REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 517. Q&AF: Being Hard On Yourself, Organizing Your Goals & Becoming A Great Intrapreneur

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to break free from society's idea that being hard on yourself is unhealthy, what's the best way to go about setting and tracking your goals daily, and the skills you should focus on to become a great intrapreneur within an organization.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today, we have Q&A app, that's where you submit the Q's and we give you the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys. Today, we have Q&A app. That's where you submit the Qs and we give you the answers. All right? You can submit those questions a couple different ways. First way is, guys, you can email your questions into askandy at andyfrasella.com.

Second way is, now that we're on YouTube, which has been a lot of fun so far, if you go on YouTube and you click subscribe and you go down in the comments on the Q&A episodes and drop your question in the comments, we'll pick some from there as well to answer live on the show. We may actually be starting a new call-in type thing here soon, but we're trying to figure that out. So that might be a little, we might do a live Q&A starting to come up.

And I can't wait for you motherfuckers to try to stump me and I can roast you live on the fucking internet right in front of everybody. Anyway, if this is your first time listening, welcome. All right. This is Real AF and it's not just a Q&A show. We have multiple shows within the show. We have Q&AF, which is what you're going to hear today. We have CTI, that stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put up topics on the screen. We talk about them. We speculate on what might be true, what may not be true, and how we can all, as individuals and collectively, work to solve some of the problems going on in the world.

The next segment that we do is called Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me just giving you a message that I think needs to be heard. And then we have Full Length. Full Length is what you see typically on most other podcasts where a bunch of people sit in a room and have a conversation. And then sometimes we have 75 hard verses. I am the creator of the Live Hard program. A lot of you guys know it as 75 hard. And we bring people on who have accomplished great things, changed their lives.

And we interview them. We talk about how you could do that too. And if you want to be on one of those shows, just send us your story, man. You can email it into 75hardatandyforsella.com and we're going to pick you to possibly be on the show. Send us an in-depth story of what this program has done for you, maybe even a video too, and let us hear from you. Get you right in here with us. So we do have a fee for the show. The fee is not monetary. You don't have to pay me. I do appreciate you guys when you support my companies and things that I have going on very much, but it's not required. And you don't have to listen to me talk about ads for stuff that I don't actually believe in or use on this show. So I don't run ads on the show. And I ask in exchange for the value that I deliver and DJ delivers and the team here delivers to help you be better, to help you learn what's going on. We ask very simply that you share the

show. A lot of times you guys will say, oh, Andy, everybody should be listening to the show. Yeah, I agree, man. That's why I do it. But I need you guys to share the show for that to happen. So pay the fee. That's what I mean when I say pay the fee so what's up don't be hoes yeah yeah don't be a hoe what's going on brother i got some good ones this is actually an interesting one because we got a little extra little special sauce on this one oh do we yeah we got a little little extra little extra but i do got some good ones for you good there are some good ones so let's let's get right into it andy uh andy guys question number. Andy, what's your opinion on people who are overly hard on themselves, perfectionistic, competitive, obsessive, compulsive, et cetera? I feel like I'm

all those things, but I've been holding back for a long time thinking that those things were unhealthy. But I feel like I have to be those things in order to be great. It's very conflicting. I want to be the best version of myself and enjoy the process doing it, but I don't know how. What should I do? Well, first of all, you should evaluate who is telling you these things are bad and who is telling you these things are unhealthy. And I bet if you evaluate their life and their existence and what they've created, you're going to find out that it's not anything like what you're trying to build. That's the first thing. So realize that most people say that being competitive is unhealthy. Most people say that being driven is unhealthy. Most people say that being obsessed with building

something is unhealthy. Most people say that doing anything outside, being a lazy piece of fucking shit is unhealthy. When in reality, being a lazy piece of fucking shit is most unhealthy thing that you could ever fucking do. Okay. So let's consider the source. When we talk about who tells us these things and what have they actually achieved and have they achieved anything that represents something that resembles what we want to achieve. And the answer is always no. Okay. So understand that

first of all, and let me explain to you the reality. There are a ton of people out there right now who are so involved and so sucked into victim culture and this vibe out culture, right? Oh, here's what I'm going to do on my Saturday. You know, what I do is I mix up a little granola and then I go outside and I put my nuts on the suntan table so that I can get some sun on my testicles. And then I go do a cold plunge. And then after that, I hang out with my friends and we vibe out. And then after that, you know, I might go and have a nice little walk and hold hands and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Y'all know the videos I'm talking about too. Every motherfucking one of you knows. Okay. There's this cultural movement of vibing out. All right. That, you know, people

