REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 498. Q&AF: First Impressions In Business, Handling Employees Quitting & Misconception About Loyalty

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what to look for when forming new relationships with suppliers & vendors, the best way to handle employees who don't want to work for you anymore, and how to look at and value loyalty in an individual.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest sake of out of the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality guys. today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the answers. If this is your first time listening, this is our question and answer show where you submit them and we answer them. You can submit them one of two ways. First way is- Guys, email those questions in to askandyy at andy for seller.com and also uh we are uploading the full-length episodes on youtube if you go to the q and a f episodes on youtube and drop your question in the comments uh don't forget to click subscribe on that one uh we'll pick some from there as well uh but if this is your first time listening we have shows within the show this is

q and a f other times you tune in you're going to see cti that stands for the internet. That's where we put up on the screen, three or four topics that we want to talk about. We, uh, we laugh about them. We make fun of them. We speculate on what's going on. And then we talk about how we can all work to be the solutions. The problems are going on in the world. Other times you tune in, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of me just giving you some real talk, just some stuff I think that would help you. And then other times it's full length. That's what you're used to seeing on most everybody else's podcast where a bunch of people just sitting around having a conversation.

So that's the general basis of the show. Now the show is based in personal development, entrepreneurship, and business. But we also cover a lot of things going on in society on the CTI episodes. The reason we do that is because if we don't have the proper environment, it's impossible for us to produce fruit when it comes to our businesses. Meaning, if we don't have freedom, we don't have a business. So it's important for us as entrepreneurs, as people who are driven to succeed, to keep an eye on what's going on in the world and understand how to navigate it. So that's the gist of the show. Now, in exchange for the information that we give on the show, we have a fee.

The fee is not monetary. I'm not asking you to send me money. I'm not asking you to buy my shit. Although I do appreciate those of you that do support our companies. The fee is very simple. I just ask for you to share the show. If it made you think think if it made you laugh if it gave you a new perspective if it taught you something if you walked away saying man that

wasn't a waste of my time i would just appreciate if you share the show we've been able to maintain a very very very high ranked podcast for the better part of a decade based on word of mouth which i appreciate you guys for doing and i'd like to continue that trend. So if we provide value, please share it. That can mean a story shared. That can mean a post. That can mean telling a story about what it meant to you. That can mean telling your friends, whatever it is. We appreciate it, guys. So that's when I say pay the fee. That's what I mean. So that's the housekeeping for the show. Today we have Q&A. What's up? What's up? Are you all right? I don't know. Why? I forget something? We don a fiji yeah you're not yeah you're drinking some peasant

well we're recording uh yeah i got the peasant water today um we're recording a little different time of the day so my my routine got messed up yeah you know what i'm saying we're like an hour early huh yeah an hour yeah a couple hours early yeah yeah so uh you know we'll see how it goes usually it takes me till about 2 p.m which is when we normally record to really get full of enough energy and enough frustration uh to really come in and deliver some straight fucking heat right but uh today we're doing a little earlier so maybe it won't be as hot maybe it will i don't know we'll find out what's going on with you? Hey, man. You know, another day, another beautiful day, finally getting some good weather in good old Missouri, which is always nice.

There's just something about getting some good vitamin D. I don't know. Yeah. I like to give the vitamin D. Yeah. You give it? Yeah. I'll take some.

I bet you will. What? Okay. No, man. It's just nice man it's nice seeing blue skies it is dude the gray the gray um the gray winter man it like it's not the cold either like when i'm in a place where it's sunny and it's cold and snowy that's actually some of my favorite weather yeah but the grayness here in the midwest man it's uh you can get a little wearing on you yeah bill gates just turned down the machine yeah just a little bit that's all this has some sun dude that's it yeah we'll buy your products fuck dude i couldn't imagine living in somewhere like

up like uh you know the washington you know the the northwest where it's like very rainy and cloudy all the time yeah like y'all motherfuckers must be miserable up there well i mean yeah well that's another episode i couldn't imagine living in somewhere like alaska bro where like it's dark for like 24 hours at a time did you go to did you go to whistler when we went um a couple years ago we went to whistler for a rta event and it was like that it got dark it's like stayed dark super late and then got dark super early. Yeah. And it was definitely different. That's weird.

I can't, no. I think when people, people are starting to realize, man, like how important sunlight, we've talked about it on the show, but just being outside in the environment, like it does a tremendous benefit to your body. Right?

