REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 4. Real Talk: Why Idealistic Thinking Guarantees Losing

Episode Date: February 24, 2020

Conditions will never be ideal. How the most successful people in the world react in the midst of all the chaos and become their ideal self.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. In the project, living, spoke it till existence. Mode changed to 50, got more cars than did it. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys? This is Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have one of my real talk

episodes these are shorter they have one main point the longer episodes are like a buckshot these are like single bullets coming at you i'm trying to get you to think i'm trying to get you to question the lies society tells us and even the lies you tell to yourself i want you to walk away from this with some extra gas in your tank and light a fire under you so that you can be more successful and happier. Why do I want that? Even though some days it's true, I want to punch everybody in the fucking face. The reality is my life is pretty awesome. I wake up most mornings, I look in the mirror and I say, hey, motherfucker, I love this life. I feel good about it and I'm glad to be

alive. And I realize that not everybody feels this way about themselves or their lives. All right. A lot of you guys know that I'm in the midst of going through phase three of 75 hard. 75 hard is the program I developed that creates mental toughness. It creates the mindset that drives things that everybody wants in their life. Discipline, confidence, fortitude, grit, perseverance, you name it, this program helps you get it. My point isn't to plug the program here. It's free. You go to 75hard.com. I guess I am plugging it a little bit, but the point here is to give you a little background. One of the requirements of 75 hard is to do two workouts a day. And one of them absolutely has to be outdoors. Now, an outdoor workout isn't a big deal if you live in California or Vancouver, where the weather most of the year

is pretty stable and mild and tolerable. And I know you're thinking Vancouver's in Canada. It's cold as shit. Yeah, but they got some good weather up there in Vancouver. But here's the thing. When you live here in the Midwest, like I do, when you live in St. Louis, Missouri, like I do, outdoor workouts in February can be brutal because the truth is on a warm day, it's 23 degrees. On a good day, it's cold, but clear. And yesterday wasn't a warm day. It wasn't a perfect day. It was nine degrees. It wasn't a clear day. It was windy. It was raining. It was icing. Being outside in the sleet in St. Louis, if you've never experienced it, is a lot like being

showered by sheets of icy little needles, okay? And I had to walk and run in this for 45 minutes. Guys, I'm not going to lie. It sucks. I started thinking, man, this sure would be a lot easier if it was summertime. And then I caught myself. No, if it was summertime, it'd be hot as hell. If it was springtime, it'd be raining and it'd be humid. Or there might be tornadoes. If it was fall, yeah, that might be the only time when the weather here in the Midwest would be tolerable. But since it's the Midwest, you never know what you're going to get in the fall. It could be freezing. It could be stormy. It could be anything. But the one thing that it will never be, no matter what the weather is like, is ideal. Guys, let me tell you, conditions will never be perfect.

They will never be ideal. There's always going to be a reason for not getting things done. There's always going to be a reason that you don't do the things that you need to do to improve yourself. There's always going to be a reason for not doing the things that will make you happy and successful. If the weather is good, your schedule is going to be crazy. If your schedule is good, your energy level is going to

be off. If your energy level is good, there's going to be some disconnect with some part of your life that is going to make things not ideal. There's going to be some hiccup at work, some fire you need to put out, some drama you need to deal with. It never stops. Conditions will never be ideal for you to be productive. They'll never be ideal for you to make progress and they will certainly never be ideal for you to be happy and successful.

This is a myth. That's a false narrative that too many people tell themselves to justify their inaction, to justify their procrastination, and to justify their failure. So if that's the line you're feeding yourself, if you're saying to yourself right now, well, the circumstances just aren't conducive to me exercising today. The conditions aren't ideal for me and my life. It's just not the right time to finally make that big move that I've been waiting to make or to take that risk that I know I need to take. If that's what you're saying to yourself, guys, I'm going to tell you right now, you're telling

yourself a fairy tale. You're believing the myth of average. You're lying to yourself. There's no other way to say it. This is why you feel average. This is why you don't feel good about yourself. And this is why when you look at your life, it looks like every single person that you knows life. And this is why it's hard for you to get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, man, I love my life. I'm happy I'm here.

I'm proud of what I've done. If that's the life you really want, I'm going to tell you right now, you have to stop waiting for things to become ideal. You have to stop waiting for conditions to be perfect. You need to stop thinking that one of these days, circumstances will be conducive or favorable to your success and happiness. Because I promise you, they won't. And they never will be conducive or favorable to your success and happiness. Because I promise you, they won't and they never will be. So stop expecting the ideal and start dealing with the real. The real is messy. The real is chaos.

The real doesn't always make a lot of sense. It's not always fair. Good things happen to terrible people and terrible things happen to good people every single day. That's just the way it is. In the world we live in, you can't grow a garden that doesn't have weeds or a zoo that isn't full of animal shit. We live in a universe where things get old and die. Nothing is exempt from getting busted or broken. It's very, very rare for your day to go exactly as planned or for everything to fall in place perfectly. Deals fall through. Friends get mad at you. Your car's going to break down. Your kid's going to get the flu. You name it, it's going to happen. Life on planet earth is not utopia and it never has been.

And guess what? It's never going to be either. So if you have it in your head that all the forces in the universe are going to magically come together so you could finally do what you want to do. So you could finally become who you want to become and you could finally live the life that you want to live. I'm going to tell you right now, you are absolutely going to live in a constant state of disappointment. You're going to waste your life. And when you die, you're going to die with a lot of regret. Guys, listen to me. Your commitment to the ideal is destroying any chance you have at real success and real happiness that goes with it. The most successful people, the happiest people, they know conditions are never perfect.

They don't deal in what they wish things were like. They deal in what is. They get up and go running even when it's nine degrees outside and sleeting. They cut a negative family member out of their life even though they know it's going to piss off the rest of the family. They drive five hours to another city to deal with a disgruntled customer, even though they've already put in a 12-hour workday. They take the leap of faith and leave the job they hate, even though they know they have to sacrifice their nice home to build the dreams that they have on the inside. These people don't wait for their schedule to clear. They don't wait for the weather to get nice.

They don't wait until they have a thousand percent financial security to start living. They don't wait until they are more confident and sure of themselves. They don't wait until they have the energy or the motivation or anything else. They scorn the idea of the ideal and they fucking despise it.

They accept the real world as the shit show that it actually is. And they don't wait for conditions to be perfect. They just act. And that's how little by little, day by day, step after intentional step, exceptional people move closer to becoming their ideal self. They move closer to experiencing their ideal life. This is why they are truly successful and this is why they are truly happy.