REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 53. The Ultimate Happiness Hack

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

Did you know that you can control your happiness? Most people have the wrong idea when it comes to being happy and view it as a mystical force they have zero control over. The truth is, your daily actions contribute to your happiness. On today's show, Andy shares his top 5 steps you can do today to put you on the right path to creating happiness.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living, spoke it to existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys?

It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And man, are there a fucking ton of those right now. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today has been a very good day for me. Okay, it's Monday, you're going to probably be hearing this on a Tuesday. But we're gonna go ahead and roll with a real talk to start the week off because I feel like people need something to help them get back in the habit of having good days. We're surrounded by so many outside influences and circumstances that we can't control right now, and it's inescapable, okay?

We look everywhere, and what do we see? We see the negativity. We see people arguing. We see people you know, we see the negativity. We see people arguing. We see, you know, people hating each other. And the Internet is just a very toxic place right now. And I wanted to recommit to having you guys start to become more comfortable having good days. And a long time ago, many, many years ago, I did a podcast of basically five or six things that could help you create happiness at your will. So how to have a great day every day. All right.

And that's how you have to look at it. Life is hard. Life is stressful. Life is frustrating. Life is long. All right. But it's also short. And so we need to learn how to produce a good day at

will. I don't think anybody could argue that, right? Like we can't continue to float through life expecting for a happy life just to happen to us. We have to snap out of our days and start to become conscious and aware of how to create a great life. And I'm going to do that today in today's podcast. I'm going to give you some actionable steps for you to create a great day at will. But before I do that, I wanted to talk to you a little bit and just really express my gratitude for all of you that bought the 75 hard book and the app. We did a

couple of very amazing things, uh, with no help. All right. A lot of times when people create a new book or a new item, they send it out to everybody on social media and they want everybody to help post and you know, they run ads and they do all these things we didn't do that with this book we simply asked for those of you who were interested in the program who have done the program who know the value of the program to buy the book and i just wanted to say thank you because we sold so many books uh in literally 87 minutes i I was blown away. The books that we ordered were to last for six months and we sold them out in an hour and a half. Guys, I just want to say thank you for that. Um, and I want to be real with you. You know, there's a lot of times doing this podcast that

I feel pretty lonely. Um, I say a lot of things that other people won't say. Uh, I say a lot of things that other people won't say. I say a lot of things that I believe are true. I try to side with the factual information as much as possible. That's a whole nother podcast I want to talk to you guys about. I'm making one up right now for maybe later in the week that talks about how to make decisions and how to critically think things through so that, you know, you can find the truth. But even the best of us, those of us who, uh, you know, work very hard and, and obviously, you know, the, the external evidence of people caring about what I have to say, uh, is there, you know, but that doesn't stop those negative thoughts or those questionable thoughts

or those doubts from my head. And this was the first book that was ever a, uh, you know, grown up book. We've done very well with the children's books and you guys, you know, have done a great job, um, you know, sharing those around and it's highly appreciated, but this was the first book that was of content made for someone who was, you know, older. And I just wanted to say, uh, it was a very cool feeling to sell those books out like that. And it made me realize like, Hey, maybe, uh, you're, you're being an idiot, you know, to myself, I was thinking that made me realize, you know, Hey man, maybe you're selling yourself a little short on what people want to hear it from you. And, uh, it was a very good feeling. And I just want to say, thank you guys for that.

Um, I did the book two different ways. Uh, I did it as singles for 1999 and I did it as packs of five for 30 bucks. And a lot of people were like, why are you doing that? Well, the reason I did that is because it's, it's been a consistent theme that people who contribute or people who complete 75 hard want to contribute to the program. And if that's you, if it's, if 75 hard has been something that's helped you redefine your mentality, uh, create the confidence, the grit, the self-esteem, the fortitude, all of the amazing qualities that you get from that program. And you were wondering like, how can you pay me back? Um, that's how buy the five pack and spread it around, give it to people that you care about, explain the program to them. Um, and, and I just, you know, I thought that'd be a cool way to try to see how much of what I

