REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 410. Q&AF: Leading Culture, Multiple Businesses In A Household & Handling Debt As A Young Business Owner

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

In todays episode, Andy answers your questions on how real leaders fix a faulty culture inside of a company, the best way to navigate starting a business when your spouse owns one, and what mentality you should have when starting a new business with a huge amount of personal debt. 

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. realist say goodbye to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af q and af is where uh you submit the questions and i answer them dj yo where can they submit their questions guys email those questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com yeah do that okay make them about how to get better um in any which way whether it be with way, whether it be with your business, whether it be with your personal development, whatever it is, okay? Because we have a special recipe here at the show.

And all of these little formats that we do within the show work together to solve a collective problem, which is the world is fucked up and somebody's got to fix it. So with Q and AF, which is what you're listening to now, you're going to get my extensive success, entrepreneurship experience, life experience answers. Okay. They're going to help you figure out how the fuck to become whatever it is you're trying to become. Other times when you tune in, we're going to have CTI. This is like, well, it's called CTI. We cruise the internet. We put up three headlines. We make fun of them, okay? We have senses of humor on this show.

And we talk about the problem that is going on in the world with each specific scenario. And then we talk about what can be done collectively to solve this. And that goes back to what this show is about, which is how do we make ourselves individually stronger? We combine those two together to fix the world's problems. Now we also have two other formats. Sometimes I get on here and do a real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of real talk. All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you with what I think is important. Something that I see needs to be addressed. Basically, it's all about how we

need to be better or how you need to think better or think different to get where it is you want to go. And then we have full length and full length is like the 40 gazillion other podcasts out there where we bring people on and we interview them. Uh, and we talk about how they got where they are, what they do, and basically try to, uh, extract the theme of these motherfuckers are no different than you. Okay. Because the biggest problem that you face is that you believe that these people who are doing great shit don't have the exact same things that you have inside of you. And it's not true. All right. So our show is all about improving culture, improving the world, uh, through individual responsibility and individual

growth. All right. Nobody's going to do that for you. Okay. I'm not doing it for you. I'm going to give you the fucking information and you got to do it. Just listening to the show isn't going to do a fucking thing for you. All right. So you're supposed to go out and put this into action. But anyway, that is the gist of the show.

We have a fee for the show. Okay. I don't run ads on the show. And the reason I don't run ads on the show, there's a couple of reasons. One, I don't like the fact that, podcasts have become 30 minutes of fucking ads, 30 minutes of content. It's annoying and it's overkill. And I could make eight figures a year based off the traffic of the show, just running ads on it, but I'm not going to do it.

And the other reason I'm not going to do it is because I'm not going to be told things to say or not say to you guys. Okay. I want you to understand that the message is pure. It comes from a place of me giving a fuck. And a lot of people are confused why I get so passionate. Well, the reason I get so passionate about the subject is because I am the American fucking dream.

Okay. I started out with little, made it into a lot, created a whole bunch of good shit from our amazing country that we all live in here in this, in this part of the world. And I want you to have the, at least the same opportunities that I had. Okay. And we're not having that right now. Those are those freedoms are being restricted and it pisses me the fuck off. So when I get angry, I understand that I'm angry because they're taking your opportunity from you right in front of your fucking face and you don't realize it yet. So get on board with that shit. Anyway. Yeah. What's up? What's going on? Other man, like, like, you know, people are all, people are always like, dude,

what, what, what do you care so much? Well, fuck man. Like I know what it's like to come from fucking a two man operation to build a bunch of different companies that employ a whole bunch of people that create a whole bunch of good. The ripple effect of that is immeasurable. And we're having it taken from us by these corrupt politicians day in and day out, we're having it taken from us because a lot of people, a lot of people that even listen to this show, okay, don't understand the implications of the sociopolitical environment on the ability for us to grow and be successful. It's a symbiotic relationship. That's right. So they look away. And this is why sometimes people are like, well, I listen to all your Q&As, but i don't listen to real talk or i don't listen to a cti well you're making a mistake

because the reason that we're in this this contentious scenario for success and growth is because a lot of you motherfuckers have never paid attention to what's going on in the world which has allowed a bunch of corrupt evil uh you know predatory people to get into power and steal from us yeah they're not just stealing money they're stealing opportunity and they're stealing the future plans for you and your children and i give a fuck about that yeah so like you could take all the fucking tools and lessons but you go try to run those plays like why the fuck isn't this shit working well bro that's because we're that's it we're in communism it doesn't work it listen we need fresh soil of fucking freedom here yes man and we need people to care like the solution of all of this is going to be the entrepreneur

