REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 451. Q&AF: Traditional Retirement, Reigniting Initiative & Public Speaking

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what he thinks about traditional retirement, how to reignite the initiative in your employees after you notice their drive diminish, and how to improve your public speaking ability.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest sake of out of the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. That is where you submit the questions and I give you the answers. Now, you can submit those questions two different ways. The first way is you can submit them to... Guys, email those to askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or if you're watching this on YouTube,

you could drop them right here in the comments underneath this video and we will procure them from there. It's the word choice. Yeah. Anyway, if this is your first time listening, we have multiple shows. You're listening to Q and AF. We also have CTI, which is Cruise the Internet. This is a current event show.

We throw up three headlines on the screen. We talk about what's true, what may not be true. We take our best guess as to what's actually going on and we make fun of the people heavily that buy into the mainstream narrative. Then we have real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of real talk. It's just me giving you some things that I think need to be heard. And I'm going to be doing more and more of these as we progress into the new year. And then we have full length. Full length is just like what you see on every other podcast where there's two people or three people sitting around having a conversation. So that's the gist of the show. For those of you that don't know,

this show is the evolvement of an original show called the MFCEO Project. Now the MFCEO Project was the number one business podcast on iTunes for the longest uninterrupted stretch ever that I'm aware of in the history of podcasts. So we were pretty good at it. And a lot of the information that I give out to you on these Q&AF shows comes from the MFCEO Project. And this is personal development. This is how to win. It's how to get better, how to build a business, how to become successful, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And for the exchange of me trading this part of my knowledge that I've gained over many, many years, I ask that you do one simple thing for me. And that's this. If the show makes you

laugh, if it makes you think, if it gives you a new perspective, if it teaches you some skills, gives you a new idea on how to get better, please share the show. Okay. That's what we work on here. So when I say pay the fee, that's the fee. The fee is not monetary. I also don't take ad money from people to sit on the show here and talk about a bunch of shit that I don't use and bore you with it. And I also don't want to answer those people. So in exchange for all of that, just share the show guys. That's it, man.

We, we grow when you share the show and that's it. Um, so with that being said, let's get on with it. Yeah. What's going on? What's going on,

man? Happy new year. Yeah. Happy new year, bro. A couple of days in, not too bad. How was it?

How was your weekend? It was good. Well, I mean, it was good, but it was more probably more good for you you got some news oh yeah i'm black yeah man baby number two man yeah congrats bro thank you man that's awesome i'll be honest like

it was kind of hard to i really wanted a boy yeah so you're gonna throw this girl in the trash i mean another country fuck with you man like i'm just saying man like you know but it's cool it's like i mean i don't know how to compare it to like you know raising a boy but no girls are not not terrible man i just come on man yeah it's pretty awesome yeah that's cool yeah that's cool congrats thank you man i appreciate it that's really cool man yeah and then i go to go see the vet next week. Cause I got my, uh, I'm getting neutered. Oh, you're here. Fuck.

Yeah. Bro. I'm done. Are you really doing that? Fuck. Yeah. Really? Hell yeah.

I said, I don't know. Should we YouTube that? That should be like a YouTube video. DJ gets snipped. You need a really big camera. I know that. Wide lens. You know what I'm saying?

A lot less big than it used to be though when you were 350 so you started 75 hard today 75 hard today when we're recording the show is on monday yeah day one 75 hard going well and uh yeah everything's good man now why are you stacking up like you just finished 75 hard in phase one. Why did you decide to start again? Because I'm not a little bitch. Well, I think the proper answer is you want to continue to get better. Right. Yeah, 100%. I mean, that's you.

I'm trying to actually teach people shit. Sorry. No, I mean, because there's the 30-day break between phase one and phase two. But that's the 30-day break between phase one and phase two. But that's the 30-day break between phase one and phase two. There's nothing that says you can't do 75 hard again. Well, look, dude, it doesn't count. I think the good plan for you would be to start here and move through Live Hard from here.

Yeah. And don't worry about the one you did before. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's real. So we'll just start here. We'll go from here. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah, I'm real. So we'll just start here. We'll go from here.

Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited for it. I think it would be pretty awesome. I know there's a lot of shit ton of people out there that are starting also right now. So that's going to be pretty cool. Seems to be the case. Yeah. I really hope that people will stick it out because it will change their entire lives. Yeah.

Well, I mean, bro, that could be the ripple effect that changes some shit. You know what I'm saying? You got hundreds of thousands of people changing their lives for the better. Personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. It's a pretty big fucking ripple effect. So I'm excited for it. What we got today, bro? Got some good ones.

Got some good ones for you, man. All right, good. As always, let's talk these out. Andy, question these out. Uh, Andy question. Number one, um, a couple of shows ago, you talked about always needing to move forward and how it, uh, and how important it is to continually improve yourself. My question is, uh, what's your thought and what's your thoughts and what do you think about the traditional idea of retirement? Uh, the closer I get to it, the less appealing it is. What are your thoughts on the current traditional retirement mindset? You know, I think that most people are fed the idea

of retirement as a carrot to stick it through. And, you know, when people think of retiring, I often hear this from young entrepreneurs. I want to retire by the time I'm 40. Well, you know how I know you're not a real entrepreneur and not a real fucking savage winner? Because those people don't retire. Those people love the game. They love building. They love creating. They love helping. They love business. They love everything about it. They love the process. I'm one of those people. The idea of retiring and doing nothing is I really can't think of anything worse. And when you really consider the fact, I was talking to a friend of mine I hadn't talked to in a while yesterday on actual New Year's Day. And we were talking about how people that are built to build

things and create things, which I think all people are, I think they're indoctrinated to not believe that about themselves. But what I think is, is that, you know, this is why we see very wealthy people, you know, sell their businesses or quote unquote exit and retire. And, um, you know, and then in two or three years they're dead, right. you know, and then in two or three years, they're dead. Right. You know, and whether they kill themselves or they drank themselves to death or, you know, some sort of weird thing. We see this all the time.

And, you know, and then people like to point at it and they say, see, see success. It's, it's lonely at the top, bro. You shouldn't do it. Live like us. Live like us. Be like us. Be poor like us. Be average like us. Because see what happens when you're successful?

And what they're not understanding is that most of those people really didn't understand how valuable the process is and how much joy and fulfillment you get out of the creation process. And so for true winners, true people that are like in the blood entrepreneurs, creators, you can't get out of that. Like if I were to sell, and by the way, I've been approached to sell things many times for enough money to where I would never have to work again, ever, ever, ever. And if I lived for 500 years, I wouldn't have to work like that's that's the truth the thing is is why the fuck would i want that bro like i have look what i have i have

everything i've ever wanted i can do anything i've ever wanted i get to come here i get to be around young hungry energizing people that keep me young keep me motivated keep me moving forward every single day we get to do things that help people change their entire fucking lives. Like if I sold a business and I took myself out of that, what do I actually gain? I don't really gain anything because I already have all the shit I want. Does that make sense? So like, I think a lot of people in business don't really think that part through. They don't think that your entire identity, your entire purpose, your entire reason for existing, you know, in most cases, the things that actually drive you

and create you and keep you young, you're going to take money to give that away. That doesn't make sense to me. Right. You know? And so I think the concept of retirement is more of a story that's told to the worker bees that will get them through the grueling process of the 40 years that they have to put in to get there as if it's some sort of reward. It's never made sense to me, right? Like you're going to wait to live your life until you're 65 years old when you're already old and you don't have the youthful energy, you don't have the ability to do things. I mean, sure, you might have some money, but you're fucking old. You don't got time. And so they trick people into trading all of their time for this end thing called retirement that really ain't that fucking great. And I think people really need to think about this because the goal

of your business the goal of your career is not retirement dude and also you shouldn't be waiting until 65 years old to do the shit that you think you should do and no that doesn't mean that you should just throw your career in the trash and live in a fucking van and travel the fucking world right because people tend to take whatever- That to the extreme. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're like, oh, fuck. No, you need money. So what's the answer?

