REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 341. Q&AF: Dealing With Yes Men, Using Loans Vs. Using Savings & Asking For Help

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what's the best way to deal with yes men, whether it's a smarter option to take out a loan or use money from your savings when starting your business and why it's crucial to drop your ego when asking for help.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the Qs and I give you the AFs. You can submit your questions at, email those in to askandy at andyfussolla.com. Don't make them stupid, okay? Ask good questions, you get good answers. Ask stupid questions and you remain stupid. Then sometimes when you tune in, now, if this is your first time, we have multiple formats on the show. This is not like most shows where you tune in. It's the same thing every day. We do different things a lot of different times on the show. So you never really know what we're going to put out

on a daily basis. So today we're going to have Q and AF. Sometimes we're going to have CTI, which is cruise the internet. That is where we put headlines on the screen. We talk about what actual little truth there is in the headlines. We talk about the fundamental problem at hand, and then we talk about what we can do to solve it. Okay. And we're going to laugh at that shit because it is, it's ridiculous. All right. So there's a little bit of comedy. There's a little bit of fucking knowledge, but there's a lot of problem solving. And then Q&A lends itself to that because all those problems have to be solved by excellent people. So if we're not excellent, we can't solve these problems. All right. Then we have real talk. Real talk is a short little speech, five, 10 minutes, 20 minutes about something I think is important to talk about that we all need to be aware of and execute upon.

Then we have full length podcasts, which is we bring in successful people, interesting people, people with, with opinions. Sometimes they're bad opinions, but we're willing to have those conversations because that's what being human is. Okay. And when it comes to the successful guests that we have on the show, the whole point is to bring them on and break them down and to show you how they got where they are because you and I and all of these other people are all the same. It's just what we do that makes the difference. So the goal of this show is to make you better. The goal of this show is to make the world better.

And we have a unique way of doing that. And if it resonates with you, if it's something that gives you perspective, if it's something that makes you laugh, if it makes you learn something, if it makes you better, if it helps you grow your business, please share the show. Okay. One thing you'll notice about the show is we don't run ads. We don't run ads on the show. We don't run ads for the show.

I can make eight figures a year on the traffic of this show, just running ads. I don't do it because i don't want to corrupt the message i don't want anybody's input and i want you all to stay uh you know i want to i want to respect your time i'm not here to fucking sell you shit i'm here to make a difference so uh if you like the show please share it that's what we ask so with that being said let's get into this q and a f oh yeah man i got some good ones for you surprisingly yeah surprise um yeah let's get into this man uh question number one andy how do you handle the yes man uh or the yes man employee and and more importantly can you prevent that from from even

being a person in your workplace um look there's two there's two kinds of people that are highly fucking annoying okay there is the person who says and agrees with everything you say and then there's the person who comes in and thinks that they're the only person that disagrees with you so they disagree with everything you say. Contrary. Yes. And these two people are fucking annoying as shit from an, from a, from an executive point of view or from a leader point of view, they get, they offer no real value. You can't trust their opinions. And because they are trying to manipulate their position in the eyes, in your eyes, right? They're trying to make themselves look more valuable. They never become

valuable because people who are in leadership positions and people who are aware, they understand what both of these people are up to. Both of them are up to the same game. It's just on a different end of the spectrum. Okay. I get people to come up to me all the fucking time and say, Andy, you know what? I'm that guy that disagrees with you because no one disagrees with you and people are afraid to disagree with you. Hey, fuck you. Okay. I got enough people that disagree with me. In fact, I analyze every decision I make to the point where I don't even know if I disagree with me or not. I'm a very aware human. I don't need anybody piling on. I don't need any of you fucking people that think you're like some sort of an aware person going to tell me the shit no one wants to tell me. I'm going

to continue to do me. And if you come to me and you tell me that, I automatically cut you out of my circle. Okay. Now, if I think that you're one of these yes people that never tells the truth, I don't cut you out of the circle. I just don't listen to anything you say. Okay. I don't read my own headlines. I don't read my own criticisms. I do what the fuck I'm about. I make the moves that I think I can make. And I want honest feedback.

And if you are a person who wants to be valuable to a more successful person and you want to endear yourself and actually get in their circle, offer honest feedback. Tell the truth. If things are uncomfortable, say they're uncomfortable. If things are right, say they're right. If you agree, agree. If you disagree, disagree. Doing the right thing, behaving like an actual adult, not trying to manipulate the situation is actually how you create value in yourself. Yeah. Okay. Now, those two groups of people, I would say make up a third of the people in each way. So we have 33% that agree, 33% that think they're the contrarian because they're so fucking intelligent.