try to explain and justify why it is they're not working, why it is they're not hustling, why it is they're not driven, why it is they're not ambitious, why it is they're not hustling, why it is they're not driven, why it is they're not ambitious, why it is they're not doing anything. The real answer is they're not capable of doing it. They don't have what the fuck it takes. So they craft this message about how unhealthy it is and how destructive it is and how it's immoral and materialistic and greedy and all these negative things because it's something that they're not capable of following through with. All right. So you have to understand that most people's message is more of a justification of their own actions than actual message that's meant to help you. All right. That's the first thing that you need to understand. The second thing that you need

to understand, and this is coming from someone who's actually built a few things in life. I've done a few things. All right. The list is pretty fucking long and I'm still pretty fucking young and I'm still going to triple or quadruple that motherfucking list. You can bet on that shit. All right.

So these things that you're talking about, ambition, drive, commitment, being obsessed. Okay. It's reasonable to be obsessed with your goals for certain periods of time in your life. That's a reasonable thing. Not only is it reasonable, if you actually want to be great, it's actually required. It's a requirement. Being obsessed, being driven, being ambitious, being someone who works extremely hard, who will not be pulled off the motherfucking path is a requirement of building something great and you're surrounded with people who are not

committed to building anything great and they're telling you all this shit is unhealthy you have to be smart enough to let that filter through and not mean anything to you and continue on your path it's not for everybody success isn't for everybody winning's not for everybody. Success isn't for everybody. Winning's not for everybody. Building something is not for everybody. In fact, it's for a very small percentage of the population. And if we spend our entire lives trying to get all of these people to approve of what we're doing, we won't ever achieve anything because they're not even on the same path as us. So you have to recognize that when you're on this path of becoming great at whatever it is, whether it just be great as a human or great as a servant, maybe you're trying to build a church,

maybe you're trying to build the biggest motherfucking company that ever existed. The goal is irrelevant. It's what's required to achieve this greatness that is the same. All right. And all of these things that victim culture right now, the vibe out culture, victim culture that society seems to be obsessed with, all of those things keep you from building those things, which actually lends itself to a little tinfoil hat as to why is that the narrative? Why is the narrative? Calm down Take it easy. Vibe out. Be happy. Live in the moment.

You work too hard. Take it easy. That's unhealthy. Why is that the movement? Why is the movement? I have, you know, trauma. Motherfucker, trauma used to be like you get your arm fucking cut off. That's trauma.

Right? Trauma used to be getting stabbed in the fucking face. All right. Trauma is not somebody said something mean to you. Trauma is not, you know, your stepdad was an asshole to you, bro. Listen, we've all had assholes in our life. We've all had fucking things happen to us. That's called life.

Trauma is, you know, Derek, why to get his fucking leg shot off and fucking Iraq. Okay. That's trauma. Trauma is Dakota Meyer going into a village where there's hundreds of people that he's a part of that are dead by himself and pulling out his fucking bros. We've all been killed. That's fucking trauma, motherfucker. Trauma is not somebody was mean to me or somebody said something aggressive to me or somebody said something that I didn't like. We've got to fucking soft. All right. It's a big fucking problem in society. It's victim culture.

It's what's rewarded online. It's what we see. You know, dude, go look at look at reels of people telling you what it takes to actually win. And they have one who are telling you what it takes to actually win. And they have one who are telling you, this is what it fucking takes. And they go look at reels of people saying, this is how I lit my candle to get over my trauma. Right, right, right. That's the shit that's people are fucking, you know, I want to be vulnerable with you guys. One time I was in a toxic relationship. They don't talk about all the

shit they did in the relationship. They don't talk about the mental abuse they did in the relationship. They don't talk about them being a fucking psychotic fucking partner. Do they? No. Right. So, so we have all this fucking bullshit that is called life that has now been built into victim culture and called trauma, which now you're dealing with everybody in your circle who is super fucking soft. And if you try to live any life outside of sitting on the fucking couch and eating fucking Doritos and consuming propaganda and being sucked into your phone, if you try to do anything outside the norm, bro, it's unhealthy. That's unhealthy. You're so, you're so obsessed. It's unhealthy. Well, guess what? With outside the norm, bro, it's unhealthy. That's unhealthy. You're so obsessed, it's unhealthy.

