REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 443. Q&AF: Resisting Cravings, Maintaining Relationships With Customers & Personal Development For Your Employees

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to resist cravings for junk food, the best way to grow your business while maintaining relationships with current customers, and if it's your responsibility to teach your employees about personal development.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and AF, that's society. And welcome to Motherfucking Reality, guys. Today, we have Q and AF. That's where you submit your questions, and I answer them. They can be about anything. It can be about life. It can be about business.

It can be about entrepreneurship. It can be about winning. It can be about anything going on in the world. Whatever you want to ask. That's what this show's about, okay? You can submit your questions two different ways. The first way is you can email those questions into guys, email those questions to ask Andy at Andy for seller.com. Or if you go on YouTube and just as a reminder, we are posting the full length real AF episodes

on YouTube now, and you click subscribe and you click the bell icon that will actually ping you whenever we drop a new episode on the Q and AF episodes, if you go in the comments and ask your question, we will choose questions from there as well. Now, a lot of you guys are first-time listeners, first-time watchers. We do things a little bit differently here. We have shows within the show. This is Q&AF, but other times you tune in, we might have CTI. CTI is Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics

on the screen we talk about the news we uh talk about what may be true what may be not true we make fun of it uh and then we talk about the problems that these things represent how we can all be a part of the solution to them sometimes we have real talk real talk is like what we did yesterday where it's just uh 5 to 20 minutes of me just dropping some heat on you guys. And then sometimes we have full length. Full length is where we have a guest on, and it's similar to what you guys see on all the other podcasts that are out there in the world. So for all of those things, there is a fee. The fee is very simple. If you got value out of the show, if you were entertained by the show, if the show taught you something. Now remember, this show is primarily an entrepreneurship success show. I had a podcast for a long time that was at the top of the charts for a long time called the MFCEO Project. I'm actually

starting that podcast again, but it's going to be on a private platform. So the basis of this is personal development. So if you want to know how to fucking win, uh, I would suggest you write your questions in our Q and a F and let me answer them because this is the only place that I do live Q and a, uh, ever. So that's the show, man. I don't take money from people. I don't let people advertise on my show. I can make eight figures a year based on the traffic of this show.

I don't do it because I don't want to answer to people. So all I ask in return is that if you get something from the show, if it helps you win, if it changes your perspective, if it makes you laugh, whatever, just tell some people, man. Okay. And especially about YouTube, we just started on YouTube. It's going real good for just getting started. This is going to be a long-term play for us we're going to uh post this show on youtube for the rest of time until they kick us off which may be soon uh but until they do uh follow us on youtube as well man go hit subscribe i know most of you guys listen on audio uh we've been audio exclusive for eight and a half years and uh now we're moving over to video as well so if you like to watch podcasts

um go watch it a lot of people are giving me good feedback on watching the podcast too like a lot of people like the uh they like the animation that i speak with what's that what's that subcategory voyagers what what's it when they here's the thing about podcasts like when you don't have good shit to say you shut the fuck up so what were you trying to say the voyeur like what is it called when they like to watch voyeur yeah from now on just cut the motherfucker's mic off until i get done with my shit okay all right now now what were you what were you trying to say what is it called voyeurs voyeur yeah well I thought you were talking about, you said Voyager.

I didn't know what, like the actual word. Cause I'm like, you know, well, Voyeur is like watching someone when they don't know you're watching. Yeah. Like that's what our people like.

Yeah. But I would know they were watching. Cause I could see the view count. Oh yeah. That makes sense. Anything else? Nope. That's it.

Okay. What's up, man? What's going on nothing oh shit i don't know a lot's going on in the world yeah what day what day you on in uh on 75 day 23 yeah how's it going bro it's crazy um i'm glad you brought that up because uh i love to talk about myself and so i was just so uh no i'm glad you brought it up for uh i love to talk about myself and so i just so uh no i'm glad you brought it up for real dude because you know there's a lot of people right now who are kind of deciding what it is they want to do at the beginning of the year right they're like all

right my year is kind of fucked uh i'm going to continue to get fatter for the next fucking two weeks right even though that's the bad decision they're going to do to get fatter for the next fucking two weeks. Right. Even though that's the bad decision, they're going to do it. And they're thinking about what to do. And I got to be honest with you guys. You know, this past year from when I had my shoulder surgery, I had my entire right shoulder reconstructed. I wasn't able to train. I was, I got through 75 hard a couple of times and through the phases but it was like it was very much like me

having to do it in a half-ass way because i couldn't fucking train the way i like to train that's just the truth i did what i could and it helped keep me within striking distance and everything and i'm very proud of the of what i did over the last year. Uh, but it was a mental struggle, dude. And I was mentally fucked up. And in the middle of that year, I also got off Lexapro and you know, this, this, just, just this past year has been entirely different kind of mental struggle for me. And it started at 75 hard 70 or 23 days ago because I was at a place where i could train again and uh i was at a place where um i needed it mentally and i told emily i said well because like you got to remember when i started this back in 2019 or 18 or whatever it was i've been on the program ever since so my

