REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 501. Q&AF: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Being Too Nice To Customers & Making First Million

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to overcome feeling like an imposter when building your business, whether or not you're being too nice toward customers, and what to be mindful of when making your first million dollars.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af that's where you submit the q's and i give you the as you could submit those questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email those questions and to ask andy at andy for seller.com or if you're watching this on youtube which is fairly new for us uh you could drop your questions in the comment section under this episode and make sure you click subscribe and we'll pick some of the questions that y'all leave in the comments for the show as well. So that's how you can do it on the Q and AF episodes. Now, if this is your first time listening, like it is for a few of you every

single time, we have multiple different formats inside the show all right we have Q&A F that's what you're gonna hear today that's educational personal development how to kick ass in life and business type question and answer generally I will answer all kinds of different questions but usually it's personal development theme then we have CTI that stands for cruise the internet that's where we talk about current events we talk about what's going on in the world we throw up headlines on the screen we talk about current events. We talk about what's going on in the world. We throw up headlines on the screen. We talk about what may be true, what probably isn't true. We speculate on what we think it means and we have a good time doing it. All right. Then

we have real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of me just giving you some real talk. And then we have full length. Full length is what you see on most other podcasts where we have a bunch of people in the room and we have a conversation. So that's the format of the show. Now, I do share with you 24 years of business advice, personal development advice, and I give it to you, as always, for free. I don't run ads for the show. I don't run ads on the show. I don't take 30 minutes of your time reading ads and taking money from some shit that I don't even use to put a little extra coin in my pocket. All right. In exchange for that, I would appreciate if you guys would just help us grow the show. If the show's good, if it makes you laugh,

if you learn something, if it makes you think, if it changed your perspective, if you thought it was entertaining, if it wasn't a waste of your time, please help us grow the show by sharing it. So when I say pay the fee, that's what that means so that's the uh ground rules of the show and how we do things here and then uh you know as always i'm joined by my handsome co-host over here dj hello children what's going on what's going on brother oh not much just been running around today like a fucking animal yeah this whole week bro at least you look good doing it hey it could be worse you know i'm saying i could be ugly that's what i'm saying right uh so we talked about a little bit i wanted to to see if uh you want to talk about on the air but you've been uh you've added something into your daily

regimen dude i gotta talk about it and i am i i know i've made all right look i'll say when i'm wrong i feel like disclaimer i've been trying to get you to do these things. No. For at least a year. Bullshit. You've been doing them occasionally. Yeah, but I've been trying to get you to do it. All right, look.

So because I will admit when I'm wrong, I have to say, first of all, that I'm sorry for making fun of the people that do cold plunges on the internet. I'd like to apologize to you guys because I actually started doing it every day. All right. So I bought a cold plunge, the actual cold plunge brand. Right. A really nice product.

We have it here at HQ. Definitely, you know, it's not required, but it's a nice product. Had it back on the rack in the warehouse for almost a year. No, actually, fucking two years. Oh, damn. I didn't know that. Yeah. Because when we, how long we had it here at HQ rack in the warehouse for almost a year no actually two years oh damn i didn't know that yeah because when we how long how long we had it here at hq

about two years however long we had at hq i had one in the back for me yeah but i didn't i didn't ever have set up and uh so i started talking to my buddy who does it every day and ran a big company and i asked him i said well why do you why do you do it every day like tell me tell me about it, bro. Cause this guy's, this guy's a fucking, this guy's a winner. Like, you know, and like when I see people that I respect that have done amazing things and they're winning, I want to know, I want to know why. Cause everything someone like that does, they do for a reason.

And so I asked him, I said, Hey bro, tell me about this. So he goes on to tell me, he's like, well, dude, look, and he's this guy's about 10 years older than me. Okay. All right. so he goes on to tell me he's like well dude look and he's this guy's about 10 years older than me okay all right so uh and then sold his company you know i don't know a few years ago but anyway he was saying well dude look you know uh after running that company for so many years my nervous system was totally fucking destroyed he's like you know anxiety depression fucking uh you know and this is true and any of you guys who are in entrepreneurship

you understand that it never stops it never sleeps you know this isn't the this isn't the 1980s where you know the ceo clocks out at 4 p.m or 5 p.m and nobody can find out where he is because there's no cell phones there's no fucking technology this shit never stops and because it never stops it really fucks up your life in a lot of ways and you pay a big price for it and the price you pay after doing it for 24 years is that you have ridiculous anxiety that you cannot control uh you have low fucking serotonin dopamine meaning you're a miserable fuck all right and um you're frustrated all the time and you hate people all the time and that's pretty much where i was at and he's he was telling me he was telling me this shit and i'm like well fuck i know what that's like yeah and um and he's like but here's the thing he's like when you get into this cold plunge

that cold temperature uh starts to reprogram your nervous system we had to talk about it and a lot of it has to do with your vagus nerve that's in your body. When you apply cold to it, it actually helps increase all the good hormones, the dopamine levels, 200%, all these different things that make you feel good. So anyway, so he's like, bro, it fucking changed my whole life. He's like, if I had done this before, maybe I would have felt differently, right? Not sold a company so um you know i'm like fuck it well i'll fucking try it right the first day and i've done these before right but i haven't done them committed like meaning every single day right and you know when

i've done them before those i felt fucking great the first time i ever did one i did one with uh dave sparks it was my 40th birthday except they were all in town for my it was like a bunch of people it was dave uh rob bailey like uh a bunch of my buddies just from you know just my actual buddies in real life were at my house for my 40th and we ended up getting fucking shit faced the night before the actual party okay right so like i was super fucked up like i was super like not at the party the day the day before the actual party, okay? Right. So, like, I was super fucked up. Like, I was super, like... Not at the party the day before. No, the day before the party.

