REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 333. Q&AF: Healthy Comparisons For Growth, Taking Care Of Employees During Inflation & Redirecting When Working Towards Your Goals

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how you should be utilizing comparisons when working towards your goals, what's the best way to take care of your employees during challenging economic times, and how to course-correct on your journey to success.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af that is where you submit your q's and i give you the as where do they submit the q's dj guys email those questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com that's where you email them in it could be about anything too like whatever if it's a terrible question i just want to answer it i said not anything yeah i mean it could be about anything we just choose not to answer it right um but anyhow uh for those of you who this is your first time listening the show grows at a rapid pace so i always like to give the lay of the land

to start the show unlike many other inferior podcasts that exist out there, we have multiple formats of the kind of show that we do. Okay. So you might tune in today and get Q and AF. You might tune in tomorrow and get CTI. CTI is cruise the internet. So we sort of blend this personal development with what's going on in society. We like to point out these crazy headlines that are going on in the world, the division that's going on in the world, the hate that's going on in the world. We like to deduce what actual truth there is. And then we talk about the base problem and how it should be solved. And Q and AF relates right into that because when we talk about all these problems, when we get to the base level of what needs to be solved, it's always the same thing. We need to raise our standards. We

need to be better people. We need to set better examples. And unless we do that, things will never change. Then sometimes you're going to tune in and we're going to do a real talk, which is a short, high energy, usually a burst of content. And sometimes it's a, you know, something you want to hear. Sometimes it's something you may not enjoy hearing, but we try to keep it real here so that we can all move forward. Then we have full length episode, which is more like a traditional podcast that most of you guys tune into where my guests who are successful in some sort, who have good opinions or views, or maybe even the opposite views of what we have here. Just to have discussion, man.

And most importantly, break down what these incredible people have done so that we can show you guys that they're really not that incredible, or at least they weren't when they started, just like most of us weren't. And that you could be that great too by just just, you know, following the kind of things that we talk about on the show. So that's the basis of the show. And we do have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. If you like the show, if it taught you something, if it made you think, if it made you laugh, it was entertaining, if it was worth your fucking time, we ask that you please share the show. Okay. We could run ads on this show. We could run ads for the show. We don't do that because I am a believer in traditional value exchange.

I also don't want to answer to anybody with sponsorships. So the message is more important to me. I could make a lot of money doing this show, and I leave a lot on the table so I can keep the message pure and I can keep the show pure. So I'd appreciate if you guys would really support the show and help us grow it because that's the only keep the show pure. So I'd appreciate if you guys would really support the show and help us grow it because that's the only way the show grows. We've been able to maintain a very, very, very, very elite high level podcast ranking for, you know, since 2015. And it's all on word of mouth. So I'm very proud of that. I'm proud of you guys who share the show.

And I just want to remind you that that's an important aspect of what we do here. All right. With that being said, today we have q and af um i got a cue for you though yeah yeah so did did uh did you make it out of that police confrontation that you had yesterday yeah dude i'm so surprised like like i mean what you know black dude didn't shoot you yeah black dude biker dude got a gun on him and they didn't i'm alive and they didn't like accuse you of dude biker dude got a gun on him and i didn't i'm alive and they didn't like accuse you of stealing the bike yeah no no none of that or they didn't just shoot you didn't even get a ticket bro that you didn't even get a ticket didn't even get a ticket man that bro you're now we know you're lying it's outliers man yeah that's a lie it was crazy so

you mean like you you treated the cop with respect yeah i complied i didn't he didn't shoot you i i took a responsibility and i held myself accountable for my actions well yeah dude that's amazing blew my fucking mind yeah me too like now now granted i mean it did start off a little weird i did did leave a little poop stain on the seat because it was a little weird at first but again like did you wipe it off yeah it's good now but yeah no i was coming on my way back up from the cops say anything about your poop stain no i didn't smell it i didn't get off the bike so yeah so you had the smell trapped yes i hit it and then when you get up it would have wafted out probably killed the cop then you would have been in jail for fucking ever there's assault yeah

exactly yeah on the nose yeah so no i was on my way back up from uh from memphis just solo riding i'm cruising listening to some, uh, system of a down, right. I'm fucking jamming. And you know, like on two lane highways,

right? Like there's always this motherfucker who likes to fucking block the left lane. Right. And so I'm like, I'm waiting for this guy to fucking part the red sea so I can, you know, get back to my cruise. Right.

