REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 26. Real Talk: How Big Are Your Dreams?

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

Most people have it wrong ... when you make other people uncomfortable with your goals, you should take that as a COMPLIMENT.  You see, most people these days just want to be complacent, and when you tell them about your goals, they feel insecure because they selfishly don't want to be passed up. On today's show, Andy tells you how to deal with these type of people, and how to continue moving forward.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. In the project, living. Spoke it till existence. Mode changed to 50. Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realists.

Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today, I have real talk for you, and we're going to get into some really important stuff. Before I do, I'd just like to remind you guys, you know, our podcast is free. There is no ads, and all we ask in return is that you share it. If you're new, we call this paying the fee. Paying the fee means if you got a laugh, if you learned something, if you thought that this

podcast helped you in some sort of way, we ask that you tell someone about it, whether that's through a story, whether you share it in your Instagram feed or your Facebook feed or wherever it is. We just ask that you help us grow the show. We don't run ads like most other people to promote the show. And we also, like I said, don't run ads on the show. This is purely something that we do to try to give back to people and help people learn and have a good laugh once in a while too while we do it.

So with that being said, I would appreciate it if you guys helped us grow the show, if you shared it. If you're not subscribed, please subscribe. That helps us a lot. And then also uh you know leave us a review if the the show's good tell us about it um now with that being said guys we have a lot of new listeners who haven't been with us since you know 2015 and i have a lot of new followers on instagram uh that haven't been around since I've been on Instagram since 2000, I don't

know, 13 or so. And a lot of people don't really understand that, you know, what you see on my Instagram, you know, the businesses, the success, the house, the cars, the flying on private jets, the lifestyle that I'm so fortunate to lead. A lot of people don't realize that that was built from the ground up. Um, every time I post something about my life, which I don't do a lot, cause I like to stay somewhat private, you know, people are like, damn dude, you know, where'd you, how did you make it? How did you do that? Guys? The reason I've been able to become a voice for the entrepreneurial space is because dude, I'm one of the few real dudes who has built something from literal nothing. You know, in 1999,

when we started our business, we were just 19 year old kids. We didn't have any money. We didn't have any supporters. We had $12,000 that we earned from painting the stripes on parking lots. And from that point forward, you know, we opened our first retail supplement superstore. Um, and the first day in business, we sold seven bucks. The second day in business, I think we sold zero. The third day was 23 bucks. You know, like this came from very humble beginnings. And that's why the information that we've been giving is so valuable. Because the reality is, guys, there's not a lot of people out there who have actually built what you see as their life. That's just the truth.

And the more I've become a voice in this entrepreneur space, most of the people who are big voices in the space, they made their money by selling how to do shit courses and things like that back before people ever questioned whether or not they were qualified to do so. That's just the truth. So, you know, when I talk to you about building a business, when I talk to you about building success, when I show you my companies or I show you my life or I show you my my home or you see these things, I hope you realize and I hope you stop and understand.

I've paid every motherfucking price there is to be fucking paid. Okay. I have worked and worked and worked and worked. And I understand what it's like for you guys who are out there at the ground level. Let's say the starting line, what it's really like for you guys. I'm under no illusion of what it's like to try and build a business It's like you're battling the whole motherfucking world Including your family, your friends, the people that you thought were your friends And all of society And it's a very hard thing to do And what I want to talk about today

And the reason I wanted to give you that little preface And you can read more about that on my website under the About Me If you really want to know where I come from and how, how we got here. Um, you go to the website and read it. But the point is that I want you guys to understand is like, I know what it's like legitimately to be criticized for having huge goals and huge dreams. I know what it's like to get laughed at. I know what it's like to get told to get a real fucking job. I know what it's like to have your own family tell you that you're unrealistic or you're materialistic or you're money driven. And they say all these

things in negative ways. I know what all this is like. And I know what the pressure's like. I know how frustrating it is to want to build something and then you go on social media and post about it and you get two fucking likes and you know it's your aunt Mary and you know your uncle Steve like dude I get that that's where I was like when I started in the entrepreneur space and the motivation space. You guys don't realize this, but I started on Facebook back fucking 2008 or nine, maybe even seven writing motivational stayings and, you know, trying to put out content. I got laughed at. I got made fun of, you know, my family, who you got, who you think you're trying to be Tony Robbins. Well, you're fucking right. I'm trying to be Tony Robbins. Motherfuckers crush shit okay so I know

what it's like I know what it's like to be the only person in your circle to not be okay with just the way things are and I know how lonely that is and that's what I want to talk to you about today you know which are really the topics of this being criticized for dreaming about things that you want and about a better life and about basically dreaming for a bigger existence. And then how to also know that you're on the right track and how you're tracking your progress, building those dreams. I know those things don't sound related on the surface, but I want you to hear me out on this. So let's start with dreaming big, okay? This is a problem for most people. The first thing I want you guys to realize is that if you're already dreaming big, you're way ahead of

