REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 472. Q&AF: Overcoming The Fear Of Business Failure, Motivating Family And Loved Ones, & Preparing An Employee For Leadership

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what steps to take to overcome the fear of failure in business, how to motivate your loved ones and family members to take action, and how to prepare an employee to become a great leader.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. say goodbye to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af that's where uh you the listener get to submit your questions and then we answer them you can submit your questions which can be about anything this is a personal development entrepreneurship based show i know a lot of you guys think that it's a society and culture based show but it's not uh we were the MFCEO project for a number of years before we were this show. And I am starting the MFCEO project again, which I'm going to do on a little unique way, a different way than we did last time. And I'll have news for that. I'd say probably

around the end of the month is when we'll be launching that. It's just for you guys who are asking. But the point is, personal development, how to win, business, success, that's the wheelhouse. If you want to ask about anything else, totally cool too. Like what's going on in the world. I'm cool to talk about that as well. Other times you can. Now we do things a little differently on the show. Oh, I forgot.

Where can they send the questions in? Guys, as always, email those questions in to askandy at andyfrostella.com. Thanks. I almost forgot you, man. Hey, yeah. I mean, you know, it happens. My bad. All right.

You can also submit those questions or drop them in as a comment underneath the full-length episodes on YouTube of the Q and AF episodes. So, and if you're not subscribed to YouTube, you should, because we're doing not just the full-length podcast. I have a couple unique once a month shows that I'm going to be dropping into YouTube that are going to be totally different than anything I've ever done before. So that's something that you guys are probably going to want to check out. So if you're not subscribed to YouTube, go check that out. Other shows that we have within the show, okay, we do things a little bit differently. We're not just a regular talk show. We have many different formats. Today, you're going to hear Q and AF, which is focused mainly on personal development. Other times you tune in, we have CTI.

CTI stands for Cruise the Internet. Now, what we do on those days is we cruise the internet. We put up topics here on the screen. We talk about what may be true, what may not be true. We speculate on what's going on, and we have a good time doing it. We laugh. We make fun. We make politically incorrect humor.

And if you're into that shit, you'll like that show uh other times we have real talk real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me just giving you some real talk these are where most of the sound bites that you guys hear on tick tock and instagram and come for my real talks okay so it's a little more motivational a little more fast pace uh and i need to get more back to doing it because i really like doing those episodes uh full length is what you're used to seeing on most other episodes, it's uh Most other shows it's a bunch of people sitting around have a conversation and for all of that Uh, we do it a little differently here. Now. You're not going to hear me read ads You're not going to hear me, you know

Uh talk about a bunch of stuff that I get paid to talk about that. I don't actually use I don't do that I like to be authentic with you guys. I like to tell the truth. I don't want some fucking guy who's paying me over here telling me I can't say this or that. I keep the show very authentic in that manner. And in exchange for that, I ask that if you get value out of the show, if it helps you, if it teaches you something, if you thought it was good, if it entertained you, if we did a good job on the show, all I ask is that you share it. That's it. You don't got to buy shit. I'm not asking you to buy my shit. Although it is appreciated. If you do, I appreciate you guys.

There's a lot of you guys that really support my companies. I appreciate the fuck out of that. I'm not discounting that. But what I'm saying is you won't hear me on here talking about that shit all the time. Okay. I rarely talk about my actual stuff to sell you guys. And I like to keep it real, man. Like if we do good, you do good by us.

And if we don't do good, don't the show i think that's fair so anyway what's happening what's going on man oh man i'm fucking running around here like crazy today yeah yeah it's been it's been fucking non-stop since i woke up this morning but that ain't no different than any other day i must say it just sounds like a normal wednesday yeah we were just talking about this you know like people really have the wrong idea of what being an entrepreneur is all about and they think of it like just the glory shit like they think of the title like oh ceo they think oh it must be great must be super cool you know everybody fucking thinks you're the man. Bro, nobody thinks you're the man.

Everybody hates you. Like, everybody brings you their dirtiest shit, and they tell you, man, I don't know what to do. You got to fix it. Yeah. You know, they don't hate you. You know what I'm saying? Let me shit out this pile of shit.

Yeah, bro. Like, the minute you walk into whatever it is that you're doing, dude, your whole job, like, this is a CEO job, dude. CEO job is to paint the vision, execute the vision, and then handle the shit that comes with it. And handling the shit that comes with it makes up 80% of the time, right? Because you don't have to paint the vision every day. All you got to do is paint the vision and set it in motion and get it to go.

