REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 3. Person of the Year, Dump Protocol, Etc.

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

The third official episode of Real AF with Andy Frisella.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions In a project livin', spoke it to the existence Mode changed to 50, got more cars than did I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250 What's up guys, this is Andy Purcell And this is the show for the realest Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of society And welcome to motherfuckin' reality

Today is a very special day And I'm gonna tell you why and delusions of society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Today is a very special day and I'm going to tell you why when I remember. In other news, I'm joined by my co-host, the pastor of disaster, DJ DJ God, otherwise known as Vaughn the Impaler. What's up, dude? I just got done with a five-hour trek through snow and ice to get here. And what car were you driving? The Honda.

The Honda what? The Honda Accord. The Honda Accord. The Honda Accord. Is that an all-wheel drive car? No, it's not. So I traded in. I parked it and got a Nissan Rogue

from Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Sounds aggressive. Yeah, from Enterprise. Sounds aggressive. Yeah, super aggressive. Sounds aggressive. You know that's fucking wild for you, bro. It is wild, but you know what's crazy? Moving away from St. Louis, you start to realize, you know how badly I wanted to move back to Manhattan and the small college town,

but you realize that there are some really pretty positive things about a major metropolitan area. One thing is that they actually clean off the streets quicker realize that there are some really pretty positive things about a major metropolitan area one thing is that they actually clean off the streets quicker because you know all the snow came down what was it yesterday and by 9 30 or 10 still snowing in the morning well no no no yeah around st louis there's they're scraping off the thing but in manhattan yesterday okay all the snow came down and by 10 o'clock it was still like still like the whole city was blanketed by snow. Yeah.

Yeah. Sounds like a fucking war zone, Drew. Yeah. All right. So sitting in the third seat today, and if you don't know and you haven't figured out yet, we've got a new format of show. It's me and Vaughn in the third seat. And in the third seat today is someone who will be a regular on the show consistently, not every episode, but when we don't have a guest that is from the outside,

my man, Mr. Sal Frisella, who's also my brother and also never beat me up in his entire life. He's sitting in the third seat. Thanks for having me. I think I'm 1-0. I'm the belt champion right now. No, you're 10,001. No, no.

Okay, yeah, but we reset. You know what I mean? Whenever I turn 37, we reset. No, we did not. Yeah. You did not win that fight, bro. You did not win that fight. I appreciate you guys having me.

If you're counting that as a win, I feel bad for you. What do I say? Draw? You didn't win. I don't know if I won either. I know this. Afterwards, I felt like I was going to die. The story we got last time, or maybe you were the one that told it, was that you

blindsided me. He's talking about our most recent fight. Oh, oh. I was not privy to that one. That is true. For you guys listening, that was about three months ago. What's it like? What's it like working together?

Some days it's great. Yeah. Some days it's physical. HR doesn't like it. Well, and the good news is that's the workout of the day. So, like, you know, you're sore, you know, so you know you did things. Bro, I will tell you what. I left that day, and I'm like, you know what?

I'm going to have to start running. I actually thought of you guys the other day because I rewatched Braveheart and you know he and his buddy Hamish in that they're just

they're pals but they're literally punching each other out half the time I'm like yeah that's the Frisellas right there William Wallace is a bad motherfucker

how are you going to be friends with somebody if you never fought him before that's a good question you know what I'm saying you're going to laugh I don't even know that I should probably even say this on air but like literally i was telling my guys today and i'm like you know if i was over there and i was in that building i'd

already fought the motherfuckers dude probably can't say that but that's how i lead so hey man you know what um i think that's something we should bring back in society did you guys see that thing that i posted the other day in Peru? How they have a day where you beat the shit out of your- Call them out. Yeah, your enemy for the year, you beat them up, and you might get your ass kicked too, but you have a fight. Get a cleanse.

Yeah, and then afterwards you go drink beer. I like that. Yeah, but see, that's what we don't have in America anymore. We don't have rites of passage like that. Well, when I grew up, we did. Well, you do. There's just the repercussions are a little bit different. Oh, now we got these guys who feel like they got to, well, as I know, they got to pull a knife or they got to pull a gun or they got to fucking, you know, like there's no more of this.

I'm going to kick your ass and we're going to be friends afterwards. It's kind of a shame, though, because some of my best friends, we started out like that. You settle it like men, right? That's true. Sometimes, listen, I wrote a, whenever I was, when Enzo was being born. Settle it like men.

That's so anti-PC. Dude, what was? You're such a misogynist. Well, yeah, I wrote a letter to Enzo when he was being born, and I was telling him it's like the 10 best lessons i've learned in life and one of them was sometimes the answer you really are an egotistical motherfucker you think he's gonna come out reading i mean my girls are two they know the abcs and they can count to 20 yeah they are pretty smart but that's how i told him you know sometimes the the the best answer is a long walk and sometimes the

best answer is a sledgehammer you know sometimes you gotta walk, and sometimes the best answer is a sledgehammer. Sometimes you've got to walk away, and sometimes you've got to drop the hammer on that motherfucker. Right. It's true. And there's a very fine line in there. Sometimes when you've got to go for a walk is when you really want to use the hammer, and sometimes when you need the fucking hammer, you should go on the motherfucking walk. I found that to be true. Yeah.

Yeah, that's good advice. Good job. I could probably find a post. I think I might even have a good topic other than that. Yeah. Yeah, that's good advice. Good job. I could probably find a post. I think mine even might have a good topic other than that. Yeah. I was watching a movie the other day. It was called The Bells of St. Mary's, which you guys would never watch, but it was an old black and white with Bing Crosby.

He played a priest, and one of the kids was getting bullied. And the answer, this was like in the 1940s or 50s, the answer was, we're going to teach this kid how to fight. The priest? The priest was teaching this kid how to fight you know the priest the priest was teaching the kid how to fight yeah it was it was a very popular movie bro that would be like fucking cnn headline news for a week yeah like for real right now yeah like me like dude i was talking to someone promotes violence it's actually sad it is kind of like that's sad yeah you know like because i mean i think about the, I've learned a lot of really good

lessons from being in fights. You know what I mean? One, you know, you get your ass kicked. Right. It's a good lesson to learn. It is. You know why? Because you're not afraid of it then.

No, you realize getting punched in the mouth, yeah, I mean, it does hurt, but it doesn't hurt that bad. No, it hurts your pride worse. Now, did your dad teach you how to fight? My dad? Yeah, he got his boxing gloves when we were four. He didn't teach us, he made bad. No, it hurts your pride worse. Now, did your dad teach you how to fight? My dad? Yeah, he got his boxing gloves when we were four. He didn't teach us. He made us.

Okay. Well, okay, so the reason I ask that is that I never, that was just not the way my dad was wired, but I'm just kind of curious. When you learn how to fight, is it all from on-the-job training? Or do you literally- Hey, listen.

We live in a different world now. Here's the truth about fighting now. We grew up in that world of street scrapping and shit, where you were just getting fights on a playground. And if you were a better athlete, you won more than you lost. But it's different now. Now you've got people fighting as a real sport. So you have motherfuckers that have grown up their whole life

wrestling and doing MMA from the time they were six years old or four years old, those motherfuckers are going to kick your ass. I don't care how big and tough you are. So it's different now, and it's probably a good idea that it is not that way anymore because back when we were kids, there wasn't people out there training to kill you. It was more like you were arguing over, was it a foul on a basketball court

or not and then it turns into a couple times yeah and then you go back to playing yeah so it's different now you know you've got to be careful and then or there's also people who are just like fuck it i'll just kill you and that's what they do so it's just different i mean i understand why fighting is uh frowned upon for sure but uh there comes a time in everybody's life where, dude, you know, physical confrontation is going to be appropriate. You have to think about it like this. Like, you know, there's probably people listening right now and they're like, fuck, dude, you guys are just some aggressive fucking apes and blah, blah. Like, no, fuck, dude. What happens if like you're with your fucking wife and kids and there comes. Like, you should be prepared in some form to defend yourself physically, in my opinion.

I think about it all the time. Yeah. I mean, I honestly think. And if you don't think that, bro, you haven't ever had anything happen to you. And you should count your blessings. Because I've been out in the real world, and I've been, like, you know, stabbed in the fucking face. And for those of you who knew, that actually happened to me. That shit happens quick.