We had the fucking party. Pre-party. Pre-party. Yeah, pre-game. All right? So, the pre-party, you know, fuck, I'm 40 now. Right.

I fucking white me the fuck out. So... Ain't no spring chicken. So, dude, I swear to God, you're the second person that said that to me today. What, spring chicken? Yes.

Fuck you. I'll tell you who the other one is. You'll laugh, but I'm not going to say it on the air. Well, I bet the other one definitely ain't no spring chicken yes fuck you i'll tell you who the other one is you laugh but i'm gonna say it on the air well i bet the other one definitely ain't no spring chicken uh no he's the same age as me every single person on listening to the show knows who he is every single one so anyhow um he's like yeah it changed my life so i fucking i said all right well look i've done i've done the therapy that That was bullshit, dude. Like it's hard to really get therapy from someone who has no fucking idea what it is you're going through.

It has never experienced even one day of it. Right. So like that was bullshit. I fucking stopped that. I was like, yeah, okay. Yeah. You're, you're shut the fuck up. You know, I get what this is going.

You're going to keep seeing me. Right. I'm never going to get better. And you just want to keep telling me how the fuck I feel. Right. Exactly. Yeah. It's a fucking 380 billion dollar industry of bullshit yeah all right um so i tried at least for people like me okay so try that shit didn't work try fucking antidepressants totally fucked me up i was on them for 11 years fucked up everything in my fucking life made me not feel any happiness made me fucking uh you know i knew

i wasn't as depressed. Just numb. I was just numb to everything, which actually may have served me over the last decade in what I did with business. Okay. Because you kind of have to be that way to do it. You know, I've made a lot of progress with my mental health the last four or five years with the Live Hard program. That's worked very well. But the anxiety part and the dopamine part, like I still wasn't ever feeling normal. I felt like I was just not feeling like a normal human being.

It's just hard to explain unless you're in this spot. And what I think happened was I'm dealing with so much stress for so fucking long that my nervous system completely, it was just not working at all. And so I started reading about some of the stuff he was telling me about with the cold therapy and shit. And I'm like, fuck it, I'll fucking try it.

All right, so I tried it. Today was my sixth day. All right, sixth day in a row. I cannot overstate how much better I feel mentally. Meaning, yes, i feel good physically yes it's helped me recover yeah like it's mental toughness shit right like yeah i'm like when i get out of the motherfucker i'm like yeah these fucking guys ain't doing that shit okay i get it there's an aspect yeah i love it and i do it first thing in the morning right out of bed. But whatever's happening with that vagus nerve inside my body has made me for the last, took about three days to really feel anything like it.

But now I almost feel like fucking normal. Like I didn't go through any of that stress for the last fucking 24 years. Like I almost feel like I felt before I got into business and that's gonna make me really fucking dangerous in business. You know what I'm saying? Cause like now I'm going to run everybody the fuck over. And I feel good, right? So anyway, the point in bringing this up

or in saying this is like, like dude i think that for people that suffer from anxiety and depression before you go try any of this other shit start doing cold immersion therapy for fucking three minutes a day first thing in the morning try it for you know and i i was told and i don't know this because i'm only on day six but i was told that it takes about three weeks for you to really feel the benefits of it in this regard but i can tell you after six days i fucking already get it so if i continue to get better over the next three weeks fuck that's that's gravy for me because i feel fucking great right now so if you're suffering from this this stuff if this is something that you consistently deal with like Like I dealt with this for a long, long, long time.

Okay. It doesn't matter what it's from. It could be PTSD. It could be, you know, overload of long-term, you know, chronic stress, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. If you're suffering with these things, try this, try this out. That's all I'm saying. Like try, try getting in a fucking cold plunge every single day.