But the shit part that happens every day. And so like people, people don't talk enough about that because like, bro, the reality is, is a lot of people aren't in a position you know i see a lot of people um being convinced that they are entrepreneurs by people who are are also not entrepreneurs right they're also not operators you know running a click funnel talking about coaching selling shit on you know on the internet that's not a business bro like that's not building a business like okay for Russell Brunson who invented click for yes that's a fucking great business but like but you're buying his shit now yeah

but like dude the point is we have a lot of people pretending you know and then we have we have a lot of people believing the pretending and those people that are believing the pretending or making life decisions that are gonna end up fucking really hurting them because of that yeah you know and it's just it's frustrating to watch the state of the internet you know i haven't been able to be on it for the last week because they don't like me either but it is what it is you know and it makes me sad because like dude a lot of people they i wish i think that if i took a big percentage of the humans that want to be entrepreneurs and they shadowed me for a fucking single day they would reconsider you know what i'm saying like it's hard as fuck dude and like a lot of these other people out there they won't tell you that because they're insecure they're not they're they're they're not i i can't think of a success coach out there off top of my head that is actually

telling the truth about how hard shit really is and it you know do you think it's just because they can't hold on do you think it's just me do you guys really think it's just me saying that like do you think i'm just saying like it's just hard for me you don't think it's hard for these other they're not telling you bro because they don't want you to shy away from buying their you see what i'm saying yeah like it's easy like it's easy to convince people it's going to be easy it's like back in the day like you know back in the early 2000s you know that you hear these commercials all over the internet in fact i heard one the other day from this company in st louis which shocked me that the thousands, you know, they even hear these commercials all over the internet. In fact, I heard one the other day from this company in St. Louis, which shocked me that the FTC even

allows it, but they're, you know, lose weight, no effort, no diet, no surgery, no work, no activity. Like, bro, you're fucking lying. You're fucking lying. And then what happens is these people go and they fucking try this shit and it doesn't fucking work. Okay. And it doesn't work because it's a lie, but then these people don't know that it's a lie so that they go home and you know what they do? You know what they say to themselves?

They look themselves in the mirror and they say, fuck bro, I guess I'm just fat. I'm different. My metabolism is fucked up. I'm big bone. It runs in my family. You see what I'm saying? And they tell themselves all these things They blame themselves when in reality The person's fucking lying to you

Like bro losing weight is hard You have to do things that make you uncomfortable You have to fucking restrict your calories You gotta drink water you gotta have activity You gotta burn more calories than you fucking consume Consistently for a long period of time These are fucking this is math this is math okay and it doesn't matter what pill or what powder and that's coming from someone who runs one of the biggest fucking

supplement companies on the planet you can't fucking you can't there's no magic pill and there is no magic pill just like for that like for business yeah there's no fucking magic pill bro there's no magic pill and like dude it's frustrating dude yeah you know so would you say to just accept that it's going to be hard but that you don't you don't focus on how hard it is you just focus on not fucking quitting is that is that the mystique of it i mean if you focus on how hard it is all the time, it's going to feel harder than it actually is. You know, it's like people who suffer from anxiety, right? Like, which I have as well in the past and still currently have episodes of it. Um, but you know, when you, when you focus on anxiety, right. And you're like, fuck, I want to feel zero anxiety. And your focus is

entirely on the anxiety. The minute that anything happens throughout the day that causes you any reasonable level of normal anxiety that a human being would feel, you go to super mega anxiety because now your expectations were wrong. Okay. And now you've not been able to manage that expectation and the anxiety has come in and now you're like fuck i can't get through a fucking day fucking because without feeling like this and like dude you throw this fuck and it gets way worse okay and this is what people do in their lives they do it over and over and over again they do in different areas they do it with their fucking physique they do it with their career they do it with their fucking uh you know their mental health they do all these things

what you focus on is going to feel more intense than it really is yeah okay so it's important that you select consciously what it is you're going to focus on that is going to help you progress down the path so like i don't fucking think about how hard it is. I just accept that it's hard. Right. Okay. I just, you know, and the quitting part at this point, it's not even an option. Like I don't consider that either. Like it's more so like when bad shit happens, it's like, fuck. All right. Well, what do we got to do to fix it? And then we fucking start fixing it. You know what I mean? And that's the game of business, dude. Like we live in this highly critical internet era, right right like where you have every fucking troll on the internet trying to pick apart everybody's fucking business and it's always the medium and small businesses they try to trash and they don't

give a fuck that you know all these other companies are donating billions of dollars to fucking world political initiatives that are actually enslaving them or fudging elections or they don't think twice about it they don't think twice about the big companies bro right but like a little company or medium company fucking does one thing and the internet fucking explodes right and dude we so we live in this high overly highly critical and this is why it's important that you guys don't pile on with cancel culture like you you fucking should know better than that that's a fucking communist weapon like when you pile onto it even if you agree with it you're participating in communist shit just so you decide so either way yeah yes so uh but the point i'm trying to make here is that what can you do

dude all you can do is accept things for what they are and say fuck okay that got fucked up or that was fucked up or we did this or you know we didn't do this and we got to change that and you keep moving. And that's really it, dude. That is it. The game is so fucking simple. It's so simple it can be described in fucking two steps. And I say it all the time, but I'll say it again because it's important for you to understand.