It happens in an instant. Well, and what's interesting now is, you know, I mean, you get this a lot more than I do, but I'll be in a Lowe's parking lot and somebody will be like, Sal! Or they'll walk up behind their car. Dude, it happened to me yesterday. And I got all my kids and I got my wife and I got all this shit going on. And they come up and they're like, you know, they're just trying to say hi. You're not even going to believe what happened to me yesterday And I got all my kids And I got my wife And I got all this shit going on And they come up And they're like You know they're just trying to say hi

You're not even going to believe What happened to me yesterday But I instantly think Alright This dude's going to rob me He's going to do something He's going to try to take one of my kids And I'm ready

Like I'm I mean And it's just I'm definitely Do I want it to happen? Fuck no I don't want it to happen But you better bet your ass Like before you get one of my kids

Or anything's going to happen You're going to have your fucking hands full Yeah No shit And not only that Dude yesterday in the gym parking lot like i sit in the in my truck or car whatever for 30 minutes before catching up on some stuff and honestly like let's be real it takes me a minute to talk myself into going in and working out it just does like i'm lazy so i have to like to like, I have to like mentally prep some peacetime there too.

No, for sure. And that's my like little time. Yeah. Yesterday I was sitting in my truck. I'm doing my, and like, dude, you know, obviously I'm pretty vulnerable in that situation because I'm looking at my phone. So I don't see what's going on around the truck. Fuck dude.

One of the guys from the gym just opened the passenger door on my fucking car to say hi. They didn't knock. Didn't say. And I fucking looked at him, and I'm like, bro, I'll shoot you in the face for that. Like, dude, you guys have to understand. Don't do that. Oh. You know what I mean?

Like, I even told him. I said. Especially now people carry. I said, dude, and I carry everywhere I go. Right. So, like, I heard the door crack, and my first instinct was to grab my fucking weapon, you know? And, and dude, I'm looking at this guy like, I'll shoot you.

Yeah. And he's looking, he's looking back at me like, what? And I'm like, dude, you cannot do that. Like you got to understand. Number one, you don't do that to anybody. Number two, you certainly don't do that to people that drive nice shit right because they're used to that three you certainly don't do it to people who drive nice shit who have also been stabbed in the fucking face before a little trigger happy yeah dude like and i'm like and i'm like a man i'm not trying to be a jerk but don't

ever do that again like yeah it's just weird to me that people don't understand that kind of common sense no you know you're right it's funny I don't know about you Sal but like with me and you guys are going to laugh at me but I actually have Kasia and I have talked about this we've got I told her I want to give her a code word or a code phrase like we're ever in a situation

where I think we're going to be mugged or something the code is basically so you're going to give her a word to protect you exactly no but have you thought of that like is this like in that heavy be mugged or something. The code is basically... So you're going to give her a word to protect you. Exactly. No, but have you thought of that? Is this like in that heavy S&M world where there's a safe word? Like when you're whipping too hard, I need a safe word. I'm hurting. No, no, no.

Basically, I told her, honey, if we're ever confronted by somebody who's threatening our lives, they're going to kill us all, so they might as well just kill me and you guys run. I've always told her, if we're ever in that situation if i attack them don't try to help take off you know what i'm saying like do you do you have that do you have like the code that you say to your wife i'm gonna tell you right that's basically like i'm gonna tell you

i'd fucking tell my wife jump in dude she's bad i'm gonna tell you your wife yeah she's a little taller and bigger than my wife my wife is on that dude's head ripping his fucking eyeballs out i promise you that yeah she is feisty and i promise you i've seen emily knock down three grown men with their fucking fists since we've known each other three wow yeah that's awesome that's impressive yeah yeah gotta get in there and help yeah i didn't ever have to help i'm saying you might have to get in there and help. Yeah. I never had to help. No, I'm saying you might have to get in there and help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you watch that, that's like, you know, that's really, you know. Nobody thinks it's fun, man.

Exciting to you. I hope I don't piss her off. Sort of, yeah. So anyway, what are we talking about today anyway? Well, I was just curious. So I don't know if you guys saw this. There's all these, you know, we're toward the end of the year. And so there's all these, you know, big, oh, I don't know, polls and stuff. And they said that in spite of all of the

marketing pushes and the cultural, you know, the different tastemakers of America trying to push different things, it remains that less than 14% of Americans are still, I mean, they're not in any way enthused about hybrid cars or driverless cars or anything like that. And I'm just, I know you're a car guy, Andy. I'm curious. You think there's something culturally about Americans that we just... Did you not watch Ford versus Ferrari? Well, I haven't seen it yet. What? I haven't seen it yet. But I mean, it's just, it's interesting because I just think the rest of the world... See, like if you were my inner circle and I can't, you know,

I guess I can say it if I'm on this show. Our friends is what we say to each other. You did something like that, and you haven't seen it, and you're asking this question, I'd be like, you should go kill yourself. But my friends, I can say that. Well, I plan to see it. You can't really say that shit. I plan to see it.

But I mean, it's just interesting because Americans historically, we like the big, heavy SUVs. We like the- I'm going to steal this directly from Andrew. He told me Tesla's cool. It's got no soul. So you have to understand, America is different, okay? In a lot of places on earth, most other places that I've been, people look at the cars as a mode of A to B.

So they're trying... It's not what it is to Americans typically. American culture starting in the 50s and even before that, cars were a reflection of personality. So they became something that people took pride in and sort of attached what they felt their personality was. And that's where that shit started. So people started customizing and doing all this crazy stuff. And dude, the culture of cars in America is more so about identity and experience

than it is transportation. A lot of people don't understand that. Like, there's definitely a whole lot of people in America that look at it A to B, right? No problem with that. They drive Honda Accord. Yeah, that's cool, man. For real.

You know, yeah. Yeah, and they always decide to look at car people and think oh that motherfucker's just doing that to show off or this or that he's got a little dick yeah right those are people that don't get it it's like it's like fashion not everybody understands fashion not everybody understands art nor do they care yeah right but people for some reason they look at cars that and when they don't get it they think it's a status thing it's not a status thing it's an experience thing you know what i mean so i mean it is a status thing for certain people but we're talking about people who have the real passion for cars um like i do and

you do and dave does we all have that even tyler has it we i mean he we, I mean, what do you think, Dave? I mean, you're a fucking car guy. I mean, I think there's definitely multiple types of car guys in America, especially. But I think when it comes down to like true enthusiasts, I think, like you said, it's more about making the car like an extension of them right you know what i mean right and um like translating like their identity through that car yeah so i think that a lot of like the trend right now with cars is going away from something that's more oriented towards the driver and it's becoming more objective you You know, let's make the most efficient, you know, whatever. And at the same time, there's a big group of people in America,

especially, I think, that push back against that. Obviously, they're still going to sell a lot of them, you know, because the majority of the population is going to want that efficient car. But there's going to be pushback. Right, yeah. Well, I mean, it's just like Dave. Dave doesn't want to identify as an Asian, but he's an asian he won't drive an asian car he's a german he loves the german machines i like a lot of stuff no he likes he likes a lot of stuff

he's got gtr listen i sold that oh you did yeah it's gone oh man no but i think to von's point like yeah i mean the reason that people are unassumed by hybrid cars is because they're very unassuming. Well, dude, they're cool, right? Like, I can always tell what kind of car person is by the people who talk about how cool Teslas are. Like, no offense. Dude, I respect the tech. I respect Musk. It's fast as fuck.

I think it's awesome. It's cool, zero to 60 but like when i post a picture of like my 1970 chevelle that i literally like worship as far as the baddest car i've ever seen in my life and they're like my fucking tesla will beat it good don't give a shit like that's not what cars are about those are like people who don't experience they don't understand the experience of a car there's a certain experience it's visceral it's personal it's you you know you hit the the accelerator it makes a noise it makes a certain smell you feel a certain way dude i even do that with my son right you know like i want him to experience that power and the smell and you just can't get that with a tesla it's the truth well we wrote we were raised a little differently though andrew and i were like you could put us in a situation like if the plane was going down you would call

us and be like hey can you help fly this plane yeah we can get in there and figure it out we were raised around motors like our entire lives from fifth you know little 50s and 80s and 125s everything written everything it's got two wheels three wheels four wheelers i don't give a fuck like i want to hit the throttle and get in it and get after it. And I think there's a great portion of America that was raised that way. You know what I mean? Probably the same people who fought each other. Do you think gasoline is absolutely essential to that experience of the car?

Because I'm just in a- Currently? Well, I'm saying, do you think the reason why- Well, no, because you could get that with a big diesel truck, too. Well, what I mean by that is that- You're saying fossil fuels. Well, no, because you could get that with a big diesel truck, too. Well, what I mean by that is that— They're saying fossil fuels. Well, what I mean by that is that, do you think there's just the nature of electric cars, that there's just no way that they could be as cool as a gasoline car? I wouldn't say that.