okay it's not going to be the politician it's not going to be elon musk it's not going to be these it's going to be the small to medium-sized entrepreneurs that gather together and decide, we are fucking done with this shit and take the culture back through our own companies. That is exactly how it's going to be done. And until entrepreneurs start to understand that they need

to live this shit every single fucking day, nothing's going to change. That's real. And the entrepreneurs should get behind that shit. That's right. So right so anyway i see it very clearly yeah you know it's real shit man yeah anyway we got q and af today yeah i got some good ones for you good all right uh let's get into this andy question number one uh andy i believe uh that i am a high functioning individual but i'm surrounded by people with low frequency at my workplace, heavy drinkers, non-gym goers. I am a top performer at our brokerage and I'm proud of the strides I've made in my career. But at the end of the day, there's a void that's left from

a sense of culture that I felt that I, like I, I feel like I'm playing in a minor league baseball. Is there any advice to remedy this? Well, yeah. Are you a real leader or are you not a leader? Real leaders fix the culture. Fake-ass leader individualists fucking complain about it. Real leaders pull people with them. Real leaders take people to the gym. Real leaders sit down with people in the office

who want to be better and show them how. Real leaders fucking create the culture. They don't cry about the culture. culture okay so what it sounds like to me is that you have done very well in your own leading yourself and now it's time to grow into becoming a leader of men and women and that's great yeah oh no no i'm not not listen don't take that as i'm knocking you yeah this is a normal process nobody comes out of the gate fucking leading everybody else, right? The first step to becoming a great leader is what? You got to lead yourself, right?

So you cannot. This is why the saving that Vince Lombardi said fucking whatever 70 years ago, leading by example is not the best way to win. It's the only way to win. It's the only way to lead. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, but that has to be individually first yeah right and then it grows into the people and so like this is something that a lot of people mistake because they get a title of leadership

or they think they're a leader because they're winning in one area of their life right they're they're setting records at work but the you know they they're fucking 30 pounds 50 pounds 100 pounds overweight something's lagging right their relationship or work, but they're fucking 30 pounds, 50 pounds, 100 pounds overweight. Something's lagging. Right. Their relationship, their bullshit. They're out drinking all the time. They're fucking broke. Look, this is a process and not everybody goes through it at the same pace.

So I'm not trying to knock whoever asked that question. It's a valid question. Yeah. But you need to understand that if you want to be a real leader and you want to take your value to the next level, right? You're doing well. Okay. I'm doing good. Yeah. And you want to get that if you want to be a real leader and you want to take your value to the next level, right? You're doing well. Okay. I'm doing good.

Yeah. And you want to get to that better level. You have to learn to lead. Yeah. Because there's only two fucking skills that pay big bucks, bro. And that's fucking sales and management or leadership. And it sounds like you've got the sales part maybe down, but the leadership part is weak. And I can tell by the way you're asking the question, right?

Yeah. Like I'm going to walk in a room. You see how I operate. I'm going to walk in a room and I'm going to fucking say, Hey, this is why you fucking suck. And by the way, this is why you suck.

And this is why you suck. And you know what? I got this to work on. This is my shit that I suck on. So let's all fucking, let's all fucking work together to get all of our, our standards up. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. So like it's, it, you cannot lead people until you lead yourself, which this guy's in a good position or whoever this is, a woman, I don't know. Um, and, and you've got that settled. So now you're in a great position, a great platform to leap off into the leadership in your culture. Right.

And by the way, um, if you can lead the culture inside of an organization, you're extremely valuable. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So now you got a team that's fucking winning. That's correct. Yeah, bro. And now and you know what the most valuable skill is being inside of a company? The most valuable skill is being able to replicate winners. If you can take people inside of a company and you can replicate yourself in them and create them a bunch of winners, bro, you're fucking invaluable. You're invaluable because you're like a winner machine, right? It's real common to get one or two individuals who are really good. It's very rare to have one of those two individuals be able to replicate their winning

in person after person, after person, after after person because people's egos get involved, right? People don't like to bring people up to their level because they're threatened by it. When in reality, if you actually bring people up to your level, they will lift you up higher. So you have to get over your own ego if you want to be a leader and understand that the laws of reciprocity are at play there when people understand that you created their skill set they will never try to you know occasionally they'll try to challenge you or whatever maybe yeah but like dude those are one that's one out of fucking every 500 right you're going to have that over the course of your time you're going to build someone up and they're going to try to fuck with you because of it but those people aren't they're not picking up the real lessons you know i'm saying right that's ego right so like you you deal with those one or two people