The answer is to become super fucking effective to where you still have free time on a day-by-day basis to enjoy your life and then to do so. And so I think, you know, for me, the concept of retirement is a false reality dream that people are sold so that they will continue to show up to work for 40 years. And the reality is, dude, it doesn't even work anyway because at the rate that currency inflates, what you save during the course of time by the time you're 65 years old will be worth very little. So you have to basically buy into the idea that you're

going to go at whatever it is that you go at until you're dead. And that doesn't mean a slave. That means you're actually privileged to be able to create your entire life. How much fulfillment would that bring you? Constantly having to reinvent yourself, constantly having to go on a new adventure for your career, constantly being able to try new things, do new things, create new things. These are the exciting things of an entrepreneur's life. And so many people try to exit out of them because they think that's what they're supposed to do. And it ends up ruining them. I've seen it so many times. I have so many people that I know that have sold their business, you know, for 50 million, a hundred million, 500 million. Uh, and you know, bro, you go see them in two years. They bought all the

shit they want to buy. They've gone on the trips they want to go on. They've done all the shit and they're sitting at home fucking miserable because they don't have a purpose. And bro, if you're someone who is driven and you have ambition and you like to create and you like all of these things, what could be worse than taking yourself out of that game? There's no amount of money worth that. So for me, dude, I think most people need to reframe their mindset and remove the idea of the traditional retirement that maybe your parents or grandparents know of that you're just going to be done and you're just going to sit around and start to think of your life in phases. Like, okay, in my

youth, I'm creating this and this is what I'm doing. In my middle life, I'm taking that to the next level. And in my older life, I'm maybe going to hand that off and maybe I'm going to attack some other things, maybe some philanthropy or maybe some new projects that aren't necessarily a business, but instead allow me to do the parts of the business that I like. Like for example, one of the things I'm toying with for my later life would be to start a venture capital fund where I get to actually fund other people's businesses and then use my expertise to help whiteboard them the strategy that they need to use to go execute. Make sure it actually- Yeah. And then I get a piece of it. They get to go do it. We all win. They get funded.

And that's the process of business that I enjoy the most, the creative process. So no view on retirement is wrong, but I think it's important to consider all of the parts of the equation. And the main one being, what are you going to do? What's your purpose going to be? What are you going to do to stay busy? Because otherwise, if you don't do that shit, bro, you're going to be fucking miserable. Okay. Secondly, what are you going to do with your money? Because all the money that you saved until you're 65 years old is now worth way less because of the way that money works. So, and that's what people don't understand. We're consistently being stolen from by the inflation that we see in this country.

It's not just during high inflationary periods, it's during all periods. This is why someone 30 years ago made a million bucks, it was a huge fucking deal. Now it's not as big of a deal. Right. And people still have in their mind that that's the, you know, like if you ask most people, I gave you a million dollars. Like most people are like, fuck dude, I could live my whole life on that. No, you fucking can't. Right. Like people's mindset hasn't changed.

Right. We're still living in 1985 in terms of what the standard is monetarily. And you don't want to be that person when you're 65 years old and they cut off your income or you get a partial income or reduced income. So my suggestion to anybody is to get into something that you enjoy, get into something you're passionate about and do your whole fucking life and make it understood. If you want to take a month break, you know, once a year, fucking figure it out, dude, do that. Go on little mini vacations, mini retirements, things like that. You know, but the traditional idea that you're going to sit at home and do nothing.

I mean, I would be scared of that too. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. People, people's idea of time is, is definitely. Well, people think they're going to live forever, dude. Yeah. People, people, most people have never had the blessing of a near-death

experience that would put a fire under your ass like you've never had before yeah well that or the flip side like people will say like fucking 50s old like you still got you still got like decades to fucking work bro it's it's it's not even really half of your entire productive life yeah you know like if you say your productive life, well, I guess it would be about half. If you say your productive life goes from 20 to 70, roughly, you know, you know, you got 30, 40, 50, 60, 70,

you're like basically a little over halfway of your productive life at 50 years old. Like if you're 50 years old and you're out there listening or watching this show and you want to create a business, you should fucking do that. Like you have plenty of time to do that. Like, and at the rate at which you can create and build a reasonable business now with technology is so fast that by the time you're 55, you could be doing what you want, making a fuck ton of money doing it and live the rest of your life proud as fuck of that you know so like you know age is age is a weird thing for people you know for some reason people get to be a certain age