I mean, it's even linked to, you know, depression and certain shit, like anxiety disorders and things like that. So it's important, man. I'm right i mean it's even linked to you know depression and certain shit like anxiety disorders and things like that so it's important man i'm just happy that it's here sun recharges the body man yeah that's the one of the biggest lies told in the world you know that like sun's bad for you and uh you know also like being weary of how much you wear your sunglasses because a lot of the vitamin d um we actually convert from the sunlight that comes into our eyes so it's important for us to like i like sunglasses i think i look cool but i try to you know make a conscious effort

and if you don't if you don't want to do that just make you know you don't want those sunglass tan lines so right i try to spend about you know 50 50. yeah um without my sunglasses but anyhow uh what's going on yeah we got well i got some good ones for you I bet you do got some good ones let's knock these out any question number one we covered first impressions a couple episodes ago so this one goes a little bit deeper talking about impressions in business any what are the first impressions you look for when forming a relationship with someone important for your business? For example, vendors or suppliers, what makes you choose them and what makes them stand out amongst the other competitors? Well, I think it depends, man. I think in some scenarios in business, people have

something that is very desirable. They have a service or a product or something that you can only get from them. And in that case, if you need the product, it really doesn't matter what you look for because it's exclusive. So that's a real scenario that happens oftentimes. However, most of the time we have options. So if we're running a business and we're looking to make the business work, there's a couple of things that we got to take into account. One, is it financially feasible for us to use this company? Does it make sense? Is it going to make sense to our bottom line? That's something that we always have to be aware of. We talk a lot these days, especially about feeling good or

finding the right connection or finding something that we vibe with or believe in. But the truth of the matter is, is that if we can't finance our business and we can't make the numbers where we don't have a business. So that's the first thing that really I think you should look at as a true operator. Secondly, if there's multiple things that make financial sense and maybe they don't, maybe one company makes a little bit more financial sense and the other company, you got to pay a little bit more and it costs you a little bit of margin, but they're much better at what they do. Maybe they are, uh, they're better on their service game or they're easier to get ahold of, or their supply chain is quicker or whatever it may be. Sometimes it's worth it to go with the option that actually works better in terms of everything

else, but price, because the reality is guys, most cases in life, you get what you pay for. That's the truth. All right. It's very rare in society. People like to think this way, but it's not actually true that the cheapest thing is the best. It's usually not the case. Usually there is a price quality correlation that goes along with whatever product or service is being offered. And typically the more someone charges, they're usually providing value that can benefit you in other ways, strategically or service-wise or other things like that. Or maybe their quality is just that much better. But there's always a lot of reasons to evaluate what it is you're trying to choose. For me, I like to work with people that I like. I like to work with people that hold a high standard.

I like to work with people who don't fuck up. I like to work with people who pay attention to detail and who actually care about what's going on on my end. And if that costs me a little bit more money, then that's what we'll do. Because I think that's important to the operations of a business. You know, we have to be able to rely on what people say and them delivering on what they promise for us to run

what we run. Right. Um, and it doesn't matter if it's, you know, supplements or fucking widgets or it doesn't matter. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a idea that spans across all business. So, um, you know, I, I think it's important to evaluate that a lot of people will just jump in with the cheapest thing. And like, dude, you have to remember also in finished good products, whatever it is that you offer, whether it's a hard product, whether it's service, whether, whatever it is, there is a price value correlation there too. So like you have to decide where you want to be in the market. Do you want to be the discount brand? Do you want to be the medium brand? Or do you want to be the premium brand? Personally, I prefer premium. I think that's the easiest thing for me personally

to deal with because I don't mind someone looking me in the eye and saying, bro, I can't afford your stuff. But I hate someone looking me in the eye and saying, bro, your stuff sucks. It doesn't work. Yeah. It bothers me. So like, and whether that be any of the businesses that I'm in, I always like to play in the premium space because I feel like that I'm a premium customer and how I evaluate products and services. And that's something that I can relate to the most as an operator. And like I said, it's just, you know, you're going to deal with one or the other. You're either going to deal with people saying, I don't like your product. It's not good enough. Or you're going to deal with people saying, Hey, that product's not for me because it costs too much. And either way,