Well, guess what? With all the money I make, I'll buy myself some therapy. All right? Like, what the fuck? Okay? Like, dude, this shit that you're being told is unhealthy. A lot of you guys are mistakenly falling into this victim culture, bro. You have to be very aware of it.

You're falling into the vibe out culture, the be happy now culture. You're not understanding, bro, that in 10 years, you're going to wish that you had this time back and you had committed your youth to actually building something, a foundation that you could stand on for the rest of your life. What are you going to do when you're 40? What are you going to do when you're 50? What are you going to do when you're 60? What are you going to do when you're 70? Because I can tell you what I'm going to do. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to do when you're 50? What are you going to do when you're 60? What are you going to do when you're 70? Because I can tell you what I'm going to do Guess what I'm going to do

I'm going to still be doing the same shit I'm doing now I've learned that fulfillment actually comes from the pursuit And the commitment to becoming the best possible version of you Okay Your ultimate fulfillment is not you eating fucking bonbons With your homie on the fucking beach watching the sunset. That's not going to fulfill you, bro. You know what's going to fulfill you is committing yourself to becoming the best version of yourself

and following through on that day in and day out so that you can look backwards in the rearview mirror with that perspective and say, motherfucker, I might not be where I want to be, but I gave it my all. And that brings you peace and that brings you fulfillment and that brings you the lack of regret, which is what we're all looking for. And a lot of you guys have gotten so far sucked into this soft ass, bitch ass culture that promotes nothing but mediocrity in the longterm that you will, you are going to live the entire rest of your life with regret. All right. So all of these things they're telling you that are unhealthy are actually required to build what it is that we all think of when we think of creating

greatness. Those are requirements. And anybody who tells you fucking different hasn't built anything or is profiting from telling you different. I guarantee you that. I love that. Can I follow up with this real quick, Andy? When does this cross over, this pursuit of greatness, this obsessive desire and drive to win, for who does this crossover and when does this crossover to become an obligation? I think we all have an obligation to live to our highest standard. I think when we look around at the world and we look at what's going on and we see people suffering and we see people struggling and we see people deciding to opt out right because that's that's a whole nother thing like a lot of you a

lot of these people that are telling you this shit is unhealthy they've opted out of their own dreams bro they've long ago quit they had dreams too yes and they've long ago decided that they weren't going to achieve them they gave up okay and so now they're going to convince you, like I said a minute ago, that they're giving up is some sort of higher virtue than you still pursuing. And this is what we're dealing with. We're dealing with lots of insecurity. We're dealing with lots of people who are fighting their own internal regret, their own internal inability to execute their own internal, you know, FOMO of not being able to achieve their dreams. And they're trying to push that on you. So they're not alone. So they don't, you don't go build your shit and they're sitting there by themselves, which is what is going to

happen. All right. So look, man, culturally we're fucked and you have to change the culture by changing yourself. So when does it become an obligation? It becomes an obligation the minute you hear these fucking words. The minute you say like, bro, fuck, you know what? My brother, my sister, my dad, my mom, my uncle, my fucking neighbors, the people at work, they're all watching me all the time. And I'm over here like living this bullshit life. That's not helping them. All right. So when you start to live a fucking good life and you

start to become what it is that you're supposed to become, other people start to see, hey, I might be able to do that too. And when they start to see that, they change. And this is actually what fixes the world. Like you guys, this is why I say it. Personal excellence is ultimate rebellion because it spreads. It's a ripple effect. It's something that people witness and then they want to do themselves. And that's on you. And that's on us as individuals to do in our own little circles over here, over here, over here, over here, over here, wherever the fuck you may be, wherever I may be, because all those little ripple effects go out and create a better world. And so if we really want to fix what's going on in the world and we really care about what's

going on in the world, getting on the internet and bitching about Donald Trump or bitching about Joe Biden ain't going to fucking fix it, bro. You know, what's going to fix it. You deciding that you have an obligation to become the best version of yourself and then doing that. And then other people witnessing that and then deciding, well, I can do the same thing. And then them getting better. And then that ripple effect repeats from their epicenter. See what I'm saying? This is how the world fixes itself, dude. But no, everybody wants to cry. Everybody wants to bitch. Everybody wants to get the views and the downloads and the traffic and the fame. Nobody actually wants to change themselves, which is what's going to change the world. Donald Trump ain't fixing the fucking world, bro. Joe Biden certainly ain't fucking fixing it. And any of these other fuckers in between ain't going

to fix it. Elect me president, bro. I'm still not these other fuckers in between ain't going to fix it. Elect me president, bro. I'm still not going to fix your life. You're going to fix your life. And because you fixed your life, other people around you will fix theirs. And if we want a culture and a society that lives at a high standard, that produces the best, that is truly a representative of what this country is supposed to be, the pursuit of opportunity and happiness and fulfillment and freedom.

