i haven't done one in a while yeah it's been a minute maybe i'll crack a couple off for these for these fools oh man yeah all right get what you ordered yeah that's right you gotta get what you ordered that's a fucking fact but it ain't gonna be made your way right no shit you know what i'm saying uh and then we have the full length podcast which we have uh my friends and people i admire people who i think deserve a platform

good humans yeah to come on and we talk and we talk about all kinds of stuff you never know uh what we might talk about on those so with that being said this is q and af and there is a fee for this wonderful knowledge that i'm about to bestow upon you and the fee is very simple. Tell a motherfucker about the show. Yeah. Now, how can people have me answer their cues? Easily. It's very, very easy, guys. Email your questions in to askandyandandyforseller.com. That sounds pretty easy.

No, it's very, very simple. Yeah. Now, ask me whatever you want as long as it's not stupid. Yeah. And I'll answer it. That's the catch. Yeah, that is the catch. You have to be smart. You never answer my i'll answer it that's the catch yeah that is the catch uh you have to be smart answer my question yeah that's because your question sucked

all right now if you want more entrepreneur content many of you know many of you don't know that i have a company uh a group called the arte syndicate all right and this is a collection of the best, highest performing actual entrepreneurs, not fucking fake entrepreneurs flexing with someone else's shit on the internet. We're talking about real people doing real shit in real life. And we have that group with my really good friend, Ed Milet, who's one of the best entrepreneurs I know. We bring every single person in, the founders of the companies that you know and use every day to talk about business and how to grow and how to win.

And that's where most of my entrepreneur content goes these days is Arte Syndicate. So if you're interested, we open up applications two or three times a year. They're not open right now, but just you can go check it out on rta syndicate uh dot com or at rta syndicate on uh instagram now enough promoting let's start the show andy question number one okay when you're starting out uh as a young business owner okay young entrepreneur you have a couple of employees five employees let's say okay What level of transparency should a small business owner have with their employees about stuff going wrong or the numbers, et cetera, right? What information do you shield from them to make sure that they aren't distracted or confused or worried?

Obviously, that depends on the level of company, right? First of all, you need to be as transparent as possible at every single phase of your company, because when there is no transparency or there's lack of transparency, that creates questions and it can lead to mistrust just by simply not understanding what's actually going on. So when people are confused, when people don't know what's going on, when you're not letting them know what's going on, their natural reaction is to assume the worst. That's where the rumors start. Yeah, that's right. And all kinds of negativity and cancer and all these things start. A lot of the battles that you guys face with your employees start from lack of transparency.

Now, there was a good part of that question. So like in the beginning, being transparent is, is extremely important because everybody knows you don't got shit, right? So you got nothing to hide, right? Uh, and there's no reason to, to keep anything from anybody because we're trying to build this together. Right. And, and um a lot of owners hesitate to be transparent because they think that you know if the if the employees see that they're making x or not making x they won't believe in the company right like if you're making too much money you're greedy fuck if you're not making enough money holy shit i'm working for

a failing company fucking loser right so there's a line to walk there that people think they need to walk. But the truth is, if you're honest with people and say, hey, we ain't shit and we got to do a whole bunch of work, you'll be surprised how many people want to get in the trenches and work with you on that. That's the best policy because it creates a true trustworthy bond. Now, when you get bigger, there was a valid point in that question. When you get bigger, you don't need to unload all the information onto everybody because you have so many people that are doing critical jobs to make the machine work that if you unload things onto them that they don't need to handle, you're actually lessening your chances

of success for not just them, but for the whole entire company. Right. So there's definitely levels to transparency. And in my inner circle, we are transparent. We talk about sales. We talk about this. We talk about that. We talk about our problems. We talk about our wins. We talk about our ideas, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Now, when I leave that room, I don't go around and tell everybody everything. But like if they were to come in and ask, we would talk about it. Right. Right. So there's, there's levels to it.