say actually works in real life. Right. I tell you guys, word of mouth is everything and I'm willing to ride on it. You know what I'm saying? So that's what that's for. I stand by what I teach you guys. I believe that when you give good things, people do good, and they reciprocate. And so I just want to say thank you guys for doing that. And it's just an unbelievably, overwhelmingly humble feeling and cool feeling knowing that you guys care about what I have to say. And I know that might sound stupid, right? Like a lot of you guys are like, dude, at this point in time, I can't believe you're thinking that because I said a little bit like this on my story the other

day and people like literally laughed at me. But you have to realize, dude, I'm a human too. I'm a normal dude. When I say regular dude in my Instagram profile, I'm a regular dude. And I have doubts sometimes too. And you guys came through on this and it really was a time where I needed that boost. And really that means more to me than anything of like selling anything. So I just really appreciate you guys and love you guys. And I look forward to what we're going to do together over the course of time. Now, with that being said, guys, I do have a podcast for you. And like I said, we're going to talk about creating happiness. And the reason I wanted to really bring this up right now, like I said,

is because we're having a tough time in society. You know, everybody has bad days and some people, they have them more than others. And for some reason, no matter what you do, you just can't seem to shake it. I think we can all feel that way, right? But I'm going to share with you guys five steps that will help you get back on the right path. Now, these things don't require a bad day or a bad week or a bad month to put into effect. In fact, I'd encourage all of you to practice these steps on a daily basis to see just how profound the effect will be on your general mood and outlook on life. So I want to start off talking about that by sharing a story, all right? Back in the early 80s, there was a coach by the name of Jim Valvano. Now, if you're above 30, you probably know who this is.

If you're below 30, you probably know who this is. If you're below 30, you may not. Jim Valvano was the head coach of North Carolina State basketball team. All right. In 1983, his team went to the national championship as a heavily unfavored underdog and against nearly impossible odds. I'm talking about a team that was chock full of future Hall of Famers. Valvano and his team were able to secure the title. It was and continues to be one of the greatest sports upsets of all time. And while his victory and celebration went down in history,

it was his ESPY speech 10 years later that proved to be his legacy. Now, a lot of you guys have seen this, but what most people don't realize when they look at this speech is that Valvano was terminally ill with cancer, and he'd only lived two more months after the speech was delivered. And at the very end of his speech, after being told he only had 30 seconds left, he said a very iconic line that is, you know, rightfully repeated over and over and over again. And I happen to agree with, he said, if you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day.

That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special. And that, that line stuck with America. And I want you to think about that. He was at the end of his life following an incredibly hard struggle and was still able to impart that incredible message on to society. Can you imagine what his life was leading up to this moment, up to this speech? He's battling a terminal illness. He knows he's going to die. You know he had plenty of bad days. But despite all that, he managed to give the rest of the world a truly amazing framework for happiness. Words like that get you thinking. And that's what happened to me.

I had one of those days where nothing seems to be going to plan. And I thought about what process I should be going through to get me into more of a, you know, pleasant state of mind. So I want to get into that and what those steps would be. So the first step is just this. Be productive. Okay, there's an old proverb that goes, an idle mind is the devil's workshop. And that's exactly right. I don't care if you aren't religious.

The concept still applies. Basically, if you aren't keeping your mind sharp and keeping yourself busy, it's going to affect your thought process. If you're already having a bad day, this is certainly going to be true. The mind has an uncanny ability to go to dark places when you're not providing it with some sort of distraction. OK, a lot of us automatically go there. If you're giving yourself time to dwell on the bad things, you're going to spiral into negativity. It's a negativity cycle. You have a bad day. Then you keep thinking about each detail that pissed you off. And instead of moving on, you just keep going through this system of thinking and become more and more and more angry thinking about it over and over and over again.