You have to live that and you have to embody that and you have to be that. And without that, your words don't mean fucking anything. I love it, man. Guys, that was question number one. Question number two, let's move into talking more about these goals that I guess young people need to have. The question is, Andy, question number two. Andy, I'm 17 years old and I have high ambitions and goals. My question is, how do you organize your goals? Are you writing them in the notebook, doing something else that you found effective? And when you have these goals in front of you, how do you go about

being able to track them each day to make sure you're doing the right things to get closer to? Well, look, it takes a little bit of imagination and it's not a perfect science. So the first thing that I do is I decide where I want to be. All right. Most people don't ever take the time to decide where they want to be in life. They don't think about it. They think more about what they're going to do on Friday night than what they think about they're going to do for their whole life. So you have to take some time to decide where it is you're going to go. And that vision of where you're going to go should be as big as you can possibly comprehend because you're actually way more capable than you realize you are right now. And whatever vision you come up with at first, you're probably going to achieve at a relatively

short amount of time, meaning you could achieve that in less than 10 years. I mean that as a short time. Okay. I don't mean six months. I don't mean by the weekend. Two weeks. Right. I mean a short amount of time over the scale of your life.

Okay. So your big vision now that you take on now is probably going to be achieved pretty quick. Like my first big vision that I had was I was flying on private jets and driving a Lamborghini. And from the time I started visualizing that and working towards that goal, so the time I achieved it was like four years. Right. So like that, and then I had to expand the vision. Okay. But here's what you do. So make the vision as big as possible and then start breaking the steps backwards of how you would achieve that. Okay. What do I need to do to achieve that? Where do I need to be here? How do I need to build this

and work backwards from that vision to where you are now? And then start taking what I give you for free, which is the power list. It's episode 16 in this feed. Go fucking listen to it and use the power list as your day-to-day checklist on how far you are moving towards your day-to-day wins. Okay. Because to get the big goal, you've got to make the steps happen between where you are and there. And then to make those steps happen, you have to execute on a day-by-day-by-day basis. And it's that simple. So it's breaking it down. It's breaking down the big steps, the big phases, then breaking it down to daily actions,

and then executing on those particular actions. Now, a lot of people get confused and they, you know, they don't really understand what the powerless is about. And they write stuff in there, like, you know, my powerless five things to do. And they write like, you know, get better at, you know, weightlifting or do a better job of reading to my kids. That's not what the fuck I'm talking about a lot of you guys do not know how to fucking listen okay I'm giving you the tool in episode 16 that I have used to build multiple companies not one company multiple very successful companies okay we're not talking about companies that are worth 10 million dollars we're talking about companies that are worth billions of dollars all

right this is the exact fucking system. I use Exactly the system and I give it to you for fucking free and somehow you guys don't fucking do it, right? Because I see you post it Some of you guys post it on the internet And you put the wrong shit in there like bro. I can't help you if you're not willing to help yourself So go listen to episode 16 Understand understand how that tool works, use it perfectly. And then we will have a situation where you can learn how to start winning the day. And if you win enough days, you win the week. If you win enough weeks, you win the month. If you win enough months, you win the year. And if

you win enough years, you win the life. And it's that years you win the life and it's that simple all right there's no magic outside of that this is why when you follow me on Instagram you see me every single day doing certain things every single day over and over and over and over again trust me I could come up with more creative content to post for you guys I post that shit to prove a point the point is this it's the little monotonous, boring shit that builds the life that you're looking for. All right? And you have to do this every single day. Most people cannot do the monotonous shit day in and day out, which is why they can't succeed. They'll do it for 10 days. They'll do it for two weeks. They'll do it for 90 days, but they won't do it for their life. And doing it for life is what it takes to build this vision

that you have for yourself into a real thing. So I give you the tools, go use them. And if you use them correct, I truly believe it's impossible to lose. I believe it's impossible, impossible to fucking lose. I believe that if you go listen to Win the Day, episode 16, and you follow that system exactly as it's laid out, exactly as I tell you to, where you're writing critical tasks, you're executing critical tasks, no more than five, okay? And you're winning every single day.

