REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 37. The Hidden Coach That Lies Within All Of Us

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Success is extremely difficult. Everybody has days when they tell themselves they've done enough work and nobody will ever know if they skip out on the last rep, make that last call, etc. So, what separates the people who reach the highest levels of success from the average person? On today's show, Andy answers the question of how successful people are able to coach themselves towards reaching their full potential.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a real talk um i gotta give my team some props here all right because this is how this goes down i wake up and i say

hey we need a podcast and my man madat and my man joe they show up here on a Saturday at 1 o'clock in the afternoon to rip off a podcast. And dude, these guys are hungry. They're ready to kick ass and win. And dude, I got to tell you, I got to give you guys some props, man. They're both sitting here shaking their heads at me. You can't see them or hear them. But man, I appreciate you guys. You guys, it's fun to be a part of a team that wants to win.

And anyway, that's that, dude. It was just on my mind. I want to give you guys some public props. So thank you guys. And you guys asking what the difference in the show is and why it sounds so much better. It's because we got my man, Joe, who knows exactly what the fuck's up, making it sound right for you guys. So show him some love on his social media, which is Joseph Young STL.

All right. And follow my man. And we're going to do some great shit. And also follow my dot, which is what's your, what's your social bro? Long live my dot. You change it. We had something else for a while. What was that? Groovy scar face. All right. But it's long live my dot. All right. And that's M-I-D-H-A-T. All right. Just like mid hat. All right. So anyway, with that being said, give these dudes a follow. You know, check out what they're doing. They're doing some fun stuff.

Joe does some really cool stuff on his beats and his sounds that he's getting you guys showing you guys kind of the process and Madat is showing you guys all kinds of you know graphics and cool stuff that we're doing there plus you know he's got a decent sense of humor sometimes so he's all right but anyway guys uh with that being said look we do have the fee you know the fee the fee is if we do a good job if we if we help you learn if we make you think if we make you laugh if we make you learn, if we make you think, if we make you laugh, if we

make you feel better, if we give you a new perspective that helps you out with a certain problem you might be having, give us a share. Give us a like. Write us a review on iTunes. Share with your friends, all right? We don't do this for money. In fact, we invest a whole lot of money to do this, and we do this to give back to you guys. And I do have a awesome

tip slash nugget slash idea that absolutely is going to change how you do things today. All right. So this morning I was working out and I was, I've had a shoulder injury that has been really nagging. And, uh, you know, all you guys out there who are going to message me and say, Hey, this, this, this, this, look, I'm on top of it, man. I've been training for a long time. I appreciate all your help, but, uh, but that's not the point. The point is, is I'm in there training. And usually lately I've been training with DJ and today I train on my own. And when I train on my own, I noticed something that I do that is not fucking normal. And that is like, I literally scream at myself while I'm working out. And so what I want to do is kind of explain

this process mentally for you guys. So you guys could understand how to put it into play for you in any area of your life. All right. And that's called self-coaching. All right. A lot of people and a lot of you guys are always constantly looking for a coach or a mentor or a guide. And that's great. That is great because dude, coaches help, especially if they're experienced coaches, dude, I have guys, I would call quote unquote coaches about all kinds of shit. Now, they're not my quote unquote paid coach, but they're friends of mine. And when it comes to business, they might ask me some shit and I kind of coach them. And when it comes to things that they are more experienced in, I ask them. And so everybody's got people and there's nothing, there's no shame in having

guides and coaches and mentors, but the one that's going to make the biggest difference for you is your self-coaching. All right. Cause you can't have your coach there 24 hours a day. It's not realistic for anybody. Even the most elite athletes in the world don't have access to someone just following them around saying, hey, do your shit. All right. That has to be us. That's our responsibility. Now, how I do this, like in the weight room is, for example, and I'm not going to sit here like some of these dudes online. They like to make you think that they're bulletproof and they like to make you think that that, you know, they never have weak thoughts, but the truth is everybody has weak thoughts

and everybody wants to quit. Everybody. You guys probably have this perception that there's certain people out there that are just fucking animals and never even have the urge to quit. And I feel like that's quite the opposite if we're being totally honest. Totally honest? I think the people who you think are the biggest fucking animals are actually the ones that want to quit the most. And I think the reason that they don't quit

is because they finally tuned their self-coaching. I know that's the case for me. Now, there might be some motherfucking savages out there that just never, ever feel the inkling, and maybe they're further down the road than me. I don't know, but I can only talk for me, and I think my life speaks a pretty good story for winning, all right? I'm not trying to say that to brag. I'm saying that just to be honest. I think I set a good example for a lot of you guys who are younger, who are trying to build something and wanting to build something real.