I got like 20 miles left before I got to stop for gas and fucking parts and i fucking i get going right and get up get back up to my cruise and speed and which was what i'm not gonna like in uh myself did it have two digits or three digits okay it was three digits for sure so we have a black man on a stolen motorcycle driving three digits speed with shit on the seat and you survived how'd you do it so dude no so as soon as i mean when i got going he was coming the opposite direction on the other side of the highway and i see the fucking truck and i see highway patrol right and we had just passed you know the little little like uh the medians where you can like you know change switch sides emergency yeah he fucking passes that up but i see him fucking slam on his brakes and pulls off to the side of the highway right

in my mind i'm like yeah no fucking way he can't catch me he's already passed a little fucking merger thing he just goes through the grass dude no i mean he had the the cable thing right reverses on the wrong side to flip around and in my mind still i'm like there's no fucking way he can get me right and so i'm watching you know the mirrors on the bike are pretty small right so i'm looking in fucking mirrors right the whole time i'm doing like 75 at this time and that's your mistake right right i should just keep going no well the mistake is you go faster so dude i'm looking looking at my mirrors bro and i'm seeing cars all kinds of interesting things for me yeah no shit i mean it sounds like you got some experience but now as i'm rolling and i see these fucking cars just parting the fucking red sea as you see

this little black dot oh and i'm like fuck no can't be right and sure shit is this fucking hell i'm like fuck man like damn you know i'm saying so we pull over black man can't catch a break that's what i'm saying like just fucking depressing me you know i'm saying and so i pull over and you know he didn't even pull up behind me like they normally do on traffic stops right he just ran you over he pulled no he pulls right in front of my fucking bike to block me right like he's in the fucking work like he's blocking traffic he pulls right in front of me gets out he was pissed he's like give me your keys and i'm like well i don't the bike didn't have a key has a five you're like give me that i'm like listen man i'm not gonna go nowhere like he's like no problem no problem i'm like i'm gonna

i'm gonna get my key for you give him my five he gets back in his truck and then he pulls back behind me like a normal traffic stop yeah he gets out I'm like hey listen sorry he's like I know I fucked up you know what I'm saying

you just told him yeah I'm telling him he's like well how fast do you think you were going that's how you do it dude he's like how fast do you think you were going I'm like well I'm gonna be honest

I got 90 plus or minus 10 maybe you know what I'm saying and he's like yeah 111 i'm like fuck i'm like all right he's like you got your id and so we gotta start going through all of that and but again it was it was respectful i accept the responsibility right i told him i was armed right don't reach for it i'm like don't plan on it you know what i'm saying and and uh yeah it was good we we left ended off with a handshake he told me like hey well there's probably a couple

more down the road so i'd i'd tell you to slow down i'm like yeah no problem and i did uh i did the speed limit the entire trip home and because there definitely was crazy dude how like when you like you know like just say hey i was in the wrong yeah i shouldn't have been doing that uh like i'm not gonna lie why you pull i'm not gonna start all of that like there's no point i know why you pulled me over. I'm actually surprised that you caught me because I didn't think you were going to come. I thought you were like, cool, we can take that one.