First thing in the morning, however you got to do it. If your gym has one or you know somebody who has one or if you even got to just go get a bucket i've seen people take the fucking beer and that's fine whiskey barrels yeah the barrel there's that company that makes those barrels there's cold plunge company there's a number of different options i will say that i use the cold plunge company one i think it's a fucking it's an amazing product it looks good huh not a man yeah it's not no this is really not it's real shit yeah i i well the front dude those are big boy big boy approved too man because like yeah you feel like i'm yeah i'm i'm a big motherfucker yeah i think they might make extra different sizes of those i'm not sure but they're like five grand you know and it's a big investment so like

what i'm telling you dude like that five grand is probably the best five grand i ever fucking spent my whole life after just six days so there's a free plug for for cold plunge i know i said no ads but like here's the deal i may not pay me this is just real shit right um they give me a free tank they didn't you know there was no fuck it was none of that and however you decide to do it like i got guys here that used uh like those big plastic containers and they fill it with ice same thing however you got to do it yeah you got to make sure that you get in all the way to your to where the back of your neck is in the water for and what i'm doing for three minutes and i'd be curious to hear from you guys after trying it you guys who are really like and this

is not i'm not saying it'll fucking cure you i'm not saying it's the i'm not saying stop doing whatever else you're doing i'm just explaining to you that out of all the things i've tried and done there's been not even a nothing comparable to the amount of benefit that i get for such a small commitment of time and i i'm sold on it i'll probably never fucking ever like i probably never go a day in my life without doing it actually that's gonna be the tough part how the hell do we do that when we go travel well motherfucker we're gonna be feeling that bad twice i'll never not do it because of how good i fucking feel and the other thing is i'm sleeping now yeah like i haven't slept in 20 years dude

people think i'm full of shit like i sleep i sleep one two hours a day for the last 20 years so you're saying by doing it in the morning and then you go your whole day i know your normal work schedule you're sleeping better at night even just from those three minutes in the morning yeah absolutely wow and then also another thing that's because like after i do it i get in the shower so i don't get in the shower hot either i'd go take a cold shower and i turn the water fully on cold but dude because the water in the plunge is so cold and actually you can't tell that the water in the shower is cold so you're actually getting a little bit more cold immersion that you would so it's like a bonus and like dude if you take like 30 minute showers probably don't want to do that but i'm like real low maintenance bro i get the fucking i get the

critical parts i get the fuck out you know so i'm in there i'm in there for three or four minutes with small crevices yeah right right like i'm doing my butt you know i'm fucking doing my underarms with the loofah get my wiener you know get the fuck out you know so like uh you know i might you know put some shampoo in my hair or whatever but like i'm fucking it's quick um but i'm telling you dude like real talk and i can't you guys have been listening to me for almost a decade all right we've been on audio platforms for almost a decade killing it you've never heard me fucking plug something like that before ever never done it well i'm excited to see yeah well we're almost one week down so we'll see

where we're at in two weeks yeah it doesn't matter like if you don't have the five grand so that's expensive i will tell you if you do have the five grand i will say i truly that product is a great fucking product it looks good it doesn't like you know i don't want shit that looks bad i don't want to look weird it looks nice you don't change itself it's like right it's easy yeah so yeah dude i'm um well that's good man yeah and i think that if you can't do the cold plunge i would highly encourage you to use ice therapy on the back of your neck for like at least three minutes every single morning when you wake up first thing try that because dude i'm telling you there's

something to that vagus nerve um i know huberman's talked about it a few times i haven't really you know i can't really watch anybody else's shit because i'm too busy running my business and then making this uh but a lot of my friends and Dr. Gabrielle told me about the benefits of this shit. But bro, I don't think they recommend it. Not saying they don't recommend it. They, Huberman and Dr. Gabrielle do. But I'm saying, I think this is a known thing that they don't talk about or tell people about because it's so cheap and easy that they can't make money about it. I think it's another one of those things because I'm telling you dude it made every other thing i ever fucking tried a joke yeah including weed including fucking like any drug including anything it's not comparable

and i think everybody in this building this week would say man what the fuck is going on with andy well i don't know i'm getting some fucking dope mean for the first time in 20 fucking years you know my my fucking brain i don't want to fucking blow my brains out every single second of the fucking day. I mean, even thinking about like this, I mean, I think I was a lot worse, bro. I think my body was in a lot worse shape than I actually realized it was. After feeling how I feel now, I had forgotten. I had forgotten that people feel this way. That's how good I feel. i i fuck i'm like fuck dude

i forgot what this feels like that's how long it's been it's deep yeah it's deep yeah i mean just adding on to the part of like you know well why they wouldn't want people like this is not advertised because could you imagine you know half the american population walking around with no anxiety and happy and full of you know i'm saying could you imagine how much more productive are you gonna be that's why i said dude like when i say run you over i don't mean you i'm just saying whatever comes my way yeah like i'm gonna fucking dude whatever i'm doing a week ago is now getting done by fucking 10 o'clock a.m and i'm killing it it's a superpower bro i'm just telling you dude yeah if you're a if you're a military guy who has the ptsd who maybe you went through an injury or you

witnessed some or whatever dude at least give it a try try for three weeks try for i'm committing to a minimum of three weeks i don't think even after what i've seen for six days i don't think there's a single day i could miss that's how important it's become to me already damn man well yeah i said well we'll check in with you in about two weeks yeah i'm excited for you i'm just listen i'm just telling the truth like yeah you know that's real shit i hope i hope those cold plunge guys make a whole bunch of money off of this because it will help a lot of people yeah that's real yeah that real. Well, we can help some people today. Yeah, we're going to. That's what we do here.