mental capacity was finally tuned that entire time i never let it go back right and because of the injury and the circumstances of this year i mean bro like 23 days ago when i started i was at my mental now now you guys don't really know this because i don't fucking bitch and cry and moan i'm not a fucking victim but i mean real talk dude like i was mentally fucking struggling like bad yeah you had depleted that that bank account yeah 100 and and uh i told emily i said well we're gonna find the out how well this program really works yeah because like dude even as much as i know about the program and the book i wrote and the success i mean bro it's the most popular fitness mental toughness

training program ever like ever ever ever in history of earth. There's a reason for it too. It's not because I go promote it. You guys don't see me promoting this shit everywhere, running ads all over the fucking planet. It's because it works. That's why I give it away for fucking free. And if you're interested in it, you can go to episode 208 and listen to the whole program, get it for free. There's also a book available on my website. It's not necessary, but if you want to know the inner workings of the entire program, if you're that kind of person who needs to know everything like I am, it's a great book to read. But like I remember I told her, I said, dude, we're going to find out how well this works. And here we are 23 days, bro, like 23 fucking days later.

Okay. And I am easily, easily in the best mental state that I've been in since I was injured in September of 21. Like not even questionable. In 23 days. In 23 fucking days. And that's what you can do when you actually fucking just go all in on something. You know what I mean? Like, bro, I've been perfect on this program. I've read every bit of the reading. I've drank every ounce of the water. I've hit every fucking workout. I've hit every workout with intensity. I've hit every cardio session.

I've got every picture. Like, bro, it is, I'm talking about, and there's only one way to do it, which is that way. That way, yeah. But I was able to do it with the proper intent because I'm not injured anymore the way I was. Now, am I 100%? No, I'm not. but I'm to a place where I can hit it pretty hard. And just the mental improvement that I've made in the last 23 days in terms of how I felt then

and how I feel now, it blows my fucking mind because it's so drastic. Like it's so fucking drastic. And like, for those of you guys who are out there struggling who are like you can't find your groove you can't figure out what the fuck is missing you can't figure out how to get your life back on track i cannot recommend this program enough and it is fucking free i'm not asking you to buy anything but listen to episode 208 if you're in this place of despair if you're in this place of frustration if you're in this place of anger low self-esteem low belief low confidence okay and you're frustrated with everything that you got going on this is the shit that will get you on track i fucking promise you yeah i fucking promise you if you do the things the way they are dictated out i'm not talking

about making your own program i'm not talking about your out. I'm not talking about making your own program. I'm not talking about your 75 hard. I'm not talking about making a version of 75 hard. It's funny how so many people think they can edit the program up and can't draw the conclusion in their brain that the reason their entire life fucking sucks is because they take every single thing that is exceptionally hard and try to adjust it to them they believe that they can adjust the circumstances of the world to suit them which is ultimately and this is a bigger discussion the problem with the entire culture especially in this country right now some things are just going to be fucking hard some things you're going to have to push through you don't get to change all the things that you want to change and make all the stars align in this place

where everything is going to be perfect before you get to achieve. That is not how the fuck it works. And so if you are one of these people who is just looking for a fucking out from where you feel in that place of misery and hopelessness and low self-esteem, low confidence, and you're looking to figure out what the fuck you are and who you are, do this fucking program. Do the entire fucking Live Hard program for one fucking year, and then tell me about how much it changed your life, bro. Don't go fucking half-ass it. I'm saying go all the fucking. You motherfuckers could change your whole life, the whole trajectory of your life, the whole trajectory of your fucking families and your friends' life by just committing

to one year. And I'm not asking you to do one year continuously. Right. I'm asking you to do 75 days and then three 30-day phases. It isn't even half the fucking year. Okay? Go all in and look at what your life looks like a year from now i promise you it will be unrecognizable so we were just talking about

it this morning actually like because we were talking about we have this guy that we you know you and i know and every time we see him he just looks fucking miserable right we were talking about that i said dude could you imagine waking up having that type of outlook on life and then you you added in you was like yeah but imagine waking up having that mentality and not doing anything about it that's what most people do and i think like for me so you know i just finished uh phase one yesterday was my last day and i think for me personally the craziest thing about live hard is just how it changes your outlook on life like just how you look at fucking everything right and quick example i know we gotta get into q a no we don't but whatever the fuck we want that's true yeah uh this was maybe what like two weeks ago

maybe two weeks ago um we had uh we had to record right and i was getting my workout in because here's a here's a beautiful thing you learn that there is so much more in your fucking control right it's how you choose to look at it right and so i was getting my workout in i was hitting legs and i think we like i will record at 12 or at one o'clock or something like that right we had to set and then uh i was like 30 minutes into my workout okay yeah and we got the text like all right you know autobots roll out we gotta record right i'm like, fuck. Got 10 minutes. I had 10 minutes left.