But one of the things that makes the companies that I've been a part of and that I, you know, have founded and run and all these things. Great. Uh, which all of them are is just a just a fucking fact, is the fact that we have trust. And the reason we have trust is because we tell the truth and we share the challenges. We share the, we don't shy away from bad news. We address bad news and we come up with a plan to overcome it together. And all of those things create buy-in for your team, right? Like if you solve a problem by yourself as a CEO and people never

know that you solved it, what difference does it make? But if you had five people that all put in to solve the problem, now you just took a problem and not only did you solve the problem, you created a bonding experience for your team that creates trust and good momentum, good faith moving forward. It helps galvanize that team together. So there's nuances there on that question, but that's how I see it in general. Yeah. Love it. Love it. Question. Question number two, Andy. Andy, what are some steps or things that young men, specifically ages 18 to 25, okay, should be focused on to become men, okay? And when did you first feel like, like, I'm a man, right?

Like, the person, he's 22 years old, he's living at home, he is financially independent since he was 18. He's working on his goals, he's doing the work, but he feels like something's missing. What do you got on that? Look, man, there's no shortage of people out there trying to tell people how to be men right um bro the beard yeah like dude and they all got beards raw liver yeah right like it's all crazy shit like kill the wild buffalo with your fucking bare hands and then skin it with

your teeth like it's all fucking crazy shit like dude to me what i think a young man should be worried about um is putting in the time right now understanding that they're playing the long game see this is something i did very right um i i partied i had good time i fucking hung out with friends i fucked around but i always made myself do my work i always put good stuff into my brain. I always read. I always talked to successful people. I was always a student of success. Um, and that was a big part of being successful in business, but I don't think that's part of being a man. Um, I think that's just part of getting your life together. Right. You're a productive human. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah so so that would be the first thing

i would recommend to anybody who's 20 whether it be a man or a woman um you know you you need to really understand that your 20s are super valuable uh contradictory to what like other guru type dudes say you know oh fuck your 20s go have fun bro that's how most people do it yeah you know what i'm saying and then that's why they find themselves in the shitty position in their 30s um which you could still recover from and build great but i'm just saying why not get the fuck ahead right right that's how i look at it so to me when we talk about how to be a man i think a lot of a lot of that has to do separate from success, okay?

To be a man, you need to be fucking financially self-sustaining. You need to be able to provide for your future family. See, when I was 20 years old, 21 years old, 22, 25, 28, I didn't have a family. And I had relationships, but these were just like three, four-year relationships. Sure. You know what I mean? And they were important to me, but I were just like three, four-year relationships. Sure. You know what I mean? And they were important to me, but I didn't have a family. But I was always working for my future family.

Does that make sense? Yeah. So I had it in my head that like, okay, dude, when I eventually want to have kids, I want to go to their practices and I want to be the guy who can do all the things with them. And I started working for that when i was 20 now as it turns out i didn't end up having kids which means i got a whole bunch of extra money to use the fun shit with okay and guess what that's what i do right but um but fuck dude i raise a lot of other people's kids so it's all good for me you got

like 400 i ain't missing nothing i love what do. I love the people I'm around. I love all of it. But when it comes to being a man, you know, I think it comes down to things like, uh, developing the ability to be disciplined, uh, having integrity, standing by what you say you're going to do, not lying, telling the truth. Um, you know, meaning what you say. I think those things, developing those abilities and traits in yourself are far more important to becoming a man than making a dollar. You know what I'm saying?