you're going to have people that don't want your shit. So you have to just make a real good decision about where you want to be. And I think there's room for all of those. There's definitely, I think there's scientific proof that there's room for a good, better, best options in any product category. So to evaluate what the best vendor is or the best strategic partner, there's just a lot of variables that go into play depending on where you're trying to operate from. And it's not always about money. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Have you seen also too, how much does, I guess, time in business, reputability of company play as a leverage factor, right? Like when you first started in 99 or let's say from, you know, from, from 1999 to 2005, your, your reputation,

your, your business credit, if you will, right? Like how much has that changed versus where you are now when it comes to getting these relationships? Oh, I think that matters. You know, I think, you know, when you're, when you're an unknown and you're still new and people aren't familiar with your brand, um, you get less favorable deals. You get less people that want to work with you. You get less people that, and this is a reality. This is why you guys in business need to really stick it out because eventually that part of it does get better. You know, back in the day, man, um, you know, we had man, it's an interesting question you brought up because we kind of got lucky on this aspect. And when I tell you why we got lucky.

Here we go. Yeah. Well, listen, we did get lucky. But when I tell you why I was lucky, you're going to be like, what the fuck? I was lucky to get stabbed in the fucking face. It was the best thing that ever happened to me for business because people started to remember me. All right. So when we were new in business, I got stabbed in 2003.

And nobody up until that point, that was our three years in business. We went in our fourth year and we had the hardest, hardest, hardest time getting anyone to pay attention to us because we were not memorable. We, we weren't recognizable. Nobody knew who we were. We were a little tiny bitty company. Um, we had no business leverage whatsoever because we didn't have any fucking money, bro. And like money talks, bullshit walks when it comes to this shit. Right. So like pretty, you want it to sound right. Like it's the reality. And like money talks, bullshit walks when it comes to this shit. Right. No matter how pretty you want it to sound. Yeah. Right. Like it's the reality. And so we had to leverage our other assets to get attention from some of the companies that we wanted to work with. Right. Um, and you know, me getting stabbed in

the face made me very memorable because my face was very fucked up. It looks, it looks, I mean, it's looks like gold now. Right. Like, but look at real talk, you know, it looks like gold now, right? But look, real talk. My face was swollen the size of a grapefruit for about a year. And so I looked weird. And as hard as that was for me mentally to deal with, when I look back on it from where I am now, and bro, I dealt with suicidal thoughts literally fucking all day long every day. Probably, I mean, definitely the hardest time of my life

that I ever went through, no doubt. But when I look back on it, it was actually something that really helped our business because I became memorable. It became something that people talked about, whether it was good or bad. And I'll give you an example. We would go to the Arnold or the Olympia back then and nobody knew who we were. Right. And people would, would, would say, Oh, you know, the guys that own supplement superstores and people would be like, no, I don't know who the, you know, Andy, he's the one with the fucking, you know, the thing, right. Right. Like, and, and, and I know this because people have told me this over the years that it actually made them remember us. So, you know, that really helped

us become memorable, uh, and allowed us to really meet some really good people that took good care of us through the years. Uh, there's some people that I'm eternally indebted to because of the things that they did to help us along the way, uh, to guide us, to teach us. And this is why I support people even in my own space, um, who are not as far along as I am because like, I think that's the duty, right? Like, like I'm now I'm now I'm that person and I have a responsibility to pay that back and really help the smaller guys figure out what the fuck they're doing, which is why, you know, a lot of people, you know, they see me talking to some of the owners of these other companies or hanging out with them and shit. And they look at it and they're like, what the fuck is that

about? Well, bro, that's, that's a moral obligation that we have to help the people come behind us to run the path the right way. And so I'm just repaying what was done to me. You see what I'm saying? But, uh, you know, as get to back to the point, as you become more recognizable and as you become more successful, people start to come to you. And then when you get, when you get like to a decent size, and when I say decent, when you get into that, you know, that, people start to come to you. And then when you get to a decent size, and when I say decent, when you get into that eight to nine figure range, high eights, low nines, people are knocking your door down to come do business with you. So the whole dynamic changes if you stick with it long enough. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. Absolutely. But the principles of how you get those deals remain the same. Yeah, for sure. For sure, bro. And look, this is the long game. A lot of you guys in business are so impatient. You don't understand that this is going to take, this is not going to take a couple of years. This is going to be your life, you know, and treating people right, doing the right thing over the long haul, you know, um, bro, there's not a motherfucker in this space, in my spaces, in any of the space i'm in not a single not a single one that could say that i haven't done anything but try to help not a single one they might they might say oh watch out for andy because he's a tough competitor

