REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 320. Q&AF: Paying Yourself, Instilling Mental Toughness In Your Child & Opportunities At Work

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on when it's an appropriate time to pay yourself after reinvesting into your business, what's the best way to instill mental toughness & discipline in your child, and how to find the positive opportunities within a new company.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and del delusions of modern society. And welcome to Motherfucking Reality, guys. Today, we have Q and AF. That is where you submit your questions and I give you the Andy Fursella answer. All right? This is the personal development segment of the show. This is the part where I share with you how to fucking win. Okay?

Because at the end of the day, all these problems that we see in the world, they all come down to us raising our standards, becoming better and leaving a ripple effect in society that matters. Okay. So this is the personal development format of the show. Then we have CTI sometimes that stands for cruise the internet. That's where we put up three topics on the news. We dissect the truth from them and we make fun of the people who write these articles and then we identify the problem and talk about the solution and then you know then we have q and af like today so we have problem and solution for cti and then we have like in-depth solution here for q and af then we have real talk that's where i get on and I just bring you some heat. Uh, if you used to listen to the MFCEO project, we used to call this Thursday thunder. Um,

I need to start doing those again because I actually enjoy those and it's like therapy for me. Let's be real. Uh, then we have full length and full length is either where I have, uh, my successful kick-ass, uh, bad-ass friends come on and talk about how you can be bad-ass too, because there are normal humans just like you uh and then we have 75 verses which is where uh people who have successfully completed the 75 hard program come on and talk about their journey which i personally enjoy the most out of all the shows so with that being said where can they submit their questions, Mr. DJ? Yeah. Oh, thank you, Mr. Andy.

And hello, children. Yeah, guys. Email those questions in to askandy at andyfussella.com. And they can be about anything. About what? What's anything? You know, life. You know, boxes of chocolate.

Yeah. Whatever you want. Yeah. All right. That's fine. That's how we do it. Let's see. There's a's a fee fee for the show is very simple uh please tell someone okay we put a lot of time a lot of energy a lot of effort into

this show uh we've been doing it for a long time i do it out of a sense of obligation i don't run ads for the show and i don't run ads on the show even though i could get paid a lot of extra money by doing so, I do not want anyone to, uh, get information that is, that is, uh, bought and paid for, which is not what I'm about. So I want to keep the message pure. That's really why I don't do it. Um, so yeah, that's the show. Okay. So if you like the show, if it brings you some value, if it teaches you some things that makes you laugh um which it will because we're funny as fuck yeah um please share all right so q and a f huh yeah let's let's get into it right all right what's going on you got three good ones for me i got some good ones

got some good ones for you all right uh andy question number one uh i've been growing my business for the last four years um and besides paying for the absolute necessities, I've reinvested everything back into my business. We're finally in a comfortable spot. And I was curious when would be an appropriate time for me to start paying myself more than the bare minimum? You'll know when you know. If you care about your business and you care about the goals long-term and you care about what you're trying to do long-term, it's going to become very obvious to you when you should start paying yourself a little bit more. Now people come to this decision, uh, with great anxiety, because for me in the beginning of my business, you know, the first three years, we didn't take

any money. Um, I'm not saying we didn't take a dollar. Like we might've went and bought McDonald's or something. Right. But it wasn't like we were getting paid. Right. Um, then for the next, uh, seven years, we made $695 a month. Okay. For $58,000 total for the first 10 years. Um, and that sounds pretty bad, uh, because it sounds pretty bad because it was pretty bad. And I was pretty bad. And you should take this as an indicator that you are probably smarter than me. And if I can do all this crazy, this is kind of the premise of the whole fucking thing.

All right. I'm an idiot and I figured it the fuck out. So I'm pretty confident that you could figure it out too. But I can, I had a lot of anxiety that 11th year when I went to pay myself something that was appropriate. And what people miss is during that year five, six, seven, eight, nine, we could have paid ourselves, but we chose to reinvest. And so when I tell the story, sometimes it sounds like, oh, we were failing so bad. Struggling for 10 years straight.