I told you this story before, but I've never told the story on the show. One time I was driving at the old house. I have all those back roads at the old house. They were like a little track. Needs some roads too. I was driving Lamborghini and uh I was driving two digits how I drive

and I always have my fucking carry on the on the uh seat on the passenger seat yeah and uh fucker woman cop pulls me over and uh she said do you know why i pulled you over i said yeah because i let you i got a ticket you're about to lose your job yeah i got a ticket and you know what and i my buddies were on the police force uh they're in uh in the municipality i lived in and i'm like hey man is this is this chick cool and they're like no absolutely not i'm like i'm like all right and then you know what's funny i actually saved that same lady like two weeks later from a fucking confrontation yeah so yeah it's pretty funny anyhow i mean just being a good person neither here nor there yeah but you're welcome right you know what i'm happy i don't care if i if you got a ticket for something i did i'm fucking all right with that if you got me you got

me that's it that's how i was fully prepared that's how i feel about it i'm like i'm like dude if you fucking got me you got me that's it that's it i mean i was hoping like okay maybe hopefully it works with me don't write me fucking you know going 40 over i'm yeah my license right like help me out but i'll take it i will take me and jason got pulled over we were on a rally we were going across texas oh bm rally uh no oh yeah we were going to we were going to blm yeah really fast across the state of texas and uh and we may or may not have been uh extremely hung over yeah and we got pulled over by a texas state highway patrol oh man and uh we were really fast real fast four digits yes four all the digits uh he wrote us for 90 but i was i appreciated that

right that's like i gotta write this for 90 otherwise i gotta take you to jail i'm like i'll take it yeah give me two yeah anyhow hey we got q a yeah i got i got some good ones for you oh you do yeah i got some good ones for you man yeah so uh i'm just happy to still be alive me too man i'm glad i'm you know i said i said andy the the i took a picture hopefully i mean i was hoping that that didn't fucking get me fucked up but i took a picture i like took a selfie like yo we're all good though yeah yeah all right man well i got some good ones for you let's knock these out andy question number one uh i've been told my entire life that i should never compare myself to anyone be authentic be genuine and don't worry about what other people are doing but in your experience are there any benefits or healthy ways or reasons to compare yourself to other people i think it's important to, I don't think that the idea of not compare people say comparison is the thief

of joy. Right. And, and Ed, um, that my let talks about this a lot, like zero comparison. And, uh, generally I agree with that. Like, I think it's a good idea. I think that whenever you, um, you know, on day-to-day life, like people get caught up in looking, especially in business, like you have your, you know, other businesses that are at the same level you are and you're constantly like looking over there, looking over here and looking over there and then looking over here again.

And like, it's just a very strong distraction. You always feel like you're losing because you don't really know the real story of what's going on anywhere else and i feel like in a lot of those contexts you know and even a personal context like when you look at someone's life from the outside um you know you can't really know what's going on you just see the result yeah you see a fucking front that they put out very few people present themselves as they truly are in the moment and it that's not a fault on those people it's just not the reality of life like nobody wakes up in the morning in a bad mood and then like dresses like they're in a bad mood

and then like goes and advertises it and you know what i'm saying like some some people well some people yeah but but the point is is that like that's not how we humans operate in social construct. Yeah. Like how we operate is we fucking try to come to work, contribute, do our thing, live our lives, and we try to put on our best front. Yeah. And that's just the natural propensity, I think, of humans on a daily basis. And because of that, you know, certain people take that to an extreme to where they pretend like their shit is perfect. They have no problems. They have no struggles. They have no anxiety. They're just a fucking machine of winning and all this shit.

And they don't, they don't realize that, you know, that's actually pretty harmful to, to try and like present yourself that way because the people that look at you as a leader or look at you and want to be like you makes them feel more uh on makes it seem unattainable to get to where you are because it's a goal yeah because you're setting an unrealistic standard so you know i think when it comes to setting like a big goal right like what i want to do with my life or what i want my life to mean or what i want my company to be like a big goal right like what i want to do with my life or what i want my life to mean or what i want my company to be like or what you know comparison's a natural part of that you know i i when i when i i think comparison can be very useful to humble you when you need it um you know when i start thinking i'm really awesome i look at people like bezos or i look

at people like musk right um and i think well fuck bro i'm not even a booger on their fucking nose you see what i'm saying so that can be helpful too um that can also be harmful if you don't have the right mindset for it so i really think it's important to be aware of proper comparisons versus uh just saying no comparisons because the truth is is like dude you can't really learn how to be better if you're not comparing yourself in some way, shape or form. Yeah. Right. So there's, there's a level of comparison I think that's healthy. And I think there's a level of comparison that is negative. And I think it's important for the person to have an awareness of which is which, you know, and, um, you know, that takes practice. You know, if you catch yourself