the game because most people don't have the balls to wake up every day with a grandiose idea or plans or even consider that they want anything bigger and better than what they have right now we live in a society where it's popular to downplay everybody and to tell everybody well you don't need that and you know uh having less is actually having more and all this shit we hear all this shit everywhere guys it's all fucking bullshit okay i'm gonna tell you that right now so i know how you're feeling. You're, you're, you're trying to do better. You're trying to become more. You're constantly getting criticized for being different, for not finding an easy, safe way in life for not reading into

the bullshit society serves you, uh, constantly and everywhere that you look, you know, and guys, if you really want to be honest, you want to know why they're criticizing you. It's because you're making them uncomfortable. You're making them realize they don't have the same ambitions or the same goals or even the same wherewithal to accomplish those goals. Okay. There's a few things that are different that you have to understand that are potentially happening here. One of them is that they could be coming from a jealous mindset, right? They see you with the dreams that they could never see themselves having. They see you with potential they can't find within themselves.

And when you start to dream, and when you start to expand your potential even more, and when you start to move forward, it makes them realize they aren't moving at all. And that feels uncomfortable it feels bad and they're building a complex of insecurity about themselves and they're projecting that onto you and they do this because they see it as a threat to their environment society as a whole gets real fucking nervous guys when they see someone going after big dreams and they want to see you calm down and go right back into that little tiny box that they all live in and guys I see this every day man I get dms I get emails I get you guys reaching out dude and it just really really upsets me because you think that it's just you it's just you. It's just you. It's not just you. Everybody who goes through pursuing

something that is bigger, something that's better, something that is beyond the scope of imagination of everybody that they're around goes through this, guys. We all go through it. Like I said, remember, I got laughed at too. I still get fucking laughed at. I still get laughed at to this day and I'm running fucking companies that do hundreds of millions of dollars. I want you to think about that. We're not doing a million dollars. We're not doing $10 million.

We're doing hundreds of millions of dollars and I'm still getting laughed at. What does that say about fucking people? And what does that say about people and their ability to believe in you when you haven't actually done anything? Okay. I know that these people should believe in you. And I know that these people should encourage you. And I know that your peers and your coworkers and your friends and your family and all these groups that put you down, they shouldn't do that. And it's awful. And I'm not going to defend them, but I want you to understand that this is just part of the deal. Okay. A lot of these people are jealous. A lot of these people are insecure. They don't have their own house in order and they

don't want to see someone else achieve what they can't do themselves. Okay. That's a huge issue. And I know we've heard this a million times guys, but I want you to stop this time. And I want you to really think what it is that creates this difficult obstruction to your mental, your mental being and success. It's their fear. They're afraid, okay? It's like they feel like they're losing a grip on you. They feel like they're losing a friend. They're maybe going to lose a family member.

You may not know this, but the chances are, if you're the type of go-getter and big dreamer that I'm talking about, these people probably recognize that and they've been looking up to you already. They already see the power in you that you have, even if you don't see it and they don't want to lose that one person in their life that's going to make a difference. And they think that once you've reached those goals, they're going to be cut out and they're going to be expendable and that scares them. And guys, even though that's almost never the case, there are times where that's appropriate. Some of you have friends and you know exactly who

they are that aren't really backing you up. Okay. And I'm sure you're going to defend them. But if you really think about it for a few minutes guys you know I'm right the friends that have to you know have everything you have when you get a new car they got to get a new car when you tell a story they got a better story when you get a new phone they get a fucking new phone you know these quote-unquote friends dude they're just trying to keep up man you've all heard that saying keep up with the Joneses. If they're jealous about you for your material progress, you could bet your ass they have the same feelings towards the other aspects of your life. And unfortunately, this can also be your family.

And that sucks. You know, don't get me wrong, dude. If you're 17 years old and you're living with your parents and you have no means of your own, you're going to have to play by their rules. And guess what? That's the right thing to do. And you should do that. I'm not saying that, but there's absolutely nothing that should be stopping you from creating the life that you want to create, at least at that point in your mind and making a plan to execute on that.

Find ways to prepare for your future. And when your time comes, you'll already be that far ahead of everybody else trying to get to the same spot. Okay. Now, if you're in your late twenties, your early thirties, I don't have an excuse for you. And you don't have one for yourself either. I get it, man. Times are hard and sometimes they're really hard, but if you're going to dream big and create an amazing life and you want to have an actual realistic chance of getting there, you have to start learning how to do things on your own. And I know what the fuck I'm talking about guys, because I've done this. I've done it. I started with literally nothing. Okay. I spent a summer doing hard ass work, uh, you know, painting the stripes on a

parking lot. That doesn't sound hard, but I'm going to promise you right now, if you've ever pushed a 400 pound fucking parking lot striper across a parking lot, when it's a hundred motherfucking degrees outside for 15 fucking hours, it's pretty hard. I earned everything that I have and I earned where we are. And this has not been easy for us. Everything that we've had to do has been the hard way. I slept in the first store on a piss stained mattress with my business partner. And guess what? That ain't our cup of tea, motherfuckers.