And just like everybody, we like to make our story sound a little bit better. And sometimes I forget to mention that in year 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10, we were reinvesting heavily and foregoing paying ourselves to get our business up and running. And that's a very important detail that I need to be better about sharing because it's the truth. Like knowing that you could have took more. Yes. And yes. And that's very important for people to understand because a lot of people will ask me, they're like, well, how'd you open 10 stores in 10 years if you didn't get paid? Well,

that's how I did it. So, uh, so you have to understand that, you know, any money that you take personally you take personally is money that you're not investing in your business. And it's growth that your competitor may possibly be getting over you. With that being said, there's a quality of life aspect to this. Like how long and how willing are you to do without to achieve your goal? I think that's the ultimate question here. Personally, looking back, I think, I mean, looking back from where I'm at now, because I've sort of achieved all my financial goals that I ever really set for myself

at 42, which is weird. But anyhow, when I look back and I look at like, you know, I look at all the cool things and I look at like this company and I look at, uh, you know, the cool shit I've been able to experience, the, the, the properties that I've had, the cars I've had and all, you know, all the shit you guys think is the thing. That's not the thing at all. Um, the thing, the thing that ultimately is for me, um, and has become for me is, is a finishing a project that I set out to do. Yeah. And, um, when I walked through my garage and, and I noticed these material things, I mean, yes, I think they're cool, but I could easily do without all of them. If I could still come to work every day and invest and put in. And so what I'm trying to get, get you to understand is don't

be in a hurry to go to the material shit because it's cool temporarily. And you, what will happen is you'll come back to the project and you'll start to find motivation and inspiration in the project. Like for me, my motivation and inspiration is to help build careers and amazing lives for people who have helped me build an amazing career in life. And there's a lot of people in this building. There's 400 people here on any given day that I am obligated to, to help create these paths. And I personally wouldn't, I would trade all my material shit to be able to complete that project. And I guess what I'm trying to say in a very long winded way is don't be in a hurry to take the most money that you can. And I think the longer that you can live below your means and be really, really happy and

okay with that, the more successful you'll be in business. Yeah, that's real. Yeah. Because dude, look, once you're past a certain point of being able to do certain things, all the rest of the shit is diminishing returns. When I could go to dinner with my team and my friends or whoever and float the bill and not like literally care. Like if it was $800,

I didn't give a fuck that everything above that, every car, every house, every fucking private jet, all the cool shit that I've been give a fuck. Right. That everything above that, every car, every house, every fucking private jet, all the cool shit that I've been able to experience. It's just cool shit, man. Right.

Like, and I can, it's not, it doesn't define me. Yeah. So you have to understand that if you can be the entrepreneur who lives below, and by the way, I still live way below my means,

um, believe it or not. Uh, and that's another thing i would set a rule like set your rule you know um my rule has always been fun shit for me is 10 of my income that's that was gonna be my follow-up okay it's like like should we attach that percentage so so i've always learned to live on 10% of my income. I still follow that rule. Right. Okay. People think about like, well, how the fuck is that possible? Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what happens when you're running a business that's, that gets to a certain scale. That's why you want to continue to invest.

Right. Because eventually you'll be able to live the amazing life that you want on a, on a small percentage of your income. And you will be very comfortable living that life. And you're not stressing. You're not like, you don't feel like a fraud. You don't feel like you're faking it. You don't feel like, you know, cause I felt like that before everybody feels like that. You know what I'm saying? So if you, if you are responsible, it's just like with 75 heart, when you do all the shit that you know, you're supposed to do, it makes you feel good. Right? So when you're living below your means and you're investing in the things you know um that are going to pay off later that's the right way to do it and you can have a lot of peace operating your business that

way yeah you know what i mean it's just fucking it's genius because you're not you're not increasing the percentage for yourself you're just increasing the fucking pie well yeah but but that's there's two kinds of people yeah there's people who try to increase the percentage because they haven't grown the thing properly and eventually they get themselves in a bind because what happens is they start making decisions inside their business to accommodate their needs for their income right and that's when they're in really deep shit right like they need you know they need 30 grand to pay the rest of their bills off this month so they run a sale on fucking the 29th of every month right that is a trap you cannot get out of so don't start and i think a lot of people allow themselves to be pressured especially with instagram um you know where you have all these

younger kids who are fucking, you know, lying about how much money they make and trying to act like they're big baller shit at 22 years old. And it really fucks the younger generations mind up because they make, they think like they're wasting their time building something real. Um, when in reality, those people will expire. And if you're investing in a real business, even if you're going door to door to door right now, like I used to have to do, which is basically the way every business starts in 10, 15 years from now, those fucking people who were making you feel stupid aren't there. You won't even remember their names, right? You won't even remember who the

fuck they were. Like I have, I can remember so many people making fun of me when I was building my, when Chris, when it was just Chris and I, and we were running the stores, making fun of me because we were, you know, we weren't making any money and we were doing it for five or six years. And people were like, bro, when are you going to like, really like stop this as a fairy tale, you know, get a real job. Right. You know?