And after 21 days, if you execute the same critical tasks, after 21 days, you remove that critical task and replace it with a new one while continuing to do the one that you were doing. That doesn't mean you, like, just go listen to the episode, follow it exactly, and it will be impossible for you to fucking lose. I love that.

Dude, one thing that I realized when I first got with you is like how small my goals actually were to begin with. And I think most people fall into that trap, right? Like in high school, I remember the acronym that's SMART, make SMART goals, right? You know, SMART, what is it? Measurable, attainable, like all that. But like you realize, like you said, like, I mean. Well, who teaches that?

Hold on, hold on. The system. Hold on. Let's break this down. Who teaches you that? Hold on. Hold on. The system. Hold on. Let's break this down. Who teaches you that? Same motherfucker. Hold on. Who made the poster that said small, measurable, attainable goals?

Who made that poster? Someone didn't achieve shit. That's why they're making fucking posters. All right. Okay. You got to start listening to the right people. You got to start listening to people who actually built the shit that you want to build Or have built significant things

And could translate the methods that they use to build them To whatever it is you're trying to build I am one of those people Okay If you listen to what I say I can promise you you're going to get a lot further Than what the fucking poster guy told you to do Alright

So pay attention to who you're learning from Pay attention to what people are saying. Right now, we got every motherfucker on the internet posturing themselves as an actual successful person. They got a little microphone and they're talking and they got some good shit to say. They probably heard me say it first. All right. And they sound credible. Okay. And they might be on that one message, but the importance of actually vetting who it is you're listening to cannot be overstated because a lot of these people can hear a buzz clip or hear a thing and repeat it or spin it in their own way. But if they've not actually used

that to build real things, then how do you know the rest of their clips are actually true? Right? We have a lot of people out there that say small attainable goals, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you look at their life and their fucking life sucks. And then you say, well, why does your life look so shitty? And then they say, well, I choose to live a modest life. You're full of shit, bro. You're not successful. You're barely making it. You're scraping by on the internet, dude. Like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And there's a 97% of those people to the 3% of actual credible people that are doing real shit that can teach you real shit from their experience. Okay. So I'm not saying this to dog anybody out. I'm saying this for your benefit. You need to vet who it is you're

fucking listening to and see what they've actually done because if you just listen to some dude you have no idea whether or not that information is correct or incorrect you know like i like dude i saw this fucking just because it looks good i saw this fucking has-been celebrity dude on a fucking internet last night and he's talking about i own only two cars and i got you know this old ass fucking beater car and blah blah blah like it's some sort of virtuous shit and all i wanted to do is like go in the video live and be like yeah you own that old beater bro because you haven't been relevant 30 fucking years right like dude i'm so tired of all these people making excuses about why they choose to live these shitty fucking lives, but somehow they're enlightened and virtuous and know everything more than everybody else.

There's no virtue in living below what it is you're supposed to live. You don't have to have a hundred cars. You don't have to have a Lamborghini. You don't have to have a big house, but these motherfuckers sell you their fucking lack of success is virtue and y'all fucking buy it. Okay. I don't want to learn from some fucking theoretical fucking has been. I want to learn from someone who's kicking ass and you should too. And it's very important to your future that you listen to the right people. I love it, man.

Andy, question number three. Andy, I just realized that college isn't for me. I don't really have any inspirations to become an entrepreneur, but I know that I want to contribute to something bigger than myself. What are three skills that I should be focusing on and developing to become an asset to a company or mission as I haven't really been in the workforce before this? That's a good question. And it shows good awareness too. You know, I like the fact that they say, you know, I'm not really sure entrepreneurship's for me because now, right now that's the opposite of the trend. Everybody thinks they're a fucking entrepreneur.

Everybody pretends to be an entrepreneur and very few people actually are entrepreneurs. And so I admire the awareness that this person has, that they're trying to become a good entrepreneur and a contributing member to a company because that's the path of success for most of you listening. Most of you listening are going to become an amazing contributing entrepreneur and you're going to make a fuck ton of money and have a fuckload of fun working inside an organization that you helped build. That's going to be most of your path. And by the way, much easier path, much easier path. You don't have to carry the weight of everything on your fucking shoulders, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It's a completely different

fucking game. And it's just a lot easier to win. So I admire that. Three skills that will help you to become an amazing entrepreneur the first one none of you are going to be shocked is mental toughness all right the biggest problem that most people have is that they do not lack the discipline to follow through on the plan that they set for themselves all. 99.9% of failures in life come from your inability to adhere to what you say you're going to do. All right. So we must fix that. If you can fix that, if you can fix the problem with yourself that you cannot follow the plan that you lay out for yourself and actually transform yourself into someone who can execute the plan, not only on the days they feel like it, but especially good on the days they don't feel like it.