and they start telling themselves stories that just aren't really true yeah like joe biden well dude i'm 43 okay i'm not fucking young like young i'm in better shape than i've ever been in my life for the most part um definitely way smarter than i've ever been making way more money than i've ever been in my life for the most part um definitely way smarter than i've ever been making way more money than i've ever made uh things are pretty fucking good and i look younger than i now if you take away the gray and shit like reality like my physical body is younger than it was when i was 25 so like why age is just some bullshit thing that people tell you. And I think that, I think they put it in how,

you know, this is my tinfoil hat shit, but I think they tell those stories and introduce those stories strategically to keep people at bay. They don't want a bunch of fucking people that are willing to bust ass for 80 fucking years because dude, that shit puts their fucking position of power in jeopardy because you gain so much momentum and so much wealth and so much power that you can actually affect change so which is interesting because those are also the same people that are also 90 years old still in position of power that's right

why do you think you're trying to hang on to it so hard i mean it's easy to hang on to shit when you convince everybody else not to play the game exactly exactly that's real uh well guys that was question number one andy question number two uh andy i run a small business and i have an employee that i hired from a large uh local company when i first hired her she said that the growth opportunity of working within a smaller growing business was exciting uh she has been with me a little over a year. And as of late, she started to operate like she's still at her old employer, watching the clock, no longer going above and beyond, seeming to just be content to come check in, do her tasks and check out.

The initiative and drive has dramatically diminished. How do I reignite that initiative and growth mindset in my employees? Well, how do you know she ever had it? How do you know she wasn't filling you full of shit? How do you know she wasn't saying what she knew would work? How do you know she wasn't lying to you to get the fucking job? How do you know you didn't make a hiring mistake? How do you know that she ever fucking had it, bro? That would be the first question. Okay. The second question, um, or the second statement I would say is that you, you can't realistically expect, uh, every single human that you have in your company to be some sort of

go the extra mile human being. That's just not reality. Uh, some people are going to do their jobs and they're going to do them well, and then they're going to leave and they're going to go do their other things. There's nothing wrong with that. But those people can't also then on the other hand, bitch about why they're not moving up the ladder or why they're not progressing. And if she's not bitching in your ear about why she's not progressing, then maybe this is just where she wants to be. So we as business owners have this thing that we do where we throw our expectations of ourselves as an owner onto every single employee. And that's not realistic, bro. That's just not reality. Does she have equity in the company? Probably not. Are you paying her

three times her fucking normal position salary or two times her normal salary? She got the old place. Probably not. Are you painting a big picture every single day about where you're taking the company and inspiring her? Probably not. Or are you expecting her to just take the reins and go run and do it for you? I would say that's probably where the problem is. All right. So let's, let's be honest with ourselves about what the problem is. If you don't have employees that perform, it's usually not even money related. problem is. All right. So let's be honest with ourselves about what the problem is. If you don't have employees that perform, it's usually not even money related. It's your lack of leadership and vision and follow through that's making them complacent.

Because if you came and you promised all these massive growth opportunities to her, she left this other position. You didn't follow up on any of those things. And you expected her to come in and sort of drive that bus. You're not fulfilling your end of the bargain, bro. And I would suspect that there's some of that going on here too. You know, she didn't just come in and get complacent. So she was either complacent when you hired her and she tricked you or you're not doing a good enough job leading the company and pushing the company forward to the point where they get super excited about it. There should be no side conversations. You shouldn't have to go

around and put your arm around people to get them excited about what you're doing. It should be so fucking obvious that you're doing some really amazing things that these people get excited to contribute to those things. It's not a manipulation. It's an actual building of something great that excites people and wants them to follow in and be a part of it yeah and i i would bet if this person who asked this question if i sat down and looked at them and followed them around for a year that one of those scenarios is the truth it's like you don't you shouldn't have to create the motivation create the momentum when you be fine listen bro who doesn't want to be a part of a massive fucking badass project where

you're kicking ass doing all this really cool shit? Not many people, most people don't even have the opportunity to be a part of that. Like they're used to working where this person came from, where it is clock in, clock out, get the fuck out of my face. That's reality for most human beings. So when you create something that's so cool and that's going to change things or change an industry or change a niche or change the world, if it's big enough, you're creating something that people naturally want to be a part of.