Q&A, man. And I got some good ones for you. So let's dive into these. Andy, question number one. Andy, I struggle with imposter syndrome. In the past 12 months of my business, everything is on the upswing. On the outside, everyone views me as, quote, becoming successful. And the numbers support that. But I internally, but internally, I struggle with the feelings of whether I'm doing the things

right, whether I'm doing enough. And I question everything that I'm filled, and I'm filled with anxiety and doubt. When you were building your businesses, did you struggle with this? And if you did, how'd you overcome it? I still struggle with it your businesses, did you struggle with this? And if you did, how'd you overcome it? I still struggle with it. I still struggle with it every single day. Every single, you know this, I come in here every day. I'm like, why do these people listen to me? Why do people care what I have to say? And like, bro, it should be obvious. Like when I sit back and I like look at it logically, just like this person, I'm like, oh, well, yeah, that makes sense. Like i've done some

real and at a large scale and a whole bunch of different things i built multiple companies i created maybe the most popular fitness program that's ever fucking existed mental mental toughness program that's ever first you know like i've done a lot of things like it's so like then when i look at it logically i'm like oh okay this makes sense um you know, I still on the inside, I'm just a normal person. And I think that's where it is. That's the truth. Like whoever it is that you look at from the outside, you have to remember they're still a normal person on the inside. And this is why I hate internet culture so much and how brutal it is to some people.

Because, dude, like a lot of those people that you guys think it's okay just to tear down because they're a big name and they should be able to handle it those are just normal people just like you dude like what if the whole world was coming down on you you know what i'm saying like we have more grace for each other in that regard but i think you know uh the imposter syndrome is something that like if most people are being honest they struggle with a little bit from time to time at a bare minimum um but, but I know in those times, like what I do is I, I actually remove myself from me and pretend like I'm observing me. And would I find myself credible if I were observing me from the outside? And the answer is always fuck. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And in fact, like, and I'm just being real, I don't know a whole lot of

people that I would listen to more than that because of the, the, you know, the fucking results produced the pudding, baby. Yeah. That's it. it and like that's why i stress for you guys to follow people who have actually produced real results because a lot of people are now think about the imposter syndrome of the people who are pretending to have produced shit that happened right like those people are the most insecure which is why you see them lose their motherfucking minds on social media all the time yeah right so um there's a book I read a long time ago that I thought was good, uh, on this topic. It's called, you are a badass by a woman named Jen Cicero. Uh, I thought that was a really good book, um, on this exact topic. And it's much more in depth

than what I can answer here. But I thought that was helpful for me at the time. I probably read that book 10 years ago. Um, but you know, I think this is a natural progression, dude. And I don't think you're abnormal for, for, for, for feeling that way. And I also think that it's okay to feel that way too, because those feelings actually keep us humble, right? Would you want to be someone who just believed all your own fucking positive press clippings and think you're the fucking, you'd become the biggest egotistical fuckhead on the world. So a lot of that imposter syndrome, if we use it properly serves us very well because it keeps us humble and keeps us hungry because when we're humble and we're hungry uh you know we can progress but like a lot of people

again they mistake humility they think humility is not say anything not do anything not be anything and just shut up and go live a small life and, you know, be happy with what you have, be happy with your porridge peasant. Like that's what they think humility is. And humility isn't that dude. Humility is recognizing that I am no better than, uh, the person who has to, you know, take out the trash. Uh, and I am no less than the person who is worth a hundred billion dollars. And we start to recognize that we are all still human beings and we have capabilities. And, uh, it's not that, you know, we think less of other people. It's that we actually think more of the people behind us.

And so we find a good baseline of humility there. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely, man. Absolutely. So like that, when you're humble like that and you understand that, okay, you're not as good as you, as you are at the best you've ever been, but you're also not shit. When people tell you you're shit, that gives you a good baseline for self-confidence and self-esteem. Right? So like these all things, all these things intertwine, man. And it's, uh, it's interesting how people see it, but I think the imposter

syndrome thing is a normal, a normal, I think of most entrepreneurs who have any sort of success or following or financial growth or they own anything, I think if you ask them, dude, like and you got them to be real, they're all gonna struggle with that. I haven't really met anybody that doesn't.

Yeah. So is it safe to say, like even going off of the intro conversation things like anxiety uh things like imposter syndrome right while most people will look at these things as signs that okay it's time to quit this isn't for me those are actually the common denominators of what it takes to become successful he's just looking at it the wrong way and maybe not dealing with it appropriately yeah i think the way to leverage it for yourself is to say okay i'm feeling low about myself right now um things seem to be good but i do have work to do and then go do that work and just do it yeah yeah i want to touch back on what

i said about humility you know like people misunderstand humility they think a lot of people think that it's you know you have to think of less of yourself, but you can also be humble and think more of others. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. People try to remove themselves from the spotlight. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because like, bro, when I look at other motherfuckers, the whole, my whole thing is, is I look at people and I'm like, bro, you're capable of so much more. And that's not, that's not me thinking I'm better than you. That's I'm saying you're underliving your potential. There's nothing egotistical or arrogant about that. That's how that's humility. Because what I'm saying is I see the same things I have in you and you're just not capitalizing on them.