And, and dude, you know, a real job right you know and and dude you know those things to this day still drive me like i still am driven by those things so i'm glad they happen and i hope they happen to you too so that they continue to drive you yeah um and they will that's real because most people can't believe in anything before they see the end product yeah like people still people still when i say, this is what we're gonna do, they still look at me and they're like, oh, okay. It's like, all right, dude, well, what have I not done that I said I was gonna do?

Right, right. Maybe it takes me a little longer. Maybe it's not as pretty as I say it's gonna be to get there, but we're fucking getting there. Yeah. And that's the mentality you have to have. Yeah, and one final little follow-up so what was that what was that first like real payment to yourself like because you said like

there was a sense of anxiety there 12 years in i bought a lamborghini yeah so first 10 years i made 58 grand 11th year i made six figures 12th year i made seven figures i bought a lamborghini yeah fuck yeah yeah that's awesome yeah i figured that was an appropriate reward yeah for 10 years of no fucking pay for sure okay for sure well why do you i'm sorry because it's a good conversation but why where do you think the anxiety really comes from though like what well because dude you know you put like you're fucking 12 years in listen put the work in here's the other thing for two years i owned the fucking car i didn't let anybody know i owned it because i was embarrassed right i come from a place in life

of just regular people right and i know what regular people fucking say about about that kind of shit like i know exactly what they say because i've been sitting there when other people drive by yeah and that kind of shit and they're like oh look at this fucking guy and i'm sitting here thinking like well that's gonna be me bitch you know and uh and you know so uh i was very lucky to have some really good employees my uh mike taylor and kyle combs uh i can remember we were sitting at helen's one night and they brought that we were sitting up at helengerald's and we were having a couple of beers. And this is like, you know, they were like, bro, I got it. There was a Lamborghini right in front of me on the way here.

And he showed me the video. I'm like, oh, that's cool. And I go, I got Lambo. And I finally, cause I had a couple of beers. I told him and they were like, no fucking way. And I'm like, yeah. And bro, they loved it so much that it gave me permission. It took that embarrassment feeling away.

Yes. And then I had a conversation with my business friend who also drove, he drove nice cars. And I said, hey, dude, like, what do you do with employees that like hate on you for that shit? And he goes, do you really want employees that hate success? And I'm like, no, I don't. Yeah. And it changed my perspective. Yeah. perspective yeah so you know there's a growing process there yeah you know now i know everywhere i go like if i'm driving one of my cars and i pull

up somewhere i know there's a percentage of people who are inspired and i know there's a percentage of people who are like fuck that guy and you know what i'm not here for the fuck that guy people yeah i'm here for the people that are inspired fuck yeah and i mean that that's very very uh evident here especially because you go in the parking lot here we got a nice parking lot it's a nice fucking parking lot everybody here most of the people here you know like it's cool because it's no longer just you with your car you know what's cool bro you know what's cool is a lot of those people with those you know 70 80 90 hundred thousand dollar vehicles sitting on the fucking lot they started here at the fucking very beginning yeah you know what i'm

saying and and you know we got guys here who are buying million dollar houses like that shit in million million dollar house is like five million in california right that's a fucking house yeah so i mean like you know um you know i guess a million dollar house doesn't sound as cool as it used to but i mean we're throwing the putin price hike huh yeah you guys get what i'm saying they're buying adult houses yeah like not fucking little crackerjack houses these are like nice ass fucking i'm a grown adult badass fucking places to live fuck yeah yeah we just happen to live in missouri yeah so where it's not it's just cool to see the ripple effect of inspiration man you know i'm saying it's cool shit look dude i got respect for anybody that that is willing to go and put themselves through

that period of time where everybody's laughing and everybody's criticizing and everybody's questioning um and everybody's making fun of you and and you know a lot of you guys you don't understand where i come from when i get intense and i uh get angry and like start like talking about like listen that all all that that intensity that i have that first of all it comes from a place of love i want you to fucking win but second it comes from a place of reality because i know what it takes to win and it's really fucking hard. And it might appear that like for me, it might appear easy, but you got to understand I'm

surrounded by fucking dude, everywhere I look 10 deep, I'm surrounded by hardworking winner motherfuckers. Right. So the only reason it looks easy for me now is because I paid those dues for 20 something years. Right. You know what I mean? And easy is still relative. Yeah. And this, no, yeah, it something years right you know what i mean and easy is still relevant yeah and this no yeah it's very you know that's right the problems you you never get rid of your problems they just change right and um you know i would rather have

the problems i have now than that it's straight and bro you're with me every day you know like there's days where i fucking melt the fuck down, dude. And you know, I would love to sit here and pretend like I'm one of these other guys that pretends like I'm all fucking collected all the time and this and that. But like, dude, look, I'm a human. Like I lose my temper sometimes. Sometimes I say shit that I don't mean the one thing, the one good thing about me is that I'll think about it for, for the next, however long it takes until I realized if I was actually wrong or right. And you know what I do when I realize I was wrong? I apologize.