Right. And there was like, like literally maybe two seconds in my mind. I started like to fucking bitch and complain. I'm like, fuck, I'm gonna have to do this workout all over. But then, but then it fucking clicked. Like, no, DJ, this is a fucking great opportunity for you to fucking kick ass again. So you're going to go fucking record, have the best fucking show. Going to get you out there, work out and you're going to do kick ass again. So you're going to go fucking record, have the best fucking show, going to get your outdoor workout in,

and you're going to do another fucking workout. Like, it's just how you choose to look at this shit. Like, without this program, bro, I would have fucking probably just quit it there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think one of the biggest benefits of the program, and anybody who's actually done it the right way will tell you this.

I mean, it's universal. And you've heard them, anybody who's come on the show tells you this. It makes you completely aware of those two voices that we talk about in the book, your bitch voice and your boss voice. And like, bro, I had a moment last night that actually fucking like, this is just a small example of how it started. You start to become so hyper aware of the conversation that's happening yes yeah like last night so i was getting in bed and like normally when i get in bed like i take all my

clothes off right and i throw them on over on the side of the bed and like like that's what i do piss off everybody a little bit no and then i when i wake up in the morning to go to the fucking shower i scoop them up take take them in. Okay. But last night, and this is just a small example. Last night, I did that and I saw the clothes on the floor and I'm like, fuck. I got the fuck back up out of bed. I scooped the shit up. I took it in at that night.

Okay. And all it was, was me recognizing an opportunity for me to get better. Okay. Just that small little opportunity but it actually when you get into the depths of 75 heart and the mental conversation and you become so aware of of it to the point where you you can't look at things that are fucked up and not do something about it. Now you start to realize how it impacts everything that you do. Right. Absolutely. So like, you know, it's just good. It's just, I don't know. I feel good because, you know, sometimes dude, like in business and life, especially as an entrepreneur creator, you know, you create things that, you know, are like pretty good, but you're not sure how good they are.

And I guess because of the hard year that I had, I had a, you know, I had gotten so far out of the realm of where I was before that I actually started to like question my own shit. And just like, it just feels good that I'm 23 days in and I'm literally like, I, you know, I just went through the most horrific withdrawals ever from coming off lexa pro i've been on for 11 years uh over you know august september part of october basically and still a little bit now but just to like see how quickly i've come back online in 23 days bro like it gets me fucking excited and that's not even talking about like the changes i made in my body like i'm down right like i'm i'm gonna be fucking zeus at the end of

this motherfucker you know what i'm saying yeah so like it's just such a good feeling to know that like this program really fucking works and it really fucking changes people and um i'm just kind of riding the momentum of that you know what i mean it's exciting like when i get up in the morning like i'm getting up earlier because i'm excited to go fuck and get my shit done you know um and that's the other thing too bro like people don't realize how much time yeah they actually have like bro listen and this is not a dig any any of you guys. There might be some busy people that listen, but none of you are busier than me. Okay?

Now, I'm not saying I'm busier than you, but I'm that busy. I'm at max level fucking handle shit. And if I'm being honest and I'm being fair, most people out there listening, if you came and worked with me for one day, you'd fucking go home the next day. You wouldn't come back. Okay? It's fucking high pressure. It's high stress. It's high responsibility all the fucking time. And just your ability to handle the day-to-day stresses of like being a winner and going out and trying to do shit, you know, cause if you're sitting on the couch,

watch fucking Netflix and you go through 75 hard, it's, it's, it's easier because you don't have all the rest of the shit. And what ends up happening is people realize, holy shit, I've been wasting all my life and they become more productive. But if you're already a high producing individual and you do it, it's almost counterintuitive because those people would be like, I don't got time for that. But the reality is you don't have time not to do it because it makes you so much fucking better at everything that you do. And you consistently move forward in all your personal development day by day by day that you catch this momentum and this power.

And a lot of it too comes from reading. The reading part is just as important as the workouts. People don't realize how much energy and how much drive and how much brain power is cultivated by simply being a diligent, dedicated reader. Like when I'm reading and I'm reading books on personal development and getting better, dude, my creativity is 1000 times better. My ability to come in and find solutions to tough problems is way better. Like's better so i don't know man like i'm just i'm just fucking happy that i'm here i'm happy that i'm that i've gotten back to this place where i need to be mentally i feel about as good as i felt in the last couple years

and i'm only 23 days in and i'm i'm fucking excited to like be rocking it out fuck yeah bro you know what i'm saying i just told somebody that in my DMS, I was just having this conversation. Cause they're like, man, I want to be 75 hard, but I got kids. I said,

you don't do your kids. You have more time with your kids. I said, do your kids not deserve the best version of you? Like, do they not, are they not worth that? You know what I'm saying?