And I'm trying to raise you up. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. So a lot of times people will judge people as not humble because they're, you know, they love themselves. Real talk. Like I'm proud of who the fuck I am. I'm proud of what I am. I'm proud of what I've done. At the same time, I think any of you listening are capable of doing what I've done. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. There's nothing not humble about that.

Yeah, absolutely, man. Humble is a funny thing, bro. Yeah. Most people use it as an excuse to attack other people. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Because of their own inabilities.

That's right. Yeah. Well, and like, bro, there's people that, you know, there's people on inabilities that's right yeah well and like bro there's people that you know there's people on the internet talk about humility all the time bro and then you go to their page and every single fucking post of theirs is you know them with no shirt on or that or all their material shit or whatever and it's like look man like you're not fooling nobody you know i'm saying like being humble is really, it's really a value of service and a perspective that you see other people as, as, as the same as you. And, and how could I, how could I honestly dedicate my entire life to helping other people win if I wasn't humble enough to realize that the people I'm trying to help win have the same qualities I have. Right.

You see what I'm saying? Right. So it doesn't matter how many fucks I use or how my tone is or how many fucking nice ass cars I have. I still know that I'm no better than anybody listening. And I know that every motherfucker listening to this show right now, you right now have every bit of capability that I had the exact same. You just got to fucking execute me.

Andy question. Number two, Andy, uh, Andy, question number two. Andy. Andy, I'm a big time listener from Switzerland. My boss thinks I'm too good natured towards customers. I often hear at work or in private life that I'm very nice and helpful and almost too well behaved. I think that there are enough dickheads in the world. Why should I become one too? But on the other hand, I see how guys that are assholes overtake me, occupy high positions and seem to get what they want in life. My wife says I shouldn't change, but I'm starting to doubt my niceness. What would you advise me to do? I would advise you to look at the situation as a

realist. What you're doing is you're confusing two different things as one thing. You are looking at people who have achieved more than you, and you are saying the reason they have achieved more than you is because they're an asshole. That is not why they have achieved more than you. The reason they have achieved more than you is because they are probably higher skilled, but they also have something that you don't have,

which you need to develop, which is the ability to stand up for yourself when the time comes. Okay? You can be the nicest person in the world. You can give people the shirt off your back. You can help people as much as possible. And when you become that nice person, you also become a target for high level manipulative people who will walk all over you. And if you don't have a strong boundary that you are willing to say, Hey, listen, I'm a nice guy, but don't fuck with me. Okay. If you don't have that ability in you, you're going to get walked all over. So you have to develop a little bit of an edge there, bro. You have to learn where your boundary

is of people not walking all over you. And you also have to identify that the difference between you and the quote unquote asshole probably isn't that they're an asshole. It's probably that they have a boundary that you think is being mean when in reality it's a necessary skill that you must have to occupy the position and continue to move up the scale. So you have to look at setting a boundary as a skill set and keep the niceness. Don't lose the good nature ship, bro. The world needs more of that than it's ever needed before ever. Both can exist. Yeah.

And both can exist. And they are not two different things. They can be the same fucking thing. But you're seeing it the wrong way. That's why you think you can't have this. People think like binary, right? I can only be if I'm nice. I can never be mean.

Right. That's not true. I'm nice as fuck, bro. But I'm going to tell you, if you step on my toes, I'm nice as fuck bro but I'm gonna tell you if you step on my toes I'm gonna stomp on yours every single time every single time and that's that's what's allowed me to continue to progress because while I am nice generous and will help you people start to respect me because they know okay let's not take advantage of that because we know bad things won't occur right right I heard that one time they got tried you know step on his toes yeah right exactly you make an example of few of those people they

stop fucking with you okay jordan peterson talks about this when he talks about everybody should become a fucking monster and then learn to control it all right so that's what that is like i will tear your motherfucking head off dude and everybody fucking everybody fucking knows it. But here's the thing. I don't go there. I don't go. I have the capacity to go there, but I don't fucking go there. I will. I will. In fact, I will let people have as much grace as possible because I know once that line

is crossed, it's not good. It's a monster. That's right. And so I do what you need to work on and what all of you need to work on who are nice, good people is developing that ability to just say no. And that's the boundary. It's the boundary of saying no when you mean no, right? No is a powerful statement and it's also a complete sentence and it requires no explanation. I do not need to explain to you why the answer is fucking no. The answer is just fucking no. Oh well why not because i said so well why

not because i feel like it why not i don't because it doesn't matter it's no and we all have the right to be that way and in society bro we've lost that skill set of saying no because it's been deemed impolite or or or mean it's not mean it's simple communication like and change your perspective from it being a mean thing is setting a boundary and just understand it's simple communication it's very simple like no i'm not doing that or no i'm not or hey uh that was bullshit like start to fucking tell people whenever they cross over that line and people will start to learn where the line is if you don't let them know if people don't know where the line is bro then then they will they will walk as far until that line exists and if that line doesn't exist they'll walk right over you or even worse you

just keep redrawing the line after it gets crossed yeah you know i'm saying that's a downward spiral yeah and it's you know it's um it's it's a weird thing like dude i don't think i don't think that there's anything wrong with being kind or nice or any of those things. And I think a lot of times people, like even for me, I think people misperceive me and misunderstand me a lot of times. Like they hear me get fired up or passionate about something I care about or that because I use profanity in the most artistic way possible. Okay. And got a gold fucking medal for how good I use it. Yeah. All right.

