REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 397. The Power Within: Be Your Own Best Friend

Episode Date: October 15, 2022

In today's episode, Andy talks about why nobody is obligated to solve your problems, how you can become a person who is self-sufficient to achieve big goals, and why you should call yourself out on your shortcomings as well as encourage yourself when needed.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a real talk. I haven't done a real talk in a while, but I have something that I want to address with you guys that I think is very important. And I'm going to get right into it. You guys know how the show works. We have Q&A, F-C-T-I, full-length real talk, and the fee is tell someone about the show. So I don't lose my train of thought. I would prefer to just get right into this. Is that okay with you? Cool. I'm going to do it. Here's the thing.

I see this more and more in society, and I think it's something that we should all be more aware of. Nobody is obligated to come along and check on you. Nobody is obligated to come along and pull you out of whatever dark shit you're going through. Nobody is obligated to come along and pull you out of whatever dark shit you're going through. Nobody is obligated to come along and help you financially. No one is obligated to come along and be your fucking friend. And sometimes you have to be your own friend. Sometimes you have to be your own best friend. And sometimes that's the only motherfucking friend you are ever going to have is yourself. There are going to be times in your life, no matter who the fuck you are, that there

is nobody else around to pull you the fuck out. And so I want you to understand and realize that when you expect people to come and make a big deal because you're feeling down, or you expect people to come and help you financially when you're struggling or you expect people to come and do this. And then you like go on the internet and you're like, fuck, nobody gives a fuck about me. Let me make you understand something that also not only keeps you in your dark place, but it also makes you bitter towards humanity when there is no real expectation that any of this should be happening for you. And so I don't say this to say, hey, don't ask for help or don't tell people what's going on. That is not what I'm saying

because guys, I've had to ask for help plenty of times. I've struggled in my life plenty of times and I am blessed enough to have had people in my life to help me get through those times. But it wasn't every time. And sometimes I had to be my own best friend. Sometimes I had to tell myself the real truth, just like a best friend would. Do you want a best friend in your life that lies to you, that pacifies you, that makes you feel good about where you are when you're not in a good spot? Or would you like a best friend in your life who not only identified the problem, but also helped you find a solution for getting out of where it is you are? Because I know what I want and I know how I treat myself. And I have always been my own best friend. I have always been the person who is the first person to not only tell myself the truth about myself, but also develop a plan to get out of whatever situation I'm in. And because culture is in a state of professional victimhood and propping up victimhood,

we are now in a scenario where many people feel as if they are entitled to other people putting them first. We see this all the time with the simple thing of the meme that we see out there that says, oh, well, stop calling all your friends and see who still calls you. And then you find out who your real friends are. That's entitlement, bro. Everybody has their own shit going on. Everybody has their own life going on. Everybody has their own obligations going on. And a lot of those people that you think should be helping you are actually struggling with the same shit you're struggling with. Maybe even worse. So as a society and as a culture, I think it's super important for all of us to realize that the best friend that we need in our lives is always ourselves. How do we become the best friend for ourselves? It's very simple. What would you want

a best friend to do for you? Okay. And a best friend to me, someone who will tell me the truth, someone who points to the exact source of my struggle, someone who helps me develop a plan to move forward in that struggle. And then someone who cheers me the fuck on as I fight through it. That's what best friends do. Best friends do not come in and save the fucking day. Best friends do not come in and make it worse by taking you out drinking for fucking a week straight. That's not best friend shit, at least not mature real life. Best friend shit. Real life, real brother shit is about helping you get better. And that requires some honest conversations. That requires a lot of truth and it requires an intelligent plan to move forward. So if you're struggling and you're having a hard time, like many people are

right now, everybody knows that situations in the world right now are not ideal. Not only are they not ideal, they're extremely difficult. And there's a lot of people struggling. And if that's you, I want you to honestly ask yourself what your expectations are of the people around you and also what your expectations are of yourself. Because if you expect the people around you to come pick you up and pull you through when everybody's struggling, guys, that's just not a realistic expectation. It's just not. So we have to build ourselves into our own best friend and biggest cheerleader. You are capable of doing that.

And it's very simple. You have two voices in your head. You've got the voice that. And it's very simple. You have two voices in your head. You've got the voice that you're struggling with right now. I call it the bitch voice, but you also have a much stronger ideal potential human voice called the boss voice. And that boss voice in your brain, the one that tells you, Hey bro, you're being fucking lazy or Hey bro, you were kind of dick right there. Or Hey bro, um, you're being fucking lazy. Or hey, bro, you were kind of dick right there. Or hey, bro, you need to fucking be better here, here, and here. Or hey, dude, that's not very good for you to do. That's the voice that we all have. That is the voice of our own best friend. And like I said, if you need help, ask for it. But don't expect it just to show up at your

fucking door. That's your part and you got to do it. So I just wanted to bring some awareness to you guys about what could potentially be harming you and keeping you where you are. And I don't want you to get bitter towards your friends and family because they aren't accommodating enough to your tastes. The higher likelihood that we have here is that people are also dealing with their own stuff and they may not even be aware of how you're struggling. So you got to be your own fucking best friend. If you can't figure out how to do that, you're going to have a very, very difficult life and you're going to have a life that is bitter and full of frustration

and full of anger and full of hate. And I don't want that for you. So be your own best friend.