All right. I waited years before I saw any semblance of success. My first 10 years in business, man, I made 58 fucking grand total, total $58,000 for 10 years of motherfucking work. Okay. I didn't count on anybody else to get me here. We grinded and grinded and grinded. And this is why I'm so fucking cynical about all these other motherfuckers out there on the internet they're telling you to work hard because they don't know a fucking thing about it this is what it takes that's just what it takes guys it is that fucking hard maybe it won't take

you as long okay maybe you're much smarter than me you guys have a lot more technology available to you so it shouldn't take you as long as it took me. But I'm going to tell you right now, every motherfucking thing that could have happened that was hard happens. And it's going to happen to you too. And you have to be able to understand it's not just you. The reason people fall off track is because they think it's just them. They think they're the only ones that deal with these things.

Their family's the only one that laughs. Their friends are the only ones that laugh. Their fucking people they know are the only ones that tell them they can't. That's not true. That's everybody. Drive up and down your motherfucking street, wherever it is you live, and look at all the businesses open. Every motherfucker that owns those businesses has gone through what it is you're talking about. All of them. And they go through it every single day. Okay. So get your mind right. So you understand that's just a part of the deal. If you're going to have big dreams, you're going to have big criticisms too. If you're going to have big dreams, you're going to have big fucking haters. If you're going to have big dreams, you're going to have big stress. If you're going to have big dreams, you're going to feel lonely. Those are just

things that fucking come with the territory. And if you can't deal with those things, then guess what? You shouldn't even go out and try to fucking do it because it's going to be something that you totally hate that drives you insane. Okay. So let me switch up the gears here. All right. How do we know when we're on our way to achieving the goals? Like how does this fit with everything that we've discussed today? When you hear criticisms like, why do you want to do that? You work too hard. You work too much. You're taking this shit way too seriously dude all of those are indicators guys that you're on the right track you should be working hard you should be working a lot you should be taking this fucking serious there's no reason to ask those questions and that's why

they're great indicators that you're on to something real. Okay. Remember this guys and remember forever. Nobody criticizes losers. The reason nobody criticizes losers because they're fucking irrelevant. Okay. So if you're getting criticism, this should be an indication that you are moving the right direction. Okay. All of these criticisms and all of these questions, you're going to hear from your friends and the family. And there's a reason for this guys. You're making progress. You might not be able to see it, but those closest to you are seeing it. When your coworkers are out there saying, man, dude, why are you working so hard? It's because they aren't. They're seeing your

forward progress and realizing it's pointing out their lack of work ethic. They realize that the pressure is either going to come down on them or you're going to leave them in the dust and move on to bigger and better things. When your family says you work too much, it's because they know that you're destined for something greater and there's a chance they'll be stuck in the same place they've always been. You don't need anybody's fucking permission to do this. That is the biggest misunderstanding and misconception in this entire equation of success. Nobody out there is going to believe in you until after you did it. All right. No bank is going to want to lend you money until you don't need it. All right. No customers are going to want to beg to be your customers until you're already kicking ass.

The period from day one to the period of what you think success is, is probably 10 to 15 years. That's reality. Can you make a great income in the first couple years yeah you can like i said technology has changed all right we're able to move in an accelerated pace now but guys i'm telling you right now if you have a situation right now and you're thinking there's no way it's this hard for everybody else there's no way it was this hard for andy there's no way it's this hard for everybody else. There's no way it was this hard for Andy. There's no way it was this hard for so-and-so. You're wrong. Anybody out there that you admire, that you look at their life and you say,

God, I wish I had that life. They're dealing with shit that you're dealing with. They've overcome the shit that you're dealing with. This is part of the process. It's part of the recipe. It's part of what it is you're trying to become. And as you push through and as you become better and better and better at what you do, and as it becomes crystal clear that you are going to become who it is, you say you are going

to become all these people who said all this shit are going to change their tune and let me tell you what they're going to say and it feels real good too andy i always believed in you i'm so proud of you dude you're kicking ass sarah i'm so proud of you i always believed in you from the beginning ste Steve, you're the man. I always knew you were going to make it. That's what it's going to become. And I'm going to tell you right now, when all the people who said all the shit to you that they're saying now start saying how proud they are of you, it ain't going to matter to you. You're going to smile and you're going to keep on moving because you know now you're free

and you're free of the idea that other people control your path. You're free of the other, of the idea that people can control your mentality. You're free of the idea that people can control your success. And when you get to that point, now you're in a good place. Now you understand what this is about. Now you're in a place of influence. And guess what? Now you have the opportunity to improve all of those people who criticized you. You can improve their lives too. And I think that's a hell of a way to go. And I think it's something you should think about.