REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 478. Prerequisites For Success Ft. Tim Grover

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

In today's episode, Andy and the crew are joined in the studio by Tim Grover. They discuss the importance of having a proper foundation built when pursuing success, why it's crucial to have a solid routine in life, and how to use the skeletons in your closet as an asset in the journey.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusionsusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a full-length episode. I'm going to get to that in just a second. But if this is your first time listening, this is not like your normal podcast. It's not just a bunch of guys sitting around talking about shit. Now, today we actually do have that. But other times on YouTube, we have other things. And one of them is Q&AF. Okay, that's where you submit your questions and I answer them live on the show. You can submit those questions a couple different ways. The first way is

guys, email those questions in to ask Andy at andyfrasella.com. And the second way is on YouTube. By the way, we're new on YouTube. Been doing it for a couple months now. It's going well. You can drop the comments right there in the question or the Q& F episodes on YouTube.

So we'll pull some questions from there to answer on the show. Other times you tune in, you're going to hear CTI. CTI stands for cruise the internet. That is our news slash comedy slash trying to figure out and decipher what the actual truth is in the real world show. And we do so by making fun of the idiots that put out the news. We dictate or try to speculate what is right, what is wrong, what's the truth is, what the truth isn't. And we have a good time doing it. Then ultimately we talk about how we can all be a part of the solution as well. Other times we tune in and we have real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of just some real talk. It's just shit that I think you need to hear. And for all of that, we have a fee. The fee is not monetary. You don't have to send me any money, although I will take it if you send it to me. Mainly,

I just ask that you share the show. So when we say pay the fee, that means share the show. If you listen to the show, you know that almost for eight eight years now we have not run ads on the show i don't run ads on the show i don't take money from people who are going to tell me what the i can and cannot say uh for any reason i'm also not going to market things that i do not use i will however market this amazing first form energy drink because it's amazing pretty good all right market that okay um but mainly I don't run ads on the show and I give you guys a lot of free game. So in exchange for that, I say, pay the fee. That means share the show. We've run the show at the top of the charts for nearly a decade based on word of

mouth. I appreciate you guys sharing the show. I appreciate you guys sharing the messaging. Uh, and the way that we're going to continue to get this message out is by you sharing the show. So if we do good, if it's good value, which I promise you today, you will find some great value in this show. We ask that you share it. That's pretty simple. So now on to the full length episode, right? Full length. Got a couple of guests on the show. The girthy one. Yeah. It is a girthy show. Yeah. It's long too. Yeah, it is. Yeah. We have a couple of guests and one of them happens to be my brother. Two times in a week. Yeah. No have a couple guests and one of them happens to be my brother. Two times in a week? Yeah. I'm no longer

a guest. No, you're a guest. You're just not a special guest. You were a special guest last show. Got it. Now you're a guest. So is that an upgrade or a downgrade? I'm not sure. Still figuring that out? He's a non-binary guest. I identify as a special guest. What do you think about that?

We better all say special guest. Nobody, there you go. What do you think about that? Well, then we better all say special guest. Nobody gets their fucking feelings hurt. So I'm here with my special guest, my brother. Thank you. You feel better? I'm super special. And then, no, our super special guest is the man sitting to your left, Mr. Tim Grover.

What's happening, dude? Everything is excellent. Anytime I get a chance to come see both of you, come to this wonderful facility, sit in this amazing studio and listen, educate myself, get to voice my opinions. It's a wonderful day. You do the educating around here though, bro.

Listen, if we're... You know what you're educating me on right now? What am I educating you on? It's how to look fucking good. Like, bro, you got the suit, you got the tan, you got the salt and pepper going on. Hey. You're looking good. I appreciate it. Listen,

I'm the seasoned one in the room. I'm the elderless statesman in here. So I got to represent a little differently. You got to represent a little differently. Thank you. I think we should do that more. We talked about this, like wearing fucking suits, like getting back into that era, man. Like think back what it was you're trying to say tim's old you're gonna offend our special guest well i mean special special guest sorry super special guest

that's right i'm just saying i find that i don't mind the suit wearing thing on a daily no i think it needs to make a comeback yeah i mean dude the cult look at the culture dude yeah like motherfuckers wearing sweatpants like a onesie a onesie like a matching sweatpants we don't make any matching shit do we okay don't wear our matching shit all right i'm just being real like bro some of y'all dress like fucking toddlers you're wearing matching sweatpants the same color shirt and a fucking fanny pack like i'm a fucking little kid dude yeah like my dad remember dad used to dress us like that yeah my dad used to take us to fucking sam this is real shit dude my dad treated us like twins even though we weren't twins so we wore the same shit so like

my dad would buy us the same outfits and these were not like we didn't go to gap right right like that was you don't understand but gap was the shit back then we didn't go to Gap, right? Right, right. Like, that was, you don't understand, but Gap was the shit back then. We didn't go to Gap. Do you even know what Gap is? I know what Gap is. Oh, okay. You got your clothes from A&P. No, what's that? There was no, huh?

What's A&P? Yeah, see? You guys are two even younger than me. Yeah. Gotcha. Bro, we were getting shit. A&P was a grocery store. Bro, not clothing.

That's where we were. We got our clothes from Sam's so we would go through and there'd be like the pile of sweatpants and there'd be like jersey sweatpants

all red okay and he'd buy fucking three pairs of red pants for Sal three pairs for me and three red tops for each of us

and bro we were running around like fucking Oompa Loompas dude all the time man like that's how the fuck we ran around listen that's true

that's not a false story that's a very true story I hated it I'm like dad we're not fucking it all the time, man. Like, that's how the fuck we ran around. Listen, that's true. That's not a false story. Yeah. That's a very true story. I hated it. I'm like, Dad, we're not fucking twins. And he's like, I don't care. Yeah. I'm like, all right. All right.

Yeah, like, what am I gonna do? Anyway. No, man, I think it was his style. Dude, listen. It's a, it's a, man dressing like men is important. Yeah. It's important. Yeah.

And now you got motherfuckers running around wearing balloons on their feet have you seen that have you seen have you guys seen that are you talking about that sam smith dude no there's some new boots that are apparently pretty famous oh those red ones yeah yeah i saw those like oh weird man dj what size did you get yeah i don't i will tell you he's telling a story earlier i mean dennis robin did wear dresses and made it popular before it was popular in 2023 yeah you know no and boas yeah yeah and pamela he's an interesting dude huh very interesting very interesting individual yeah very very um well going you know on the dress thing, for me, it's a statement.

It's a statement. All right, you know, every individual in here, in this room, they work hard. They take care of their bodies. They sacrifice. They sacrifice overindulging in things. And I like to be able to go in my closet and not have a section that says, yeah, not too comfortable, maybe too tight, too big. I can go in there and wear anything I want to wear and feel good about

it and feel comfortable about it. That comes from the high standards you have physically too, though. Yeah. And you know, listen, everything that goes on in here. That's a big deal. That's a big deal. That what you just said like being able to go in your closet like you just reminded me of something like when i was when i was fucking fat and like i i would have to wear like the same clothes all the time yeah and i would have to like think about it i have to stay i remember because it's been seven years since i really started getting get my shit together and uh i used to stand in front of the mirror and try to look as like, I was trying to suck in,

and I'd be like, oh, you know, this makes me look less fat or this makes me look better than that. And I had to have this internal debate on what's going to look okay, what's comfortable. Now it's like, dude,

I just go in and grab some stuff. Just go in there and grab some. And that's a win. That's a huge win. That's a daily win. If you think about it, if you want to start your day off knowing, I'm assuming everyone gets dressed in the morning. I don't know anymore these days, but when you do put on clothes, literally to go in

and say, hey, grab anything out of the closet, wear what you want, look good in it, and feels comfortable. You know, I fly all the time and you see people when, when they fly and I'm like, what are they wearing? And everyone says, you know, why do you, why do you dress up? Because are you comfortable? I said, I don't put on uncomfortable clothes. I said, I don't get it.

What are you doing? What are you saying? You buy uncomfortable stuff? No, you're buying, you want to travel the way you want to travel because to you, that's what everybody says to everybody's doing and to look that way. I work hard on myself physically and mentally. All right. There's a lot of things that I do. There's a lot of things that I don't do. And this is who I am. Not because this is the way you want me to be. This is who I am. And when I come in here, I feel like I'm representing not only first form, not only real AF, and for me to show up differently than I would to any other place, and it would be disrespectful to the individuals in this room. That means I don't care as much.

Damn, dude, I'm going to put on a suit. I know, I feel bad. I feel guilty here because it's safe to say you've taught me a lot of things, right? I feel comfortable saying that. Can I teach you something? Yeah. You said it's safe to say that everybody gets dressed in the morning and i tell you you're doing it incorrectly but you should be trying to get undressed in the morning and start your day off right you know what i'm saying that's i try to start that's a superpower assuming you're wearing anything at all when you go to sleep but sleeping naked's kind of weird right no it's freeing no

you sleep naked fuck yeah i sleep really hell yeah i sleep naked No, you sleep naked? Fuck yeah, I sleep naked. Really? Hell yeah, I sleep naked. Jim, you sleep naked? You just covering your ass. No, no, no, no, I do. That's why I get dressed. That's why I get dressed. That's why I get dressed in the morning. Let me tell you guys.