If you are intelligent enough to when you touch a hot stove if you can learn immediately to not touch it twice which most of us do okay most of the human humans possess that skill okay when they were a little kid did you ever touch a stove no forget i did too bro did you touch twice no fuck no me neither okay So if you love, if you have that ability inside of you to make a mistake and correct it immediately and not do it again, bro, you have the, you have probably the most valuable skill in entrepreneurship and that, and everybody has it. Okay. But the other skill, okay. Which is required is not quitting. All right. So it's persevering through all this process of attempting to go out and do something, making a mistake, making a mess of it,

correcting the mess, moving forward a little further until a new mess comes, correcting that mess, learning the lesson, continuing to move forward. This is the process of business. People think like you guys, a lot of you guys really believe that it's like the smooth sailing fucking thing it's a fucking war bro it's chaotic as fuck it's hard as fuck and anybody who's built anything real will tell you that dude they might not tell you that publicly because they want you to buy their shit right but they'll tell you private yeah because it's true absolutely you know can i ask you this because you know and the ability to not quit is a skill that you must develop. Yeah.

That's where 75 hard, live hard can really help you guys. Yeah. Okay? It helps you develop the grit, the perseverance, the fortitude, the toughness that you need to persevere. If you can get through 75 days or a year of live hard, bro, I can promise you, you have every bit of ability to push through on an entrepreneurship journey. That's why my ass was out at midnight last night. like yeah i can't fucking stop yeah like i gotta get

done that program's free by the way and it's episode 208 i do want to ask you though because when it comes to like the touching the hot stove and you know you talk about not making these same mistakes over and over again have you found like that that people sometimes will minimize how bad the fuck up actually was to try to like, oh, well, it wasn't that bad. Oh, the stove wasn't really that hot. Well, yeah, bro. That's human nature. Human nature is to justify your own actions, which causes more problems.

Because if you don't acknowledge the severity of the fuck up that you made your your bait what you're doing is you're readjusting your baseline to accept that as an acceptable level of fuck up right okay so like yeah so like dude it's very important that when you are self-assessing for what you did that you give an honest assessment now that doesn't mean be harder on yourself than you need to be that means tell tell the truth. Okay. Like, cause people tend to do one of two things, right? There there's, there's being too easy on yourself over here. There's being too, too hard on yourself over on the other side of that scale. And then in the middle of somewhere, there's the truth. Okay. And so like, dude, getting yourself

in a place where you can tell yourself the actual truth of whatever it is, is going on is very, very powerful and advantageous because most people can't do it. Most people are always too hard on themselves. Okay. Or too easy on themselves. Like you guys act, you guys ask why I'm so like, why I'm so like aggressive with my delivery sometimes. Well, the reason is, is because in my course of life, I found that most people are far too easy on themselves, not too hard on themselves. Okay. A lot of people out there, you know, that say like, Oh dude, I'm overwhelmed. I'm having all these problems. This is so fucking hard. If you really dig into what's going on with them, bro, they're not really applying themselves and they're not being honest with themselves about the reality. And so those

people who think they're over here, wherever they're being too hard on themselves are actually on the other side but just speaking a different language to themselves that makes sense absolutely they're not telling themselves the truth and you have to be honest with yourself are you actually fucking doing what you're supposed to do are you running the plan are you fucking executing are you doing these things or are you meaning to? Are you doing these things? Or are you meaning to do these things and these things aren't happening? Because those are two different things.

And if you're not having a result, the result is actually always the same reason why it's not produced. It's produced because no matter what your intent is, no matter how you feel about it, no matter what you fucking think needs to happen and what you know is supposed to happen, the reason the result is not materializing is because you're not executing the right way.

That's it. That's the only reason. This is math. It's one plus one equals two. It's two plus two equals fucking four. And then I dude, if you put the inputs, you're going to get the fucking outputs. But the inputs have to be made for a consistent long time before you ever start seeing the outputs. And then if you continue to time before you ever start seeing the outputs. And then if you continue to invest, when you start seeing the outputs, the outputs go up exponentially. Success, growing a business, building something of significance, a life, a fitness journey, whatever. It fucking doesn't matter.