And what we're missing in this world really is true, true masculine leadership. You know, someone who will look you in the eye and say, I got this fucking handle and go fucking handle it. Right. People that are willing to stand up for things that are wrong. I think that's what makes a man. And to be honest, dude, I think that might be the biggest one. That might be the biggest fucking

one. Willing to stand up for motherfucking shit that you know is wrong, even if you're the only one standing up for it. That's a man. And there's very few of those people. So it's a massive vacuum of that right now yeah yeah and so you know being able to do that and a lot of people you know they don't think that being uh brave like they don't understand that like when you see people out there who are standing up to to all the stuff that's wrong in the world they're scared too like

it's not that they're not scared it's that they're scared and they're choosing to do it anyway that's what makes a fucking man yeah like that kind of shit right um you know and dude like when it comes to women and shit uh you guys you guys have been taught all the wrong shit but you really have you've been taught all the wrong shit you've been taught to be a supplicating uh for lack of a better term supplicating little pussy that's what the fuck you become where you go around begging for a slice of a slice of sugar wall right like and you'll do anything for it you'll compromise all your values you'll never say no blah blah blah and you end up being in the friend zone because your mom taught you uh all this shit that she wishes that she had that actually doesn't really work in the real world you know so um don't be afraid to hold out

and be a fucking man and not go around begging for the for the p right uh like a little bitch because dude first of all the minute you stop that shit is the minute that girls find you interesting. Because you have to understand that ever since those girls were fucking 12 years old and they started to go through puberty. Every single fucking boy. Every single dude. Every single man they know has been trying to get in their pants. And you fucking begging for it is really honestly. It's not not getting you closer it's getting you fucking a million miles further away okay so there's all kinds of things we could give a whole conference on all this shit

but you need to now yeah i know but at the end of the day um women love real men that's just the reality and it's not alpha men like there's this alpha shit tossed around by a bunch of motherfuckers that ain't alpha at anything right um it's um it's what i said you know it's the qualities of a man it's a protector it's a provider it's a man of integrity it's a man of values it's a man with courage it's a man that'll stand up and say hey you know what fuck you right you know and then also put out a helping hand when people need help. I think those are the things. I think those are the things that make up a quality man.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And that's not to say you're going to be a perfect man. You were going to make mistakes. You're going to fuck up. You're going to do dumb shit. And a man owns those things and, and, and works to be better. So, you know,

I, I truly feel touching back on what boys are taught about girls. I truly feel like they're totally misinformed and totally taught the wrong shit their whole life. Yeah. You know, and you're taught, uh,

you know, if you align your chakras, well, no, what I, what I, what I observe is that mothers teach their boys the things that they would like to have happen to them or have had happen to them

in their ideal functional relationship right so you have a lot of single moms it's not their fault maybe it is i don't know could be could be not but you have a lot of single moms it's not their fault maybe it is i don't know could be could be not but you have a lot of the way it happens to be is you have a lot of single women who are raising boys and when they're telling them about how to attract women they tell them all this shit you know uh sugar and spice treat them nice pull out their chair do all this shit send them flowers be a romantic and listen to their feeling yeah motherfucker let me tell you something all that's fine and good but if she thinks you're a weak little bitch you ain't you're never she's not gonna be attracted

to you physically at all okay and that's a whole nother thing like all these dudes out there are taught that if they're nice to girls that all of a sudden the girl's obligated to like like them that's not how it works motherfucker you got to become a person of value you know if you're a fat slob you're gonna get fat slob you ain't gonna get fucking what you know like if you you're gonna get what the fuck you are that's really what it comes down to and and you know i observe a lot of young men being taught the wrong things by moms that lack in relationships. And then the men go out in the world, get the fucking heads kicked in by women, stomped on, cheated on, treated like shit because they're not equipped to properly be a man. Right. You know, and then do you hear from women?

Where's the men? Where's the men? Where's the men? Well, you all fucking told them that they were toxic. You told them that they were too aggressive. You told them you didn't like that shit. And they started using your fucking body wash. And now they smell like you and they dress like you and they look like you.

And now you're pissed off. The man buns. Like, dude, it's fucking, it's ridiculous. Yeah. And so, you know, I feel like this is like a whole show we should do. But at the end of the day, being a real man is all the things I mentioned. And then also standing on those things when it's hard to, you know, I, it's very hard for me to talk about the state of like interpersonal relations between men and women right now, because these men are fucking clowns.

