REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 314. Q&AF: Leading Different Personality Types, Couples Supporting Each Other & Competing Against Larger Companies

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how leaders should communicate when leading different personality types, what's the best way for couples to support each other's individual goals, and how small companies can compete against larger companies in the same sector.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest, saying goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the cues and I give you the AFs. That's one of four formats that you might happen to hear when you turn on this show. The other ones are CTI, which stands for cruise the internet. That's where we put headlines up on the screen. We talk about how full of shit they are and we bring the reality of the situation into focus.

And then on Q and AF, which is what you're going to hear today, we talk about the potential solutions to make you better because the reality is whatever's going on in the world can only be solved by us individually and collectively raising our standards and becoming fucking better. All right. Understand that nobody's coming to save you. And I will remind you that until the day I fucking die. Now we also have real talk. That's where I get on. Uh, when I usually get super tired of people doing dumb shit, I get on and I yell for four to 20 minutes about how fucking stupid these people are. And then you usually pick up one or two good little gems that help you figure shit out too.

Then we have full length. And full length is where I bring on my successful, wealthy, ass-kicking friends. And we talk about how they got to be that way and how you could be that way too. So those are the four formats. And then we also have a bonus format, 75 Hard Versus. And if you want to be on 75 Hard Versus episode, you finish 75 Hard, you finish Live Hard,

and you have a tremendous story that you'd like to share, you could also email that in. Where do they email that? 75hard at andyfrasella.com. All right. So that's that. Now we do have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. I don't run ads for the show. I don't run ads on the show. For the downloads I get on this show, I can make $30 million a year, just so you understand that. All right. That's a hard fact. I don't do that. The reason I don't do that is because I don't want you to question where my heart is. I don't want you to question my intent. I don't want to pollute the message. I want to speak the truth

as I see it. I feel like I have a good grasp of things. I have a gift to be able to see what's going on. And I'm not going to let a dollar amount get in that way. So in lieu of me getting fucking paid to do the show, I would appreciate that you share it instead. I think that's a fair trade. Okay. Very fair. All right. So with that being said today,

we do have Q and AF and where can people submit the cues? Yeah, guys, email those questions into ask askandyatandyforsella.com. And as a special bonus, not only do we have the black face of white supremacy as my co-host, we also have Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean. Yeah.

What's going on? I've been given strict instructions by your minions not to open the show talking about death. Oh, you got yelled at yeah yeah who who yelled at it madat did we do that yesterday is that the show where he said are you going to get violently murdered yeah right now if it happens you're going to feel bad a little bit yeah i mean i it would be a little bit of a you're going to have trouble getting people listening a little bit yeah it's true yeah that's true you better hope it doesn't happen yeah yeah that goes for all y'all fucking hillary clinton huh that's it yeah yeah

bro these guys would kick your ass i'd be careful especially that guy they would i you know every time you do the the intro to the show i always when you talk about real af and you say that's when i bring in my really successful ass kicking friendsicking friends and to tell you how to live an exceptional life. I'm like, well, isn't that what happens every time I come home? No, not really. We're talking about the other ones. So anyway, I was watching. This is Q&A, I guess.

Yeah, it's funny that you're you're here because uh i actually did have been watching the irishman yeah because i've been bored and then i started watching yellowstone like the new season i know i'm behind but like i like to wait for them all to come out that way i'm not like fucking having to link the story in my head after like weeks and weeks of time um pretty good i i didn't mind yellowstone i think i watched a couple episodes it's pretty cool yeah i'm pretty sure that dude that that that rip dude they fucking based exactly off of me like fucking exactly well we know where sal definitely got a dress code from where from yellowstone oh yeah fuck country sal about all of it yeah hey man it works dude hey

that's good, man. So we've got Q and AF. Vaughn's going to help out with the conversation today. So let's get started, man. Yeah, let's knock into these. The reason I brought up the Irishman is because that's that episode that we did. You were on that episode, weren't you? Yeah.

Where we talked about the dumb protocol. Yeah. You remember that? Yeah, that's right. I do remember that. I did. Yeah, I did. Oh, you used it. I used it.

