REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 38. Real Talk: Everything Is A Test

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Whether you like it or not, from the second you wake up...to the time you go to bed, you are constantly faced with temptations that ultimately shape your character and affect your future success. On today's show, Andy teaches you one simple shift in your perspective to build self-control.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In the projects living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we've got a real talk episode, but before I get into that, I'd like to remind you of the fee. The fee is just very simple.

If you like the show, if it makes you ponder, if it makes you readjust, if it makes you better, which is what the point of all of this is, I'd ask that you share the show. Give us a little share. Please leave us a review on iTunes. Please share with your friends and get the word out because dude, realists make the world better. And that's the truth. And speaking of realists, I have a story for you guys I want to share. This morning, I was working out with one of my good buddies, and he is working real hard to get himself into shape, and he's making incredible progress. I'm super proud of him. We started talking, and he was explaining to me how he was cursing the Taco Bell gods, all right?

And let me explain to you the Taco Bell gods are the fast food gods. When you are a big dude, like I was a big dude, I'm still a big dude, but I'm talking like a big dude. When I was like three 50, it is a very hard to resist the temptations of the Taco Bell gods. Okay. This is no joke. This is not a laughing matter. Driving past Taco Bell

when you're a big boy, all you big boys know what I'm talking about. That shit takes power. It takes resistance. You guys have to understand that this is no joke and that the serious of this matter

is serious. Okay. Now, when I was talking to my buddy, we were having this talk. He said, you know, my fiance is pregnant and she asked me to go to Taco Bell drive through. And I said, babe, I said, I can't, I can't do it. This is hard. It's hard for me, which I understand because this was one of my biggest demons and biggest faults for years and years and years until I figured something out. And that's what I want to share with you guys today.

I want to share with you the little shift in perspective that you can have to help conquer your Taco Bell devil, whatever that may be, right? We all have things that control us. We all have things that are hard for us to resist. Some of us, those things are cookies. Some of us, those things are Taco Bell. Some of us, those things are other things like drugs or alcohol or other more dangerous things. Okay. Even worse than that. Okay. We all have temptations, but what I want to talk to you guys about today is how to see those temptations and overcome them effectively on a consistent basis. So back to my story. Okay. He was venting to me that, you know, this is a hard thing for him to continue to stick to a nutrition plan and lift and do all these

things and have to, you know, help his fiance with some of her pregnancy cravings and some of the things that she wants to do, which is, you know, that's everybody's choice about how they want to feed themselves. And sometimes we want a little snacky snack and that's just reality. But I said to him something real simple. I said, Hey bro, so let me show you how I defeated these things. And it's very simple. It's, Hey bro. So let me show you how I defeated these things. And it's very simple. It's a very simple concept. Okay. Because for years and years and years, dude, I used to blame

my wife, right? Like she baked cookies. She's a good chef. She does all these cookbooks and all this amazing stuff. And I used to get real mad and say, wait, why are you making this stuff? Why are you making all these cookies and snacks and cakes and cookbooks and all this shit? When I'm sitting here struggling with my weight, dude, like I'm a food addict. It is hard for me to not be a big old boy. Okay. So I used to get real mad at her and I'd resent her for doing all this. But then I had a perspective switch and this is where my life changed. It really did. It really changed in all areas when I changed this perspective. And the way that I started to look at her cooking is I started to see her cooking and

putting all these wonderful things to eat out in front of me as a challenge. And I started to, instead of seeing it as something that she was doing that was making it harder on me, I instead chose to see it as something that I could pass as a test. I could improve my mental toughness. I could improve my discipline. I could become mentally stronger by not putting that cookie in my mouth, by not eating whatever it is that she has set out, by not going through the Taco Bell drive-thru and ordering anything for myself, which is exactly what I told my buddy. I said, hey, man. I said, why don't you look at it like this?

Why don't you look at it like when you drive through the Taco Bell and you don't order anything or you drive through McDonald's and you don't eat a french fry as a mental victory and deposit that into your mental bank of being mentally strong. All right. This is the key to you not being a slave to all these outside elements that detract from you trying to be whatever it is you're trying to be, whatever your goal is. See, it's real easy for us as people to put the blame on other people or their decisions or how they impact you. But at the end of the day, this is our responsibility. And so when you take control and take responsibility for yourself completely and start to understand that you don't

have to eat that cookie and you don't have to get yourself something when you go through the drive-thru and you don't have to eat what your kids are eating and you don't have to do any of these things and you are actually free to make other choices and not only are you free to make other choices it's actually something that can help build you by resisting the temptation that's in front of your face. Okay. And this is a point that a lot of people spend their whole lives trying to get to. It's a place they try to get to.

