REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 365. Q&AF: Overcoming Stagnation, Gaining Connections Vs. Developing Skills & Dealing With Shadow Bans

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to overcome the comfort you experience after reaching a bit of success, whether you should put more focus on gaining connections or developing your skillsets when working towards your goals, and how to navigate being shadow banned on social media for speaking out on crucial issues happening in our society.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purceller, and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. For the real, let's say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys. Today, we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the Qs and I give you the AFs. Sometimes when you tune in, we'll have other formats, such as CTI, which is Cruise the Internet. That's where we throw up headlines on the screen and we talk about them. Other times, it's real talk.

It's a short five to 20-minute piece of my mind, something I just think needs to be said. Sometimes it's real talk. It's a short five to 20 minute piece of my mind. Something I just think needs to be said. Uh, sometimes it's full length. That's where I bring all my interesting guests, uh, rich, successful, powerful, kicking ass, bad-ass motherfuckers, uh, who tell you how regular they are and how you could be the same as them because it's the truth. Uh, but yeah, today we got Q and AF and that's where that's where you submit your questions and you can submit those to email those in guys to ask Andy at Andy for seller dot com. Yeah. And they can be about business.

They can be about mental toughness. They could be about, you know, personal development. It could be about what's going on in the world. You know, I'm here to help you win. So try to keep it along the lines of winning. So, yeah. And I'll answer. Yeah.

Is that what's up? What's going on, dude? Not much, man. Got some. That's a good one. Got some good ones. No, I was going to say, it's fucking beautiful outside, man. Yeah.

I wouldn't know. Really good. I wouldn't know. I've been here all day. You've been out all day fucking off. Well, so i wouldn't know really good i wouldn't know i've been here all day you you've been out all day fucking off well so i wouldn't know hey is it i actually listen it's fucking beautiful is it but i will tell you this man the back of a fucking tractor trailer yeah pretty steamy what it's fucking hot in the back of a tractor well hey he were trafficking no man i had to you know the fucking rolls of the the gym flooring yeah so those came in today for a special project we're

working on oh okay and those things are fucking heavy yeah and the one of the fucking pallets they were sitting on had broke and it was blocking the other pallets in yeah so we had to like take all of those off oh and yeah so i got i got to be some more workout yeah a little low back action you know yeah lifting up my knees and the dude it's fucking it was hot back there i mean glad you got some sort of workout in yeah i got something in i mean you know you got something in man it was pretty you're gonna count that for your 75 hard to you no because it wasn't i bet you i'm surprised you didn't it wasn't 45 minutes yeah it was like it was right there, though.

I could have. Shit, it was like fucking 40. Shit. I don't know if that count. Now, would that count as outsider inside? Man, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up right now. You might be training and all that, bro.

I will fucking choke you. You better have your shit on you with that shit. Bring that shit in here. I can't even take it i just want to retire leave me the fuck alone with these questions dude when it comes to 75 hard if you gotta ask the answer is fucking no right holy shit yeah but i got some good ones for you though none of that shit though they're not yes or no question yeah all right cool so let's get into this man andy question number one uh andy i recently received a promotion that doubled my income i've always been a person to strive for more but with this recent promotion i found myself a bit stagnant and comfortable have you ever experienced this and if so how do you go about dealing with it yeah uh well yeah, yeah, dude, for sure. I mean, like, look, dude, I think this is the biggest thing

that people have, people struggle with is that, you know, they get to a place of comfort or they make an uncomfortable place comfortable and they stop trying to move. And, you know, there's tricks to this. You know, one of them is what I talk about with you guys all the time, a zero options mentality. You know, when you're broke and you don't have any choice, it's real easy to get up and fucking go to war every day. Right. But, you know, when you're living good, it's a different kind of thing, bro. You know, so it's important to understand the mentality of having zero options and to live with that mentality. So that's what that's about. When I say zero option mentality,