I always, hey hey i apply every you use the dumb protocol uh yeah all right didn't i came up with the name dumb protocol didn't i no no i thought i did well now i'm curious you don't know the dumb protocol oh you got to go back and listen yeah it's probably the funniest story we ever told in the fucking show ever anyway i'm invested now so questions yeah question your job jesus dj i'm fucking waiting on you guys man all right question number one andy what's the best way to communicate with your team uh when you have a mixture of different personality types okay i have to refer like smacks right in the face yeah that's solid certified legal letters

smacks in the face can confirm yeah yeah flattening their car tires i mean it sends a message all right look that's real all right go ahead no but uh so the person says i have 12 employees uh some respond well to constructive criticism while while others do not. My question is, do I communicate differently with these employees to bring the best out of them? Or do I try to develop them into individuals who respond well to my style? leadership philosophy that you need to have, which comes from your core values and what you define your direction to be. But you also have to get to know your people individually. Okay. Because at the end of the day, your people, you have to understand this. They want to be a part of a team. This is the biggest thing leaders miss. They have this idea in their head that everybody on their team at work doesn't want to be at work and that might be the case right now because you're not leading properly but when you actually engage people on a personal level and you get them to understand that the collective good increases

their own personal good now they they can put that link together in their brain yeah and what happens is they want to become somebody who contributes because dude if you're if you're on a like you play football right like did you not want to fucking you play the offensive line did you not want to get a bunch of roach blocks during the fucking game fuck yeah yeah it didn't matter if you scored the touchdown no i still think you just wanted to yeah you just wanted to contribute and that's how your team is too and we do ourselves a big uh our companies and ourselves and our people a big injustice by not getting to know them individually to how they respond and what their personal goals are now there are limits to that like you don't want to create the situation where

they're coming to you with every little fucking emotional problem they might be having that day but people want to you do want to have them have a comfortable relationship where they can be heard. Right. And a lot of people like to only lead one way or the other way where like they have this construct of core values that they guide their company with and they leave it at that. Okay. Or they get so personally involved with every single person that they actually can't direct the entire team. Right.

So it's a balance of both. And most leaders have a natural propensity to do one or the other. But to be a truly effective leader, you have to be able to do both. And so you have to understand the big picture guidance and you have to, your team has to be made to understand that there is a certain level of compliance that needs to be you know we need to be rowing the same direction right under these core values in this mission and then individually you're going to go around help them tweak and improve and and and their little you know their little lessons or

corrections they may need um but at the end of the day, bro, what I've discovered is most people just want to be fucking heard. They want to be heard. They want their input to matter. Even if you don't follow it, they want to at least be heard and say, okay, well, hey, you know, Andy, I think it should be like this and this and this.

Okay, well, all right. I can understand that. But here is why it's not like this and this and this. And, you know, you take the time to explain things and then it further galvanizes the team, which makes it easier to guide the team under the big mission that you set for whatever company you're in. On that, though, would you say has that gotten easier or harder for you to do? Right. Like you're 23 years in business. You got a 20 year old coming to you. Hey, why? You know, why haven't you guys done this?

You've heard that a thousand times. Yeah, but see, I don't do that. That's not my job anymore. That's not my job. My job is the 10 people in our executive team, right? So like, I know those motherfuckers. I know everything about them, right? I go in and talk to them.

I get feedback from them. Their job is to handle that. Right. And I don't get in the Their job is to handle that. Right. And I don't get in the way of that because then that dilutes the chain of command and then it gets it all fucked up. So now it's a, now it's a, he said, she said mom,

dad situation. Right. So I don't, I don't mom said, no, no. So like the entry level person in our company, it would be inappropriate for them to come to me with,

with that thing you know what i'm saying but uh when did that one of our when did that come into place well i mean as you grow it naturally organically happens if you want look bro if you want to build a team of leaders you have to let them lead like if i didn't fucking let our executive team lead what what purpose do they serve? You see what I'm saying? So I have to let them do that. And if I get in the way of that, that fucks up their shit.

That makes them less credible. So I don't want to undermine their ability to lead by getting in the middle of whatever's going on. So you have to be disciplined about that because it matters. I think that question is asking, or putting a little bit too much emphasis on personality differences though, because I started working with you about six or seven years ago, and I have a different personality than Tyler did.

I have a different personality than everybody that you worked with. And what eventually ended up motivating me was that I knew that Andy genuinely cared, not just about the success of the company as a whole, but on my personal success. And so he could just be his authentic self and communicate the same way with almost every other person. And over time, I just realized this is a guy who really, really cares about the core values of the company, what the company's trying to, uh, to accomplish. And so I, I, I don't know that question kind of, I feel like it's too bound up and, and, oh, well, everybody has a different personality and they're putting the,

they're putting the emphasis on that rather than the authenticity. That's this bullshit culture that we have going on in the world. Like, Hey bro, I'm not here to be your fucking therapist. Right. Okay. like i appreciate that you have a different personality than me but when you're here you i'm talking to you yeah when you're here you're gonna fucking do this right and i'm gonna do this that's the bargain and we're both gonna benefit from it right right absolutely you're gonna do your part i'm gonna do my part we're gonna win together absolutely that's that yeah and and and that's the same for any of you guys in this room and any of these people out here. Like I have my role.