Also, also, also, also, hold on. Also, let me tell you. If you ain't dressed, you ain't got to get undressed. You know what I'm saying? What's the median age in this room? What do you got? Right now, it's probably like fucking 70. Oh, really? I would say 32.

Yeah, I think it's fair. All right, 35 years. All right? I'm in the upper echelon in the 50s. All right? Trust me. When you get to that age age the time when you sleep and how often you have to get

get up to use the bathroom you'll not you'll not if anything you'll remember from this podcast 20 years from now you're gonna be like fucking Grover was right

no dude I think I think you know to your point dude a lot of people they don't know like like before i really got serious about you know getting getting my physical state together and now i hover in the same you know 12 pound range which really doesn't change my clothes like my suits pretty much fit the same whether i'm at the top of that or at the bottom of that. And so it's, but before that, bro, I didn't realize that like all your clothes are comfortable

when you're actually in shape. You know, that's something most people have never been. So they don't realize that, you know what I'm saying? They don't, they don't realize what a luxury it is to be able to walk in and put a suit on and then fly on an airplane and still be comfortable. Like I'm just wearing regular shit. Right. Because when I was fat, it was like, oh shit, dude, when did I have this suit? Uh, when did I get this suit? Right. Like, oh, I got it 30 pounds ago and I'd have to wear, I'd have to wear the dude. I went to many weddings and many formal events with like a piece of elastic strung between the, the, the clip that clips your suit pants and, and the,

and the actual clip part, you know what I'm saying? So I would put a piece of elastic in there and you, you would never really be able to see it because the belt would cover it. You know what I'm saying? Like people don't think about shit like that. But you know what? That just shows when individuals,

Andrew, by sharing that, that just shows you're just like everybody else. You have the same issues that everybody else had, but you were able to overcome it. Those were wins for you, and consistently, it's a battle. It is a battle just because,

listen, the fat gene is in all of us. It is called food. It tastes good. Yeah. And you know what else feels good? Not doing shit. Yeah, exactly. Which is, which is easy, which is easy to, which is easy to do. And we've all, everybody in this room at some point chose easy over winning. We did. We did. But most people, once they get to easy, they stay at easy. Dude, most people choose easy over winning many times a day.

Yeah. Over the course of the day. That's because they don't start the day off with a win. Yeah. That's why I said- That's a big deal. I used to be a guy who was not really like a morning routine. People like people used to ask me,

they'd be like, what's your morning routine? I'm like, what does it really fucking matter? Because like I'm producing the result, right? Like you and I agree on this, you know,

like I don't give a fuck what I got to go through as long as the result is there. But then I actually started like keeping myself to a routine, just my own routine. And dude, it's a huge deal to start off with a minute. It really is. Like my first thing that I like to do when I wake up is I started listening to a little bit of Huberman's podcast.

I don't know if you have listened to him, but I don't listen to the podcast because I don't have time, but I've seen a couple of clips where he's talking about like early, early morning sunlight in your eyes. So like what I like to do is get out and do cardio right away, like as quickly as possible. And where I was doing my cardio afternoon and I was lifting in the morning, I've now switched where I'm doing my cardio first thing and just getting out and moving and getting that sun in my eyes, bro, when I'm done with that, I feel like I have all the momentum in the world already going, you know? And that's something my eyes, bro, when I'm done with that, I feel like I have all the momentum

in the world already going, you know? And that's something that like I didn't need before, but it sure does feel good to have, you know? Well, when you talk about, when you talk about, you know, routines and so forth, I say there's two different types of routines and both routines create comfort. Both routines create comfort. There's routine that creates comfort out of boredom, meaning you do the same thing every single day over and over and over again. And it doesn't advance you. It keeps you in the same place. So it puts you, it's out of boredom and puts you in comfort. All right. Then there's a routine out of skill. You know, your workout, your sunlight. All right. That's a routine out of skill. And what that does, that also creates comfort because you do it over and over and over and over again. That's, you know, it's just like when you work with an athlete or you work with an individual.

You and I joked about this. You said, I don't know how many episodes of this podcast that you've done all together, but you said, it took me 150 before I finally got this thing right. No, it took me 150 not to suck. Okay, it took you 150, right. It was 150 not to suck.

According to some people, I still suck. Yeah. I sent him a text jokingly. I said, I think I was 149. But see, what I'm trying to say

is that routine over and over and over again, all right, through skill created the comfort for you to be at this level,

not out of boredom. It is weird. It's a weird thing to try to explain to someone. It's acclimation. When I try to explain this to people, I try to talk to them in terms of getting in a cold swimming pool. Right. Like, well, I'm not talking about cold plunge. Like most people never really acclimate to the cold plunge. I'm talking about just like, you know,

it's in the summertime, dude, it's a hundred degrees outside pools, a little cold. All right. You get in, you're like, Oh,

you're like, fuck, it's cold in here. And you look around and you know, everybody's like looking at you like, fuck. And then like you get in the water. Right.

And then three, four minutes later, you're like, I don't even notice it. Yeah, jump in the water. Yeah. And that's what happens when you start. And that no matter what you choose, no matter if you choose the easy way, that's going to lead you to losing. It's going to lead you to frustration. That's going to feel comfortable.

But if you put in just a little bit of time, like a little bit of time, and when I'm talking about a little bit of time, I don't mean a day. I mean a few months of your time. Okay. In the big scheme of things, getting uncomfortable, you will eventually find yourself in a state of comfort in this thing that you think is uncomfortable now, which will actually produce an entire different life. And you'll be just as comfortable as you are doing nothing. And that's, that's like the

hard thing to get people to understand is like, once you're acclimated, it's, it's the baseline of it is automatic, right? Like the true champions. And you know, this way better than me, but like the true champions, that baseline is established and then they try to push, push, push, push, push. Always, always pushing. Yeah, but the baseline doesn't erode. No. Which keeps them at a much higher level than most people just by breathing. And most people will never put in the time to let themselves become comfortable with the discomfort to where it becomes automatic. Yeah.

And that's the key, what you just said. It's about the time. They want things now. Yeah. All right. They're like, you know, you come in and they're like, you know, give me a six-week program. Well, I give you a six-week program. That's just a prerequisite. Yeah. Yeah. You got to do it the rest of your life, though. program. That's just a prerequisite.

Yeah. You got to do it the rest of your life, though. Yeah. That's just a prerequisite. Sure. We give you a six-week program. We give you a six-week talk. We give you whatever.

But that's just a prerequisite. You know, when people talk about this, and, you know, everybody in this room has gone through this, and when we talk about different levels of winning, I talk about, you know, what is your price of all in? When people come up to me, man, I'll do anything until I tell them what my definition of anything is. Or I ask them what their definition of all in. And people come in and just say, know oh i'm a i'm a hard worker i get up early i i i stay i stay late i do all that i said that's not all that's a prerequisite

dude that's the base that's that's what i'm talking about yeah that's the base yeah that's just like everybody in this that's the price of admission to the entry-level version of success yes everybody's working that hard. Everybody's doing those things. Now we have to push further. Yes. Well, we talk about this with our team, Andrew. It takes 42 days of development of habit to even start to see the progress of success, whether it's in a weight loss journey, whether it's in a success journey. And it's not making the list harder and harder. So if you're doing your five things, like my five things every day, I have to work out, I have to track my food, I have to read

10 pages, I have to have some sort of reflection time, I have to have family time. I have to prioritize those things. Not half in, not half out. No, because if you don't prioritize them, it's not happening. Yeah. And it's on the front side of the bell curve. And I don't have to add more to the list. I have to prioritize the things that get me moving in the right direction. And I don't have to add more to the list. I have to prioritize the things that get me moving in the right direction. And I have to use the power of compounding interest, which is daily. I have to stay disciplined to the process daily to get myself into a point where I can buy into the success. And it's going to take, it takes 40 days, it takes 50 days.

Yeah. But what you find after that 40, what happens after that? Then you start to see success. And it goes, what? Slower or faster? It starts to speed up. It's compounds. And I think that's the piece of getting comfortable being uncomfortable, right? It's just development, the discipline, and what happens when you break it. Now you're uncomfortable because you broke the habit. Break the routine.

I think part of the problem is too, man, is like we always heard growing up that 21 days for a new habit, 21 days for a new habit. 21 days, that might be true. There might be some science behind it. And there is. But that 21 days is not, like, that's not the habit is you now. That's like you're the beginning of a new habit. Like that's the start. That's just the start of your foundation. That's all it is. It's just, it's a win. Yeah. It's a win. It's definitely a win, but everybody, listen, what we forget to do is we forget to consistently work on our foundation. You know, those are your principles that you said, hey, this is what I do. That makes your foundation so strong. So if anything else doesn't work, because anything else is not

controllable, you control those things because the rest of the things that are going to happen in the day are uncontrollable. If your foundation is strong, your foundation is solid, it's something that you do every single day. You can't control the uncontrollable, but what it makes the uncontrollable easier to manage because you always have this foundation that this is my principles. These are my cores. This is what I do. But what happens is you didn't start with five. Everybody talks about it. It's like when you had the New Year's resolution come in or you had the workout system come in. Everybody says, okay, they've been – and you talk about this, Andrew, all the time.