It all works on a hockey stick style curve, okay? So if you lay a hockey stick down on the ground with the handle of the hockey stick on the ground and the blade sticking up in the air, that if you draw a line like that, okay, that's what success looks like on a curve. It does not look like this diagonal line. It looks flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, flat, fucking up. And that's how it works. That's how it works with your fitness. You guys who have dieted over and over and over again and you get in four three four weeks you're like fuck nothing's happening bro nothing happens after but until like you're after five or six weeks in and then after fucking five or six weeks

you start accelerating the results so you're not even giving yourself enough time to see what the fuck the result is of the work that you put in because you're quitting and this is what people do they quit way too fucking soon or they quit literally right like that meme you know there's that meme of the the guy digging for diamonds right and there's the guy and he's like frustrated and he quits and and he's like one inch away from the diamonds and then there's the guy that fucking just keeps going he gets the fucking diamonds and this is this you can replace the diamonds with your fitness your business business success, your life success, your relationships, everything, everything I found in my, in my experience in life works on that. You could draw a curve that looked just like that hockey stick, bro. And it's almost every single thing you're going to have to put in shit.

You're going to have to put in inputs for much longer than you think necessary. And then if you continue to put in inputs, when the curve starts to curve and you see success and don't do what most people do, what most people do when they start to see a little success is they stop putting the inputs in. This is the fucking part where compounding interest starts to take over. So if you continue to put the inputs in

or even put in inputs better, when the curve starts to go up, you'll fucking accelerate that curve tremendously. And the results that you'll get will compound. And like, dude, people have a hard time seeing how this works because the truth of the matter is, bro, most people haven't stuck with anything long enough to really fucking see it happen for themselves. And I'm not saying that to hate on anybody. It's just the truth. We're inundated with bullshit, you know, seven minute abs, right? Lose 30 pounds in fucking 30 days. Shit like that.

Become a millionaire in fucking two weeks. Last year, I was living in my mom's basement. Today, I'm living in this fucking mansion a year later. Like, bro, this is all fucking flash in the pan bullshit. If you want to live a real life, if you want to have real success, you're going to have to understand that the investment has to be made. and it has to be made much longer than you think it has to be made. And if you make that investment and you keep going and you keep putting the work in, this is why I talk about the work coming before the belief. When you start to see the results, most people that are winners will pour in more, right? Like when you start to see confirmation, it's working. Yeah. Now you start actually pouring in

and then it goes fast right and so i was just talking to some of the guys in the lunchroom and one of my one of my buddies here has a picture of the old hq and he didn't work here until we had a new hq okay and he has a picture is uh in his uh office of the old hq and i was walking by and i saw it and i was like holy shit like this looks like fucking kindergarten like because that's how small it was compared to this and uh and I said well why I said why do you got that in there because he wasn't there he was only here he's like dude I put it in there for perspective because I didn't wasn't there and I'm like fuck I like I like that yeah and he goes uh he goes yeah man he goes humble beginnings I man. He goes, humble beginnings. I go, no, bro. No, not humble beginnings. I said, that was 20 years in.

That was 20 years in. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, man. People don't get that. Fucking perspective. People think it's a fucking, like, bro, people think it's like this bullshit fairy tale story. Like, bro, I slept in the back of my store for three fucking years. Okay?

I made $58,000 my first 10 years in business. Fucking 10 years, 58 grand. I could have made more working at fucking McDonald's, bro. Okay. But in my 11th year, I made 180 grand. My 12th year, I made seven figures. I never made less than that ever again. That's how the fuck it works.

That's some extra fucking sauce. I mean, I'm just being real, dude. You have to understand how the game works to play the game. You know, dude, my biggest thing. Just imagine if you were to quit at year 10. Bro, I almost quit every day. Fuck, bro, I almost quit this morning. You know what I'm saying?

It's every day. It's just part of who the fuck I am. Like, you'll see me bitch. You'll see me complain me complain i'll fucking yell and scream get mad and pissed off but bro you never see me fucking quit it won't happen i can't quit dude i can't quit just keep fucking showing i cannot do it it's not within my capacity i can't do it because i've seen enough of what how what what is produced when you don't to understand why it's important not to. And like, dude, if you could just possess those two skills I talked about a minute ago, which is learning from your mistakes, adding a skillset into your belt, and then persevering through the fucking

hard time. And bro, sometimes the times are going to be hard. We're not going to talk about hard day, bro. I'm not talking about hard week. I'm talking about years of hard but you don't like it's just i don't know man it's hard to explain it how hard it really is it just really is it's just hard to explain it you know it's hard to fucking explain it and like dude i can't you know how do you explain perspective like that to someone who walks in a building like this for their first real job? How do you explain that? You see what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, bro, imagine- You're like a fucking history museum. How long have you worked for me now? Three years. Imagine you're not making a single fucking dollar the last three years. Yeah, fuck.