They think I'm a mean person, right? I'm not a mean person. Well, ask anybody in here if I'm a mean guy. Well, ask anybody spending time with me if I'm mean. No,

I'm the probably one of the best fucking people when it comes to helping people, lifting people up, doing good things in the world that fucking exist. The difference is, is that if you step on my toes, there's a fucking line there that I hold very firmly. And so like, if you could develop that,

I think that's a great balance. I think that's a great way to be because that line gets crossed so infrequently that in reality, and then, you know, once people know it's there, they stop crossing it. And then you can live a nice, peaceful life and everybody's happy. Everybody gets treated with respect.

You get to help people. they get to receive your help it that's how the world goes around we as a culture and humanity have just lost the ability to be a confrontational in any sort of way um up it up to and including just saying no. That's because it's all online now. Yeah. But like- 100 years ago, you couldn't run on the hotline. Do you ever notice, like, this is something that I see online a lot that I wish people would realize. Like, do you ever notice how many people over-explain themselves?

Like, do you ever notice how people will, like, whatever they're posting or whatever they're saying online, they have to, like, explain it sort of. know, like they'll post a picture of their, of their car. Right. And they're like, I usually don't post this picture of cars, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or, um, they'll post a picture of the physique they built. And they're like, well, you know, I usually don't post these selfies, bro. Just fucking do it. it like stop explaining yourself the the explanation that you're like preemptively trying to put in is is is diluting the respect that people would have for you if you just owned who the fuck you were right and you just say hey man fuck my fucking car is cool i think it's cool i hope you like it yeah right right like just own who the fuck you know

it's okay i'm proud of who the fuck I am. I'm proud of my physique. You don't have to say shit. Post your shit and fucking, you know, like, dude, stop over explaining. Like, stop. Stop all this shit, bro. Like, you don't owe people an explanation. You really don't. And dude, when you over explain, it lowers your value in people's eyes because people inherently feel that on the inside.

They're like, this doesn't feel right. Like, it't, there's, it doesn't pass the smell test. You know what I mean? Of confidence. So like a lot, like, dude, you know, own who you are, man. You're a fucking nice dude, but don't fuck with me. You know what I'm saying? I'll do anything for you, but don't fuck with me. I'll, I'll fucking, I'll fucking come to your house. I'll wash your car. I'll fucking mow your lawn. Don't fuck with me. There's nothing wrong with me. I'll fucking come to your house. I'll wash your car. I'll fucking mow your lawn. Don't fuck with me. There's nothing wrong with that. That's how we have to be, bro. Otherwise, people will walk all over your whole life. And if you set that standard and once you teach people how to behave and operate with you, now you can go live your whole life being happy and peaceful

and fun and jolly and all the shit that you like to be and still be fucking successful and productive and win because you cannot win without the ability to say, no, you can't fucking win that way. Can't do it. Can't do it, bro. I would never promote someone in my company to a leadership position that didn't have, how could I fucking put someone in a leadership position? Think about this. That couldn't fucking tell people no. Can't hold a line. Yeah.

It's a fundamental reality skill that you have to have to be successful. So like that shit that you're perceiving as guys being an asshole is just their boundary, most likely. And they're probably skilled. You know, and maybe they're not as nice as you,

but the world doesn't work on the fucking nice rating, bro. The world works on the effectiveness rating. What kind of results do you produce did the job get done the reality is that it works so much that way that you have to be a total fucking cocksucker to fuck it up if you're a high producing individual that's real it's real talk like you have to be a terrible human to fuck it up if you're a high producing individual you have to the world your guys's perception the world's perception of how it really works has been distorted and been built to think that it's around your feelings and it's right it's still not that way it'll never be that way it's still a meritocracy and so many people

are playing by this other set of rules on fucking feelings now that they're getting a rude awakening. This is what I talked about on the MFCEO project for so long. I talked about how these kids would come through life, never being told no, getting participation trophies, being told it was going to be easy, being told they're entitled to other people's wealth, being told that socialism is a great thing being told all this shit right and they believed it they're like fuck yeah okay well by the time i'm 25 dude i'll be i'll be getting everybody's shit so i'll be good and now here they are they're unemployable they're throwing

public temper tantrums they're they're they fucking broke they're fucking miserable and then instead of saying man i fucking made a. They're saying, I'm choosing to be broken, miserable. That's my life choice. I'm humble. I'm humble. I'm simple. I'm living a minimalist life. Minimalist life.