Like Ryan's going to like, bro, Ryan don't even know what the fuck is coming to her. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not even there yet. Yeah. Like, like like i don't know i think i think it's awesome like here's the thing i like if you if you think your life looks like shit right now it's okay yeah

it's fine yeah it's a fucking work yeah that's it that is it so and it can be it can be turned around in a very short relative amount of time than you think bro i'm a hundred percent convinced and obviously this is my program that i wrote and all that shit uh might be a little biased listen i'm not biased though because the results speak for itself bro yeah the motherfuckers got billions of fucking hashtags across the fucking internet okay so you have people of all over the fucking world doing this. Yeah. All right.

And the reason that it hasn't burned out as some sort of fad is because it fucking works and you can always go back to it. Yeah. And that's what's so exciting to me about it. Like, bro, it really is. It really fucking is a true solution to getting yourself out of a fucking bad space and back on track and showing you what you're actually capable of. I don't know, man. I'm excited. I'm excited for you, bro. Yeah. I got some good ones for you. I know you do. Let's get into these questions. Andy, question number one. Let's come right off of that conversation, actually. So you have grown leaps and bounds with your health transformation over the years. And you always talk about how you are, by tradition, a fat kid and how you use to resist the cravings for the, uh,

your junk, your favorite junk food, uh, fries, pizza, whatever it is. Um, do you still crave those types of food? Um, or, you know, has, you know, live hard, 75 hard. Has that stuff just been afterthoughts for you now? 100% afterthoughts. I don't have like, dude, look, I was actually just having this conversation the other day. It's fucking fucking insane so for me to look back and think about how i used to approach food like what used to happen to me would be like i'd be on a program right i'd be on a diet i said i'm gonna fucking start and be monday right yeah by wednesday i'm justifying why i deserve some sort of cheat meal okay and then what i end up doing is you know i would have a craving or i would have a um like bro you gotta understand i couldn't go fucking a full week without cheating up until started 75 hard there

was only one time ever that i went more than six days ever without cheating. Without some type of cheat day. Yeah. I think the cheat day, cheat meal shit is the biggest fucking bullshit fucking thing that anybody has ever fucking done to dieting. And people will argue that. They get really pissed off because they love their fucking cheat meals. But the truth is that if you're addicted to fucking food, five or six days is not a long enough time for you to

get over that addiction. So what happens is people go five or six days, they have a fucking cheat meal, and all of a sudden they're back in the zone. And the next day, and any of you that fucking cheat on your diets, you all know that the very next day after the cheat meal is the hardest fucking day to stick to your diet. So I used to have these agonizing like hours long battles in my mind about whether or not i should cheat or not cheat or what i should get to eat or not and most of the time i lost those battles most of the time i ended up ordering a pizza and i figured out how to justify it because the truth is we all know the shit that we need to hear to get us to make the wrong decision yeah we are the best bad influence to ourselves yep say the right words yeah correct

so like i i would all and always and by the way every time i gave in what happened i felt like shit about myself afterwards it drove my self-esteem, my confidence, my belief, all of those things that are important into the shitter because I knew, even though I justified it, that it was wrong. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't fucking help it. And what really got me over it was the long-term abstinence from the program of Live Hard, 75 Hard program that it makes you go through and so the first time i did 75 hard like and i got to like eight days without a cheat meal i can remember because we had a text group going with a bunch of guys at work that were doing it as well

and i was like fuck dude i feel good i can't believe like it was like this big mental block of getting past that that first weekend right but Right. But once I got past it, I gained the confidence that it was no big deal. Right. And I kept going and I forced myself through that first program. The first time I ever did it. And the truth of the matter is, is we as humans have a hard time understanding what we're capable of until we actually do it. Right. So a lot of people who look at 75 hard, they're like, I fucking can't go 75 days without drinking. I can't go 75 days without a fucking cheat meal or candy or whatever, whatever it is they like. And the truth of the matter is you can't because you're telling yourself you can't.

And you've been doing this habitual behavior your whole entire life. And the purpose of that 75 day stretch is to actually rewire your brain to a point where it's no longer thinking the same way as it did before. So when you talk about cravings, like, yeah, I still like fucking French fries. Yeah. I still like pizza. Yeah. I still like those things, but I also have removed myself from those things having control over me and created a scenario where now I have control over that. And that's powerful shit because most of the things that you fail at in life are things that you give your power to as opposed to reserving the power for yourself and making a decision.

So like I was the person who could not go more than a week without cheat. I really couldn't go three days. I would have to have a cheat meal on Wednesday night is what I always, how I always fucking justified. And then I would have only one meal on Sunday. And that was kind of like, that was kind of like a full day of cheating. So it was actually the same thing. Right. Right. All right. So like, that's the story I would tell myself well i'll work extra hard tomorrow correct so like i would justify all these things but the reality is dude how weak of a person are you that an inanimate object a beer a fucking meal a fucking pizza that this thing that some other person made or manufactured has power over me. I'm not willing to accept that. I'm not willing to believe that that's true.