That was my first three years. I can't imagine that, yeah. No, not a single fucking dollar the last three years yeah fuck that was my first i can't imagine that no not a single dollar bro you showed up every fucking day you did all the shit that you've done for me for the last three years you didn't make a fucking dollar not a fucking dollar not 50 fucking cents not a fucking dollar and by the way you had to sleep in your truck the whole time and not not that nice-ass truck you drive now. I'm talking about your original truck. Think about that. That's what the fuck I started with, bro. And I'm not saying that to brag about how hard I had it.

I'm telling you, you need to be prepared for the fucking suck. It's real shit. You can't skate around that. It's different now. You know, it's different now you know it's different now there's kids now that are smart that understand technology they're making good money but the problem and that's cool i'm the suck may not have to be as long doesn't that's the cool thing so that's the positive like you like you guys listening and you're like fuck this sounds

horrible well let me tell you the good news the good news is you got two good things playing for you in this in this uh in this. One, most people today are not nearly as ambitious as they were 20 years ago. The young people of today don't value being successful because the education system has fucking worn that out of them. So you have less competition. When I was 19, 18, 19, 20 years old, and I talked to all my buddies, Joe, I know you're the same. Everybody wanted to be wealthy. Everybody wanted to be baller. Everybody wanted to be rich. How many of them are? A couple, a hand, like two out of fucking every 100. You see what I'm saying? And Joe, I bring Joe into it because we're close to the same age or closer to the same age. I don't want to insult you,

but I got a couple of years on you. But like um, but like, dude, you know, we have to understand the reality of what, what we're talking about here. And the other thing that, that you guys have is you have this fucking incredible technology that does a lot of things for you. One, uh, you know, there's, there's ways to build cashflow systems. I don't call them businesses. I call them cashflow system, cashflow funnels, many different ways. Okay. Which we didn't have back then. Okay. You have the ability to communicate with customers online. Like you say, Oh, I only got a hundred followers, motherfucker. Well, there's a billion people on the internet that ain't following you that you can fucking DM and talk to. Don't do me though. I'm just being

real. Gary Vee fucked that up for everybody, bro. A few years ago, he told every motherfucker, be DMing people relentlessly. Bro, my DMs went fucking from zero to 1,000 in like one day. Yeah. I messaged him like, hey, what the fuck? But my point is, is that you could be reaching out to potential customers through this technology. Where back when I was doing what I did, I had to go door to door. Didn't have it. All right.

So the reason that this is important and an advantage for you guys is because less competition, technology makes it faster. Okay. And so it shrinks down the suck window in the beginning. But here's the problem I see with a lot of young people is that they can develop these little cashflow e-comm systems, but they aren't thinking about building a brand. Okay. And so like what ends up happening is they end up, you know,

having to chase the next widget or the next program or the next fucking ad campaign system over and over and over again. When in reality, if you converted those skills into actually building a real company, now you're building an asset that could be worth eight, nine, 10 fucking figures based off of the skill that you're using. And you're pissing the money away on a fucking Hurrican lease. You see what I'm saying? So like, bro, you guys who are in like, cause I, cause I

kind of talk a lot of shit about some of these guys that are young and do this shit. But like, dude, the reason I talk shit on it is because you're fucking yourselves. Like, bro, you guys who are fucking 20 years old, 25 years old,'re fucking you got these cash flow fucking funnels coming in If you're not pouring that into a building an actual brand, bro, i'm telling you as someone who's been down the path I'm 43 fucking years old. I've made all the mistakes The biggest mistake you guys are making is not fucking converting that into an actual brand And using these the cash flow and the skills that you know over here to build something that's an asset over here. Yeah.

Because that company's worth money. You know, all my companies are worth a fucking ton of money. You see what I'm saying? Had I just kept selling and selling and selling and selling and selling and selling and selling and never building anything real, I'd still be out there fucking hustling door to door. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So like, dude dude a lot of these

younger kids they start making a few dollars and then they decide oh i'm an econ person well dude do you not understand that you have the fucking ability and a skill set that very few people have and that you could easily take that skill set and start a company and drive that company with that skill set using the cash flow it builds you an asset that could be worth fucking 100 200 500 billion dollars one day see what i'm saying yeah so like that's why i get irritated with it because i actually get a little jealous because i'm like fuck dude if i had had that shit when i was fucking 20 years old i already be bezos yeah right you know what i'm saying we didn't have this technology till i was 10 years in the business so not in a real way i mean dude social media existed but it was like not like it is today you know what was that what question we on number one did we ask one yet no oh shit okay no it's a great guy listen that's extra

sauce for you guys yeah for our first time listeners um it happens you know yeah and i'm not saying this shit to discourage anybody bro but i think it's important that you fucking condition yourself to be to be able to persevere through this like look for me dude look here's how i'm wired i know not everybody's wired this way but here's how i'm wired you're listening to this show so that's how the fuck i'm gonna say it um back when i was playing fucking football okay if coach said, we're running 30 fucking sprints, I'd say, okay, got to run 30 sprints. No fucking problem.