I would say that currently, they're not doing it, and the technology is new, and they haven't been able to create that kind of feel with the technology yet. So I would say currently, absolutely, that's true. But that doesn't mean that it'll be true in five years or 10 years. So that could change. You know what I mean? Like Tesla could come out with a new, I mean, fuck, on the early MSCO podcast, I fucking made a whole episode about how Harley will never make an electric bike. And then they're fucking making it.

Yeah, and it's fast. Yeah. But, dude, I'm going to tell you what. There's a huge segment of Harley-Davidson that's not going to ride Harley-Davidson because they make that electric bike. Yeah, well, and there are some things. You can see that it's unassuming. Even in the new M5, they're piping in electronic exhaust inside the car

so you get a better visceral feel. Right. So you think it's loud inside, but that's a noise. It's coming through the audio. They're piping in electronic exhaust inside the car so you get a better visceral feel. Right. So you think it's loud inside, but that's a noise. It's coming through the audio. Like, it's actually a plug-in play. You know what I'm saying? So, like, yes, there's got to be some research to, like, people want to hear the sound and, you know, they want to feel that, right?

Because they, like, sensory-wise, they associate that with coolness. Yeah. Makes me badass. People always say that to me. Like, you guys out there that drive Teslas, you ain't that fucking cool, okay? Like, you're not, you got, what do you have that's that cool? I will tell you, that 100D is fast as fuck. It's fast.

But like, dude, I don't get. I'm with you. I agree. People say to me, like, if I post a picture of a car that I like, or one that I own or whatever, they always got to say it. Like, the Tesla motherfuckers always got to say it. Fuck, here's a picture of my Tesla. I'm like, and then they say this. You know what they say next, Dave.

Ooh, you beat that car in a drag race. Oh, yeah. Get the fuck out of here, dude. Yeah, you're going to drag race straight into fucking the Apple store with your fucking Harry Potter glasses and then on to Starbucks and sit there and pretend like you're somebody.

Get the fuck out of my face. I don't know. I like Apple and Starbucks. I'm just saying. Well, dude, I'm just saying. I'm not commenting on everybody's Tesla picture and being like, bro, that'd be like fucking your sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, because that's what I think. But we were, like, I think for, you know, I speak for Andrew and I, we were from that era where, you know, my dad, you know, we rode horses, we rode dirt bikes, we fought each other. Like, that's part of what it is. But we have that love for motors. Like, he sent me a 1977 Chevy 350 van yesterday. Yeah, with airbrush on the side and shag carpeting on the floor, bitch. All original.

That was the shit. But that's fucking cool. You know what I mean? Like, there's a huge, and some people don't give a shit about that. Most people be like, you go to the car show and everybody's like, why the fuck is that thing there? Yeah, but it's just cool. Yeah, and it's like, because it's fucking awesome. You know what I mean? It's an era. It's a time. It tells a story. I mean, there's a lot

of dudes that got laid in the back of that van. I think they should DNA check that carpet. Oh, dude. There's some Daves running around. No, no, no, no, no. They spray that bitch with, what's that shit called? Luminol. It'd be glow in the dark.

Fucking some dead bodies. You know what I mean? Y'all want to see a dead body? You ever seen Boys in the Hood? It's been a long time, but I still haven't seen it. You've got to go back. I still haven't seen what it's the one you want to make. It's Straight Outta Compton.

I still haven't seen that one. What? How do you not see that? That's a good movie. I know I got to. Dude, you should watch it. I watched Boys in the Hood. This was about, I don't know, two months ago or something.

It was Saturday night and Raquel had fallen asleep and Boys in the Hood was on. It was fucking awesome. Boys in the Hood is a good movie. It reminded me of Marco Glogovac. Why? Because we couldn't, remember, like dad would never let us have that shit in our house or mom would never let us, but Marco was one of our friends.

That wasn't the movie. It was the fucking soundtrack. Yeah, dude. Yeah. The soundtrack. I'll tell you what that reminds me of, though. Our buddy Marco back then, you know,

his parents were a little bit more liberal in the sense of like, well, you know, like Marco, he probably had some extra playboys in the house, you know what I mean? And we watch that movie over there

and I remember, dude, I was thinking, God damn, this is fucking good. You know? Y'all want to see a dead body? remember, dude, I was thinking, God damn, this is fucking good. Yeah. Y'all want to see a dead body? Yeah. That's some good shit, man.

That reminds me of the time that I completely, completely stymied you because you didn't think that I knew any. Yeah. I mean, it was my moment of pride where I actually proved that I actually knew some The only thing you proved is that you should have played the character of the guy in office space who was rapping to himself and rolled the window up. The same guy that went out and beat the fucking printer up in the field to express his anger. Sal and Andy didn't believe that I knew some Eazy-E and NWA lyrics.

And he does. I had to prove them wrong. Call him on it. It's fucking good. I spit some bars, but we're not going to do it right now. Anyway, guys, I don't know if you saw the, you know, every year around this time we have the time person of the year. I don't know if you saw who it was. Did you see who it was, Andy?

Yes. Yes. It was Greta Thunberg, who I don't know if anybody knows who she is. By now, you probably do. She's the 16-year-old, what is she from, like Sweden? And she's the eco-warrior. How dare you bring this onto my show, Vaughn? How dare you?

I know, I know. Jesus. But yeah, so I don't know hey look here's the deal what do you think look look okay should she have been time person here fuck no okay but with that being said I have a lot of respect for someone who wants to stand up against criticism and who believes in their cause and who wants to be out there and do that. But the fact of the matter is, is there was just a number of better choices. just parade her around and let her like basically yell at everybody and say, you stole my childhood and you did this and did that while she flies around on a fucking airplane that puts out more fossil fuel emissions than, you know what I'm saying? Like a lot of what's

going on with this just doesn't add up. And I think people are pretty smart to, most people are pretty smart to recognize that there's an agenda being pushed there, which I don't even think is a bad agenda. Like, should we take care of the planet? Yeah. Should we do better as humans? Yes. Should we try to be conscious of environmental issues?

Sure. I agree with that. But what I don't agree with is parading a 16-year-old girl around the world as a spokesperson to push an agenda so much so that she gets to be on the cover of Time magazine when there's literally thousands and thousands and thousands and probably tens of thousands of people who would be better choices. Yeah, what goes through my mind when I see something like that with her on the front cover is I just say, how does the conversation play out? What does it teach, bro? What does it teach? It teaches us that to be relevant in today's world, all you have to do is bitch about stuff. You know what I'm saying? Like, what is she doing to fix it and not only that

and I'm sure she's doing some things okay but I mean what about people who are truly contributing to things that are good happening like they're actually doing the shit. They're not just saying, don't do that. I don't know. What is the criteria to be time person of the year? That's what I want to know. What is the criteria? I think she's being used as a pawn. That's my problem with it.

You don't disagree. You don't sit there and say the cause is ridiculous. It's a good cause. It's a great cause, but you're taking perspective, you know, from a young girl who screams and yells and then the media grabs onto it and they can run with it. It's ridiculous. Yeah. I mean.

It's ridiculous. I look at, on the flip side, right? Now, dude, I will say this is my other fucking thing on it. Like I said something about it on the MFCEO project a while back, I think, didn't I? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is an old old this is kind of an older story um and i got a lot of people who hit me up and they're like yeah motherfucker pretty cool for a uh 39 year old dude to fucking blah blah blah blah blah you know

and trash you know what i'm not trying to trash anybody. I just think it's ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what it comes down to. And I do think that people should be very careful how they address her because this is a young person. This is a 16-year-old girl. And we have people coming out from, you know, the far right of society being like, fuck her, she's a piece of shit. No, she's not.

That doesn't mean anything. She's trying to do something that she thinks is good. That's right. Try to imagine someone being 16 years old or yourself 16 years old and how you would handle that sort of attack. I don't believe that that's okay to just attack, but I don't agree that that's the right choice attack. But I don't agree that that's the

right choice either. And I think that's how most people feel about it. Dude, Justin Bieber. Yeah, I brought Justin Bieber onto your show. He made a post about- Bieber's going to be on the show. He's a stud, man. Yeah. And I gained a great deal of respect from him from this post. This was probably six months ago. I'll look it up. I'll send it to you. But he's actually a pretty good writer. He writes these little things to himself and then he posts them, but he wrote, he's like, you know, I realized that I've been an asshole in life and I've, I've realized I've done a lot of wrong things. But all I ask is that for your tolerance to put yourself in my shoes, I was a 14 year old little boy. I made more money than anybody knew what to do. I never had to cut the grass. I know,

don't know how to, you know, uh, reel up a garden hose. I don't know how to do the basic necessities of life because people did those for me and i wasn't forced to grow up to become a young man and so when i was given all this money and all this opportunity i did what any other 14 16 18 year old guy would do i would buy lamborghinis and race him and get drunk and do all these things because nobody would tell him no right he had no rules you know so i read that post from him and it was like an understanding because i used to think he was a turd. Bro, that's a huge realization. Yeah, I thought he was a turd. And, you know, after that moment, I thought, you know what?