looking at your competitors or looking at people that you admire and starting to hate them just because they're doing their daily shit, you know, that means it's probably not a good thing for you to be comparing in those ways. Right. Um, if you compare yourself to someone, let's say like, uh, you know, um, I don't know, like the rock, right? Like a lot of people look at the rock and they're like, fuck, I want to, I want to look like that. I want to be like that. Um, you know, you got to realize that like he's put in his whole life to get where he's at. Right. And so like, while that might be a good long-term comparison for you,

um, if you compare yourself today to that, you're going to feel like a loser. So like there's levels to how, how we compare and stack up against what it is we're trying to create or achieve. Right. And so I think it's just important to have awareness. I think it's important to, you know, if you're feeling bad when you compare yourself, if you feel bad right now, look at what you're watching, look, pay attention to who you're paying attention to and what information are you putting in your brain that's making you feel that way.

Um, but I think comparison is very valuable whenever we look at it in a healthy way. You know, like when you say, Hey, what kind of life do you want? You say,

I want a life like this person and this and this and this and this and this that they all have. Those are fucking great places to, to shoot for. Um, when we say all the time time like you have to see what's fucking for sure and i feel like when people hear no comparison whatsoever they think that like they shouldn't even try to aspire because they right because they feel like there should be no comparison to be equally as damaged so there's there's you know there's different ways to look at this and it's not as simple as some fucking internet buzz wine right or a meme right you know uh comparison isn't always the thief of joy now it can be if you

don't think about it right but it also is very useful in certain other aspects especially when you're trying to live an exceptional life how do you even know what an exceptional life looks like if you can't find people that are already living the exceptional life and then comparing your life against that and saying, okay, this is where I need to work. I need to work here. I need to work here. I need to work here. And then going and doing that work in that regard, comparison is very constructive. So, you know, there's multiple ways to look at that. Um, I think the person who's asking this question, I think they're, they have a natural understanding of what i just said by the nature of the question they asked see what i'm saying yeah yeah because like it doesn't resonate with them right they're not

making they're like what do you mean no comparison right like fuck dude if you're a competitor you're gonna fucking compare right you know that's part of the this whole no comparison like this all comes from the idea of oh oh, we're not competition. Motherfucker, we are in competition. We are in competition with other fucking humans. That's the reality. You can you can wash it with your fucking feel good emotions and make it sound sweet, make it sound nice. But at the end of the motherfucking day, there's winners and there's fucking losers.

That is a that is a fact of fucking nature. If you't believe me go watch national grief geographic fucking channel go watch a documentary on nature we are a part of nature right humans competition is a real thing survival of the strongest is a real fucking thing no matter what they try to indoctrinate our culture and society with have you ever thought about why they try to indoctrinate our culture and society with. Have you ever thought about why they try to indoctrinate our culture, our society with fucking the idea that there's no winners and losers and that everybody's the same and that nobody should even try to win because it's unethical. That's because it makes people fucking nothing and it's easy to control

nothing. Right. So winning is great. It's easy to win when nobody else is competing. It's easy to keep people from taking over when they're not trying to win or be better. Right. So, you know, I, I question everything. I question all the social narratives and movements.

I don't believe in the framework of society is set up for the prosperity of the natural human being. And I believe that, you know, there's a lot of things in, in that have been going on for a long time that are designed to keep us from becoming who we could actually become. And I think this is one of them shying away from competition, not keeping score, giving out trophies for showing up. These are bad things. These are things that lead to what we're seeing in society right now.