Yeah. And they always say the same shit. You and me are a lot alike. Yeah. Motherfucker, we ain't nothing alike. We're the same. We ain't nothing alike. Look at your life and look at my life. We are't nothing alike. We're the same. We ain't nothing alike. Look at your life

and look at my life. We are nothing fucking alike. And when you say that to me, it's irritating as fuck because I have earned all of this and you have yet to earn your position to even say that. All right. So I like the 33% of the people like the people in this room or the people in my executive meeting that actually tell me the truth. Hey, do we have a problem here? No. Do we have a problem here? Yes. Right. What's the solution? And then they bring solutions. And that's another point. I don't, people don't bring me fucking problems. If you bring me problems, you are fucking nothing to me. If you bring me solutions and more than one solution, right? A solution with then another solution and maybe even another solution to back that up.

Now you're valuable, right? That's what I pay you for. I pay you to fucking come up with solutions and solve problems. I don't pay you just to come report the bad news to me, motherfucker. All right. So if you want to become valuable, understand, tell the fucking truth. Say when you agree, say when you disagree. And when you identify a problem, come up with the solution or potential solutions before you even approach me or your leader or your CEO. I can promise you every single CEO that you have that's out there that is worth a fuck

operates this way and if they don't then you should leave your company and go somewhere else it's it's funny so like I mean I pay attention to I do my best to pay attention to your mannerisms and how you do things right hold on what happens when yes man and fucking contrarian come up to me and say shit what do i say what do what happens with the minute they walk away what happens tell the truth what happens tell the truth uh first hold on do i say oh man they're so fucking valuable do i say oh man i really like that person no what do i say that dude's full of shit yeah i say what a fucking idiot i'm gonna say the first thing i say i say that guy or if they're meaning well i'll say that's a good person but they're very unaware yeah yeah you you also say to them

directly when they say some shit that you know you're like oh yeah yeah that's your favorite yeah it is someone come to tell me some shit like i don't you're like, oh yeah. Yeah. That's your favorite line. Yeah, it is. Someone come to tell me some shit. Like, I don't know. I'm like, oh yeah, really? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know what to say.

No. Cause then they start trying to explain something they know nothing about. Makes them say. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But bro, I can promise you if you come up to me and you're like, I'm going to be the guy that tells you what you really motherfucker.

I've been doing this 23 fucking years. Look around. I'm pretty fucking good at it it i'm pretty good at my fucking my little framework that i operate on i don't need you in it so shut the fuck up mind your own business unless you got a real solution that's right i'm willing to hear it that's real uh but follow-up question on preventing it right like and i've noticed like i do my best to pay attention to how you operate and the things that you do right um and i i i find that like when you're talking to a team or you're talking to a meeting right and you you're you're trying to get the opinions and take the input from everybody else you always ask them for their uh opinion on the matter before you give yours what's the method behind the madness because i don't want. These, these yes people will mold their opinion around mine. Right. So the only way to get honest feedback

is to get them to say first, right? Yeah. It's like negotiation. He who speaks first loses the negotiation, right? And typical negotiating. Now I'm a negotiator. I am a different kind of negotiator. In fact, I had this discussion with Emily last night. She was reading a book on negotiation that was basically about not splitting the middle. And that's completely wrong, in my opinion. The truth of the matter, a great deal is a deal that everybody walks away and says, man, I got treated right there. I won. That's a fucking good deal. This idea of trying to get as much as you can and fuck the other guy, that's why those people are all mediocre. And I promise you the motherfucker that wrote that motherfucking book

ain't... Bro, he doesn't make in a year what I make in a fucking week. It's the truth. No shit, man. Okay? So let's be real about fucking negotiating. Be fucking fair. Do good. Do the right thing. And let everybody feel good about it. And eventually eventually that all catches up and it pays off. saved up. In the current financial climate, would it be wiser to start the business from that savings

account or take out a loan or capital for the business while still having the 50K for emergencies? What's your thought process on that? You know, I never used other people's money. I don't, I think that's, I think that's a question of comfort. What are you comfortable with? You know, um, all these banks, when, when we were, when we didn't have any money, they wouldn't give us any money. Okay. So I became like debt averse. Like I don't like debt. You know, some of these guys out there on the internet talking about being a billionaire, they owe a billion dollars, right? When the bank loans you a billion dollars and you go out, buy a billion dollars of real estate, you're not a