I like this fucking kid. Well, Sal, the thing is, bro, is we don't know what it's like to be someone else. There's only like 10 people that could say that have been in his shoes. It's not just him. It's anybody versus anybody. Right. We don't know. Look, man, I don't know what it's like

to not be me. Like, I don't fucking know. Like, I don't know what it's like to be you. And I don't know what it's like to be you. And I don't know what it's like to be you.

And I don't know what it's like for you to see me. We're all in that same scenario. So there's a, in my opinion, there's a lot of fucking, you could really tell

a lot about people by how they judge people off of, off of one or two sentences or one. And that's, you know, like I think as a society, it's probably a good idea that we all try to like, remember that. You know what I mean? Like, you don't know what it's like to be this, uh, Greta who is 16 years old with fucking half the world being like, fuck you.

Shut the fuck up. Like, dude, we're, I mean, I think as adults, we're kind of past that we're, we should be better than that.

Right. You know? So like, and I'll be honest, the first time I spoke about it, I hadn't, you know, I poked a little fun myself cause it was funny.

Yeah. Like the, how dare you think it makes me giggle. Like, I think it's actually funny. Right. For real. Yeah. I still think it's fucking funny. Yeah. Like the how dare you thing, it makes me giggle. Like I think it's actually funny. Right. For real. Yeah.

I still think it's fucking funny. I do too. Like it was ridiculous. But as a grown man, I think it's something that all adults should remember is that she's 16 and she's not in control of her whole entire life. And she has people in her ear saying, go say this and it'll do this. Go do this and it'll do this go do this and it'll do this that's not cool because people are then using their agenda to push on to her to make her go out and she takes the fucking heat for it so i don't like that shit yeah i don't that's my point of

being a pawn but yes but do i think that's her fault no i do not i think she's i think she is i think she fucking believes wholeheartedly in what she's saying. Yeah, she's saying she thinks she's right. Why wouldn't she believe that? That's why she has so much passion. That's, well, why wouldn't she believe that when the people she loves the most are the ones telling her that? That's right. So let's not, if she says dumb shit, let's not jump all over her case.

The bottom line is, are there people more deserving to be fucking time person of the year i think yes yeah lots of them i think joe burrow did you see the kid that won the heisman this weekend of course did you see his speech yeah it's fucking rad it was awesome did you see it no it was awesome dude i know he's a stud though he's a stud a lot of people hate him well the thing that was cool about it is, you know, I think when you have the emotion, like, you know, he cried. He was thanking people, and he got real deep, and then he started talking about the homeless population from where he's from.

And he started talking, you know, and he was basically sharing the award with them because he comes from a town where the average population of homeless is, I think, double the nation's average. And he was talking about fighting for those kids. And it was cool, right? You're using a platform. He's a little bit older than a 16. He's got a little bit of perspective.

And he could choose that time to talk about him. And he's choosing that time to raise awareness around, let's not talk about me. Let's thank all my linemen. Let's thank my coaches. And let's talk about where I'm from and how we can help those people. He raised a couple hundred grand. And look, I'm not even saying him.

But I'm just saying the list is fucking long i get it yeah i get it like it is it's long and she ain't at the front of it yeah like sal forsella right exactly man of the year listen like you said the other day no bullshit i know motherfuckers in real life that have done more good in this 12 months than she will ever fucking do in her life yeah nobody even knows their name you know what i'm saying no absolutely saying? No, absolutely. So, I'm pretty confident in what I'm saying. There's a long list, and she don't belong in the front of it. No.

That's what I'm saying. And Times Magazine is using it to sell some issues. That's right. Because magazines are dead. And that goes back to what we were saying on the first episode, I believe, of this, which I'm going to say a million fucking times because it's truth.

It's manipulation. It's media shoving a fucking story in your face to consume so that you choose to either believe it or go so much against it that you talk about it which is what we're doing now so we're being fucking pawns ourself yeah what else but but on the subject of joe burrows just real quick uh joe burrow does this coach not have the best voice of any coach in the history of football that dude sounds like he came out the movie water boy what's his name and he is from lsu so the water boy the geographic region would be appropriate yeah yeah no it's um it's interesting i you know so another real interesting

thing that i came across is i well first i gotta you this. This is my sort of segue into our next topic. Oh, are you going to be funny too? Oh, no. Are you going to announce how funny you're going to be? I'm actually going to declare my, no, but. You know, usually when you have a segue and you're trying to be funny, you don't announce it. You don't tell them you're coming. If you're going to rob somebody, you don't tell them you're coming.

I'm still learning the ropes. Hey, baby. In about three minutes, I'm going to whip out my dick. Side note, I did actually announce to my wife. What? You did? I did actually announce to my wife when I was going to kiss her. I said, I'm about to kiss you.

Of course you did. Good story, Vaughn. This is where I would tell my friends, go kill yourself. This is where I would say to all of you listening, please make some sort of meme sound clip out of that. Yes. Holy shit. Yes. Yes. Holy shit.

No. Favorite video game growing up? I know what his favorite game was. It was Legend of Zelda. Man, we played a lot of Zelda. What are you talking about? No, you want to know why it was not Sal's favorite game? Why? Because you beat his ass?

Fucking right, dude. I would get so pissed off at that game, and he'd be sitting there talking shit, and I would throw that controller at the TV and then beat his ass? Fucking right, dude. I would get so pissed off at that game, and he'd be sitting there talking shit, and I would throw that controller at the TV and then beat his ass. I will tell you, Andrew. This happened so many times that my mom banned us from playing Zelda. We were not even allowed to play it. Did you break any controllers? I guarantee you, if there is a fucking store,

Andrew is in the short fucking top two In the world Of broken Nintendo controllers Yeah The reason my mom Actually fucking Well there was no reason She just stopped Buying us remote controls

We couldn't have any Fucking more controllers Yeah So we had to stop playing Yeah That's funny But no we played a lot I mean we played a lot

RBI baseball Would probably be my favorite I played a fucking And a ton of Tetris Tecmo Bowl Tetris Tetris was good We played a fucking

Assload of Tetris. Dude, I was thinking there were some computer games, too, that we used to play that were good, man. We used to go... What was that store at Crestwood Mall? Babbage's. Babbage's, man. Good call. Yeah. Fuck, man. Babbage's. Fuck, I remember Babbage's, bro.

Was that a local chain or was that a national chain? I don't know. I think they're gone now, though. It's like the GameStop back then. So how many, I'm just curious, how many hours a week in your, like, in the golden era of you guys playing video games? We weren't allowed to play for like that. Like, we were allowed to play a little bit, but most of the time we played outside. Yeah, and the thing is, is like, we were consumed in a lot of fucking sports.

Yeah. So, you know, like when we played video games, it would be like, we would go to, our parents are divorced, so we would go, and we'd play with my dad all day, we'd have sports, and then by the time we showered and went home, we would play video games

from like 10 to midnight or something. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And then go to bed. Like it wasn't like, we didn't wake up and play, that type of shit,

it wouldn't, that's not how we were raised. Well, it's interesting, New York Times Magazine reports that the World Health Organization has just added a new disorder to the list of substance abuse and addictive behaviors. Screen time. Yeah. It's actually, they call it a gaming disorder because there's a rise, especially among kids in the United States of America, there's a rise of literally addictive levels of playing games.

And I've got to be honest with you, I've never been a gamer. So I don't really get... I mean, I played the video games when we were younger, but it just... You played that Leisure Suit Larry game, right? Right. I know what Leisure Suit Larry is. That's right. Hey, you motherfuckers listening, you never know what that is.

Go Google that shit. Leisure Suit Larry video game. Tyler, you know what it is? Oh, that's funny. They got a man's version for that. He was on there trying to write everybody a book. For all the girls. Problem is the graphics back then weren't very good.

