REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 330. Misconceptions Of Humility: How To Become An Effective Young Entrepreneur

Episode Date: July 9, 2022

In today's episode, Andy talks about society's misconception regarding humility, why being a good follower translates well into being an effective leader, and how to fast-track your progression by learning from other people's mistakes.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality guys today we have a real talk episode which is not something i have done consistently uh in the last year or so but i'm getting more into it because i think it's valuable and i think you guys benefit from it um but if this is your first time listening we have multiple formats on the show and it's not always real talk what you're going to hear today. Sometimes it's Q and AF where you can submit your actual questions and that you can submit those to askandy at andypurcell.com and we answer those questions live on the show. Then we have CTI where DJ and I and the crew here on Real AF, we cruise the internet. That's what CTI stands for,

okay? We put up headlines of the day. We dissect them. We try to deduce what little truth might be in them and then talk about the problem at the core. And that's kind of how it ties back into Q and AF and real talk because the truth is these problems in society all come from us. Okay. They all come from our lack of taking control, taking initiative, taking responsibility of our own lives. Okay. They fooled us into thinking that they're going to run our shit. And guess what? They aren't. So it's up to us to fix that. And then sometimes we're going to have full length episodes, which is where I interview people. Most of the time, these are my successful friends. Sometimes they're people with totally opposite opinions where we can find out how much

common ground we actually have. And I love those episodes too. But basically what we do is we break these episodes down. We talk about the great shit that these people do. And then we teach you how normal they actually are. Because the truth is all of us are capable of these things, guys. All of these people that you look up to, all these people that you admire, all these people that you look up to all these people that you admire all these people that you wish you were like you can be like if you adopt the life and the style of life that they they adopt to get there so that's what this show is about it's about being fucking better and telling the truth so today like i said we have real talk and there is a fee for the show the fee is very simple if you like the show if it got value uh we ask that you share the show okay if it made you laugh it gave you a new perspective if it was something that was valuable

that helped you see things in a different light, please share the show, okay? I don't run ads on the show. I don't run ads for the show. And we only grow this message by you guys telling people. That is it. And we've been able to maintain a top ranking in all platforms for eight years now

because you guys do a good job at that. But please remain diligent on that because remember, this is value exchange. That's what I believe in. If we do good, you do good by me. If you do good by me, I do good by you. And that's how this world works. So with that being said, I want to talk about something that I don't know that I've ever really talked about. But it's something that is obvious to me as someone who's been in business for a long time and had to learn a lot of things.

And quite honestly, for the first part of business, I didn't have the access to the tools that you all have. Okay. For my first 10 years in business, I started in 1999. The internet was very primitive and there wasn't like all these people out there sharing their information about how to win. Uh, if I wanted to learn how to win, I had to observe people. And a lot of times I had to observe people from afar. And that means I had to follow people. That means I had to take their lead. That means I had to

become a good follower before I ever became an effective leader. And I like to think of myself as an effective leader. Okay. I've got 400 something employees here in house. Tens of thousands of people outside of this building that we lead on a common everyday basis. So I'm not trying to toot my horn. I got a long way to go. I can be much better, but the truth of the matter is I'm an effective leader. And the way I became an effective leader was by being humble enough to understand that I needed to learn from people who had been down the path before. And one of the things that I noticed about young entrepreneurs that I just wanted to address, and this isn't going to take all day, guys. I know it's Saturday. I know it's beautiful. I know you want to get out and do shit. But it's something that I want you to be mindful for,

especially if you are just getting started in the game. You're young in the game. And when I say young in the game, I never mean like young in age because some people don't start the success journey until they're in their forties or fifties or even sixties, man. One of the biggest success stories of all time is Colonel Sanders. He even starts till he was in the sixties. Okay. So it's not too late. But the point that I think holds young people back when it comes to becoming an effective leader is that they have a hard time, especially when they're competitive, humbling themselves enough to follow someone else's lead. And that just doesn't make sense. And I see it kill a lot of young entrepreneurs or at the very least delay the success of a lot of young entrepreneurs because their ego gets in the way. All right. You have

to understand humility when we talk about in a practical sense is very valuable to have. OK, but humility in terms of what the public and society understands to be is very inaccurate. All right. Running through life, thinking you're less than everybody, thinking it's a noble thing to be nothing, thinking it's okay to sit on your ass and like be quote unquote what society thinks is humble is not something that you should aspire to be, all right? It's very easy to be humble when you don't have any fucking thing to show for it. When you are not achieving at a high level, humility doesn't count. Okay. Humility only counts when you're great. That's the truth. Okay. You have to remind yourself that you aren't as great as you think you are when you are great. And that takes discipline and that's a skill. And