They have their role. If we all do our roles, we all win. Right. It's real simple. Right. And I, you know, whatever, however you feel, which, you know, you're a totally different dude than me, but also totally the same in a lot of, you know what I'm saying? So like, you know, I think the culture that we live in has gotten way too comfortable

with like fucking vomiting their feelings everywhere they fucking go. Like, let's be fucking real, bro. This is a fucking job. And like a leader has to customize his or her approach to every single employee. Yeah. I'm not doing yeah like like you're you're there's a range right like there's an 80 range if you're off way off on the left or the right and that 10 like i'm not that's beyond my ability to fucking wrangle in right right so like you know you don't have to be exactly the way everybody else is but like when you're here you got to row the fucking boat right and you got to row in in in in sync with everybody else here and that's how your company should be that's how your team should be that's how your organization should be that's how your charity should be that's how your movement

should be people that can't grow at the same speed in the same direction just aren't going to have a seat on the boat right and there's nothing wrong with that there's people that that there's people of all walks of life to fit in and all different places. That's not a personal thing, but it's an expectation to all businesses, all organizations, all, all movements,

all or everything should have. I think, I think a very interesting thing. Cause I mean, you know, I've been like, dude, if you have a boat,

right. And you have 10 people on one side and 10 people on the other side and the motherfuckers on the left are rowing at one pace, and motherfuckers on the right are rowing at least at 10% less of a pace, guess what happens? Circles. Circles. You go in fucking circles. just taking commands, doing what you're told, showing up every day, putting in the best effort, the higher you start to ascend in the level of authority and responsibility you have, and the more you do get to tweak then your particular approach to what you want to do.

Then the guy up in the top says, actually, you're valuable, so I am going to let you have a little bit more freedom and do things the way you want to do it. Correct. Yeah. Correct. I think that's what I was going to say like that's the thing it's like you you strive i know in all your companies personal development is huge right whether it's reading the 10 pages i don't i'm not interested in even talking to a human it isn't into that right like if you're not into it not only will you not work here i don't want to fucking talk to you right and i think that's what fixes a lot of that like i, I don't like some of these, like we talk about like these personality types. I think a lot of that is just people lacking, like employees lacking that drive.

Well, fuck you. Or even the opportunity. You got to think about the young employees nowadays, bro. No offense to the young people, but guys, you guys got fucked by the education system. Like it's on you to learn and relearn how things really work. Right. A lot of these people have been told their whole lives by no fault of their own that everything's going to be fair. Everything's taken care of.

You're going to go out in the real world. You're going to kick ass, blah, blah, blah, just for showing up. And then what happens? You go out in the real world, get your fucking face stomped in. And then you're bitter. You're angry. You think the world hates you when in reality you've just been prepared improperly. So that's why it's important for you to understand that, dude, this is reality.

You have to be good. If you're not good, you will get fucking crushed. If you don't work hard, you will get crushed. That is reality. There is no way around it. And there is no fucking government. There's no law. There's no movement. There's no fucking way of governing that will ever change that for you. Like if you are not willing to do certain things like work hard and learn how to get better and commit to you are going to get steamrolled in life forever, forever, ever, ever. It's not even up for debate. And, and dude, a lot of these people who are, you know, coming into the workforce now, they, they don't understand that. Right. And they come in instead of being someone that wants to row and sink, they fucking

stick their paddle and anchored in the water and let it drag so that they get noticed. It's like, bro, fuck you. You're out you're out like dude you can't be a contrarian you can't be someone that doesn't go along with shit if you're gonna build a fucking quality team and you young guys that are coming out of this two decade long of fucking indoctrination bullshit in america of you know everybody 17th place gets a fucking trophy i'm sorry but you got fucked okay so you have to relearn now how things really work and they work if you're good you get paid if you're not you don't if you're fucking undeniably great you'll get the likes the shares and the recognition too many people want the prize before the fucking work dude they want the equity

and like listen and not only do they want the prize before the work they want like a 20-year prize for fucking one month's work like the disparity of what people expect now for what they invest is so far out of whack that it's not even funny right yeah so know, I don't know how to fix it on a mass scale, but I'm telling you as an individual, you have the choice to learn this shit and accept the way it is now. And I would, if I was 20 years old and I just came out of a fucking school system that told me all kinds of bullshit, I would understand this right now. I will never be anywhere unless I'm better than everybody else at what I do. And I would just accept that. And every day you get up, I would accept that it's going to be hard. I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and, you know, ever since I decided to be

something with my life ever, when I made the decision that I was going to do something with my life, every single motherfucking day since then has been difficult. Every single, every day, every single one. Okay. For a long time, I fought that. I got up every day and I'm like, all right, cool. And then when the bad thing happened or the challenge happened or the business difficulty happened, I get super pissed off. Okay. And it ruined my day. I would get all mad. Now I don't think of it like that. I've accepted that it's hard. It's going to be hard every day. It's going to be hard. So like, if I expect it to be hard and it's hard, then I have no reason to be mad. I have no reason to be frustrated. It just is what the fuck it is.