And I've been talking about this for fucking years. So, um, it's a part of reality.'re gonna have to compete you're gonna have to compare uh can it get too much absolutely but in general like a big reason people become great is because they compare themselves to the greatest people on the fucking planet right that's real man love it love it guys question number two andy as a small business owner what's the best way to take care of your people when you can't necessarily afford to pay them well due to the inflation all the shit going on right now in the economy i have a lot of great employees i don't want to lose them or get rid of them what's the best course of action i can take right now anything you can do

to improve their lives anything you can do to make their lives easier um you know back in the day when we would when we were in that position you know we would all help each other we would help each other move we would help each other do things we would help each other with projects we would fucking you know it's about bringing that family in tight dude and doing what you can do to help people in times when money's not an object you know i didn't always have the ability to pay people well yeah um about saying inflation is every day if you're a small business right like i mean just getting started yeah and it's a it's a it's a tough dynamic because you know um when you're a small business and you're in the beginning cash flow is always limited so i understand and empathize with that but you know

i've been through that a couple different times and you've just got to do whatever the fuck you can um you know any any type of way that you can make their life easier uh i think you know and i also think that your employees understand that times are hard um i think everybody understands that and i think sometimes you know small gestures that may not make a huge difference um make a huge difference in everything yeah like hey i'm aware that you're fucking shit that shit's fucked up like let us do this i know it's not a lot but like those little things that you can do here or there make a big difference to people in my opinion um that's been my experience you know what i mean uh that's a hard situation and and unfortunately i think it's going to get a lot harder. I think things are going to get really bad financially. Um, and I think you guys need

to prepare for it. I think everybody out there with employees needs to really talk to their employees about a plan. If like emergency situations were to happen, like, what do we do? How do we stick together? How do we help each other? I think those things are important because, um, I believe that we are truly in danger of having our financial system collapse at some point in the near future, which means there's going to be a time of time, a period of time where like there is no money. You understand? Yeah. I mean, like it's going to be a really weird, different time and we're sliding into it. We're already seeing it in other countries across Europe. You know, uh, people in Europe right now, the poor people are not

being able to survive. We're, we're really close to that here. So, I mean, um, you know, you guys got to stick together. That's really what it comes to. It comes to, you know, you're going to realize that if you're the leader of a company, you're also the leader of these people. And, you know, it's not just about your company. It's not just about the financial wellbeing. It's about everybody's lives and keeping everybody safe. And I could tell you this, the leaders that step up and help their people get through this tough time will get in return, massive reward when they get through it, because you'll have a galvanized team. You know, part of the reason people, people ask like how we develop what we have here at our companies. Well, a lot of the key people have been through really hard times together. You know what I'm saying? And so,

you know, I would look at it as a chance to galvanize your team and, and make, bring your team closer instead of just trying to pay them more money that you don't have at that time. So it's going to get weird, and it means you're going to have to get creative. That's real, man. Andy, guys, our third and final question. Question number three. Andy, how do you correct or redirect course

when you're on a path to accomplishing a goal and you see that a change in the game plan is needed how do you redirect if you're in the middle of that fucking play well you pivot yeah you oh fuck yeah yeah bro anytime the minute you recognize that what there's a nuance there by the way okay the more experience you have the quicker you're going to be able to realize the less experience you have. It's going to take you longer to realize, which means you're going you are on a plan and you realize that it's not going to work and you know, it's not going to work. Most people don't have the courage to change it. They will keep fucking writing it down because it was their plan. Right. And they think

magically somehow it's going to turn around or it's going to flip, or it's going to create a positive and it's just not um so you have to have humility and then the other thing you have to have is experience because the quicker that you can recognize when something's off course um the quicker you could pivot it into being on course and you know it's really something that you have to learn through doing it's not something that can be explained uh but i know the most successful businesses are the most fluid they're the people who can adapt the quickest they're the people who who can recognize where a pivot needs to be made and make it immediately with no ego involved like there's no like oh man i'm so sorry

i was wrong dude this ain't the right play let's run this play right you know that's how quick it has to be iceberg yeah right that's how quick it has to be there could be no ego there can be no emotion there can be no this was my idea so it has to work and i think this reflects in society right now we see a lot of people who have made a mental investment and going along with the agenda that's being propagated by our media which has been clearly a fucking lie and they're still having trouble letting go of it because they bought into it two years ago all right those people will fail in fucking life and business because they can't fucking let their ego go and make a pivot it's a those things have to happen immediately now now there's an asterisk on this there's also a group of people who don't let their idea play

out far enough before they pivot. And then they spend their whole time pivoting from one to the next, to the next, to the next. And you can't get ahead that way either. So when I said there's nuance, you have to be able to honestly assess the scenario, not hope. I'm not hoping, right? I'm not praying. I'm not, I'm not like guessing. I'm assessing like what is happening.

