REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 363. Q&AF: Believing In Yourself, Undermining Your Authority & Prioritizing American-Made Products

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to overcome the loss of belief in yourself during your personal development journey, what to do when one of your key people undermines your authority in front of the other employees, and the best way to prioritize American-made suppliers & vendors for your company.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af that's where you bring the q's and i bring the afs you can submit your questions to email those questions and guys to ask andy at andy for solo.com now if this is your first time listening this isn't a normal show if you're a normal human uh and you're soft like everybody else, you won't like the show. Just go ahead and turn the shit off. But if you're going to stay because you have skin that's thicker than a

fucking saran wrap on a fucking corn dog. Corn dog. Yeah. Thank you. With a cat, with a fucking casserole, no salt. Exactly.

If you're one of those people, we have multiple formats on the show okay so today you're going to get q and af um sometimes you're going to get cti that is cruise the internet that's where we throw up topics talk about current events well we make fun of these stupid motherfuckers in the world then we talk about how we can fix the world. Then sometimes we have real talk. Real talk is just a five to 20 minute speech about what I think needs to be said. That's why it's called real talk. Then we have full length. Full lengths are always a little bit longer and they get a little more in depth. You know what I'm saying? And they have to do with my rich, interesting, successful friends. Sometimes we bring on people

that disagree with us and then we argue. But yeah, man, we basically talk about how they got to be who they are and how you're no different than them and how you can do the same kind of shit. All right, look,

personal excellence is what's going to fix this country. We could talk about the fucking problems all day. We could talk about what's going to fix this country we could talk about the fucking problems all day we could talk about what's going on all day we could talk about the crazy people ruining the world all day but that doesn't have an effect on us personally um if we all collectively look to raise our standards so that's what the show's about man um yeah what's up yeah. We got your chalkboard up here. Yeah. I saw.

Yeah. So, so we re we re instituted, uh, an old rule. I'm going to steal it from back in the, uh, the, for back in the, uh, grade school days, you know, where you got your name put on the board. And then when I was in school, you got four check marks. Okay. So you got your name and then you got four checks and then you got detention except in here when you get to four checks in your name on the board you got to fucking run that's what we're gonna do all right

i don't remember what what did you do the other day i didn't do anything bro yeah oh yeah you're just oppressed you're a depressed black man yeah it's just you know yeah well if you notice i hope nobody steals it because you know you guys are going to automatically assume it's me if you if you notice we we didn't put on a blackboard we put on a whiteboard yeah i see with black marker yeah to make it extra oppressive yeah i mean you know so sometimes it happens yeah sorry bro sucks uh but dj got his name on the board i think it was for telling this terrible fucking joke um which doesn't surprise me so you got four checks left to go before it's time to run yeah okay so question legitimate question can your name and check marks be erased

yeah if you tell something funny joke but like that ain't gonna happen. I mean I Mean you know it's like I mean I mean you better go work You better comes around every now and then all right sometimes I get some inspiration already had take away your team I cream soda was pretty I've never that yes, it's pretty funny. Well who made it funny though Did you make it funnier I make it funny by pretending not to know no you knew oh you knew no i didn't know bro what you make what you mean is i didn't you didn't know yeah you had no idea i knew but that motherfucker i knew but you know he had no idea he knew he knew oh look at that see wink now bro he's just white dude together all right then joe all right i didn't know fuck i didn't i didn't know

that cream soda was a white people thing that's fine it makes sense though. Cause I love it. All right. It's real. We got Q and AF. We got Q and AF man. Let's get into these guys. Question number one, Andy, in your personal development journey, have you ever lost belief in yourself because it was taking too long or something didn't work out the way you wanted it to? And if you did, how do you overcome this lack of belief? Um, or I guess impatience and time. Yeah. I think people think about, uh, belief as if it's like, like once you have belief, it's just always there. And that's not how it works. At least that's not how it works for me. Um, you know, belief sometimes is going to be really strong and sometimes it's not going to be there.