they might say that but i have never ever ever ever a person in business i've always tried to help i've always tried to push down the road and a lot of times um people are taken aback by that they're like what's this dude want why is he talking to me why is he trying to help i've always tried to push down the road and a lot of times um people are taken aback by that they're like what's this dude want why is he talking to me why is he trying to help and it's like bro i'm just trying to do what other people did for me because i feel like it's the right thing to do so um you know and yeah you can make sure things like do you want the fucking hammer like no no it's not that you know like when i was younger bro i was i would you know it was different but now like we've gotten to a point now where i realize like when i was younger bro i was i would you know it was different but now like we've gotten to a point now where i realize like where i kind of realize where i'm at right like i'm very small

where i want to go to but for the space that we're in we're we're very successful and recognized for that and so i see a lot of smaller companies that really struggle but bro some of these owners of these other companies that are a little bit behind us, or maybe even a lot behind us, these are my best fucking friends. And you know this because I talk to them on our walks. I'll talk to some of the owners of these other companies for fucking two hours, multiple times a week, trying to help them work through the shit. And I give it away for free because there's no shortage of business available. And especially when it comes to helping people, I think it's just a good karmic thing to do. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Absolutely. Moving right along guys, question number two, Andy. Andy, I've been in business for four years. I have seven full-time employees and I just had my first employee quit on me. I wouldn't say he was a key player, but the absence and increased workload is definitely noticed. He never complained or brought any issues to me directly, but I have just learned recently through another employee of mine

that he did not trust, quote, aggressive offensive direction. I'm taking the company during these troubling times and did not believe in my abilities to win. How did you look at people quitting early on in business? And how should I look at the situation as I'm now starting to second guess my decisions? Man, this is a really good question. You guys really need to listen to the answer here. Okay. Because the way I used to feel compared to how I feel now, it's completely the opposite. 10 years ago,

when we were still like, you know, we were just getting it going, maybe let's say 15 years ago. All right. Let's say we're 24 years, 15 years, going to be nine years in. We were struggling, bro. We were fighting every day. Every day was a fucking war. And so like when people quit on me, dude, I took it fucking very personally. I felt like, fuck you. And even to the point where I was like, dude, back then, I used to even be like, fuck, I hope they fucking fall on their fate. I looked at it the wrong way.

And over time, especially after I got into the personal development space, which was a couple of years after this time, I started to realize and see my employees differently. I started to see them as I changed my philosophy. My philosophy was, fuck you. If you're not in, you're fucking out. You know what I'm saying? And like, bro, there's a time and place for that. There really is. But it's not a good way to go through life because it creates situations where there's animosity later that is totally unnecessary, bro. The reality of the situation is employees are going to come. Employees are going to change their life path.

They're going to choose to do different things. And there's no reason to be upset about those things. So you shouldn't take it personally. You know, if somebody doesn't want to be on your team, why the fuck do you want them on your team? You know what I'm saying? And if they just don't want to be on your team, why the fuck do you want them on your team? You know what I'm saying? And if they just don't want to be on your team and they want to choose a different path, why wouldn't you help them on that path?

Then you've got an advocate out there talking about how much you helped them. That's a good thing for you, right? It's a good thing for your business. So I adjusted my perspective over the course of time. And it really came down to, I had one employee quit on me who was actually a really good fucking friend of mine and he's still a great friend of mine um and uh i he was valuable in the company but when he left uh he went to do his own thing and he actually ended up going to law school he became a lawyer he's actually one of my lawyers now all right so yeah you know who i'm

talking about i'm gonna say his name but like when he left, dude, it like hurt. It was like, it was like a, it was like a wake up call for me because I realized, okay, I care about this dude. This is one of my best friends. He's choosing to go on this path that he feels he needs to be on. And now he's very successful attorney with his own practice. He represents me in a lot of stuff. So, um, I started to look at it as, all right, not everybody's going to be here for long-term, but the time that they're here, I want to pour into them to make sure that when they leave here, they're more equipped to be successful at something else. And so I changed my philosophy a number of years ago about, all right, like if someone wants to go on their own

path, then it's my job to equip them while they're here so that they can look back and say, fuck, that's where I learned how to do this shit. Right. And then, then you make a friend for life, someone that you, that you get to celebrate with someone that you get to be happy with someone when they win, you're like, fuck. Yeah. Like that's cool as shit. And like, so one of the things that I derive my, like what I'm proud of is that I have a number of people that spent time with me who have gone out and been very successful in other things. And that makes me proud.