They're fucking clowns. So. I love it. Yeah. I mean, dude, they show up for abuse after abuse, after abuse, after abuse. And they don't understand that the minute you say, fuck you, stop abusing me is when their fucking vagina gets fucking juicy it's the fucking truth it's the fucking truth it's the fucking truth yeah you gotta have a fucking backbone if you don't have a fucking backbone bro good luck because you ain't getting it ever you better fall in love with jill you know who jill is right his palm yeah yeah

you know that ain't bad sometimes too i'm just saying like but i'm being real dude no it's like there's too much weakness in men and it's so weak that women can't even find proper men to fucking date yeah that's real so maybe if some of you women would start telling men what they actually should be and and talk to them about what you would find attractive as opposed to making them supplicating little bitches. Uh, maybe you'd have some more men. Probably. I think there's gonna be a lot of guys that are be intimidated at, you know what I'm saying? Like there's gonna be quite a few of them that will be intimidated once they tell them what they really want. Once the women tell the men what they really, really want, a lot of them are still miss out. Listen, this ain't a message. This is,

I was wrong about what I said just there. It's ain't a message for men. This isn't a message for women to tell men. It's a message for men to tell men. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not women's job to fucking fix the broken cycle of raising broken little boys. Yeah. It's ours once we realize the problem. I love it.

The truth of it is, uh you you boys out there listening you don't have a fucking clue um get your fat ass in shape get a fucking job that pays stand up for your fucking word be who you say you are be authentic have integrity stand on your values stand alone if you have to have courage and you won't have problem with the p that's a fucking fact yeah sugar walls will be there baby yeah and get yourself a nice beard it helps and then you go kill the wild wildebeest dude i'm just saying man it's like i i feel for these dudes no you know because i was that dude too i was that dude who thought like oh let me do all these sweet things and show and then you know what they don't end up liking you worth a fuck in fact they abuse the shit out of you because there's no

backbone yeah yeah that's fucking awesome guys i 30 oh and by the way all that shit i said about holding doors and that and that and that that's the right way to do it you still do that that's after everything's established you know shit because it's a different there's a big difference between a pussy little boy holding doors hoping to get in exchange some pee versus a man that tell you to fuck off but still decides to open the door for you and no shit it's a big difference guys our third and final question for you. Uh, Andy, I've heard you say a few times that there was a time and a place where you thought you were the shit, but you had to switch that mindset to almost like a humility standpoint. And you had to realize that you still had work to do. What was that situation? Uh, that quote, like, you know, come to Jesus moment that you had.

Oh, dude, I think you have them i think between every phase of life when you're leveling up if you're an ambitious human you're going to come to those moments right um so it wasn't just like one i'll be all yeah no it's like okay when you set your first goal of life and you're trying to escalate and elevate to that level right you get to that level and you start feeling like yeah fuck it yeah yeah like when you buy your fucking house yeah you probably thought you're pretty awesome you're doing pretty good yeah you think you're still awesome now no right i got far away long way to go right that's right so you get to the thing it's it's cool i love it i'm doing i'm doing good yeah fuck i'm doing real good man fucking nobody's as good as me at this

age yeah oh shit i got a lot to live i got a whole long way to go i better i better up my next goal right right and so then i go up to the goal and i fucking say this is this is me talking now right oh dude i've got my nice house i've got a lamborghini i'm making money uh Uh, Oh shit. My team needs to make money too. Oh fuck dude. All right. Well,

fuck dude. All right. I got to set this new goal so that I can get everybody to make money. Right. Then I go, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah. Yeah. I get to that next level and I'm like, all right, now everybody's making money except, you know, these guys are that guys are this or that, or, you know, there's this problem to or you know there's this problem to solve or there's that problem to solve and every single time

you you expand your vision to be something greater than what it was uh comes a time of being real with yourself that you ain't that fucking good right and so what i try to do man and like this is not recommended for anybody else um i compare myself to the best in the world. I compare myself to Michael Jordan. I compare myself to Jeff Bezos. I compare myself to these enormous personalities, successes. I compare myself to Donald Trump. I compare myself to these people legitimately in my brain.