And so what happened for me and what happens for people that actually do the program the proper way is they start to see it that way too. You almost take an adversarial relationship towards these things. And people say, well, that's not healthy, blah, blah, blah. Oh, well, it's a hell of a lot healthier than consuming shit that makes you fucking addicted to it 24 hours a day and being a fat fuck. All right. So I don't want to hear about healthy relationships with food. An unhealthy relationship with food is someone who has no power or no ability to say no to whatever the fuck is put in front of their face. That's how I was. Okay. So now once I switched my mentality and I practice the first time I went through, it was the big time. That was the time where a lot

of shit really got rewired. And the way that I forced myself through it was by like, I have to finish this no matter what. And I tied tremendous value. Like I said, dude, cause I was doing it in the public the first time I did it. Like the first time 75 hard was accomplished. I did it in front of the whole fucking world. So like, I didn't like, I wasn't doing it quietly. So I knew that if I fucking failed, that was it.

That was it for me, bro. So there was no fucking option. Like there was no, I was fucking finishing no matter what. And and by going through that program i was able to separate my feelings and my understanding about these outside circumstances the alcohol the food the pizza the french fries the shit that i fucking love and i start and then like you know it became easy to say no like now i look at it and i'm like fuck you like i don't have fucking doing that yeah and honestly it's gotten so far for me like because i understand you also have to understand in the last four years i've gotten immensely more successful in

all areas of my life there's a direct correlation yes so so now when i look at fuck when i look at a bucket of beer in 2018 i'm like like, bro, fucking ice bucket of beer. Let's fucking get it. Right. And we're sitting at a table drinking beer. I'm fucking justifying. Now when I, and this is going to sound ignorant, but it is what the fuck it is. Now when I go to a restaurant and I order my healthy food and I look at motherfuckers that are fat as shit over there drinking a beer, I'm like, those are fucking peasants.

They're weak motherfuckers. That's how I look at it. And I do them and that's reality yeah okay so i look at these things now i understand they're in a different place than me and i understand that they're no i'm no better than them because i used to be the same doing it for you but what i how i look at it is that that's what peasants fucking do that's what fucking losers do that's what peasants fucking do. That's what fucking losers do. That's what weak people do. And I've told myself that story in my head so much that like, bro, while I still may enjoy a couple of drinks a year, they're drinks that I enjoy on my terms. I'm making the, you've been around me when I drink. I fucking say I'm drinking today. There's no guilt. There's no fucking

feeling bad. It just is what the fuck it is because I've earned that. And I've now positioned myself properly to where I'm in control and not these things. And this is what the fuck it is because i've earned that and i've now positioned myself properly to where i'm in control and not these things and this is what the program will really help you sort through so um i don't i hope that answers the question 100 it is a war is how you're looking yeah it's it's a fucking war you gotta be conscious of yeah and and like dude when you start to recognize like for me bro like i struggle with alcohol okay like like dude i i was a guy who i like if you go back and listen to msco project the original you'll hear me talk about drinking whiskey and you'll fucking hear me talk like real

loose like bro shit and like but i was the guy that fucking when i i got drinks with me bro i wasn't the same dude you know i'm saying i'm fucked up shit. I'm not being a good dude. I'm fucking being, I'm, I'm being fucking too wild. I'm getting too out there. And that was the alcohol, bro. And you know, when I started to recognize the shit, bro, I'm like, no, fuck that. That makes me fucking weak. It makes me somebody I don't want to be.

I'm not going to be that fucking person. And that's why I fucking haven't had whiskey since fucking 2018. Yeah. When, when, when, when, if you go back and listen to my old shows, I fucking love whiskey. I fucking haven't had whiskey since fucking 2018. Yeah. When, when, when, when, if you go back and listen to my old shows, I fucking love whiskey. I fucking still love whiskey, but I don't drink whiskey because I know what the fuck it's about.

It makes me weak. Yeah. Okay. Superman don't fucking have kryptonite cocktail. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right. So like I've recognized these things that are damaging to me,

food, social situations, whiskey. Okay. Now, now when I drink, I drink beer. Right. Right. I could drink 30 fucking beers and be a normal human. It's just reality.

Yeah. It's weird how that works, man. It is. Yeah. But that's still only what, three, four times a year, maybe. It may be. Yeah. So I, you know, it's a process and i don't expect everybody who's in that first

place where i was where like that all that shit i couldn't say no to to understand what i'm saying but what i will tell you is that there is a fucking way out there is a solution to this and you can become that that motherfucker that you look at and admire for their ability to not do these things. Like, bro, because I've been in the fitness space forever. And I always admired these people and was sometimes very jealous of these people who had the ability to stay on a program or a diet. Like, people who would be able to go out to eat at a restaurant and they'd order healthy food. Like, I never fucking made sense to me. Right.