At the beginning of the year, you haven't worked out all, you haven't worked out all year. You've been eating, you've been eating like shit. You've been drinking, you've been doing all the different things. And then all of a sudden a date on the calendar switches and you says, I'm going to go work out three hours a day. I'm not going to eat this food anymore. I'm going to stop drinking. I'm going to do all this. I'm going to do, do all that. Three days later you're done because you didn't build a foundation.

You didn't build a foundation. And if you did build a foundation, you built too much. You put too much weight on that foundation. Like you start off with one thing. Hey, this is what I'm going to do. Then you add number two. Then you add number three. Then you add number four.

Then you add number five. After you know the foundation could handle the first thing, then it can handle the second thing that can handle the third thing. That's how you stack your wins. When you were talking about the building the foundation, another thing too that I could add to that, because I agree with everything that you're saying, The other part of that is that when you, like so many people feel so uncertain and so out of control, right? Like they feel like even successful people, and dude, I know that you've probably dealt with this a million times with athletes. They feel like their world can be

crushed at any given moment, right? Like something could happen and it can, things do happen. Like, you know, sometimes your world can collapse all at once, but by building this foundation, you're creating a scenario where you are consistently doing these things that other people are not doing. And because other people are not doing it, and because this is a competition when it comes to terms of success, what you're doing by continuing to build on this foundation is you're actually creating security for your success. Because the uncontrollable things that come in, if your foundation is strong, those things are not going to likely crush you. And even if they do crush you and you're, and let's just say you lose

your business, you lose your fucking sports career, whatever. If you continue to operate on that standard where you're, where you're building the space every day and continue to push, you're going to be right back where you were before you know it because the momentum never really slows down. And this is why I'm such a big proponent of looking at it as, you know, a daily, a daily thing. You know, this is not so I, I feel like so many people misunderstand and overcomplicate how because dude winning is really fucking simple. Is it easy? Absolutely not. But it's very simple. And we overcomplicate it by looking at it as like over the course of our life. You know, it's kind of like that saying, if you take care of the pennies, the dollars take care of themselves. Well, if you take care of the days and you win the days, your life's going to look like

a win when you're all said and done. And so if we could just get people to understand that's how it really works, because before, before I had ever done anything of significance, which I still don't feel like I've done that much significant stuff, but like, dude, you know, we, we've done some things at this point in my life. I always thought there was more magic to it. I always thought there was more mystery to it. I always thought there was more mystery to it. And there was more like,

there were secrets that people weren't telling me. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, like it can't just be do your shit today and then do your shit tomorrow and then do your shit the next day. And if you do those things and you keep doing those things, your life is going to turn out exactly what you plan it to be.

Like, it can't be that except here I am on the other side of that thinking and i'm telling you that's exactly what it is and so many people have a hard time understanding that in the beginning because winning and and being a champion because like dude let's let's be real like you guys like me and you and you and we we don't we don't exist for for getting by. Like now you have to be someone who has a mindset of dominating or kicking ass or winning at a high level to really get our content anyway. And so when we really break this down and we think about. How it really works, you know, the reason it's so confusing to most people is because they

never get to meet a real champion in real life ever. Like, think about that. Like you're surrounded by these people all the time. I am too at this point, right? Like I don't even have conversations with people that aren't doing that. Neither do you. Okay. Like everybody I know, everybody I personally text with, you know, they're either a cleaner or they're close to being a cleaner. They're on their way to being a cleaner, right? Real talk. And so we, we're so immersed in it now that it's like obvious. It's like, oh, okay, well, this makes perfect sense. But you know, it's hard to get someone who's never been around it at all or never even known one single person. Cause I remember dude, like when, like, remember like, dude, we didn't grow up around fucking people with Ferraris and shit like that. Like, or whatever. Right. Like we grew

up around like working class electricians and construction people. And so like, you know, I used to be mystified when I would see like, um, somebody that had like, like when our buddy had that, uh, that Mosler remember, and they had these exotic cars and this crazy shit. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, how the fuck do you do this? This is crazy. And then, but the reality is, is it's not crazy at all. It's just very simple formula that you have to repeat every single day. It's crazy to think that you can't. That's, that's what I'm saying. So you brought up two interesting, interesting points that I want to, like, I wish I could just inject people with like some reality of that. Yeah. Well, you have. You know what I'm saying. But people aren't, that injection hurts. Yeah.

That injection hurts. All right. So here's the thing that you said people are, they're looking for their wins. But what they forget that winning is looking back at them and it's a stare down. It's a stare down. Winning's looking at you and

wants to make you blink, wants to make you turn into a different direction. It's like literally a face-off in an MMA fight or boxing where they're going back at each other. And like winning knows exactly what you're doing, what you're looking at, and so forth. It wants you to blink. It wants to force you into it. It wants to force you in a different direction because it wants to see how worthy you are. So it's literally a face-off. It's a face-off.

And the other thing that I want to talk about is when you talked about having that foundation and when things do crumble, you can get back. And I always like to give real examples. Hell, this is a fucking real AF. So I like to give perfect examples. Before you actually, you even said it, for seven years, I was just bullshitting around and so forth. Then I got really, really serious. Andrew, imagine seven, eight years ago if you would have tore your shoulder up back then. It would have ruined my life. Okay.

Yeah. If whatever you were just recently going through. Imagine that if you didn't build the seven years of the foundation and things, and people think, oh, I won't say things crumbled for you, but they got extremely difficult. But those seven years of constantly building that foundation, stacking that win every single day, staring it down, doing something that was uncomfortable. When that shoulder hits you and that other element hits you, like you said, if it was back then, you were done. Yeah. There's no question. And guys, you guys, just so you understand, Tim and I talk about this personally, like this is, he knows about this

whole scenario and everything we've talked about, but dude, you, you, I think about that. Like I, I, I like between the time. So for those of you who don't know, I, I totally destroyed my shoulder. I had, I, uh, had a full shoulder rebuild. Um, I, I had the injury September of 21. I had a full shoulder rebuild. I had the injury September of 21. I had surgery in December of 21. And it's been an entire, it took me an entire year to really be able to lift again. And during that time, you asked like, what would have happened? Here's what would have happened. Because I was in the best shape I'd ever been when I got hurt.

All right. And I'm not far off from that right now. I'm probably, by the end of this round of 75 hard. I will have surpassed that in my opinion. What would have happened? Let me change it. It won't be an opinion. It'll be a fact. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to be humble. Yeah. Fuck. Don't try this. You motherfuckers are going to see. Yeah. We're not, we're not trying a new recipe here. That one don't taste as good. Yeah, all right. I respect that. You're one of the two men I'll take some direction from.

Yeah. I like that. So yeah, so anyway, motherfuckers, I'm going to be more jacked and tanned than you ever fucking saw me before. In 75 days, all right? You quote me on that shit. Yeah.

But what would have happened, bro, is I would have 100%, what would have happened? He would have been at Billy G's, which is a local bar. He'd have been drinking. He would have eaten. How much weight do you think I would put on? 50, 60.

I would have been a plus three. Yeah, without question. I would say you go from 270 to 320. Yeah, I would say I would be in a 320 range. I wouldn't be full 350, Andy, but I'd be 315, 320. And I'd be walking around being like, oh, you know, I just hurt my shoulder. Fucking fuck me. And I'd be telling all the bullshit.

All the bullshit. You'd be able to throw a football over the mountains. Yeah, that's right. But the whole, the real win for me, the real win dude was that like, so I, the surgeon that did it, uh, Dr. Nathan mall, great dude. He's like, look, it's, this is a nine month surgery for a pro athlete. So my goal was like, okay,

I train like a pro athlete. I eat like a pro athlete. I'm going to fucking be back. And I wasn't okay. And that was very hard for me to take. You remember the conversation we had when you caught, when you, when you said,

when you said way harder than that. Yeah. I said, I said, yeah, this is not, I knew his man. You know what? And there's a thing. I was trying to do it in like five months. Right, I said, yeah, this is not. I knew his man. You know what?

And here's the thing. Well, I was trying to do it in like five months. Right. He was trying to do it in five. And when I told him, I said, Andrew, I said, listen, I don't want to discourage you, but I know what you're going through. I know. And you know what?