billionaire. You're fucking, you're the middleman. You owe a billion dollars. Okay. Do you understand that? That's fucking reality. Okay. So I don't have any debt. I don't own any, I don't owe shit on this company. I don't owe shit on my fucking properties i am an anomaly and uh in that regard and that's because and that's also why it's taken 23 fucking years okay so it took me a lot longer because i have that so it could be looked at as a true handicap it's all about comfort nobody ever wanted to invest in me and i was so afraid of like having to owe people money or things going wrong that i never took money from people or even just getting told no again yeah i'm just dude there was a time where i went to fucking i went to like fucking i don't know in a month i went to like 40 banks

like i went to one every day and i had to put on a fucking suit and go like suck dick for fucking asking for a chance bro i'm not doing it fuck that right and and once i got done with that i'm like you know what fuck this and this is kind of how i feel about the country right now and all these motherfuckers who won't stand up and speak fuck this i do it my fucking self and that's how i've been my whole life nobody cheered for me the first fucking 15 years we're in fucking business i didn't i wasn't cool i wasn't the mFCEO. I wasn't a baller. Nobody wanted to fucking hang out with me. Every fucking girl I dated fucking left.

Like, bro, I was a fucking loser for 15 fucking years. If you're willing to be a loser 15 years, maybe you could be a billionaire too. But that's the truth. Okay? It's a totally different thing. So I personally don't, I am not comfortable with debt that I can't pay right away. Okay. Now escalating our company to a $50 billion level, which is what we're going to do. That's probably going to require some fucking money. But the reality is, is I have so much money now I can sell finance because I saved it all. Right. Right. So, so it depends

on what path you want to go. You could definitely go faster by, by using other people's money and it makes financial sense, but I would offer you this just like we talked on the, I don't know, a couple of shows ago about people who advertise too soon. Okay. If you don't really know what you're doing and you borrow money, you're just killing your own life because you're going to lose it. Right. Most people borrow money and they go spend it on marketing. They don't really know what you're doing and you borrow money, you're just killing your own life because you're going to lose it. Right. Most people borrow money and they go spend it on marketing. They don't even know as fucking that works or not. And, you know, they end up owing whatever the fuck they borrowed or got invested or they go out of business and lose someone's money.

This is why there's all these brands out there with these big valuations with no proven concept. Right. Because all the guys with real money are looking for that home run, and they don't care if they lose fucking $3 or $4 million. Right? There's a lot of those guys. All right? There's venture capital fucking companies that are like,

yeah, we'll risk $200 million on this potential $10 billion deal. Right. Okay? So there's a lot of companies that give big money and talk about their valuation that don't have a viable product that actually works a lot. My recommendation would be to build a product that actually works and make the foundation strong and make sure that all those things we talked about on the other episode are there where, you know, there's no holes in the boat and then maybe consider the money. That's, that's what I would, That's how I would play it.

I don't know this person's situation. I don't know anything about them. I don't even know their fucking business. But that's generally how I move. Guys, our third and final question. There's a lot of relief knowing you don't owe anybody shit. The reason I can get on here and say the fucking shit that I say and speak freely is because I don't owe anybody shit. You know, the reason I can get on here and say the fucking shit that I say and speak freely

is because I don't owe anybody fucking anything. Yeah, there's no leverage. In fact, most people owe me. It's real. Guys, Andy, our third and final question.

Andy, question number three. I like to believe that I'm a very independent person uh my friends and family they all know that i typically don't ask for help on most things can you give me some tips to maybe change this mindset if it's necessary absolutely absolutely necessary yeah i had dinner last night with a man actually i didn't have dinner with him i had him at my house um with a man. Actually, I didn't have dinner with him. I had him at my house with a man who's 11 years older than me and probably 30 times fucking smarter and a lot more wealthy. I'm learning every day. I'm asking for help every day. I'm asking for advice every day. I'm surrounding

myself with people that know more than me at every single fucking opportunity and I'm fucking pretty wealthy. So if I can ask for help, get the fuck over it. Yeah. If you don't ask for help, you will be broke your whole life. If you don't ask for guidance, you will be broke your whole life. If you don't make an active effort to put knowledge in your brain, you'd be broke your whole life, period. That's it. And the cool thing about where we live now and how we live now is that you have people like myself or Ed Milet or one of the fucking whoever, however many are that are truly successful who have built real shit out there teaching people. Dude, I didn't have that shit. That shit did not exist when I grew up. There was books like I read about Sam Walton, which is by the way,