And people think that's because I think highly of myself. You goddamn right i do yeah i do think you know it's not about luck huh and you know that it's not about luck it's just fucking no no i i think highly of myself i think highly of myself so much so that i know i can achieve those things yeah so so but i also in the same right know that that those motherfuckers, Bezos could buy my whole entire life without a drop of sweat off his nuts. So I know I ain't shit. You see what I'm saying? So there's a process and you're going to come to a road many, many times where you have these situations where you need to expand your vision. And in order to expand your vision and create a new path or the next level up, that requires

humility. Like there's a part of that conversation that happens. It says, Hey, Andy, you really ain't done shit, bro. You know what I'm saying? And that's kind of a hard, that conversation gets harder and harder to harder to have the more success you have. Cause you're like, well, fuck dude. Nobody like nobody nobody i know that

my age doing this shit that's got to be fucking tough well i'm just saying like i know i'm being literal yeah i don't know another human that's my age that's doing what i'm doing on my level i don't not a single one so so i what do i got to compare to i got to compare to guys where i'm going to be in 20 years where i'm going to be in 30 years or where these guys are right so we always have to step do not do that by the way because you will be miserable you will be if you're at the beginning and you compare yourself to bezos you're gonna be fucking miserable right right it's gonna feel hopeless um it's not a realistic goal no well at that point like is that what you know i'm saying you have to be a wild ass fucking

motherfucker to actually think like i think yeah like it's just probably not healthy for most people to think that way um but what i am saying is that yeah you're going to have those conversations over and over and over and over and over and over and over again as you go through the progression and when you stop having those conversations and those come to jesus moments is when you are where the fuck you're going to be and you're not going anywhere past that. Okay. And so that's the important thing to notice. Like when you stop saying, fuck dude, I got a long way to go. Like I got, I got this and this and this to do. And you stop like dreaming bigger and you stop this or that. That's it for you. That's it. That's all you're going to be. And a lot of people really screw themselves

with this concept because what they do is they set out to become successful. They set out to build an amazing life and they get there, but they get there way earlier than what they thought they were going to get there. All right. So like, let's just say you're 20 years old and you say, I want to be a multimillionaire. I want to have this house. I want to have this life. I want to have this shit. Uh, first of all, you better fucking stand up for freedom or you'll never fucking have it. Okay. I'm just going to throw that in there. Secondly, um, let's just say you work for the next decade. Let's say our freedom stays intact and you work for the next decade and you get to a point where you, you have a nice house, nice car, nice life, nice bank account. Oh, you're a fit. You're healthy. You're just blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah. If you say, Oh dude, I made it right there. By the oh you're a fit you're healthy you're just blah blah blah if you say oh dude i made it right there by the time you're 40 you'll be fucking broke because you're either moving forward you're either getting better or you're fucking going in reverse because the world the world's momentum and everybody else's momentum is naturally escalating towards achievement it just is now they're trying they being the media and these elite fucking communists across the globe are trying to make it so it's not popular anymore to pursue success. But the nature of human beings is to improve. The nature of human beings is to progress. The nature of human beings is to collectively work towards a goal that we can accomplish.

And if you look back over the societies of history, this is behavior that's consistent amongst humans since the beginning of time. We want to build this cathedral. We want to build this pyramid. We want to build this, this, this, this, this, this, this. That takes teamwork. It takes achievement-driven people. It takes ambition. You can't culturally remove that with propaganda from people. It's always going to be the natural way. So, so if we get to, if you get to that point when you're 30 and you're where you think you want to be, and you're not setting a bigger goal, you're it's over for you. You know what I'm saying? It might, it might take three or four years. It might take seven years, but it's over for you. You just don't know it yet.

Hmm. Love it. Andy guys, that is three. That's three. I will pay the fee.