that's where humility comes into play because humility, when we do not have it, does not allow us to learn and it doesn't allow us to follow and it doesn't allow us to observe the things that work or do not work. So you have to really understand the practical application of where humility fits into your psyche. Humility should not be what the average person will say, right? Like, oh, you know, I'm a humble guy. That guy, he's rich. He's not, he's a fucking, it has nothing to do with that.

Okay. Humble is about understanding that you are no better or no worse than any other person. It's about understanding that your capabilities are as great as everybody else or as limited as everybody else. Okay. But what it mostly means when it comes to a business sense is that you always recognize there's more to learn. You always recognize that you business sense is that you always recognize there's more to learn. You always recognize that you can get better and you always recognize that today is day motherfucking one. Okay. So when you think like that and you actually understand how humility applies to the success journey, it's actually a lot different than what other people think. It has nothing to

do with being rich, has nothing to do with cars, has nothing to do with fucking what you show or the lifestyle you have to live. That's peasant thinking, okay? People who think like that way will never be shit. That's the truth. But you still have to value humility when it comes to your ability to learn. And if you don't have humility in the terms that I'm talking about, okay, you are not going to be able to observe people who are maybe ahead of you in the game, right? Because we're all competitive. We all want to win. We all want to do good. But a lot of us, because we're so competitive, we look at people who are ahead of us. And instead of us like saying, hey, I can learn a lot from this person. I should build a relationship with this person. I should try to support this person. They can help me. We think, fuck that person. We're going

to fucking kill him. We're going to do this and that. And I thought about that. That's how I thought when I was younger too. And it held me back for a long time. So you have to understand that for you to gain the most versatile skill set that you possibly can, you have to be humble enough to learn from others. And that means you have to be a great follower before you can ever become an effective leader. All right. So when we think about this and we think about why it's so important for you to be a great follower before you're an effective leader, you have to understand that the person who's five years down the road that you think is your competitor, they've already been through all the shit that you're struggling with. The person who's 20 years down the road that you are frustrated

with because they're doing that much better than you and you don't think they deserve it, and that's, bro, that's the person that you should be following. That's the person you should be observing. That's the person you should be be following. That's the person you should be observing. That's the person you should be learning from. That's the person you should be building relationships with. That's the person that you want to be close to because those are the people that can show you how to get from where you are to where you want to be in the least amount of time with the least amount of fucking bullshit, to be completely honest. Okay.

So I can tell a lot when I look at young entrepreneurs by how they look at the people ahead of them in the game. I can tell if they're going to make it by how they look at people ahead of them in the game. And if they look at them and be frustrated, for example, you hear me talk about Nike a lot of times. And while I don't agree with Nike and how they do things, and that's a big driver for me, I wanna do things right,

I wanna make American-made products, to do the things the right way for this country because I'm a fucking patriot of this country. However, when I look at the big scope of Nike, I'm a great admirer of Nike. I'm a person who has who can look. I've read the book Shoe Dog. I fucking Phil Knight. These people are visionary people. So I can't let my frustration about how they have chosen to do things keep me from learning lessons when I'm literally on the same fucking path that they're on just 30 years behind them. Okay. So that's my example. I have to push the frustration or push my competitive nature out of it. And I have to look at things for what they are and accept the good things they did. And then also say, okay, well, I wouldn't do these

things that way. I would do them my way. And that's what actually creates the unique brand, the unique product, the unique authenticity that your company and your brand or whatever project it is you're working on, that's what creates it. Your ability to recognize the path, your ability to learn from the people who have done it, and then your ability to throw your own little sauce in here or there with the shit that you don't agree with how they do things. This is just how it's done. And so a lot of you guys, and you're probably wondering, well, why the fuck am I sharing this with you? Because, dude, with the invent of social media and the invent of this fucking personal brand shit, there's so many people out there with overinflated egos that have no fucking idea just how bad they're hurting themselves by not acknowledging the people ahead of them and working to be

friends with them and working with them instead of against them. And I could tell you this, all the people that I ever felt that way about, I am friends with now, every fucking one of them. And you know what? Those people have taught me more about business than I could have learned in an extra 20 years of doing it myself. All right. So do I want to be competitive and I want to be right for those 20 years? And do I want to take every fucking knock right on the fucking face and spend my whole life in a fucking brutal struggle? Or do I want to collapse my own time scale 20 years by learning from these people? I mean, there's an intelligent answer there and it's the fucking latter one. All right. And if you're going to take the first one, you're going to have a really hard time.