And, you know, when it's not there, I've had to work really hard to consciously remind myself of the things that I've done in the past. And then also think about the logical way of how I'm going to accomplish what it is I believe in, like the actual step-by-step plan. Because usually when you have a lack of belief, it's because your emotions are involved. You're down, your momentum's low. And so, you know, you have to really separate yourself from the way you feel versus what's reality. And so that's how I think about it. And, you know, there's been a number of times

in my life where things have gotten really bad in business, you know? Um, I mean, it's, it's never like, like out of, let's say like 10 days, right? Like this is how I would describe it. You know, like three of those days, you might feel really good. Three of those days you might feel okay. Three of those days you might be like, fuck, how am I going to do this? And it kind of like, that's kind of how it is, you know? But I think the key and the way to think about this would be to consider when your belief is the strongest and what habits were you to, uh, completely dialed into when that was going on. Yeah. And for me, like, like, um, you know, I just be real here. Uh, you know, I had, I injured my shoulder really bad last September. Um, I waited for 90 days

because I wanted to see if it would heal before I even got an MRI because I'm stubborn about going to the doctor, especially during all the COVID shit. I didn't want to go. Well, you're in the best shape of your life. Yeah. I was, dude, I was in the, I was in the absolute best shape of my life by a lot. And, you know, so I had surgery in December. Like, dude, I was in a sling for six weeks. When I got out of the sling, I had zero mobility in my arm. Like I couldn't move it in an inch. It was just hang there. I lost all my muscle. I lost all my physique. And with that, you know, mentally struggled because training is such a massive part of my life

that, you know, not having that outlet has been very difficult for the last year. I would say this last year for me has been probably the hardest year so far, but it's also been the year where I made the most money and been the most successful. But mentally, it's been the hardest year and physically. And now I'm back to where I can train just within the last week or so where I could train what I would say the way I like to train. And, you know,

I could feel my mental starting to come back. And so, you know, I failed 75 hard this last weekend because I got super fucking sick. And, you know, I'm just looking at it like I'm starting 75 hard for the first time ever and i'm rebuilding from scratch and as i get through that my my skills and my discipline and my confidence

and my and my grit and my fortitude and my belief and myself will all come back and i know that because i know how the program works so sometimes you know it's just like you got to admit where the fuck you are and say all right i'm fucking down i to lock back in and get dialed in and tune this up. And that's why I call it a program and not a fucking challenge because it's a tool that you use when you need it. So when you recognize that your belief is low, one of the things that you can do is manufacture momentum, uh, towards where it is you're trying to go. And usually the belief is only low for two or three days and it starts to come back. And the longer you progress with that momentum, the stronger the belief gets and the more, you know, that's how it starts to gain it back.

We are in control of our momentum. People don't realize that. Like people think momentum is something that we catch like a sailboat catching some wind. That's not how it works. Somebody gives it to us. Yeah. It's not magic. It's not how it works somebody gives it to us yeah it's not magic it's we manufacture it you know you shrink you win one day then you win the second day then you win the third day and you win the fourth day it's about creating a streak and unlike you know baseball where you know there's you're gonna fail 30 of the time or i'm sorry 70 of the time, or I'm sorry, 70% of the time to even be in the hall and you'll still be in the hall of fame. Um, you know, with these, these, with this kind of shit, you were in full control of your execution. So like you can bat a thousand on your daily execution. If you bat a thousand and win your day on Monday and then do it again on Tuesday and do it again on Wednesday, do it

again on Thursday, even those four days are going to set you up to catch some momentum. So, so you need to think about momentum more so as something you create, not something that just magically happens to you. And when you can start to understand that and then start to create it, then you're also in control of the belief level that you have. So, uh, that's my tips on, on that. Let me follow up on that, Andy. How do you approach the time constraints that people, the society maybe, can put on different milestones, goals like that? How do you approach that? If somebody tells you it's going to take you 10 fucking years to make a billion dollars, and no matter what you think you can do, it's not going to speed it up, not going to slow it down. Do you accept that or do you still in your mind try to fight that? Well, look, this is why it's important to be mission-based.

And this is why it's important to understand and love your mission because none of us know how long it's going to take. Right. So I don't know how long it's going to take for me to get to where I want to go or get my companies where I want to go but what i try to do is build the process into something that i enjoy doing right and and if i can enjoy that time then the time becomes irrelevant because i'm enjoying my life you understand you're gonna look up one day i'm like fuck here yeah it's just there so like you know don't focus overly focus on like you know know, I want the money, start focusing on solving the fucking problem and doing it in a way that you enjoy. And like, you know, sure. Yes. You, you, in the beginning, like for me, like for me to, you know, make my first million dollars and shit like that.

Okay. Um, I was very focused on the million dollars. right? And I grinded my ass off for a long time to get to that level. And it was agonizing. Okay. But what I'm trying to explain is once I shift my perspective from just getting that level of success, right? Into how can I solve the problem better? How can I improve my business? What can we do better?