There was silence on the phone. And this motherfucker hung up the phone on me. Wow. Damn. I don't want to fucking hear it. He didn't want. I'm like hello hello look dude look i i don't want to hear it and and but that's all the that's a product of the six years before that yes 100 because the truth is dude i would have given up i would have used that as an excuse and and i don't

even talk about how hard it really was. Like, like what I say on Instagram, I almost feel like I'm annoying people with the story, but like, if I really told people what I went through from when I had that injury till today, like it was a constant barrage of fucking bullshit. And it wasn't just the shoulder. It was me getting off antidepressants. Then I got a blood infection. Then like then like dude it's been thing after thing after thing and the true win of it bro is that here i am i'm probably not even 10 pounds away from my best condition i've ever been in and uh you know i'm not 330 fucking pounds you know so that's a big win yeah that's a that's a life win for me. Because at my age, that would have changed the direction of my entire life.

Right. And you have to continue to earn that win just because you've gotten that win now. You know, the win that you had to lose all the weight, that was a win. All right. The win after you tore your shoulder up and to come back, that's another win. All right. Well, not back yet. All right.

Well, when you, back yet. We don't win. And then coming back, coming again from this blood affection. Now what I'm trying to say is the same way he won losing the weight is not going to be the same way he's going to win from being 100%

back from the shoulder, being 100% back from the affection. You have to continue to figure out different ways to win, but that foundation never, never changes. It's funny. This is what everybody wants. Everybody wants. They want it quickly, they want it comfortably, and they want it safely. It's not possible. That's why most people don't win. Yeah, it's not possible. You cannot have anything quickly, comfortably, and safely. Do you know what the quick way is? The quick way is to understand what you just said and accept that.

Now you're on the quick path because now you've accepted that there is no quick way. And the actual only way is actually pretty quick too you can do it pretty quick in the relative scheme of your entire life yes but the reason it's not happening quick for you is because you think there's a quicker way and the reason you think there's a quicker way is because people market that shit for the last 30 fucking years 21 days yeah right uh seven day abs you know shit like this okay seven seven pounds of muscle in three days of taking this prop like bro all of these all of this stuff you know millionaire in 12 days like you know all this crazy shit like people have been conditioned to believe that you

know that that's how it works and then when it doesn't work that way for them because that's not the way it works who do they actually blame blame? Do they blame them? Do they blame the people who told them these lies? No, they actually blame themselves. And they say, well, I guess I don't have what it takes to lose weight. Or I don't get, I guess I don't have what it takes to be successful. Or I guess I don't have what it takes to be a good athlete or whatever it is. Fill in the blank. Right. So we blame ourselves and we continue to look for the quick solution because these marketers fucking understand that that's how humans think. Yes. You can't get anywhere.

Forget about the quickly part. All right. Success. All right. You can't get success comfortably being comfortable. You can't. You can't get, you can't get success comfortably being comfortable. You can't. You can't get success being easy. It just can't.

It doesn't come. Wins do not come from being comfortable. All right? They don't come. Yes, you're absolutely right. They do come from quick. You can be quick, but you can't hurry there's a huge there's a huge i'm just saying quick in terms of like like yeah it's not 21 days bro but

it's not fucking 21 years it's within your it's within your lifetime and here's the thing the one thing i mean you could change your fucking life bro like like like we see it every day with 75 hard you can make a massive change in 75 days yes massive in in 75 in 75 days but after that there's a lot of work to do too right but it's listen it's it's not comfortable yeah no it's not comfortable and it's not safe either it's not safe you are it's safe from safe meaning you got to go outside. You know what? I'm going to walk my dog. No, that's not part of the program. You know what? I don't want to do the second workout outside. And the one thing I get so upset about, and you've said this over and over and over again, and this is why one of the reasons people fail because they're not understanding.

75 hard is not a program to win physically. It's a program to win mentally. I believe that's what I've called it the whole time. The whole, but for some reason, everybody just like, because people fucking don't understand, bro, you have to have the mental before the physical is real. The physical byproducts of those 75 days are just a byproduct of your execution. Just like Nick Saban comes out in the fucking football field and says,

motherfuckers, you're running this play until you can't get it wrong. We're not running it until we get it right a couple times. We're running it until you can't fuck it up. When you fucking take your mentality that seriously and you put the time into it and you do these habits and you execute on a day-by-day-by-day basis, now you're in a position to where the win materializes automatically. I just did an Andy Graham blog about this this morning.

I was talking about how champions focus on the execution of the play to perfection, understanding that the score and the money and the shit that comes with it is automatic result of this. And players, people who play, they think that the score, the money is the point of the game. That's not the fucking point of the game. The point of the game is perfect execution over here. This shit just comes with it. And it's the same mentality with entrepreneurs, dude. Entrepreneurs think you like, dude, I mean, you speak as much as anybody. You know what they say when you say, Hey, what's the purpose of a business? 99% say what?

To make money. It's not to fucking make money. That's why you don't make any fucking money. The purpose of the business is to serve the customer. And the better that you serve the customer, the more consistent that you execute the play on the customer. That means taking care of their interest genuinely, solving their fucking problems, doing what you can.

This part happens. It's a byproduct. care of their interests, genuinely solving their fucking problems, doing what you can for this part happens. It's a by-product. And like, dude, this is just a perspective change that if most people would just understand the reason some of these people that like you, like I used to be one of these people. I look at dudes like, like JB, right? Like Jerr Bond, who walks around here looking like a freaking GI Joe character, 24 hours a day. And I'd be like, what the fuck? Like, why can he live his life normal and look like that? And I live my life normal. I look like this. But then I watch what he does. Then I watch what he eats. I watch how he moves. And those things, because he was willing to put in enough time being uncomfortable, are now comfortable for him.

So it's not a struggle. And so he gets to walk around looking like G.I. Joe because he put the time in to be comfortable with some habits that I didn't have. You see what I'm saying? And people don't look at it like that. They get bitter about it. They look at people who are winning and they say, fuck that guy. Well, bro, if you would just remove your emotions and your self-pity for a minute and actually look at the motherfucker winning, you would find out how to win too and it's real simple change a couple

little things bro you could change your whole life by changing what you put in your fucking brain and what you put in your mouth you could change your whole fucking life all life but i think there's some interesting things to unpack there because you know this is a as a listener right they think to themselves well i don't have I don't have that. What? Everybody has the same. Have what? That's it. That's exactly what he said. That's my point.

My point being is, is what, what, what is it? Bro, it's just true. It's a choice. That's right.

What's the magic? Nothing. Doing it. Doing the work. Dude, it's listen, but there's, listen,

dude, you know how absurd it is that i get paid all kinds of money to go tell people this well but i mean it's a lot of money a lot of money yeah it's fucking crazy but you have to think you know like you know people are like oh you're so real i'm like i'm just telling you the fucking truth dude but you you wish it was some shiny package program but the truth is it's not you know and and have to look at, when you look at the deliverable, if you focus on being the best, the byproduct of that is whatever, the money, right? We were talking in my office about everybody focuses on making money.

You should focus on being the best. Focus on executing the best that you can and the result. The money comes. Well, or the result. Say the result. Yeah, right. The weight loss, the money, the score at a basketball game, getting to be an all-star, getting to the Hall of Fame.

It's all the same shit. A marriage, a leader. Whatever it is you're trying to do. Right. Whatever it is that you're trying to do, you have to execute in the finite, in the small things, daily, day after day after day after day. And you have to learn to fall in love with the process, understanding that falling in love with the process is the key to success.

Well, and dude, you have to understand too, like something that you understand just because of your experience. I understand because of my experience is the real fun. The real fucking fun is the process. It's not the result. Like people think it's the result because you haven't experienced it yet. But just like you guys get a new pair of shoes and after a fucking week, it ain't cool anymore that's the same thing for all the shit that you admire that you think is going to fix all your fucking problems it's like a new pair of fucking nikes bro in a week you're not going to give a fuck and that's that's we focus so obsessively on on the end result which is great because it produces

the journey but in reality the journey's the fucking jam i think that's where a lot of the letdown is though right people end up at the destination they say well this is it well i'm guilty of that a little bit no we all you have to go through that yeah but like dude there's there was a time a few years ago and you know you know this because you're my brother and you know this because you're one of the only guys i actually talked to and listen to yoda yeah uh but like where i got i got like there was a part of me and i i think i'm saying this to be transparent so i hope some of you will listen and maybe maybe not do that what i did but like it was so hard to get where we were trying to go it trying to go

and i was so obsessively focused on the result that I forgot a little bit about the journey. Right. And now I look back at some of those times. Like now today when I come in, I try to make it a point to enjoy the people around and like to say, have conversations and like get to know like what's going on. And like, I, I really value that, that, that was, but like for a long time, dude, I was, it was so fucking hard that like I just didn't care about anything but producing a result and like now I

look back at that time and I'm like fuck that was some of the most fun shit we ever did so what what win happened in your life for you to look at things this way now well I think it's a maturity aspect I don't think it's one. Yeah, it wasn't dude.

