REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 32. Real Talk: It's You

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

It's You. You're responsible for your life not being the way you want it to be. Your life is not meant to be tolerated, it's meant to be lived to the fullest. On today's show, Andy explains how to get the most out of your life and how to feel more fulfilled.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm going to get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What up? What's up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today I got an awesome show for you.

Before I get into it i just want to remind you we're here to help you we're here to serve you this is why i don't run ads this is why i don't run ads either on the show and on all the social media and platforms that we have to bring the audience to the show i take pride in this being a homegrown show, meaning this show is built by you all. Okay. It's completely dependent on word of mouth. If you share it, it grows. Our rankings go up.

If you don't share it, it doesn't go up. And I believe that we're the only show out there like that. So here's the deal. Everything we do here is free and you'll never hear me run an ad ever, but I do have a fee and the fee is this. If you like the show, if you learn something, if it was a good show,

if it made you laugh, if it entertained you, if it made you think, if it made you make an adjustment in how you're living, if it made you better, which is the goal, please share it. Please leave us a positive review. Please hit subscribe.

Those things help us spread the message. And if you believe that more of this message needs to be out, then I ask that you share it. If you think that our show sucks, I'm not asking you to share it. This is a fair deal. Very, very fair deal. If you saw what I was doing right now, I'd be doing some Trump shit right there. Right. But Hey, here's the deal guys. All right. Today I woke up. I felt great. I'm happy. I'm heading into work. I'm

excited. Okay. I look around and I see all these amazing people and things I have in my life. I've got an incredible historic mansion home. I've got an amazing wife. I've got amazing dogs. I've got a bunch of kick-ass cars. Every car I've ever dreamed of almost I own. I have these amazing people at work that I get to see every day. I've got this company that just helps transform all these people's lives.

I've got this other company that helps train entrepreneurs to be the best that they can be. Dude, my life is winning. It's winning. I'm genuinely grateful. God favors me for some reason. I have no idea why,

but I work every day to fulfill the obligation I have back to him. But when I look around, this is not what I'm seeing from most other people. Instead, I overhear people complaining about nearly every aspect of their life. I see people complaining about their relationships, about their jobs on Facebook, to literally anyone who will listen. And that's what I want to talk to you guys about today. Did you ever think for a second, if I spend my whole day complaining either vocally or in my head about everything in my life, maybe it's just me. Take physical fitness, for example. If you're on Instagram and posting a picture with a caption that says another day still fat well did you do anything to fix that? I highly doubt you knocked

out this 45 minutes of intense cardio regimen right before you put that up online. Let's be honest guys you're probably killing your fifth slice of pizza and then felt a little twinge of regret. Okay, fat doesn't melt away just because you complained about it. Muscle doesn't show up miraculously because you felt bad for yourself. If you didn't put in any of the work, what did you really expect? I mean, come on, guys. Aren't we past this kind of thinking? How about our relationships?

Instead of crying about your partner to anyone who will listen, did you ever stop and think maybe it's you causing the problems? Maybe you don't contribute to the relationship. Maybe you don't work hard to cultivate the relationship. Maybe it's you that does things that aren't conducive to a positive relationship. At some point, it may just be a communication issue, sometimes with yourself. If you're the type of person who airs all their dirty laundry around to everyone, guys, except your partner, chances are the issue probably is with the person you look at in the mirror every day. The most common complaints I see are in regards to people's jobs and careers. And guys, people just love to complain about their jobs to anyone and everyone.

But listen, let's be real. If you're 30 fucking years old and you've had 10 to 15 employers up to this point, and every job is the absolute worst you've ever had, chances are guys, it's not the job. All right. You need to learn to ask yourself these questions. Does my job provide me with enough to live a comfortable life? Does my job allow me to cultivate skills for my future? Is my job a learning experience that pushes me to be better in every area? Am I learning the things that I'll be able to use in my future employment opportunities? And after you've dwelled on those questions for a bit, ask yourself this, is my job really that bad or am I just an asshole that doesn't want to do the work?

You guys see what I'm getting at here? The majority of people complaining about their jobs, guys, they're just fucking lazy. And that's the truth. These problems don't go away when they find new employment because the problem is them and their terrible outlook on everything about their life. I mean, it should be obvious. Did you try to find a job doing something that you were interested in? Or did you just accept the first available job that doesn't do anything for you? And guess what? Sometimes you have to do that to get by and that's reality. But it doesn't have to suck forever.

Your job is such a huge part of your life that doing something that makes you absolutely miserable, guess what? It's going to make your life miserable too. You've got to find out what it is that excites you and what interests you and figure out what is needed for you to find employment in those areas. Too many people bounce from basic job to basic job, waiting on their time to clock in and out. Okay. And they're complaining the whole time while doing literally nothing to improve their conditions. And they can't figure out why the fuck they're miserable. This is common sense,

guys. If you don't want to dedicate the time and effort to actually finding something to interest you, that's fine, but shut the fuck up. No one's excited to hear you complain ever. And I think you probably have all figured this out by now, right? Like you all know that people don't really like complainers. You don't like complainers. So why the fuck are you complaining? So if you're not going to do anything about your situation, accept it, know that it's on you and shut the fuck up. Let's be real. Okay. A lot of you guys ask me how I get through my days. I mean, guys, I'm doing a lot of stuff. A lot of people, I'm going to sit here and try to brag, but get ready for a little bit of fucking bragging. Okay. I have a whole bunch of companies I own. I've got thousands of people I'm responsible for.

