REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 504. Q&AF: Leading By Example, Humility Vs. Confidence & The 24-Hour Rule Of Celebrating

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to lead your team effectively through your actions, where humility and confidence play a role in your success, and what's the best way to celebrate after reaching a massive milestone.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusionsusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the AFs. You can submit questions to be answered on these episodes of Q and AF a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email those questions into askandy at andyfrasella.com. And the second way is, I just did take a drink of my amazing first form protein shake this is not an ad by the way yeah no it's not because you can't even get those yeah it is

huh can't get them no you can't get them you only get them here it's not an ad yeah so anyway uh where was i oh if this is your first time listening to the show we're not always q a type format we have multiple formats within the show okay we have q, which is what you're going to hear today. And then you're going to have CTI. CTI is Cruise the Internet. That's where we throw up current event headlines on the screen. We talk about them. We talk about what may be true, what may not be true.

We speculate on what is really going on. And it's a shame that we have to do that in today's world, but it is reality. And then we talk about how we can help solve these problems together as individuals to make the world a better place. Other times you'll have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me delivering some information that I think needs to be heard by you. And then we have full length. Full length is what you see on most other podcasts, just a group of people having a conversation. And that's what it's about. Most of our content here is about personal development, winning, kicking ass, business and life, how to navigate the reality of the world that we live in.

But sometimes people have a hard time understanding why we have the CTI. The reason we have CTI and the reason we talk about the social events and the reason that we bring this up is because without understanding the environment that's in the world we cannot have success in our own lives all right it's no different than a fish in an aquarium if the water is dirty if you don't take care of it if you don't keep an eye on it if you don't keep it clean the fish die same thing with your business and your success if we don't keep an eye on freedom if we don't watch what's going on in the world if we don't keep an eye on it. If you don't keep it clean, the fish die. Same thing with your business and your success. If we don't keep an eye on freedom, if we don't watch what's going on in the world, if we don't take an interest in it, and this goes for all you motherfuckers that say, oh, I'm not very political. I'm talking to you. Okay. The reason the world looks like shit is

because you keep saying, oh, the world's not, I'm not very political. And you act like it's not happening. That doesn't mean that it's not going to affect your business or your life. Okay. So the reason that we mix all of this together on one show is because this show is about winning and to win, we have to have fertile soil of freedom. And that's what, how that fits in. So for all of that, we have what's called the fee. The fee is very simple. If we do a good job, please share the show. If we make you laugh, we make you think, if we give you a new perspective, if you learn some valuable information, some good tactics are going to help you in your life, please share the episode. If we make you laugh, we make you think, if we give you a new perspective, if you learn some valuable information, some good tactics that are gonna help you in your life,

please share the episode. That's what we ask. And I think that's it, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right, cool. What's up? No, nothing much, man. What's going on? What are you drinking over there? This is the MFCEO shake.

Oh, you're drinking it yourself. Yeah, I am. I'm drinking it myself. It's kind of gay. How's it taste? Yeah. No comment. Just like I thought thought chocolate and cherries ah we're working on that one all night you know i bet you have it still wasn't very funny you got me though yeah but you know before the show we were talking about how you are a muslim oh man yeah and how you converted a muslim for a girl

yeah well so dj's in here telling us we're all sitting here and dj's telling us about he's how it's the last day of ramadan today which is friday you'll hear this on monday yeah and um he's telling me how he's actually a muslim and i've been with you for three and a half years every single day fucking 15 hours a day and i never knew this yeah i've never seen you do any of the muslim stuff yeah right and so my natural reaction was when you told me that you converted well what was the girl's name because the only reason that people do weird ass shit yeah uh and totally change their whole perspective is for for women typically for Puntang. Yeah,

no, no real. So real disclaimer, I have not been a strict practicing Muslim, uh, for a few years now. Um, no, but it is a real thing.

I did, uh, I converted back in 2013. Uh, technically I was, I was in a weird spot in life, you know, a lot of shit going on.

Um, you know, we don't talk about religion or spirituality much, but there was a conversion, you know. I spent the next three years practicing heavily, praying five times a day. I swear to God. You did not. Swear to God, dude.

And the crazy thing is, it was actually one of the, like, during those three years, I probably would say I was at the most peaceful time in my life really really like because i mean dude there was a lot of a lot of stuff going on man uh my brother my older brother he had his first overdose at the time and like for me it was a shock like this is my brother right like he's eight years older than me we had the same birthday we were up together like that's my guy. And, you know, nobody knew he was having any issues. And then first overdose, we find out about it.