It was a, there was a point in time a couple of years ago in this where I realized, and this is going to sound fucked up a little bit, but it's the truth. I realized that I couldn't literally show anything of my life, any point of it, not my house, not in my house, not here, not in my garage, not anywhere without people interpreting it as a fucking brag. And I was like, damn, like when you could point a fucking camera at anything in your life and it's fucking, people see it as bragging, you're fucking you you're fucking doing something dude and i realized that right and then i thought about it and i'm like well if i knew i was going to be here and i was going to be at this point in time where you know it's undeniable like it's undeniable

if i would have known that i was going to be there i would have appreciated the ride a little bit more you know what i'm saying and and i would have appreciated a lot more but it's cool it's also cool because now i realize it and i get to appreciate what we're doing now yeah in a different way and so there's pluses and minuses because part of me thinks like it was necessary well yeah part of me is like bro i i was like required to be that way to get to the it's like it's like how you talk about you know how you how, how you talk about how Michael was right. Like when, when he was like, he was so fucked, he didn't give a fuck about anything other than just that. And like, so like when you, this is why I love your book so much because it helps me understand a part of my life. And like,

dude, when, when, um, you know, in the, in the last dance, when he got emotional because like, he realized that like some of his teammates fucking actually still didn't really like him yeah when in reality his whole fucking intent of his being was to make them better yep and like i really resonated with that bro because like just over the course of time you know there's employees that come and go and there's you know i always feel bad when they don't make it because I feel responsible for them. Right. And I have to let, let go and realize like, dude, I'm not responsible for everybody's decisions, but it's still fucking hard. And it's hard when you're, when you're, when you hold a high standard

for people like he did, and then they fucking hate you for it. And all you're trying to do is fucking help them. All you're trying to do is make them better. They might hate you for that moment, but they're never going to, right. They love you long-term. They're going to love you. And that's what I tell everybody. Like I tell those people in RTA, I talk about that on the show too. You know, I'm okay with someone hating me today

to thank me five years from now for saying the truth to them. So it's funny, when we wrote Relentless, when Sherry and I wrote Relentless, we had so many people that came up to us and said, that book changed my life. That book saved me. That book saved me. Yeah, I was one of them. Yeah. That's how I met you.

Yeah. Remember, we met at the first 10X we met at Cardone's event. Yep. We were both speaking. And you were sitting right next to me. Yeah. Remember we met at the first 10X we met at Cardone's event. Yep. We were both speaking. And you were sitting right next to me. Yeah. You were literally sitting right next to me. And before, I think you recognized me before I recognized you.

I did. Because I had been posting your book on my social and we'd been driving some sales. And I remember you looked over and you go, Andy. And I'm like, holy shit, dude, it's Tim Grover. He knows who the fuck I am. I couldn't believe it. Because dude, that real book, and I've told you go, Andy. And I'm like, holy shit, dude, it's Tim Grover. He knows who the fuck I am. I couldn't believe it because dude, that real book. And I've told you this. Yeah. Like I, what I tell you about the book, I told you I wouldn't sell it ever, no matter how much money, not a single one of you motherfuckers out there could buy that book from me for any amount of

money because it saved my fucking life. I've told you that. I told you that. He's told me, he's told me that. He's told me that numerous times. And then when, after winning, after winning came in, I mean, after relentless, relentless was about the mindset.

And then when you guys talked about the, the, the journey winning, if you've read relentless, you have to read winning because relentless is the mindset. Winning is about the journey and what you're going to see, feel, taste along the journey. You know, we talk, you guys talk a lot about the journey and one of the chapters that we talk about all the time that, you know, everyone talks about it's, you know,

it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. So I say, I go the other way. I said, it's multiple sprints within a marathon that has no finish line. Because the only way, when you Utah guys talk about the journey and all that other stuff. So you get that journey. You go through the journey. And there has to be joy in that journey. There has to be joy in that journey. There has to be joy in that journey. All right. You get there.

You get that. You get that win. But to get that feeling again, the sprint starts all over again. Immediately. Immediately. Then there's more joy, and there's another win. So that joy is infinite, and that line continues to move all the time. Look at here.

We talked about this earlier. One building, roughly 200,000 square feet. Second building, roughly 200,000 square feet. Second building, roughly 200,000 square feet. Third building, roughly 200,000 square feet. A sprint within a marathon with no finish line. And the finish line just keeps moving, moving, and moving. And as much doubt that you guys have, you have infinite amount of fear that pushes you towards those things. There's a constant war that's going on in your head. And if that war was to stop, you guys would be dead. You guys would literally be dead. That's that war of that challenge to do more, not only for yourselves.

You've done so much for yourselves. Now it's about what can I do for everyone else? That's the drug, right? That is. It sounds like an addiction. It's not just. It is an addiction. It is an addiction, but you have to trade one addiction for another.

You don't go from being 330 or wherever you were when you first going to be in that photo that you have where you literally got a six pack and you got the veins sticking out of you. You traded one addiction for another. So you have to trade comfort for being uncomfortable at time. You have to trade being sad for joy. You have to trade thinking you have time, understanding your time is limited. All your addictions have to trade thinking you have time understanding your time your time is limited all your addictions have to change you have to losing is an addiction winning is winning is an addiction guys this is because it's almost like there's a a piece of awareness that i think people are missing then right like when you when you when you talk about like addictions right there's a high

and you ask somebody who does drugs why do you get why why do you take drugs the first time there's no because i wanted the high there's no why you do it again i don't think it's just a drug dude like you got i think people need to understand the practicality of what tim's talking about here because this is how dude the reason that you see so many people have a little bit of success and then fail is because they don't understand what he just described they they they take that first sprint and they run it and then they're like well fuck i'm successful and then they create their identity as a successful human right right and don't realize you got another 60 years bro you gotta do it again if you want that's yeah that's the high only lasts for so long. No, the winning only lasts for so long.

And it's so quick. It's so quick. And it's there and it's over and it's a new thing. All right, so I'm going to cut you off for a quick second here. And I like to use real examples of the people that I'm talking about. All right? And this is to what DJ was talking about. When was this building built?

June of 20. June of 20. All right. What was the plans for the next one? We didn't have any. We didn't have any plans for the next one at that time. We thought this was going to take like five years to fill up. Okay.

And how long did it take? Two and a half. No, it didn't take a year. It actually took about a year and fill up. Okay. And how long did it take? Two and a half. No, it didn't. It actually took about, it actually took about a year. Yeah. So now one building, if you would have said this is success and this is it. But I,

I, that's where the point I was going is to buy in. I think the 75 hard, like you get to 75. Now what? That's the buy-in. Well, that's why it's,

that's why it's live hard. Not 75. But my point being is like the people the people get to the destination and so I'm done no motherfucker you just got started that's that's the catch you know that's why I get so pissed off when I see people go right back to their old shit the first fucking second they get an opportunity to they missed the point stick bro like that and the reason it didn't stick by the way is because you weren't doing the shit the exact right way that that that i am now are there exceptions yes because people get pissed when i say this shit because they're like well i did everything and i celebrated yeah okay but what happened right after you celebrated right you felt like you should have felt guilty right and so sometimes it takes the first time going like

i can understand that but what i'm saying is in general when you've made a ton of positive momentum in your life and you go right back to the thing that created the old way you're you're going to feel that if you really made the positive way you should be trying to replicate that well and i want to highlight a couple things here here because, you know, you talk about, you know, you get paid a lot to do these things. You're, you're, you're teaching them perspective. This is what you pay for. You're paying for perspective in life. And I think about like, well, you say, oh, well, you know, it's not on our responsibility, but the coaches you remember the most and the coaches you care about the most, the coaches that taught you the most were also the most, you were the most accountable

to. They were, they demanded the most out of you. No question. So those are the ones that you hated the most at times. Yeah. Right? They required the most out of you. They ran your fucking ass off. They beat the shit out of you. You motherfucked them to and from practice, but they're the ones that taught you the most about life. Yeah. So it's part of our obligation as that generation of coaching, right? Because that's what we do. We coach young people, ideally in a young audience or a young business person or an entrepreneur. You're supposed to be firm. You're supposed to hold a high standard. I think that's the purpose of being the leader.

And then the secondary thing is the perspective piece. There's a perspective to understanding your point of, hey, my life looks like this, but I forgot about the journey. And so now you coach to the journey. You coach to saying, hey, you need to appreciate the ride. And I wanted to hit fast forward too. And the things that I missed when I hit fast forward where I didn't, I weren't taking inventory of the things that were closest to my life. And those are journey pieces. And this is the struggle that we have as leadership now. You're speaking to a 20-year-old or a 25-year-old. They want to hit

the fast forward button. Yeah. And miss some of but in miss the fucking one of the, some of the most fun shit and you miss everything. Some of the most fun shit in our business journey was me and Chris in the back of that first fucking store, which I, at the time I fucking hated, I was so embarrassed of it. You know what I mean? It's a story that you hold that nobody else holds, right? It's kind of like me driving around the country. I was, you know, last week when we were on a thing, it's like, it's a story that not only am I proud of- No one can take it. Nobody can take it from you. So the intangible assets, which are the ones that build you into the character that you are today, the work is done in the dark when it's not sexy, when it's not fun,

when it's not cool. And that's the piece that makes it special. So when you learn to fall in love with that dark work, you're going to start to build the moments that really define who you are as a human. That's the fucking beauty of it. It's a weird love process because you're by yourself. You're not really proud of it, but it's the work that's got to be done in order to be successful in it.