And if you could accept at 20 years old, that you're going to be great in life and that every single day you wake up, and I'm talking about every motherfucking day, is going to be difficult, you're at a huge advantage. Because most people expect it to be easy and they get their shit kicked in every fucking day. And then they're like, oh, I'm depressed. When in reality, they're not depressed at all, bro. What they are is they have an unreasonable expectation. It's the same reason

why people have a hard time making content or speaking the truth because they have this unreasonable and unrealistic expectation that every single human out there is going to like them. And that sets you up for disappointment. Not only are they not going to like you, certain people shouldn't like you. If you're living a morally good life, there's going to be people out there that do not fucking like you.

If you're willing to stand on a line and stand up for what's right, there are going to be a lot of people just like there are to me that don't fucking like me. I do not fucking care. And if you get to that place now, if you like you're 20 years old and you can accept that now, bro, you're so far ahead of the game because like, dude, I I'm free. Oh, you don't like me.

I don't care. Oh, you think I'm this cool? Oh, you think I'm that cool? I would challenge you to listen to more of my shit. But if you don't want to, I don't really care. Go fucking drink your fucking beer. Go play your video games. Like, dude, I don't care. Like, I don't care. I'm here for the people that want to be exceptional. And that's it. If you don't want to be exceptional, if you don't want to be successful, if you don't want to be free, if you don't want to know the facts, if you don't want to know reality,

don't listen to my fucking shit.'s that simple i love it there's actually an old mfco episode called battleground mentality i don't i don't happen to remember what the episode was but you you spend like 40 minutes expounding on this whole concept of you have to change your your expectation listen bon when you're this good you forget all the good shit you said that's true i'm just kidding no no no but i said biden has that same problem yeah exactly he doesn't he doesn't say anything compare me to fucking biden bro it's it's episode uh back there in about three fucking seconds, bro. In fact, where's Zeesha? All right. No, it's episode 141, but it's amazing how this applies to everything,

like literally everything. Success in business, success in relationship, even success in the spiritual life. The idea that life is a playground or that the whole universe is just designed for your comfort is probably the single greatest destructive thought in the history of the world. Listen, dude, the expectation that they teach us in the idea of being kind are handicapped

the shit out of us. Like when you're a fucking little kid and they kind of teach you like, oh, be this to everybody. Oh, so and so you didn't get along and so-and-so said this. And you know, uh, they try to make it all be this like happy go lucky. That's just not reality. Like it's just not. And you will be told, like I said, uh, you and I have talked about this a trillion times. So I don't know when I said this, but you know, when you're young,

you'll be told you could do anything. And the older you get, you'll be limited because more and more people become more and more limited. The older they get because they have more and more, uh, interactions with people who have not been able to succeed because of whatever reason those people instill, they're limiting beliefs on your friends and your family and people around you

as you get older. And then they try to instill them on you and your job is to resist that shit i was able to resist that shit now every single one of those people who doubted me or said you can't do this or that or this they either fucking work here or they fucking wish they worked here or they're writing me some email, you know, after fucking laughing at me 15 years ago about how proud they are. Like, I don't fucking remember you, bro. Like, I remember.

I remember. You don't forget shit like that. In fact, I'm thankful that you laughed at me because that's 50% of the reason I'm fucking sitting where I am. So, say no shit. No, I love what you said about the minute you decided to make something of your life, everything was hard.

Because it seems like in the last year, I've talked to people who said, okay, they finally made a decision. They're going to change their life. They're going to start striving after important things. And in their minds, the minute they did that, everything started falling apart. All of a sudden, there was this chaos introduced into their life. And their immediate response was, I must be doing something wrong. All of a sudden, there was this chaos introduced into their life. And their immediate response was, I must be doing something wrong.

And I'm like, no, you're doing something right. Because previously, you were just this half-assed, like lukewarm person who wasn't a threat to the powers that be. You were the plastic bag. Right, you were the plastic bag, right. And you decided you're gonna be something. And both culturally, and I would even say spiritually,

all of a sudden you said, I'm going to do I'm going to become the person that God wants me to become. And all of a sudden there were forces aligned against you. And that's the way it goes. And you're absolutely right. When people decide that they're going to get serious about their life, that's when you're a threat. Yeah, that's when you're a threat. That's when you're going to you're going to make something of your life. And yeah, and you're going to go through a long period of time feeling alone, bro. Like at first, you're going to fucking, you know, you're going to make this decision. And all your current friends, they're going to see you take action and they're going to make fun of you.