and there's, there's old podcasts. I talk about this. Uh, but I mean, that's going to be a, a, a theme in anybody's continuous progression, uh, because overcoming that comfort is, is difficult when you're legitimately comfortable. Uh, so yeah, dude, because overcoming that comfort is, is difficult when you're legitimately comfortable. Uh, so yeah, dude, everybody struggles with that. Um, you know, getting yourself, uh, in a place mentally where your back is against the wall, even though it really isn't like people are surprised when I, like when they, like when they come here, this is going to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm not, uh, you know, when people come in here and they're like holy shit bro like how do you stay motivated and i'm like bro i haven't even started yeah they think i'm being like falsely humble

they think i'm being like but the truth is is that mentality of zero options is so ingrained in me that is your perception it is and you you know that for sure and these guys know that for sure and anybody who knows me like in real life and around me they know that i really mean that yeah um you know we were broke for so fucking long that i'm legitimately terrified i'm gonna go back to that just because of me getting comfortable. So while I am very comfortable in reality, I keep myself in a mental place of being uncomfortable so that I could continue to push. Yeah. Um, so that's the first, that's a skill that you got to master, right? Um, but there's other things you can do as well. You know, like sometimes, uh, when you,

when you get a little too much money coming in, you know, um, in the beginning, how you can really get yourself in that mentality, that mentality is by spending a little bit of the money. Like if you're like, if some guys are, they get too much cash and they start to think, uh, well, fuck dude, I'm rich. Right. You know? And, and I'm not saying when I say spend, I mean, invest. Like when you're at this level, you should be taking, um, you know, part of that money that you have

extra and putting it into something that's going to produce money. Right. And then you should take part of it and spend it on yourself so that you know what the fuck you're working for still. Right. Um, but the biggest thing, dude, is like to to understand and this is why this this idea of people are like oh comparison is the thief of joy no uh comparison is actually a really good tool if you use it properly it's a good ass kicker yeah you know like if you're a pussy yeah it can fucking hurt your feelings a little bit you'll need your safe space it's a great tool because you know when i compare myself and what we've done in our companies, you know, when I when I look at the companies I'm involved in, even even the littler ones that people don't really know about yet. You know, I compare myself to companies that

are outside of our industry who have had major impact on the way things are done um so like when i really truly compare like like in this sound this might sound silly to you guys like like because it's obvious i'm not anywhere near these motherfuckers, but like I legit compare myself to like the Bezos is or, or Elon's or these Phil nights or like, like I, you know, I have to remind myself, you know,

um, that I got a long way to go because I can get myself down when I do that. Right. But the truth of the matter is, is like when I started feeling like i'm really cool like you know because i think i'm pretty cool like i feel fucking cool sometimes and that's okay but when i start feeling like i'm a little too cool i start to remind myself well dude phil knight fucking made you look like an idiot you know what i'm saying and you know so we can all humble ourselves

real quickly by our perspective we choose to take. I think it's an important thing for most people to never really believe the good things and never really believe the bad things and just continue on the path. You know what I mean? I try not to give too much attention to either. But we can all get caught up in our own wins. And that's what causes the comfort. You know what i'm saying so um and then another thing that you could do too which i think is very valuable is giving some of that money away to a cause um that is you know not net is is not necessarily like you're you know like like like for example like we give a lot of money away to

this deal uh that we do at first form called 30 for the Kids, where everybody contributes. It's a big fitness thing, and we do it for 30 days a few times a year. It generates a lot of money, and then we match the money that was raised, and we go build schools and houses in Haiti. And then we also do things for the city here in St. Louis. And, um, you know, part of what gets, I know all of us here going, you know, when things are really good, cause things are really good. Uh, and they're continuing to be good. Cause we have an amazing team and we, you know, I think we've got a really good thing, special thing going here. Um, but like when you see that you can have a real impact on other people that maybe is just from you donating some of the money that you've earned, you know, that can be a major driver for you to to progress on income. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Like there's so you could do more of that. Yes, absolutely. Like, dude, even if that's the whole thing, like even if you. Even if you make a whole bunch of more money, so I don't need the money. Well, then fucking do something good with it. That matters to you. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Like this idea that we're here for just us, that's not, we cannot just, first of all, most people aren't responsible for themselves, but being responsible for only yourself is not enough. There has to be an obligation to our community, to the future generations that are coming, and also an obligation to honor the people who have laid the framework for us to even have the opportunity in the first place.