I got a big saying with winning. I ask people this, and maybe you guys have heard this or read this already. This is not a trick question. All right. When does a new day start? Starts at midnight. Starts at midnight. Is it daylight or dark at midnight? Dark. It's dark. So if a new day and new beginning starts in the dark, when you're in your darkest moment,

when you're sitting in the back of the store, when you're whatever you're dealing with, that's where your new beginning is starting. That in the dark, that's where all your new beginnings start. If a new day starts there, that's where your new beginning is starting. That in the dark, that's where all your new beginnings start. If a new day starts there, that's where your new beginnings start. But you don't realize that until so many, how many years later? Well, you've got to stop fucking feeling sorry for yourself. Yeah.

You got to stop saying, oh, you know, life wasn't fair to me. Oh, these circumstances aren't fair. Oh, other people have it easier. So fucking what if they have it easier? So that you're going to waste your whole fucking life because some other motherfucker had it easier than you? That doesn't make any fucking sense. At some point, you got to stop telling people about your hopes and dreams

and you got to start telling them about your decisions and actions. But you got to show them. That's it. Yeah, man. You got it. That's it. There you go. I think most people could do themselves a massive service by just being completely honest with the amount of effort they're giving.

No one wants to have an honest conversation with themselves. They don't. They want you to be. They always tell you, you know, winning requires honesty. Winning requires honesty. It requires you to look in that mirror. And when that mirror is looking back at you, it requires you to see things that you're not willing to see.

Because people look in the mirror. Boy, I tell you, you get some different lighting up in those things. Boy, you can change the way you look completely. I was in a hotel. I was in the bathroom. I was like, damn, I look good. Take a picture. Yeah, yeah.

I did not take a picture, but I was like. But, you know, there's a lot of illusions in there that we're not aware of, that we fall into. But it's keeping that mindset. It's understanding that focus. It's understanding what it's going to take. And then once you're understanding, actually going to do it. And winning requires you. Everyone wants to add stuff. Andy, how'd you get in physically and mentally in the best condition you were ever in? And you're going to take that to another level. It wasn't by adding things.

It was by deleting things. It was by deleting the unessentials. And that's what you're doing now. The reason you enjoy so much more of the journey and you can see here and this different personality. Hell, you went, when was the last time you went on a vacation before this one? 10 and a half years. 10 and a half years. Yeah. Did you even know what to do on this vacation?

No, it was weird. He called me and it was, what the fuck do you do? I almost came home. So Sal, I talked to Sal on probably what, Wednesday? I got there on Monday and I almost came home cause it was very uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. I have to,

next time I have to go for like probably like two full weeks, um, to eat. Cause it wasn't like I was gone. It was very, it was, but it wasn't, you know what I'm saying?

It was weird. And that's crazy for, for him, his new win was the complete, is what everybody's been doing their whole life. Chilling, relaxing, trying to relax. You're like, I had years and years. Oh, bro, I was having major, like major, like, I mean,

you could fucking ask emily about it like the whole time it was it was not a uh it was not a mentally comfortable thing for me to do at all yeah like at all like maybe the last day i and i think the reason i felt better was because i knew i was going home no and it wasn't that i didn't enjoy the trip. Like, it was fucking beautiful. The food was great. Everybody was cool. You know, it was just, I'm. Well, it's uncomfortable. It was very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

Very. Yeah. Like, it made me realize it did make me, and that's where the eye-opening part of it was for me, was like, I realized, like, bro, you need to, like, do a couple things. You know what I'm saying? Because, like, you know, like, you know, with Kobe, right? Like I look at Kobe and I'm like, fuck dude, this, here's a dude when he passed away or roughly the exact same age who worked his whole life, worked hard. So like, and I know, I know what he was telling him and you, you, you know, you,

you, you probably really know this, but I already already know in his head he was probably telling himself all right now i did all this now i'm gonna i'm gonna start balancing out the other way yeah and he never got the chance never never got never got the full chance it was funny that was an eye-opening thing for me yeah so sherry said sherry said hey look at uh look at andy's post looked at andy's post she goes he vacation. I said, get the fuck out of here. He's not on vacation. Get the fuck out of here. I said, no way. She goes, no, he's not. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's on vacation. I looked at it. You have no idea how proud I was of you that day. And I wasn't going to call you or text you because I was like, no, this is not the time. Not the time. I said, when I get a chance to see him, I'm going to say, Andy, you have no idea in your overall growth of a human, as a person, as a role model, as an example, how of a major step this was. This was as uncomfortable as it was.

As comfortable as it was. Uncomfortable. Don't be too proud huge no you almost came back but you didn't but you but you didn't you didn't all right when people go through live hard you know in 75 days you know you almost may have picked up a slice of pizza. You may have almost picked up alcohol. You have almost may have not done the second workout, but you did. Yeah. I appreciate it, man. It was definitely super weird. Yeah. You know, I, I, I'm going to start, I made a new rule where at least once a quarter, I'm going to go somewhere at this point in my life. That's realistic for me. Oh,

you know, I appreciate that, man. No, it's, it's a truth. Listen, you know,

listen, we're, we're in a room with there's minimal BS. Yeah. If, if, if none at all, you know,

with how many times do I call you all the time? And I see DJ sneaking, sneaking out of here when I'm just about to talk about him? All right. Talk about him when he's not here. We all do. How often do I call or text you to make sure you're on his ass?

Yeah, enough to get him down 70 pounds. 70 pounds. Last time I checked, it was 50. Yeah. Yeah, he's down about 70 pounds since we started with him. Yeah. So, and here it is.

And I'm all, I know because you know why I said he is a reflection of your standards. Yeah. I told him exactly what you said. Yeah. Like you text me that you, you, I fucking went and showed him the text.

I said, Hey, look, dude, you gotta get your shit together. Yeah. You got to. Yeah.

Next day he was on it. He lost another 30 pounds right after that. That's that's on, but that's crushing it now. You know, that, that's what, that's what it is. So what he did was he understood, he thought he raised his level of winning. He raised his level. Absolutely. And the problem, a lot of the issues that we have is your level of winning is so much higher than everybody else's. My level of winning, Sal's level, Sal's levels of winning. People automatically say those things are not obtainable.

We were all in the same spot at some point. We were all in the spot at the same point. For us to get that high that only winning can give us, it's a different level of a win, but it wasn't at some point. It was here. And then we always start back with a new win at the base level. Your vacation is an example. I want to give people that there's no superheroes in here. This isn't a DC or Marvel movie, all right? We live in the real life. We live in the real world, all right?

Winning is watching you. It's knowing if you're telling the truth. it's no, if you, if you're, if you're lying, it does. And all winning wants to do is to find somebody else. Winning's job is to, it's one and only job is not to let you win. It's not, it's not. And I said, man, it's easy. It's not supposed, it's not supposed to be, it's not supposed to be easy.

You're going to have to deal with, you're going to have to deal. When you start, when it hit, and I like to use the parallel now of live hard and winning. All right. And the reason you call it a mental toughness program. Because what happens is before you can start in to live hard and start to win, before you can start, before you get in that race and start chasing what's on the other end, you better deal with what's chasing you first. Winning wants you to require and deal with what's chasing you first because you're running from something that you need to deal with. And you need to stop, have a conversation with that thing that's chasing you. And it may have been chasing you for years.

You need to let that thing catch you. You need to own it. You need to have a conversation. You need to have a conversation with it. You need to understand that. You need to have a conversation. You need to have a conversation with it. You need to understand that it's a part of you. It's a part of your life. It's a part of your greatness. It's a part of who you need to be with.