I'm like, shit. You know, so I was in a really weird spot mentally. And, yeah, I was in college and woke up at like 3 in the morning. I just started Googling, you know, stuff. I went to a Catholic school, right? And so I was getting exposed to that side of it. And then I started looking into Islam. I'm like, man, this shit's kind of interesting, you know? And then there was a small masjid down

the street from my college, 30 people. Quincy's a small town. And, um, yeah, I went, man. And like, dude, a lot of the stuff just made sense to me. And from that time, I think that was, it was like February of 2013 or no, it would have been February of like 2014. I convert, no, sorry. When was it? No, it was like November of 2013. And cause I blew my first year of college, my first semester of college, dude, I went in,

my GPA was like a 1.6 my first semester of college. Like I was, I was in a really crazy spot. Like partying and stuff? Yeah, dude, I was losing my fucking mind. You know what I'm saying? I got cut loose. You know, I never really did any of the partying shit in high school so i got to college and lost my mind legitimately a lot of kids and there was a girl involved in that part um yeah man and so yeah but uh yeah that was that was uh that was definitely a chapter of the dj story book

i didn't even know that yeah yeah and i like dude i mean even to this day like i mean because alex and i we talk about it all the time like you know what's the religion of the household and it's like i mean i'm at a point now where it's just like i have a relationship with god i believe in a higher power um nothing's by fucking accident right um but then that's one of the things that the uh the imam the religious leader at the time he told me he's like listen you're gonna have a hard time like you know sticking with with with is Islam because you're Westernized, right. Where our society, our culture is indebted with alcohol and partying and things like that.

Whereas, you know, people who are born into that religion, that like, that's all they know. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And so they're able to stay strict for the overwhelming majority of them. They stay strict all their lives. They've never been corrupted. No. And so for me coming out of that lifestyle they stay strict all their lives. They've never been corrupted. No. And so for me coming out of that lifestyle and culture to try to convert to, I mean, you talk about discipline, bro.

I mean, it's there. You know, like, I mean, praying five times a day, no matter what, or the fasting during Ramadan. I mean, it's a lot that goes into it, but I still- How'd you do that fasting? Dude, surprisingly, I actually didn't do too bad yeah i mean because it's dude it's like i mean it's like anything bro it's like what i was just put into it yeah no that's what you put into it i mean it wasn't it was not fucking easy

at all you know but um yeah fasting is the easiest way to create discipline yeah well i mean dude like i mean i think it's ramadan i mean you tap into a whole different level of spirituality. Right. And like, there's things like, and like that was, that was one of the more beautiful things about the religion that I loved is because there's so many small lessons and things like one of the things you deal with in Ramadan, um, is your breath. Your breath has a very weird smell to it when you're fasting. And, you know, it's like like like i would get self-conscious

in the beginning i'm like fuck i don't even want to talk to nobody my fucking breath smells like shit right um but you learn that like that's actually one of the things that's like uh prized and uh honored is it means you're doing it it means you're actually doing it right and so it's like other people who are you know participating in ramadan they can pick up on that right and god rewards your discipline and that's one of the signs that you're actually doing it right so i mean it's things like that that i thought were beautiful about the religion you know what i think dude first of all i think that's a cool story and you know i'm just fucking with you of course so all of you guys are gonna be like we're gonna go dj's case this is all the fuck we do okay that's how we communicate what's interesting is

like you mentioned the peace thing mm-hmm and what what were you doing during that time do you think that made you the most peaceful about that what do you think it was I would say like following through and doing the things like no matter how crazy it was there were things that I had to do every single day. And no matter what- What's that sound like? Sounds like, what's that, 75 soft? Yeah, yeah, no shit.

No, but I'm just saying, dude, like- It's the same concept, for sure. Yeah, but it is, it's the point, I'm not trying to, it's not about the program. It's about practicing discipline. For sure. Like the reason that some of you guys feel so fucking lost and so anxious and so frustrated and so angry and bitter is because if you give yourself an honest assessment, you're

not practicing any discipline. Go look in the fucking mirror, bro. Okay. Like be honest with yourself. What are you practicing discipline? It can be many different things, but I i mean what are you disciplined about and and what i've found is that if you combine the three that these i we have the whole episode i forgot what episode it is but where we talk about the happiness equation you know it's discipline

um plus purpose knowing clearly what your purpose is what what is my mission right because it doesn't matter if you have a hundred billion dollars in the bank, bro. If you don't have a mission, you're going to be fucking miserable. You have to have a purpose. Okay. And then you have to have gratitude for where you are. And if you can combine those three things, that discipline with the mixed in with the purpose, mixed in with the gratitude and live that way. Now you're going to be fucking happy and you're going to be at peace and you're not going to be anxious. You're going to realize you're doing all the right things. And that, like if you ask yourself, like right now, like if I ask you if you're happy and

you say, well, not really, I'm kind of miserable. Well, one of those three things is out of whack or two or maybe all three. But to get really happy, what episode? 78 on Real AF. Go listen to it. This, this equation is true. And I feel like no matter who you talk to, no matter what path of life they come from, if you break down their life, the times when they were the happiest is the times where they exercise these three things consistently. And because people look at discipline in a negative light instead of a positive light, like I look at discipline as a great thing. I look at discipline

as like, fuck yeah, dude, I'm disciplined. Most people hear discipline and they hear it's hard. It's going to be hard, right? It's punishment. And if you can flip your perspective around to see it as a good thing, and then you can be grateful and you can have a clear purpose in your life, bro bro being happy is really not that hard and even when everything else on the outside is hard you can be pretty happy if you have those three things i think i mean would you would you agree i think most people actually are disciplined it's just they're disciplined in the wrong fucking shit like when i was in college partying that first semester that's not discipline though that's consistency

they're most people are consistent. Yeah. They're just consistent at the wrong things. This is why when people say the number one quality that you have to have to be successful is consistency. Okay. Well, I'm consistently shoving fucking 10,000 calorie meals in my face. I'm consistently fucking laying on the couch the whole day.