You see what I'm saying? Like, dude, we're. Hold on. Let me take a sip of my IPA here. Yeah, right. Like, bro. Like, I can very clearly see that you guys are not fucking happy. And I wish you guys

would just come to terms with you were sold a bag of shit for for the truth and the truth is skills pay the fucking bills and it's going to be that way today it's going to be that way tomorrow it was this way 10 years ago it was this way 40 years ago it was this way a thousand years ago and it's going to be that way a thousand years from now so the quicker that you can start to realize that this idealistic fucking nonsense that they have pumped into people's brains, that things operate on people's feelings and start to operate with the understanding that it operates on results produced and skill sets obtained and executed and leveraged to build and winning, you'll start to win, but cannot that's like playing that's like me and

you sitting down for a game of chess and me starting to play checkers on the board yeah right ain't gonna work i hate the game and like dude it's that simple like it just isn't the game feelings aren't the game results produced are the game that is fucking it and it'll always be that way and and you can be you have to be you can be as nice as fucking humanly possible, bro. And if you don't understand the skills and you have no skills, you can't win. Cannot fucking win. Nice is not like a skill set in that regard. You have to be able to produce.

Now it's always better if you're a fucking producer and a nice person that brings other people with you. That's a great way to be. I think that's the way the world should be but this confusion that people generally have about feelings and niceness and these things paying the bills is not accurate it's not true it's not a real thing it's it's like okay you know this is like this is like the nice this is like the nice guy uh with girls right like girls always talk about this shit they're like you know the fucking guy friend with girls who's nice as shit brings them flowers this that the other and she doesn't want to date him but he'll still fucking treat her like all

this shit and then he ends up getting fucking furious that she won't fuck him well here's the deal bro um you you feel entitled to her doing that because you're doing this and this is no different than people who are nice in business. Oh, I'm the nicest guy ever. I deserve to be rewarded. That's your, that's not even really genuinely nice. That's manipulation. You think that because you're nice, you're, you're here to produce, you're going, you're entitled to some sort of success or result and that's not reality Reality is you produce fucking results with the skills you have and your personality is a plus or minus to that like the whole game is misunderstood by an entire generation of people and that gives the people who understand that a

Massive advantage over everybody else it is skills It is execution and it is execution, and it is results. And that is it. And if you have a great personality, which you should, you'll do better with skills, execution, and results. It's a plus. There's lots of people who do not have the personality that still have the skills, execution, and results that make a fuck ton of money. And that's what I'm saying. you have to be a pretty terrible human being to really fuck that up because that's so much how it works that way it's not even a little bit the other way you follow me absolutely like dude you guys are playing the wrong game you're trying to play checkers on a fucking chess board

and then you're pissed off that you're not producing the results well you've been told that the rules of chess are actually checkers your whole life, and that's not my fault. And it's nature. And it's not the asshole's fault. No, it's not the asshole's fault. It's your fucking parents' fault.

It's your teacher's fault. And it's the people you trust's fault. And it's also your fault for not looking into other opinions besides theirs. And so you believe the shit that they sold you, and now you're pissed, and you're pissed at the people who are doing shit because they didn't buy the lesson that you bought. So just change your perspective and realize you got fucking lied to and change your life and you'll be right there with them.

Guys, Andy, our third and final question. Andy, question number three. Andy, I'm quickly approaching making my first million dollars in my business that I've ran for the last five years. Can you walk us through your headspace when you made your first million dollars in my business that I've ran for the last five years. Can you walk us through your headspace when you made your first million dollars? Did you have any new realizations? Did it change how you operate it? And what are some of the things that I should be mindful of when I get closer to this milestone?

Is he talking like personally make a million dollars? Personally making a million dollars. I never thought anything of it because I wanted to make a billion so i never like like that was expected for me the first time i made a million dollars i didn't celebrate i didn't think it was i didn't think anything of it i was just like oh well made a million dollars that's how i thought about it yeah you know and uh not even for a second you were like damn okay that's a million right there no not really and my shit just got nicer my house has got nicer my fucking cars got nicer business got bigger and it was all the same yeah it's all the same dude i'm telling you what i tell you guys about like it being there's a point of of your life where you're going to get

enough money to where all the money after that is going to feel very small to you. It's not going to make an impact. And I didn't need to make a million dollars to be happy. See what I'm saying? So when I could go to dinner and I could pay for dinner and I have to look at the menu and not care, and that doesn't take a million dollars. That takes less than a million dollars. So I didn't really think anything of it. I just didn't. And I also think you need to be careful about how hard you value that quote unquote specific number on your income. Because if that's what you value and that's what you see, that's the value that you set on yourself. And it's most likely that because most people will fall slightly short of their actual dream goal, because goals are not really truly achieved the way that people

think they're achieved. Most people will set a goal, like say a million bucks and they will get to $800,000 and then they will say, okay, well, I'm close to a million. And they kind of just hang out at 800,000 and tell themselves they're making a million. I'm a millionaire now. Right. And they're not. And that's how most people achieve goals. So they actually never achieve the goal, but the champion, the people who continue to grow and they never slow down and never stop. When those people get to 800,000, they automatically take that goal from a million to 10 million and they just keep moving. And they don't think about it when they cross over that first goal, even though, because they've already raised the bar before they hit the first goal.