you should do. You know, I had some Tony Robbins books, which I owe a lot to Tony Robbins. You know what I'm saying? But like these, these, the way the information is taught now, there's no excuse to be a fucking dumb fuck. It's just pure laziness. Like you're worried about playing call of duty or whatever fuck fantasy bullshit you guys fuck with instead of worrying about what really matters oh that doesn't money doesn't matter the fuck it doesn't the fuck it doesn't go get some money and tell me it doesn't matter the only reason you say it doesn't matter because you don't fucking have any that's real can you talk a little bit about just removing that ego because he actually finishes up he says it's not that i don't want to ask i interrupt people ever huh what huh you didn't even get the joke no i didn't hear it probably because i was interrupting him can you uh go ahead read the last part can can you can you touch a little bit

about just like breaking down that ego that ego wall though because he finishes up he says uh it's not that i don't want to ask for help i just don't want it to come off from a place of weakness that's your ego yeah bro we're all weak it ain't about us it ain't about us it's about building yourself into the most and the best example that you ever have so that everybody else fucking looks at you and says hey look what's possible how how are you gonna let you you looking vulnerable or weak at some point like keep you from becoming who the fuck you were put here on this planet to become fulfilling your american purpose your human purpose becoming a great enough example of what's possible that people around you are inspired to do better and be better hold a

higher standard you're gonna let somebody like a small little insecurity, bro. We're all weak. We're all fucking stupid. All of us are guessing the best guests that we can. The only reason I'm able to offer the advice I offer is because I've fucking, I guess wrong every fucking time, just as much as I guess, right. Every time I guessed, right, there was two or three wrong guesses before that. And I'm willing to share that with you to speed your process up. That's it. So like, I'm no different than any of you fuckers.

I'm fucking weak. You're weak. We're all weak at some point in time. That's reality. Get over it. You want to become the best example of what you could be in life? Then ask people that fucking know more than you to help

that's get that it's obvious yeah you know i'm saying bro ego keeps people stuck where they are and just like humility people have a wrong understanding of what ego is like bro if you don't have a fucking good self-strong belief of yourself you can't do the shit that i do like these pro athletes and you guys are like oh yeah they got a big ego no shit you know how hard it is to go out in front of a hundred thousand people and fucking do what the fuck you do at a high at the highest level possible if you don't think you're the shit you can't even do it you can't even run onto the fucking field. Like I can't go on the stage if I don't grow. If I don't think I am the baddest motherfucker on the planet, how the fuck can I go speak in

front of a fucking 80,000 fucking people? You can't do it. So ego is necessary. It's just understanding when to deploy the proper ego and when to pull it back and allow yourself to understand that, you know, it's appropriate here. It's not appropriate everywhere. And sometimes we have to put our ego aside over here, uh, you know, on the shelf for later so that we can download new information that improves our belief in ourself. So then when we pull the ego off the shelf and we need it, it's even stronger and that's how the fuck it works. So like, it's a balance of all these things. And there's too many average motherfuckers that haven't ever done a motherfucking thing

in their life, pointing fingers and saying, big ego, uh, to not humble motherfucker. You guys don't know shit. You haven't accomplished shit. You haven't done shit. You don't employ anybody. You haven't built shit, but you got a motherfucking opinion about fucking everybody. The only reason you have that opinion is because you ain't never done a motherfucking thing and you're too stupid to know any better. That's the truth. It's awareness. Their awareness is so low that they're going to

point their finger at you for everything you do different. But listen to me, dude, because I know what the fuck I'm talking about here. All right. they won't get it you they will never get it the average person at the at the base level awareness will always point at people who believe in themselves or who have dreams or who uh live outside the norm and they'll point and say big ego or fucking it's just like the liberals when they post they say racist it's the same shit right it's the same shit it means nothing zero who's it coming from right you have to consider the source dude if you listen to them you'll be like them you listen to people who you want to be like guess what happened then you'd be like them so anyway it's powerful shit yeah i'm the best at what i do

fucking love it it is it's the truth yeah so name a motherfucker out there that can fucking do this that's the thing i mean like i mean that was the three guys see now i'll put that aside i'll put that aside and i'll go read four or five books between now and the next fucking next week yeah you see what I'm saying? That's how it works. Yeah. I think it's cool, though, because I mean, I don't know if you guys listening understand, but like, you know, Andy does not see these questions. He doesn't.