every five fucking years and then you move the fuck on and you keep doing it you know but at the end of the the end of the day the the answer is how good of a leader do you want to be do you want to be the guy that comes to work and feel superior because you're in better shape and you're earning more money and your life is in order? Or do you want to be the person that comes to work and makes everybody fucking better? Because that's the decision that this person has. Opportunity. Yeah. And there's massive opportunity there because if you can learn the skill of replicating leadership, bro, you might be able to take that fucking skill

and elevate your career tenfold or a hundredfold because it's so rare. It's so rare because humans let their ego get in the way and they start feeling threatened. Bro, this is why I do this show. This is why I do RTA. Bro, I give away every motherfucking piece and there's nothing I hold back, right? Because I know if I give you the information and you get good enough to come with me, bro, we're going to figure out a way to work together. Right? So that's, there has to be a selflessness and a confidence to real leadership. And you have to give without feeling like you have to hold the secrets back because

so-and-so might like, you know what I'm saying? Use that shit on me. Yeah. Like, dude, I get asked that all the time. They're like, bro, I want to meet with you and like pick your brain. I'm like, why? Well, you know, I just want to pick your brain. Well, first of all, bro, a cup of coffee with me is worth about fucking $10 million.

Okay. So you're going to fucking pay me? Right. Because I'm going to give you all this. Like, I can't fucking stand when people do that. Oh, hey, can I take you out for a cup of coffee of coffee oh that's all my time is worth a cup of coffee exactly motherfucker i'm gonna give you information to show you how to build a fucking empire right okay right so stop doing that it's an amateur move okay secondly you don't need to do that with me

because i tell you motherfuckers everything right because this i'm mission-based and my mission is we all need to win to restore the culture of greatness to this fucking country. So, like, I give you the shit. All right. Anyway, become a better fucking leader, change the culture. That's that's the that's the next step for this individual. Yeah. Andy, question number two. Andy, my husband started his major, uh, construction business three years ago.

And by all means, he's killing it during all of the COVID BS. I left the medical field as a nurse and helped my husband with his business. I love having his back and supporting him. However, I've had a calling to start my own business of which he is very supportive. My question is, how can I start this new business venture for myself and still support him even though I won't be able to be as hands-on as I once was? Look, man, you got to go where the fucking gold is. This is reality. Entrepreneurship is not about fun. It's not about passion. It's not about feeling good. It's about producing a fucking result. And

none of you out there are so good that you could just start a whole bunch of shit and produce the result. Okay. I just want you to understand that a lot of people fuck this up and I'm not shitting on anybody. Okay. I need you to understand that a lot of people fuck this up and and i'm not shitting on anybody okay i need you to understand this very clearly we this is an energy uh capital issue all right everybody only has so much energy to pour into things all right and if you have a hundred units of energy and i have a hundred units of energy and i'm only putting in 70 units because I'm distracted by this other thing over here. Even if I'm more skilled than you and you're putting a hundred units of energy into the

project, you're going to defeat me. This is, this is real shit. Okay. This is a law of, this is fucking natural order. This is how it works because no, and people will say, well, you know, there's room enough for everybody. Yeah. That's what losers say, bro. Okay. Like like for real nobody winning fucking says that okay now is there

really room enough for everybody yeah there is but remember i'm talking about the perspective from trying to be the absolute fucking best i'm not talking about just being effective or making a little bit of money or existing talking about being fucking great that's where i speak from so when you have the perspective i want to dominate bit of money or existing talking about being fucking great that's where i speak from so when you have the perspective i want to dominate you have to be dedicated and focused that's something to understand and the reason i want to preface the answer with that explanation is because i see a lot of people fuck this up right and it comes from this attitude that we see online that always comes from motherfuckers that i't done shit that say, oh, the average millionaire's fucking got seven streams of fucking income.

Right. And they make all these kids feel like if you don't have seven streams of income, you can't fucking. And what ends up happening is these people end up watering down their focus and their energy and their efforts and their resources across the spectrum of many different projects, which allows none of their projects to materialize. So with that being said, if your husband is killing it and he's not, it depends on how far off of what killing it is for you guys. Because I'm talking from a perspective, I'm speaking from a platform of I want to be the best. Okay. That is always my goal. And have I accomplished that goal?