I'm consistently not moving my body. I'm consistently not drinking water. I'm consistently scrolling scrolling on my phone is that going to get you successful right right so like you guys who make these memes where you like do these half-assed memes off shit i say uh get it right okay because just saying consistency is the key is fucking pretty fucking stupid to someone who's actually successful because Cause it's not that everybody's consistent. Most people are just consistent and wrong things. Totally get what you're saying. Like it's,

it's a hundred percent true. Consistency is not the problem. It's, it's the discipline. It's making the choice to do the thing that is going to serve you in the long term, rather than what's going to serve you right now. Delay gratification,

discipline. These things matter, man, doing what you say you're going to do. These things matter so much that they completely make your life. They make your life what it is. If you're not happy right now and you're frustrated,

dude, legitimately audit yourself. Are you disciplined? Are you grateful for where you are, regardless of where you are, okay? Are you grateful? And do you have a purpose and those three things together will change your fucking life and and we're getting ready to go through some i believe what would be probably the most chaotic times in the history of

this country if you get those three three things in line you're going to come out the other side real good uh you're you're not going to be as affected as some of these other people but bro remember we're we're dealing with we're dealing with forces who are intentionally trying to make you feel like shit. Constantly. Constantly. You know, social media, if you've read the book, a lot of you guys have read the book by now, but if you read the book chaos machine, it talks in there about how the it's designed to be addictive. It's designed to make you feel a certain way. And there should be no surprises that we have, you know, this system that makes people feel a certain way. And there should be no surprises that we have, you know, this system

that makes people feel a certain way. And then the other companies that are partnered with this, with these big tech companies who happen to be pharma companies are selling you a pill to make you feel better for the shit they're actually creating. I mean, this would be like if I owned a McDonald's and then, and then owned a nutrition store and I kept sending people back and forth, like that's what the fuck we're talking about.'m gonna show you so you should to make you hungry yeah right right dude it's it's just uh we have to take control of it for ourselves and those three components are extremely important but it's interesting that you brought that up in the uh in regards to you know islam and the in the discipline of practicing islam i'm telling i

was in the most chaotic shit i I mean, you talk about finals. Well, I know some of the other stuff too. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? There's a lot of stuff in there. And like, but like knowing that I accomplished and I knocked out my prayers, right? And knowing that I read my book. It gives you a semblance of control

over your life. I had some type of fucking win. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, okay, well, at least I did that. Like, okay, that might be fucked up, but I did these things you know it's a very it's the exact same concept yeah it's beautiful it's fucking cool to hear that yeah i mean hey there's some different chapters in dj for sure for sure dude yeah uh and if you're interested in fixing your discipline uh go to episode 208 go do the fucking live hard program okay that's the point of it all right so we got a show yeah we do i got some good ones oh dear got some good ones shocking uh let's knock these out man any

question number one andy i have a well-running business and a good hard-working crew but most of them live on fast food and canned soft drinks how can i mediate a change in their eating habits and making them better especially when this topic doesn't necessarily fall in the work category and more on their personal side? What will you do if you were in my situation? Okay, this is no different than you I'm going to assume that you are not exactly living to that standard yourself. Okay. And the reason I'm going to assume that is because if you were, and you were doing it to an undeniable level, you would have people joining in, wanting to join in one by one okay when i first started to go from fat fuck andy to jack tan rich as fuck andy okay in 2000 15 16. all right i started walking i started training hard all right our culture and our company was total difference than it is now. We got fucking wasted. We partied. We fucking

our meetings on Sundays lasted until four in the morning. We got up, went to work on Mondays. Like it was very much so a party atmosphere. Guess who led that? Guess who started that? That was me. Okay. So I made, I made the party atmosphere through my actions. So when I started to change and I started to diet, and I've talked about this on the show, and I started, this is before 75 Hard. This is just when I was fat as fuck and I lost 100 pounds in 2015, or 2016, 17. I lost 100 pounds, 110 actually.

And as I started going through that journey, other people in the company started doing it with me. Okay. And if you look at pictures of the guys in this company who are still here, who are my executives, the will, the fucking Aaron, the fucking teach the Sal Cody's my dad,

my mom, everybody around me was fucking fat or much fatter than they are now. My dad lost 40 pounds. My mom lost nearly 100 pounds. Sal lost 40 pounds. Fucking teach lost 40 pounds. OK, that's my leadership and my commitment to being who I wanted to be rubbing off on them.

And then, by the way, those guys, a lot of those guys have taken that to a whole different level. Like Will now, maybe one of the best hybrid athletes in the fucking world bro you know what i'm saying like he ran he ran a hundred fucking miles we're in a sub three on a whim he runs a sub three hour marathon at fucking 215 pounds you see what i'm saying like so these guys have all taken that further in their own way and they're in, you know, Sal wrecked a marathon. That's a huge fucking deal, right? So like, but it started with just me deciding I was no longer doing it.