Like, I couldn't fucking get it. Because, like, dude, I had zero control, bro. Like if I went, like, like if you and I went to twist the tree fucking four years ago, bro, I'm ordering four different appetizers, fucking all the bad ones. You know what I'm saying? Like, I can't help it. I couldn't help it. That's how I fucking grew up, dude. And that's what I was accustomed to. And so um, the overall mental change that happens and anybody who's been following me for the last four years can fucking see it yeah right um i even saw some people on youtube comment like i guess you hadn't seen me in a few years and you're like oh it looks like andy finally got in shape good for him yeah i started in 2015 i

lost i lost 110 pounds in 2016. yeah so i don't know where the you been but i've been jacked for a while now but anyway no that's real man yeah and by the way there's nothing cooler than walking around looking like a physical specimen bro and feeling good about yourself and knowing that nobody can with you yeah there's not a person person in this world who fucking come set something in front of me that is tempting that i'll fuck that i can't easily say no that's not what i'm doing yeah and that's ultimate confidence that's the goal of this program so um so yeah man love it yeah uh that was question number one i think that's an important that last question bro super important to people who struggle with food like you guys who struck because like dude it used to drive my self-worth

into the shitter yeah that i could not control my fucking i i couldn't control what i put my mouth bro you know i'm saying like like imagine imagine how shitty you feel when all you want is to not be a fat fuck, but you cannot control putting the shit in your fucking mouth. Like, bro, it's a, it's a hopeless feeling. And it's very important to me, you know, and we joke around a lot on the show, but it's very important for me, for you guys who feel that way. Cause I know there's a lot of you out there to realize that that is not something that you can't work yourself out of. You're not just genetics. It's not just you grow up in a fat family. That's not what this is.

This is that you have been taught your whole entire life that discipline, grit, fortitude, confidence are traits that people have or do not have. And you've never considered the fact that maybe you just haven't developed these things because they're actually skills, not traits. So if you're out there and you're hopeless and you're struggling like I was, understand that these are skills that you just haven't built yet and you can build them. So it's very close to my heart for people to understand. 100% right there. Andy, question number two. Andy, I started my business a little over four years ago and went days without seeing customers for the first three years. So naturally, I developed the make a friend, make a sale strategy. The business has grown, but now I'm

spending so much time working on the business that I don't have time to chat with 20 people a day like I used to. I care about these people and I want to chat with them, but my mind is always in a different place when I do. And I'm struggling to really connect with these people. Have you struggled with this? And if so, how do you overcome it? Well, yeah, dude. I mean, of course, it's only going to get harder the bigger you get. You know, like you're going to get to a point in your business where you don't even know everybody that works in your building.

So like, it's very, very difficult, especially as you get bigger. And I could totally understand what you're saying, but also here's what I will remind you of. How did you go from that business who struggled for the first three years to the business that now you're so busy, you don't have time to do this shit. How'd you do that? Oh, well, you said it in your question. You said you adopted the make a friend, make a sale mentality. So how you should think about this is now it's not that you don't have time. It's that you don't have time for the other shit. Okay. If you want your business to continue to grow. So you're going to have to do the best that you can. And you're also going to have to teach the people around you to do the best that they can. That way, when someone can't get immediate

access to you, they can now deal with someone in your organization that makes them feel the same way, valued. And you should value them because they are your fucking business. And as you get bigger, I'll just tell you, this is human nature. I run into this quite often. I can't give the same energy that I was able to give 10 years ago or five years ago. It's not realistic. And you're going to have people that think that you're a literal piece of shit. And they're going to say to you, they're going to say about you, oh, he's gotten too big or he's got, now he thinks he's too cool or this or that or this. When in reality, bro, it's a very selfish thing for them to be like, because I've given them everything I could fucking give them. And now they're not recognizing that,

look, like I'm actually just doing the best that I can. It's like drinking from a fucking fire hose. Right. You know, and what's funny is I'm the kind of person where like, you don't, I don't have to talk to people every day. I actually think this is a trait of actual winners versus losers. I think busy people understand busy people and people who are actually doing things in real life and ambitious, they are low maintenance friends. They are people that you don't have to have a conversation with every fucking day or every week or every six months. And you can call them and pick up right where the fuck you left off. Every big winner that I know operates that way.

And every person I know that operates the other way, where when you don't talk to them for 30 days, they get the fucking feelings hurt and they start saying passive aggressive bullshit, pussy shit. Yeah. Okay. And then, you know, if it goes six months now, they just hate you and they unfollow you and you're a fucking piece of shit. Those are the fucking losers that aren't doing shit.