Oh, you're fucking people are getting their faces shot. Who? Steve and Tony and fucking Teresa got fucking their heads blown off. Well, we probably shouldn't go that way anymore. Right. Right. Right. Like I don't I don't send in three more and then three more and then three more. Yeah. That's how you fucking lose. right so when you know but let's say the scenario is oh we sent these three people in and they make they we've almost there well then maybe you do send three more people in right so there's all kinds of nuance these scenarios that you have to be aware of but at the end of the day this is about being a realist it's about assessing the facts it's about letting go of emotion it's about letting go of the need to be correct and it's about assessing what is in real life and making decisions quickly um or maybe not as quickly uh if you're if you're a chronic

pivoter yeah um to make things happen yeah you know and so there's nuance there and you just got to figure it out. But I think most people, um, most people have not mastered the art of nuance when it comes to this. Yeah. You know, they, they, they, they have a hard time seeing when the appropriate time is to pivot. Um, or they have a hard time seeing that they need a pivot or they have a hard time not pivoting too soon. Right. So these are all things that you just need to be aware of because they're all true in different scenarios that could present themselves. Yeah. So how you think through these things and how you understand these things, it takes real thought. Like you should sit down and draw this shit out on a fucking board. If I do this, what will happen fucking board if i do this what will happen if i do this what will happen if i do this what will happen and if you have to sit down and draw

that out on a board or on a piece of paper to get your mind to think this way um it's worth it yeah because you'll develop a skill and you'll start to learn how this works and then in the future you'll be better at making these kind of decisions. But I would say, you know, it depends. That's the answer. To follow up on that, Andy, would you say that when scaling, right? Like going from the 10 employees and, you know, now you got thousands, right? Like making those pivots, what's the trickle down effect? like you said the more experience you have the easier it is to make those pivots but like what's the actual process like of those pivots being actually you know installed and actually changed like from up top to well for me

you know what i would do is i'll walk in the room and i'll say hey this isn't fucking working and they'll be and i'll say is it and they'll say well actually it's this this and this and sometimes when i get the real data and i look at it i say okay actually it is where it just doesn't look like it's working you just need a little bit more time okay right i need to i need to bake the cake for a little bit longer right um sometimes you know i walk in i say this isn't fucking working and we look at the data and it's not working. And then we say, okay, this is what we need to do. And the decision is made.

We don't sit there and say, oh, well, you said this and this and this would work. Or you know what? He said this would work. I don't care about that. I care. Is it working or is it not working? And if it's not working, what do we need to do to make it work? That's it.

And that's how the thought process should be. There's too much ego involved in most companies. You know, they want their plan to work or they want their play to run. Dude, there's a famous saying out there. It's amazing what you can accomplish when nobody cares about the credit. And that's, that's the way to think about this. Like, it doesn't matter if you came up with the best idea or the worst idea. We're all on the same team.

Let's figure out how to get us on the best idea, no matter whose it is. You know what i'm saying yeah so like ego ego in leadership is usually what fucks all that up yeah it's the truth you know people get a leadership title or a leadership ego um or some power or an office and they think like you know you guys know what i'm talking about yeah yeah you know people who just think that they got to have it their way. No, you're right. Yeah. And that, that is a, that's a toxic leadership trait that will get you buried by someone

who doesn't think that way and can clearly see the options that are better. So. That's real, man. Guys, Andy, that's three. Yeah. I'll pay the fee. Let's go. Yeah.

We're from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a pole. Fuck a stove. Yeah, go pay the fee Let's go