I stopped drinking, I started working out, I started taking my shit serious, everybody started to observe it, and one by one they joined in and it proved their lies. And this actually goes into the concept of how I talk about personal excellence as ultimate rebellion, because when

you are personally excellent, guess what happens? One by one by one by one, people start to join in on that. And so like you can literally see it. If you go back and look at pictures of these guys in our company from that time, everybody was, Joe, how much heavier were you? 80 pounds? You know what I'm saying? Like 40 by you. Yeah. 80 fucking pounds. You see what I'm saying? Everywhere I look, motherfuckers are getting in shape and making big progresses and doing all these things. I wonder where that came from.

Well, fuck dude, it comes from you. So you're the leader and it's not, Hey, I'm the leader. Do this. It's Hey,

I'm the leader. I'll do it first. And you guys fucking come whenever you're ready and you go out and live that life and you make it undeniable. And eventually one of those people in your company is going to say, you know what, bro? How'd you do that? How'd you do that? You know, how do you make your food? How do you, and they'll start asking you questions like that. And one by one, they'll start joining in. So remember the first thing is you have to be about it for people to follow you like That's it. There's no way around it. You can't fake it

You can't not be around it and then want these people to do that and expect them to listen to what you say It's too hard. It's too hard. It's hard as fuck to hold a high standard in all areas of your life People aren't going to do it unless they feel Like it's possible and the only way it unless they feel like it's possible. And the only way for them to feel like it's possible is for them to observe it. And the only way for them to observe it is for you to become it. Okay?

And this is what the whole concept of personal excellence is ultimate rebellion revolves around. All right? It's the ripple effect that's created in society. Now, if all of us listening to this show, which is millions of people, by the way, if all of us listen to this show, which is millions of people, by the way, if all of us listen to this show, um, and we all fucking raise our standards and we all did what I just said,

how different would the world look in a fucking year? How different would it look in two years? Okay. And this is the actual key to fixing what's going on in our society, in our culture here in America and wherever you live. So that's the first step. You have to live it. Okay. Are you going to be perfect? Absolutely not. Am I perfect? Absolutely fucking not. Okay. I fuck up a lot of shit. I fucked up a lot of shit in my past. I made mistakes that I fucking regret, but guess what? That's life in the big city. We fucking do shit. We fuck up. We make mistakes. We keep moving. We hold ourselves back to that standard.

And we try to live it as much as possible. And I think that's something that's misunderstood by people too. They believe that living a high standard life means that you never, ever come off that standard. That's not true. Your job is to identify when you have come off the standard and get back to it as quickly as possible. So that's the first thing. If you're not living it, it's impossible. So you have to be living it. And the reason I assume that you're not living it is because you wouldn't be asking the question if you were. All right. Now, what can you do on top of that? Okay. If you own a company and you want your people to be in shape, a lot of companies, we do corporate health and wellness.

A lot of companies will work with our brand for their employees. A lot of companies do this. You could, you can start a health and wellness club. You could do a contest in your office. Guess who else does contests in their office? Me. And you know what I do? I bet everybody in office, you can't fucking beat me. And everybody wants to beat me because I don't fucking lose. All right. So, you know, that gets people inspired and it gives people a little extra boost and they talk shit to me and they get to like you know they get to say shit that they probably want to say every day right you know what i'm saying i'm gonna beat your ass yeah but i like it i like it because it's it's in good fun because we're all getting

better you know what i'm saying yeah it's not disrespectful and um and dude i'll tell you another thing too this is a really good initiative for any of you that have companies, because if you think about how T how people bond and you want to bond a team that works together, people do not bond in easy times. People bond in times of discomfort. You know, the greatest teams, um, they didn't, they don't bond because they have Tom Brady and fucking Gronk and like all these great apps. That's not what bonds them, bro. You know what bonds them?

Being out in the fucking two days at the end of July and the beginning of August, sweating their fucking asses off, wishing that they were fucking dead other than having to be at football practice, working their ass off and earning each other's respect through the process. Okay. That's what bonds people. So like health and wellness is a great area to bond your team around because it allows you an opportunity to get out and do the work with these people. You know, I mean, dude, you see it here all the time, right? We have group workouts here every

single day of our different departments work out together. Sometimes Sal gets in there. I don't get in there very much. I do my own thing, but like there's a, you know, for years I got in there and did the shit with these guys. Um, honestly, the reason I don't get in it now is because it's just not what I'm, I'm dedicated to other things. Plus we're doing it at like four o'clock in the fucking morning. Not only that,

bro, like, like real talk, like those guys are tough and I'm pussy. Like, I'm not, I'm just being real. Like I,

some of the shit, like I got real athletes here, bro. Like I'm not a real athlete.. I'm a washed up old man that tries to stay jacked and tanned so I fucking look good. These motherfuckers are real athletes. I got fucking... What do we got? Four dudes here qualified for

Boston Marathon. We got fucking... Mason just ran one. Yeah, we got a guy just... We got fucking hybrid athletes doing all this crazy shit running... We had nine people run 50 fucking miles or 30 miles the other night, in the middle of the night, like, these people are real athletes, bro, I'm

okay, let's self-assess, alright, but the point is, you know, that's where the culture's escalated to, because dudes, six years ago, seven years ago, eight years ago, it was party hardy, fucking, get fucked up, and you know what, we'll wear bigger shirts, hide it, we're fat, now it's like it was party hardy, fucking get fucked up. And you know what?