Or they're going to question you or they're going to, you know, criticize you, make fun of you. And then you'll stop spending time with these people because you just can't because it's zapping your energy. And then you'll go through a long period of time where you probably won't have a whole lot of people in your circle. And then what will happen is you'll start to become what it is you wanted to become. And then all the people who are also at that level will welcome you in. And now all of a sudden you have a whole network of super supportive people, as opposed to people who are always trying to hold you back. And, you know, in my opinion, people are way too loyal to people that actually don't serve their interests

and not loyal enough to themselves to actually go through that journey. And, you know, that I call that time in the middle, no man's land, and you're going to spend a couple of years there at a minimum. You know, I spent 10 there. I didn't have a whole lot of fucking friends for 10 years. Okay. I still really don't, but I like it that way on purpose. Right. Um, something you say on social media a lot lately is that you just love seeing other people win. And I think what most people don't understand is that most people aren't like that. Most people don't like to see other people win. And I think what most people don't understand is that most people aren't like that. Most people don't like to see other people win. No, no, no. Anybody who's ever won likes to see people win. Yes. Anybody who's ever won likes to see people win. But my friends who my wealthiest friends are the most happy for people who win. But on the on the accident,

on the rank and file level, though, wouldn't you agree that that when somebody starts rising above the level of average, most people, most everyday people look at that oh who do they think they are of course who they think they are yeah i'm andy for selling the baddest motherfucker on the planet yeah yeah you know what i'm saying yeah but i think people need to adjust their expectations but i'm just saying like that's the fucking facts yeah and it took me 20 fucking years to do that i heard all that same shit bro i still get made fun of now i just like i'm like okay dude like you know pinkies up motherfuckers yeah i'm like okay so like i don't i don't fucking care and and you guys shouldn't

either you got to let go of the expectation that everybody's going to be behind you the work always comes before the belief in yourself and with others. Okay. Nobody's going to believe in you until you've asked, until you've actually achieved what it is you set out to achieve. And by that time you won't need to believe. All right. But you're not going to believe in yourself until you've already invested. That's the trick of success. You have to invest a long time of work before you ever actually start believing that you're the guy that can do this or the girl that can do this. Right. So the work always comes before the belief with yourself and with other people. So just put your fucking head down, do what you got to do day in

and day out. I've given you every motherfucking tool in this podcast feed possible. Go back and listen to every MSCEO. Fuck. If you're super super joint RTA, like fuck dude, you can do this, but you are going to have to put your blinders on. You're going to have to put your head down and you're going to have to work through all the things that every successful person that wasn't born into success has to work through. And that's not only your own limiting beliefs but everybody else's that you know as well and that's a hard thing for people to do so i'm just telling you don't listen to them keep working keep showing up keep doing what the fuck you got to do and eventually all those people that question you will be saying oh andy i'm so proud of you so proud yeah okay

and you'll be able to say yeah okay bro and it won't matter you won't care there's no way i don't do you think i care okay i don't care yeah i don't fucking care what you think of me i don't care who you are i don't care if you're fucking donald trump i don't care okay and the reason that the way i got to that level was by letting go of the expectation that everybody's gonna like me and letting go of the expectation that everybody's going to like me and letting go of the expectation that everybody's going to support me and letting go of the expectation that I have any fucking limits at all. Cause I don't, that's truth. And neither do you.

It's real, man. So guys, let's move on to question number two. Andy, in one of your recent podcasts, you briefly touched on the importance of having a stable partner in your life. What are some tips or advice you can give couples to better support each other when working towards their goals? You know, I think the biggest thing is don't sweat the small stuff. You know, I think people make huge, like most of the couples I know, you know, not that I know personally, but have experience with over life that i've observed it seems like most people make huge deals out of stupid ass shit all the time i i think i

think most couples drink too much i think a lot of the problems that come with couples come from alcohol um you know you have to understand certain things like uh the the personality of the person that you're with is far more important than what you think of their fucking ass okay now it'd be cool to have both all right that that's what you want disclaimer hold on all right i'm not i'm just saying you you you will don't ever sell someone's personality out for their looks yeah right because that shit is really a dime a dozen and having someone that's actually going to have your back. That's actually going to pour into you. That's actually going to contribute to the goal of your life or the mission of your life is extremely rare.

And so, you know, I find that like with Instagram culture and hookup culture and things like that, you know, we have a lot of people who are, who, are who who really aren't quality people that are able to showcase whatever they have right their sex their sexual uh bait and tackle so to speak right um surface level shit yeah surface level bullshit and you know and then especially with guys because guys for the most part live way below their means. Um, you know, they're not,

they're typically not in shape. They're typically don't take care of themselves. They're fucking not even hygienic most of the time. And you know, these dudes, uh, by the way, you should wear some fucking deodorant.