How can we serve our customers better? How can we get them better results? How can we do this and that and this? How can I innovate our processes? And I started focusing on just always trying to improve the money just then came and it felt effortless. Um, because I wasn't focused on it. It's like watching a, uh, a pot to boil. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, and it's also more effective. Like, dude, you're not in business.

Like, people say, oh, why does your business exist? To make money. No, it doesn't. Your business exists to solve fucking problems. And then the money is the byproduct of how well you solve the problem. That's a fundamental reality of how business works. And you'll have plenty of people that'll fucking tell you different but not one of them have bigger bank account than me

so it's the truth yeah it's the truth so like i've lived it i've built it you can come here and see my shit you know you see the products all over the fucking place i know what the fuck i'm talking about yeah and i've lived pre-internet post-internet and it And it's, you know, there's guys out there that say, it's all about the money. It's all about the money. It's all about the money. It's all about the money. It's not all about the money because dude, once you have a certain amount of money, the money doesn't mean anything to you anymore. It doesn't, it just doesn't like you're going to get to a point where you're going to have enough money. And I know this is hard to believe because a lot of people are struggling right now, but if you keep your fucking head down and work through

this opportunity, that's getting ready to present itself. You're going to eventually get to a point where you have enough money that you're living exactly how you want to live. And you literally have no use for the extra money that you get. And so you start looking at ways to, you know, be, uh, into charities and things like that but the point is it doesn't drive you anymore it doesn't fulfill you anymore it's not exciting anymore and when you get to that point all right what the fuck what do you do then yeah right so you have to care about how it is that you make your money if you want to be happy because you spend so much time trying to achieve these goals that if you're fucking doing something you

hate, bro, not only will it seem like it takes forever, but it'll actually probably take forever because you won't work that hard at it. So, you know, there's a lot of ways to think about it. And I used to be a money driven person when I didn't have money, but I'm just telling you, when I flip my mind to solving problems versus making money is when the magic started to happen. That's true. Guys, Andy, question number two. I recently started a company and hired an old boss of mine. We have a great relationship, except sometimes he says things in front of the new employees

that could come off as undermining my authority. I'm afraid that this will spread to other employees. And I don't want to lose my friend as he's a hard and good worker how would you handle the situation yeah you got to pull them aside and you got to say hey look uh and by the way this is normal this is fucking normal shit this is not like relationship ending you don't have to fire people for this a lot of times people just don't realize they're doing it um you pull them aside you say hey when you do this and this it makes them not listen to what the fuck i'm saying and it cheapens our whole our ability to get to where we want to go so if you disagree or you think something tell me but tell me not in front of

them yeah you see what i'm saying and so that's all it is. It's a conversation to, you know, this is like communicating with, you know, uh, you know, as a, as a family or as a business or as friends or anything, this is more so just about being clear on your communication. Like, you know, Hey DJ, come here for a second. Look, dude. Um, when I'm talking to the guys, don't, don't say anything this way because if you say it like that then it makes it look like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Yeah I got you bro. Yeah so like that's gonna fuck up our ability to get ahead so

you know next time just tell me that in private afterwards and I'll correct it moving forward and I'll do the same for you. Yeah got it. Yeah and that's what I don't get man because I feel like I mean obviously we know a lot of people have issues with confrontation but like especially if it's your boy like this is your friend this is your like you shouldn't have no issues saying like hey look dude what is that you know listen I don't know because I think it's just

unfamiliarity with the with being comfortable having conversations. Because I can remember when I was younger in business, I can remember having anxious feelings about having to talk to Chris about something that was important when we were in our first four or five years of business. I can remember those things. But now I'm 23 years in the journey about to be 24. Um, like it just comes out now. Like, I don't even think about it at all, you know, and that can be bad too. So, um, so, you know, I think it's just unfamiliarity, you know, practice, you know, I think you practice communicating, become a good communicator, you know, and what you realize is after you shoot straight a couple times it actually moves everybody uh further you know towards where you want to go at a quicker rate everybody's happy

with that you know because everybody wants to get there yeah i think that confrontation piece i mean just being able to just go out and have those conversations is so crucial right now bro because everything's online everything's here so like we've removed that social yeah even like obligation to fucking just talk to people yeah it's it's definitely you know something that people especially you know under the age of 25 who have literally grown up on the internet maybe even under the age of 30 now um you guys need to practice your direct communications and without being rude yeah you know not like like the main reason people have anxiety is because they like anticipate this being an argument or some some sort right there's no need for this to be an argument bro like we're trying to fucking win together you know and i think when you really break down why you're anxious it's because you

know you're you're projecting your frustration onto them and you think their reaction is going to reflect that frustration when in reality um if you just say it calmly they'll just go along with you and it'd be no big deal yeah i'm not saying if anything that anxiety keeps you from fucking for sure you know it makes it worse you know those consequences like if i say some dumb shit, I probably go get knocked out. Yeah. So just try to be direct, you know, um, and it's required, man. This is not an optional form of, uh, communicating to be successful in business. Like if you don't do that, if this person doesn't have that conversation, what he's afraid of will happen.