We'll wear a bigger shirts, hide it. We're fat. Now it's like, holy fuck. Like these people are like crushing it. You know what I mean? And that's where the culture grew to. But you know, people walk in the building and they say, well, what's, what's the secret here? Well, honestly, if I'm being real, it's, I think a lot of it comes from that. It comes from doing the uncomfortable things together, working together, respecting each other, pushing through the hard times and learning to bond. So if you can help make your company healthier by you being healthy and living a high standard, your business is going to grow.

And so like a lot of you guys who ask these business questions, you're like, what's the best thing I could do? Well, you could get your fat fucking ass in shape and you could show them that you're fucking working hard and you could show, cause that says I care. Right. And they take you seriously. And so like, dude, if you want to help your company, you should be helping yourself with that part of it. So you're going to have a health and wellness program, competitions, uh, all kinds of little incentive things.

And you know, you don't want to push it on them. That's fine. You don't have to, it's optional to get in, but you're going to get one or two people that are going to do it or three people that are going to do it. And the truth of the matter is, is like, dude, you should be leading that charge. So it's, it comes down. Listen, man, um, Vince Lombardi said it perfectly. You can't say it any better. And he said it, he said, uh, leading by example, isn by example isn't the best way to win. It's the only way to win. It's the only fucking way. Can't fucking do it without it.

So take it seriously and people will join you. I really think it's that simple. I love it. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, you've talked about being confident and having confidence in what you're doing. You also talk about being humble and the importance of that. One thing I don't want to do is to be so confident that I'm not being humble, but also not being so humble that I don't have the confidence in what I'm doing.

How do you balance being humble and confident at the same exact time? It's a fine line to walk. First of all, let's address humility because most people see humility completely fucking wrong. All right. You guys, as in general, the general public see humility as living a very small life. You see it as not having material possessions. You see it as not being very successful. You see it as I don't need that.

First of all, that's meek. That's not humble. All right? That's a different thing. They're not the fucking same thing. You can have all the money in the world, still be humble. And in fact, most of the people that have most of the money in the world were pretty fucking humble because the reason that humble is valuable to anybody

is because it keeps you in a position where you can continue to learn and get better and better and better. And the minute that you can't learn, the minute that you can't get better, the minute that things, you know, you know, everything, you can no longer progress. So by nature to even get the fucking all the money in the world, you have to be humble in the process because there's always new shit to learn. All right. So most of you guys completely fucking lose the ball when it comes to what you think humble means, all right?

So humble, how it serves us is basically this. You understand that your actions produce a result. And then if anybody else were to do the exact same actions that you do, they could also produce that result. That's a humble way of thinking, all right? What that says is, they could also produce that result. That's a humble way of thinking. All right. What that says is I know it's not me. It's actually the actions I'm taking. And if I could get Steve over here to do the same actions, he would also be successful. And by the way, this is why I do the show because I understand this very clearly.

I am fucking no, there's nothing special about me at all. I'm just a person who is analytic enough and resilient and gritty enough to learn from my mistakes and not quit. And that is it. And so understand that when you say you see someone driving a fucking Lambo and you say, oh, that's not humble. You sound like a fucking idiot. You sound like a bitter little hater bitch. Okay. Cause it has nothing to do with it, all right? Humble is how you think of yourself versus how you think of other people. And if you think that other people could do the same thing that you do and actually succeed at it, knowing that if they follow the same game plan, that's a humble way of thinking. That's how I think. And I think my body of work over the last decade

shows that. But I still get called consistently arrogant or cocky or this or that. And it's always by dumb fucks who don't understand what humble really means. Meek, meek means I don't have shit. I'm going to live like mother Teresa, blah, blah, blah. And by the way, you can have that shit. I don't want it. Just don't call me arrogant. Yeah.

Well, sometimes I am arrogant. Sometimes I am cocky. Sometimes I am confident. Sometimes I'm all those things. Sometimes I'm not humble. Sometimes you're not humble. But like we've throw people in these labels and try to keep them there. Like, bro, we fucking do different things, say different things, act a different way every single day. So like we have to be able to be human beings and our culture doesn't allow for that, right? So understanding the nature of humility is a very important to understanding how to walk the line between confidence and humility, all right? How I look at humility is it allows me to get better. I understand that if I were to plug someone else in my position and they follow the same exact actions, they would have the same results. And I believe that. I think that's true. And so my version of humble is not, I am less than everybody. I'm less, like I make myself

less to be like everybody else. My version of humble is, I know that you motherfuckers could do it too if you just got off your fucking lazy asses. Which is the problem. Most people won't do that. That is the problem. But that's still a humble way of thinking yeah you understand what i'm saying you're you're sitting on the flip side of the concept and that's the way i think when i look at everybody else i say what the fuck is wrong with y'all like get off your fucking ass and do this shit that's actually me being humble understanding that if you did the same things that i could do you could also. Okay. So how do you walk the line? In what way? You know what I'm saying? Like what, what, what way are we talking about? Because once

you have the, the full understanding of what humility really is, humility and confidence actually coexist, right? Cause to be confident, you have to be humble because if you're not humble, you can't learn the skills that you need to be confident. So they actually go together. That's not either or. They're the same thing. Well, they're essential parts of the same puzzle. A complete, confident human being.