And I think that's an important perspective to have. So if you're in the beginning and you're more like taking it personal, I would say you should shift your perspective to really just, and I think there's an energy aspect to this too, bro. I think when you want good for other people, good things happen to you. And I'm talking about from your heart, not, not like you're just saying it. Right. Right. Um, and it's a little

contrarian to the way that most people are treated whenever they leave their position. You know, most people that are treated when they leave their position, they feel like there's angst or animosity. Um, and I think a lot of times, you know, people automatically believe that that's the case. But, you know, how I look at it is, is like, dude, if you spend time here, first of all, I'm very appreciative of the time that you put in. Second of all, I want you to win. Third of all, whatever you need to do to win, you know where I'm at and we can always have a conversation. I'll advise you and tell you what I think is the right thing selflessly. And so I think that's, and that's a more peaceful way to live too, because you don't have the internal

anxiety from these rough relationships and, you know, and bro, it's a growing process. And I think it's, I think the quicker that you can change your perspective to look at your people and say, all right, look, I know for sure, not everybody's going to stay here forever. However, I want them to look back and say, this is the best, this is the best previous place that i ever worked and i learned a lot there and it's helped me succeed in life and so that that's that's kind of been my journey on it and it's it's been a total 180. yeah you know what i mean i love that take i mean especially like in their situation because like i'm looking at this i'm like okay well you're about to go into some troubling waters right we? We know what the world temperature is.

You got somebody in the boat that, you know, whether they don't want to row, can't row, whatever the case is. Or they're going to row at a different pace. Yeah. If you have four guys on one side of the boat and four guys on the other side of the boat, and one of the guys on the left is rowing at a different pace, the boat's going to go in circles. It might go in big circles, but it's going to go in circles. It's not going to go straight. Right.

And so that's how you have to look at it you know like when you have people that aren't bought in when you have people that wish they were doing other things it's better for everybody that they go do those other things so that like the that your boat continue to move and then they can take their boat and go build their own ship you know what i'm saying absolutely man it's just such a maturity process bro it is for sure. Because it's easy to take the shit personally. Yeah. I just hate that there's such a stigma on that, man. I never really realized it. Well, I think a lot of people who leave their job automatically, no matter what job they

leave, they automatically feel like it's a negative thing and that the job is disappointed or they hate them or this or that and and that's probably true at most places but you know it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be and i don't think that if you're going to run a good and sometimes bro like sometimes like in this situation where someone who is really valuable it's fucking hard because you're like fuck this is going to be a huge pain in the fucking ass however um, long-term, if you look at it the right way, it becomes a true asset to your life because you develop a good friendship,

a great relationship. And I think it's good energy and good karma. I think when you help people, I think it comes back. I do think that when you, I don't think you get it back evenly. I think when you help people at 100% effort, you might get back 30% of that result, but it's better than getting back done. You know what I'm saying? Like it's better than having, you know, having to be negative. So, uh, you know, and I think

that's a whole nother topic we could do a whole show on, but like, you know, the amount of intent that you put out, the return is not always equate to the amount of the intent. That means you have to do a lot of good to get good back. Does that make sense? A lot more good than you're gonna get back. Like you have to far over deliver and then you're gonna get like a medium amount of good back and it's gonna frustrate the shit out of you. But like, dude, it's just the way it works. And it ain't gonna be instantly either.

No, it takes three years from now. Yeah, it takes time. But like, bro, I think that's a, I think that's a, you know, that's a, I think it's just a maturity thing. I think you grow through this process. I think anybody in a, you know, that's a, I think it's just a maturity thing. I think you grow through this process. I think anybody in business feels this way, especially when you're like in the beginning stages and you're really struggling and like, bro, you really fucking need good people.