So when you think about all of these things, you know, those are the things that I think can really move you out of being comfortable. Yeah. That's real. Let me, let me ask you this. Cause there, there's a quote.

I can't remember who said it, but it is, it goes something to the effect of if you shit, if you sit in shit long enough, it stops stinking. Yeah, that's right. That's what I said.

Yeah. And you said, and you said that like, you know, some people can be uncomfortable and then make it comfortable. That's right. Right. That's what's happening.

That's the whole goal of the, what's going on in the world right now. What's happening in America right now is they are trying to acclimate you to these crazy gas prices, which are going to get worse. They're trying to acclimate you to not having, um, the selections of foods that you once had. Okay. They're trying to acclimate you, make you settle. They're trying to acclimate you to a lower level of existence as the baseline existence in America. And they're going to put it in, and they're going to let it ride until you get used to it and stop wanting the old thing.

That's what they're doing. So we have to remember what the fuck it was like in December of 2000 fucking 19. Very clearly, we were the best we'd ever been. And you could say whatever the fuck you want about Donald Trump. It's the truth of the matter is we need to get back there and then press way past that point in that direction yeah that's real i'm talking about economically and yeah yeah for sure but i think even just in people's personal lives like stop settling for fucking shit listen bro they remove excellence out of the agenda to control the population yeah motherfucker like your biggest the best motherfucking thing you

could do for this country right now is to be fucking great yeah yeah what did that that that means actually caring about your fitness actually caring about making money in your career actually caring about your family actually caring about being better. Okay. There's not a, this cultural degradation that has been pressed upon society and the lowering of moral standard has affected everybody at some level. Every single one of you listening is guilty of some bullshit. And what we need to do as a society is collectively raise the bar to improve and be better than what we have been yeah yeah it's i was thinking about what uh dave portnoy said you haven't you haven't been to nantucket it's fucking awesome yeah yeah like listen i think that's the thing too though because

i mean we talk about it right and i remember like when i first met you we talked about the fact that like you know sometimes it's just hard for people to to see winning because they or like to achieve success because they've never really seen they've never seen it or touched it but the thing is it's like i mean with technology i can turn this phone on and i can see i can you know i'm saying but it is a difference that's still different dude it's still different than knowing somebody personally like dude to a lot of motherfuckers i'm a fake internet character you see what i'm saying like they like a fake internet character. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. You don't really exist.

Like, dude. Yeah. Shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm a fucking, I'm a cartoon to, like, a lot of people. Like, I have a voice. I say shit. I live this lifestyle.

Like, it's not real. Yeah. You understand what I'm saying? It's not physically tangible. Yes. Yeah, I get it. That's why when people meet me and they're like, holy dude you're exactly the same as you are i'm like yeah bro that's because i'm the same as you right but that's what i've been trying to tell you motherfuckers right

this is the whole reason i do this shit it's a whole fucking reason like bro i know what the fuck it's like and that's why i care so much about amer. You guys are like, oh, why does he care so much? Because I'm a fucking product of how amazing it is, and I can see from the experiences I've had, I can see it swirling around the fucking drain, and I'm urgent about it. So excuse me that I want you to experience some of the amazing shit that I have

by just doing a few different things in your life. Holy shit. Fuck me, right? Such a piece of shit. Guys, moving on to question number two, Andy, there's a famous saying, it's not what you know, it's who you know. My question is, should you put more emphasis on gaining connections and building relationships early on in your personal development journey or focus on building your skill sets and hope that opportunities come along to further your life, career, et cetera? Both. 100% in both directions. Entrepreneurs are people who have to focus on different things.