Holy shit. Um, but you know, these dudes, they meet a girl online who actually gives them some fucking pee. And now all of a sudden they're hooked up for life. And it's like, bro, that's not how you're supposed to do this. You know? Um, I don't know. I, you know, I think the ultimate, I, I don't think anybody should get involved in a serious relationship until they

are truly close to the representation of their own potential, because that's what you'll attract. You'll attract your best potential when you're at your potential. And that means getting your fucking ass in shape. I don't care what they fucking say on people magazine. Um, nobody likes a dad bod. Nobody likes a big fat tub of shit. That's reality. Nobody fucking likes it. Um, pour the proper things into your mind, get your career, right? Like I, I find that a lot of the problems come from a lot of men not being men and women getting with these men. And then the women constantly looking for something better and the men can't do anything about it because they don't bring shit to the table.

Like if you're going to have leverage in your relationship, you've got to bring some shit to the table. Yeah. And, you can't expect to attract, this goes for men and women. You know, you can't expect to attract someone who is an amazing partner.

If you're not also amazing, like that's just fucking the way it is. And I don't know, like, you know, we all say, oh, look at that really attractive woman with that sloppy dude. Well, I bet that sloppy dude's got some shit. Right. Okay, maybe he's a great dude. Maybe he's bringing something to the table.

I'd just be packing. Maybe he's got a huge dog. Maybe he's fucking, maybe he's a billionaire. Right. But the point is the dude is bringing some shit to the table and by the way how do you know that's not all she has how do you know that's not all she has you know you guys are looking at this like these people that walking by thinking they're fucking prime a when in reality bro they just see the outside may

look okay you see what i'm saying like it ain't real it ain't it's it's rotten shit exactly okay and so like we have to start looking at you know this is a cultural issue at the heart of it we have to start looking deeper than surface level into into partnerships because dude you could people put so much time like how many questions do did we get on msco project about business partners when people don't even put that much thought into their actual partner right you know what i mean a lot like yeah you know how many dudes married married their wife because she had some big titties and a fucking fat ass and that's it that's not a foundation for a good relationship it's not substance no and women you know a lot of women they you know they when they're young, they, you know, they, when they're young, I mean,

this goes into the whole dynamic of men and women, but women typically attract men with their fucking looks. Um, and men typically attract women with their careers and their success. Yeah. And that's, that's, that's nature. And men don't really get attractive until like after 40 and women, you know, get attractive much earlier. So it's, you know, there's a, it's a, it's a, it's a different dynamic at different ages in your life. And, um, you know, at the end of the day, man, you have to understand that

you have to be able to stand alone on your own shit to ever even have a quality partnership. That's the truth. You know, a partner should enhance you. A partner should, should bring more to the table. And, you know, you see, you see this in life. You see a lot of dudes who struggle with women in their twenties and thirties end up, you know, doing very well later. Right. And you see a lot of women who were the hottest thing going in their 20s and 30s with 15 cats when they're fucking 48 right and you know that comes down like that comes down to being a good person you shouldn't you should never treat someone poorly like period you know i think

superficially yeah and i think um you know there's, there's a thing in culture where it's like, you know, uh, I don't know. I just feel like there's a lot of stigmas in culture that just aren't healthy, you know? Um, when it comes to relationships, you know, like the, the people are like, oh, I don't want want to i don't want to have a relationship with someone i'm friends with because i don't want to ruin the friendship well that's a bullshit cop-out bro because like i i would you know i was friends with emily for fucking four years before i ever you know what i'm saying right like that's the foundation there was no intent there right it just kind of materialized but um you know know, I don't fucking know, bro.

I'm not a relationship expert. I just think you should look at it like this. Like, I could do a whole show on what I think is the problem with the dynamic between men and women and dating. And I think I have a pretty good grasp of it. Maybe I'll do that. But the truth is, is that, you know, I'm not an expert at it. I I'm fucking learning as I go. Uh, I'm not a perfect partner. Um, and I try to be better. And, and I, when I, if I was a young man or woman and I'm looking for a partner, I would look at what they bring to the table that helps, um, make your life better. And I would also

equally ask yourself, what do I bring to the table to make your life better. And I would also equally ask yourself, what do I bring to the table to make their life better? Right. And I think if everybody would spend at least half, because so many people spend the 80, 90% of the time saying what you did for me. Right. Well, maybe if you did more for them,

they'd do more for you or, you know, like, and then there's another thing, like the mentality of like the tit for tat mentality. Like I had one of my, uh, athletes message me, uh, and ask if it was normal that her boyfriend Venmo'd her or asked her to Venmo him 50% of the laundry detergent when they moved in together. So like she sent him to the store to get laundry detergent and he came back and he said uh he said well can you ven mail to me the eight bucks for the 16 like geez and and i'm like no i don't think that's that's not normal that's not normal like you know a soy boy when