And then here's the other thing that you got to think about is that once you get on someone's radar who is that far ahead of you and you're a fucking dick, it's really easy for them to fuck with you and make it really fucking hard for you to win. OK, so my overall overarching theme of this real talk, which I think needs to be said is for you motherfuckers out there or just starting out. Know where the fuck you are in the game. You're at the beginning. You should be humble. You should be paying attention to what everybody else is doing. You should be paying attention to what the person is doing, where you want to be and lose this attitude of like you don't see them or you don't watch them or you don't like them or you don't this because bro, that attitude is only going to show up in other people's eyes as jealousy. And it's only going to push people towards the person that you aren't your competitor,

the exact people that you want to be like when you open your mouth and talk shit. And it's clear to everybody else that you're trying to be just like them. You dilute your brand and you make a clown out of yourself. It's much easier and much less anxiety and much less frustrating to say, hey, they're doing a great job. I really appreciate what they've done. They're setting this, this, this, this, this, and I'm learning this, this, this, this room. We can all work together. And that's how fucking business is done. And I see a lot of these younger people online starting these clothing brands or these fucking, you know, whatever brands. And, you know, they come at it with the whole wrong attitude. They come at it

with like, they're the bad ass right out the gate, bro. No, you ain't, you're selling fucking nothing today. How the fuck are you? How are you so bad? Right? So let's be real. Let's be humble. Let's be honest and let's work together to build everybody together. Okay. So if you want to win, humble yourself. If you want to win, be a good follower. If you want to win, pay attention. If you want to win, add in the things that you think should be corrected based off the model that someone else is already setting for you. Okay. Those are the things that will collapse the timeframe for you to get from where you are to where you want to be in the shortest amount of time. And the reason I wanted to talk about this is because I see it becoming more and

more of a problem. The more and more likes, the more and more shares, the more and more personal attention, the more and more ego. And that ego will fucking kill you. So be aware of it. Pay attention. Be appreciative and be thankful for the people that are paving the way for you to fucking exist and learn from them. If you are learning from someone from afar, you don't have to have a personal relationship from, and you see them make a mistake, you should take whatever that mistake was and pretend like it's in your own little brand or your own little company or in your own little project and go fix that right now. Okay. Anytime I see another brand or a big company or someone make a mistake and do something wrong, I automatically turn around and audit my own

shit based upon their mistake. All right. This is a way to collapse that timeframe I'm talking about. This is the way to gain an extra 10 or 20 years by paying attention to people who've come before you. All right. And by the way, being humble doesn't mean you can't be competitive. I'm as competitive as it fucking gets. All right. We get out on that playing field. I'm going to fucking eat your motherfucking eyeballs out. That's what the fuck I'm about. Okay. But the truth is at the end of the day and at the end of the game, we're going to shake hands. We're going to have a beer and we're going to fucking have a good time hanging out. And that's how it's supposed to be. And if we can all push each other and we can all push the boundaries together of what it means to get better, we can all win. Only people that think that they're going to be the only winner are people with scarcity mindsets. And scarcity

mindsets are cancerous to success. Okay? When you think that you're the only one that can win in your category or your line of business or whatever the fuck it is you do, you're sorely mistaken. And not only are you sorely mistaken, everybody else will come together to force you out. That's how it works. So a lot of you young bucks need to humble yourselves. You need to become a good follower. You need to pay attention. You need to learn the lessons that other people have already learned so that you can get where you want to be in a quicker amount of time. And who knows, maybe you even take that mission or that goal or that line of business into a whole entire new level because you're able to catch up because you're paying such good attention that you're

learning from everybody else's mistakes. That's been a big key for my success. A huge key for my success has been watching other companies, not in my industry, in all industries. And when I see the mistake, I go fix it in my own shit. So take that, do what you will with it. Listen to me or don't listen to me, but I know a few things and I want you guys to win. All right. So humble yourselves, learn how to fucking learn from other people, be a good follower, and you'll become a great leader. That's the show. Go share a show.