And whether that be your business or your body or your relationship or your friendships, I feel very solid in all of those areas of my life. And I'm proud of that. But I want to tell you how this happened for me and how I kind of put it all together. And it really comes down to me finally tuning my internal voice and my self-coaching. Now, if you follow 75 Hard and you listen to my content regarding that, you know I talk a lot about the bitch voice and the boss voice. All right. All of us, no matter how bad ass you are, have this inside of us. We all have the bitch voice. That's the voice that tells us,

hey man, you're fucking tired. Hey man, you're hurt a little bit. You should rest. Hey man, you're worn down. You need a break. Hey man, you know what? Those emails can wait for tomorrow. Hey, man, you know what? That meeting, you're in charge. You could cancel that meeting. Hey, man, you've got five more calls left today, and really what you want to do is go drink a beer. You know what?

It's okay to drink a beer and reward yourself. That's the bitch voice, all right? We all have it. And it usually kicks in when we're working out about three quarters of the way through the set or the workout, right? We get that urge where we're like, ah, I'm getting tired. I don't feel it. And dude, I'm using the workout because that was the example today that made me realize

that I do this so much in all areas. But guys, this is a voice that's present in all areas of life. Okay. And it, and it, and it affects how we respond and what we do in all areas of life. So you have to, first of all, you know, decide what it is you really want. What do you want? What do you really want? Like there's, there's a difference between, you know, I kind of, this would be nice. It would be nice to lose 50 pounds and look pretty good. Or I'm fucking losing 50 pounds and I'm going to look like a fucking etched sculpture out of marble.

Okay. Those are two different things. And a lot of people confuse the first part with an actual goal that is never going to work. If you're thinking in your mind right now, you know what? It'd be nice if I made twice as much money, or it'd be nice if I lost 100 pounds, or it'd be nice to be in good shape. You're not going to make it. That's just the truth. And I'm not saying that to be rude. I'm not saying that to be ignorant. I'm not saying

that to be an elitist or any kind of those things. I'm saying that because it's reality. Success in all these areas is really fucking hard, guys. And it takes a lot of discipline and a lot of work and a constant awareness of if you are doing the work or not, that's going to get you there. And a lot of people never really delineate between what they really want and what would be nice for them. Most people think what they really want is what they tell themselves. That would be really nice if I had that. No, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about setting a fucking goal for yourself that you are extremely, extremely serious about achieving. All right. So you have to do that first. And that might sound like common sense to some of you guys, but I promise you to most people that is not, those two things are the same thing.

When you, when, when I say, Hey, you need to have a goal, they will respond back to me and they will say, well, you know, if I could really like do anything, you know, I'd like to be, I don't know, 30 pounds lighter. Right. That's what people say. You've heard it. You've probably said it. All right. That is not setting a goal. Setting a goal is motherfucker. I am going to do whatever the fuck it takes to get down 30 pounds. All right. I'm doing it, whatever it takes all day long. With everything I do, I'm going to get focused. I'm going to make that happen. All right. So what do you really want because dude? It's you don't have to want what everybody else wants

You know a lot of people think well You know, I should have a six-pack. You don't have to fucking have a six-pack That's just what some people want and what some people are willing to pursue. You don't have to be rich That's just what some people want. So you have to decide what it is you want and get serious about it. Otherwise you're going to be real disappointed. But moving on from that, because that's the obvious thing, right? You have to start to train your inner voice to catch you when you're slipping. So you have to become aware of what actions you're taking. Am I taking this action and is it supporting what I said I'm going to do? Okay. And guys, this is why the power list is such a huge deal. I talk to you guys about it all the time and you don't need to buy

our powerless journals. That's not a sales pitch. My power list that I use is a fucking notebook. I've used it since 2004 or I still have it. And I have all my pages that I tore out from it from 2000. I can literally go back and look at what I was doing in June, 2007 and see what I did on fucking May 15th, 2007. That's pretty cool. Okay. I have the literal blueprint for what we've built here based upon writing my goals down and paying attention to what the powerless process is. So if you want to, if you want to learn more about that process, you can go listen to episode 107, uh, of the MFCO in this feed, or we reposted that episode, uh, recently at episode 16. All right. In this feed. So if you go to the real AF episode 16, you're going to find that exact same podcast. That is

at episode 107 on the MFCEO project. And it's going to guide you through how to do this process. I don't want to spend all kinds of time on this because I have a whole podcast dedicated to it. And you need to listen to the whole podcast because it's a lot more involved than just writing your shit down. But if you use that process and you execute against it with what we're going to talk about here and what we're talking about here, you cannot fail. It is impossible. It's impossible to fail. And I mean that you have to constantly have that awareness in your brain about all the little things that you do. And so it has to get to a point where it's so specific that when you catch yourself

skipping out on the tiniest little details, one or two or three reps in your workout, one or two or three emails, skipping a meeting, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, those things are cumulative just like they would be cumulative if you were to do them. And you have to understand that. So when you catch yourself slipping, that's the cue for your, your boss voice, your strong winner voice to stop your weak voice, your bitch voice and say, Oh, motherfucker, you got three more to do. And I literally do this like in the gym. And if you follow me around all day, you would see that I talk to myself constantly verbally. All right. Usually when no one's around, but sometimes when people are around too, I've actually verbally say it.