you're living together and you're starting to build a life together married or not uh it should be you know this is how i see it and i think it works pretty good is we don't tit for tat every little fucking detail we just both do the best we can for the house you know what i'm saying and uh it's a selfless attitude that you have to have and where things you know it's the same core values we have for the company you see shit that needs to be done you do it just do it yeah like you don't keep score like i i don't know man i could go on and on and on but at the end of the day you need you need someone you could build with you need someone that is going to contribute not take away you need someone that inspires you to contribute yeah that's real man i was just

gonna say i think expectations are huge i i don't claim to be a perfect husband at all, but after almost 10 years of marriage, one of the things I think my wife and I do really well is we just have realistic expectations of one another. And what's crazy is six years ago when we first started podcasting, I remember seeing women post things like, you know, I'm not going to settle for any man who- Is under six foot tall. Yeah, or who's under six foot tall or or who doesn't love me so much that I can roll out of bed wearing a gunny sack and he'll still regard me like I'm Aphrodite or something. Or I'm not going to settle for any man who who doesn't connect with me on a deep emotional level every day and i'm like like the level of unrealistic expectations that people have about about relationships i think crushed relationships and destroy them and like my wife and i we get to the point where like yeah that's another thing dude like the fucking overly romantic shit like motherfuckers are like oh yeah i got date night every monday wednesday friday

every week and we like they pretend on instagram to have these awesome fucking see that's a dude you're hitting on something here yeah not to interrupt but no no go ahead go ahead okay um it's my fucking show all right but dude you're right about that because the truth is is that now we have people who are comparing their relationship which is semi-normal and pretty boring if we're being fucking honest but let's be real that's most of your life don't you want most of your life to not be a volatile situation don't you want most of your life to be peaceful don't you want most of your life to be telling little jokes and having a good time right that's right that's literally most of your life okay outside of your work right and um the expectations that people show on the

internet like you have all these influencers who try to pretend like they've got like their relationship experts and they have this perfect marriage and every fucking like bro eight months i know some of these motherfuckers and i can tell you for a fucking fact they have fucking problems not only that andy what happens eight months later yeah they break up yeah they break up and they're and then it's like oh and then they you know they were just charging for like this like dude it's just not to me in my opinion i don't think anybody should be presenting themselves as relationship experts uh because if they are they're fucking lying because every relationship is different and your if you're doing it right, you're constantly evolving and learning. That's my opinion.

But the expectation that we're fighting against on the Internet is so ridiculous that it makes everybody feel like their fucking shit is fucked up. I look at those people who do that shit, and I would know for a fact. I'm like, yeah, you motherfuckers ain't like that at all. You know what I'm saying? I know better, dude I I think that shit's clown shit yeah well it's marketing well you know it's marketing whatever it's entrepreneurship yeah yeah yeah I just don't yeah I don't think it's ethical no because it's not true I mean there's obviously a place for for romance and stuff but I tell people all the time i mean to me what's most attractive about my wife is day in and day out she spends time with my children

she teaches them history math stuff like that i mean she's not only that bro she's always supported you she's always supported me what you've wanted to do absolutely she's always supported me vouch for that yeah you absolutely i and and i. And I just think people who think that marriage is going to be, or women, and this is the truth because most men aren't thinking this way, but most women who think that you're going to enter into this relationship and on a day by day basis, he's just going to be so emotionally connected to you that he's going to be so attracted to you that you could fart and it'll smell like lavender. You know, it's just not even realistic and the good news is what

you were saying is the good news is that's not what makes marriage and life happy and that's not what makes it so great it's the daily just hanging out true laughing enjoying stuff now if you're having a true romantic moment it ain't on the fucking internet no because you didn't stop to fucking take a picture of it because it was a real thing yeah remember that when you look at everybody's shit yes yeah by the way get the fuck out of here that fake ass shit all you're doing is making people miserable and shit you you you don't there's not a single motherfucker out there should be making money on fucking relationship advice. Period. And I believe that's why it all fucking comes back to bite

him in the ass. Every single time. It's fucking, yeah. Guys, let's move on to our third and final question. Question number three, Andy. Our business is very young compared to other monster companies in the same sector. When you first started your

business and had to compete with other larger companies, what actions did you have to take in order to scale up to the top? What mindset did you have when you were young? Very simple. And it's still the same mindset. It hasn't changed at all. It's one customer at a time.