So understanding that humility is required for confidence now makes it no longer a line to walk. Now it makes it just part of the play, right? So to be confident, you have to be humble. It has nothing to do with how much money you have. It has nothing to do with how many curse words you say. It has nothing to do with how many fucks you say or how many this or that or whatever. It has to do with fucking how you think of yourself, how you think of other people, and how you think the game is played.

And humility allows you to acquire the skills that give you the confidence to execute. Now, cocky, which is past confidence is basically you thinking that you are better and can do more than you're actually capable of. And so people have a heart. And this is also, again, this isn't like how someone sounds like there's very, there's a lot of cocky people that don't sound cocky. Like just because Andrew Tate sounds cocky does not make Andrew Tate cocky. Right. Just because like some of the shit I say sounds cocky. That doesn't make me cocky. In fact, I couldn't resume. I couldn't produce the result over and over and over and over and over again in my life, which I have.

It's very clear if I was cocky. Because cocky means I'm operating outside of my skill set and I think I'm better than I am. Well, if I'm continuing to produce the result, how can that be true? Right, right, right, right. So we need to really think about what labels and what things we throw on ourselves and other people. That's really the bottom line.

So understand, humility is a part of confidence. It is not something that you have either or. And without humility, you cannot be confident. And then cockiness and arrogance are things that's, and social media creates a lot of that, right? You have a lot of people with a lot of fucking followers who think because they have followers, they have skills. And they don't have fucking skills.

That's arrogance and cockiness, right? And if they have the skills, they produce a result, which they can't produce. You see what I'm saying? So like, dude, we just have to like adjust how we see these things to get them to work in our favor and stop thinking like, fuck, you know what? I bought my dream car. I'm not humble anymore, man. Fuck that. Enjoy that dream car. Drive that motherfucker right down to your ex-girlfriend's house and be like, Hey bitch, you know what i bought my dream car i'm not humble anymore man fuck that enjoy that dream car drive that motherfucker right down to your ex-girlfriend's house and be like hey bitch i told you so that's still fucking that's still fine yeah you see what i'm saying like these things like the way people understand them is not the way they are and do you think how much how much

how much do you think society has played into that and into uh the misinformation of these definitions man like i feel like you need a lot you need your own dictionary you know i'm saying like like bro that actually that's not a bad idea well i'm just you know it would be a conceptual dictionary yeah like because people understand the words and they're very quick to label people with them but they don't understand what they actually mean. What they actually mean in reality. Yeah. So we have to put these pieces of the puzzle together to make sure we comprehend them before we fucking, here's the danger of it, dude.

How many people, how many people out there, because they value the label of being humble, all right, choose to live a life that is far less than their dreams or their capabilities. Potentially. And they decide instead of going after what it is that they have the potential to be, they decide to sit on the sidelines of life and say, well, I don't need any of that. I'm humble. Do you really think you're doing anybody a service by acting that way? Because dude, your kids see that, your neighbors see see that your fucking significant others see that you are not humble, bro. You're a coward. You're afraid to be in the fucking game. That's what the fucking problem is. It's not,

Oh, I'm humble. I don't want to play. Oh, I'm humble because I don't need that shit. No, you're using humble as a fucking mask for your, your fucking terror of actually having to play on the field. And bro, that's what most people do, right? Like you, like I post a picture of my car. Oh, you know what? Getting big for your britches, bro. If you knew how big my britches were, you wouldn't say that. You know what I'm saying? They're fucking pretty big. All right. Like I'm being real. And that's not fucking cocky because it's true. Okay. So like, dude, we have to like,

there's nuance to all this shit, but like the basic understanding of humility and confidence being somehow opposed is not accurate. They are complimentary because without humility, you can't gain skills without skills. You can't be confident. Fuck man. Well,

I love, I love it, man. I love it. I love it. It it it's just man it's such a deep thing and it's like you know a lot of those same people who oh i'm humble like you know how many fucking lives you could change if you just got rid of that fucking dude and so like dude that's what they're not seeing like when we talk about on the show all the time personal excellence is ultimate rebellion it's an obligation personal excellence is ultimate rebellion. It's an obligation. Personal excellence is a fucking obligation. It's an obligation to yourself.

It's an obligation to your kids. It's an obligation to your significant other. It's an obligation to your community. It's your obligation to the fucking strangers that don't even know you. So that when they see your bad motherfucking ass walk by who's accomplished all this shit, they think, fuck, maybe I can accomplish some shit. That's the game. And so like you sitting on the sidelines saying oh, i'm humble

I don't need any of that shit, bro. You're just being a bitch. Let's be real. That's real shit. That's bitch shit You're scared to get in the game get in the fucking game. We all had to get in the game And fucking it's hard, but that's why people like us do what the fuck we do This is why I do the show This is why I spend millions of dollars a year to put the show on for fucking free. Because the guy that you think is cocky and fucking all this shit

actually just wants to help you get in the fucking game and win. I fucking love it, man. Did that make sense in terms of like, the one part I want to fucking pick up there is like,

people that are cocky and arrogant, you don't always hear it in the way they talk. This could be just something that- Use it for an internal thing. Hold on. These people who are arrogant, like, okay, for example, when you think about arrogance, what do you think of?