And take that part with you in the journey. Well, now you're talking about dark side. All right? You have to take it in the journey. That's a whole other podcast. right. You have to take it in the journey. That's, that's a whole nother podcast. Yeah. You take that,

you will end up on the other side of winning every single time. You will end up with a success of live hard every single time. How much do you think that people who choose not to go on the journey, who choose not to fucking continue to win, how many of those people do you think choose to not go as the way that they could go because of their dark side and what they're afraid of they have done in the past or who they are or the shit that people are going to find out about them or all the shit like how many of players do you think that keeps on the fucking bench 90 i think it does too dude 90 i think it does think people have, I think society has gotten so fucking like virtue signal washed and like the appearance because of social media has to be so perfect and squeaky clean that every single person out there, like not every single, there's people that

don't give a fuck. They're like, yeah, I'm fucking who the fuck I am. I'm one of those people. But most people aren't like that. Most people know that they've done some shit in the past or they have a little secret here or there. And they're afraid that if they go and people know them, that they're going to find out and their life's going to be ruined. Bro, let me tell you something. Your life's going to be ruined if you don't fucking go. Your life's going to be ruined if you don't fucking try. And every single person that you look at out there who's successful that you admire, that you think like, fuck dude, that would be a cool life to have. I'm not talking

about whoever that might be. I promise you whatever dark side secrets that you have about yourself, they're very parallel in those people. 100, 100%, 100%. Listen. So you can't let those things and those insecurities keep you on the bench, right? Yeah. You have to let those things, like what Tim's saying is, bro, you have to accept yourself and who you are. That doesn't mean be a piece of shit, but that means to understand that you're a human being and that you have these things about you. And those things will actually fuel you if you accept them about yourself and the reason they fuel you is because it's like removing a massive weight it's like you're carrying this fucking weight uh you know i i have i have

some friends some of my favorite people dude are people who have really like gone through some shit and i have a couple close friends who uh have gone to prison before and so they understand you know going through hard shit and and and i've had to talk to both of these people that i'm thinking about about like them understanding that that should be a lesson that they serve up to other people about how to not end up there instead of something to hide and be afraid of and something to be ashamed of and carry around. Like you have to allow these things to be and figure out how they're going to serve you and leverage that into your future path. And so many people, because we have this society

that pretends to be perfect or pretends to be polished, when in reality, everybody's got bullshit below the surface. Everybody. Every fucking one of them, dude. Everybody. And they all lie about it. They all lie. It makes regular people with with amazing potential and amazing uh potential

for skills and solving problems this is why i hate cancel culture so much i think it's fucking super damaging because how many people are afraid to get in the fucking game and contribute what they could contribute because they've got a story of some sort. And I think it's a lot. I think there's a lot of things in humanity that are suppressed that could be out there in the world serving good if people would just realize like, hey, of course you have some secrets or you have some things you're not proud of. That's called being a human being. 100%. And what I do, listen, where people go, when you open up, when you get up and I'm going back to the morning routine about putting on your clothes, you choose your clothes, right?

You choose your clothes. What are you going to wear on the morning? Every single morning while you're choosing your clothes, your choice after that should be your thoughts You get to choose your thoughts You get to choose your thoughts every single morning Not nobody else You get to choose your thoughts

Now when you get other people start choosing your thoughts Now you're in a completely different race And then after you do that Everybody in here I'm assuming you keep your clothes in a completely different race. And then after you do that, when you, everybody in here, I'm assuming you keep your clothes in a closet, right? All right. So where do people always want to put their skeletons? In a closet.

So guess what? You open up that closet and you get to choose your clothes. You get to choose your thoughts. Your skeletons are sitting right there looking at you. Put them motherfuckers on too. There you go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's sitting right there looking at you. Put them motherfuckers on too. There you go. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. That's it right there. That's it right there because not a single individual in this room right now, if you want to win, if I took your skeletal system away, what would happen? You would die. You couldn't walk. You couldn't move.

You couldn't move. Your skeletons are the ones that, man, in the journey, in that journey to those wins along the way, man, those are your buddies. Those are your partners. Those are your allies. They understand. They're the ones that you can have – they're the ones that can have conversations with.

They're the individuals I sit down with and open up a bottle of tequila and have a conversation, have a conversation with because they know me better than anybody else. And they're nonjudgmental. They are nonjudgmental. They're like, yeah, you remember that? Yeah, we were there fucking with you when you did that. But I mean, think about that, too, though. You know, it's your superpower. Yes.

It's not just your friend, you know? And I, I mean, for, for me, like when what I, it's consequently the thing I'm most insecure about is my physicality, my body, which is kind of funny, right? We're in the physical fitness game. But when I realized that my insecurity was also my story and also my strength

to be able to communicate to other individuals, it became my superpower because I tell people all the time, I speak fat, man. I know what it's like. I can, I can look through that screen. not only that, you battle it every single day. Every day. It became my superpower because I tell people all the time, I speak fat, man. I know what it's like. I can look through that screen. Bro, not only that, you battle it every single day. Every day. It's my addiction. We all do. But you got to learn to embrace it. Maybe you don't.

But I mean, you have to learn to embrace that because there's a story behind that that will encourage and inspire and help other people through that journey. And I think when you can learn to embody your struggle as a part of your success, it becomes your superpower. It's a, it's a language that nobody else speaks except the people that struggle with the same thing that you do, which allows you to speak to them. You know, and that's the part, like you're, you're holding all this shit back. But the truth of the matter is that's where all the success fucking lies. Cause it's your cheat code. So one thing I understand better than anything. Bro, not only that, let them fucking talk, bro. It's free traffic.

Let them say what the fuck they're going to say, bro. Drive you right up the fucking charts. I know a thing or two. I've seen a thing or two. No, for real, though. There are people who are like, oh, how do you guys help people lose weight? You guys are fat. That's actually the trick.

Right. I fucking understand it. Do you think a lot of it is also people giving them the giving themselves i guess the permission like you gotta understand like that like that is who you were that's not who you are anymore right like those skeletons in your closet like that's no longer you i think that's a fucking super important point because people are going to hear it so it's a part of you. I think that's like, there's a step. You know,

it's also important to recognize that those things that you are not proud of are also the things that have gotten you to a point where you recognize that you're not proud of those things so you don't behave that way anymore.

It's not valuable to you. Right. Right. But they also serve in a different way and nobody really talks about this they also remind you what you're capable of doing and why you should be careful and why you should work to move to be better consistently because if you were capable then you're likely capable now if you change your behavior and the thought process, okay? Because, like, people like to tell me, right? Like, they like to say, like, you know, you guys,

most of you guys have seen the pictures of when I was big and fat as fuck and when I'm in shape. I seen the whole video you posted. It wasn't just a thing. You're getting out of bed, rolling out, sitting at the edge of the bed and everything. Yeah, I mean, dude, that's real shit, though. That is.

It's 100% real. People see that. Fuck, I forgot where I was going. What was the point I was making? You transitioned. I'm out. Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay.

People see that, and they like to say to me, they like to say, well, bro, that version of you is dead. Shit. The fuck it is. The fuck it is. The fuck it is, bro. You want to see a motherfucker put on some 100 pounds where I do it faster than anybody. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

And like, dude, that's the thing that you got to remember when you look at the shit that you've done in the past that you're not proud of, that makes you feel guilty and shameful. You have to accept, okay okay that these have served you right we talked about this on the episode we did with lewis yeah um where you have to accept that these things you need to forgive yourself for these things and accept that this is what's got you on a new course of behavior but you also need to remember that you could very easily be that again if you don't fucking watch yourself or you know what i'm saying so like they serve a number of different ways they also serve in ways that like people don't even talk about like disrespect is an amazing motivator bro like

when you can figure out when you can figure out um you know this is this is one of the most amazing motivators actually when you can figure out how you've disrespected yourself, you want to, you want to fucking, you want to get on a quick path to fucking be in real good. A lot of shit in your life. Figure out all the ways you've been disrespecting yourself and get pissed about it.

Yeah. And then you can laugh at it. Yeah. You can laugh. You know, it's just, you get, obviously you get way many more comments on your social media than I.

No, I don't post anymore. Okay. So you get more than me. All right. Yeah. Well, I'm talking about all your out of volume media. I get stuff, different people. I just laugh at it.

I think it's funny. I'm like, somebody actually took the time out of their day to say something negative about something they don't i read your comments and i think your comments that you get are negative or funny as fuck too yeah because because it's people like you're there it's usually on the relentless book that people make comments about because it's so far above their level of fucking understanding what winning is about that they can't comprehend any of it yeah like and i'm like i read a couple negative comments one time on your shit and i'm like holy shit people like this actually exist yeah like they like but we talked about this today

i was talking about you know not everybody was raised with a dad like we had right this is the power of information that you know and so we you mean a dad that made us look like oompa-loompas yeah i mean hey took us to sam's taught us some values and along the way we were listening to And this is the power of information that, you know, and so we- You mean a dad that made us look like Oompa Loompas? Yeah. I mean, hey, it took us to Sam's, taught us some values. And along the way, we were listening to Zig Ziglar. But I mean, there's a lot of truth to it, you know, that open your mindset to winning thing, you know, the viewpoint, the perspective, you know, saying that you can do all these things in life that you want as long as you're willing to work for them.

If you can dream it, you can do it, but you're gonna have to work for it. Like Tim was giving an example today. He hits his head when negative thoughts come in, thought of dad, you know, I will literally stop. I literally like, I will, if I'm walking and somebody's behind me, you're going to bump into me. Cause if I have something to come, I will literally stop him and keep, push the negative thought out of your head, push it in, you know, that relentless attitude, that mindset that that's foreign to some people. You know. If you have two parents who have never won and don't aspire to win and

couldn't care about winning, it's probably a foreign fucking language for that person to try to understand that. So it's hard to digest that somebody can't. How do you not understand the simple equation of winning? No, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. But when I'm, I totally get that. I mean, I understand why people don't understand it, but like the, the level at which some people don't understand it is astounding. Yeah.

You want, listen, like I'm far away from that fucking line of thinking. Yeah. And so it's just like, you know, no, I can understand why when you look at it,

you would laugh because I just, I just, I just laugh, you know? And I tell them if you don't, if you had a hard time understanding relentless,less, you have no shot at winning. You have no shot at understanding winning. It is such a higher, it's just a higher level thought process that you're not going to get it.