Terrible. So it was like dot matrix type of stuff. But no, but I mean, it does, you know, so it seems like you just have this increasing number of like, what's behind that? Why are, why are, like, why are young men,

why specifically are young men spending so much time on a screen? Well, look, I'll fucking tell you this right now, the games they make now are fucking awesome.

Yeah. Like, we were addicted to these cubes going back and forth, like, these motherfuckers are, like, playing games with,

like, real people in them dude not to mention you can make six fucking figures yeah okay seven i was just gonna get in on that so it's different now you know there's actually a career path for video games that is you know i feel bad for parents right now because like damned if you do yeah that's right like parents are like you know dude one of the private high schools here just built a gaming facility, okay? Like, how many kids are using that as an excuse to not do shit? 98% of them.

I agree. Yeah. But then you could take that argument and you could say, well, 98% of the kids that are playing baseball when we were kids were fucking wasting their time. Yeah. Right. So, you know, there's a new argument to be had. The only thing I can share is my perspective on it. I can tell you this.

This is the truth. In 2006, 7, 8, I played Call of Duty and I got into the fucking like top, top ranks of Call of Duty. I was like, we were good. He did too. And we would all get on there and we would play every night. And we would play. And this went on for like three or four years where we would play. We would get home from our job and we would play till fucking 3, 4 in the morning every day.

Every fucking day. Yeah. And I'd get drunk as a skunk. Yeah. And so we'd sit there and drink and talk shit on the headsets to each other and play fucking Call of Duty. And I do have to say, it was fucking a lot of fun. It was awesome.

It was a lot of fun, man. It was so awesome that I seriously want to buy the new game because Alex is in it, too. Yeah. One of our good friends, Alex. She's in it as a character, and I want to buy it, dude. Like, so bad. But I know what's going to happen when I fucking buy the motherfucker. We won't see Andrew.

Dude, I have a 4,000-inch fucking theater in my house, okay? It's ridiculous. And I had the motherfucker put PS4 on it. He's like, you want PlayStation on it? And I'm like, yeah. Knowing, I'm just thinking, like maybe I'm going to make a comeback, you know? Dude. But here's what happened this is no bullshit and people kids get mad when i say this shit they're like okay fucker i'm gonna be a pro gamer no you ain't you might be pretty good the chances you're gonna be

ninja are fucking zero okay so here's where it comes in kids gotta learn to tell the truth and i hope that the kids that are listening will understand what I'm saying with some context, okay? There's nothing wrong with playing some fucking video games. But when it becomes a 12-hour obsession every single day, and you're not going to become a pro, and you know you're not going to become a pro, now you're just lying to yourself. And that's going to cost you a lot of money. So I can tell you for me, I wasted four years of my business life playing fucking video games, four solid years, meaning I would have been where I'm at now in 2016 had I not done that. It's truth. It's true story

because the minute I quit playing, I started focusing on my career and my business. And that's when we grew five years at 100% growth in the worst economy ever because I quit playing video games. And that's true. I mean, I know that to be true. And secondarily, to have the baseball conversation versus the team sport video gamers, I want to touch on two points here. One, there's a lot of shit that you learn in team sports that you cannot learn in video. That's right.

You learn struggle, you learn conflict, like meaning real conflict. You know how many fights I've been in on baseball diamond? Like a lot. I've been in a lot of motherfucking fights, dude. And so, you know,

but learning how to work together as a team. What's that? Did you win any of them? I got the office bill. That's all that matters. Right now, I'm the reigning champ of WWE. I've been walking around with a gold belt on my shoulder. We should fucking fight.

I won quite a bit of fights. We should get in a fight and charge tickets for people to come watch. 30 for the kids. Yeah, let's do it. But secondarily, I think a lot of non-responsible parents are quick to give their phone to their kids. Me and you versus other two guys. I'd take that all day.

That's fine. If your brother's out there, we challenge you. Man, that's actually a pretty good idea. What happens if they're not real brothers? What happens if we took on like a tag team? Yeah, like Jose Canseco and fucking Ozzy. What's his brother's name? Dude, what happens if we could get like

like, I don't know, the Nasty Boys. Yeah, Buff. Or like, you know. Does The Rock have a brother? No, but some of the good tag teams of history. Like, what was the one, the Legion of Doom? Yeah, dude. Like, we could get.

That'd be pretty cool. Forget all their names. Those guys are badass, though. One of them actually passed away, but the other one is James Laronitis' father. Dad, yeah. I flew in an airplane with him one time. You told me that. Yeah, he was really cool.

But back to the- I'm not sure I would fuck with him. He's pretty old, but he still looks tough as fuck. Dude, those guys are fucking good athletes. Yeah. But back to the screen time, I think a lot of irresponsible parents are quick to give their kids the screen, and then they become addicted to the screen, and then it builds a bad habit over a long period of time.

I think it would fall underneath the spectrum where we're looking at those problems, right? But when you start looking at gaming as a way of life, for the 98% who don't make it, whether it be football, baseball, wrestling, I think the skills or talents or bond, and I don't know because I've never played in a team fucking video game sport outside Call of Duty, I just find it very hard to believe that the bonds are similar because there's no physical sacrifice. Those kind of bonds can only happen when there's physical pain that is shared.

Like, for example, like, you know, people talk about, this is an extreme example, but guys that get out of prison, they feel like they're very lonely because they missed the camaraderie that they have with the other guys. Well, the reason they have that camaraderie with the other guys is because they've all suffered together. Struggle. Yeah. Right.

And that has, that, that goes with like. Anything. Well, and a lot, you know, people fucking pay me lots of money to help fix their fucking businesses. One of the things that I tell all of them and none of them fucking do is I said, figure out a way to train together. Run together, work out together. Go do an Ironman together. Do something together. Yeah, shovel rocks.

It don't matter. Right. But do something that makes you sweat that you can all look up at the end and say, damn, dude, I got respect. He's a hard worker. He's a hard worker. And you know what? If we all work, you know what I mean?

So, like, I have a hard time believing that you can get that through gaming. I don't know if you can. Maybe you can. Yeah. I just have a hard – because from my experience, I know a couple things about fucking building teams. There has to be pain. There just has to be. Bond is always

forged through struggle. I tell you what, it is kind of crazy though, the stuff that is associated with the gaming industry. One of the little kids that I used to babysit literally owns a team. You know how Mark Cuban owns the Dallas Mavericks? Well, this guy, this kid who

grew up and he lives in Las Vegas, he owns a gaming team. Oh, Vaughn. It's crazy. There's a fucking shit ton of money to be made in. I know. I mean, he's a very smart kid. Yeah, but that's not what I'm saying.

And that's not what Sal's saying. Because it's a very difficult concept to like, like I made a TikTok video and I said, I just showed some of my cars and i said dude i this is all happened after i quit gaming and fucking every motherfucking kid was like oh i'm sure ninja would say different well you know what motherfucker ninja i don't want to be ninja and if i took if i was to be ninja i would be taking step backwards a huge one so get the point like you probably can get to a certain level through video games but there's a certain level you ain't getting to as well.

And that's something that people don't get. I don't know who Ninja is. He's the, I guess, one of the big dogs in gaming. But the point is, I Googled up what he made, and I was like, yeah, okay, that's nice. But my point stands. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And I know that's a douchey way of bragging, but I don't give a fuck. It's the truth. Like, I wouldn't want to take that. I wouldn't do that. The other side, the grown side is good for him. Yeah, exactly.

Big ass. If that's what you want, fuck yeah, bro. Good luck. And I support that. So that's the dichotomy of what I'm trying to explain. Like, I think that's cool. If you're really going to do it, go fucking do it. Yeah.

That's all I'm saying. But be realistic. That's right. Tell the truth to yourself don't be one of these fucking kids who's telling their parents i'm doing this because i'm going to be a pro gamer just because you don't want to do anything else because you're lazy that's right and you know the difference and you know the difference when you're 13 years old you know i'm saying so and if you're a parent learn the difference too know when your kids bullshit you when they're not because a lot of parents also i hear this shit a lot too saying so and if you're a parent learn the difference too know when your kid's bullshitting

you're when they're not because a lot of parents also i hear this shit a lot too oh well you know i let my kids play games because he's going to be a pro gamer well you're they're doing it because they don't want to raise their kids that's right they don't want to take them to the ice rink and they want to take them to fucking practice that's right i want to take them you know you know what i don't want it like you do for enzo and the They don't want to take them to fucking practice. That's right. They don't want to take them, you know. You know what? I don't want to. Like you do for Enzo and the girls. Fuck, man. Yeah. I mean.