We don't talk about this shit before we start recording. It's just here's a fucking question. Then fucking. That's why whenever I go speak and get better, put me on the fucking stage in front of fucking how it doesn't matter how many people. Yeah. And they have a Q&A. That's why every motherfucking question comes to me bro you know why because i've actually done this shit i've created shit from nothing there's no i'm not pretending right there's no i'm not pretending i'm not i'm not teaching you things that i think

i'm not teaching you things i guess a lot of people think that like i'm guessing or don't know motherfucker i look a lot younger than i really am and behave like i'm still fucking 13 but don't let that fool you i know a thing or two that's real shit man because i see the thing but see people will hear that they hear me on the show they're like fucking ego right right right but they don't realize like bro if you don't how are you how am i going to come on this show every motherfucking week and to speak against the most powerful people on the planet and i think i'm the shit in front of millions of people bro right right you get it you have a little bit yeah then i fucking go sit in the locker room

and I take my fucking hat off and I start to learn some more. And then when I come in here, I put the motherfucker on. Yeah. See what I'm saying? Fuck yeah. We all need to do that.

That's how you do it. When it's time to execute, you know, you need to be confident in execution and humble in preparation. That's how you need to be. I say cock humble and preparation. That's how you need to be. I say cocky and execution. I think cocky and execution.

I, I won't say cocky because you don't want to underestimate people, but at the top level confidence to where that you want to fucking walk right on that motherfucking line of cocky and confident. When you're at time to execute, you want to be that motherfucker that lives in your fucking soul that you are afraid to let fucking out because you think people will think you're crazy. That's who you need to be in execution time and humility time.

You need to realize that you don't know fucking shit. And there's people like Elon Musk out here to fucking know everything. Right. Who are only fucking 10 years older than me and a million gazillion miles away in a in a better way you get what i'm saying like you have to remember at the at the humble time that bro you're just a speck of fucking dirt that's going to be gone one day so like you have to be able to get yourself on both lines right yeah you'll be able to wear the hat yes but but but what i'm saying is you have to push yourself all the way out. You have to push yourself to the limits of confidence

and also to the limits of humility where you know, you're nothing. You have, if you live on those two polar opposites, when it comes to creating the product, that is you, your life, you're going to do really good because you're going to execute good. And you're also going to be, you're because you're going to believe in yourself when most people don't yeah all right because most people are told don't believe in yourself too much you don't forget where you fucking came from exactly where the fuck i don't want to fucking remember where the fuck i came from motherfucker right that's a fucking point now right now now when i'm trying to win this fucking game or i'm walking into the boxing ring or i'm walking on a stage, I don't want to remember where the fuck I'm from.

You think, bro, you're just a fat little piece of shit from a gravel road. Exactly. As I'm willing to walk out in a fucking battle, what I do. Exactly. Get the fuck out of here. You guys don't fucking get it. It's the truth. Every professional athlete knows exactly what I'm talking about.

They're listening right now smiling. Like, oh, that guy's kind of cocky. No shit. every professional athlete knows exactly what I'm talking about. They're listening right now. Smiling like, Oh, that guy's kind of cocky. No shit. He's got to go out or she's got to, whatever, got to go out and do what they do at the top level of their ability in front of all kinds of fucking people.

Half of which want them to fuck up. You, you, if you don't believe in yourself, how the fuck can you even do that? It's like on the basic term like think of like having a fucking a surgeon coming in is about to do fucking brain surgery on you don't you not want him walking in saying dude i'm the best surgeon i'm the best fucking i'm

going to fucking make this person better yeah than they ever fucking were exactly or the guy but see you don't want him crossing that line in the cocky right and then not paying attention to what he's doing because he thinks he's so good there has to be substance there dude yes you got to walk that line yeah see what i'm saying yeah that's real shit man that's real shit well i would love to have you as my surgeon well i don't know because i don't know shit about surgery i see that that would be a poor decision on your part you you want me to coach your surgeon. Yeah, no shit.

Yeah, yeah. If you don't listen to Real AF, you can't operate on me, bro. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, if you don't listen, fuck you. Exactly. But if you do listen and you like it. Share the show. Share the show.

And pick these up, motherfuckers. Guys, Andy, that's three, man. Go pay the fee. All right, guys. Appreciate you guys. Share the show, please.