I know that sounds familiar because it sounds familiar to me too. But this is where you need to get up and do something about it. I've talked about my powerless concept plenty of times, but it's the perfect tool in this scenario. Write out five critical tasks for the day and don't sleep until you've checked each one of them off. The act of writing this list itself is going to take your mind off the day's negative aspects. It's gonna get you refocused on what you need to do. The list is meant to help you build and create momentum, self-esteem, and confidence both in yourself

and in your ability to accomplish difficult tasks and goals that you otherwise think you might not be able to accomplish. All of those things are going to put you in a better frame of mind. When you're productive and you inevitably start to cross these things off the list, your mood has nowhere to go but up. And if you want to find out about the power list, it's episode 107 for the MFCEO project, or episode 16 of the Real AF, all right? So if you go back to episode 16 of Real AF feed or episode 107, way further back in the feed, you're going to hear

what the power list is all about. So that's step number one, right? Be productive. Step number two, learn something new. That same proverb I mentioned earlier works to this point as well. Don't sit on your couch and veg out eating Doritos and bologna sandwiches, all right? The Kardashians aren't going to help you right now. In fact, they're probably just going to piss you off more. Instead, grab a book, listen to a podcast. I'm not going to tell you how to set your guidelines, but you have to understand that you need to do something, something that actively engages your mind and forces you to pick up some new knowledge. Sure, you might be having a bad day now, but it is eventually going to get better just like every other bad day you've ever had in your life. So when you look back at that time, wouldn't it be better about yourself if you knew that you

were using this time to actually become productive instead of laying on the couch and feeling sorry for yourself? Think about that. Think about what that does for your confidence. What does it do for your confidence to know that every time you're having a bad day, you're able to flip it over into something productive? How valuable would that tool be? How valuable would that tool be so that you, every single time you were negative, instead of whining and crying and pouting and eating all the fucking bologna, all right, you actually went out and did something productive. That's powerful, man. Now I'm not asking you to go read all of, you know, crime and punishment. I'm saying sit down for 20, 30 minutes and read something that's going to help you improve in the area that you need to improve upon it's not going to take you very long until you realize

hey that shit I was mad about a minute ago it really doesn't matter in the long run you're going to be more intelligent and you're going to have a leg up on those around you when you learn how to do this so the third thing is be thankful right. When you're in a moment of your life where nothing seems to be going right, take a moment to look around and be thankful for all that you do have. It's a quick, easy exercise that's going to change your perspective immediately. Sure, you might have had a small fender bender earlier today, but shouldn't you be thankful that you left from a home, you called your own, you drove a car you also own, and you went to work because you're fortunate

enough to be employed? Entrepreneurs and other successful people, guys, they're always looking into the future and that's great. But if you don't take the time to appreciate what you do have, you're going to end up in a situation where you're always feeling like you don't have anything. If you spend each day cultivating a state of gratitude and appreciation, you create a scenario where you set yourself up to foster positive mindset and a fulfilled existence because you realize what you do have around you and you're grateful for it. Be grateful for everything you have, not just your physical assets. Be thankful for your family, your friends, your employees, your coworkers, anything that you can find to be thankful for, use it because it creates an environment of growth. So what do we

got so far? We got be productive. We got to learn something new. We got to be thankful. And point number four is this, be generous. I'm not saying you have to write a check, all right? Everybody here is generous, and they think, oh, you got to write a check, or you got to give away money. That's not what we're saying here. Give something of value. Most of you value your time. People appreciate time a lot more than money, too. I'm going to tell you that right now, okay? The feeling that you get from donating your time, not only is it going to occupy your mind, but the feeling that you're going to get of contributing and being part of something helps wash away these negative feelings. All right. And how do you do this on a daily basis? It's real simple. Do things that you otherwise

wouldn't normally do with your time. Call a friend you haven't talked to in years, call your grandparents, call your parents. They a friend you haven't talked to in years. Call your grandparents. Call your parents. They probably provided you with more than you could ever repay anyway. The least you could do is take half an hour out of your day and let them know that you're thinking about them. All right. There's many, many, many ways to be generous. Stop thinking that generous equates to money. It doesn't. Offer to help a friend or a neighbor with some yard work. You know, look guys, the truth is shoveling dirt or helping build a deck for half a day is going to relieve your anxiety because you're going to be too fucking tired and too sore and too sweaty to