Now you don't have to do this. I find that more, more effective for me. All right. And I actually kind of like it. Um, but you have to learn to obey that voice when it catches you slipping. When that voice kicks in your head and says, ah, motherfucker, you ain't supposed to be eating that cupcake. Don't eat the cupcake. When, when, when I text DJ this morning and I said, Hey, I'm not going to lift today. Cause my, my shoulder hurts and I need rest. You know, I thought about it for about 30 minutes and you know what I did?

I got my fucking car and I went and worked out and I would lift it. And I said, you know what? I'm not going to take the easy road. I'm going to take the hard road. This is the key guys. You have to learn to obey this inner voice all the time. Your boss voice is the voice of your maximum potential. Your boss voice is going to be the voice that if you obey and if you listen to is going to help you produce the result that will be accumulation of all of your potential put together. And this is what you want because you don't want to be the person that when your day comes and your day could be coming today, you don't want to be that

person that says, man, I wish I would have fucking gave a little bit more. I wish I would have done a little bit more. I wish I would have seen a little bit more of what the fuck I was made of. All right. You don't want that. And some of you guys, this might not resonate with you because you're, you're, you're not as high, strong, and you're not as driven. And guys, that is not, that is, I'm not giving you pressure. I'm just telling you that if you want to fucking win, this is a great way to train yourself how to win in all areas. You want to be like everybody else? I'm not judging you. All right. The world needs people to cook fucking French fries. I get it. But what I am telling you is if you want to fucking win, you are going to have to start

obeying the voice that catches you slip. And when you slip and you have to obey it a hundred percent of the time. All right. So you can do this silently, right? We all do this silently sometimes I think, but most of the time it gets ignored. And this is, and I'm not sitting here trying to pump you on 75 hard, but this is the power of 75 hard. 75 hard will train you to listen to that boss voice exclusively and your life will greatly accelerate. And if you ask anybody who has legitimately the right way, finish 75 hard, they will tell you the same it's a mental retraining all right but you can start to help this process every day when you catch yourself not wanting to do the things that you know you need to do it's very simple concept of self-coaching would you ignore your coach if he said oh motherfucker three more reps and he's standing right there ready to put his foot in your

ass if you don't do it no i don't think you would i wouldn't all right some people might but those people probably aren't listening to this podcast you guys are fucking winners you guys want to win that's why you're here so this is a huge tool that you can use consistently on a daily basis and every kind of scenario that can help you guys get where you want to go. All right. When that voice kicks in and says, oh man, I'm tired. Say, no, fuck you, bro. Now you're going to do extra shit because you're bitching.

That's what I do. I do that with everything. When I catch myself missing three reps, guess what I do? I do five reps. I put the weights down. I did this today. Put the weights down. I said, oh, motherfucker, you got three more. Guess what I did? I do five reps. I put the weights down. I did this today. Put the weights down. I said, oh, motherfucker, you got three more. Guess what I did? I did five as punishment for me being a

fucking bitch. All right. This is something that you guys have to start doing. This is something that I've done for a long time, but I never put my finger on it. Then a lot of people don't. And so I wanted to share this with you guys, because I think it's a very powerful skill that a lot of people kind of look past because they don't want to feel bad, right? Like right now, all we're hearing in the, in the media and you know, I've talked a lot of shit on this too. You know, the self-love, self-love is listening to your boss voice guys. That's self-love because you're loving yourself to do what the fuck is right and what you really want and what's right for you and your family and the people that look up to you.

You're getting better. And anything that gets you better is better for everybody else that looks at you as well. And you guys have to step up and start taking responsibility as humans to be the best that you can. Because other people's existence depends on it. Whether you have kids, whether you have neighbors, if you're not living in a fucking igloo where no one else in the world ever going to see you, you're affecting the outcome for other people by the way that you live. And that should fucking really make you think. I think about that all the time

and I take that responsibility serious. All right. So you don't have to have a million something followers or a big podcast or any of this shit or a company or anything. Start with leading yourself. Start with leading your fucking family and start by leading yourself by coaching yourself and listening to the great coach that lies inside all of us.