And I'd fucking do it. And I'd give it my all. I'd run the 30 fucking sprints. But if that motherfucker, we got to 30, and he said, all right, we got two more, I would fucking throw a fit. I'd be like, fuck you. Like, dude, this is why I always had to run.

This is why I don't run now. Because I'd call him out on it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And because I call them out on it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And the point of the matter is, is that, you know, the other times they come in, they say, oh, well you're going to run until I say stop. Well, bro, that doesn't motivate nobody.

You know what I'm saying? And now all of a sudden, what are we running? Are we running 20? Are we running 40? Are we running a fucking hundred? Like that's not knowing drove me crazy okay so that's how i'm wired so the reason i tell you guys how hard it actually is is not to discourage you it's because i know for me i would rather know the fucking truth than to get into

something that i didn't know and be overwhelmed and have it like fucking bury me right you know what i'm saying yeah so don't misinterpret why I'm saying what I'm saying. I want you to win. That's why I do this shit. I do it for fucking free, bro. Yeah. I want you to win. I know you can do it, but I'm just letting you know it isn't, it's not fucking, it's not what these people on the internet make it out to be. Yeah. Andy, question number one, let's get into these. Andy, I just started my own business and I know it's going to be hard and it's going to take some time to get off the ground and get going However, I find myself almost expecting to fail And for it to just be extremely hard. How do I get over this? Is this something that I should get over? Yeah, you should get over it I

Don't expect to fail I expect to win no matter what like it's an expectation The reason that you expect to lose is because you never won anything and you've probably lost a lot of things. And the reason that you've probably lost a lot of things is probably because you didn't stick them out. You weren't executing the basic shit. Okay. You weren't doing what the fuck you're supposed to be doing and you lost. And a lot of people lose early in life because they don't realize, like I said earlier in the monologue, that a lot of what the expectation is to win is underestimated. So people consistently lose over and over again because they have the wrong perception of how the game is played. They think that it should take three months when in reality,

it takes fucking three years, right? So they have a false expectation so that everything they try, it never works. Just like the weight loss analogy that I, because eventually those weight loss people, you know what they do? They give up. They say, fuck it. It doesn't matter what I take. It doesn't matter what I do. I can't lose fucking weight. It is what it is. And they give up and they blame themselves. And that's fucking terrible. That's bullshit. And that's what happens to people in entrepreneurship as well. They think I don't have it or I'm going to lose or I'm a loser. And they believe that because they never won. But the reason they never won is because they had a false expectation of reality. And so that's why I take the time for the last 30 minutes to explain how important it

is to have a reasonable expectation of what the fuck is going on, because it will keep you from becoming disenfranchised and frustrated and quitting, and then creating a pattern where you get two or three years into everything that you do over the course of your life and then you don't you know because that's what most people do most people work on a two to three year cycle they go somewhere for two years they get stale they fucking find something else they go there for two or three years they get stale they find something else they go there for two or three years they get stale they find something else and the problem that is, is that never gives you the opportunity to materialize and grow everything that you're putting the work into, which is going to create the result that you're ultimately after. And it's not necessarily the vehicle or the business or the mission that

you're running. It's how you're running it. Lots of businesses could be ultra successful if they were run properly, right? And this, again, it comes back to people misunderstanding the game. So how do I change my mentality from expecting to lose to expecting to win? It's very simple. You got to do the work even when you think you're still going to lose. Okay. And what will happen is you will start to realize this is just like 75 hard, bro. Like when you do 75 hard, there's a number of days where you do not feel like it's going your way. You do not. And this is the point. It's hard.

It's raining outside. It's cold outside. It's minus 27 degrees outside. It's fucking this, that the fuck this, this sucks. But here's the thing. If you simply just persevere through it, even though it sucks, the result still produces itself. Yeah. Excuse me.