Like as a character, like who's arrogant? Aloud, obnoxious. Trump. Most people say Trump. Okay, fine, fine. We think Most people say Trump. Okay, fine. Fine. We think of the same kind of qualities, right? Because that's what's been labeled in society.

But when we really dissect what arrogance really means and what cockiness really means, it means that they think they're better than certain things. They think they're too than certain things they think they're too good for than than they actually are and if you're thinking you're humble and you don't want to get in the game and you're seeing that as a virtuous thing doesn't that automatically make you arrogant and cocky because you believe that you could succeed without even getting in the fucking game oh man oh man hold on now that's some 3d shit right there you see what i'm saying

so like dude you may you may have cocky people. Like most of the people who say, Oh fuck that guy. He's not humble. Most of those people are arrogant. They think they're doing way more than what they're actually doing in life. And they're actually failing their entire purpose of life because they want to be seen as humble as opposed to seeing as a bad motherfucker. Cause they're too afraid that if they get in the game, they can't accomplish that. Which what they're missing is, is by just being in the game, you're a bad motherfucker because they're too afraid that if they get in the game they can't accomplish that. Which, what they're missing is, is by just being in the game you're a bad motherfucker because most people won't do it. Fuck, man.

Yeah. That's some real shit, man. Tell us what you think in the comments. Does that definition align with you? Were you thinking of that definition wrong? And did that just change your mindset on it? It should. I fucking hope so. You don't gain anything in life by sitting on the sidelines, man. You're labeling everybody else's doing that definition wrong and did that just change your your mindset on it should i mean i fucking hope so yeah you don't gain anything in life by sitting on the sidelines man you label and

everybody else is doing it as something that that you know you you think you're virtuous bro you're not doing shit you're not fucking accomplishing shit you're not creating shit you're not contributing to shit you're sitting there being a fucking troll and then pretending to be virtuous oh i'm so humble like dude humble is a fucking overrated concept. It's overrated, overused, over-talked about. Most of the motherfucker, your problem ain't humble. Your problem is you're a coward and you need to get in the game. That's a fucking fact, man.

Guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, what does fun and celebration look like for you now versus what it looked like 20 years ago? Oh man, I am starting to have the ability to have fun and celebrate my wins, but refuse to do so because I'm afraid I'll fuck it up. I can relate to that. What we got here in,

I can relate to that. You know, I have a 24 hour rule for celebration. Um, I, I feel good about the wind for 24 hours. Then I stopped thinking about it and I continued on the path. And it's that simple. Most people spend their whole lives celebrating things they did in the past, which forces them to live in the past their entire

lives, right? Like if the thing that you're most proud of has already happened, what do you have to look forward to? Okay. So the reason this serves us, the 24 hour rule, and I did an episode on this. I don't know what number it is, but you can go dig through. I think it was on the MSCO project, but the 24 hour rule allows us to feel good, enjoy the wind, you know, celebrate a little bit and then keep moving and living in the future, living where I'm going. When you, when you celebrate too long, you get caught up in the story and you start telling the story over and over and over. And we see this all the time, right?

We see this, like you ask people, you know, what are you most proud of? Oh man, man. Back in 19 fucking 97, I scored a fucking touchdown on the MVP game, bro. It was fucking awesome. Like, bro. And that's their life. Your life is this one fucking thing that you did 30 fucking years ago, it is and and then you can't figure out why you're not happy well you're not happy because you're not living your life you're going back and looking at

something that's already happened that is never going to happen again maybe you should shift your perspective to the things that are happening now and enjoy that so it's a a perspective change. You know, when I used to celebrate when I was younger, I, the reason I know this is because I used to do this. So I'm not like trying to call names or call people out. Uh, but it's incredibly, uh, hindering of your progress because when you keep living in the past, it's hard to see what's coming down the road. And then you can't see the opportunities. And when you can't see the opportunities, you can't win the opportunities. You can't win the opportunities. You can't win. And then you're ended up in a real bad position. This is why when you go in any fucking random bar on Tuesday afternoon at fucking two 30,

there's a bunch of dudes sitting at the bar talking about shit that happened fucking 10 years ago, 20 years ago, your goal as a human being should be never be one of those motherfuckers. It should be, dude, I did this. It was cool. I did this. It was cool. I did this. It was cool.

Keep moving. Nick Saban wins national titles, bro. He goes up. Bill Belichick, too, wins fucking all these Super Bowls. Goes up. They say, hey, what do you think? Hey, we played a great game. We had a great season.