I can see where it gets old. I know. But so we have a two-sided party here that's creating an unfavorable outcome for people's lives. Yeah. And sometimes it's the parents. Sometimes it's the kids. And this scenario that I'm describing where the kid is lying to himself and just using as a shelter to

play the game and the parent is looking the other way because they don't want to do the shit that is the norm that's not the anomaly that's the norm and that norm has a bad outcome that's real bad and people are refusing to accept that because when you say hey maybe you shouldn't have them do they're gonna say well's going to be a pro gamer. He can earn a college scholarship this way. Yeah, right. So what are you getting Enzo for Christmas? I mean, I guess since he doesn't listen to the show, I can tell you.

You can't. I am a firm believer of buying things around sports and work. And they can still be fun. Yeah. But, like, I use my side-by-side at home for work. I bring around mulch and sticks and leaves, and be fun yeah but like i use my side by side at home for work i'm bringing around mulch and sticks and leaves and i always have them help me so i bought him his own now it's in a little electric one it's like a power wheel yeah it's like a power wheel but it's a john deere peg parego makes it it's a it's a side by side and it's got a little bed on

it and what he likes a gator like it looks yeah it's a gator yeah and he goes around but not a real gator no yeah just a mini one a mini one. With the electric and stuff. Yeah. Right. And he loves to move mulch. And if we use it tonight, it's snow. And he shovels all the shit and he moves it to a different part of the yard and dumps it. Dude, you ought to bring him over tonight to my house when we'll go down that big-ass hill on the sled.

He probably would not back down. Yeah. He's fucking fearless. But, you know, like, i always want to have this core mission like if it's not athletics it's work you know what i mean and you can have fun doing both and so i try to create him always all my kids i try to put him in an environment where we're active we're moving do you understand work how much ass that kid is going to kick in his life it's gonna be fun no dude he's gonna kick all the ass because all the other parents are sticking their kid in front of a screen.

And you're down here grooming fucking Rambo. That's how I feel too, man. Well, you know, you talk about how you raise him. This motherfucker's going to be like the Chuck Norris of fucking high schoolers. He's just going to come in and just. That's right. All the other kids are going to be like, there's this kid, but he's Enzo and I'm not Enzo. Well, and that's, I mean, okay, so you think it's weird, but I think that.

I don't think it's fucking weird at all. I love it. I'm in the shower, and I'm like, all right, well, how do I, you know, like, what am I doing? I try to self-evaluate and try to have that conversation. And so I always want to, you know, because I don't want to be- I'm just speaking for the parents that are listening. Know that there is parents out there that are grooming their kids to destroy yours.

Yes, that is true. But I'll never be the super parent either who's like fucking screaming and yelling at their kid. When it's time to let the coach go coach my kid. But I'm going to raise a young little man. He's going to work hard. He's going to be very athletic. I'm going to train him. I'm going to let him train.

And he's either going to wrestle or do BJJ. I'm going to get him in there and let him roll. Let him get comfortable with fucking getting his ass kicked and kicking ass. Dude, to be as well-rounded as he possibly could be when life presents him with whatever opportunity it is. That's my goal. And so what do I buy him for Christmas? I buy him things that will help build his well-roundedness.

That's kind of where we're going because, I mean, frankly, we've bought some of the, you know, the little play sets and the dolls and stuff like that. And literally the girls get tired of that like in 15 minutes. And so we've tried to do kind of somewhat similar along your vein is that we try to expose them to like different experiences. And like I was really personally gratified that I asked Lila what she wanted for Christmas. And she said, I want to go to a K-State basketball game with you, Daddy. And I was like, that's really personally gratified that I asked Lila what she wanted for Christmas.

And she said, I want to go to a K-State basketball game with you, Daddy. And I was like, that's awesome. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So, I mean, it's like active stuff, getting them out and about, you know. And I took the girls out. We went outside. We were doing a bunch of stuff.

I mean, obviously, it's getting really cold now. They make coats. What's that? They make coats. Yeah, yeah. No, exactly. You spent too much time in the city, dude. You got that city slicker blood now.

But it is fun. It's fun to- Let's see your calluses. Here's what's really interesting. What's that? You got any calluses? Not yet. I hope I will because I'll be going out in the field.

I told Kasha what I really want. This is what I really want for Christmas. I want a pair of Dickies. What? You know what those are? Yeah, we know what they are. What the fuck do you want them? Coveralls? I want

coveralls. I don't have them yet, so I want them. I'm going to tell you right now. Every man needs a good set of coveralls. If you live in the Midwest and you don't have a good set of coveralls, you ain't a man. Yeah, that's probably true, which I guess I'm not a man yet, but I will be soon.

But you know what size you wear, Ron? I was at Chris's house yesterday. Dude, I was at Chris's house yesterday, and I shit in his toilet and clogged it up. I swear to God, this is a true story. So I couldn't find his plunger. So what do you do when you can't find the plunger in someone's house? You fucking look for it. Right.

Going to the actual person and telling them, hey, bro, I just clogged your toilet up with a massive dump is like last scenario. Okay? It is Chris. It is Chris, but it's Mindy was home. Yeah. So my first question was, is Mindy here? And he's like, yeah.

And I'm like, all right, I got to go on a mission. So dude, so listen, this is the fucking truth dude so man i got a funny story about this dude i can tell you i think i told you before about when i was up in kansas city i was dating that girl brooke oh dude this all right i will tell that story in one second yeah so this is about the coveralls though like i was searching for the the uh the plunger by the way chris i know you fucking listen every bathroom needs a plunger every single one i do agree with that we've got yeah and for this situation that's right because it creates hospitality creates a very awkward scenario what if we were having a party and because i couldn't find the plunger because

there's only one fucking plunger in his house that's dude that is a party foul if you have people in your house for any reason whatsoever and i know they're not cool looking but if you made a plunger look nice someone could sell a billion of them they've got them they got like little trapdoor ones they're creating i got one of those but i'm saying like if you made it look like something else like you may look like a little plant and you're like but it ain't a plant you know what I'm saying like that's not a bad idea I'm all about the free some of you one of you dudes could go out there and make that and make a lot of money I'm telling you dude just cut me off a little piece I'm all about giving out anyway I know it's a good idea it could work but I got too many things going right so I don't mind

sharing it so I fucking I go I go in his closet, dude. I'm looking for the plunger. I go down to the basement. I'm looking for the plunger. I go back up. I look in the other bedroom. I can't find the plunger in that bathroom. And dude, I opened up the closet to look in there

and I saw Chris's black Carhartt coveralls. I got a little jealous, dude. I'm like, man, I'm like, those are some good looking coveralls. You know, that's howt coveralls. I got a little jealous, dude. I'm like, man, I'm like, those are some good looking coveralls. You know? That's how much coveralls mean. Hey.

You know? That's what they mean to people from around here. If you don't have coveralls, man. Mine are blue. Mine are black. I got black and tan Carhartts. Is there a style or a trend? Yeah, bro, you want some bibs.

No, no, no. I'm saying, is there a style or a trend in clothing that has gone out of date that you wish would come back? What? In other words, like something that people used to wear. Andrew still tight rolls his jeans. Oh, you do? Oh, yeah, of course. That's impressive. Z Cavaricci's.

Yeah, now you're talking. Man, I wanted a pair of Z Cavaricci's so bad when I was a kid. Hey, dude, let me tell that other story. Yeah, yeah. So, dude, this has all happened to everybody, man. Like, maybe not everybody. Maybe it's just me. But I tend to use a little bit more paper than what I probably should.

I probably yelled that from Greta for using not my hand. But the truth is, is like, dude, I was dating this girl this girl okay and i didn't know her very well because she lived in kansas city and i lived in st louis and i ended up dating her for like a year but this is like the first time i was up there all right this is before you get comfortable and like they know you're taking a shit you walk out of the room to fart still yeah yeah right like in that phase yeah right so uh she lived in like this, uh, two story home. Town home. Yeah.

Town home. But it was two stories. So it was like a, it was like real tall and narrow. Okay. So one of the bathroom that wasn't in the, in the bedroom was upstairs. So like I went upstairs and I was going to try to, you know, do my business and fucking clog the toilet, man. Like this is this is a bad situation because I don't know this chick and I don't know her apartment. And by the way, she's downstairs in her area where she lives.

So it's not like I can go down there and just search for the fucking plunger. So I'm totally confused on what to do. There's no brush, okay, because everybody knows if there's a plunger and there's no plunger, you go to the brush, right? I mean, I've never, no, that's a good, I mean, it's a good tactic. I didn't think about that. Yeah, you go to the brush

and you can kind of like stick the brush in there. Rotor route it. And now you don't twist it, you just like try to push some water in a hole. Gotcha. So there was no brush. So I'm like, fuck. The toilet's about to fucking overflow, dude.