Absolutely not. I have a long way to go, but that's my mentality. A lot of people, it's not that way. A lot of people, they just want to make a good living. They want to be comfortable. They want to have more balance. And because of that, they will make less money. And that is okay as well. All right. But you have to understand the

game before you get in the game. All right. So, so if your goal is to build that construction business, to be the best fucking construction business ever, or the best in your town, that might require some sacrifices, own personal dreams, right? Um, if he's doing good and you guys are good where he's at, my advice would be to keep aggressively growing the company with as much effort as he and his team can put in, and then work to create a team that will help pick up the slack of where you won't be able to put your attention on it, okay? And then you are free to go do what you want to do which by the way if it's if it's maybe it's a better idea than the construction company so like i want make i want to make sure

i'm not like shitting on your idea i'm just making you understand the reality of how you can fuck up by spreading yourself too thin yeah because we have an energy resource that has a limit every single day. Okay. So what I would do here, if you are assuming you are bent on making sure that your dreams happen and the construction company does the best it can, is I would scale out a team with the construction company that is very well trained, that does everything that you do, and then help that supplement that. And then you are free to go now you got more units that's correct yeah and that's how you leverage the energy yeah that's that's fucking right now that's exactly what you did when you scaled from you know one business to now two business once once you start moving up that's exactly how yeah bro i'm going through it like with my personal brands now like we're getting ready to launch all this new shit that you know about we've been talking about on the show like there's i've been kind of laying dormant and focusing all my

energy on the socio-political game and this this particular podcast i haven't been doing content on youtube i haven't been doing content on ig by the way that's all intentional um because i knew what the fuck i was going to do with this so uh you now I'm launching, we're launching many different projects, right? So I have to supplement an Emily, by the way, who runs all of that. See, people don't understand that she runs all my personal brand shit. She has her own business. Okay. So one of the things that we're dealing with now is how to build i want like i'm and by the way you guys are the ones that answer to her how hard is it to replace that no it's fucking very difficult because she's very good at what she does so we're gonna have to start to work to create

it's not an ad yeah no it's it's real shit like even if she what if we weren't married it would be the same value yeah so we have to replace that with some quality people that are trained properly. This is a discussion that her and I have consistently. Yeah. So that she's not fucking run to the ground and she can focus on her things like Freedom Reads and her paper and plan co and things like that. You see what I'm saying? So we have to supplement it out. And it really, it comes down to building the team properly um but also like if we were in a lesser position right like let's say let's say we weren't

uh where we are with my personal brand or let's say uh my other companies were way less uh successful than they are we were still in that like holy fuck we're we're we're just hanging on phase which lasted for fucking 12 years um i would tell her hey we can't afford to do this this yet this other thing yet yeah you know what i'm saying and by the way we had that discussion 10 fucking years ago right you see what i'm saying absolutely so so it's all about being smart and strategic and planning. But understand, and this is the fundamental thing, when you're competing with someone who's 100% focused and you're not focused in the same way, you're going to lose no matter how much better you are than them.

And that's the important thing to understand here. Yeah, I love it. Guys, Andy, our third and final question, question number three, I opened my own business in 2016 when I was 23 years old. I ran the business until March of 2020 when sales went to virtually zero and I was forced to close our doors. I'm now almost 30 with a huge amount of personal debt, but I'm determined to get into business for myself again. But I feel paralyzed by the debt and I'm unsure how to move towards that goal.

What are some actionable steps that you would recommend to start moving again towards my goal? Well, first of all, realize that like you're, the fact that you did that before you were 30 is amazing. Okay, the fact that you grew and lost a business before 30 is amazing. See, that's where you say that. Why? are fucking hearing like this sounds crazy let me finish what i was

gonna say um i failed eight fucking businesses before my first one fucking started you know how many you know how many things i did through high school that failed like i all i tell you guys like bro i was a kid who was out selling fucking lemonade, snow cones, popsicles, light bulbs. But bro, this shit is in me. Okay. So all through high school, I was trying to do these different things. None of which were, and one of which lost, I lost, um, one of which I lost $8,000 that I didn't have.

It put me in $8,000 debt. The other one, I lost 60,000, which I didn't have. And the way I got to 60,000 was someone someone gave me two thousand dollars for high school graduation i invested in fucking aol stock market uh aol i went from two grand to like 60 grand no shit and then i went on spring break and while i was listen while i was on spring break the market crashed because i wasn't watching i lost it all oh god and i had that money accounted for to fucking do these other things i was doing and i had to eat the shit okay so massive shit yeah especially a fucking 18 years old yeah okay so so i was lucky enough to have those experiences like literally in my teenage years

so that i and this is what i'm talking. I learned so much through those fucking failures. And looking, like, at the time, they felt insurmountable. Because, like, dude, when I started fucking S2 back in 1999, I had $60,000 of credit card debt. 60. At fucking 19 years old. People don't think about that. You know, that, dude, you don't think I was fucking scared?