That makes you an unstoppable force. There's nothing that can stop you. All right. So mental toughness, which encompasses the qualities of many, many different things. One, discipline. Okay. Two, grit, fortitude, belief, self-esteem, confidence, the ability to endure pain, the ability to suffer, the ability to do things when you don't feel like doing them. These things all make up what I call mental toughness, okay? And this is the fucking main driving skill set for any successful person simply because it allows them to adhere to a game plan

that they set out for themselves. Most people cannot win, not because they don't have the skills, not because they don't have the brainpower, not because they're not one of the chosen few lucky ones, but because they cannot adhere. People are fat not because they don't know what to do. It's because they can't adhere to the program. People are poor, not because they don't know what to do, but because they can't do it for years and years and years and years on end. So you have to fix that problem first. Okay. And that one problem, that one skillset will fix fucking almost everything in your life, literally everything. So commit to becoming a mentally tough person. Again, it's another thing I give away. Guess what? For free. Okay.

And you go listen to episode 208. You can go to 75hard.com. It's a free program. Go fucking do it and do the whole Live Hard program, which starts at 75 hard. Then it has phase one, two, and three. and it lasts for a year. It's not a year straight. It's multiple phases broken up through the year. It accounts for less than half of your year. And if you do that for one year, you will become someone who is so much better than literally everyone else that you fucking know at what I'm talking about, which is the adherence of following through. Okay. And being resilient, being gritty, being tough, being confident, it will change everything in your life for one year. Okay. So that's the first thing I would do. The second thing that I would do,

the second skillset that I would pour myself into if I were going to become a high earning entrepreneur is sales. All right. And the reason why sales, because sales people who can sell get paid the most money. It's a special skill set that most people can't do. All right. And even if you're not going to be a professional salesperson, and let's say you're going to be a graphic designer, or let's say you're going to be a videographer, or let's say you're going to help make content, or let's say you're going to be a videographer, or let's say you're going to help make content, or let's say you're going to do something else in the company. It all comes down to sales. So you must understand the sales process for you to be effective at what you do. And you're probably thinking, well, if I'm a graphic designer, well, why the fuck do I need to know about sales? Because dumb ass, uh, your graphic designs are going to contribute to us selling shit. All right. So like, if you can't translate the sales process in your mind to the

graphic or the video or the content that you create, you are literally fucking worthless. All right. So learning how to sell massive skillset, the best way to learn how to sell is to go get a retail job, Go get a fucking retail job and work the floor of a retail job for six, seven months, maybe a year. You could still do other things, make it a part-time job. Okay. I learned at least 90% of what I share with you guys working in my retail company, Supplement Superstores, which I started in 1999 with $12,000. Okay. You learn about people. You learn how to communicate with people. You learn how to deal with people. You learn how to deal with positive people, negative people, pissed off people.

You learn everything you need to fucking need to know about sales in real life practical application by working retail. It's a fucking amazing thing. Most people don't like retail and that's why most people never learn how to sell properly. Okay. Now there's lots of, there's lots of programs on how to sell. There's lots of cool catchphrases. There's lots of techniques. There's lots of copywriting programs and courses that teach you how to sell on e-com and all this shit, all valuable stuff. Okay. But the basis of learning how to sell is in person because selling is always person to person, whether you think it is or not, you're getting inside that

motherfucker's head and figuring out what it's going to take for them to fucking buy your shit. And that's going to take you standing in front of them and listening to them and hearing what they have to say over and over and over and over and over and over and over until you fucking heard it all, all of it. Okay. So that's the second thing, sales. Okay. Third thing, how to manage a team. All right. There's lots of books on this, but again, this is something that you have to practice. Okay. And by the way, public speaking is part of that, of how to manage a team. So that's, that's something that's going to be more difficult for you to learn because in the beginning, nobody's going to put you in charge of a team, right? Right.