So that's the same with business like you can you can expect to lose and if you still execute you'll show yourself that you win does that make sense yeah you gotta trick that and eventually what will happen is you will learn the game you'll learn that this is inputs and outputs you'll learn that this is one plus one equals two it's not magic you'll learn that this is inputs and outputs. You'll learn that this is one plus one equals two. It's not magic. You'll learn that there's no success fairy or blessing that comes down and says, oh, DJ, you're blessed to be successful. That's not how the fuck it works, bro.

It's inputs and outputs. It's results. And once you start to learn that game, then you stop it. You will never expect to lose because you know it's very simple. It's as simple as putting the shit in every single day, and the result will be there.

And that's why I talk about the work comes before the belief. You've got to work for a long time for the result to come to give you the confidence. Yeah. Andy, because I feel like I was hearing a little bit, like he's almost associating failure with shit being hard. Like, did you get that at all from that like where was that just me like he he's putting those two like they're in the same category when well i think that's what kills most people i think most people when it gets hard they quit yeah and then they say

with that that's why it's associated yeah yeah i mean dude when do people quit when do people quit a marathon they don't quit a marathon on the first fucking mile, right? They quit on mile 18. Yeah. And because they quit on mile 18 and, and then they go run another marathon and it gets hard at 18, they quit again. And then they go and they quit again.

And so what ends up happening is they're never able to accomplish their goal of fucking actually completing a marathon because every time it gets hard, they fucking, there's, I'm going to start over. If you push through that fucking hard, great things happen. That's the, that's, that's the fucking lesson here. I love it, man. And the question number two, Andy, what have you found to be the best way to inspire or motivate your loved ones, uh, friends or family?

I think people have to be ready to do what they're going to do. And I think a lot of people try to convince them, tell them, encourage them. And really the only way to do it is to do it yourself and have them observe it. You know, like, like, like there's a lot of people out there who are like not in shape. Right. Like, but they're not fat. They're just not healthy. They're fucking, uh, skinny fats. Right. Skin skinny fats right skinny fat yeah yeah that's what i call them skinny fats you know and and dude these people because they'll look at they look at a bigger person right like i've experienced this like people will come to me who don't train don't work out don't fucking eat healthy they're just like these thinner people and they'll tell the

big person who was me oh man you know i'd really love to see you lose a hundred pounds or shit like that out of a place of love. Right. But then I'm looking at them. I'm like, fuck you, dude, you're fucking drinking three nights, fucking week. I'm not fucking listening to you. Like you're full of shit. And so the real way to inspire people is to show them through your actions and results. Okay. And this is why 75 hard is such a fucking viral program and has been for the last four years. People say, Oh,

it's a fad. Oh, really fads last four fucking years. This motherfucker's lasting forever, bro. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. The,

the, the, the witnessing of the process of change. And that is, it's not the transformation. It's not the before or after it's the inspiration of change. And it's not the transformation. It's not the before or after. It's the inspiration of the relentless process that you go through to facilitate that change. So if you really give a fuck about your family and friends getting healthy or becoming successful,

the best thing that you can do is to be that example. Even if you're not right now, maybe you're the skinny fat guy right now. Okay. How, and you really care. Like, let's say you are that person who's normal, quote unquote, and you're trying to encourage, uh, your 400 pound brother to fucking get it done. The best way to do that would be for you to go through the process, even though you don't necessarily need it, because what's going to happen is he's going to see it and he's going to say, fuck, he's really fucking committed, man. That's inspiring to me. It's possible. Yeah, bro. And you show them enough to show them. It's not, it's not a talk. It's not listen to this podcast. It's not, you know, do this thing. It's fucking do it yourself. And the people that you love and care about will observe it and witness it. And they will be

inspired to do the same. And I see this. I know this is fact because I see it every day. I see it every day in my business. I see it every day in know this is fact because I see it every day. I see it every day in my business. I see it every day in Arte Syndicate. I see it every day in 75 Hard and Live Hard. I see it every day with our transformation program at First Form. I see it every fucking day. The minute one of the family members gets in shape or gets their shit together, the whole family does.

Okay. The whole family does. I'll give you an example of my own family, bro. Like when I first did 75 Hard and I lost all that, when I first lost all that weight in 2015, then progressed into 75 hard and got my shit together. Uh, Sal lost 30 fucking pounds. My dad lost 40 fucking pounds. My mom lost a hundred pounds. I didn't fucking tell them to do that. They fucking did it on their own. And I, you know, they didn't come to me and say, Oh, you inspired me, but I'm pretty fucking sure that's what happened. Right. Right so you got to go first bro go first other people will

follow i love it and a third and final question question number three uh andy how do you prepare an employee for their first management or leadership position? Can you think back to the first person you promoted to like a leadership position? Well, look, man, to be a great leader, it's a fucking, it's an inside job. All right. There's nothing that we could do as a company. There's nothing you can do as a trainer to make someone a great leader. They have to, it's just like what I just said. They have to want it on their own. Yeah. Right. Like, on their own. So if you put someone in a leadership role that doesn't want to become a great leader, they're not going to be a great leader no matter what you fucking put in front of them, no matter how much you teach them, no matter what books they read.