I think the big error that people make is that they lean far too much on who, you know, like the whole saying, it's, it's not what you know, it's who, you know, that, yeah, that's true. But that there's an assumption there that you offer some sort of like baseline value and offer a great skillset. Right. Like that's assuming that you're great at what you do being great is the prerequisite like that's like so that's the prerequisite of that whole saying yeah so i

could pull up any fucking person and give them a job of making five hundred thousand dollars a year that doesn't mean they're going to be able to do the fucking job well. And it's only going to be a matter of time before I'm like, Hey, fuck face. You're fucking up my shit now. Yeah. Okay. So yes, that's true. You know how many amazing celebrity people I fucking know now, like, because I'm good at this. Right. Like, I'm good at talking on the fucking microphone. Right.

And I wasn't always good. If you don't believe me, go fucking listen. And by the way, half y'all think I'm no good now. But the point is, is like, I got good enough to where people started recognizing me. And that's what it takes. Yeah. and then you start to know and meet and and by the way you know there's tremendous value in intentionally networking i'm just saying that i'm speaking to the people who think that the net they can network their way to the top with no fucking value or skill. Right. Because that's not accurate. Here's DJ.

Yeah. All right, DJ, what do you do? Nothing. I just know Andy. Yeah, right. But that's what people think it is. And it's not that. Hey, man, put me on.

Do this. You know, look, bro, let me explain to you like this. I could take one of your story posts and put it into my fucking Instagram story. Okay. But, and lots of people that you don't know are going to see you, but unless all the rest of your shit captures their attention enough, or you're great enough for them, it doesn't matter. Right. So like, you've got to do your part and then it's who, you know, so you should be simultaneously working to build your amazing skill set and meeting people who are also doing the same. That's why groups like RTA are so fucking valuable

because you have people who are on the same path as you, who you can talk to, who have different ideas, who know different skill sets, who have different different connections and they're more valuable to you than what i am to you because i've already been through what your my connections aren't even as good at that level because i've already surpassed it right right you see what i'm saying it's the latter it's the last and people think that they can like get one shout out from jake paul and become a fucking you know know, like, dude. Yeah. Maybe if your shits are been good for like the last fucking five years.

Right. You see what I'm saying? Right. Right. So, you know, you have to be great to start and then you also have to be networked as well. And it takes both. And you should intentionally be working on both. That's real.

All right, guys. Our third and final question for you. This is a little lengthy. and it takes both and you should intentionally be working on both that's real all right guys our third and final question for you uh this is a little lengthy i'm gonna try to make it quick though okay well take your time i got time andy question number three okay it says as a transgender guy i have been trying to speak out on social media against the insane madness that's been coming from the activists that claim to represent my demographic. The problem is, on accounts that I speak out on, I am shadow banned, if not outright banned, for speaking basic truths like trans men are not biological men or else we would not have to use trans in the first place. I'm starting to feel like there's no point in posting against the madness since no one is able to even see it due to the company suppressing my voice i know you deal with being shadow banned quite often and having your

voice suppressed as well any advice on how to navigate it yeah well first off welcome this is what happens when you don't swim with the with the river you know what i'm saying i commend you for standing up for what you believe to be right. I also agree with you that that is a hundred percent truth. And so does fucking science. Um, and I'm thankful that, you know, somebody like you, uh, who is trans hasn't labeled me as some sort of crazy shit like a lot of these other people have so thank you for thank you um yeah i i think the point of the question is the reason for why it's important for everybody to collectively speak out and stand up because what they're doing is they're trying to silence the

big voices in such a way to make the smaller voices such as your own feel as if it's insignificant this is why no matter what you think of alex jones what they did when they find him 49 million dollars okay and what he did was wrong by the way but it was also just shit he was saying yeah okay i think we can all agree this i's kind of anybody that fucking takes Alex Jones show as some sort of like reality. Like it's a, it's, it's,

it's, there's context to the fucking show. You know what I'm saying? Right. Um, but whatever. Okay. But the point is the reason they de-platform these people,