So there's this thing called peer leadership, all right, where you have to take charge and make the team your team, even though you're not awarded the team, all right? This means you have to become a peer leader. All right That means you have to perform a high level you have to live at a high standard You have to do all the right shit and you have to understand that people will do what you do Not what you tell them to do. All right So working on those three skills And by the way, there's tons there's tons of books on how to lead a team a lot of really good ones

One of my favorite books Uh is the five dysfunctions of a team I can summarize of really good ones. One of my favorite books is the five dysfunctions of a team. I can summarize it for you right now. It's very simple. Everybody wants to be heard, but they want the best decision made for them. And they don't want you to just dictate. They want to be heard. They want to contribute their ideas. They want to be a part of the fucking team. And if you don't allow them to be part of the team, you won't have a good team. All right. The book explains how to do that perfectly step Step by step by step by telling good stories about it. I'd read it if you want to learn how to manage teams.

There's plenty of books about coaching. Bill Belichick, Nick Saban. These guys, they understand how to run fucking teams. Your business guru selling $997 course that you never fucking heard of. Probably the wrong guy to learn about for a fucking team. All right. Go study the greats. Go study the John Woodens. Go study the Vince

Lombardi's. Go study the greatest coaches, the Nick Saban's, the Bill Belichick's. These guys will show you how to run a team. Okay. So we have mental toughness, sales, and the management of a team. Those three things will make you as much or as little of money as you decide to execute on. That's it. Those are the three fucking core skills that if you want to win, you must understand. I love that, man. I fucking love that. Well, we got a little bit of time left.

Let's get some special sauce in there. Is that three? That was three. Okay. That was three. Special sauce question, guys. Andy, question number four. Andy, when speaking of personal excellence and practicing it,

if you see a friend, a close friend, or a family member not living up to their best, do you intervene? And if so, how? You tell me. Why don't you tell me if I intervene? Tell them. You absolutely intervene. Yeah, I fucking do.

Yeah, it's obligation. You know why I do that? Because I fucking love the people around me. And I tell them the truth. And i fucking do yeah it's obligation you know you know why i do that because i fucking love the people around me and i tell them the truth and it ain't always fun i gotta have uncomfortable conversations almost every single day and people don't like it there's a lot of days that people leave and they're like man fuck him fuck that guy but eventually when they calm the fuck down they realize bro i'm trying to fucking win i'm trying to win to help you i'm trying to help you win So, uh, if you're not living to your standard and you're around me and my vicinity, like this is why most people can't handle me like around being around me, bro, because it hurts their feelings too much. You know, like I expect excellence if you're

going to be in my circle. And if you don't deliver that, I'm not going to, you're not going to be in my circle. It's very simple. And, um, it's, you know, it's, I, I wasn't always that way. Uh, and you know, why I think people struggle with this. I think people struggle with it because they don't live it themselves. I think most people, most people see other people doing things and it would be easier for them to intervene. And they don't realize like, you're not even living the shit that you want this person to live. Right. And this goes for bosses or leaders or managers or big brothers or fucking friends or whatever, you know, just because you're a little bit less fat than the other guy, it doesn't mean you're still not a fucking fat ass, bro. You know, just because you got a little bit more money than that guy doesn't

mean you're living at your highest potential. So the first thing you've got to do, if you really want to, if you really care about the people around you is you have to live your high standard. You have to live it, dude. You have to live it, bro. There's no way around it. If I didn't live the standard that I live, none of, none of you would listen to me. None of you listening to the show right now would even listen. You wouldn't listen. Okay. And your friends and family, they're not going to listen to me. None of you listening to the show right now would even listen. You wouldn't listen. Okay. And your friends and family, they're not going to listen to you unless you're living it. It's just the way it is.

So yeah, man, I do intervene and I intervene because I understand that true kindness and true love is telling people the truth about what's going on. And you have to be willing to like ruffle feathers and be disliked for a little bit for that to happen and sometimes people don't like you and they don't like you forever but really that's just a quicker weeding out process you know like there's a lot of people walking around say fuck andy's andy for sale is a fucking dick it's not that i'm a dick bro i just have high standards and you didn't meet him and now you think i'm a jerk about fucking holding you to a standard right so it's like is it was there a realization that you had to come to to understand that like

you know not everybody in the world is going to be capable of rowing the boat with you some people are just going to be fucking anchors and that's what it is and i i think that's a really good point you bring up bro because i think a lot of times you know we want all our friends and all our family and everybody to come with us because it sounds cool. Right. But it's just not reality, man. And if you wait around for all the people to come with you, you're never going to get where you want to go yourself because you're always going to be rowing the boat the hardest. And these motherfuckers are going to be rowing at different paces. You're going to go in circles because that's what happens.