Bro, I let the fear make, the fear is what made me not quit because I knew I had to pay the shit back, you know? So the fact that you've learned it, and by the way, I was ultra fucking fortunate to learn those lessons before I was 20. Okay. But when you're 30, you're still fucking super young. Yeah. So you, what you just did, bro, was you learn a shit ton in a very short amount of time, which if you could sit down and talk about all the things you learn and write them down and think about all the things you learn and continue to put productive things in your brain and build upon those lessons and add to the skills that you learn, that's only going to make you that much more equipped to win.

See, the problem is, is that when these things happen to people, most people just fucking roll over and they're done for life, right? This most, and this is, I would say upwards of 90% of people would tell that story for the rest of their fucking lives. It just stops there fuck

yeah dude bro real talk real talk how many people do you know like that yeah how many people do you all know like that i'm talking to the guys in the studio that had no one thing and they and they're like yeah back back in 82 man fucking stock market went south and that was it that was it man so here i am it's like bro it's 2022 right you know but yeah bro we see this with the 2008 crisis right like how many motherfuckers still talk about 2008 how they lost all their shit a lot oh bro i got killed in that and you know yeah but we just have four years a great fucking economy oh you know that bro that was fucking 12 years ago bro we could fucking start our own country and invade the rest of the country and take them over in 12 fucking

years like bro get the fuck out of here with that shit yeah okay and and and so i commend whoever this is for understanding like hey dude i want to go again because that's what it's about that's really what it's about it's about fucking picking yourself up off the ground saying, you know what? I learned a whole bunch of shit. Now these people are in fucking deep shit. Yeah. Right. And that's how, that's how I look at every dude.

Dude, you guys got to understand when the bigger you get, the harder the punches are going to, are going to be the big bro. People hate success. They hate people that win. They hate people that have a big mouth they they fucking bro i got all the fucking checkbooks you know what i'm saying like bro some people fucking hate me just because i'm me yeah and that's reality and they do things to fuck with me and fuck you know fuck my shit up but every time

i learn a new lesson about how to fucking be better you know you know like it's a choice yeah dude that's it it's how you look at it and and dude uh you know how how do you practically move forward like you said practical tips and uh wake up tomorrow and fucking go at it yeah right okay start working start you know have a plan to start moving that debt down by becoming wealthier and making more money and becoming successful. Because, dude, like, you know, I was saying a minute ago, what felt devastating for me at 19 years old, you know, now in my 40s, I'm like 60 grand. Like, that's it. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

Like, that's where, like, i agonized over that for years like it probably fucked like and now i'm like because i kept moving and i kept now i'm like bro you were really dumb for getting that worried about it yeah you see what i'm saying like so if you keep moving dude it's going to work out but you have to be smart enough not to make the same mistakes that you made the first time you have to be able to identify the lessons of your failure and you have to be willing to get up and fucking and go and like most people won't get up and go again because they're embarrassed because their friends saw him fail or their family saw him fail or The internet saw him fail and the reality is bro. People love a fucking comeback. They love it more than a fucking regular success

so you got an opportunity here that many people never get. And I actually think you're super fortunate to have had that experience so young with so much fucking future ahead of you. Yeah. That's fine. I love it. Guys, Andy. It's three. Yeah.

Share the show. Don't be a hoe. That's right. And by the way, this is Monday. You're supposed to vote tomorrow. And if you don't vote tomorrow and you think there's a big red wave or there's a bunch of people coming to save you or somehow everybody else is going to take care of it, you're sorely mistaken because it is my opinion that these people will cheat if the elections are close. So if you are tired of all the bullshit, if you're tired of the economic destruction, if you're tired of all the bullshit if you're tired of the

economic destruction if you're tired of all the intentional destruction going on in this country and it is intentional okay wake the fuck up all right go fucking vote get your fucking mom get your dad get your grandma get dig them out of the graves like they do brother listen i don't give a fuck i'm being dead serious bro we better get every motherfucking person out there to go vote. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. They fucking do the shit. Whatever. They cannot stay in power.

We will lose this fucking country. And all the shit I just taught you about success will not matter. So get your fucking people and go fucking vote. Went from sleeping on the floor Now my jewelry box froze Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove Counted millions in the cold Bad bitch, booted swole Got her on bankroll Can't fold, that's a no Headshot, case closed