Guys, our third and final question, Andy, question number three. My business has made a push to prioritize American companies, as in our suppliers and vendors. As an IT company, many of our largest software vendors are like Microsoft, where they're associated with the WEF, with few viable alternatives. I don't want to support globalists, period. Is there any advice on how to purge my vendor list of corrupt companies? Yeah, do some research, bro. There are smaller companies out there that do what it is you need to do and that are here that will work with you 100%.

There's other people like you that have the same beliefs as you that want to work with you that are out there. They you that have the same beliefs as you that want to work with you that are out there they're just not named microsoft right it's not as easy as like going on amazon and just ordering some shit like part of what we need to understand here is that for us to take our country back in the way that this person is referring to uh you know supporting american jobs supporting american- American owned products as much as we can. Um, and then also creating American manufacturing back here in, in, in America.

Uh, you know, what you have to realize is, is that that's, that's going to be inconvenient at first, like there's going to be some inconvenience involved. Like you, you know, instead of going to Amazon amazon you go down to the fucking you know store down the street of you know that's somewhat smaller whatever it is brick and mortar yeah in america you know what i'm saying like just shit like that like that's if you want to make those changes and i might even say in amazon i'm just saying in general like if you're trying to if you're trying to you know not give walmart business, go to the fucking farmer's market. You see what I'm saying?

Like shit like that. So if you're doing B2B, understand that there's lots of other people out there that feel the same way you feel that you just haven't connected with yet. Would you say this is any different than like, I mean, because you've been in business 24 years. How many other business relationships did you have to cut off? Whether it was just bad business practices, whatever it is. It's a have to cut off? Just whether it was just bad business practices, whatever it is, you know, like it's a natural thing of business, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, usually dude, I mean, we, we build relationships over long periods of time and usually, um, disagreements that, that we might have. I, I try to work primarily with smaller companies that are, that are here. Like I've've always done that so like we have the relationships built um i don't really do any you know a bunch of shit overseas like you know yeah

you know i'm saying like most companies like and the shit that we do have that's not made in america we are working to get made in america right now you know so it's it's a process um you know customers have to understand that and be patient with companies that like, dude, manufacturing has, has basically abandoned the United States for a long time. The massive void. Yeah. And so like, it's very hard for companies to get good quality, you know, items in some, some industries that are made here.

So, you know, customers should be fucking patient about that and understand that companies are trying to bring that shit back. But to this gentleman, you know, look, dude, there's lots of other people out there that feel the same as you, that offer what it is you're looking for. You just got to dig deeper and start looking for it, you know, and then build relationships with those companies for the long term. Because the truth of the matter is people are becoming far more aware of what we're talking about here. Like a lot of people are not wanting to shop with these companies that are affiliated with world economic form because they're realizing that they're getting their funding based upon a political ideology inside their company, which is then forcing the political ideology through the company. And that's why, you know, you people that

work for these big companies, you got to do all this fucking crazy shit. It's out of control. Everybody agrees. Um, so the way to stop that is by stop shopping with those companies and start shopping with other companies. You know, if you work for one of those companies, maybe you should consider working with a smaller company that represents your own personal, uh, ideals and values. You know, I, I think it's important for people to decide where they want to stand um because it's not we're in a dangerous place and if people don't make a stand and don't start inconveniencing themselves you know we're going to be fucking china eventually like in a literal way so you have to be aware you know you have to do the best you can um and if you're a smaller business you, this is an opportunity to get ahead of the curve because that curve that I'm talking about, like the American made goods and all that, that's going to take a few years to really get into play.

So, because dude, with the adjustment period I'm talking about, right, the manufacturing just doesn't exist. So there's. It literally has to be built yes once those manufacturing uh facilities for all of these different items you know any goods start existing here in america again then you're going to see that resurgence really pick on so like why not start that now start that process now do the best you can you see what i'm saying 100 yeah guys Andy, that's three. Cool. All right. Guys, if you like the show, if you got some good quality info out of the show, if it made you think, made you laugh, gave you a new perspective,

please share the show. We're from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch, booted swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold That's a no, headshot, case closed