the reason they pull them off the internet is because they're leading other people to do the same. And so when you feel the way that you felt, what they want is for you to quit. And if you quit, that plays into their strategy, which is to silence the collective. All right. So this, what you're experiencing is not exclusive to the trans community or the gay community or any of these other communities. This is a true communist ideology to suppress ideas that go against what they want, which is extremely dangerous to all of us. So whatever it is that you believe in, whether it's what I believe in or not, it's very important for you to speak truth. And I would encourage you to speak truth after you truly considered what could be propaganda

and what isn't propaganda and what the true facts are. Because if anything, we've learned over the last couple of years that our entire system is colluding to push narratives. And if they weren't, we wouldn't be in a society where people would be censored. It wouldn't exist. Okay. where people would be censored. It wouldn't exist. Okay? And also, they wouldn't censor these people if it wasn't fucking somewhat true. Right.

They just wouldn't. It would be dismissed as bullshit. See, when you let all ideas flow in, it's very easy to see who's the clowns, who's telling the truth, who's telling mostly truth but a little full of shit, and who's the clowns, who's telling the truth, who's telling mostly truth, but a little full of shit. And you know, who's completely full of shit and who's completely telling the truth. Like it's easy for the spectrum to, to be visible because the best ideas, the natural order of

things always works itself out. This is why these policies that the communists and the socialists believe in will never actually work no matter what they do. And it will resort in killing the people who resist it because they can't win in natural order. Okay? So that's why what these people are about always ends with things like genocide or things like war because their ideas can't win and they need to oppress people for them to get the way that they want. And the problem that's happening now in America is the 80% majority of people are being suppressed

and not only are they being suppressed the other side's being amplified and celebrated and these people are unaware that that there's 80 percent of the other people on the other side so it's creating a very dangerous dynamic and this is what happens with censorship so it's actually date do you understand what i'm saying yeah it's actually strategically dangerous to manipulate reality the way they've done it because now you have a huge majority of people who are very angry and they're empowering this other very small minority of people and it's going to create a potential dangerous situation if everyone can't wrap their head around the idea that this has to be done peacefully yeah okay it only takes one or two

fucking idiots to do some dumb shit you see what i'm saying oh yeah so um so the short answer is you have to speak up if you believe in what the fuck you believe, if you don't want to be labeled in with, and by the way, you shouldn't be, but if you don't want to be labeled in with the sexualization of children, you have to speak up. I've been saying this for literal, I mean, the last couple years.

You have to speak up if you are a gay person and you are in the gay community and you notice that kids are being sexualized because it will hurt the perception of the whole community with the masses. Because, dude, the masses are starting to believe like that. It's the whole community. Yeah, dude. And that's dangerous as fuck. It's dangerous as fuck. Yeah. So that's why it's important to speak up dude yeah because i don't care how you live your life

like i don't i i don't give a fuck yeah like you know like whatever you choose is what you choose but when you're fucking teaching five-year-old kids shit. That ain't good, man. And there's a lot of pedophilia crowd that's hiding in the LGBTQ community right now. They're hiding inside of it. And like, dude, the community has to be stronger about it. It's just the truth. I would say, too, because I've seen there's a new, I guess, movement going around.

It's called Gag. Have you seen that? The gays against groomers? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, align yourself, right? Like, start getting in those. Yeah, they're banning that.

They're starting to shadow ban that page because they're getting attention. This is not a right left issue. No, this is not a this is this is an issue of fucking right versus wrong and regardless of how you feel about uh you know conservative people or whatever like if you're in that lgbtq community and you're not condemning the sexualization of children i i i think the pendulum is swinging back very fucking fast and hard on that yeah and i i don't know man like this idea these people normalizing the uh trying to normalize pedophilia by calling it minor attractive persons that give these people like empathy and all that ain't gonna fly it's not

gonna fly with anybody i think i think the simple fact that we have to try to call it the fact that they're calling it normalization. Come on, dude. It's not normal. Look, dude. Those people are going to get fucking killed. They're going to get killed. Parents will kill people over that.