It's one person at a time. It's whoever the person in front of me, that's the most important person. And you have to understand how people buy to really make sense of that dynamic. Ad advertisements for the most part are not what make people buy. Okay. Advertisements are to bring awareness and they are to bring awareness to a conversation and the conversation would be let's just say dj came in wearing a pair of uh fucking jordans all right i don't wear jordans but just for the sake of i would say hey uh bro those you know jordans are fucking sweet you know i've seen the i've

seen the ads on tv for for or let's say the new reebok pumps right because they're bringing the pumps back yeah all right, those are new pumps. You know, I seen the ad 17 times. You're like, yeah, dude, that's a new pumps. Well, I look at him like, oh, that's pretty cool. I'm like, what do you think? What do you think, dude? I like them.

Yeah. I really like it. We have a pretty comfortable and it looks sweet. Yeah. Yeah. And then I go fucking buy them. And that's how the conversation works. So if you understand that your personal interaction with the person in front of you is going to actually be the thing that makes people buy, because it's not the person in front of you that you're just talking to their entire family. You're talking to their entire, all their friends. You're talking to everybody they've ever met when they go on social media, which is an advantage that business people have never really had before. Okay. So you have a situation where this person in front of

you has the ability to spread the message out to literally fucking, if it's me, it's millions of people. Right. But for most people, it's at least thousands of people or hundreds of people. And when you pour into this person and solve their problem in such a way where they feel obligated to tell people about it because you went way, way, way over the top, all right? Now that's where the selling happens. You don't sell. You help. Then they sell for you. Right. Okay. So if it's good. Yeah. If

you do a good job, that's why this, that's why the whole idea is if you want to win a business, you have to be the best. You have to do the right thing because when I'm concentrating on a hundred people at a time, which is the failure of most companies. Most companies, they don't, they are not interested in the one person at a time. They're interested in bursts of a thousand. And I can tell you from owning many companies and building many companies that it just never works that way. It only works one person at a time because people don't buy from companies. They buy from personal conversations. So with the technology that we have, instead of it being advertising, then flowing to the customer and then buying,

we're actually talking to the customer, solving their problem, and then letting them use the technology to tell people their story, which ultimately brings you the chance. Let's just say if they have 500 people, three of them come to buy. Okay. Now you have three more chances to get with those people. And it's as simple as doing the right thing, taking care of their problems, making sure that you go above and beyond, uh, giving a fuck, right? Not trying to oversell right not trying to oversell not trying to like make the money on the customer that's right in front of your face but to actually never do such a good job that they never have a reason to even look anywhere else that's the key to business and they're that's it like you guys want to make a couple million bucks and you want to fucking

flaunt on the internet and you want to be fucking cool, don't listen to the thing I say, go run bullshit ads and change your widget every fucking week. I don't give a fuck. But if you want to fucking build a life that is huge, that can change literally fucking millions of people's lives. Okay. It's one at a time. You want to build a Nike? It's one at a time. You want to build a fucking Coca-Cola? It's one at a time. You cannot compete with the big fucking players because they have so much more capital. So the only way that you can defeat them is death by a thousand paper cuts, which is personal interaction over and over and over for decades for fucking decades it's still the same mentality i have today because it's the only thing that i ever did that actually worked in business

the only thing that word the word of mouth is super fucking it's everything it's fucking everything and the technology the technology that we have today lends itself to that yep and people are starving for it too, man. But on the other side of that too, it could also be very, very detrimental by not doing the right thing and treating that fucking person shitty. Because like, dude, we literally-

There, that's the flip to the coin. Right. Okay? Right. This is why it's so important that you do the absolute best you can. Will you do perfect every single time? Absolutely not.

Right. But you will make enough deposits into the trust of the customer base that when you make a mistake, they will still work with you because they know that you try really fucking hard and you make it right when you do fuck up. Now, the flip to that coin is that if you are an unethical entrepreneur, if you are someone who fucking cheats people, if you are someone who scans people, that shit will spread like wildfire and you'll be out of business before you know it. So like you can't survive longterm anymore doing things unethically,

right? Like you can't survive longterm. You might be able to make it for a year. You might be able to make it for a year. You might be able to make it for two years, but to make it for decades in this sort of environment with this amount of connectivity and this amount of instant access, you have to be 99% fucking great. Right. Right. And when you fuck up on that 1%, or let's even say 2%, you have to go above and beyond to make it right every fucking time. And has to be real and that's the only way you'll ever fucking win long term with where we are in a business culture yeah real man well guys andy damn dude i feel like

msco is coming back the black vaughn yeah the black vaughn the black vaughn yeah the what the black Vaughn the black Vaughn he's got the same haircut yeah yeah hey man well you gotta grow a beard by the way that one you're like

he's like the Q ball you're like the A ball are you the pool stick I've been called other things you know alright that's the show quit making terrible jokes DJ

I love you guys appreciate you guys talk to you next time