Like I could see it coming. Oh, dude, that's slow creep. And I'm like, fuck, what do I do? Dude, I fucking went in with my hand, dude. I went in with my hand. I had to. Desperate measures. Dude, I went in.

I went in. I reached down in there. I grabbed the fucking paper because the poop had actually gone through the pipe i didn't get any poop in my hand hey man but dude there was pee in the water still and i fucking went in with my hand unclogged that motherfucker washed the shit out of my hand i go back downstairs and she's like what were you doing up there and i'm like oh you know i don't know I I guess that uh that that tapas we had last night you know and I had to like break it and then I had to tell him myself anyway I mean hey so I know

why you really did it why because I was you know the step two to that is the water starts leaking now you're in the kitchen sink now you gotta go downstairs and fix the fucking ceiling have you ever seen the movie along came polyolly? This happens in that movie. Oh, really? He has to use like a $100 loofah. Really? Oh, dude. I've never seen that movie.

I had no options. Like, there wasn't a shower in this bathroom. It was like a little one shooter, you know what I'm saying? Like a toilet. A half bath. Yeah, right. And what the fuck would you do? Do you let it go over and then have to explain it?

Going over, I mean, there's a long-winded process going over so now i'm this motherfucker from st louis that she met right hand or left hand uh-huh yeah i use my right hand bro don't shake that yeah look dude i washed the shit out of it but i'm just saying like you got to do what you got to fucking so you weren't at the phase in relationship relationship where you walk down and you get sticking underneath the nose and be like, smell this. Bro. Bro, listen. Listen. I'm being serious. What the fuck would you do?

Dude, I mean, when I first started dating Raquel, the first trip we made was to Mexico. And I kept disappearing. Where you at? I'm working in the lobby. Like, I kept acting like I had to go to Wi-Fi in the lobby.

But I was taking a shit in the lobby because I was in Mexico and my stomach was all torn up. Oh, you dude, you took her to one of them places. See, Mexico's a bad place to take a new girlfriend. It's a bad destination round one. Because all the fucking, all the suites in Mexico, they're like open to the fucking bathroom. You gotta like really be in a relationship. Dude, the first time Emily and I went on a trip together, we were fucking down there

in Ixtapa at Crist yeah stall yeah and dude the fucking bat like dude we had been dating we went we had been dating yeah three three four months and and so i took her and dude i mean we knew each other but still like we weren't to the level of like taking a dump in front of each other so i mean yeah but it's a real thing with open air that's another level that's a you you got to be dating for a year for the open air shit. You know what I mean? So, like, to explain this to the people listening, the person you're with can see you shitting.

Yeah. Which isn't the worst part. The worst part is when she can see you wiping your ass. That's the worst. Dude. Because now, yes, I mean, that's real, though. Like, dude, we've been together 10 fucking years And I have like

A little pocket door On my shitter You know in my bathroom And like I take a shit So I can watch the kids You know And then she'll kind of

Be walking around But if I go wipe my ass I'm closing the door Like you know Doors go and close 1000% Because nobody looks good Wiping their ass

No Like when you catch someone Wiping their ass You just took their Fucking soul You know It's like getting caught beating off dude like there's nothing you can do there's nothing you can do you just look down at the ground there's nothing you can do like you just keep going

look at von von is like where did this go no I actually it's making me think when I was in fourth grade I took piano lessons you got caught beating off no no I took piano lessons from this chick named Claudia Fox and I would go directly after school and I walk up to her house and I was waiting for the the kid before me who was still in the you know still taking the lessons from her and I all of a sudden i had to go like terribly bad like bad bad bad and so i'm like i don't know what to do because i can't go in there the other kids doing his lesson so i basically crawled behind her bushes and i just dropped right there and i just dropped a huge deuce while i'm doing it while i'm doing it while i'm doing it she comes out

and she's like looking aroundughn? Vaughn? And I just look totally dead silent, right? So she comes back in. I finish my job. I decide, okay, I can't. What'd you wipe with? Oh, I don't know. I have no socks. Yeah, I don't know, but I had to go to the bathroom so bad. You go to the sock before you go to your hand.

Yeah, so. Sock, underwear, fuck. Fuck this protocol, man. That's why I wear a wife beater always. I wear a fucking wife beater. In the event where it tears up into fucking crepe. Hold on, hold on, hold on. So let me get this straight.

Just so I fucking understand completely. So the protocol for this situation is wife beater first. No, no, no. Socks first. Socks, socks. Okay, so you got two socks. Yep. Underwear.

Underwear. Then your undershirt. Then wife beater. Then your undershirt. Okay. But you got to wear a nice undershirt so you can tear it. This is like Hulk Haneum. What happens to this if you're like at the swimming pool?

Oh, man. You're fucked, dude. Well, that's great. Unless you're Chris Klein. Yeah. He's got probably the greatest fucking shit story of all time. I'm not going to ruin it, but it is fucking hilarious. Okay, so I finished my business.

Can you imagine people right now listening to this? They're probably like. No, they're laughing. They're probably like, oh, my God. These fucking buffoons. They're fucking telling toilet humor. You sound like Beavis and Butthead. I will tell you one of the greatest things about having kids is wet wipes are everywhere.

Oh, yeah. Everywhere. Very true. So anyway, I come back around and I wanted to make it look like I was just running up that I wasn't already up at their house. So I do that, come in, everything goes great. All right. Totally, as far as I know, she didn't catch me, right?

A week later, I walk in to do my piano lesson. She sits down and she says, Listen, before we begin, I have a question that I need to ask you. I said, Okay. I thought this was going to be about my practicing and everything. She goes, I kid you. She goes,

Vaughn, did you defecate in front of my house? I'm like, I don't know what that means. And she goes, did you go to the bathroom in front of my house last week? And I'm like, no, why? She said, well, I found evidence that you might have. And I go, are you sure it wasn't a squirrel or something? But I totally denied it, and it wasn't a squirrel or something? Dude, so this is- But I totally denied it, and she didn't press the issue.

Oh, so you're a liar. Yeah. So basically, this is why you don't play the piano. Yeah, right. Basically, yeah. Cancel the next lesson. Really bad, bad images associated with that. Well, Vaughn, if you ever take a shit outside my house, I'll have you on camera.

Well, I probably won't. I'll even send you the footage. Yeah. Dude, I enjoy peeing outside. I don't ever pee inside. Yeah. I would much rather pee outside than in a toilet. Oh, yeah.

Without a doubt. Yeah. You've got to worry about where you're aiming. It's just easy. That's fucking literally the best fucking thing about my house is cameras. No, I pee outside. I pee anywhere. Oh. I live in a little secluded kind of thing, and I fucking pee about my house. Is it cameras? No, I pee outside. I pee anywhere. Oh.

I live in a little secluded kind of thing, and I fucking pee anywhere I want. And you know what? In fact, it started a bad trend here. I pee outside here, and it's not good. Now I go all the way down in the woods. You know, is it true? I've always heard this, and I don't know if it's true or not, but is it true that if you- Yes, it's that big.

No. Is it true that if you do actually pee outside- Is it true that if you actually pee outside and a cop finds you, that's some sort of really heinous, horrible thing? Dude, I think it's sex offendership. I think it's a sex crime, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know around here it is. That's crazy.

You get some sort of sex thing, I don't know, offender, you get on a list. You get on a list you don't want to fucking be on. Dave, what's it like to be on that list? Listen, don't want to fucking be on dave what's it like to be on that list listen don't worry about me vaughn you're you're a pastor or preacher or something you should be on that list oh i don't even know where to go with that well as much as i've enjoyed this conversation on feces um it is interesting i you know i don't know if anybody's paying attention, but most of the latest polls, the president actually has a pretty high approval rating relative to Trump

in the couple years that he's been president. And the most recent data suggests that, A, the impeachment process is not going to affect his ability to get re-elected. Most Americans believe, the majority of Americans actually believe, he will be reelected. And if anything, it looks like the impeachment may actually help him because it's energizing his base. So, surprise? Big surprise? I think that's pretty poor strategy on the left side if they're trying to win.

Because basically what they're doing is poking an entire horde's nest of people who are normally silent. Well, and he's normally got to do something outlandish to get at the top of the headlines every single day, and now he doesn't have to do anything. They're fueling that fire. What's happening is, you know, agree or disagree, it really doesn't matter.