So it's a different way of thinking that I think separates people who are moderately successful from people who continuously progress and grow and win more and more and more over the course of their life. So like, I would be careful how much you put on a specific number because then it makes it almost really impossible to reach, you know, shoot for it. But then before you get to it, raise it up and continue to go. And, um, that's, that's my advice on that. And as far as like, I mean, what do you ask about? Uh, you said, and, uh, the final part of that question was what are some things that he should be mindful of when you start making money

and people start to realize that you're making money a lot of people start to go into manipulation mode They start seeing you as a solution to their problems instead of a friend They start seeing you as someone with no feelings and you have all the money in the world And what difference does it make if you give me a hundred thousand because it's not gonna hurt you and they start feeling entitled to Your your wealth and and the things and and bro and when you don't give it to them a lot of those people will hate you and so that's a that's a real thing so like um if you're gonna make a lot of money you're gonna have to get used to people like hating you because it's it's just the culture in america right now when i grew

up the culture in america was we celebrated successful people because they were living the American dream. They were they were. Now you have all this communist propaganda that's infected people's minds and it's not celebrated the same way. And in fact, we have such a useless group of people. A certain segment of society in our country is so useless that all they do is look for ways to get other people shit. And so like, dude, you become a target. You get people who are not ethical, you know, pretending to be your best friend. Uh, and you'll get fooled a bunch of times. And you know, especially if you're a nice guy, like the guy in the last question, you know? Um, so you gotta be careful of that. But I mean, the reality is as much as I warn you, you're not going to believe it because the people that come

at you are going to make you feel like you're the smartest, best fucking coolest thing ever. And, and you know, you're going to believe it because you want to believe that you're the smartest, best and coolest thing ever. So like people will play into your ego. They will pump you full of fucking shit that isn't even true. They will make you feel you're so much better than you are. And this is why, like, this is why for me personally you

guys will hear me downplay my actual success most of the time you know what i'm saying like i like you say oh man congrats on the success my answer is always well dude look i got a long way to go and i mean that you know what i'm saying that because that that that helps defend me from people like coming at my ego you know i don't like that shit and i can see when someone's doing it now i'm old enough and experienced them to see it so a lot of you young motherfuckers that think you're smooching me you're actually just writing yourself right off right off out of my life immediately oh you know what i'm saying it's so easy to see once you've been through it a little bit but when you when you have to go through it when you first start making money it's a um

it's a more difficult thing to navigate yeah i love that man so you're saying just don't put too much pressure on that finite uh number and become more aware of actually what's possible i know you're doing it right just elevate the number i i'm saying realize that your goal is very small and you need to set a new goal. If you're, if you're that close to a million dollars, stop talking about the million dollars, start talking about $10 million and keep fucking moving. Million dollars ain't what it used to be. And I know a lot of people are hearing this and they're saying, Oh yeah, it's easy for someone with millions of dollars. Yeah, it is. Except I have many responsibilities. And if I only had a

million dollars, I couldn't fucking take care of them okay so like as you grow a company you're going to have more people that means more responsibility you are responsible for those people yeah like you you those people's kids eat because of what the fuck you do the decisions you make yeah and if you if you short circuit your fucking own goal setting because you think a million dollars a lot of money right now. You're actually not hurting you. You're hurting them. See what I'm saying?

So we have to fucking keep ourselves moving because of the obligations that we have to other people that have helped us get there. So it's a, it's a, you know, and that's a responsibility a lot of people don't think about. Yeah. Yeah, man. You get, you get enough employees, bro. And they start, you start getting to the age where they're having families and kids and you see it on the internet and you see them with their kids and like bro it's a different thing it's a different thing it's not about you anymore it's about holy shit like those little kids are not going to eat if i don't get the fuck up and do

my shit you know what i mean like that's a fucking that's i take that serious you know you guys wonder why i fucking put in all this effort and do all these things and I'm out fucking killing myself and shit. It's not so like more people will do 75 hard or bro. I have to do those things. I'm not a superhero. I have to do those things just like you have to do those things to pull the best out of me so that I can fulfill my responsibilities to the people that fucking have trusted me

with their livelihood. It's a big fucking responsibility, man. So like if you're a fucking leader of a company and you're just a fat sloppy fuck, you're actually fucking all the people that work for you, bro, because you're not pulling one fucking ounce of your abilities into what it is you're capable of doing. And I think that's a fucking terrible tragedy for people. And dude, if you're working for someone who ain't living the fucking life and who isn't fucking like taking it that serious, maybe you should consider relocating and working for someone who fucking does take it that serious. Because dude, and those people are very rare, but those kind of people will pull you fucking to the highest highs you've never fucking been to. And I think that's a big deal.

Yeah. We only get one life, bro. We only have so much time you know what i mean that's fucking real man i love it well guys andy that was three man go pay the fee yeah we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch, booted, swole Got her on bankroll, can't fold Just a note, headshot, case closed