You know what I do when I realize I was right? I go and I say, hey, bro, look, I went too hard on you. But here's the point. We still got this and this. And so, dude, you know, I'm working to be better every single day. And it's hard. It's hard for anybody that's working to be better in any regard. But if you're out there trying to build a business and you're at that beginning level

and you're just starting to get paid, I would proceed with caution. You know what I'm saying? Treat yourself a little bit. Maybe go on a trip. Maybe you upgrade your car from your ex- you know, double that payment or something like, dude, but don't go fucking crazy. You know what I'm saying? Like you, your equity and your big payoff in life is going to be that those companies that you're building. So make sure that you're watering and nurturing and taking care of those by investing properly in them. And that means that

you get to go along with less. Listen, dude, some of the best times of my life came from those times I'm talking about, you know, the, the strongest bonds I have with people are with the people that were with me during those first 15 fucking years. You know what I'm saying? And 10 years from now, it'll be from the people that are around me now. Right. You see what I'm saying? Those things just take take time to happen but they're worth the struggle and so don't get caught up in the uh and i gotta have material i love material shit it's a great motivator okay but don't get caught up and trying to keep up with some other motherfucker who stretched himself thin to appear a certain way for other people you know you see just be proceed with caution you'll know when you'll know that's real man all right question

number two andy uh with all the shit going on uh the attacks on our children um the question is how would you go about instilling mental toughness and discipline in children in today's world well you know the power list is a great tool tool that you guys can learn about on episode 16. It's called win the day. And I also make a little product for kids. That's kids power list. Okay. And it's basically a way to teach your kids how to attack goals. I think that is an excellent way to start your kids, even when they're young because what kids fundamentally have to understand is that what you invest you will get out input output yeah right input output one plus one equals two they're going to go to school and they're going to go to high school

and they're going to hear all these theories about how the world's unfair and it is but it's it's it's unfair it's the most unfair fair place in the world yeah it's not how they think it is that's right is it unfair yes it is if you do nothing but if you put in you will get out and that's a reality all right and there's too many experiences too many testimonies too many examples to ever argue that okay i could. You could, if you want to sit in this chair, anybody, and tell me about your victim story, I will be able to dissect and point out where you could have went differently. All right. And where you could go differently from here. So I'm not a buyer of the victim bullshit. All right. So the point is, I think the biggest thing parents need to do is they need to take seriously the idea of investing in their children at the base concept that you could be literally anything you want.

And you can accomplish anything you want if you are willing to invest into the inputs that produce the outputs yeah and that's why i started writing children's books that's why i made the uh the children's power list uh journal because these things matter to instill into your children before they get into our school system if you're still planning on sending them to our school system so if I were sending my kids to a public school system, I would make sure that the fundamental truths that we hold in our family are understood and that that child understands that when they go to school,

they're going to hear this and this and this. And those things may have some validity and they may not have some validity. All right. There's a lot of freedom and gray area in the way our kids are taught right now, which is why you're seeing people lose their shit about it. Right. But at the end of the day, it's up to the parents to teach the kids the basic things. And so I think if you really want to take the output of your kids becoming great people seriously you have to develop the base before they ever get into the school yeah and that's that's on you so that's what i would recommend man that's

real yeah i don't think parents need to start whooping their fucking kids his ass now well you know i always say you know if i ever have kids it's going to be just so i can beat him write a letter to somebody I don't give a fuck. Dude, that's real. My mom told me when I was younger, man, she said, I'll whoop your ass so the world don't have to. And like, I mean,

it didn't really make sense until I got a lot older, but it's real shit, man. Real shit. That's awesome. All right, let's move on to our third and final question. Question number three.

Andy, I've been with my current employer for about three months now. Some of my coworkers have a negative attitude and energy about management. They're constantly complaining and making negative remarks. I don't want to be consumed by the negativity or contribute to the problem. What's your advice on how to respond to these remarks since I'm new to the company and don't have the same perspective as them well you know when you're new to the company and you you i guess you're having like established employees like be cancerous to them a little bit yeah is that that what it is i'm complaining about management complaining about fucking yeah well you know you have to understand and be an adult