I'm just saying it from a strategic standpoint. What's happening is by them making this the topic, considering where they are in people's mind right now, they're creating the frenzy that they don't want because there's a lot of people out there that quite honestly already know they're going to vote for Trump, no matter what the fuck anybody else says. And what they're doing is reminding people how important it is to actually stand up and vote. This is the problem with the media manipulation that's going on is that there's not a lot of truth being told on anybody's part. And they're being Trump is so fucking smart that he is actually manipulating them back based off of whatever they say about

him. You know what I mean? So, you know, I, I agree with what you're saying. The reason there's a, whatever the high approval rating I would say is because they're get, people are so fucking tired of the nonsense and they're so ready for real things to happen in America and not just false promises. I think people are just tired of the bullshit and they recognize it. An easy way to say this is people have woken up to the fact that the media is full of shit. And so they've now, when they see the media trying to manipulate a situation, that just pushes them further away from whatever cause they're trying to drive. Follow what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely.

And I think what's also true is that historically the American people are very sympathetic toward a leader who seems to be not beginning a fair shake. I mean, you think about Bill Clinton, and even even back then a lot of people would say, listen, he probably did something wrong, but the witch hunt that is happening as a result of what he did is kind of over the top. It's comical. And it ended up helping him get reelected. And that's what I think is probably happening with Trump.

They're saying, listen, the guy's not a saint, but at the same time, does he really deserve all the stuff that's going on? But it's also coupled with the fact that I think the unemployment rate is as low as it's ever been in the entire U.S. history, and specifically, minority unemployment rate is as low as it's ever been. So, I mean, you think about, you couple on the fact like, hey, man, I'm paying my bills, I got a job, the economy's booming, life's working in the right direction, I know this

guy's an asshole, but things are going, nobody wants to upset that apple cart, you know what I mean? Right now, things are moving in the right direction. No, there's are going. Nobody wants to upset that apple cart. You know what I mean? Right now, things are moving in the right direction. No. There's lots of people that want to upset that apple cart. Yeah, right. It's just that those people are not serving the interests of everybody else. They're serving themselves.

Self-service. Right. Because if we actually cared about the integrity of our country, we would not judge someone based upon their party affiliation. We would instead judge someone based upon what they're actually doing. And that's a hard thing for people to do. That's what's happening right now. People who would normally say, yes, I believe this person, or yes, I believe what they're saying, have now lost that belief in terms of what the left is standing for and they said there's a lot of people and a lot by a lot of people i mean four to six percent of the people

which those are the people that make up the actual election those people have said i don't fucking believe you anymore like i don't believe the media anymore i don't believe you well and he's outlandish lies and so the more that they try to pour gas on that same message the more people don't believe them. And you start seeing it. Right. And so that's what's happening. And that is no bias on my part either way.

I happen to think that Trump's doing a pretty good fucking job. But if Trump were to do a bad job, I would be the first one to say, hey, we're doing a bad fucking job. I care about the country. I'm not affiliated. Well, I think what you see and where I know this long enough, like what you see is their tactic is blowing up in their face and you like that you know what i mean oh dude but that's happening across i think that's happening in society oh i love it i think you know 10 years ago when you were called a racist it would fucking bury you but now because the term's been overused by the media so much, the real racists get off with like, oh, yeah, he's fucking racist. Yeah, most people are like, well, whatever.

Right. So that's what's happening now with that politics thing is people are so, it's just lost its power. You know what I mean? Because it's been overused. Like when you say Trump's a racist and there's really no evidence of him being a racist and you say it over and over and over and over again, eventually everybody's like, what the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? And now these same people are coming up with other things. They're standing on all the other issues.

And the dangerous part here, which is dangerous, is that people will just now vote for one side because they're so sick of the other side. And this side over here is doing this, right? So if you really want to accomplish your mission over there, you might want to think of a better strategy to just continue to use the media to just blow motherfuckers up. Or social social media because it doesn't have its power anymore. You get attacked for one or two days and then it's, it goes away. Like people are, people understand that. You know, I saw a celebrity post the other day about something about people getting canceled, like cancel culture. Uh, I believe, didn't we talk about this already? Cancel culture. Oh, the me too culture. Yeah. Well we, no, it's not Me Too. Me Too's a different thing. It's the cancel culture. It's

you know, we're going to fucking bury you. You're canceled. Okay? Because you said something or did something that people didn't like. And so we have a situation now where people are getting canceled left and right every fucking day by social media

or the media and nobody is actually canceling them it's just like a publicity thing now you know they actually end up more famous than before we've seen this over and over and over again you know so we have these situations where people don't like what people saying and they give them the shine and then all of a sudden now everybody hears it and they gain more support. Well, if you want that to stop happening, stop this mob shit and start addressing it because half the motherfuckers that all of you don't like and that goes on both sides of the party are people you made famous by sending a mob after them

and now you made them more effective. So if you really don't like someone, the best thing you can do, like it or not, is to fucking A, ignore them, and B, take action the other direction. That's the truth. 100%. Just to dovetail a little bit, I mean, you're addressing the cultural thing, but economically, this is really a fun fact. Maybe not surprising to most people, but the Consumer Spending Index, there is a new high of 62% give the economy positive reviews. And that's according to Rasmussen Reports.

Just to give you like a- Hey, let me tell you something. It's going to be hard to win an election when the dude who's getting the credit for the economy being good and everybody else in the real world is like making more money and paying less taxes and shit. And shit seems to be going pretty well um and i'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen in the next remember when i told you trump was gonna win a year and a half before he fucking won on mseo project i'm gonna tell you this too you're gonna see this you're gonna see the media come out and try to create a recession they're gonna try to create it through their stories. They're going to tell you how bad the economy is. They're going to use their influence to get people to stop spending and start saving and

pull money off the table so that they have some sort of recession economic crisis during the election campaign, which creates a loss for the Republican. It's coming. Yeah. Guaranteed. No, I think you're right. I mean, as a point of reference, the index reach, so for those of you who don't completely understand,

the Consumer Confidence Index, the highest was 121.5 in the Obama administration. That was the peak. It is currently under Trump, it's 144.3. So it's very, very high. The confidence in the economy is very, very high. And you're right. No amount of calling people names is going to overcome

people's confidence. People are loyal to their own situation. Yeah, they are. You know what I'm saying? Very loyal to their bank account. That's right. But mark my words. And I'm not saying there won't be a recession, because some people think there will be. And I'm not a fucking economist, but I understand basic shit. And I'm going to tell you there's

going to be an attack on our economy by our own people in this country, hoping that the economy goes down so they can take a power position. That is fucking wrong. It's fucked up. And you guys listening, pay attention and watch that. I don't care which way you vote. That's your choice. But just pay attention because you would have to ask yourself then, well, if that's what these people are willing to do, do they really have the best

interest of me in mind if they're willing to fuck up my situation so that I can put someone else there? Just because I don't like someone, I don't like that they're loud. I don't like that they're obnoxious. I don't like that half the shit they say sounds ridiculous. Just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they don't do a good job. And that's what I think people should be paying attention to, you know, because it's going to happen. Watch. And, you know, honestly, as a business guy, I don't know that I necessarily fear the economy going back down because that's what all the opportunity is. Now, I hope it stays up because if it goes down, that means people are going to is. Now, I hope it stays up because if it goes down, that means people are going to hurt. And I think if you purposefully manipulate your power

to cause people pain, that's fucked up. Now, if you're an entrepreneur and you're listening to the show, which I know a lot of you are because of my last podcast series, that's when the opportunities are. So pay attention to that as well. So I hope the opportunities don't happen because that means a lot of other people are going to hurt. But if you're one of the people that is in a position to make a play, that's the time you make a play. That's reality. So you got anything else for us today or what?

I think that's good. I think we covered, you know, all of the defecating type of things and the Greta Thunberg and all that. Yeah, I think we hit some pretty good content. Yeah, guys, hey, we hit some pretty good content. Good content. Yeah, guys, hey, this is how this show works. If you had a laugh, if you learned something, if you learned a new perspective that made you think,

if you enjoyed it in any way, we have a fee. The fee is not monetary in value. The fee is, hey, tell someone about the show. Bring us a listener. And I don't mean just like casually say, oh, one time at a party. I mean, for every episode, if you listen to the episode and you say that was a good episode, tell someone about it. That's all we ask.

So guys, we love you. We appreciate you. We're looking forward to new episodes on the weekly and on behalf of the team here. Talk to you soon. Told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm going to you soon.