I can remember what it was like to not be able to walk past a cooler full of beer without grabbing one. I can remember what it's like to literally not be able to go out to eat because I felt like I had not enough discipline to not order the delicious food that I really wanted to order as opposed to the food that fit my program. I can remember what it was like to feel resentful towards my friends and my family for not supporting my goals. But the truth is, is that it wasn't that they weren't supporting my goals. It was that they were living their life and my ego expected them to all realign to support my priorities, which isn't right. And it's not okay. A lot of you guys

complain and complain and complain about people not supporting you. And it's not that they don't support you. It's that you have a heightened sense of self-importance and you think that everybody else should live the way that you want them to live. When in reality, if people want to eat Taco Bell and cookies and make fucking wonderful shit, and that brings them happy, they should be able to do that. So what are we actually talking about here? What we're talking about is identifying our own lack of discipline and dealing with it so that we no longer have these problems where we can't go to a restaurant or we can't go to a barbecue or we can't go to a social function because we don't lack the discipline to stick to what our plan is. And you can apply this concept to any area of your life. And guys, it's important

that you realize why you need to have this shift in perspective because the biggest challenges and obstacles that we all face won't be won or lost over other people or outside influences they are won and lost amongst ourselves that's what we're talking about here what we're talking about here. What we're talking about isn't defeating Taco Bell or defeating the cookie or defeating the beer. We're talking about defeating ourselves in a good way. It's not always good to defeat yourself. Sometimes it is. And when your bitch voice is starting to push you into a place where you are going off track on whatever it is your goal. It could be financial. It could be fitness. It could be spiritual. It could be relationship. It could be any different area of life. When you start to find yourself getting off track,

the reason you're getting off track is not based around the outside circumstances that you blame. It's based around your own weakness that you're not willing to take accountability for. All right. And another perspective that I want you to consider is this. A lot of you guys train your muscles. A lot of you guys will spend hours a day on emails. You'll dedicate hours upon hours upon hours to all of these different areas of your life. You'll go to counseling. You'll go see a therapist. You'll go to the gym. You'll do your work. You'll do all these things that you need to do, but you won't put the practice in on a day-by-day basis to increase your ability of mental toughness to build that bank account. Okay. So instead of looking at all these outside factors as something that is going to beat

you, start realizing that the only motherfucking thing that beats you as you, the only thing that could stop you is you blaming you on a fucking Taco Bell run or a cookie or somebody else doing something that it is that they're doing is really, truly weak as fuck. That's the bottom line. And a lot of you guys haven't figured that out yet. It's not them. It's not the commercial on TV. It's not the smell when you drive past the restaurant. It's none of that shit. It's your own fucking weakness and your own unwillingness to address the problem that is ultimately going to make your life that much better. When you build this mental toughness by looking at every little thing as a test of your will

and your fortitude and your ability to do what you say you're going to do, even if it's as small as resisting the donut in the conference room on Monday morning that everybody else is happy stuffing their fucking faces with, when you start to realize that that's an investment in your ability to make the correct choices, your life is going to get better. There is no question. So instead of blaming all these other outside things, instead of seeing them as temptations, instead of seeing them as something that has power over you, realize that you have all the power you have all the say you have all the decision-making ability and that motherfucking cookie has no fucking power over you until you give it some that's the bottom line here and if you guys start to look at these mental victories as a point and a place

to improve instead of a point and a place to whine and cry and fucking fail, your life is going to start to become exactly what you wish it to be. And that's my message for today. Everything is a test. Everything is an opportunity if you allow it to be. If you want to be a victim, you'll be a fucking victim. But I'm going to tell you, the difference between where you are right now and where you want to be is the difference between you seeing these little things as an opportunity to get better or as a crush and a temptation that holds you back it's your decision and it makes no fucking difference to me which one you choose but if you truly want it if you truly want what you say you want, start practicing this method. Everything's an opportunity to resist. Everything's

an opportunity to win. I can tell you right now, there is fucking nothing on this planet that fucking has power over me. Nothing. And I'm going to tell you what, on top of that, you have not experienced one ounce of freedom in your fucking life until you get to that point. I can go anywhere, anytime, anyplace. I can travel anywhere I want to go. And my shit, my world is my fucking world. And the reason it is is because I conquered this piece of me. And it's something I hope you all do as well.