And then the good people decide they want to go do something else. It hurts. And so it's easy to take personally, but I don't, I don't think that's a good, I don't think that's a good strategy for a shit ton of reasons yeah i love it uh andy our third and final question question number three andy how do you look at and value loyalty i'm 34 years old and i'm realizing that i may have been too loyal for too long to people who didn't really deserve my loyalty. What are the MFCEO's rules for loyalty? Well, I don't think, you know, this is going to be a hard pill for people to swallow,

but I don't think loyalty is necessarily always reciprocated. I don't think, just like I said a minute ago with the energy. It's not always a two-way street. Like it's just not. And I think you have to decide who you are. You have to decide what you stand for. And I think it's important that you're loyal to your values and stand on those regardless of what the other person does.

And that doesn't mean become a rug that people walk all over. You know, if someone's going to disrespect you or talk shit or fucking try to hurt you. But what it does mean is you stand firm in who you are and be loyal to those things. I think loyalty is often misconstrued about like a bond between two people when I think really loyalty should be turned inward to say I'm loyal to the core values and the character traits that, that I want to live with and stand on. And, um,

if you're loyal to those and other people treat you bad, which they will, you can always look in the mirror and say, well, I did the right thing. And I think that's, that's the most important thing. We're hitting something deep right here,

man. You can't be loyal to nobody else. If you're not loyal to yourself. Yeah. But like, but like most people don't understand what loyalty yourself means. Most people only have their own set of core values. They just think there's people with good character and there's people with poor character and character is developed over commitment to values.

So you have to sit down and you just like I would for a company, like decide, okay, what's this going to stand for? It's going to stand for this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. And you have to do that for your life. Now, most people never do that. So just like if you were going to go on a road trip and you never mapped out where the fuck you're going, how are you going to get there? So you have to decide what it is you want your life to represent. And then you have to define those in some specific values. And then you have to be loyal to those values. All right. So that's what loyalty itself really means it means deciding what your standards are committing to holding those standards

and stay standing on that spot regardless of how other people treat you and so you're going to take some abuse with this mentality you're going to have people fucking hate you you're going to have people be mean to you you're going to have people fuck you up you. You're going to have people fuck you up. But here's the reality of it. And by the way, sometimes people do cross that line. You have to fucking stand up for yourself. However, I believe that it's the most important thing is for you to stand on what it is that you say you are. And by the way, you're not going to be perfect. You're going to fuck this up. You're going to you're going to fucking do things that are a lapse in your own character that you committed to. And you you're gonna have to learn lessons and do better next time. That's the court. That's how life works, right? Nobody here is perfect, dude Like there's this whole thing on the internet where all these motherfuckers pretend like they live their value system uh perfectly all the time like the the uh, You know the bible thumpers bro are the worst about this. Like the ultra, the ultra religious Bible thumper people, they will, they will talk out of both sides of their mouth. They'll preach

Jesus and they'll preach all these gospel. They'll, they'll, they'll recite every single Bible passage that there is. They'll judge you, which by the way, it says in the fucking Bible, not to judge people. They'll judge you for not being as uh you know good or holy as them right while at the same time behind closed doors they're doing all kinds of fucked up shit right you see what i'm saying absolutely and those people tend to be the ones the people who are the most aggressive about imposing their value system on you are usually the ones with the most shit in their fucking closet all right so like don't buy into that buy into that shit, bro. Those people like to make other people feel bad because ultimately inside they feel bad about who they are. So, uh, that's no disrespect to people who,

who practice religion, who are godly and stuff. I try to do the best I can, man. Um, but my, my main thing is, you know, decide what it is that you want to be, commit to those things, live those things. When you fuck it up, own it and say, man, you know what? I disappointed myself right there and commit to doing better. And I think that's a good way to live. And like, however people treat you past that, that's, that's really a them problem. You know what I mean? That's not a you problem. It doesn't always mean that you fucked up. It doesn't always mean that like, you know, you're a bad person because someone, I just did a show on rejection, right. Uh, you know, earlier, you guys all heard it,

um, a couple episodes ago or whatever. But the point is, is like, we, we're, we're going to take things personal and we're going to, we're going to be hurt. But if we can look in the mirror and say, you know, well, I didn't compromise who I am and I was loyal to who I was. I actually think that's the most important loyalty that there is. And if you're loyal to that, then your actions of how you treat others are going to be a natural by-product of that value system that you, that you believe in. Right. So if you're committed to these things on the inside, one of those things probably should be like to treat people the right way. Right. Even if they, even if they're having a bad day, even if like, you know, like previously they leave your job or they, you know, they break up with you or whatever, like whatever it is, however you're rejected. I think it's important to be loyal to who you are