So recognize when these people come at you, when you've given them your best, that there's nothing that you can do for them because you've given them your best. So continue to give your best to every single person you can, even if it's not the same amount that you were able to give five years ago or four years ago or 10 years ago um and continue to run the play the right people will understand that yeah my friends all my friends that i want to be friends with the people that i want to surround myself with i might not talk to them for i might talk bro i don't i don't i might not talk to ed my let for fucking weeks yeah i might not talk to ed my let for fucking weeks yeah i might not talk to ed my let and only see him on our fucking rta calls like but like there's we're not like mad at each other like i'm not questioning my friendship with them i understand ed has his life he understands that i have my life same thing with honey honey's one of my best friends in the

world i don't fucking talk to honey every single day. Now I talk to honey a lot, but you know, that's not, there's not, if it, if it goes two weeks or it goes a month, it's not, Hey, you know, what the fuck? Right. You know what I'm saying? Like that it's just a, there's a, there's a distinct difference between how winners can handle that and how losers can't handle that. And so like my advice to you as you grow and you start to have people that are going to like, say you're too good for them or this or that, when you've actually given them everything you fucking give for them and you've done everything you can for them,

it's just to understand that those people are going to be that way with every single person in their life. And their, their existence is miserable. They take everything personal. There's actually a book about this called the four agreements. You can read it. And it talks about not taking shit personal.

Yeah. So like, if you listen to my show and we used to talk on the phone and you think I feel some sort of way because we don't talk anymore. If you fucking call me and got me on the phone, it would be the same shit. Right. Like I'm,

I'm still the same dude. I'm just running my fucking life. And, and winners understand that. And people who don't have shit going on don't. Yeah. It's like what's understood doesn't need to be explained. Not with people who are doing stuff.

Yeah, that's right. Because they're all fucking busy. Yeah. You know, busy people understand busy people. And like they don't take it personal. But to get back to the question that this person's asking, you got to do the best you can, bro. Because if you start thinking that you can just delegate that magic of you being present and talking to people making friends you're fucking wrong my whole part the most valuable part of what i do these days is that it's networking with the

with the right people it's making sure that i give people attention that i need to give people that need my attention uh it's pouring into these people here and all of that is energy that you have to figure out a way to put out the best that you can. And you can't be thinking about your phone or what's going on at home or what's going on, uh, over here when you're actually present. And so like being able to mentally focus and be present for people will actually make you feel like you have a lot more time than you do because you'll be able to, with high focus, put a lot more into somebody or into a relationship in a shorter amount of time when you're not distracted.

So by not being distracted and actually focusing, you can actually spend less time and get the same value with people. And that's important because you are going to have less spend less time and get the same value with people and and that's important because you're going to have less and less time argue more value yeah that's probably the reason we stopped doing doing pitches you know for for big events and stuff like you'd rather go talk to these people whether it's yeah like that's the thing yeah like i won't do selfies with people so like when i go to like like if you guys come to summer smash or i go to an event or i go to like arte event or i'm speaking somewhere or whatever and you come up and ask me for a selfie the answer is no yeah and it's not because i want to be rude it's because i will talk to you right but i'm not

your like i'm not here for clout bro right like i'm here to change motherfuckers lives and so like i would rather spend two minutes shaking your hand, hearing your story than you coming up and saying, Hey man, can I get a selfie? And then bolt knock. Yeah. Right. Never see you again. Didn't get your name. Yeah.

And, and, and dude, that's, you know, that was a decision I made a couple of years ago. And at first people get offended by it. They're like, what do you mean? No. Yeah. But like the reality is, is I don't believe in that. I believe that that's totally eroded our culture. I think that the selfie culture of like fame and clout is,

is, is total has totally ruined actual connection and story, story sharing human experience. Yeah. And it's important. Yeah. Like it's important for me to hear your story. When,

when I get to meet you and shake your hand, I want to hear your fucking story. I want to know why the fuck you're here. You know, you have a chance to ask me something, ask me something. That's a lot more valuable than a fucking selfie, bro. Yeah, that's real. Just one more follow-up on this

because you talk about, you know, making sure that your team understands, the people around you understand how to take that serious. Now, you've also talked about too, there's a diminishing return when it comes to handing off the skills to the people, you know, directly right below you, right?

So how would you recommend handling that diminishing return? Is that something you're driving home? How often do you need to remind them of that? Well, okay. It's not reminding. Listen, when you can make a person understand why they're supposed to do things this way, they're much more likely to do the thing that you're wanting them to do. So when you're trying to, like, for example, a lot of people like to talk about how clean our gym is and how clean our facility is here and how all the details, like if you come in our bathroom here at First Form, the bathroom will look like it's never been used. There won't even be water in the fucking sink. There won't be water droplets in the sink like you there's there's i am very very confident there's

not a cleaner more well-organized facility on the fucking planet anywhere of any sort and you guys have heard this on the show every single guest that comes in here for the first time it's what they say that when they first start talking about it people don't understand how we do that they think we have like a crew that runs around and just cleans everything because that's what they would do. The overnight cleanup crew. Yeah. But see how this started? It started at our old building because we did have a clean crew and I fired them. And everybody in the office got pissed off when I fired them. And the reason I fired them was because I realized that because everybody thought that these people were going to handle it, they were not taking care of our shit.