even worry about it. Being generous helps you be happy. Okay. So what do we got now? We got be productive. We got to learn something new. We got be thankful and we got be generous. All Okay. So what do we got now? We got to be productive. We got to learn something new. We got to be thankful and we got to be generous. All right. So the fifth thing is this, enjoy something that money can't buy. Look guys, everyone is always hustling, especially you guys, man. You guys who listen to this show, you're always hustling. You're always pushing to be able to afford that next big purchase. I love that. All right. But you got to get money off your mind for a minute and chill. All right. There's plenty of things that you can do if you choose to look around that will, you know, make your life much better and they don't cost anything. All right. One thing I do

here, guys, I do this every single day. I take 20 minutes, man, and I play with my dogs. And I can tell you, my anger goes completely away in about 30 seconds of that. And those of you with kids, you probably can relate to that as well. All right. I don't have kids. I got dogs. Some of you don't think it's the same. It is to me, motherfuckers.

So chill the fuck out. All right. But what I'm getting at here is spend some time with your family. Go on a run. Go on a hike. Head to the park and hang out. If you don't have time to leave your house, go outside and hit the yard work, man. We always got stuff to do.

Grab a hammock. Get a lawn chair. Chill. Read. You can combine these things, but do it outside. Don't sit in front of the TV because it distracts you from the moment. And this has to be a purposeful thing that you do enjoy something that money cannot buy. All right. And for all of you, it's going to be different,

but keeping that in mind, we always turn to these material toys and items. And look, I know that sounds weird because I got all the motherfucking toys and I love them, but you know what I love more. I love enjoying things that money can't buy. Those things are what make us truly happy, and it's just the truth, all right? So let's review real quick. What do we have here? We got be productive, all right? Get shit done. It always makes you happy. We've got learn something new. Learning something new is always going to relieve your anxiety. It's going to make you feel more in control. It's going to make you feel more in control. It's going to make you feel better about the direction you're heading.

Be thankful. We can't grow unless we have gratitude for what we currently have. If we spend our whole time and our whole day being frustrated about what we don't have, how can we ever feel good ever? Okay, number four, be generous. Not just with money. Money is a great way to be generous. But if you don't have a lot of money right now which a lot of you don't instead make it time all right that

half an hour that you give to someone that you wouldn't normally is going to make you feel just as good as it makes them feel all right and and the last thing, number five, enjoy something that money can't buy. Now, each one of these points alone is definitely going to make you feel better. Okay? It's going to help you out. But when you combine them all together in a purposeful action on a day-by-day basis, now you're on a path of total success and fulfillment that most people will never even be aware of, much less reach. All right? So think about this list. Go back and listen to this a couple of times. Get this list in your head,

take notes and see how good you do on a day by day basis, practicing these things in your day to day life. And I know you might be sitting there thinking, dude, I am already stressed for time. I'm doing 75 hard. I got the power list. I'm doing all this shit. How am I supposed to add this all in? I can't afford to do that. No, you can't afford not to do that because having peace of mind and having happiness creates an environment where you're able to attract all other good things into your life. So if you've been paying attention, you could, you've probably drawn the conclusion by now that you could add these things in very simply. All right, read while you're in the hammock.

Play with your dogs and realize how grateful you are to have them around. Be present in the moment of those things. Helping a friend move some furniture, that's being productive, okay? You don't have to go so far out of your way. I'm saying these are good guidelines for having a great day on a day-by-day basis.

Test yourself. Write these things down. See how well you do. I promise you when you execute on all these things, at the end of the day, you're going to say, that was a great fucking day. All right, guys, that's it. All right? I love you guys. Don't forget, pay the fee.

If you thought this was a great show, talk about it. Send it to a friend. Tell them to give it a listen. Every time the conversation comes up of what do you listen to? What are you consuming? Dude, pay the fee, man. We're up here doing our job. We're trying to contribute some positivity and some good thoughts into the world.

Help us spread the show. I love you guys. I'll talk to you later.