And if you're not doing that, you know, there's nothing you can do to this woman to get her to fucking go. Okay. And I'm willing to bet, I would bet that what I said about them not leading properly is the, is what's actually going on. Yeah. I would bet that you made big promises that you're not fulfilling and you're refusing to look in the mirror and say,

fuck, I'm not doing what I told this woman I would do. And you know, you're turning around and blaming on her because you expected her to come in and be the superstar. It's going to carry you across the fucking goal line. That's not the way it works. So that's my answer.

My answer is this, uh, get your shit together and then see what she does. That's real. Now, just quick follow up on this. Andy, I want to know,

do you believe, do you believe that there, there's going to be some people that you just, you can't save. There's no motivation. It's not about saving bro it's it's not saving even if you paint the best picture of the best like dude like what we're doing here with first form it's never been done like there is no there is no nike red bull and then gatorade

all combined where you know gatorade but like with effective products right right it works great energy drinks products and fucking apparel that is second to nothing nobody's done that it's never been done so when when i paint the vision for it and i explain to people they're excited to be a part of it bro because we're building something that's never been fucking built ever never been built ever that. That gets people excited. People like that. Okay. And then they see us come here and work our asses off to actually facilitate that creation in real life. So they know it's not just lip service. So we have a lot of people who want to contribute. That's reality, dude. But if you can't paint that vision and you can't

create that lane, you're not going to have that. And most business owners don't do that. Most business owners talk a bunch of shit and then hire people thinking that the hiring, that the people that they hire are going to carry the whole momentum. And they sort of like go in the back and try to pretend like they're still doing their shit, but they're not. And everybody knows they're not. So this is about being authentic. It's about really doing what it is that you say you're going to do. And I wouldn't, what did you say?

What was the word you used? Do you think there's certain people that just can't be saved? Yeah, it's not saving, bro. So if you have people inside, like even me, when I have people who are inside that, and maybe they're not fucking super passionate about continuing to move up right and grow and be a part i'm just letting you know the opportunity is there because i need fucking great people yeah i need i am my biggest resource that i'm lacking is great people even with all the great people that we have because the scale of what we're trying to create is so large so that is people get excited about that yeah you don't need 10 of those and it's real but there's also value

to people bro who like even as good as that is at our company which i you know it's pretty good there's still going to be people here that have other priorities in life that come here and they do their job very fucking well and then they go the fuck home those people are valuable too bro they're just they just can't complain about missing all the opportunities when everybody else is going for right so like maybe that's really what it is yeah yeah you have to you have to know the difference you know what i'm saying like just because the dude cooking your fucking french fries doesn't want to go make the burgers but he's making great french fries maybe just let him make great french fries bro because they're important to your fucking restaurant right you see what i'm saying absolutely love it uh now if that person comes to you and

they say why am i not this why am i not cooking the burgers well motherfucker you don't you don't show the the ambition or the drive or the buy-in to be the guy that i not cooking the burgers? Well, motherfucker, you don't show the ambition or the drive or the buy-in to be the guy that I want cooking the burgers right now. Here's what you're going to have to do. One, two, three, right? And then because sometimes people will sit in your company for three, four, five years before they wake the fuck up and see the opportunity. And then they're like, fuck, why am I getting passed over?

You got to have a difficult conversation. Sometimes it goes really good and they fall in line and they start kicking ass. Sometimes it doesn't and they stay where they are. And usually at that point, if they stay where they are and they don't follow in, then they'll get frustrated and you'll have to get them out, get them out. Right. But, you know, like we have to have real expectations about this, bro. Not every single person that you fucking hire is going to be an all-star.