You know what's real though, dude? Real shit. Like, because I just read, and you know this, I just read Relentless and Winning back to back. So I was on 75 hard. I started at the end of November. I got 51 days in, and I got a blood infection that really fucked me up. And it took me like five weeks to get over. And the first post was, I can no longer continue.

I remember that post. I remember your post. I said, listen, I can no longer continue. When I start back, it'll be fucking day one. Yeah, that's it. There was nothing I could do about it. No, but I'm just saying, you're saying that, hey, even shit even happens to me.

Oh, yeah. Even though I was on this. Yeah, but I wasn't a fucking hangnail was on this It wasn't I was fucking sore I was on a journey to this win This destination That I've reached over and over again It didn't go the way I wanted Sometimes that happens

That's reality I read your books back to back At the beginning of that round So basically in December End of November Most of December I was reading both the books And what I can tell Because I've read Relentless I think probably four or five times

Front to back And I've only read Winning once front to back I've read parts of it but I haven't read it front to back And I read them both back to back and i've only read winning once front to back i read parts of it but i hadn't read it front to back and i read them both back to back and i can tell you and this is what's great about the the both this is both the books that you've written what's great about them is that we're when you're at a different point on the journey it will they will mean different things to you yes and so like when i read that book for the journey, they will mean different things to you. Yes. And so like when I read that book for the first time way back when I first met you,

I don't remember what year that was, but like it meant something to me, right? Okay, what I realized was, if you remember, I think I told you, I realized what I got out of it the first time was that I wasn't alone because I felt fucking crazy. Like I felt like I was one of the only, I felt cause dude, everybody, when you're, when you're, when you're a highly competitive, highly driven person, bro, everybody

around you tells you that it's wrong. Everybody around you tells you that you're obsessed. Everybody tells you to have balance. Everybody tells you to relax. Everybody tells you to quit taking shit so serious, quit caring so much. Okay. And all that advice is wrong, by the way, just so you know, it's very, very fucking wrong, but I was at a point in my life where I was 10 plus years into my, into retail and we had just started first form when I read relentless and what it taught me because I was fucking in a bad place mentally, because I'm relentlessly being told all of the things I just said by everybody I know. They're like, bro, you're fucking crazy. And so

that after a while, when every single person around you is saying that there's something fucked up about you, guess what happens? You start to fucking believe it. And so like I picked up this book. I can't even remember how i heard of it oh ben newman ben newman is the one that put me on it and and and uh i read the book relentless and i was like fuck dude okay there's a whole bunch of people out here like this that are that are like this and but then when i read you know i've read a number of times across the journey and now what it reminds me of is different than what it taught me the first time. Now it makes me see things. It's almost like, uh, like where I'm at

now versus then, which is a drastic difference in, you know, the 10 years, I guess, or so since I first read it to now, but now what I remember, it's almost like a checklist now. It's almost like, like I'm reading it and I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm seeing it that way. This is, this is, this validates what I feel over here. This is, this is what I've experienced. So it's like, it's, you understand what I'm saying? And like, what I think is cool because like most books don't have that value, um, where they can totally teach you completely different things depending on where you are. If you read a lot of books, there's certain books in marketing that I've read consistently. The Purple Cow by Seth Godin, I've probably read that book five or six times over the course of

the last... It's a great book. But when I read it, it's still the same book and Seth Godin's brilliant, but when, and this is no disrespect to him, I think he's one of the most brilliant fucking writers ever. But when I read it, it's, it's still a marketing book and it's still like just reminding me of the shit that I already know. Right. And what I love about your books, dude, is that they truly do mean different things at different points. And I think it's important. I recommend that if you're starting 75 hard, I think starting with Relentless and winning back-to-back is a great place to start with your reading. The first time I read Relentless, it was a little bit confusing because I didn't, I could see why people don't,

some people don't connect with it because it's, it's, you have to think when you're reading it, you have to like think and people aren't used to thinking right now. Right. Exactly. You know what? We used to get people all the time, the negative comments about, but you didn't tell me what to do. That's exactly. Yes. What did you say? You had to think. Exactly. And it's self-reflective book. And I really think, bro, and I mean this shit, I've read, fuck, I don't know, thousands of books in my life. I'm a big reader. I think your books will go down in history as two of the most important books for people truly understanding not only the process

of winning, but themselves on the process of winning. Does that make sense? That makes, thank you. Thank you. It's a big deal, dude. It means, I mean, it means a lot. It's a big deal. I've never read anything like them. Yeah. And that's, that's not, you know, I've read a lot of good books, bro, but like, and I read the good books, I read over and over again. Because I know there's one or two, because, you know, winners value information differently. When I read a book, I'm not reading it for the book. I'm reading it for that one paragraph or that one sentence that out of the, you know, 250, 300 pages that, you know, I'm going to read, I'm going to get one thing out of it. That's how I value the information.

You know, people who win, from my experience, champion people, these people look at information and value it differently than what people do who don't win. You know, like people who don't win will read a whole book and they'll say, well, that book sucked. Well, bro, there's really not a book on this fucking planet that you can't read and pull one thing out. True. You know, and what I think makes your books unique and what I value about them the most

is that literally every part of the book, if you actually use your brain and think like you're supposed to, will mean real shit to you. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And it will mean real shit in a different way every single time. So I'm obviously a huge fan. I appreciate it.

Thank you so much. You know what, here. This is real shit, man. Yeah. With Relentless, it makes you form a partnership with your decisions and your commitments. You know what, here. This is real shit, man. Yeah, with relentless, relentless, it makes you form a partnership with your decisions and your commitments. Winning makes you form a partnership with your actions and your success. And you need all four.

And you need all four. You need all four. DJ, when you stepped out, whatever you did. Tim made fun of you all the time. I was not. He also flicked me off before we even started. That was at the other podcast. Right. It's a win for me. That's actually an honor.

That's what I'm saying. I'm going to pay a little compliment. He told me how much weight you've done because I've been on your ass now. I've been like, listen, dude, this is like, he's a reflect. He told me he showed you the text. Oh, yeah. I'm like, what the fuck's going on your ass now. I've been like, listen, dude, this is like, he's a reflect. He told me he showed you the text. Oh, yeah. I'm like, what the fuck's going on here? Yeah.

I said, you know, I see one individual getting the results, and I see the other one a little dragging behind. Megan. But he's told me where you, now your job, job not finished now. Long way to go. You still got a long way to go. All right? And we'll stay on you now.

Oh, please do. See, Tim, those great people in your life will hold you accountable, won't way to go. All right. And we'll stay on you now. Oh, please do. So Tim, those great people in your life will hold you accountable, won't they? Yes. Won't they DJ? Absolutely. Well, thanks Andy. Well, Hey brother, look, man. Um, I really appreciate you coming in on the show, sitting down and sharing some of your wisdom. uh, you know, you're doing, I hope you realize the impact that you're making on people, especially in today's day and age where like, they're trying to demoralize population and make people think that winning doesn't matter and everything's beautiful. And it's just going to be fun. Like what you're about and what you do is desperately needed in society.

And so I hope you realize that like what you're doing, I believe will, I don't think people, I don't think people realize the impact of what you're doing right now. I don't even think that they might even understand it the whole time you're alive. I think, but I do think that people are going to remember you for being one of the key figures during a time where everybody was being told that winning was bad, actually helping reverse that culture. Thank you. And I think that's something that, you know, I think about that a lot and I'm sure you

probably feel sometimes like, and know i don't i don't know you may not feel this way but like for me i feel sometimes like nothing none of the shit that i'm doing really matters but like for me to you i'm telling you dude it fucking matters it matters what you do it wasn't your shit if it wasn't for your shit i wouldn't do the shit that i do and i see all these motherfuckers they get i get this That's one of the best things about what we do here at first form 75 hard, the transformation content. Like, dude,

I get to be blasted with people changing their lives. And that's one of the things I'm most grateful for in my life is because like, dude, if I want to be inspired, it's real easy. I can just look around, just look around. Yeah.

And, uh, but like, dude, if it wasn't for you, that shit would, that you're a part of that. Thank you. It wouldn't exist, bro. Appreciate it. And what I've always told you guys, I'm very, I say this to very few individuals and both of you, both of you, both of you know this, you know, Sal, Andrew have always said this and this will never change. I'm a phone call away. Yeah. We know that, bro. And that's mutual.

That's it. I'm a phone call away. Well, bro, thanks for making the trip, man. Anytime, man. And thanks for everything else that you do for us and for everybody else, man. You deserve a lot more credit than what you get. No, likewise. Likewise. It's great to be in a room and be able to share content with other people that believe in greatness, that believe in winning, that believe in the relentless mindset. Not only believe it, but actually live it, experience it, and do it every single day thank you yeah well thanks brother all right guys that's the show don't forget to pay the fee and uh we'll see you next time we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze a stole, counted millions in a cold Bad bitch, booted swole, got her on bankroll Can't fold, that's a no, headshot, case closed