I've got a fucking top rank podcast. Thanks to you guys. I've got fucking a family to look after. I've got all these crazy responsibilities, way more so than the average entrepreneur. I'm responsible for thousands of other entrepreneurs and their growth and their learning. I mean, dude, it just never ends for me, but I don't feel like I'm working a single day because I'm doing something that is fun for me to do. Every day I wake up, I say to myself, man, this is going to be a great day to be a fucking boss. Okay. In fact, DJ, when he gets to my house every day, he texts me. He's like, dude, let's have a boss ass day. That's our little thing, right? Like I get to be a boss today and you get to be a boss too. If you decide to be, I start working the minute I wake up and most days I don't stop until midnight or one in the morning. All right. And here's what a lot of you guys are going to inevitably try and call me out for Andy. Isn't that a contradiction to the other things you've said? I thought you said following your passion and putting in the work was hard and a constant

struggle. Look, dude, life is full of dichotomies and paradoxes. If you haven't figured that out by now, then nothing I'm going to say is going to help you. Of course, work is hard. I'm not always in the best of moods and things don't go right all the time they go wrong all the time but I've come to recognize and appreciate the opportunities I have to test myself I've come to love the test days so yeah in that minute it does suck but I'm not going to go around crying

and whining my entire career because of one day of setbacks. I recognize in the long run that these are my moments to test myself and really push myself for progress and grow. This works in every example I've talked about today. Do I love my wife? Yes, I do. Do we have arguments from time to time? Rarely, but yes, we do. Does it change the fact that I still love her no it doesn't see how easy that is to understand that both of these things can exist at the same time what about in our physical lives and fitness do i love cardio fuck no in fact i've got a saying that i use around here that if you ever see me running you better fucking run too because something bad is coming okay i'll lift weights all day long before i go on a run but I still understand that cardio for me is a necessary component to me being fit.

And I'm still going to get it done because at the end of the day, I am going to appreciate my results from the work that I put in. Listen, guys, the key to this is realizing that most of your problems are based on perspective. If you're generally a miserable person, then it shouldn't come as a surprise when most aspects of your life are miserable. Notice the people who complain are always complaining about everything. The ones who just need a few bucks to get back on their feet. Doesn't it seem like they always need a few bucks to get back on their feet? And yet none of these people realize that they're the problem, do they? They are the underlying

cause for every negative thing in their life. So next time you find yourself complaining about an aspect of your life, stop and think for a second. Is this really their fault or is it my fault? If your relationship is going south, take a second to figure out what maybe you might've done to cause it. If your job sucks, ask yourself, is it my mentality that's making this suck so bad? If you hate your body, have you done anything to change it? Once you start to realize that you are the factor, not a factor, the factor in all of this, it becomes a lot easier to start to make the positive changes that you want in your life. Maybe you start to put a little more into your relationship or maybe it's the opposite and you part ways because you know it was a detriment to

your happiness and your partner's happiness. Maybe you throw out the chips and the candy and the bullshit and you start working out. Or maybe you look into night classes to help you find and move into a better fitting career for yourself. Start working on one of these aspects in your life and you'll realize they're all connected. When you find happiness in one, it's going to be much easier to see what's wrong in other parts of your life and you'll start to realize what you need to do to fix it. So instead of being the guy on the corner stool that everyone avoids because he just brings you down all the time, he's got a negative story about everything. He hates his job. He hates his wife. He hates his body. It's everybody else's fault. Instead of being that guy, how about this? Pause for one minute before you start to complain and think about whether or not

it's you. Because guys, I'm going to promise you, 99% of the time, you're going to find out that it's you. And by complaining and bitching and moaning and bringing other people down, all you're doing is fulfilling a prophecy of all the negative things that you don't want in your life. And it's going to cycle over and over and over again. Stop complaining. Start being real. Start addressing the issues in reality so you can build your ideal situation. This show is called Real AF. You know why I called it Real AF? It's not because my initials are Andy Frisella or Real as Fuck. It's because the truth is realists are the people who change the world. Idealists paint the picture of what the world should look like and then get mad when it's not

that way. Realists address the world the way the world really is and then work to change it into an ideal situation This is how you should be addressing your life Take honest inventory Look at what you're doing See if it's you and if it is you fucking fix it and you're going to be happier more productive more money better looking Blah blah blah blah blah blah all the way down the road It's not everyone else guys It's you more money, better looking, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all the way down the road. It's not everyone else, guys. It's you.