It was awesome. What do you think? What do you think about this? I'm not worried about that, man. I'm going to get up tomorrow and start working on next year. That's exactly what they say. Yeah. And people think that's like psychotic, but it's not, dude. It's actually the way you have to be to hold the edge of excellence at a high standard. So, and for a long time. So that's the, that's the

main difference. I used to hang on to wins. Now I don't, I don't really at all. Like you, there's been some pretty big wins I've had in the last fucking three or four years now i don't i don't really at all like you there's been some pretty big wins i've had in the last fucking three or four years i don't even fucking talk about like you know what i mean um like dude if i let me ask what's the dangers of that though well the dangers of that is that you can you cannot acknowledge your wins and then you end up bitter about that right you don't recognize the good things that are happening. So there's definitely a balance there. You should recognize your wins. And when I was younger also, like when I did the MSCO project, I said, you know, you should never celebrate your wins. Well, I was wrong about that because when I was never celebrating my wins ever or acknowledging them, I actually never felt like

I was doing any better and it made me feel less of myself. So it's important to celebrate, but keep it at a short amount of time and continue to move forward. Now, how did I celebrate? Well, when I was younger, I would fucking use alcohol and food. And that's what always my reward was alcohol and food. And as I've gotten older, I don't necessarily do any substances or use any chemicals or anything to celebrate. What I like to do for me, this is just how I like it. I like to sit with the people who actually created the win and like break it down and talk about it.

What got us here? And that's kind of how I celebrate, but it's also productive to the future, right? Because we're trying to replicate that. But like, I like that. I like sit, like there'll be like times where, you know, we'll have a big win in business. I'll sit with the guys who, who were

responsible for the win and we'll talk about it. We'll say, okay, that was cool. How we did this. We did that. We did this, you know, that was good. You know, fuck man, we did a good job. And that's kind of, it's just more of a conversation now and spending quality time with people that actually built the win. I think that's, and I think it's way cooler too that way. Um, you know, and that's just me. me there's there's no wrong way to do this like some people take a trip some people do this but like dude when that trip is over fucking back to work you know what i mean immediately yeah yeah i mean actually this because you know a lot of very successful high level achieving people do they all operate that way or i mean are there anybody

that that well you also have to remember bro like these people are high achieving they expect to win like i fucking expect to win yeah like anything less than a win i'm pissed like so like when the result comes of the win it's like yeah okay that's why i thought what happened i want to would you say that most people celebrate too long is because they were not expecting the win to begin with well i think the reason most people don't win is because they don't expect to win i think that's i think you have to expect to win that has to be the result that you're expecting yeah and you know in the beginning it's hard because you don't have any wins right but as you become more successful like like real talk do you like you guys do you think that i don't expect to win no like fucking i don't just expect to win i expect

to be the fucking best like the best best ever. Yeah, no doubt. So like, and you know, and I know I'm not, okay? But that's the humility part, right? Like that's what I- That's how it works, guys. Yeah. I expect to win. I know I'm pretty good, but I also know I'm not that good.

There's a lot of motherfuckers out there who have done a lot more than me, and I'm friends with a lot of those guys. You know what I mean? Well, not a lot of them, but there's a few. And those are the people I try to be around. I try to be friends with people who are further down than me and that know more than me. And, you know, I think everything's a it's like a dance, bro. There's no like solid way to celebrate or navigate this or even go back to the second

question with humility. Like this is like a dance. Like nobody's 100 percent humble. Nobody's is like a dance. Like nobody's a hundred percent humble. Nobody's a hundred percent cocky. We have moments. And then those moments we get judged on by the entire internet and they try to label you these things and it's fucking garbage. And then you have these, these influencers who try to like tell everybody how humble

they are. And in reality, if you look at them, they're not very humble because every single fucking thing that they do, they're either copying from someone else or they're in, they're incapable of learning. And the reason they're incapable of learning. And the reason they have to copy from someone else is because they think they're the shit already. And they're not able to fucking come up with their own shit. So like, dude, like you, you ain't fooling anybody. Stop, stop, like stop using humble as an attack on people. It makes you look weak as fuck, you know, but you know, that's kind of my take on it. Yeah. I love it, man. I love it. It's a 24 hour celebration. I think that's a good rule, man. And

I think that's, that's a rule that I picked up from those guys. I mentioned, you know, Nick Saban, arguably the best coach ever in college football or one of them. Same with Belichick, one of the best coaches ever in pro football. Hard to deny those things. Those men celebrate. That's how I like to look at things, bro. Like, you know, when I when I try to learn, I try to say, OK, those guys know a little bit more about winning than I fucking know.

And you know what I do? I say when I when I would talk to those guys, I'm like, hey, I don't know shit, bro. You tell me, you know what I'm saying? I would talk to those guys i'm like hey, I don't know shit, bro You tell me You know i'm saying I fucking put my humble hat on real fucking quick and that's that's the dance. It's a dance. It's not a It's not a i'm a this i'm it's not a character trait. It's not a thing. You are it's not an attribute. It's a It's a fucking dance. You're you're humble when appropriate you're confident when appropriate But you need humility to actually be truly confident. Sometimes you have to be cocky and you have to believe that you can do things

that you can't actually do or haven't done before. That's necessary. Like these are things that you have to have. So like fucking think about it, dude, and stop labeling people this bullshit. And then when people start to label themselves as, oh, I'm humble, blah, blah, blah, look at them for what they are.

They're weak, they're scared, and they're afraid to get in the game. Fucking love that, man. Guys, Andy, that was three. You better go pay the fee on that one. Yeah. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze.

Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove. Counted millions in a cold. Bad bitch, booted slow. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold, doesn't a no Headshot, case closed