that there's always going to be things that people don't like about their job and people's propensity is to bitch and in most workplaces uh cancer goes unregulated and tolerated which is why the culture of most companies is terrible and why most companies don't produce yeah okay so i would look at that situation from two lenses. One, I would understand that there's going to be people even in the most well-run organizations on the planet that are still like that. No one's ever going to be pleased with every single aspect of what they have to do every single day that I don't like. Okay. Um, there that's going to be reality, but the greater good of do I love my life or not is, is, you know, we're talking about, I got to do 5%, you know, shit. I don't like to have 95% of the ultimate dream life. Exactly. And that's the reality for most people. And most people amplify their negatives to a point where it's all they focus on and all they hear. So they feel upset. And so you have to sort of understand human nature

before you get riled up about something like that. The second lens I would look through is like, Hey, there's an opportunity here. Okay. Because the opportunity is these people don't like being here. They're not willing to do what needs to be done here. I can do what needs to be done here. And if you're in the right place, you'll be recognized for that. And you'll move along, uh, at a reasonable pace. Um, so if I'm new and a new company and some people that come to me and they say this and this and this and this, I look at them. I'm like, okay, i'm gonna go fucking win right and that's where i that's how i operate like i don't i don't listen to people i don't take i have to this is good and bad by the way i don't listen to people and i have to learn the hard way right um

oh i don't listen to people and i have to find out for myself yeah and sometimes that's good sometimes that's bad but i certainly am not going to adopt the mindset of some weak minded people and some people who lack gratitude and appreciation for the best things in their life and join them. Right. Like that doesn't make sense. Right. You know, so I would say, you know, maybe don't entertain it.

Just fucking keep the mouth shut when that shit comes to you and move along. Definitely don't contribute to it. Then, you know, if you're brand new, you might not want to be abrasive and say hey blah blah blah but you know if it continues maybe you say hey look dude i'm here to win and they'll leave you alone you won't hear it no more right like if you look someone in the face who's complaining say hey look dude i don't care i'm here to fucking win they will leave you alone yeah like it's that simple yeah like dude when people don't bitch to me you know why because i'm gonna say that yep i'm gonna say hey you know what i didn't like that a bird shit on my fucking car this morning but i'm here to fucking win you know i'm saying did you get your shit done yeah so so that's

how we got to you know we've got to we've got to understand that people are gonna cry people are gonna bitch uh but sometimes and especially and i this, you know, this is a really good point, I think, for anybody taking a new job, because a lot of people are doing so right now, is that there is a lot of people who are just not helpful in the workplace. And if you work, if you move into a company and you're brand new and you can figure out how to be helpful very fast, you will come in hot, okay? And you will stand out. What you don't want to do when you're taking a new position is to come in, do what everybody else does, and get lost in the shuffle, right?

And then when you finally figure out what's what, you know start to like say okay well i'm gonna work a little harder and then you stand out well well dude people can get lost for two or three years in the fucking shuffle right you don't want to do that so when you're new you have an opportunity to really stand out because you're new and my advice to anybody who's new at any position anywhere is to totally ignore people like that and do whatever the fuck it is that is required of you the best you possibly can because the management is probably aware of those people and if you can jump ahead of them by just making them look shitty by outworking them that benefits you yeah so that's the opportunity there you want to move fast and you

want to utilize the natural uh recognition that you're going to have just from being new. You want to leverage that to your benefit so that you can maybe jump two or three places ahead very fast instead of getting caught in the riffraff because you're hanging with the riffraff right you know i'm saying like i definitely wouldn't eat lunch with those people no i wouldn't sit with those people i wouldn't hang around those people i wouldn't be seen talking to those people because dude the truth is the upper management fucking knows like you know you know who the fucking people are you know who the cancers are you know who the who the you know the melancholy people are you know who the enthusiastic people are you know you know as the owner the owner knows unless he's like in florida every fucking day all right but whoever's on site running shit knows so when you're a new employee and you uh make those people your friends you automatically get lumped in with those people so the best way to navigate a new job is that when people come and fucking complain to you

about the shit when you're brand new and try to suck you in stay the fuck away from them like go the other way even if it means you're doing shit on your own yeah because the last thing you want to do is get lumped in with them and then then the management see you as just a body as opposed to an asset yeah or he cleans houses and because you have no equity you're gone well whatever the fuck that meant i'm saying he fires the fucking little cancer cell this is the most confusing analogy whatever you meant there i'm sure it made sense to you but like no if like the owner cleans out if he fucking fires all those fucking people and because you were lumped in that you're gone now too yeah you have no equity you put no't put no value in it. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, you're gone too.

I thought you were gonna die. Guys, that's three, man. That's three. Go pay the fee. Alright guys, I'll see you later. Stole, counted millions in the cold Bad bitch, booted, swole Got her on bankroll, can't fold Just a note, headshot, case closed