Stan and, and, and bro, let me tell you something. Sometimes it's hard as fuck to have high character. Sometimes it's hard as fuck to have a high value system, but in the reality, in the longterm of the game, you know, what you're doing by doing that is you're preserving your self-worth, your self-esteem, and your confidence because you can look right in the mirror and say, you know, that didn't really go the way that I wanted. That person treated me like shit. That wasn't fair. It was not cool, but I remained who I am and I would still feed this, or take care of them even if, if they needed it. You see what I'm saying? And I think that's a, you know, I think

that's a good example to set in the world. And too many people, um, I was talking about this at home the other day. There's so many people out there that are so self-centered. They want to take, take, take, take, take. When in reality in reality dude i think the whole key to being fulfilled in life is to give i really do you know like um and that's a hard thing to do sometimes man once people aren't fucking treating you right yeah for sure so but that's also remaining loyal to who you are see what i'm saying absolutely so absolutely i love that take on it huh i? I love that take on it. Well, I think it's important because loyalty, people think like when you say you're loyal, they almost like take ownership of the other person. It's like, I'm loyal to you, but you have to do this back to me.

And that's not actually loyalty, bro. Like that's like a conditional like contract that once somebody makes a mistake they're fucking cut off no this is propagated through the technological environment that we live in with social media because like look dude you know how many friends I've lost because I'm opinionated or I have a different viewpoint of their of the world view than they do or uh i said something they didn't like or you know like i i made too much money or i did had too much success like dude you can't control these things you have to do the best that you can you can and you have to realize that

people are going to think the way they think um but like we i think we can all do a better job in society of having a little more grace for people when they make mistakes. I think that's a big fucking deal. And I think it's a big problem in society. You know, like look at the Instagram comments that people live, like, like dude, people are just dying to fucking crucify people. And it's just like, that's fucking sad, dude. Like, like imagine how miserable you would have to be to, to like your whole day is about fucking people up. You know what I'm saying? It's about calling people out. It's about being shitty to people. It's about, you know, talking shit in the comment section on multiple people's posts. Like, bro, those people, that's not a you problem. That's

a them problem. And you just have to continue to take the steps down the road. And what's ironic and what I think is, you know, what has, what's happened to me a number of times is a number of times in my life, I've, I've had people mistreat me. And then later on down the road, they come back and apologize. And they said, dude, you know what? I actually had two people do this to me in the last like two weeks. And it was, it was really nice actually. Um, but I had a couple of people, you know, message me, uh, and want to me in the last like two weeks and it was really nice actually um but i had a couple people you know message me uh and want to get on the phone and basically apologize for for the way that they treated me many years ago you know and i just thought that was i thought that was cool

you know and so like and that's not the first two times that's happened that's just the most recent times but you know a lot of times people will come back around and say, you know what, bro? That wasn't cool of me. I feel bad. I'm sorry. And like, you know, dude, people are doing the best they can. Like, that's really the reality. You know, there's some fucked up shit going on in the world.

It's hard to fucking get by in the world right now. It's very chaotic. It's very chaotic it's very stressful and i think by having grace um we can kind of like smooth some of the of the hardship over between human beings i think i really think that's the answer you know like the way the system is set up they want us to attack each other they want us to hate each other they want us to spend all day on social media attacking the things that we don't like and i think it's important for people to to realize that if you want us to spend all day on social media attacking the things that we don't like. And I think it's important for people to realize that if you want that to stop, you have to live that example. And that's a very difficult thing to do. It's very easy

to just get sucked into the division, to get sucked into the cancel culture, to get sucked into the fucking mob mentality. That's easy. You know what's hard? Is saying, nah, y'all are wrong. That ain't cool. And they might have fucked up, but that ain't who that person is. And like taking a fucking stance on it. You know, that's the harder path.

And I think usually it's the right path. And sometimes you're going to give people grace three or four times and you're going to realize that they're just a shitty person and you just move the fuck on. You know, there there's caveat there too and sometimes people are going to do cross a boundary and you're going to have to stand up

for yourself and sometimes that means some difficult things as well but i think in most cases you know grace is where grace is applicable and i think it helps society culture and the world absolutely man i love it well andy that was three, man. Yeah. Don't pay the fee. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week.