You got left hand side of the boat rowing at fucking one mile an hour. You got the right hand rowing at three. And it doesn't matter which way I tell the boat to go. The boat's going to go in a fucking circle. Okay. So if you, if you have your friends in the boat and they're, they're the ones rowing at one and you got your A players over here and they're rowing at three, you still can't get anywhere because the ones are fucking up for everybody. And so you have to realize that it's not just about your life. It's about the other people who are the A players that are along the ride with you that these people are holding back and you have to be willing to cut them off the roster.

And that's just, you know, I know you want the best for those people. I'm like, bro, I have a lot of people in my life over the years who I really wanted the best for. And at the time, you know, they weren't on the same vibe. And by the way, there was it went the opposite way too, bro. Remember, I was a fat fucking lazy piece of shit for a long time. There was a lot of people who tried to get me to wake the fuck up that I hated. And then, you know, but I wasn't ready to do it.

And so, you know, there's timing involved in all of these things. But I truly believe that we do have a responsibility to hold the people that we care about most to a higher standard after we're holding ourselves to the highest possible standard so the first step is take care of your own shit the second step and assess it honestly dude like you're like this person saying uh you know oh i family members isn't that what they said uh yeah if you see a friend or family member not living up yeah yeah okay well what standard are you living dude come come in here and take your clothes off and let's have a fucking talk yeah you know keep your underwear on bro you know please keep your underwear yeah i'm just saying uh but we'll have a talk about standards yeah okay let me look at your bank account we'll have

a talk about standards let's go look inside your car let's go let's go look at it let's go look at your house let's look at everything we'll have a talk about standards and then we'll decide whether or not you actually live in the highest standard possible. That's going to allow those people to also hear what you're trying to say, because here's the thing, bro. I actually posted about this this morning. If you are not living your highest standard and you're talking to someone about higher standards, how do they believe that it's even possible if you're not even living? So you have to show them before they can believe it. All right. That's why it's important for you to do all the work that you need to do on you so that they can see that you went from the same as

them to this new thing. And then when they start recognizing that you went to this greater higher better version of yourself guess what they start thinking dude i might be able to do that how'd you do that okay and now you have an opening to actually influence them the proper way yeah you see what i'm saying because i know if andy did it bro yeah bro yeah you know what i'm saying that's beautiful it's the way it is, dude. So we have to inspire people by our own actions and results. And something I've been saying a lot lately, which is the fucking truth, bro, is no one is going to give a fuck about your words until your actions and your results are undeniable.

The words come after the results, not before the results. And if you try to put them before the results, nobody's going to listen. So you have to understand this. Your words are only relevant if your actions and your results are aligned with the words that you speak. Then people will listen. Without the actions and results part, the edifying part of the puzzle, you cannot be credible. People will not listen to you. This is why so many of you try to make so much content and it never fucking goes. You know why? Because you're putting the cart before the motherfucking horse. You're putting the hope for results in front of the actual grind work, right? We see this all the time, dude. Like how many, like, dude, and this is no

shade to you guys. Okay. I appreciate you guys trying real hard. I really do. But you see these dudes, they're making these podcast sets, right? And they're sitting, they don't even have a real podcast and they're sitting in front of this thing and they're trying to make this content. And they want all these people to listen to them. Except the first thing that people say when they see you talking is who is this guy? What's he what's he do and whatever comes after that is going to decide if they're going to continue to listen or not listen and too many of you guys are trying to get them to listen without that part of it where it's not going to work out well for you so you'd be better off just putting your head down bro documenting the grind documenting the process telling the wins and

losses along the journey. That way people are witnessing your journey. Okay. And that way, when you do become that higher, greater version, you have a whole bunch of people are like, fuck dude, I watched him do it. Which by the way, that's what I got going on. I've been doing this internet shit since 2010. You see what I'm saying? How many people, how many of you guys listen to the show have watched me do this over the last fucking decade plus a lot of you That's why the show has good listenership Okay, so a lot of you guys are trying to do something and i'm saying this in an empathetic way

Because I fucking give a fuck about you guys A lot of you guys are trying to put the fucking cart before the horse and you need to go produce some results Otherwise people are never going to listen I love it, man. I fucking love it. Guys, Andy, that was four. Yeah, don't be a whore.