Like lots of parents. Like most parents probably. So it's dangerous shit when you don't speak up. This is why I've been encouraging everybody to speak up for fucking years. Because your voice fucking matters. It matters a hell of a lot more than my voice. I'm one voice. You guys are fucking, you know, innumerable amounts.

It's your voices that matter. It's not my voice that matters. Yes, you're learning things. Yes, you're being inspired. Yes, you're becoming someone different. You're improving. You're this,. Yes. You're being inspired. Yes. You're, you're, you're becoming someone different. You're improving. You're this, you're that, you're this, but if you're not spreading the shit, it doesn't work. So it's not enough just to listen to the show and say, Oh, this is why I say, tell people about it. Yeah. Yeah, bro. It's, it's because we

need the fucking shit to spread. And that that's conversations in real life with real people dude you know what i mean that means you being bold on your social media and saying some shit that not all of your fucking friends are going to agree with you know what i mean yeah i think well just to add to that quickly too though i think when you do that stuff too guys you will realize that because so much time has passed you won't have that many people to disagree no dude everybody's seeing the shit that's the thing like dude everybody's seeing you'll be surprised who likes that shit no tell them a story you were telling me about the party yeah i went to went to this day party yesterday and it was like i mean it was a black thing you know i'm saying yeah I didn't get an invite. Yeah, well, you know. Did you guys?

Credit score was too high. I think that's what it was. I don't know, man. I might have to write a letter to HR on this one. But no, so I went to this day party and it was cool. It was a really, really good event. You know, it wasn't. I was comfortable being there, right?

Because I usually like. Anyway, long story short short you're about to say some racist shit well i mean i was gonna say some honest shit you know but um another time another place uh no but i'm sitting there and and uh one of my i guess friends uh he came up to me and he had no idea that I was on the podcast. And he was like, dude, one of my guys just forwarded me this show the other day called Real AF, man. I didn't know you was on it. And I just put two and two together. I'm like, oh, shit, that's what's up. Where is he at?

You know what I'm saying? And I'm just thinking automatically my racist inherent self. It was a white guy that shared it to him, right? And I'm like, what's the guy's name? He's like, his name's Ryan. He's here. I'm like, Ryan, okay, Ryan's definitely a his name is ryan he's here i'm like ryan okay ryan's okay definitely a white guy right he's over there drinking cream soda

you're right raising casserole you know what i'm saying and the corner by himself and he walks over this dude i'm like oh shit like ryan's not white ryan's black i'm like all right cool you know what i'm saying then he like there's a like, three more other guys come over, and they're all listening to the show. And I was sitting there, and one guy goes, he's like, hey, and tell Andy I actually like cream soda. I fucking told you. I told you, bro.

Hey. Hey, that's just one. We call those outliers. Nah, bro. Cream soda's some good shit. You're willing to give it a try. Hey. Good cream soda and Choco Tacos.

Yeah. Hey. You you know but it was refreshing so shout out send me some checks about to see your fucking vest stocks go insane right now yeah i hope the people over a vest appreciated my shout out yeah yeah so shout out to those guys yeah yeah and uh shout out to ryan bro that's what's up yeah hey what's up ryan but dude it just shows you like people look man everybody's ready to get the fuck along yeah okay we're all tired of the bullshit we're all tired of the fucking fake division we're all tired of the oppression by these fucking fucks who come here every three or four years and tell us they're gonna fix all our shit and fuck us in the ass with it.

Like, we're all tired of it. Excuse my fucking French. You know what I'm saying? It's real. Like, let's start by fixing that and then we can work on all the other shit. I mean, that's what I'm about. Fucking freedom, low taxes.

That's it. That's right. Choco tacos. Choco fucking tacos. Guys, Andy, that is three. So freedom, low taxes. That's it. That's right. Choco tacos. Choco fucking tacos. Guys, Andy, that is three. So go pay the fee. All right, guys. I love you guys. Appreciate you guys. Talk to you next time.