So that's the first thing. They have to fucking want it. Secondly, I think people could do themselves a favor by just listening to the next sentence i'm going to say and remembering for the rest of your life leadership is not about bossing motherfuckers around it's about serving them it's about empowering them it's about getting them in a position to the day where they can do their job effectively and do so um in a way that's fulfilling and fun not always fun but most of the time fun uh and your job as a leader is to make them able to do that it's not to fucking say hey you fucking do this or like a lot

of people think leadership is like because like dude there's a stereotype of the of the fucking leader right like me okay let's just be real like i'm a fiery person i give fiery speeches when people fucking have me speak at their companies most of the people end with their fucking mouth open like holy fuck that's who the fuck i am but that's my style that's not even an effective that's not even that dude that handicaps me as a leader more than it helps me and people think that that's the skill of a leader because that's what hollywood shows or that's what you see in fucking football movies and this and that and yet bro the best leaders in the world like that's what Hollywood shows or that's what you see in fucking football movies and this and that. And yet, bro, the best leaders in the world, like that's a handicap for me. My emotional intensity is a handicap for me as a leader.

I've had to do a tremendous amount of work to become better at that. So like when you guys see that and you think, oh dude, I don't have, I don't talk like that. I'm not rah, rah, rah. That ain't fucking leadership, bro. That's just their style of leadership. There's a hundred different styles. And if you can just understand that one sentence, I just said that leadership is about service and it's not about bossing motherfuckers around. You'll, you kind of hacked the game right from the get go. So like, dude, when you're a brand new leader, the best thing you can do now, there's some, there's some nuances. Like you got to know when the, where the line is and if they step on your toes you got to fucking step on their toes back shit like that because people will take

advantage of fucking leaders that are too soft too weak but the but most leaders are not too soft most leaders fucking err on the side of like what they've been shown through media and movies and hollywood and all this shit and they think it's raw you know but that's not real leadership dude it can be but it's not the only way and so we have to understand that you know, but that's not real leadership, dude. It can be, but it's not the only way. And so we have to understand that, you know, true leadership is really simple, dude. You walk into your team, you say, guys, what do you need to do this? We got to do that. Hey, we're trying to build our show on YouTube. We've never done that before. What do you think we should do? And then you listen and they'll fucking tell you what you think, and then you fucking say what they think, and then they say what they think again, and then what do I say, Keith?

What do you need to do that? Joe, what do you need to do that? What do we need? That's all leadership is, bro, and then listening. It's giving your people the tools and the education and the ideas and the path, listening to what they have to say, valuing their feedback, making a decision and going forward as a team. It's super simple, bro. But people fuck it up because they see this shit on TV. And like, dude, I, one of the things I regret about myself that I wish I could sometimes change, but I also don't because it's the reason I am who I am. But sometimes I do wish I wasn't as fiery.

Sometimes I do wish that I wasn't the speaker that I am and how I, sometimes I wish I am, but sometimes I do wish I wasn't as fiery. Sometimes I do wish that I wasn't the speaker that I am and how I, sometimes I wish I spoke, you know, like fucking somebody that wasn't crazy. You know what I'm saying? Like, like no two, four. Yeah. So like, dude, cause like when, when I start feeling it, bro, and people love that passion, but at the same time that can burn you, burn people up too. So like, you don't, don't look at someone who's just like that kind of a leader and think oh i don't have that i can't lead no motherfucker like leadership is very simple how can i help you guys do what you need to do so that we can build this over here and what what do i need to do my part like real talk do i not say that to you guys all the time do i not say what can i do better what do you guys need me to do? Yeah, absolutely. Is that not what I say?

And then I say, what else do I say? Hey, do you need anything? What do we need? Do we need cameras? Do we need fucking, what do we need? Do we get rid of Joe? You know? Actually, I'm glad you brought that up.

But like, bro, you know, that's, we have like just, this is a, this is one of the many teams I have, you know, in this building, but this is my main team. And we fucking talk every day. We talk about what we're doing. There's no fucking ego in it. I mean, maybe you guys talk shit about me when I ain't around. I don't fucking know, but I don't feel like you do. I feel like we do.

I think that's leadership, dude. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I know Syed talks shit. It's funny you brought that up. I was going to. Yeah. Well, guys, Andy, that was three, man.

All right. And some extra sauce. Yeah. That was three. Go pay the fee.