So I fired him and I said, no, motherfucker, we're going to fucking do it. And I started working on standards. And the way that I got these people to hold standards and the way that I get people to do the logos in the gym straight up and line everything and do all this shit isn't by like saying you better fucking do that yeah the way it's done is i help people understand that when they practice discipline it makes a deposit into their account in their own standards so when they take the time to wipe the water out of the sink or straighten the logo on the weights and make it perfect. They're actually making an investment in their own discipline, much like you would see in a video game. Speed, 99. Strength, 99. Discipline, 80. Okay, we got to get that discipline up. Well, how do we get the discipline up? We got to get the discipline up by doing things that require

discipline. And so I've made it our culture that most of the people especially the ones that have been here for a minute they all understand this yeah they all understand that when they see something on the floor a little speck of paper they don't pick it up because they're going to yell that right they pick it up because it's an opportunity for them to improve okay so when you teach people the why behind the idea of how to communicate with, you know, the make a friend, make a sale mentality that this man's talking about, they're much more likely to do it. and how that's going to benefit their career moving forward. But most important part is how it's going to benefit the actual recipient of the effort that you put in. Because when you make their lives better, they return that with spending money with you in many different ways.

Recommending you, telling stories about you. So you just have to make them understand why at scale. And once you get, you know, buy-in from a certain percentage of your team and they do this, everybody else will start to, to, to follow suit. Guys, Andy, our third and final question. Um, kind of building off of that, man. Um, as, as a business owner, it is my duty, uh, or even my place to help my team develop their own mental toughness. This is building right off that last question. Personal excellence, et cetera. Is it my place to do that or is it something that should be done on their own? I know I could teach them all the skills that I've learned from listening to you and others, but I'm not sure if that's something that they should

discover themselves or that I should be requiring as a condition of employment. How do you look at that? Requiring what? That you be mentally tough? And personally excellent, disciplined, all those things. I would require that as a standard of your fucking company. Okay, first of all. Second of all, any employee out there should understand that your development is going to become much stronger and much better when you are actually, you are going to have to invest your own personal time. I'm not paying you to get better, bro. That's on you. I'm paying you to do a fucking job. Now, if you want to go from this job to the next job to the next job

and advance your career, that means that you are going to have to take your personal time and improve your fucking skillset. And so one of the best ways that you can do this in your organization is by promoting and talking about and pointing to the people who actually have these qualities. And when everybody else sees them moving up the chain and you make it a point to make them understand why, they will start to emulate that. They will realize, okay, well, I have to put in the same work. I have to put in the same work i have to put in the same effort i have to get myself mentally conditioned i have to build discipline in myself i have to do these things because if you're recognizing this person over here for doing those things and they're moving up and they're making more money and they're making a better

life and they're doing all these amazing things the other people are going to see that as okay well that's what i need to do and so you're showing them through who you're rewarding how to follow suit and and get in line with that yeah does that make sense 100 it's like my dude my coach used to tell me like man if you think you're going to come to practice which is let's say you know two hours a day right you're new that five days a week and you'll be a fucking champion that's 10 hours of fucking work in one week you think it'll be the best on friday it's not happening right so it's the same like i like it's off the field mentality so how do you listen man if you're not willing to put in the work at

your home on your own bro you're you're fucking done yeah you're already done yeah like you just and this is the thing you can argue with me all you want i don't give a fuck i'm just telling you the way it is like you will not win and what will happen is and you should listen with me all you want. I don't give a fuck. I'm just telling you the way it is. Like you will not win. And what will happen is, and you should listen to me. Okay. Is that you're going to get to a certain point in your life and you're going to say, fuck, Andy was right. And you're not going to get that time back, bro. Okay. I didn't miss on fucking anything. I haven't missed on a motherfucking thing. I'm just telling you the way that it is. You have to make it a priority of personal development in your own time. You have to become a student of winning. You have to understand winning.

You have to become obsessed with winning because there's other people out there that you are competing with in your field that are. And if you're not, you will fucking lose. And this is the difference between people who are lifetime winners and people who just have jobs. That's the difference. And not everybody's going to be a lifetime winner. That's not the reality.

But you can be. Anybody listening here can be. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. Absolutely. It's a requirement, dude. It's not a fucking option. If you're not reading

you're not putting good shit in your brain you're not improving your skill set you're not practicing what it is you do to get better there are other people out there that are that are going to get the place that you think you're entitled to by just breathing the motherfucking air so it's a requirement bro it's not's not optional. Love it. Well, guys, that's three. Don't pay the fee. Yeah. Don't be a hoe.

Shit show. Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl. Fuck a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch. Booty swole.

Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Dusted. No. Head shot. Case closed.