Secondly, if you're not doing your job, they're certainly not going to be an all-star. Thirdly, how do you know she didn't trick you? All these things are real things. So we have to analyze the situation on all fronts. I'm willing to bet that you promised her way more shit that you were going to do, and she's seeing you not do it, and that's why you're getting what you're getting. That's what I would guess it probably is without knowing any more than what you just told me. Yeah. Guys, Andy, our third and final question, question number three,

Andy, I was just asked to speak at a school, my first ever public speaking, and I completely failed. I presented myself. Huh? Good. I presented myself as more than I am and I jumped around way too much. When it comes to public speaking or even just speaking to your company, what's the biggest tip you could give? Understand fully what you're about to talk about. This is why telling stories is so powerful because if you tell authentic stories, it's hard to fuck up authentic stories. If you get up there and tell a story tell authentic stories, it's hard to fuck up authentic stories. If you get up there and tell a story about your life, it's hard to fuck that up. Okay.

If you, if I get up and talk about business in any regard, I've been doing business so long that my, I, I like you, I, I don't have to fucking think about it. Like, bro, when you see me go talk at Arte, there is no fucking plan. Rarely is there a plan. I go up there and I talk about shit that i know about so if you talk about shit that you know about it makes it way more comfortable to talk where you get in trouble is trying to fucking talk about shit you don't know about and trying to put the cart before the horse which is what we see on instagram every fucking day we see all these kids trying to be some kind of guru and when when they're fucking kids, which means you can't have possibly the expertise and

the knowledge base needed to talk about the shit that you're actually trying to talk about. So the depth of knowledge and the understanding of what you're talking about is the number one thing to make you a confident speaker. If you know that shit, you will fucking do well. The other thing that will make a massive difference in your ability to speak publicly is the intent that you have in your heart for the delivery of the message. My intent when I go up on stage is to help one person. My intent is to connect with one person. When I come on this show and I do a real talk or I'm doing like Q and AF, my intent is to answer this question to help

a single fucking human being get better. Okay. I know that not everybody's going to get it. I know when I talk in a room of thousands of people that there's people in there rolling their eyes. I don't give a fuck about them. Number of fuckers keep losing. Okay. I'm there for the motherfucker that's going to hear it and then change their entire life. And 10 years from now, show up and be like, bro, you have no idea what the fuck you did for me. And I talk about things that I know. And then I have good intent. My intent is to serve and help and teach and create. It's not to get applause. It's not to get you to buy shit. It's not to become like more famous or whatever, bro. It's about actually serving. So if you have depth of

knowledge and you have intent, it's really hard to fuck up public speaking. But I'm glad that you did fuck it up because you learned a valuable lesson that most people will never do it. Most people will never even go up there and fuck it up one time. Most people won't go up there one time and fuck it up. You already did that. Now go do it about 50 more times. Okay. And each time it'll be less fucked up. And eventually you'll get to a point where you could tell a story about how fucking terrible you were. Go listen to my first 50 podcasts. They're fucking shit. You know what I'm saying?

Like courage to get out there in front of people is one of the biggest things that you got to have. So kudos to this person for getting up there and double kudos for recognizing that you fucked it up. Okay. It's like a lot of people never figure that out. Next time you go up there, make sure you're talking about something that you actually know. Have a couple of stories, have an intro story, have a main point, have an exit story, and you're going to do okay. It'll take you years to get to fucking, dude, you did it one time, bro. You know how many speeches I've given? I couldn't even tell you, dude. It's in the

thousands. It's not in the hundreds. It's not in the dude, it's in the thousands. It's not, it's not in the hundreds. It's not in the tens. It's in the thousands. All right. So when you see someone like me or, and my letter, somebody up on stage that is powerful and you connect with that, if you would have saw me 10 years ago, that wouldn't have been the case. Yeah. Right. So it's reps, dude. So it's reps, depth of knowledge, and intent for your audience. If you can grasp that, you will eventually become a pretty good speaker. I have guys in my office here that are great speakers that five years ago couldn't fucking speak to four people. It's just practice, man. It's intent, and it's fucking understanding what you're talking about.

That's a little quickie, man. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, Andy, little quickie, man. I like that. Yeah. Guys, Andy, that's three, man. Three. Go pay the fee. Yeah. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. Bankroll. Can't fold.

Just a note. Headshot. Case closed.